wingnuts furious and etc.

Wingnuts Have New Kenyan Communist Anti-Colonial Enemy No. 1: Archbishop Desmond Tutu

Look at these fucking commies.You guys, we did not know this was a thing?

Observers are asking why a Catholic university in Spokane would invite Archbishop Desmond Tutu to address its graduating class considering his decades-long record of supporting abortion, homosexuality, female ordination, theological liberalism, and collectivist economic theories condemned by the Roman Catholic Church.

So in addition to being the moral force behind the ending of Apartheid in South Africa, Archbishop Desmond Tutu is awesome in every other possible way as well! Here, read some more!

Tutu has also been outspoken in his affirmation of the homosexual agenda. “If God, as they say, is homophobic, I wouldn’t worship that God,” he has said. Tutu has also said he was “saddened” and “ashamed” of the negative reaction to the ordination of the openly homosexual Vicki Gene Robinson as an Episcopal bishop in 2003. Six years later, he supported the Church of Scotland’s decision to ordain non-celibate homosexuals.

“On an international scale, Desmond Tutu opposes Catholic teaching on just about every non-negotiable moral issue,” Ritchie told LifeSiteNews. “He’s a strident supporter of abortion, contraception, the homosexual agenda, and Marxist class warfare.”

Hmmm, how else is Archbishop Desmond Tutu at war with the Catholic Church?

In his book God is Not a Christian, he wrote that Christians should not claim “possess all truth” but rather “be ready to learn…from the techniques of the spiritual life that are available in religions other than our own.” He has long supported women’s ordination.

So Archbishop Desmond Tutu believes exactly what Your Editrix’s commie nuns the Sisters of Notre Dame at La Reina High School believed (let’s see, what did Sister Mary Claire say? Oh yes, every religion is a path to God; then they showed us Romero, because of how they were communists). Burn, excommunicate, repeat. And then please to dig up Mother Teresa and burn her while you are at it, as she communistically did not charge people money when she nursed them through their Plague.

The Ghost of Andrew Breitbart has not yet weighed in on Desmond Tutu War on Catholicism, or Barack Obama’s learning how to make eternal war on Catholics at his old black knees. Also: birf certicate. [LifeSiteNews, via RightWingWatch]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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  1. noodlesalad

    When Jesus was crucified, it was Good Friday. When we get to crucify all the people whose very existence threaten our comfortable, segregated lives which are predicated on hate, exclusion, and fear, that's a GREAT Friday!

  2. x111e7thst

    I will not take Archbishop Tutu seriously until he gets himself some red Prada loafers.

  3. CZL

    Also, I don't know how this slipped past them, but he's black. That right there means his Christianity is suspect, because it isn't Southern Baptist. You know, the church formed solely because they thought that owning black people was something God approved of.

    1. V572 Hogan Gidley

      Slavery's okay cuz it's in the Bible. God said it, I believe it, that settles it.

      1. Negropolis

        Not just the Father, but the Son specifically had a whole little lesson on how to treat one's slave(s).

  4. DaRooster

    “[Christians should] be ready to learn…from the techniques of the spiritual life that are available in religions other than our own.”

    This Tutu guy is funny… will his comedy tour be coming to Nor-Cal?

  5. JustPixelz

    Waiting for Rick Santorum to throw-up in 3 … 2 …

    Waiting for Newt Gingrich to be outraged at the despicable hostility to Christianity displayed by this "archbishop" in 3 … 2 …

    Waiting for Sarah Palin™ to draw comparisons between Desmond Tutu and Reverend Wright in 3 … 2 …

    1. Not_So_Much

      Ever since Barry HUSSEAIN Obummer won it, that's a strike against anyone else who has. I mean, gotta be a fake thing, amiright?

    2. V572 Hogan Gidley

      The NPP got downgraded quite a bit when they gave it to evil war dwarf Henry Kissinger.

        1. gurukalehuru

          Jimmy deserved it, and has earned it again after the fact with his work for Habitat for Humanity. Nasty little warmonger Menachem Begin, not so much.

  6. Barb

    Happy Good Friday! I'm cool with Jesus. He was born and I get presents and he died and I get chocolate. It's all good.

    1. flamingpdog

      And if he ever does come back for a return visit, all the Jebus-freaks get bodily ascended to Heaven and we can go about making this a sane and pleasant world to live in.

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        Yeah but then the poor guy is stuck with them. What the hell did he ever do to deserve that? I like Jesus; and that is a fate I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

        OH – I get it. Jesus comes down to earth, all the rapturers shoot up to heaven, Jesus gets to stay down here and party with the cool folks.

        He's got this thing all worked out.

        1. Steverino247

          And why do you always go to the bathroom after reading a post from Barb? Get out of there!

      1. Negropolis

        Depending on where you live, that fantasy may totally be acceptable. Hell, in Arkansas, it's the only fantasy they are allowed.

    2. OC_Surf_Serf

      Happy Pesach back at cha!

      Chocolate? Sorry, doesn't go with all the maror (horseradish)…

    3. Hoisted_Peatard

      Yes and if Jesus ever returns as the bible says and these wingnuts believe we'll get to watch the ensuing psychological breakdown. I'll scenario it out: Jesus reveals himself as being highly semitic in the actual, non-European diaspora way (oh noes! brown!) and begins preaching "some bullshit or another" about taking care of each other, being unselfish and peaceful, not basing your entire belief system on fear, revulsion and punishment….yes, it would be a sweet time to watch the smiles melt away, replaced by fear and revulsion before someone shouts "homo!" and someone else shouts "commie!" and another one accuses him of being a "n*&^&r lover!" then the flames are lit, the cross is burned with him on it (a new very American wrinkle in the crucifixion) and they demand god to send another one, only to make this one like George Dubya Bush. THE END.

      1. Boojum

        My understanding is that the second go round is supposed to be with a sword. So, what you said, except at the end we have diced and skewered wing nuts.

  7. el_donaldo

    Modern Catholic Church: "Seriously, let's just dump all that commie peace on earth crap and focus on hounding people for their differences, personal struggles, and vaginas."

  8. randcoolcatdaddy

    "Observers are asking why a Catholic university in Spokane would invite Archbishop Desmond Tutu to address its graduating class…"

    Other observers wondered by Tutu would want to show up.

    1. Native_of_SL_UT

      Most Observers are preoccupied with trying to figure out how Peter Bishop came back.

    2. Lascauxcaveman

      Spokane is really nice in the spring time. Gonzaga has a lovely campus, located near many decent brewpubs. Spring skiing at Schweitzer Mountain and Silver Mountain is some of the best in the world, Spokane's got a half dozen really good golf courses nearby…

      1. V572 Hogan Gidley

        And if you need a dose of aerospace machismo, you can head over to Fair Child Air Force Base. In Missouri, you can go to White Man Air Force Base. These things are true.

    1. sewollef

      Or to be more accurate, God's own fascist team – Lazio 1, Roma 0.

      "This report brought to you by Harry Torquemada, now back to Hermione in the studio."

  9. Texan_Bulldog

    So Tutu is what a REAL Christian should be. No wonder these wing nuts don't recognize his version of Christianity.

        1. Chichikovovich

          Well, yeah. But remember that it's a very special kind of vagina that gets revirginized after being impregnated. (You know, like Bristol Palin's.) Mary's mom had one too, according to the most recent infallible information on the subject.

    1. Toomush_Infer

      Ummm, well….Paul….said it was "better to marry than to burn…." …so there's that….

    1. littlebigdaddy

      I guess the wingtards are all confused by the whole "archbishop" thing. And the lack of snakehandling.

    2. Toomush_Infer

      Yeah, they should never have translated the Bible….it was so much simpler then…

    1. Chichikovovich

      But "Cardinal Law" from Boston [moved to Rome, beyond the reach of subpoenas] had a more ironic name.

  10. el_donaldo

    BTW, apropos the image above, this Sunday is both Easter and Buddha's Birthday (at least in the Zen tradition).

  11. SayItWithWookies

    Gee, maybe growing up and living in a country where people were oppressed, marginalized, mistreated, tortured and killed based solely on an arbitrarily chosen characteristic that set them apart from the ruling — uh, race had some sort of long-term affect on his perception of how prejudiced societies should be.

    And this is why codifying a set of doctrines based only on argument from authority — a logical fallacy — is stupid, harmful and wrong, and why any religion that bases its principles on such a fallacy is irredeemably unfit for a liberal society.

    1. Generation[redacted]

      Oh sure, bring up race, like a race baiting race profiteer. It's getting so that Real Americans can't oppose communists like Tutu and MLK without being accused of racism.

      1. SayItWithWookies

        Although MLK has recently become a Republican, even though the GOP were fond of calling him a "professional negro" and a member of the "permanently aggrieved class" back when he was actually protesting for workers' rights.

        1. MadBrahms

          Only because all of his politics have been stripped away and shoved down the memory hole. Idiots like Glenn Beck blather on about justice without any reference to actual injustice or what King specifically fought for.

          Fuck those people.

  12. Generation[redacted]

    "Desmond Tutu opposes Catholic teaching on just about every non-negotiable moral issue… abortion, contraception, the homosexual agenda, and Marxist class warfare.”

    So this guy is straight up admitting that thou shalt not kill is negotiable, along with all that stuff about feeding the poor and love thy neighbor.

    But we all knew that already.

    1. Deportably_Jose

      Personally, I find it really fucking interesting that the opposing the Catholic teaching on charity is apparently magically now a non-negotiable Catholic teaching.

  13. C_R_Eature

    “On an international scale, Desmond Tutu opposes Catholic teaching on just about every non-negotiable moral issue,” Ritchie told LifeSiteNews. “He’s a strident supporter of abortion, contraception, the homosexual agenda, and Marxist class warfare.”

    So, let's see. According to Ritchie:

    Non-Negotiable Moral Issues = "abortion, contraception, the homosexual agenda, and Marxist class warfare.”

    Negotiable Moral Issues = State Death Penalty, wars of choice, ignoring the poor, corporate greed, inserting religious dogma into secular laws, genocide, environmental destruction, nuclear weapons and of course fucking the children.

    Yeah, I still don't get it.

    1. Doktor StrangeZoom

      As I've said before, these people have redacted their Bibles down to Leviticus, Revelations, and the Parable of the Talents, plus maybe the epistles where Paul condemns homos and uppity women.

      They are Pharisees, and, as Max von Sydow said in Hannah and Her Sisters, "if Jesus came back and saw what's going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing up."

      1. C_R_Eature

        Agreed, and "Pharisees" is an apt description of what these people are as any I've seen, thanks.
        I think that if Jesus ever could somehow come back today, his current Followers would give him the same end as Valentine Michael Smith.

      2. Deportably_Jose

        You actually need to do even better than that, and take the black marker to some heafty chunks of Leviticus as well, since even Leviticus has some choice commandments on caring for a society's poor, infirm, and "strangers", i.e immigrants.

        1. C_R_Eature

          I'm not a Biblical scholar, but I'd be disappointed if there wasn't a a "Parable of the BALLS" somewhere.

  14. flamingpdog

    Hey, if they need a replacement speaker, I hear there's a certain Catholic politician that is gonna have some free time on his hands pretty soon here.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      And a pretty damn secular one at that. Gonzaga is trying to become Notre Dame West, only with the emphasis on basketball instead of football as a recruiting tool.

    2. Lascauxcaveman

      Those Jezzies DO seem to enjoy being the loose canon on the deck of the Catholic Church, don't they?

      (misspelling intentional)

      1. Ruhe

        I've wondered if the long-term trajectory of the whole Jesuit movement wasn't based on a type of intellectual curiosity that would eventually lead adherents to simply think themselves right out of Christianity, or at least into a more "Buddhist" version of Christianity.

        1. doloras

          I've read Jesuit literature along the lines of "those Muslims ain't so bad, it's all the same God anyway, we should talk to them more". So I'm surprised that Benny XVI hasn't run them out on a rail yet.

    3. spareme

      My daddy was converted to Catholism by a Jesuit priest in Chicago – over martini's (very dry) at their favorite bar – therefore afflicking us unborn chillens with a distaste for olives our entire lives. Man, those Jesuit's really know how to roll!

    4. proudgrampa

      Actually, I matriculated at a Jesuit school (University of San Francisco). I thought it was the best education I had ever received in my life. Of course, as a recovering Baptist, anything looked pretty good at the time. Even the "religion" unit was somewhat benign: they understood where I was coming from and didn't try to shove any dogma down my throat!

    1. Ruhe

      Borges thought he might have been the real messiah. In which case true believers would prefer Hell to Heaven. I'm cool with that.

  15. Fare la Volpe

    I'm amazed they didn't attack him for his "radical" ideas on race, such as "For goodness sake, will they hear, will white people hear what we are trying to say? Please, all we are asking you to do is to recognize that we are humans, too."

    Humanity for Blah people? OUTRAGEOUS!!

    1. HereKitty

      On behalf of my Jesuit-educated relatives, LOL.

      Also, Editrix, totally killing it with that alt text.

  16. Native_of_SL_UT

    I've come to the conclusion that the only people who give a shit what the Catholic leaders have to say are the non-Catholic Christians.

  17. Chichikovovich

    It is especially outrageous when you note that the men "Archbishop" (so-called) Tutu opposed led moral, righteous governments that banned pornography, gambling, homosexuality and other such corrupting vices. They made businesses close on Sundays. Abortion was banned (though they had the human weakness to allow it in cases of rape and to save the "life" [air quotes] of the mother). And yet not one of these heroic defenders of Christian decency – not Daniel Malan, not J.G. Strijdom, not Hendrik Verwoerd, not P.W. Botha – were ever invited by Gonzaga to speak.

    On this Good Friday I thank the risen Jesus that the Catholic Church is finally beginning to see that it chose the wrong side when it embraced Tutu, of Henry VIII's schismatic church instead of solid Christians.

    1. weejee

      On this Good Friday I thank the risen Jesus

      Too soon. Wrap yourself in black and please make with a little self-flagellation.

    2. PubOption

      I think that they would have trouble recruiting for the basketball team if they invited those men to speak.

      1. Chichikovovich

        Well, the South African National Party governments from 1948 to 1994 may have had a few flaws, but they score off the charts when it comes to LifeSiteNews proper views on what Keith Richie calls the "non-negotiable" moral issues.

        Just sayin'.

  18. spends2much

    Hi Jesus! Thanks for the day off!
    I will eat Cadbury Eggs in your honour until I am light-headed and/or barf.

    Wow, Conservative Catholics with their knickers twisted over something the rest of the world sees as obvious… must be a day than ends with a "y".

  19. C_R_Eature

    So, these "Observers" that seem to have Problems with a Nobel Prize winning Archbishop:
    are they like Bill Donohue's Catholic League? A couple of loudmouth Authoritarian prudes pounding out Outraged emails in mommy's basement in their underwear?
    Yeah, let's listen to those guys.

  20. Lascauxcaveman

    and collectivist economic theories condemned by the Roman Catholic Church

    This is what this moran thinks we were taught in the Catholic schools: "Because Jesus said NEVER share. Sharing SUCKS."

    1. prommie

      "From each according to their ability, to each according to their need" is a paraphrase of a line from The Acts of the Apostles. Its a description of the way the original followers of Jesus lived.
      One of the most conspicuous miracles to occur after Jesus left, according to Acts of the Apostles, was when God struck dead the man and his wife who held back some of their possessions, instead of handing it all over, because, as was explained in Acts, the followers of Jesus had no personal possessions and "held everything in common."

      1. Ruhe

        I've never seen the face of an Xtian as they were being smacked upside the head with the Bible…but I'd really like to see that.

      2. SayItWithWookies

        There's a subtle difference now between sharing everything among the people and giving all of your possessions to the church so that they can distribute them as they see fit. The church's objection is that too many people are doing the first, which is slanderous and sinful, and not enough are doing the noble second one.

    1. sewollef

      The Romans still had the best idea vis-à-vis Scotland…. although I think they stole it from Herman Cain.

  21. prommie

    Again I'm gonna mention John Shelby Spong, the Episcopal Bishop of Newark who says Jesus weren't no God and Easter is a fairy tale. His sin, of course, is saying publicly the things that all priests are taught in the seminary.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      I have "Living in Sin?" by the good Bishop Spong. He's the one who taught me about Yaweh so that when Stephen Colbert said stuff I already knew who he was.

    1. Swampgas_Man

      Hey, I'm old enough to remember during the last American protest of Apartheid, how "observers" damned Tutu and the others for accepting aid from Commie Cuba — because Reagan's harshest comment on Apartheid was "Tsk, tsk."

    2. Toomush_Infer

      Oh, that's just the Lutherans….they morphed with the Catholics back in the 80s….

  22. WiscDad

    I love Desmond Tutu. As a recovering Catholic and current Christian follower (left side of the church), he questions what is wrong with Catholicism. Much like Murkowski does the Conservative base. But I really don't love her as much cause I'm not a recovering Conservative.

  23. prommie

    Nothing seems to get the haters to hating harder than people who don't hate enough. The one thing the haters won't tolerate is tolerance. Then one thing they won't forgive is forgiveness. And they just hate people who don't hate.

    Seems like they just resent their betters. Most assholes do.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      That was probably during his short-lived Rappin' Afrikaans phase.

      Was not a big seller.

  24. Terry

    " the homosexual agenda"

    Does the homosexual agenda get sent around via email a day or two before an upcoming homosexual meeting?

    1. JohnnyQuick

      I heard it's a 500-slide PowerPoint. No "bullets" on any of the slides — those are too manly.

  25. Mumbletypeg

    My religious leader and your religious leader
    Were sittin' by the fi-ire;
    My bishop said to your bodhi:
    …"What's in
    your wallet? ho ho heh" etc.

  26. Terry

    "In his book God is Not a Christian, he wrote that Christians should not claim “possess all truth” but rather “be ready to learn…from the techniques of the spiritual life that are available in religions other than our own.” "

    Whether the wingnuts want to believe it or not, Vatican II said that the Roman Catholic Church recognizes that all monotheistic religions are worshiping the same God. Nostra Aetate, one of the statements coming out of Vatican II, said Catholics and Muslims have a lot in common and should work together toward common understanding and benefit. There is also a fab part that says that it's contrary to the Church's teachings to discriminate against, show hatred toward, or harass any person or people on the basis of color, race, religion, standing in life, etc.

        1. Toomush_Infer

          Yes! Give it it's own place of worship, on the front of the Holy Refrigerator….I'll be over for beer, shortly…

          1. Lascauxcaveman

            And from someone used to the Catholic rituals, it makes your sacrament of communion more delicious!

  27. mormos

    Do you think the repubs deliberately create false hot-button issues like this so the populace is less likely to notice when they do more sinister but less exciting things like lower taxes for the wealthy, open public land to mining and logging, and provide endless rebates to corporations?

    also, desmund tutu is one of the greatest men now living, and adorable, i want to hug the shit out of him!

    1. Terry

      No, I think it's because the Republicans are stupid and lack even a basic working knowledge of the documents (Constitution, for instance) or institutions they claim to hold dear.

  28. owhatever

    The Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu whooping it up together about the good side of religion, although one is catholic and the other is a llama. They would lose bad in Arizona.

    1. doloras

      Funnily enough, the Dalai Lama is no fan of homosexuality or abortion. But he gets a free pass for that from Western liberals because "Buddhism ain't really a religion".

  29. ttommyunger

    Don't give a fuck what Tutu says. The same goes for the Pope and the other kid-fucking self-righteous prigs in this piece. There, I've said it and I'm glad!

  30. C_R_Eature

    I have it on good authority that Archbishop Desmond Tutu has been Touched by His Noodly Appendage. John Ritchie and the folks at Life Site News most decidedly have not.

  31. GemlikeFlame

    OK, so maybe I misunderstand this. Desmond Tutu is a retired Anglican bishop. That requires him to support US Catholic social dogma in exactly what way?

  32. HelmutNewton

    “He’s a strident supporter of abortion, contraception, the homosexual agenda, and Marxist class warfare.”

    In short, he's a Wonketeer! Hooray!

  33. Antispandex

    Ritchie told LifeSiteNews. “He’s a strident supporter of abortion, contraception, the homosexual agenda, and Marxist class warfare.”

    Is this some kind of a trick to get you atheists to believe in god? You know, show you that not everyone who is a believer is bag-o-nuts? Anyway, I think he should be our next President…he's fron Kenya or something like that, and it's already been done once, right? Now, where do we get a fake Hawiian birth certificate?

    1. MadBrahms

      "When you meet people who are trying to live a religion which refuses to be an opium of the masses, an alien and alienating force; when you meet people for whom the love of God involves human love, your atheism will give way to respect, to sympathy—who knows?—to faith." – Dom Helder Camara

      The last two words, eh, not so much, but there have been some pretty vocal anti-capitalist, and-colonial, and pro-women / teh gays religious people out there. The silver lining is that by bringing them up, blowhards like Breitbart and these other 'nuts are undermining the church's usual strategy, which is to try to erase them from history and pretend they were just marginal figures.

  34. mavenmaven

    Nobel Peace Prize laureate archbishop Desmond Tutu, speaking at Jerusalem's Yakar Centre for Social Concern (an inclusive Orthodox synagogue), stressed the primary role of absolution and people telling their stories: 'Nursing a grudge is bad for your health … You can never have reconciliation without truth, and you have to risk telling the truth before you ask for forgiveness and get on with repentance'.
    That's why the repubs hate Tutu. No reconciliation without GUNZ!

  35. rickmaci

    …and don't forget how Obama is always quoting Gandhi and you know how HE felt about Christians.

  36. docterry6973

    I don't care about his 'Peace' prize or his good works or his innovations in dance apparel. If Tutu isn't pro-Life he has no business talking to Catholics, ever, about anything.

  37. Laissez_Queer

    I am a gay atheist who's just fallen in love with a much older, straight (?) black man who serves the Church of the Whore of Babylon (RCC). I must be the personification of the Wingnut Antichrist.

    Re. Mother Theresa: that bitch let her victims suffer for the glory of god instead of giving them pain medication. The $ she took in went elsewhere.

  38. Negropolis

    They realize that he was an archbishop in the Anglican church, right? Of course they don't. In fact, it'd probably have made sense to make that known in the post for those who don't know.

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