George W. Bush Wishes Bush Tax Cuts Were Named After His Father, Not Him

  basic illiteracy

bad pennyFormer President and world-wide champion rodeo clown George W. Bush said Tuesday he wishes his name weren’t so firmly attached to one of his administration’s signature pieces of legislation known as the “Bush Tax Cuts.” He recently made his feelings known at the New York Historical Society. But why is the former president having such a change of heart about his name on the cuts? Has he realized the damage the cuts have done to the middle class? Has been made aware that they favor the rich? Is he embarrassed at his hindsight review of his eight years? No, it is because nobody likes him and this makes him feel sorry for himself.

“I wish they weren’t called the Bush tax cuts. If they were called someone else’s tax cuts, they’d be less likely to be raised.”

Bush also stated, “If you raise taxes on these so-called rich, you’re really raising taxes on the job creators,” because that is a thing that all Republicans are now contractually obligated to repeat. Bush made sense once it was realized he was referring to the ‘so-called rich’ and not the ‘totally for sure rich.’ Due to a slight oversight, against the Republicans’ wishes, even the ‘totally for sure rich’ get to enjoy piggy-backing off of the hard working, down-to-earth ‘so-called rich.’ Bush wrapped up his ‘Can you believe people still listen to my shit?’ tour by saying, “And if the goal is to create private sector growth, you have to recognize that the best way is to leave capital in the treasuries of the job creators.” Most sane people think Bush is as transparent as the nightgown he got Jeff Gannon for Christmas.

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Bush wasn’t entirely full of shit. He did also mention that, “I don’t believe it’s in the interest of our country to undermine our president and I don’t intend to do so,” which was a nice gesture while he was in New York speaking out against all of Obama’s economic policies. So, yes actually he was totally full of shit. Bush clearly disagrees with Obama proposals to allow the tax cuts to expire on households earning more than $250,000. Our current president wishes to enact the Buffett rule, which would require wealthy people like Warren Buffett to pay a higher percentage of their income in federal taxes than middle-class households because class warfare. Bush was heavily in favor of this until someone told him it was not about cutting in line at a buffet. Now, Bush claims he doesn’t care who cuts in line.

President Obama will be speaking about the ‘Buffet Rule’ in Florida, where the majority of people believe it is indeed rude to cut in line at a buffet but they totally do it anyway because they are outlaws. Mr. Obama’s biggest challenge in Florida will be clarifying the difference between Warren Buffett, Jimmy Buffett and an all you can eat buffet. Some people have claimed to have seen Jimmy Buffett cut in line at a buffet which has caused a great deal of confusion requiring government intervention in the form of a visit from Obama himself.

Citizen Bush is coming out with a book on economics (by his “institute”) in the near future. It has contributions from 21 economists, five Nobel Prize winners and a cookie. Mr. Bush commented, “It’s got to be a staggering thing for some of the cynics. I publish a book, and now the Bush Institute is publishing a book. They didn’t think I could read, much less write a book,” hahahaha this guy with the funny, but yes he is right. We are still sure he cannot read, and that is not funny, it is sad. [CNN]

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About the author

Erik Jay is currently unemployed, but has a history of managing various motels and quitting customer service jobs on day 1. He still feels accomplished graduating from a continuation high school in 1989.

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127 comments

  1. nounverb911

    And I wish the Milosevic suite in the Hague was named after you and not after Milosevic.

  2. freakishlywrong

    No thrown shoes? No arrest for war crimes? Like we need this fucking asshole to lecture us about his, and our, failed decade. For fuck's sake. Go Away.

  3. OneDollarJuana

    W is like this cyst I have. It's been removed more than once, but it still keeps coming back. I can tell when it's back because it hurts and it stinks.

  4. Barb

    I'm glad he left the White House with his head held high. Makes it an easier target for thrown shoes.

    1. GOPCrusher

      It was somewhat apropos that the only people that showed up to see the Bush's off on their last flight from Washington was Dick and Lynne Cheney. Nobody else gave a rat's ass.

  5. Callyson

    Citizen Bush is coming out with a book on economics

    Oh good–I'll need a good laugh once Campaign 2012 is (finally) over.

  6. Callyson

    Oh, and if you go to the CNN link, right below W's rant about how "And if the goal is to create private sector growth, you have to recognize that the best way is to leave capital in the treasuries of the job creators.” there is a link to another article:

    Millionaires who owe no federal income tax
    http://money.cnn.com/2011/05/09/pf/taxes/milliona

  7. hagajim

    So, yes actually he was totally full of shit I believe Shrub has been full of shit since day one – so this is not news. What is news is that this dillhole, worst ever Preznit thinks anyone will take anything his dungness says about economics seriously….Jeebus!

  8. Fare la Volpe

    Bush is coming out with a book on economics

    But they already wrote The Hunger Games!

    But they already wrote The Iron Heel!

    But they already wrote A Modest Proposal!

  9. i_AM_ready

    I can't believe W actually has a tiny speck of self-awareness, enough to realize how unpopular he is.
    Maybe he watched some of the 37 Republican debates and noticed that everyone mentioned St. Ronnie constantly, and not a single one of the candidates, even the really crazy ones, EVER mentioned George W. Bush.

    1. GOPCrusher

      I give him credit for knowing enough to stay down. It's too bad Dick Cheney and his demon spawn Liz, don't have that level of self-awareness.

  10. Gratuitous World

    Could be worse. Should be called The Bush Cold Sore, apparently neverending disease that flares up during disingeneous budget/deficit discussions. Cosmetically glossed over by conservative "thinkers." Contagious + most likely passed on through Patient 0, Grover Norquist – the anti-Valtrex.

  11. MissTaken

    “It’s got to be a staggering thing for some of the cynics. I publish a book, and now the Bush Institute is publishing a book. They didn’t think I could read, much less write a book,”

    Notice he didn't say he wrote the book. I'm still not convinced he can read, much less write a book.

    1. SorosBot

      And I'm sure he got to publish his book fair and square, without any advantages from nepotism – just like his admissions to Yale and Harvard, his purchase of the Rangers, his election as Governor, his selection by the Supreme Court justices his daddy had appointed..

    2. Mumbletypeg

      It's weird. I have little personal-habit background info on the man, other than for some reason I recall he loved to exercise & frequently took time to cycle during his term[s].
      But checking the wiki just now, one listing insists he read voraciously. Even if the linked author is overstating the claimed "186 books" he read in his last 3 years — all other things aside, this might be the one claim which if true I'd be happy to give him benefit of the doubt. I've met other speed readers who devoured much but retained little; and others whose decision-making prowess remained spurious. If the most Dubya can take away from his marathon book-binge is quantity, no matter if he still spits verbal drool to make any former-librarian wife cringe, that's a part of the puzzlement of his persona I can live with.

  12. DaRooster

    Uh… hey Dub… they are the rich… not the so-called rich.

    And even the last runners on the (R) side dropped the whole Job Creators thing about 3 months ago. I think they realized that those people are not creating jobs. Dumb Ass.

    1. GOPCrusher

      It's hard to explain to the unemployed why the job creators aren't actually creating jobs.

    2. SoBeach

      Well…

      They realized even the mush head primary voters weren't buying the "job creators" bullshit any more. That's the only reason they stopped selling it. Not because they stopped believing it themselves. They never believed it in the first place.

  13. James Michael Curley

    Let's not beat around the Bush and call just it a revenue enhancement program for job creation. Better yet, let's beat around the Bush.

  14. SorosBot

    “And if the goal is to create private sector growth, you have to recognize that the best way is to leave capital in the treasuries of the job creators.”

    No it isn't. If the capital is just sitting in their treasuries, as too much of it is now, then it's going to do jack shit for growth. The richie riches need to actually get on spending that money they accumulated off of other people's labor to create growth. That's why tax cuts for the wealthy don't help economic growth one bit; they just sit on it or invest it instead of spending it like us poors and middle class do.

    1. actor212

      Eight years of Bush tax cuts: 2.3 million jobs (6 million if you count Obama's extension)

      Eight years of Clinton's higher tax rates on the rich: 23 million.

      You can do the mathematics.

      1. Negropolis

        This is why we need to legalize and tax coke and supermodel orgies. Ferraris are already taxed, so we don't have to worry about that.

  15. actor212

    So basically he's admitting they were a bad idea, badly timed and horribly executed and he wishes he hadn't passed them in the first place.

    Way to be prescient, shithead!

  16. freakishlywrong

    Most sane people think Bush is as transparent as the nightgown he got Jeff Gannon for Christmas.
    That is a sweet, sweet mothafucking line.

  17. Lucidamente1

    I know we're not supposed to pick on the mentally challenged, but this guy is a retard for the ages.

  18. Lucidamente1

    Nice to see Will Ferrell trying out new material for "You're Welcome, America, Part 2"

  19. Oblios_Cap

    George W. Bush Wishes Bush Tax Cuts Were Named After His Father, Not Him

    I thought they were. I figured they would called "The Dumbass Tax Cuts" if they named after Junior.

  20. Goonemeritus

    If they named a night at the hellfire club with a young Diana Rigg after Bush I would be dead set against that too.

    1. Steverino247

      Before there was internet porn…

      There was Diana Rigg as Emma Peel on an old B&W TV in my bedroom.

  21. chascates

    Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld are all wealthy and are definitely job creators. Funeral directors, prosthetic technicians, and PTSD counselors.

  22. Baconzgood

    How come when I hear about Dubya doing a book on economics I think of the time that Aerosmith did an Anti-Drug add in the late 80's?

  23. Mahousu

    Is it rude to point out that the tax-cuts-formerly-known-as-Bush were never repealed, and yet during much of that time the "job creators" were actually cutting jobs rather than creating them?

    1. James Michael Curley

      On C-Span but I can't do that at work because the internet connection is so lame.

        1. James Michael Curley

          Ms. Curley will be jubilant. She lived a few years under this dreck as her Congressman. I’ll have to get out the cardio monitor.

  24. widestanceromance

    But, the Bush Wars (and the resultant deaths), the Bush Doctrine, and the Bush Debt, he's cool with. This man was a president not once, but twice. Shudder.

  25. fartknocker

    His tax cuts cost more than the stimulus money that the banks are currently sitting. This goat fuck destroys the balanced budget given to him by Clinton, runs up a massive debt, and sends Americans to an unjustified war. Now he wants to school us on economics?

    W, Rick Perry just called. He would like for you and Laura to join him and Anita and spend a long weekend at Niggerhead. You should do it, it's very relaxing and you can enjoy a special reading of "My Pet Goat" by your butt buddy K. Rove.

  26. BaldarTFlagass

    Kinda OT, but the JAG gave us a training session on Ethics today, telling us about how we weren't supposed to take gratuities from contractors and stuff. I was all like, "You mean we have to provide our own hookers and blow?!?! It's an outrage!! This would have never happened when George Bush was in charge!"

  27. JustPixelz

    "If you raise taxes on these so-called rich, you’re really raising taxes on the job creators."

    First off, they aren't the "so-called rich". They are the actual rich. Second, the real job creators are the people who buy things. In economics it's called "demand". If you want to be a job creator, go buy something.

  28. barto

    I heard he did a passable job of reading "The Pet Goat", only pausing here and there to ask the secret service guy what some words were. But it's been a dozen years, certainly he's up to third or fourth grade level by now. Good enough for a right wing word salad and cliches book on "economics".

  29. JustPixelz

    Hooray! It's rename things day.

    "9/11" is "Bush's Failure"
    "War on Terror" is now "Bush's Fuckup"
    "Katrina" is now "Bush's Apathy"
    "2008 economic collapse" is "Bush's Fault"
    "Unemployment" is "Bush's Legacy"

  30. mrblifil

    One thing I'll say about Obama's people. They figured out a way to neuter this shit head but good. He's always VERY circumspect when talking about Obama, and I imagine it's because there are some aspects to his time in office he'd rather not have the current occupant air during a SOTU address.

  31. V572 Fehrnstrom

    When you eat at the buffet [i.e., cafeteria] in Florida, be sure to leave a dime on your tray for the colored man who carries it to your table for you.

    This is the Buffet Rule, isn't it?

    Oh, and be sure to try some of those carrots with Kraft Miniature Marshmallows©.

    1. Limeylizzie

      Your bf Ricky Santorum is suspending his campaign, can you now get rid of that hideous avatar??

  32. V572 Fehrnstrom

    When you eat at the buffet in Florida, be sure to leave a dime on your tray for the colored man who carries it to your table for you.

  33. SayItWithWookies

    So what Dubya's saying is that his original tax cuts helped in some way? How does he figure that? And if they helped the economy, then what exactly was it that caused the recession? The fucker doesn't have any idea — just like he has no idea what made the Iraq war go so horribly awry, or why Afghanistan turned into a decade-plus quagmire, or why the balance between the rich and the poor got so much bigger or why cutting regulations caused so much havoc in our food, energy and industry sectors, or why playing air guitar in California instead of mobilizing emergency response forces caused New Orleans to drown during Katrina.

    President Dumbass — to many he may be the destructive tax cut president, but to me he'll always be the New Orlenians drowned in their attics president — while he's on videotape saying we're prepared. There's not a jail cell stinky or deep enough underground for that fucker — although I'm thrilled he's chosen this particular moment to become visible again.

    1. LetUsBray

      Hell, the sack of crap has no idea why the Iraqi people aren't fucking grateful to him. Fuck that guy.

  34. owhatever

    The old job creators dodge. When the current Republican candidate says he enjoys firing people. It makes my head hurt.

  35. ottercliff

    If it were someone else's tax cuts, maybe said "someone" would have taken a few minutes to thing through the ramifications (for example: then we won't have enough $$ left for me to be "The War President").

  36. Not_So_Much

    Let's just call them 'Fuckface'. Though, I guess that's technically still named after him.

  37. DahBoner

    Hey W!

    What's the difference between a REPUBLICAN president and a DEMOCRATIC president?

    A Republican STARTS wars and a Democrat ENDS 'em…

  38. Negropolis

    Can you guys believe this man was our president for eight years? Well, actually, Cheney was president, but this guy was nominally president, so…meh.

    Dubya talking about economics is like Kim Kardashian talking about, well, almost anything. It just doesn't make sense.

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