WE PREFER 'PRE-WOMYN'  8:40 pm April 6, 2012

Wasilla Idiot Holding Up ‘Year Of The Girl’ Proclamation: Girl Scouts Equal Abortion

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Have they had their mandatory abortions?Let this delightful tale to see you through your cold and lonely Passover. In Alaska, some senator (not Murkowski) wanted a proclamation from the state of a ‘year of the girl,’ that would also honor the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts. The senator asked her student intern to present the measure.

Then came Rep. Wes Keller, the conservative Wasilla Republican filling in as chair of the committee. He had seen something on the Internet about the Girl Scouts, he said, and suddenly [student intern Katya] Wassillie found herself in the crossfire of the culture wars.

“I’m sure you are aware of the information that’s floating around the Internet, and I’d like to give you the opportunity to respond to your connection, the Girl Scout connection, with Planned Parenthood and the activist role in that — is there a connection? Is there not? Frankly, I haven’t looked into it but I see it’s out there. I just wondered if you want to make a statement on that,” Keller said.

Then some dick Wasilla Rep. put the kibosh on it because he had seen some shit on Teh Internetz that the Girl Scouts = Planned Parenthood = slutbortions. And so now the measure has been delayed until all his embarrassed colleagues beat him into submission/releasing it from committee.

Later, Rep. Paul Seaton, the Homer Republican on the State Affairs Committee who’s wife is the southern Kenai Girl Scout official, described Keller’s remarks as “unusual.”

“Everybody else appeared to be taken aback by the statement and holding the bill,” Seaton said. “I’ve never seen Girl Scouts on the Kenai Peninsula attached to other groups such as that. I’ve seen a lot of camp-outs, I’ve seen a lot of cookie sales and I’ve seen a lot of challenging hikes and trips across the bay and in the reservoir, kayaking, and learning the canoe and water safety. I’m sure they promote good healthy lifestyles for kids too. That’s what we need for all our kids.”

‘Leetist. [AnchorageDailyNews]

 

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{ 156 comments }

nounverb911 April 6, 2012 at 8:43 pm

I nominate Bristol as "Girl of the Century" for her brave entry into the Trial Marriage from which she will be soon divorced.

Antispandex April 6, 2012 at 8:46 pm

"…is there a connection? Is there not? Frankly, I haven’t looked into it but I see it’s out there. I just wondered if you want to make a statement on that,”

"Yes, I would like to make a statement. Fuck You! OH, wait, you meant about the non-question, about the non-problem, that you admit you know nothing about? Sure, Fuck You".

FraAnima April 6, 2012 at 9:08 pm

If I could upfist you multple times for that comment, I would.

Callyson April 6, 2012 at 9:13 pm

"I'm sorry, I am unable to provide the response that would be appropriate for your comment–I just relieved myself in the bathroom before coming here to testify."

C_R_Eature April 6, 2012 at 9:18 pm

We'd accept "Go Fuck Yourself" also, thanks.

Spurning Beer April 6, 2012 at 8:47 pm

I read on the internet that the Girl Scouts give out merit badges for cunnilingus.

Schmannnity April 6, 2012 at 8:50 pm

To Boy Scouts you mean.

Lucidamente1 April 6, 2012 at 8:53 pm

That's how a Cub Scout becomes a Boy Scout: when he eats his first Brownie. (I know, ewww.)

phlox✔ April 6, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Don't forget the Webelos. You won't believe what they have to do…

Jukesgrrl April 6, 2012 at 11:08 pm

… take care of the jars of fetuses.

Native_of_SL_UT April 7, 2012 at 1:26 am

I think I actually saw that on YouPorn.com

Sue4466 April 6, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Irony: if this guy had been a Girl Scout he wouldn't be this fucking stupid.

nounverb911 April 6, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Speaking of Passover, does Bristol's new temporary husband know where to "hide the Afikoman"?

BigSkullF*ckingDog April 6, 2012 at 8:49 pm

I got my abortion merit badge when I was just a brownie. Ah, those were the days.

Sue4466 April 6, 2012 at 8:49 pm

"I saw some shit on the internets, didn't read it or nuthing. Now you gotta prove to me it's not true. GO!"

Jukesgrrl April 6, 2012 at 11:29 pm

Every bit of the "shit on the internets" on this subject can be traced back to ONE hallucinating fundamentalist Christian woman in suburban Phoenix who blogs about all the ways Girl Scouts are baby-killing, anti-American lesbian Wiccans. Her crusade has now been co-opted by the conservative cafemom.com, that group that claims to represent more than a million moms, when their Facebook page only has 50,000 likes.

BerkeleyBear April 6, 2012 at 11:52 pm

The fact it has 50000 is scary enough. Even if it is just the same nutjob trying to use multiple IP addresses.

Clancy_Pants April 8, 2012 at 10:28 am

Did that same nutjob stuff the ballot box for the Maddow-Scalia-Alien art contest?

HippieEsq April 7, 2012 at 2:24 am

This actually makes him slightly better than the rest of the right wing nut sacks. The usual version is "you can't prove to me it's wrong". it's the "year of reason" in Alaska!

Biff April 7, 2012 at 11:05 am

Downright reasonable in comparison!

Swampgas_Man April 7, 2012 at 11:08 am

Hell, I'm just surprised and grateful that every other Repub didn't jump on the bandwagon w/ this dork. "Hey, what a brilliant way to get nothing done AND git mentioned on the news!"

HippieEsq April 7, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Let's see how this one plays out. You just might have laid out the winningest (but still big epic fail) of all the GOP's 2012 strategies.

pinkocommi April 6, 2012 at 8:49 pm

The Girl Scouts are the cleverest child-labor-ring-made-socially-acceptable in history. But somebody pass me another Thin Mint because they are delicious.

Antispandex April 6, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Do-Si-Dos lible!

BigSkullF*ckingDog April 6, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Now we know what makes those samoas so delicious. Fetus!

Crank_Tango April 6, 2012 at 8:58 pm

samoan fetuses…the best kind.

FraAnima April 6, 2012 at 9:12 pm

I prefer the Thin Fetus Mints, I could eat boxes of those things! (Which I do, since my daughter deals them.)

Designer_Rants April 6, 2012 at 9:45 pm

I eat the Sam's Club knockoffs; Soylent Somoans (NOW with Real Samoans).

Schmannnity April 6, 2012 at 8:51 pm

You'd think that a village as small as Wasilla would only have one village idiot.

miss_grundy April 6, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Perhaps there is something in the water? Or perhaps the air??????? Or they are all suffering from cooties inflicted by Lou Sarah???????

BerkeleyBear April 6, 2012 at 11:53 pm

I think the problem is, they were the designated Village of Idiots, so now no one can figure out who is the stupidest.

tessiee April 7, 2012 at 12:18 am

I'm not sure it has one person who *isn't* an idiot.

Biff April 7, 2012 at 11:12 am

Normally they take turns, this is what happens when someone won't relinquish the throne.

DemmeFatale April 7, 2012 at 11:47 am

I know, right?
When I saw the headline about an idiot from Wasilla, I assumed it was about Snowbilly Grifter.
(What's in the water in that town?!)

chascates April 6, 2012 at 8:52 pm

I’m sure you are aware of the information that’s floating around the Internet, about everyone in Wasilla, Alaska being as stupid as a box of rocks? Is that right? Frankly, I haven’t looked into it but I see it’s out there. I just wondered if you want to make a statement on that.

Boojum April 6, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Derp.

LetUsBray April 6, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Maybe they elected Dumbelina to be their mayor because, compared to them, she's smart?

Chet Kincaid April 6, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Brain freeze.

Spurning Beer April 6, 2012 at 8:53 pm

How is this Wasilla idiot different from all other Wasilla idiots?

nounverb911 April 6, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Are you the youngest here? The youngest asks the four questions at the Seder.

Spurning Beer April 6, 2012 at 8:59 pm

As far as I know, yes. Everyone else is over 60, right?

nounverb911 April 6, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Just barely.

Designer_Rants April 6, 2012 at 9:43 pm

So. You must be the other person on the internet who's not a 57 year-old man.

Spurning Beer April 6, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Yes, I am a 14-year old girl posing as a 59-year old man.

George Spelvin April 7, 2012 at 4:12 am

Pesach libel.

Puffperney April 7, 2012 at 8:42 pm

She's rich.

BigSkullF*ckingDog April 6, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Those campfire bitches, they were the real sluts!

Lucidamente1 April 6, 2012 at 8:54 pm

They help old ladies cross the street . . . TO THE ABORTIONPLEX.

Crank_Tango April 6, 2012 at 8:58 pm

I am getting my gramma an abortion for her birthday, then it's off to the death panel.

Designer_Rants April 6, 2012 at 9:40 pm

LOL!
Edit: I came back to add: LOL!

trampndirtdown April 6, 2012 at 10:11 pm

NO HANDOUTS1111!! let her pay for her own healthcare hippie.

Lazy Media April 6, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Girl Scouts wear berets, just like Che and Patty Hearst. QED, Girl Scouts are Communist revolutionary murderers. That's just science.

Crank_Tango April 6, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Science is also bad.

extreme_left April 6, 2012 at 9:56 pm

..plus their shade of green is suspiciously close to a nazi uniform of yore, therefore by this thing you call science, they are the most heinous and feared of all, nazi-communists!

Barb April 6, 2012 at 8:56 pm

People of Wasilla! Jesus is not glad he died for you.

nounverb911 April 6, 2012 at 9:03 pm

How about Breitbart?

Fare la Volpe April 6, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Jesus was pretty glad that asshole died.

Biff April 7, 2012 at 11:14 am

Stick around, he'll be right back.

Crank_Tango April 6, 2012 at 8:57 pm

When are we going to realize that all women and girls are sluts and are to be avoided?

WAKE UP SHEEPLE, also.

Boojum April 6, 2012 at 9:22 pm

When sheep learn to cook and clean.

Guppy April 6, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Sluts are to be avoided? Does not compute!

An_Outhouse April 7, 2012 at 8:38 pm

girl scouts = lesbians = three ways. So there's that.

Chill-A-Sketch April 6, 2012 at 8:57 pm

There is also another Internet "rumor" floating around…

Wasilla Republicans = Meth Labs = Unplanned Parenthood = Government Handouts.

OkieDokieDog April 6, 2012 at 8:59 pm

All Rep. Wes Keller proved is that he is too stupid for the internetz. Still smart enough to represent Wasilly though.

Barb April 6, 2012 at 8:59 pm

By the way, the Boy Scout recently turned 100 years-old. Funny, they look like 10 year-olds to me.

BerkeleyBear April 6, 2012 at 11:57 pm

11, Barb, 11. And founded by a "confirmed bachelor" no less. Who liked to have boys over to his estate for manly play time. And wear silly uniforms whether he was officially in the military or not.

That's right – Michael Jackson founded Scouting.

tessiee April 7, 2012 at 12:23 am

Also, the original handbook was entitled, "Scouting for Boys".

George Spelvin April 7, 2012 at 4:14 am

ooh, that's good.

Barb April 6, 2012 at 9:01 pm

A thought just came to me. I swear, I am sorry if someone else posted this already.

It's not like a Girl Scout is having an abortion in as much in that she is "deleting her cookies."

Upon further review, that's dumb. No one probably said that one before, lol.

Boojum April 6, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Scraping her Samoas?

Steverino247 April 7, 2012 at 2:19 am

Well, since you had your "Cookie Jar" removed recently…

gurukalehuru April 7, 2012 at 6:26 am

No, Barb, actually that was pretty good. I give you a 7. Maybe a 7.5.

Barb April 7, 2012 at 11:21 am

Good morning and thank you, Guru! I hope that was a 7.5 out of 10 and not 100.

Negropolis April 7, 2012 at 10:42 pm

The Russian judge (whom Sarah Palin insists she can see from her front porch), however, only awarded Barb a 5.

Callyson April 6, 2012 at 9:06 pm

“I’m sure you are aware of the information that’s floating around the Internet, and I’d like to give you the opportunity to respond to your connection, the Wes Keller connection, with Utter Stupidity and the sensationalist role in that — is there a connection? Is there not? Frankly, I haven’t looked into it but I see it’s out there. I just wondered if you want to make a statement on that”

Yes, Senator, there is a connection among the elements you mention. One that is unlikely to be cured…

Moran.

FraAnima April 6, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Thanks for harshing my post-seder buzz, Rebecca.

Spurning Beer April 6, 2012 at 10:14 pm

If Girl Scouts participated in lesbian covens, but a Wasilla representative did not accuse them, that would be enough for us.

Dayenu!

user-of-owls April 6, 2012 at 10:26 pm

If Girl Scouts participated in lesbian covens, but a Wasilla representative did not accuse them

For a second there I thought you were going with a "tree falls in the forest" motif there. I was really wondering how that was going to end!

Maybe, "would they still be lesbian witches"?

not that Dewey April 6, 2012 at 10:55 pm

I think you misunderstand what "lesbian covens" means. There aren't three balls in the forest.

user-of-owls April 6, 2012 at 11:30 pm

So you're telling me that lesbian covens are what they bake queer cookies in?

johnnyzhivago April 6, 2012 at 9:10 pm

I'm glad the paramilitary "Girl Scouts" and their dirty "cookies for weapons" scheme is finally exposed.

Callyson April 6, 2012 at 9:12 pm

"…is there a connection? Is there not? Frankly, I haven’t looked into it but I see it’s out there. I just wondered if you want to make a statement on that”

"You just wondered whether I would care to provide the evidence to support the assertion that you are making, because you have no proof at all of this ridiculous accusation? Yeah, I've got a statement–kiss my ass, you idiot."

Fare la Volpe April 6, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Why do I torture myself by reading the comments on these podunk local news sites?

Whyyyyyyy?

el_donaldo April 6, 2012 at 9:18 pm

There's a lot of "information" on the Internet. How do you know what to believe? Well if you're inspired to act like a total dick to some young kid, you're probably ahold of some crap information.

Swampgas_Man April 7, 2012 at 11:11 am

This is why the only internet "information" I rely on concerns wimmen's bodybuilding.

C_R_Eature April 6, 2012 at 9:20 pm

I did a small amount of Web-Based research and what I found is Disturbing. Everyone in Wasilla has Hookworm.

Representative Keller, would you like to make a statement on that?

Fred_Wertham_Jr April 6, 2012 at 9:25 pm

I read on the internet that Wes Keller fucks dead goats and I haven't seen anything that says he doesn't.

Designer_Rants April 6, 2012 at 9:33 pm

He has yet to prove it. Why won't he just prove that he doesn't fuck goats?

Callyson April 6, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Show us the un – fucked goats!

Fred_Wertham_Jr April 6, 2012 at 9:50 pm

I'm going to start randomly yelling that at people.

tessiee April 7, 2012 at 12:31 am

it really IS a great day in South Carolina!

starfanglednut April 7, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Long form!

OldWhiteLies April 9, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Erm … how exactly does one confirm the, umm, un-fucked-ness of said goats?

Fare la Volpe April 6, 2012 at 9:57 pm

It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

gurukalehuru April 7, 2012 at 6:28 am

I read that, too! (just now)

Fred_Wertham_Jr April 7, 2012 at 5:15 pm

I saw people discussing it on the internet. There must be something to it.

owhatever April 6, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Little known fact: The name Wes Keller, hooked together is "weskeller," is the Igloo word for "dumb as a fucking walrus." Some Iglootionites fall over in laughter and roll around the snow because "Wasilla" means "dumber than a weskeller."

Designer_Rants April 6, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Repuplicrat War On Women lost its luster? How 'bout a War On Girls?

Slim_Pickins April 6, 2012 at 9:35 pm

If voters need a special ID to vote, state legislators should be required to pass a reading comprehension test administered by a third grade teacher. Its only fair.

Designer_Rants April 6, 2012 at 9:36 pm
Barrelhse April 6, 2012 at 9:39 pm

That cocksucker probably doesn't even like Thin Mints.

trampndirtdown April 6, 2012 at 9:41 pm

I'm sorry sir we're all out of Thin Mints. Can I offer you a nice bag of Rat Dicks?

Veritas78 April 7, 2012 at 8:47 am

Do they come lightly salted? I'm watching my blood pressure.

trampndirtdown April 7, 2012 at 10:18 am

Try the new Jalepeno or Cool Ranch flavors.

rocktonsam April 6, 2012 at 9:44 pm

oh shit dude, a story from Wasilla and no mention of a Palin.

this doesn't end well for somebody

extreme_left April 6, 2012 at 10:00 pm

hey no fair I was expecting a picture of a hot, friendly lady.

Preacher_Griz April 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm

It is a KNOW FACT that they initiate these girls into their cult by forcing them to swear a menstrual blood oath before the girl scout symbol. Then they indoctrinate them in baby murder to such a degree that you would not be wrong to call a girl scout a abortion hobbyist.

Designer_Rants April 6, 2012 at 10:05 pm

"abortion hobbyist"? I wondered what that kit was for at the Hobby Lobby.

tessiee April 7, 2012 at 12:32 am

Whattya think the merit badge with the coathanger on it is for?

mrblifil April 6, 2012 at 10:07 pm

I think what he was really saying was: "I've got plenty of child pornography on my computer hard drive and it's lucky the guy who wrote down all my passwords for me on Post-it Notes hasn't encountered it yet!"

ttommyunger April 6, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Just think, before the internetz only a very few people would have know this person was a total fucking moran.

Isyaignert April 7, 2012 at 1:21 am

Luv them thair internets.

ttommyunger April 7, 2012 at 8:54 am

Wunderful sereis of toobs!

Biff April 7, 2012 at 11:27 am

Fitting that it was an Alaskan that gave us that meme. Also.

ttommyunger April 7, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Surprise, surprise. I'm sure he and Breitfart are comparing notes as we speak.

attilatheblond April 8, 2012 at 10:08 am

Is there any evidence, on the interweb tubes, that he is fucking anyone? Well, other than, metaphorically, the people of Alaska/

LettucePrey April 6, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Ummm…

Later, Rep. Paul Seaton, the Homer Republican on the State Affairs Committee who's wife is the southern Kenai Girl Scout official, described Keller's remarks as "unusual."

Do they not have editors in Alaska? Did this third-grade fucking typo really appear in their paper?

Sorry to be a Friday night pedant, but for caribou's sake, is our children learning?

littlebigdaddy April 7, 2012 at 12:09 am

Our children is only learning from the porn they are able to download.

Isyaignert April 7, 2012 at 1:23 am

Yea LettucePrey!! I am cursed with seeing typos (except my own) and feel the need to run around with White-Out and a black Sharpie to correct the errors that are every'effin'where, especially where the poor, abused apostrophe is concerned.

Negropolis April 6, 2012 at 10:58 pm

He had seen something on the Internet …

Isn't that where you just kind of stop reading? If you ever hear a sentence start like this in our new millennium, you know where it's going to go, already. The "I saw something on the internet…" is the "God told me…" of the 21st century.

File this one under: 'Cause it'd be irresponsible not to speculate.

Redhead April 7, 2012 at 8:49 am

Either that or it's going to be a description of some porn act involving donkeys/scat/etc which you cannot hear while at work or in polite company.

notgross April 7, 2012 at 8:56 am

I think "in the Bible, it says…" has to be in there somewhere.

Negropolis April 7, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Oh, yes. That's what I meant. lol

fitley April 6, 2012 at 11:41 pm

They can't help it they are all closer related to the Palins than anybody wants to admit. HEE HAW. That's the call of the Alaskan Jackass.

littlebigdaddy April 7, 2012 at 12:08 am

Girl scouts are obviously all lesbians who want abortions. Only socialists would be in favor. Plus, one of their cookies is called Tagalog, which is a primitive socialist language.

tessiee April 7, 2012 at 12:20 am

It's that damn Kum-ba-yah song, I'm tellin' ya.

Steverino247 April 7, 2012 at 2:23 am

Someone's stupid, Lord. Kumbayah…

tessiee April 7, 2012 at 12:27 am

“I’m sure you are aware of the information that’s floating around the Internet, and I’d like to give you the opportunity to respond to your connection, the Girl Scout connection, with Planned Parenthood and the activist role in that — is there a connection? Is there not? Frankly, I haven’t looked into it but I see it’s out there. I just wondered if you want to make a statement on that,” Keller said.

Shorter: Who wants to do my homework for me?

HippieEsq April 7, 2012 at 2:33 am

"Water safety" is just a liberal euphemism for those abortion-themed cruise lines that are so popular these days. Or at least that's what I read on the Internet, just now, when I wrote that last sentence.

Can you comment?

Biff April 7, 2012 at 11:40 am

I was sure it had something to do with golden showers.

HippieEsq April 7, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Well, since you're "sure" and it's "on the Internet" then I'm beyond satisfied.

George Spelvin April 7, 2012 at 4:18 am

I don't believe anyone else has mentioned this yet, so I will.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Redhead April 7, 2012 at 8:48 am

The intern's name is Wassillie? Really?

Oh and Keller – I saw on the internetz that you're associated with rentboy cock-sucking and *possibly* helping Glenn Beck rape and murder a young girl in 1999 and then helping him hide the body, plus a few donkey shows down in Tijuana. Are you associated with those things? Are you not? Frankly, I don't know, but it's out there on them internets. Would you like to address this?

tcaalaw April 8, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Really, it would be irresponsible not to speculate about such things.

notgross April 7, 2012 at 8:54 am

When I father a little girl, I'm gonna make sure she gets monthly abortions once she gets into Scouting. Can't start 'em too young.

cheetojeebus April 7, 2012 at 8:57 am

The forms in general use for filing to run in an election-any fucking election, should be made a whole lot harder to fill out.

DerrickWildcat April 7, 2012 at 8:59 am

I think that little girl on the left is Molly Ringworm.

DahBoner April 7, 2012 at 3:21 pm

80's Rich worm/ Poor parasite?

Biff April 7, 2012 at 11:41 am

Girl Scouts are a series of Fallopian tubes!

DahBoner April 7, 2012 at 3:20 pm

I come fom de fallopian tubez. En peez…

James Michael Curley April 7, 2012 at 11:43 am

Alaska can proudly claim it has less abortions then anywhere else because half the year your dick freezes solid as soon as you pull it out.

DahBoner April 7, 2012 at 3:17 pm

southern Kenai Kenyan Girl Scouts

How many lil' boxes do they have to sell to get a "slutbortion" merit badge?

tcaalaw April 8, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Just one box, one time is enough.

DahBoner April 8, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Nature's Oldest Casino

rickmaci April 7, 2012 at 3:20 pm

The Republican War on Women has been extended to LITTLE GIRLS????? WTF is up with these numb skulls? To me, and I may be wrong here, but it looks very much like the lemmings are going over the cliff together.

HistoriCat April 7, 2012 at 9:08 pm

This is what happens when idiots are voted into office. Plus, the wonders of modern communications mean that every piece of insane bullshit not only has a platform to be heard but the aforementioned idiots think the internet gives it a veneer of legitimacy.

Warpde April 7, 2012 at 4:20 pm

See what you get when your born with a vagina.
You have to deal with dicks every day.

valthemus April 7, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Once the brave and noble conservatives have defeated those feminazi Girl Scouts maybe they'll go after those commie Marxist bastards teaching tai chi classes

spareme April 7, 2012 at 8:07 pm

I was a Girl Scout when I was a kiddo, many years of scouting. Now you tell me that I was supposed to be screwing! What a rip! Who do I sue?

Wile E. Quixote April 7, 2012 at 9:42 pm

I'm thinking of starting a website named "wes-keller-fucks-dogs.com". All I need is a static page that says "Wes Keller, R, Wasilla, fucks dogs.". Because once people see it on the internet it must be true.

attilatheblond April 8, 2012 at 10:03 am

I may have read, on the interweb tubes, that Wes Keller is actually an immortal vampire. To hide his identity, he has moved from place to place through history, always clinging to positions of a little official authority but never positions where history would take note of his existence. I saw on the interwebs that he was once an inquisitor for the Church of Rome, and once he was a pirate captain's second in command, where his duties mainly involved snooping around and encouraging grudges between crew members so they would tell tales on one another, resulting in him being able to use his trusy cat o nine tails regularly.

I read it somewhere on the internets, I don't know if it's true, but I think Wes Keller had better go public and explaining to do so this serious matter is cleared up, one way or the other.

tcaalaw April 8, 2012 at 5:59 pm

I hope everyone realizes that right now a freshly-unemployed John Derbyshire is fapping to two of the three girls in the photo at the top of this post.

(Please bookmark this comment in the event you need to induce vomiting in the future.)

anniegetyerfun April 9, 2012 at 1:20 pm

is there a connection? Is there not? Frankly, I haven’t looked into it but I see it’s out there. I just wondered if you want to make a statement on that

God, this is JUST the kind of bullshit that I deal with at work. "I just heard that company ABC might do X. Is it true? I haven't researched it at all, but I thought I would throw it out there and just fuck with your ideas for a bit, because, hey, tangential info that I gained via internet hearsay is as good a reason as any to try to destroy the presentation you spent hours putting together."

lulzmonger April 9, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Wasilla: the gift that keeps on giving.

comrad_darkness April 7, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Ohhhh, clever!

attilatheblond April 8, 2012 at 10:09 am

There's notes in Hell? What medium do they use, seems as how all that fire probably rules out paper?

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