The Time ‘World’s Most Collected Painter’ Thomas Kinkade, Who Is Dead Now, Lied To Us About The NEA

  sleeps with the fishes

Hoopy Easter!The year: 2004. The place: Grand Central Art Center in Santa Ana, California. The occasion: the “private” opening for an ironic showing of Thomas Kinkade’s Christian-fished, trademark-marked work with select important people (at the time, your editrix was an art critic and thusly very important) and 300 or so of Thomas Kinkade’s closest fans, who had a nice group prayer. That’s when yours truly saw a bunch of people on the Grand Central board discreetly gathering in an artist’s studio to be addressed by the Master himself, and so decided to crash the party. As everyone stood around, smiling and nodding politely, an old man who was dean of Cal State Fullerton’s art department beamed and thanked Kinkade for showing artists how to be financially self-sufficient. Then he spoke joyously of a gal who had found a niche as a Painter of Fish™. It seems when a sports fisherman catches a really wonderful bass and wants to commemorate it, he calls this gal! And she’s making a living! Painting fish! The smiles got tighter, and Kinkade took over. He thanked the board for the lovely installation of his work—it’s the first time he’s been shown at a respectable institution—and approvingly mentioned the exhibit’s “subtle irony” so we’d know that he knew that we knew and that it wasn’t like he didn’t know.

But then, having inculcated in us a shred of grudging respect and having used terms like hyperromanticity so we’d remember he went to ArtCenter, he started in with the Bushian straw men. And those straw men went a little something like this: “Tax dollars, tax dollars, death art, tax dollars, rotting flesh and tax dollars.” But everyone knows Damien Hirst is British; he gets tax pounds.

We smiled and nodded, but finally someone on the board grew some big full balls and, smilingly, asked Kinkade, “When you say ‘tax dollars,’ what exactly do you mean?” “Well, the NEA,” grumped Kinkade, who actually had a very smug and loveless face for a Jesus freak (Jesus freaks are supposed to beam with the Light™ of the Lord), and then it was my turn to have a sac full of swimmers, as I (smilingly) reminded him that the NEA hasn’t granted individual artists since, well, Jesse Helms. Kinkade didn’t have much to say to that, because he had been caught in a stupid rightwing talking point lie. Ha, ha! I WON!

And now Thomas Kinkade is dead, the End. [LATimes]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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589 comments

    1. tessiee

      You're thinking of the wornderful illustrator Al Hirschfeld (lived to 100!), who would hide "Nina" in drawings as a tribute to his daughter, and often, a number to indicate how *many* times "Nina" occurred in a particular drawing. The drawings themselves were awesome, but hunting for the Nina Easter eggs always made them more fun.

      1. Barb

        Just Googled it and Kinkade did it as a tribute to his wife, Nanette. Jeff mentioned it to me and I was hoping Rebecca would confirm.

          1. littlebigdaddy

            Well, it would make more sense than blaming Ronald McDonald (unless it were a child sex crime, which I could totally see).

        1. Isyaignert

          He also embedded 214 in his paintings as a tribute to their wedding day (Valentine's Day).

      1. McDonnellville

        That's probably for the better. You might get blinded by the light that just radiates from the canvas.

    2. Lascauxcaveman

      Y'know, it's a fine thing that he loved his wife. Even enough to rip off a another artist. So anyway, now he's dead.

      He's still a fucking hack.

  1. Steverino247

    A relative has one of his paintings on a living room wall. I immediately noticed that the light and shadows were wrong.You could tell where the light in the scene was coming from, but the shadows were in the wrong direction from the light source. His "work" would be better placed on plates used to serve children food than on a wall someplace.

    1. tessiee

      One of my relatives, who I don't really get along with because she's a very angry person, is always nasty to me, so I sort of avoid her if I can. Last year, visiting her new and completely renovated and redecorated house, what did I see but a GINORMOUS Kincaide painting in the dining room where you couldn't possibly NOT see it from anywhere in the room.
      Strangely, I went from disliking her to feeling sorry for her [melodramatic]: "I didn't know, Man. I just… didn't… KNOW."

        1. flamingpdog

          Sounds like he's never gonna rise again, unless they just happen to position his body in such a way as to make the blood all drain to that one spot.

    2. Inchhigh

      "His 'work' would be better placed on plates used to serve children food than on a wall someplace."

      Oh, Steverino! You have solved the childhood obesity problem!

      1. CivicHoliday

        Indeed. The punishment for finishing your entire plate is having to see that crap!

  2. The_Lucky_Wife

    I thought real artists were supposed to starve because they couldn't sell their paintings and show real concern for their fellow men living in poverty. You know, like Van Gogh, who suffered from insanity as well as poverty.

      1. AbandonHope

        This is the absolute first thing that came to my mind upon reading that, and lo and behold, you are there with the first comment expressing my thoughts.

    1. OkieDokieDog

      I was wondering if Obama had Kinkade snuffed too, cause, you know, Muslins hate the Jeebus people.

        1. tessiee

          ^
          Every single comment in this thread is so full of win!
          *sniffle*
          I love you guys!
          *wipes away a single tear*

        1. Puffperney

          Sad too. The loss of the perfect cheesecake/nude artist of all time to religion. I will never forgive organized religion for that crime against art and humanity.

        1. sullivanst

          A quick click on Indie's name confirms the usual suspect: hangin' out with Ghost Andrew Breitbart and attempting to point out his transparency has been responsible for all the negative pness I've seen in my brief time here.

    2. flamingpdog

      I dunno, but they do say good things happen in threes (Thanks, Radio). Who else is gonna die to complete the trifecta?

      Any one know if Spanky2B is still alive?

    3. carlgt1

      Terrorism?

      So maybe Kinkade & Breitbart's actual personal hell is Kinkade painting Breitbart throughout eternity?

          1. tessiee

            Palin can count all the way up to four, but she never gets past two, because she always quits halfway through.

  3. Clankie

    Great, now his works will appreciate in value one hundredfold. What is 100 times nothing?
    Where's your God now, Thomas Kinkade?
    He painted himself into a corner, and now he has painted himself into the light.
    This is simultaneously the best and worst moment ever for the Hallmark Corporation.
    I'll be here all night, unlike the poor (and somehow more conservative) man's Norman Rockwell.

    1. tessiee

      I think Norman Rockwell gets an undeserved rep for being conservative because those are the paintings that got famous (that damn Thanksgiving picture probably sent 1000 therapists' kids to Harvard!).

      While I don't know what he, personally, believed; all of his work wasn't cutesy in that Disneyfied, world-that-never-existed, way. If you look at some of his less famous pictures like "The Golden Rule", or "Moving In", or "The Problem we all LIve with" ( a painting of a small black girl walking to a newly integrated school accompanied by an escort of U.S. Marshals), you can see that he was a decent, compassionate man, who could have stuck with the cutesey, money-printing stuff, but who chose to tackle some of the important issues that were controversial in their day.

      For those who might be interested: http://www.artscope.net/VAREVIEWS/NRockwell.shtml

      1. V572 Hogan Gidley

        The difference between genuinely naive artists like Rockwell and cynical hacks like Kinkade is that Rockwell had empathy for others. Hard to believe it now but that picture was very controversial.

        1. Lascauxcaveman

          Much of his painting was naive, but he wasn't. He did this one with civil right workers getting murdered in the 1960s.

          Maybe he didn't do too much stuff like this, because the profit margin was kinda low on this type of thing.

          1. V572 Hogan Gidley

            Wow, didn’t remember that one. (Like many, many American families, mine got the Saturday Evening Post every week, which more often than not had a Rockwell on the cover.)

      2. JustPixelz

        Rockwell idealized America as perfected even as he enjoyed pointing out our little foibles (like in "Triple Self-Portrait"). Even "The Problem We All Life With" can be seen as illustration the problem being solved, rather than the problem (segregation in particular) itself. Even the title is a little suspect: Is the problem school desegregation or the racism shown on the wall or jackbooted government thugs. (OK, I'm quibbling.)

        At least Rockwell put actual human beings in his paintings. Kinkade wanted "the light" to be the central and only element of life in his work. Not the people who lit that welcoming light. (OK, I don't like him.)

        Anyway, THANK YOU Tessiee for your comments and the link.

      3. Dr. Nick Riviera

        I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about here so feel free to tell me to "cram it with walnuts, ugly", but I thought the thanksgiving picture was a work done in response to Roosevelt's speech and represented "Freedom from Want". Sounds kinda socialist if you ask me…

        He might have been a conservative, I have absolutely no idea, but I never really got that vibe. Please correct me if Im wrong. Im an art idiot.

        1. Biel_ze_Bubba

          Those were the days when being conservative and being decent went together pretty well.

      4. raresteaksandoilpainting

        Late reply, I know, my point wasn't particularly about Norman Rockwell's personal political beliefs, but rather of the political beliefs of the average household in which one will normally find some Norman Rockwell paintings. That Thomas Kinkade is the artist for people for whom Norman Rockwell can be a little too daring.

    2. Fare la Volpe

      Rockwell was very socially liberal, and butted heads with the Saturday Evening Post for decades over his desire to make political statements and their desire to suppress him. His thanksgiving portrait ("Freedom from Want") was part of his Four Freedoms series, which also included Freedom of Religion, Freedom of Speech, and Freedom from Fear, all of which were meant to loudly demonstrate his support for Roosevelt's New Deal.

      "The Problem We All Live With" is one of his most controversial paintings because it was a portrait of Ruby Bridges, a little black girl in New Orleans who was walked to school for years by US Federal marshalls because every day a crowd would gather outside the school and try to lynch her (not even kidding; a 6-year-old girl would regularly receive death threats. Every teacher in the school refused to teach her, so she was forced to have lessons by herself with a teacher they bused in from another district. The threats against her were so severe that marshalls forbade her from ever eating school food because of a credible threat that someone was trying to poison her). Rockwell could not believe how monstrous this story was, and that such an affront to human dignity was allowed to go on in his homeland.

      Rockwell also made "Southern Justice," the theme of which is the lynching of a black man. Both of these paintings were ground-breaking enough in the fact that they featured black people as their protagonists; hell, the Post had never allowed him to feature blacks as anything more than crowd members or servants for the almost four decades he worked for them. Rockwell insisted that his later work be overtly political so that no one would associate him with his kitschy Post work.

      So please don't think less of Rockwell because the Precious Moments crowd idolizes his cutesy commercial work. None of them understand that most of his work was ironic, or was explicitly anti-war (look at his "Soldier Returning Home"). It's like Republicans who love Springteen's "Born in the USA" without realizing that the song is a razor-sharp attack on Republican war-mongering and outsourcing.

      1. tessiee

        Appalling story. Sometimes I'm truly ashamed to be an American — no — I'm ashamed to be in the same country where some people are like that and others allow it to happen.

      2. Negropolis

        That was needed just to set the record straight. I was second guessing myself when I kread the comment, because I just knew the guy had a progressive mindset for the time.

      3. Designer_Rants

        Excellent. Do you write for a living? You could, I suppose.

        ETA: The part about the 6yr old in Louisiana needing full-time body guard detail for years is… something I wouldn't believe if I saw it in movie (too disgusting, too over-the-top), except that I know it's true.

        That there are certain peoples who want to repeal those protections is something I don't understand, but also reminds me of how conservatives say "there was a time an place" for unions — but now they're unnecessary.

      4. raresteaksandoilpainting

        So, since I apparently can't edit my original post, what I am saying in that post is not that Norman Rockwell was, himself, politically conservative. The point I was making was that Thomas Kincade is more artistically conservative than Norman Rockwell. In the sense that a burkha is more conservative than an ankle length dress. While Rockwell frequently painted an idyllic portrait of American life; Kincade painted things that looked like the greeting cards I send my devoutly Christian grandmother. I never intended that to be a dig on Norman Rockwell, plenty of Rockwell's works have both social and artistic merit, it is just that stylistically he was fairly conservative. While there is perhaps something vaguely soothing in the works of Thomas Kincade (like a visual laxative) there is just absolutely nothing of merit in there at all. Kincade's work is all about how the White Jesus Light God (Ra?) shines on cabins and little churches and tiny schoolhouses and all the things racist-ass white people think life was all about back before the civil war. Fuck Thomas Kincade, and I'm glad he died reasonably early, of, I presume, auto-erotic asphyxiation.

        1. HippieEsq

          This whole discussion makes we want to burn a Kincade in protest. Not sure it will fit into my vaporizer, though.

          1. Clankie

            yeah, plus I do not think you want to get high off those fumes. A Dali or Picasso repro maybe, but a Kincade? That's probably like PCP if it had dispositioned its users to violence and shopping at Walmart with equal zeal.

    3. not that Dewey

      And "Russian Schoolroom" is pretty awesome.

      Poor guy gets a bad rep because pretentious art critics (no offense, Rebecca) didn't consider commercial art to be "real" art. Even the wikipedia article refers to him as "American Illustrator Norman Rockwell", (an originally derisive term that he embraced as a way of sticking it to his detractors), and even the wikipedia writer fails to delineate the boundary between "illustration" and "art". The Problem We All Live With, The Four Freedoms, Southern Justice and Russian Schoolroom are fairly clear indications that he was an "artist", (whatever that word means) and a rather effective one.

      Yes, we are passionate defenders of Norman Rockwell.

      1. tessiee

        "Even the wikipedia article refers to him as "American Illustrator Norman Rockwell", (an originally derisive term that he embraced as a way of sticking it to his detractors)"

        Every person in every Fine Arts class I've ever taken uses [sneer] "ILLUSTRATOR" as the second-worst insult in existence; the worst, of course, being [Sideshow Bob shudder] "CRAFTS".

      2. tessiee

        According to the Wiki article, "Russian Schoolroom" was stolen from
        "a small art gallery in Clayton, Missouri, in June 1973. In 1988 it turned up and was sold at an auction in New Orleans for about $70,000. Steven Spielberg bought the painting from Judy Goffman Cutler, a noted art dealer who specialized in American illustrators, in 1989 for $200,000. A member of his staff spotted the painting on a FBI web listing of stolen works of art and the authorities were immediately notified.[2]
        As of 2009 the painting was in the custody of the U.S. District Court in Las Vegas.[3] The court decided in 2010 that the painting belonged to art dealer Judy Goffman Cutler who has added it to the collection on display at the National Museum of American Illustration.[4]"

        It seems fitting that Steven Speilberg should buy a Norman Rockwell painting, but I'm glad that it's in a museum where everybody can have access to it, because I'm a big socialist.

  4. OkieDokieDog

    Ugh. You couldn't pay me to carry a piece of that crap "art" home. I stick it in the same category as Precious Memories "collectibles", as in: it is crap.

    1. Barb

      Precious Memories collectibles come from the Franklin Mint because that's what you'd need to get the shitty taste out of your mouth after they arrive.

      1. Karma_Suture

        I had the dubious pleasure of visiting the precious moments shrine down in Missouri or Arkansas …. somewhere. It was creepy. All of those sightless children scattered about the lawn. The artist was just as creepy.

    2. Dashboard Buddha

      Precious Memories? Is that like those "Love Is…" sexless, horrid, hellbeasts?

      1. tessiee

        "It's a cartoon about two naked eight-year-olds who are married." — Homer J. Simpson

    3. Texan_Bulldog

      My mother-in-law collected those stupid David Winter cottages (and when she passed away, got bequeathed to me…ugh). But whenever I see them–tucked in a cardboard box on a closet shelf–I think of Kinkade's paintings & hate them even more.

      1. comrad_darkness

        Maybe she left them to you in hopes you'd take life a little less seriously. The world can be a playful place . . . for the delusional.

  5. Pragmatist2

    Darn. I was hoping to have hum paint my house to look like one of those snow-covered cottages. Now I'll have to wait for winter.

  6. DocChaos

    The man made millions selling prints of quasi-religious paintings to the rubes that Motel 6 would be embarrassed to hang on their walls. On some level one has to admire his ability to separate fools from their money, though I'd respect him more if I thought he had the same contempt for his fans that he obviously had for art itself – you know, like Jeff Koons.

    1. finallyhappy

      married to a porn star and created a giant balloon dog- and that is why I love Jeff Koons

    2. comrad_darkness

      He really took his franchisees for a ride too. He had the whole sales chain paying up wazoo. He was brilliant at that. Also totally amoral, at best.

    3. Chichikovovich

      Hooking the cash-milking machine to stables full of the dumb and tasteless (in cages so tight that they can't turn around! Tormented in cruel experiments!) is, in general, a very bad thing. I'm not going to argue about that.

      But I want to carve out an exception in this case. If Kinkaide hadn't existed, every last penny that was spent on his dreck would have gone instead to the American Family Foundation and the Santorum campaign. The man was, unsuspectingly an American hero.

  7. MarieDeGournay

    In a window in 'downtown' Port Jefferson Station, NY, there is a Kinkade painting of Mickey and friends marching down Main St. in Disney World. I contend that that image is part of the reason I needed to go back on antidepressants.

    1. OhNoGuy

      Robert Stone – "Mickey Mouse will see you dead." (And I think that is an accurate quote (too lazy to get up and look through the book.) )

    1. Fare la Volpe

      God that infuriates me. What would that jelly-bean-brain Reagan know about the fucking Constitution? I guess that Congressional hearing into the Iran-Contra scandal was just to congratulate him for doing such a bang-up job.

      1. MaxUdargo

        I've realized that, like Jesus, Christian conservatives always talk in parables. You're confused and angry because you think the Constitution in the painting literally represents the founding document. Actually, like the Founding Fathers, the Constitution represents "America the way it was and should be."

        And the message of the painting is simply, "Mr. Negro, how can you stand there being president of the United States when it makes white men so sad? Don't you know what you're doing to him?"

        So, you see, it has nothing to do with the law or the Iran-Contra crisis. Reagan was a Constitutional hero because he believed in America the way it was and should be.

        1. tessiee

          OK, I would now vote for Obama if for no other reason than to distress the reactionary asshat who painted this (McNaughton?).

          With that settled:
          1. Who's the depressed-looking guy sitting on the park bench, and why is he depressed?
          2. What did the white-wigged guy in the knee breeches catch, and why is it invisible?
          3. What is everybody in the picture looking at, slightly outside of the right-hand margin?

          1. freddymcmurray

            1. Santorum. You need to ask why?

            2. invisible poo. from barack the magic negro (it's magic poo, you see). he's shitting on the constitution, remember.

            3. they're looking at the commies that will soon be marching into frame. you can tell, because all of the mean and nasties are to barack's left, and the rest (the majority, i might add, including Trick Dick) are to Barack's right. You know, rightwing and "right". somehow JFK and Johnson got painted to the right of Barack (for starting Vietnam?), while Teddy got the left (protecting wildlife?).

  8. Designer_Rants

    OT, but remember a couple weeks ago, in response to Trayvon, how we were hearing about "The Talk"? Well, then this guy from National Review wrote a super-racist "white version" that he says to his kids. Now the blowback.

    1. The_Lucky_Wife

      My father says that the roots of racism are hate and the fear that "The Other" is really superior to "Us".

      RW reactions to the Trayvon Martin murder has proven to me the truth of his statement.

      1. Designer_Rants

        I can agree with that. I also think there's a residual primal fear that other tribes will be superior to us ("us" being my own mixture of Eastern European muttery) at using up our resources; food, shelter, women (fer-baby-makins/gene expression), etc.

        *Now I will put on my reading glasses and sound even more pretentious*, and so, I suppose wingnuts can't turn off that fear by rationalizing with themselves that the blah tribe isn't going to eat up all their food and knock up all their women. But instead they try to pass laws to make women be subservient to men, and marginalize the blah and brown tribes' powers in any way possible (voter registration is a recent example).

        I'm not a sociologist or anything, so realize that's all just my opinion.

    2. Swampgas_Man

      Refreshing to see the racists outting themselves in the comments over there. That's why I generally stick to sites like Wonkette and AVClub.com , where I can read the comments without weeping or raising my blood pressure.

      1. Designer_Rants

        Agreed. And I shouldn't have posted comments on the Daily Caller a couple days ago. My email filled up with comments…. I guess I have to do something like that every 6 months or so, to remind me why I shouldn't.

  9. OkieDokieDog

    Is the artwork of Thomas Kinkade featured in a gallery near you? Show us where and we might air your photo on tonight's show! – from the ABC World News twitter

    So watch! Or not.

    1. Chichikovovich

      Oooh! Oooh! Teacher, ask me, ask me!

      [Not that Dewey taught me how to do it on the Ann Romney spanks that rascal Mitt thread]

      I assume (since, really, what else could it be) you want to provide a link to the results of this weekend's world curling championship semifinals and finals.

      Here's how you do it (though there's no need because I've done it already):

      [less than sign] a href="URL YOU WANT TO LINK TO"[greater than] TEXT YOU WANT – In this case: "this weekend's world curling championship semifinals and finals."[less than] /a [greater than]

    2. bagofmice

      painteroflight

      Left angle bracket to start an element definition, 'a' to specify an anchor element, href is an attribute to the element to direct where the anchor should land, and then a right angle bracket to close the element definition, then the text that you are marking up, and the a closing element definition to ensure the next bit of text is unaffected.

      w3schools.com as mentioned earlier.

    3. bagofmice

      Just think of html as a specialized form of glossing or highlighting. Once you grok that, the rest falls into line.

    4. GeneralLerong

      Fuck HTML. I had to have the a href gobbledeygook tattooed on my forearm. And I are smart.

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        just paste the link into your post, submit it, and go back and edit it. Intense debate takes care of the formalities, you just type what you want between > and <

  10. OC_Surf_Serf

    To paraphrase Picasso: I know a lot about Art and I don't know what I like…but that Kinkade stuff is pure crap.

  11. tessiee

    You guys! You guys!!

    Does anybody remember a kids' TV show called "Learn to Draw"?
    This artist would take whatever you wanted to draw — a house, a tree, a dog, a cat, etc. — and show you how to draw it, step by step, with squares, circles, and triangles.
    Since I loved to draw and got really frustrated when my pictures didn't look right to me and I couldn't figure out why not, I loved that show. I forced my mother to buy me the OFFICIAL LEARN TO DRAW SKETCH PAD and had it ready whenever the show came on. It was so awesome.
    Actually, I sorta wish they still aired it.

      1. tessiee

        Yup, Jon Gnagy.
        I must have been very small, because I was still teaching myself to read by sounding out words, but I couldn't figure out how to sound out "Gnagy" (it's pronounced "nagy", btw).

      1. tessiee

        I learned to draw (well enough to win third place in a statewide student art show in my sophomore year of high school), I learned to read (even words that I couldn't sound out) — and I eventually bought a car from Jon Gnagy's grandson.

  12. ttommyunger

    But all the trees are definitely not the right height. On the other hand, Thomas Kinkade is dead, so he's got that going for him, which is nice.

  13. tessiee

    So I clicked on the link, and I have to say:
    There are four groups of people who can rock badly dyed jet-black hair:
    1. Elvis
    2. Alan Rickman
    3. Keef Richards
    4. Frenchwomen of a certain age who live in Paris.

    You will note that shitty painters fall into none of these groups.

    1. ratcityrebel

      He didn't even Just For Men his goatee. If you have a mop of oil-slicked Shemp hair atop your kopf and salt-and-pepper face pubes, you are not fooling anyone.

        1. James Michael Curley

          Finally saw "Galaxy Quest" a movie from the late 1990's which had one of my great fantasies; Sigourny Weaver as "Space Bimbo" Having not seen it before I did not know Alan Rickman was in it. He was rocking the Professor Snape character well back then.

        2. YasserArraFeck

          I'll watch Alan Rickman in anything – he's the greatest:
          "Dogma"
          "Truly Madly Deeply"
          Even such dogs as "Robin Hood" and "Michael Collins" were worth enduring

  14. FraAnima

    Put enough Jeebus and/or porn in your "art" and sure as hell somebody will buy it. That should be in all MFA curriculum.

  15. Serolf_Divad

    I'm sorry, but I would sooner place a "Dog's Playing Poker" on every wall of my house, than a single Kinkaid over the fireplace.

      1. Dashboard Buddha

        Hah…if humans were descended from cats rather than apes, there would be no such thing as Christianity. Can you imagine that many cats sitting near a fish and not losing their shit?

    1. Negropolis

      I'd pay for a "Jesuses Playing Poker." It'd be set to the Last Supper, and every Jesus would have an ace-and-a-face.

      BTW, you know who else liked the number 21?

    1. iburl

      Cool, I've never seen the uncropped version of that before, I've only seen it with the male bandmates.

  16. johnnyzhivago

    There's a painter who does most of his work here in NY for the Private Equity business – every time they close a plant, he does a painting of it for them… The paintings hang proudly in their offices – just like a prize fish or a 8 point buck!

    Kind of like he who dies after putting the most schlubs out of work wins…

  17. Arkoday

    ……but, teach a man how to PAINT a fish and he'll never go hungry. Nay, I say unto thee, he rolleth in Ameros!
    (Latvianicus 13.3.5 V2.1)

    1. Jukesgrrl

      Lovely. Thanks.
      Here's Frank O'Hara's utterly brilliant poem, The Day Lady Died:

      It is 12:20 in New York a Friday
      three days after Bastille day, yes
      it is 1959 and I go get a shoeshine
      because I will get off the 4:19 in Easthampton
      at 7:15 and then go straight to dinner
      and I don’t know the people who will feed me

      I walk up the muggy street beginning to sun
      and have a hamburger and a malted and buy
      an ugly NEW WORLD WRITING to see what the poets
      in Ghana are doing these days
      I go on to the bank
      and Miss Stillwagon (first name Linda I once heard)
      doesn’t even look up my balance for once in her life
      and in the GOLDEN GRIFFIN I get a little Verlaine
      for Patsy with drawings by Bonnard although I do
      think of Hesiod, trans. Richmond Lattimore or
      Brendan Behan’s new play or Le Balcon or Les Nègres
      of Genet, but I don’t, I stick with Verlaine
      after practically going to sleep with quandariness

      and for Mike I just stroll into the PARK LANE
      Liquor Store and ask for a bottle of Strega and
      then I go back where I came from to 6th Avenue
      and the tobacconist in the Ziegfeld Theatre and
      casually ask for a carton of Gauloises and a carton
      of Picayunes, and a NEW YORK POST with her face on it

      and I am sweating a lot by now and thinking of
      leaning on the john door in the 5 SPOT
      while she whispered a song along the keyboard
      to Mal Waldron and everyone and I stopped breathing

    1. Fare la Volpe

      How much you wanna bet McNaughtie Johnny is bawling his eyes out now that his celebrity boyfriend mentor has kicked it?

  18. chascates

    I'm hoping that whoever painted those huge-eyed, sad-looking children and dogs is dead as well.

    1. weejee

      Walter Keane, who took the images of starving kids with huge eyes he saw as a GI in Europe in WWII and turned it into kitsch, went to the big mall in the sky a dozen years back.

        1. weejee

          Wally used Margaret as an early version of giclée. But you are correct, she could paint circles around him and proved it in court.

    2. DoggerelCDogg

      You're talkikng about Margaret Keane, an abused woman whose husband Walter forced her to do all those painting for which he took credit. I knew her in San Francisco, she is still alive and has a gallery there. If you knew her, you wouldn't say that.

  19. tessiee

    So, I read this, and I thought, "Kincade is dead? Cool. What did the old shit die of?", and despite my doomsday-weapon-quality laziness, I actually clicked on the link, and come to find out? He was 54.
    FIFTY FOUR!???!!
    Then I thought, Ha ha, everybody here has outlived him!

    1. Rotundo_

      That's the part that amazes me-both Breitbart and Kincade were not exactly ancient, but kicked rather early on. I knew Breitbart went on some benders now and then, but was he a full blown soak? So much for "Only the good die young."

  20. MilwaukeeKent

    Every time I see his work I think, "That's the "Happy Land" Republican politicians send their minds to, when they get that weird far-off glaze in their eyes and start repeating talking points like a broken record." Wonder if his factory will just keep cranking them out and what happens to the franchise stores in suburban malls.

  21. iburl

    "Kinkade's Media Arts Group took in $32 million per quarter."

    So, $128 million a year for the most boring paintings imaginable.

    Sounds about right.

      1. valgal2342

        I love to find a way to make $32 million per quarter off those pesky Xtians and Repugs.

  22. Dudleydidwrong

    Eat your hearts out, Wonketeers. Kinkade at least has two mentions in all good dictionaries, and we don't. One mention is in the definition of "schlock" and the other is under "kitsch." There was no room under "crap" and the good dictionaries don't have "shit," or otherwise he'd be there four times.

  23. ElPinche

    i hope Bob Ross is kicking Kinkade's ass in the 9th dimension , right now. Ross' hippie pot-induced happy accidental trees shit all over Kinkade's cookie-cutter, manufactured pancy-ass glowy all-white gated community cottage crap.

    1. flamingpdog

      That homeowner must have the most laidback homeowners association in the whole wide world!

  24. Doktor StrangeZoom

    Kincade will be welcomed into Middlebrow Paradise, where he will be greeted by the Archangel Meh-chael. Serenaded by The Carpenters' Greatest Hits, he will stroll through vistas of not-altogether-unpleasant pastoral views, and everyone will be more or less satisfied for all eternity as they walk the streets of Pleather. Finally, he will be welcomed into the presence of a semiomnipotent and liking Gosh.

      1. flamingpdog

        Hear, hear – she's my secret guilty musical pleasure. If she'd only dumped her brother sooner and eaten a little more heartily …

      2. Jukesgrrl

        She had a gorgeous voice and, though her choice of material was suspect, I agree she still was not in the same category as Kinkade. He had crappy subjects and an execution that was devoid of skill or originality. She had the execution part down.

        1. Radio福井県

          I think Dok needs to exchange Kenny G for "Rainy Days and Sundaes". Noodle drool has no redeemable value, and check this out.

          1. tessiee

            Joe Queenan, a writer who is usually kind of assy, wrote a review of a Barry Manilow concert that said in part, "If you don't like him, don't go; but at least these are SONGS, with a beginning, a middle, and an end; not Kenny G jerking off over the same note for three hours". I'm inclined to agree with that.

          2. Radio福井県

            Yes, tess, that was one of Queenan's better observations. I think he tortured himself for a year with American schmaltz and dreck.

      3. OneYieldRegular

        Amen. Karen was a great talent not to be mentioned in the same breath as Thomas Kinkade. If one is looking for the musical equivalent of Thomas Kinkade, try George Winston, who compared himself to Beethoven.

          1. flamingpdog

            The Archies. I hear that Archie, Jughead and the rest of the crew didn't do a lot of their own work, too.

  25. Doktor StrangeZoom

    Completely OT, but I'm on Al Franken's mailing list, and just got an email from "People in Stock Photos for Franken" that has obviously had its desired effect–I'm posting a link to the Mother Jones story here. Nice to see somebody doing some smart meta-campaigning!

    –Man Typing on Laptop

  26. ratcityrebel

    Gather 'round, fair Wonketeers, the joys of working in the "collectibles" market. "Collectibles" are nothing more than mass produced art that targets a very nebulous group of people that think of these things as "investments". I cannot tell you the number of people who inquire as to the future value of Disney porcelain or Swarovski crystal figurines. I tried as delicately as possible to tell these dears that you should buy these things to enjoy them. One customer had so much of this stuff in her home that her bathroom was filled with Hummel figurines because there was nowhere else to put them.

    Kinkade, of course, in edition to having dedicated mall "galleries" also sold his art trinkets in independent collectible stores. A fond memory: Kinkade made a "personal appearance" in Seattle at the height of his power that cost $500 per person. What you got was to spend a January morning in the unheated hangar at Boeing Field where his private jet was parked and thrill as he walked down and shook hands and had his picture taken with store reps. He got tired rather quickly and actually turned people away. Feel justified in gravedancing. I assure you he was an awful person.

    1. BlueStateLibel

      So … are you trying to tell me that my prize Beanie Babie collection is worthless?

        1. Biff

          The Antiquities Act protects such things as telephone/telegraph poles and railroad ties, yet neither look much like antiques to me, hough I have several of each as landscape features.

    2. MrFizzy

      No doubt about that. And it is a fact that he didn't have a whole lot to do with painting any of those headache-producing pieces of art. Probably not terribly difficult to program a computer and robot to slap a lot of different colors on a trite scene and then have him sign them. Most people are just sheep.

  27. MissNancyPriss

    But died at 54 with a gaggle of little daughters, which is more tragic than his paintings.

      1. Abbystinence

        In its February 2006 decision, the arbitration panel said Kinkade and other company officials used terms like "partner," "trust," "Christian" and "God" to create "a certain religious environment designed to instill a special relationship of trust" with the couple.

        What the company didn't tell them, said their attorney, was that they would have to sell Kinkade's works at minimum retail prices while the artist undercut them with discount sales, some of which he made himself on cable television.

        In its February 2006 decision, the arbitration panel said Kinkade and other company officials used terms like "partner," "trust," "Christian" and "God" to create "a certain religious environment designed to instill a special relationship of trust" with the couple.

        What the company didn't tell them, said their attorney, was that they would have to sell Kinkade's works at minimum retail prices while the artist undercut them with discount sales, some of which he made himself on cable television.
        http://www.avclub.com/articles/qvc-artist-teams-u

        1. McDonnellville

          Never buy a used car (or anything) from someone who keeps talking about God, Jesus, how often they attend church, how they just try to be a good Christian, etc.

  28. Abbystinence

    Dark Portrait of a `Painter of Light

    "In sworn testimony and interviews, they recount incidents in which an allegedly drunken Kinkade heckled illusionists Siegfried & Roy in Las Vegas, cursed a former employee's wife who came to his aid when he fell off a barstool, and palmed a startled woman's breasts at a signing party in South Bend, Ind.

    And then there is Kinkade's proclivity for "ritual territory marking," as he called it, which allegedly manifested itself in the late 1990s outside the Disneyland Hotel in Anaheim."
    http://articles.latimes.com/2006/mar/05/business/

    1. tessiee

      Also, the guy at the convenience store near Kinkade's vacation house said he was a big porn hound who would come in and buy all the porno mags. And not just the regular ones, either, all the really pervy ones like "Gigantic Asses".

        1. horsedreamer_1

          He wanted his real Prom to be "One Nite in Tijuana" — just like the 21 Jump Street reboot.

  29. LastGasp

    Ha, ha! I WON! And now Thomas Kinkade is dead, the End.

    Whoa, that's harsh. But since I hated everything Kinkade stood for, as well as his sappy "art," I had to laugh.

  30. bumfug

    And a stunned art world can only take solace in the knowledge that Margaret Keane lives on.

  31. Dashboard Buddha

    Meh…art has been dead to me since Bob Ross died…oh, and that German dude with the "happy trees".

  32. Barrelhse

    How fortunate, Rachel, for you to have such nice memories to remember him by, while the rest of us have only his schlock.

        1. commiegirl

          It's cool, Baffle. I actually have two sisters named Sarah and Rachel, and Rachel is the go-to for about 4/5ths of everyone who gets Rebecca wrong. It's an Old Testament thang.

    1. chascates

      Oh God, thank you so much for that! I want the 'America under attack' one so badly I can't stand it (page 2, second from the top)!

      No, the one with the Klan burning a cross on the lawn!

    2. MiniMencken

      That link had me laughing so hard, the orderlies here at the Institute had to bring me a second set of meds because the first set came up out of my nose! Thanks, tessiee!

    3. MrFizzy

      Thank you for the link – some of that stuff is indescribably great. The nuke-ular bombs going off in the Kinkade scenes are particularly outstanding.

  33. Blendergoathead

    Since I have not the slightest idea of who this person is/was, would it be slanderous or libelous to call him a skullfucker?

  34. Wadisay

    The occasion: the “private” opening for an ironic showing of Thomas Kinkade’s Christian-fished, trademark-marked work

    Unfortunately, time and money do not know when they are being wasted ironically.

    According to NPR, a Thomas Kincaid picture hangs in one in every 20 houses in the USA. I suspect this means that 5% of the commenters here will be getting culled shortly.

    1. tessiee

      "According to NPR, a Thomas Kincaid picture hangs in one in every 20 houses in the USA"

      Meanwhile, one million people with talent and training in art are working crap jobs for minimum wage.

    1. V572 Hogan Gidley

      Awesome, ain't it? Too hot/odious for National Review! The link's a bit stressed by so many hits, so here's a quote.

      (10a) Avoid concentrations of blacks not all known to you personally.
      (10b) Stay out of heavily black neighborhoods.

      (10c) If planning a trip to a beach or amusement park at some date, find out whether it is likely to be swamped with blacks on that date (neglect of that one got me the closest I have ever gotten to death by gunshot).

      (10d) Do not attend events likely to draw a lot of blacks.

      (10e) If you are at some public event at which the number of blacks suddenly swells, leave as quickly as possible.

      1. Dashboard Buddha

        Holy shit, it sounds like he lifted that from some kind of zombie survival guide.

      2. SexySmurf

        (10a) Avoid concentrations of blacks not all known to you personally.

        How am I suppose to tell if I know them: they all look alike.

        (10b) Stay out of heavily black neighborhoods.

        No problem; I live in Seattle.

        (10c) If planning a trip to a beach or amusement park at some date, find out whether it is likely to be swamped with blacks on that date (neglect of that one got me the closest I have ever gotten to death by gunshot).

        Don't go to Disneyland on "Women with Big Asses Get in Free" day.

        (10d) Do not attend events likely to draw a lot of blacks.

        That's why I stopped going to church.

        (10e) If you are at some public event at which the number of blacks suddenly swells, leave as quickly as possible.

        If you're at the supermarket and they start giving out free samples of Kool-Aid, drop your organic hummus and get the fuck out.

    2. Gainsbourg69

      It is quite ironic that an Englishman would try to warn his kids about black people in public places. All the laws against hooliganism that exist all across Europe today were prompted by the way his countrymen behave when they travel abroad.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Clearly, Derbyshire doesn't even listen to rap by white, English people: "The Irony of It All" & "Too Much Brandy" explained this ten years ago.

      1. not that Dewey

        I'm so confused after reading the comments on the Politico article, which people wrote with their facebook accounts, visible to their friends, families, and employers. To wit:

        Patrick Despaw · Syracuse University
        I echo what those of us here with experience already know.

        The haughty liberals on this thread and the same haughty liberals who run National Review are so blind to the truth it could walk up and mug them and they wouldn't know it.

        Stephen Manning · San Francisco, California
        Why is there even a person called Ta-Nehisi Coates?

        Preston Wiginton · Top Commenter
        Peggy can you define racist? Just because some one does not like another group of people, does that make them racist? What a fascist you are for making us love everyone.

        Preston Wiginton · Top Commenter
        Matthew Foster Matthew maybe you would like to go to Austria and meet with the last SS survivors or to Italy to meet with the last of Mussolini's men. You would be glad you did. Books are for jews. I prefer to learn from experience and to hear it from those who lived it.

        That last guy is punking the comments, right? Books are for Jews, indeed.

        1. horsedreamer_1

          Now, even National Review is RINO. Guess you shouldn't have smoked that joint, William F. Buckley, Jr.

          1. not that Dewey

            "National Review? Why don't you get William F. Buckley to kill the spider?"

            -Alvy Singer

        2. McDonnellville

          Preston Wiginton · Top Commenter
          Peggy can you define racist? Just because some one does not like another group of people, does that make them racist? What a fascist you are for making us love everyone.

          So much to unpack here.
          "Peggy can you define racist?"
          I think the definition of racist has been defined quite nicely by innumerable people back in the 20th Century.
          "Just because some one does not like another group of people, does that make them racist?"
          No, it could also make them a homophobe and/or misogynist.
          "What a fascist you are for making us love everyone."
          Yes, because the main purpose of fascism was to get everyone to love people they hated.

          1. not that Dewey

            And that's just the zeroth-order deconstruction of Preston's mental state. The average therapist would require about eight degrees of meta-therapy in order to probe all the way down.

            Anyway, books are for jews.

          2. McDonnellville

            "I prefer to learn from experience and to hear it from those who lived it."
            I know it's just speculation on my part but I think Preston Wiginton, who has the honor of being Top Commenter, probably hasn't done either of these things.
            It's just wild speculation on my part but, as we have learned from Michael Savage, it would be irresponsible of me not to wildly speculate.

          3. not that Dewey

            Preston Wingnut's "Top Commenter" status says quite a bit about Politico's commenter ranking system. I mean, intensedebate is certainly blind to the content of our comments; a popular Breitbunatic can easily earn more p-points than we have, and you wouldn't know without context whether a particular intensedebate commenter is sane or not, judging just from the score.

            But this is Politico's own in-house commenter ranking system we're talking about. What possible criteria (other than the obvious RWNJ hackery of Politico) would land this guy at the top of the heap? Jeepers.

            btw — McDonnellville — isn't that where IKEA builds its sweatshops?

    3. Negropolis

      "Look, John, I'm not a bigot. You know the kind of books I've written about the civil rights movement in this country. But when I get on the plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in T-shirts with crying eagles and I think, you know, they are identifying themselves first and foremost as rednecks, I get worried. I get nervous."

      1. horsedreamer_1

        I had a homeschooler on my most recent flight to DC. I bit my tongue about asking if she's a birther or vaccine denialist.

    4. Doktor StrangeZoom

      James Fallows has written a nice FTFY piece based on Derbyshire: "The Talk: What Parents Tell Their Children About John Derbyshire"

      1. not that Dewey

        Very well done, Mr Fallows Fisher. Now I have about 18 other tabs open with articles I have to read.

        1. Doktor StrangeZoom

          My bad–thought that was Fallows, but it was indeed Max Fisher…oh, and goddammit, look at all the cool stuff on Fallows' actual blog…Chinese dissidents, flying cars, and several nice pieces on false equivalence (guess what! Obama didn't force Detroit to make electric cars!)

          1. not that Dewey

            Yes — the case of mistaken identity gave me twice as much reading fun yesterday; first, all the embedded links in the Fisher article, then his entire ouvre, then the follow-up to see what Fallows did write. It was a nice, lazy Easter afternoon, reading the Atlantic while a house full of little girls ran around shrieking and generally enjoying themselves.

            And then, after following up on your Al Franken thing, I found Mac McClelland's terrific I Was a Warehouse Wage Slave, which I highly recommend.

          2. Doktor StrangeZoom

            Hyperlinks are the Devil's workshop. I know better, for instance, than to ever read anything at tvtropes.org unless I am prepared for the inevitable rabbit hole. (Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!)

    5. not that Dewey

      Well, Rich Lowry may have fired "Derb", and much of the three-page list of NR writers is unfamiliar to me, but he still pays

      Charles Krauthammer
      Clifford D. May
      Daniel Pipes
      Frank J. Gaffney Jr.
      Jay Nordlinger
      Jim Geraghty
      Jonah Goldberg
      Kathryn Jean Lopez
      Larry Kudlow
      Lawrence A. Chickering
      Lee A. Casey
      Mark R. Levin
      Mark Steyn
      Mona Charen
      Victor Davis Hanson

      and even Rich Lowry, for their opinions. And he has Ralph Reed and John Yoo on retainer. I'm not sure much has changed over there.

  35. flamingpdog

    Kincade died?? Oh, man, I'm gonna miss his comments here on teh Wonkette. I mean, I didn't always agree with Chet, but RIP, dude!

    Oh, wait …

    1. Limeylizzie

      Not my secret lover ChetKincaid??? Who else can portray the gorgeous, ebony-skinned airman hiding in my hay-loft ?

      1. Chet Kincaid

        Don't fret, Baby! After we blow up the private office of the Kommandant of the Hauptwache at the Hotel Meurice on Rue de Rivoli with the last of my grenades, we'll flee Paris in the back of a camion full of legumes, breathlessly holding each other through the checkpoints. Then I'll make you a bowl of jambalaya in the barn, and later, in the loft, I'll place your slender reed between my lips and practice my embouchure.

  36. barto

    Mysteriously, however, new paintings of "his" will continue to flood the market. HOW is this POSSIBLE?!?

  37. Robman2

    Brilliance…Editrix, Art Center the Baja Brooks of Photo-tapestry, or Photo-sophistry, all Kincaid's minions are now left pondering if sometime tomorrow, his tomb, er…safe deposit box will indeed be empty, or filled once again through the coffers of empathy.

  38. LettucePrey

    What, no mention of Kinkade's 2010 DUI arrest? Or the lawsuits against his empire for defrauding his franchise stores? For shame. I expect more post-mortem muckraking from Wonketeers.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      Somebody already said he cursed at an employee who helped him when he fell off a barstool and he collected porno while calling himself born-again; I just assumed a DUI is a given.

  39. Dashboard Buddha

    Didn't you used to see his stuff at the corner gas stations…next to the velvet Elvises and dogs playing poker?

      1. Dashboard Buddha

        True…and if the DPP pictures maybe weren't as technically astute (I don't know art, so I'll have to ask for some slack here) as Kinkaid's, at least it was funny and not diabetes inducing god-bothering.

  40. BTWBFDIMHO

    He had convinced the Vatican to re-paint the ceiling of the Capella Sistina, so the Lord called him, in the name of Art.

  41. chascates

    Looking over his paintings I really appreciate Bev Doolittle more. Hell, I appreciate the illustrations that used to be in those old 'Ideal' magazines more.

    1. So Tired

      Hey, Bev Doolittle was my favorite when I discovered her in an art shop back in 1982. Loved those pintos on the snow covered mountain.

  42. comrad_darkness

    Eh, we did a jigsaw of one of his cottages as a family one holiday. The graphic worked nicely for that. I'd never heard of him until then. I move in the wrong circles I guess.

    It will be interesting if his family sells off the originals. That is considered one of the keys to his business model. The posters weren't copies in the same way because there was never an original available.

  43. Isyaignert

    My BFF has two of his paintings (she paid $$ for them) and she's willed them to me.

    1. Chichikovovich

      She has my undying respect! That's perhaps the cleverest device I've ever heard to ensure careful, attentive medical care in case of a serious accident. I assume you've taken a job with a flexible schedule just in case.

    2. Dudleydidwrong

      If she dies by falling into and through both paintings you can sort of take care of the matter and maybe the frames will be worth something.

  44. littlebigdaddy

    I was amazed to hear that he went to a reputable art school. His work screams "self-taught," but not in a good or interesting way.

  45. Texan_Bulldog

    He's definitely no Bob Ross–his trees were happy & probably a little high (and not in the tall way).

    I think of Kinkade as the redneck's version of ____ (fill in the blank with any credible artist). Kind of like TLC is to PBS as Thomas Kinkade is to Monet.

  46. Rotundo_

    It will be interesting to see how many "Hidden Masterpieces" the family and business manages to find over the next several years. My guess is that he shit out a whole bunch of these things and if not, someone out there has the talent to duplicate the "masters" eye for capturing light and shadow and perspective so well. QVC or HSN will no doubt be breathlessly announcing the finds shortly, and continuously for years to come. "Just when we thought we had found the last of Thomases works we have stumbled miraculously on another, and it can be yours for four quick pay installments…"

    1. Chichikovovich

      Yes, they just need to find a competent painter and it could be just like van Meegeren.

      Except that Vermeers are rare. And nice to look at. And van Meegren wasn't a better painter than Vermeer.

      But otherwise exactly the same.

    2. McDonnellville

      "It turns out he had produced hundreds, if not thousands, of more 'Masterpieces of Light' that are exclusively available to QVC customers. It's a testament to Kinkade's talent & legacy that you can have by going into credit card debt."

    3. BlueStateLibel

      You can find many Chinese-made replicas on ebay, typically painted by people with hilarious ideas of life in the United States.

    4. Jukesgrrl

      He trained a whole team of people to duplicate his "work." He supposedly hadn't painted an entire painting for years. So, like Celine Dion's heart, his work will go on.

  47. cheetojeebus

    just a little while from now a "Helga" book will come out, but more likely to be titled "Helmut" or " Silvio" , Secret paintings of light falling across the glistening abs of his gardener.

    1. weejee

      Chuck Grassley is to politics what Thomas da glow worm Kinkade was to art. The sickly illumination you should run from, not to.

    2. Designer_Rants

      "Bcause Am ppl r not stupid as this x prof of con law"

      He's my senator, so I'm qualified to say: Am ppl r as stupid as this corn fed govt grifter grassley.

      1. Chichikovovich

        I think he would say "Alea Jacta Est". After he crossed the Potomac to kick Grassley's ass.

    3. Negropolis

      That is so the pot calling the kettle blah.

      Grassley. Bless his stupid, little heart. He don't know no better, god bless 'im.

  48. Designer_Rants

    OT: Maybe compounded by the fact that I'm on a "Game Of Thrones" marathon right now to set the backdrop of wicked decisions made by a cruel ruler, but this strikes me as far more foreboding, because it's "real life":

    Justice Thomas’s dissents persuaded Justice Scalia to change his mind several times that year. Even in Hudson v. McMillan, the case that prompted the New York Times to infamously label Justice Thomas the “youngest, cruelest justice,” he was again, initially, the lone dissenter. Justice Scalia changed his vote after he read Justice Thomas’s dissent, which said a prison inmate beaten by guards had several options for redress—but not under the Eighth Amendment’s prohibition of “cruel and unusual punishment.”

    http://bit.ly/Hr6K0a

    1. Negropolis

      Thomas is the vilest justice on the court, bar none. Scalia cops to his rank evilness. Thomas just sits their like a silent coward as he helps in dismantling the nation in the cruelest of ways.

    1. Biff

      Same here. My ex-sister in law was talking on FB about some art she bought, and I told her not to mention that Kinkade, ever. When he tipped over, I wrote on my wall that perhaps I shouldn't have joked about his crap, and I couldn't believe the shitstorm that rained down upon me. I think I need new "friends."

    1. Wile E. Quixote

      If the Disney corporation had as finely developed a sense of irony as I do they'd have a bunch of Disney employees dressed up in costume go and piss on Thomas Kinkade's grave and announce in chorus "This one's for you Walt."

    2. mrblifil

      Kinkade himself started as a background painter for the cinema. The background art in the Winnie the Pooh shorts from the sixties towers over Kinkade's work like a 200-year old Weeping Willow towers over an ant. No wonder he felt threatened.

    3. zumpie

      I was wondering when someone would bring this up! I hadn't heard of it until the stupid Today Show reported it with the utmost solemnity. I truly thought I was watching an SNL skit.

      And then I proceeded to tell everyone I've ever met.

  49. SheriffRoscoe

    Kinkade played it safe. I like an artist with the courage and guts to always play it safe in his work. It's kind of like life: boring, predictable, and oh so pretty. That's what great art is supposed to mean you fucking elitist college-educated libtard snobs!

    – Rick Santorum

  50. ratcityrebel

    Fun fact: The buy-in ("initial investment") required to sell Kinkade's stuff was (at the time) $100,000. Lladro, which is hand-finished in Spain and doesn't resemble the aftermath of a Baskin Robbins exploding, had a buy-in of $20,000.

  51. V572 Hogan Gidley

    There are two reasons nobody looked at Kincade's paintings and said, "I could've done that."

    (1) They lacked minimal eye-hand coordination, color sense, and good taste; or
    (2) They didn't want to leave the world uglier than they found it.

    OT: Li'l Ricky's cancelled his weekend events…uh-oh! Adios, you rat bastard.

  52. Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    I will not deny that I once completed a Thomas Kinkade puzzle. It was challenging, especially in the trees… but when it was finished, it was rather attractive. A gaslight near dusk, and a pastoral thatch-roofed brick, with a cobblestone walkway that led to a stone bridge crossing a brook. It really was pretty, because I actually paused to think if the homeowner was inside, reading a copy of The Saturday Evening Post or The New Yorker, perhaps…

    First off, however, who among us doesn't romanticize a sunset already?

    I also kept my keel by saying, "he sold the rights of this piece to be reproduced as a puzzle". Mass production of art, and not in a flattering mien. To equal what he did to a perfectly good painting, I cannot wait until that MacNaughton asshole misses a fucking mortgage payment and must turn his Holy Shit™ into a puzzle.

    and I hope they leave a few pieces out of the box, when it gets packaged… like Kinkade's company did.

  53. mrblifil

    This is my favorite Rebecca post ever. If she had mentioned the untimely demise of Fabritius, who was younger than Kinkade when he died, and painted a lot fewer works, but is still remembered today, it would have been perfect.

  54. glamourdammerung

    I would think Dali would be a better choice for the "Painter of Freedumb™".

    Dali was a shameless self-promoter that was also a fascist. And at least he had talent.

  55. littlebigdaddy

    Milan Kundera defined kitsch as the "absolute denial of shit." Of course, the paradox is that the denial of shit is itself so drenched in shit that it is inseparable from shit. The little twee village where no one ever dies or has a stroke or chases some younger skirt is a deadening crapotorium. Because shit, unlike sex with which it is often compared, has no creative value. And, ultimately shit gets in by the back door. (How do you think the fucking fields got so green?). I am sick of lecturing on aesthetics and politics, as that is what I do for a fucking so-called living, but there ya go.

  56. GemlikeFlame

    I would normally join in the Kinkade bashing here (and I truly find his work as or more gawdawful than the rest of you do) but for one thing. He occupies the same position for art that blush wine does for wine. It sucks, and loudly, but it might motivate someone to think about why it sucks and what could be better, and maybe, just maybe, that would move them to a more sophisticated understanding. Of course, this is also middle America and I'm probably horribly mistaken.

    Weren't wine coolers the cause of Bristol's downfall? I may be barking up the wrong metaphorical tree.

    1. Negropolis

      I don't think that he's necessarily ridiculed for his bad art. I think it's his hubris and taking himself as a serious artist given his relative lack of talent that gets people. Plenty of people create shitty, mass-produced art…and most of them are humble and self-reflective enough to rightfully stay in the background realizing that there work is what it is.

  57. smitallica

    In tribute to the loss of this great artist, a moment of silence will be observed in every hotel lobby, dentist waiting room, and retirement home activity room in the country.

    1. Barb

      Too bad this didn't have a "The Hunger Games" twist and Chris could have filled in for his dad.

    2. proudgrampa

      I always wondered why he had bouts of depression. That would have done it.

      Too soon, Mike. Too soon.

  58. Designer_Rants

    Those of us who are chomping at the bit to nuke Iran because, oil and brown people or whatever, just elect Romney for prez. He's bestest buddies with Beebz Netz (just made that up, think it will track?). They go waaaay back, to youthful "experimentation" or something.

    Mr. Netanyahu insists that he is neutral in the presidential election, but he has at best a fraught relationship with President Obama. For years, the prime minister has skillfully mobilized many Jewish groups and Congressional Republicans to pressure the Obama administration into taking a more confrontational approach against Iran.http://nyti.ms/HsXnN2

    1. flamingpdog

      I can't get the link to work, but I read the story in the Denver Post this morning. Birds of a feather.

  59. oldedinvn

    For you people what don't not know shit about art, let me give you the basics. The two best are The Scream (my life) & Dogs playing Poker (how did he get them to pose).
    The worst & I was sure of this until I heard of this dead guy were Normal Sumthin what painted for the Saturday even pots & the gut what drawd the kids with keene eyes .
    Learn art or at least his brother simon.

  60. Barb

    Happy Easter Bitches! I'm going to go to worship at a casino for a few hours and then buy some marked down Easter candy.

    1. Chet Kincaid

      Once in the '90s, I celebrated Easter by going to brunch with my Jewish girlfriend, and then we rented "Monty Python's Life Of Brian" and watched "The Ten Commandments" with mockery in our hearts and on our tongues. I got food poisoning and hurled all night. Was probably my Preacher Dad smiting me from beyond the grave.

    2. flamingpdog

      It's too late to get marked down Easter candy here. They pull it off the shelf before Easter morning for some reason. Gotta get those garden tools up on the shelves I guess. Are you in Vegas or at you hanging at one of those Native-American joints?

      1. Barb

        Native American joint. Won $600-ish. Stopped and picked up something to grill for dinner and some Easter candy.

      2. McDonnellville

        "They pull it off the shelf before Easter morning for some reason."
        That's to save it for next Easter.

    3. LetUsBray

      I'm more interested in finding some marked-down Passover macaroons. They have coconut in them, so they're clearly good for you. At least, that's the theory I'm working with.

  61. oldedinvn

    Dear Editrix;
    Would you please send me the posts a day before you post them. This time zone crap means that before I can use 1/2 my witty comments everthing is a day old.
    If you can send them to Barb first so that she has the first comment, sad as mine will be, gimme a chance to comment within 24 hours.

    Thank you or sumthin.

    1. Veritas78

      Just like the NBA should start an auxiliary league for humans under 6 feet tall, Wonkette should host an alternate website for the time-zone deprived AND those of us with jobs that don't allow us to surf during the day.

      Or, just save up all the entries until, say, 8 p.m. and then post them all at once. What delightful chaos that could be, kinda like those Black Friday stampedes where people get killed!

    2. Barb

      The comments don't come to me first. I sit here during the day and debug software for a friend of mine and I post and then go back to work.
      Ah, fuck it! I get the comments before everyone else. I am so busted.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        Barb said Fuck on Easter and NOW my whole day is made. Yes. I have the sense of humor of an 11yo boy and I'm sheltered. Whatever. It's funny like when I saw my teacher in jeans on a zoo field-trip.

        1. Barb

          Lol, Fakakta. You bring me so much joy.
          Sarah Palin tweeted "Happy Easter" and I answered, "I am out of tampons & I'm using a marshmallow Peep" Now she's blocked me, LOL!

  62. Steverino247

    Easter's been cancelled. They found the body.

    (And yeah, the joke's as old as the short story it's based on…)

    1. flamingpdog

      Thank Darwin! Now I won't have to put up with peoplez coming up to me on the street and asking me, "Have you found Jesus?".

  63. BornInATrailer

    We should all be grateful he was a successful painter because remember that other guy..

  64. Biff

    I was given one of those Xiamen monkey paintings as a housewarming gift when I finished my house. I'd put it up against anything by Kinkade, and Xiamen monkey paintings are really terrible.

    1. flamingpdog

      I know absolutely nothing about fine art, but I know something that makes me want to vomit when I see it.

    2. McDonnellville

      These things actually exist? People actually display them? Are they the same people who find "modern art" too confusing and/or disturbing? Yet they are perfectly fine with these…um, "works of art"?
      I ask these questions seriously.

      1. Biff

        That link I posted should be taken as proof that they do indeed exist. I think most of them are purchased ironically, unlike the works of Kinkade.

        I mean come ON, who wouldn't want this oil painting of Rmoney on the wall of their bathroom/vomitorium?

          1. Doktor StrangeZoom

            Freeper response: "Yeah, but they call us 'racist' if we depict Obongo as a monkey."

          2. flamingpdog

            That's because it WOULD BE racist in their case! Stupid freepers.

            Besides, there are a lot of low, beetle-browed white people out there who look a lot more chimpish than most blah people.

          3. Doktor StrangeZoom

            I see, so, yeah, the usual double standard of the Left.

            (Nancy Reagan always looked particularly simian to me…)

    3. tessiee

      Is the monkey wearing the crown supposed to be Duhbya Bush?
      Because if not, those all suck shit in hell.

    4. tessiee

      "'I just want to be a halfway educated monkey in a suit.' So he went to Business School" — Futurama

  65. Radio福井県

    Happy Zombie Jesus Day everybody…..now back to my regularly scheduled in-laws.

  66. proudgrampa

    I never understood Kinkade's schtick. Always thought his whole body of work (if you can call it that) was schmaltz and phony.

    Anyway, Happy Bunny Day.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      Good thing I didn't eat any chocolate, I'd be throwing it up. Apparently Tebow is another one of those people who thinks what's written on the money is more important than what's written in the Constitution.

    2. George Spelvin

      "one nation under God". Tim's command of political history ranks right up there with his deep out.

      1. LetUsBray

        I realize that professional athletics in this country is a field crawling with obnoxiously stinking pious yet marginally literate individuals. So why are this particular yokel's utterances considered newsworthy?

        1. Negropolis

          Because he was the first college sophomore to win a Heisman Trophy? Because he willingly and actively let himself be used by religious whack-a-doodles who have "shoved him down our throats"?

          Timmeh Tebow, you're trying way too hard. Timmy T-boned, you're doing it wrong.

          This guy is so going to get caught in some strange sex scandal. There have always been rumors since he flaunts his virginity that he likes to PIITB with his girls, and like some GCBs, that's not considered "sex".

  67. Biff

    Had a little jackrabbit hopping around my yard earlier this morning, I'ma go looking for the eggs I know he left me.

    1. ElPinche

      You use the jackrabbit analogy for your pot dealer too! I put a torch to an egg and smoked one for zombie jesus.

  68. James Michael Curley

    Mike Wallace is dead and they let an extraterrestrial Oosthuizen play in the Masters but those southern misogyists won't let a women play.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      The winner, Watson, is a fundamentalist Christian. His wife is Jesusy in a very cult-like way. I am wondering if the fact he played all weekend in completely white clothing has something to do with the fact it's Easter. The way he wears his shirts buttoned all the way up to his chin no matter how hot it is looks creepy to me.

      1. Jukesgrrl

        BTW, he's the one who behaved in a very boorish way at the French Open, being rude to European players and criticizing French culture. When some other golfers publicly criticized him, his response was to send out the typical Republican tweet, "If I offended anyone I apologize." The big IF. Apparently, his intention was to hurry home to play with the Dukes of Hazzard car he bought at a Hollywood auction for more than $100,000, not that he can't afford it.

      2. James Michael Curley

        Wearing your 'polo' shirt buttoned all the way up is a sign of your wealth/superiority/aristocratic heritage, whatever. Really, I'm not kidding. This is a tradition almost as old as the first time Izods were accepted as golf wear. The working class wear their 'polo' and other shirts with the top button open. Having the top button closed is one of many elements of 'gentlemen's dress' which signifies the opulence of custom tailoring and proper fit.

          1. James Michael Curley

            Knowledge of the personal lives of pro golfers and the Dukes of Hazard rank high on my list of “Things Senility Will Cure.” How to tie a proper Windsor and ‘never wear a white belt’ are not.

      3. Designer_Rants

        White clothing, trimmed out with all hot-pink, including his driver. That was weird to me. And I think he grows his hair out like that to accentuate his Jeebus Crimbus complex — not cuz it's hip. Now, on Jeebus Day, he becomes Jeebus by winning a golf game. Hope he doesn't drown when he tests out his new water-walking abilities.

    2. Negropolis

      He's an ugly little bugger, ain't he? Looks like something straight out of Lord of the Rings. But, he plays good golf. There is something a little off about all of the South Africans. lol

  69. DahBoner

    Is there life after Schlock?

    Yes.

    You could order a cheap knockoff of any of Kincaid's worst paintings done in Asia, and you could even get them to add a picture of you in the painting, giving the finger or fapping.

    You're welcome in advance!

    1. flamingpdog

      I wish the Republiklans would spend less time yapping about birth control and more time on birther control.

    2. NYNYNYjr

      Obama sure is being suspicious about his birth certificate. Why doesn't he just show it to us? Then we'd stop asking.

    3. Negropolis

      I am so glad that they are still on this. Before the president put out his birth certificate, this may have been enough to win more votes than you'd lose pushing this bullshit, but now it seperates the crazy voter, from the a-political independent who is turned off by this through-the-looking-glass craziness.

      GOP, you've chased this white rabbit about as far as you're going to chase him and still have new people following you. Jus' sayin'.

  70. Barb

    I see that Spanky stopped by to look at my profile today and probably many others. He enjoys referring to the lovely Michelle Obama as the "first ho of the United States."

    1. Radio福井県

      Srsly, Barb, what is this clown's intent? A rather feeble attempt at intimidation? Boredom, stupidity or somehow trying to just annoy us? Aside from "All of them, Katie," this payaso is as worthless as a remote limp dildo without batteries.
      So how did you do at the tables?

      1. Barb

        Happy Easter, Sugar!
        I won $600.00-ish. I put it in the cookie jar for Vegas on the 26th.
        Jeff said I could use my Samsung Galaxy phone to create a wi-fi hot spot to my iPad for the drive to Vegas. I can Wonk the whole way there.

        1. HistoriCat

          "Wonk the whole way there"

          You realize they can pull you over for those sort of shenanigans, right?

          1. Barb

            No, Arizona doesn't bother white people. We could do just about anything and they will allow it.

        2. Radio福井県

          Barb, not to get too tech-knuckle here, but I have Sprint, and with a few tricks other carriers, I have dropped an app called "tether" from PdaNet onto my droid and MacBook. You can get the internetz anywhere you have phone service on your Mac or iPad. For free!! I didn't believe it at first, but I have been using it for the last year and a half. One of my greatest anti-capitalist pig-dog tricks evah. Check it out — if possible on your configuration.
          Mrs. Radio has used it continuously in the car for up to five hours on road trips.

          1. Barb

            Radio, is there something special I have to do here? If so, please e-mail em about it. Thanks!

          2. Jeffer

            Thanks Radio! I'm posting from the IPad tethered to the Android. It's not quite as fast as straight WiFi, but it will keep Barb Wonkin from ABQ to Vegas!

          3. Radio福井県

            Dag, you guys picked that up quick. Anything to keep Barb Wonkin' to Vegas. I can't wait to see the film adaptation.
            The best part about tethering is that it surely drives the telecommunicators crazy. Why get something for free when you can spend $30 a month?
            You are right in one regard though, it is a bit slower, especially with vids, but nonetheless, watching Jon Stewart clips on the highway — priceless.

          4. Barb

            Radio, when life's little quandaries get tough I just turn to Jeffery. He helped me to figure out the ingredients in honey mustard dipping sauce. Turns out that it was just honey and mustard, who knew?

    2. flamingpdog

      Aw, the poor widdle fewwow is unhappy because he can't post at teh Wonkette because we don't agwee with him.

        1. ElPinche

          Actually that's very sad since it takes quite a bit of time to do that….on a holiday even.

    3. smashedinhat

      Just remember ppl.

      “We don’t use the term ‘insane’; we prefer ‘mentaly hilarious.’

      Now, back to my Easter wine.

  71. spareme

    What was he – a modern day El Greco? You'd think he was the way everyone is crying about him dying. Funny I never heard of him. I guess I'll go rip up my Art History degree, also MFA, too.

    1. Chichikovovich

      Remember when you were deciding on your last elective, and it came down to "Linear and Color perspective in Cézanne" or "Mass Produced Dreck in Late Twentieth Century Kitsch Markets"? Well, your appreciation of visual space came at the cost of not knowing who Thomas Kinkade is.

      1. not that Dewey

        Mrs D went to an art school where "Mass Produced Dreck in Late Twentieth Century Kitsch Markets" was a requirement, not an elective. The faculty was populated with ex-Leo Burnett Art Directors, and they actively discouraged students from pursuing "fine" art in favor of the only art job that pays — advertising.

  72. flamingpdog

    Now the Neo-Nazi clowns based in the Detroit area who are patroling the streets of Sanford, FLA are a white civil rights group.

    If I had a hammer, I'd be hittin' my head in the morning … all over the land.

    1. George Spelvin

      Apparently, I cannot get out of the weekend without at least one "Oh, for fuck's sake"."

  73. Designer_Rants

    OT: [Filed under: OBAMAPORN]
    This article put a smile on my face: http://bit.ly/Ioh1Zc

    I went back to scrutinize Obama’s most direct confrontation with the masters of the universe, a CNBC town hall in September 2010 where he was challenged by Anthony Scaramucci, head of Skybridge Capital and a regular CNBC commentator. Scaramucci began by reminding Obama that they had played basketball together at Harvard, but then informed him that he and his friends in finance “have felt like a piñata. Maybe you don’t feel like you’re whacking us with a stick, but we certainly feel like we’ve been whacked with a stick.”

    Obama responded with a distinctly cool tone. “I have been amused over the last couple years [at] this sense of somehow me beating up on Wall Street. I think most folks on Main Street feel like they got beat up on. And I’ll be honest with you: There’s probably a big chunk of the country—hold on a second—there’s a big chunk of the country that thinks that I have been too soft on Wall Street. That’s probably the majority, not the minority.” Obama continued: “When I hear folks say that somehow we’re being too tough on Wall Street, but, after a huge crisis, the top twenty-five hedge fund managers took home a billion dollars in income that year. A billion. That’s the average for the top twenty-five! … It is a two-way street. If you’re making a billion a year after a very bad financial crisis where eight million people lost their jobs and small businesses can’t get loans, then I think that you shouldn’t be feeling put upon.” He then zeroed in on the resistance to closing the carried-interest loophole. “I have no problem having that argument with hedge fund managers, many of whom I know and went to school with. And I respect their business acumen. But the notion that somehow me saying, ‘Maybe you should be taxed more like your secretary when you’re pulling home a billion dollars or a hundred million dollars a year,’ I don’t think is me being extremist or me being anti-business.”

    Man, are these hundred-millionaires and billionaires a bunch of cry babies! Further, I'm wondering how some of them made so much money in finance and trading when they don't seem to understand economics and the deficit and national debt.

    1. flamingpdog

      Super-rich sociopaths have the boo-hoos. They'll stop whining when they're dangling from trees of the right height.

      1. Radio福井県

        So true, so true. From Winner-Take-All Politics by Hacker & Pierson — which I cannot recommend enough to all free thinkers and my Wonketeer friends. Obama, for all his faults, knows what the deal is. From a campaign address march 27, 2008, entitled "Renewing the American Economy." And in front of some Wall Street fat cats:

        We've lost some of that sense of shared prosperity. Now, this loss has not happened by accident. It's because of decisions made in board-rooms, on trading floors and in Washington. Under Republican and Democratic administrations, we've failed to guard against practices that all to often rewarded financial manipulation instead of productivity and sound business practice. We let the special interests put their thumbs on the economic scales….
        The American economy does not stand still and neither should the rules that govern it…Unfortunately, instead of establishing a twenty-first century regulatory framework, we simply dismantled the old one, aided by a legal but corrupt bargain in which campaign money all too often shaped policy and watered down oversight. In doing so we encouraged a winner-take-all, anything goes environment that helped foster devastating dislocations in our economy.

        1. Designer_Rants

          we've failed to guard against practices that all to often rewarded financial manipulation instead of productivity and sound business practice.

          Goldman Sach's employee of the month: The Traderbot3000, making over three hundred thousand trades per second! All based on an algorithm guaranteed to erode the value of the working class' 401(k)s.

          Traderbot, you'll always have a job here, at least until you've crushed all confidence in the soundness of the capital markets, at which point you'll be sold for scrap. Could be months, could be years, why am I talking to a robot, you don't have emotions.

    2. Negropolis

      Shorter Obama: You motherfuckers should be glad I hdidn't round your asses up and put you on trial.

      It's crazy they don't realize that the president is the only thing that stood between them and some serious jail time. They are also lucky they live in a country that worships wealth as if it were some kind of organized religion. There is almost nothing that we won't sacrifice to Mammon. Hell, we nearly sacrificed the entire country, whole-hog, to him.

      1. flamingpdog

        I bet D_R would gladly trade his/her/both prize for the 600 Ameros you lifted off our brown brothers earlier today.

    1. flamingpdog

      So, I guess we can assume that Rachel Rebecca and friends got the day off today while all of us had to come to work as usual.

      1. Barb

        Flaming, what's up with that? They left us alone and without direction. We sat here with our minds all on fire with knowledge and it was just wasted. Not one of us got to respond to a comment with "drop that cross one more time and you are out of the Easter parade."

  74. Comrade Wingtard

    I had to look him up in the Google. His paintings creep me the fuck out, what, with the bizarre and tasteless use of light along with the non-euclidean geometry. In my mind, every single one has the screaming caption, "What in God's name is going on in that house?"

    1. Barb

      Comrade, the artist was afraid of the dark. He used to come home and the lights were switched off, sniff. It's remarkably difficult to reach that switch plate and click it.

    2. Man0nTheStreet

      That's because he painted Heaven as seen through the eyes of the Damned – his own!

  75. valthemus

    You didn't win, Ms. Schoenkopf. DEATH won.

    Death.
    Always.
    Wins.

    [Cue Mozart's "Requiem Mass" or something else that's suitably apocalyptic like they play in movie trailers. That shit's cool.]

      1. tessiee

        Lux Aeterna (the Requiem for a Dream instrumental), preferably the version with Nicolas Cage going bat-shit.

  76. Fukui-sanYesOta

    Haha, I was staying RIGHT BESIDE Cal State Fullerton for the last four days. Also, I had to hear from someone who had considered "collecting" Kinkade.

    It takes a lot of willpower to stop oneself describing it as emetic-painting with an overcoat of cynical religious horseshit only present in order to build a market.

    The hummingbirds were cool.

    edit: Also, Damien Hirst is a cunt. I remember him and some other fucking dickweasel whose name I forget in fucking Quo Vadis in Soho bragging about how they'd spent a day filming their anuses and would sell stills as art.

    Fuck knows whatever happened with that. A quick google reveals nothing, luckily.

  77. Fukui-sanYesOta

    I'm kinda drunk and bored and about to go to bed, so I'll write a little disquisition about US education (science in particular) which I'd advise you all to ignore and wait for a Rick Santorum post.

    I'm sure you've all see the new commercials about how badly the US does in Mathematics and Science in a global market. Below the UK. Below Germany. Below Poland. Below fucking Hungary, and they're an ex-communist state.

    That only gives half the picture. For me, the most worrying thing about the test was that the US students scored first by a mile in confidence in their results. So you have kids who, frankly, suck fucking balls at this shit, yet they're thinking "NAILED IT!"

    As an ex-pat living as a guest in your country, I should make clear that I do love this place.

    Having said that, I think it's damaging to give kids the message that "you can do ANYTHING! You're an AMERICAN!" without inculcating that, uh, you really need to study your fucking ass off for school, or study at home in some subject that you're good at, or SOMETHING – there's no free ride for just being a mouthy cunt whose ability is to name movies.

    The American Dream is a laudable thing. Your own property and a job to support a family. The Dream has warped in the last thirty years to being "Imma gonna be a millianoirere and illa fuck you guyz!!!" Which is extremely stupid as a goal and unattainable. That's the image of being American pushed at kids.

    Now, I'm lucky enough to know a few people with a lot of money*, and they tell me it's not the money which counts. It's not even the toys that money buys, although we all have a hankering for the Ferrari or the Pebble Beach house. The people who can just buy those things say that's not important. Yes yes my skepticism is as large as yours – certainly I'm not in that league. The point I think they're trying to make is that you still have to live; whether that's looking after your kids on a day out, or travelling to Thailand and seeing what's what, it doesn't matter.

    edit here: It's important to give kids breadth of mind, which is a hard thing to do. Just shoving them at afterschool programs isn't the same as showing them Mexico or Europe. I know every parent can't do this. Even teaching about it at home would make a difference. Breadth of mind leads to thirst of mind, in my opinion.

    So, back to math and science. What damages this *is* the US zeitgeist of "you're american, therefore win". In that scenario, how could you lose? I detest that fuck Hannity with his "you live in the greatest country god ever gave the earth" bullshit because a country is made up of people. Ah, well, technically not, but each country has a feeling of what it is. Once a country gets to the point of "we're just us. fuck you." then there's no surprise when kids from other countries beat the shit out of your kids with technical ability.

    It's thirst for knowledge and innovation which makes countries great. The US is losing that. Complacency is a killer – I've seen it in the UK.

    Don't do it in the US.

    * edit 2 – "lucky" isn't the right word. I happen to know people. None of the people I know with money were born with it. *I* am lucky to be smart and well-educated. Since I know *that's* luck, I'm very happy to pay far higher taxes than we do to push other people into the bracket. People who are *born* to money often don't fucking get it, imho.

    1. Nothingisamiss

      Hey, Fukui-san…I knew something was going on with you out in the real world, but I've been unable to stay on the Wonks here for any length of time to find you. I've finally scrolled back through your comments and see that you're going through hell. I just want to add my voice to the (one assumes) chorus of "I'm sorry" and "I'm thinking about you" and "Fuck the fucking insurance companies straight to fucking hell."

      Your presence around here is welcomed, and, although I've nothing to offer in the way of material help(although if we had a Wonkette barn-raising in internet space I'd be there) I want to tell you I care, I'm thinking of you both, I'm sorry.

    2. Negropolis

      As an American, the only proper response to this is to shout yoou down with "USA, USA" until you are dragged away in shame or leave of your own volition.

      But, to be more serious, no amount of logic will ever defeat the idea of "American Exceptionalism." We are going to have to learn the hard way what this really means before we give up this ghost; we're forcibly going to have to be laid low to let go of the hubris we've built up around this national religion. It's going to be hard to shake something that came over on the Mayflower. You know, they brought over smallpox and "divine providence"…and one of these still hasn't been cured.

    3. Doktor StrangeZoom

      It also doesn't help that a large portion of the population is explicitly anti-science. Creationists are bad enough; they've made teaching biology in public schools difficult in plenty of places. And then there's the spillover–with a substantial number of people convinced that an entire field of science is built on an atheist plot to undermine God, it's comparatively easy to slide over into thinking that climate change is also an international plot to take away our SUVS and liberty.

      But we feel really good about ourselves.

    4. weejee

      So Fukui-san yer sayin' that if Heisenberg had been born an American he would not have been able to conger-up his Uncertainty Principle?

  78. James Michael Curley

    So after this long weekend when some of us consumed fish and some of us consumed chopped liver and some of us wore ridiculous, over priced hats, we must bow our heads and thank Ms. Schoenkoff not just for her festive post of intellectual liberation but for her early stand against one of the talking point atrocities foisted by those who wish us to be sanguine with propelling even more than our meager bowl scrapings of rational sustenance to those of bloated visage and fetid morals whose only guiding principal is More, More, More; Andrea True notwithstanding.

  79. larrykat

    What is most depressing about Kinkade's art to me is that it represents millions and millions of mouth-breathers who think it is the highest form of art possible – and they can vote and procreate, probably.

  80. notgross

    I've always hoped for an editrix to come over and "correct my grammar". Something, something dangling participle.

  81. anniegetyerfun

    Dead of "natural causes" at age 54? Oh, lordy, there are so many possiblities here. I'm assuming a meth-fueled rentboy orgy with lots of auto-erotic asphyxiation is considered "natural"? I mean, in California. (Miss you, CA!)

    1. Man0nTheStreet

      As long as the librul press doesn't revel that he choked to death on a gerbil, his future marketability is as safe as empty foreclosed-open houses.

Comments are closed.