GAME CHANG....ZZZZZZ  4:17 pm April 5, 2012

Campaign Reporters Officially Out Of Questions, Time For Everyone To Come Home

by Jim Newell

Well, here’s the big breaking news today: Mitt Romney answered the easiest question in history about the dumb issue of whether plutocratic female CEOs should be allowed to apply for membership at a golf course in Georgia.

Look, Emily at ABC has the full report! And Lisa at CNN fixes this nicely into a “Gender Wars” hashtag narrative. Great work, all around. Now let’s cancel campaign trail coverage for a couple of months, starting tomorrow. Any last pressing questions for Mitt Romney? “Would you like people to vote for you instead of Barack Obama in the election,” maybe?

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 108 comments }

GunToting[Redacted] April 5, 2012 at 4:19 pm

These reports lend a new sense of gravitas to the "boxers or briefs" question that a tween asked Bubba back in the dark ages.

MissTaken April 5, 2012 at 4:20 pm

What about not-ugly women? You know, they could be feminists in disguise.

Chill-A-Sketch April 5, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Or what about women is disguise, like Ann Coulter, for example?

nounverb911 April 5, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Or Lindsey Graham and Steve King?

Chill-A-Sketch April 5, 2012 at 4:22 pm

And Mitt can really make this one happen (one of his friends owns the place).

Pithaughn April 5, 2012 at 4:22 pm

They would have to build ladies tee boxes. Then if a male golfer's tee shot fails to go as far as the ladies tees he has to play that hole with his, shall we say, flesh colored club, hanging out. So,do you really want to see a bunch of old fellas walking around with their cock hanging out?

mormos April 5, 2012 at 4:50 pm

I don't know, does sean connery play golf?

OkieDokieDog April 5, 2012 at 4:22 pm

I bet $10,000 that he changes his mind. Or "flip-flops" as the journos like to say.

DalePues April 5, 2012 at 4:23 pm

What a cad(die).

nounverb911 April 5, 2012 at 4:35 pm

His wife has two.

SorosBot April 5, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Now he'll support allowing ladies to go to college too.

Baconzgood April 5, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Woah woah SorrosBot. That's where demz liburalz to the indoctorin'.

An Asexual Ungulate April 5, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Next thing you know they'll want to vote, too. Scandalous!

MissTaken April 5, 2012 at 4:50 pm

No way, that will take them away from earning $5 to be fake girlfriends on Facebook:
http://www.girlfriendhire.com/

Shockingly, it is safe for work

SorosBot April 5, 2012 at 5:03 pm

What the fuck? Geez; some people are pathetic.

Mahousu April 5, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Romney's spokespeople will clarify tomorrow that he meant the opposite of whatever he said.

north_of_moscow April 5, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Let's start with a trial membership and see how it works out.

MissTaken April 5, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Some more useful Presidential campaign/Miss America questions:

Do you like sunny days?
It is cute when a kitten plays with a ball of yarn?
Which smells better: poop or roses?
Do you love America?

nounverb911 April 5, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Were you drunk when you killed your bosses wife?

Chichikovovich April 5, 2012 at 4:26 pm

If you were a tree, what height would you be?

ifthethunderdontgetya April 5, 2012 at 4:27 pm

You and yer Lieberal Gotcha kweschuns!
`

Extemporanus April 5, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Is that your ass or a hole in the ground?

LettucePrey April 5, 2012 at 4:28 pm

The correct answer to all of these questions is: "Women shouldn't think about such things, it takes their minds off of their children."

SorosBot April 5, 2012 at 4:37 pm

What newspapers do you read? You'd have to be the world's biggest moron to fuck that one up.

BigSkullF*ckingDog April 5, 2012 at 4:46 pm

If she had just been honest and said "redbook, guns and ammo and mad magazine" nobody would have even noticed and we would have one less annoying meme.

elviouslyqueer April 5, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Redbook? COMMIE.

SorosBot April 5, 2012 at 5:01 pm

If she were honest, she would have said "I never learned to read".

Steverino247 April 5, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Shit or Shinola?
Spits or swallows?
Shit or go blind?

OneDollarJuana April 5, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Do you eat pancakes? If not, do you know anyone who owns a national pancake restaurant pancake chain?

doloras April 5, 2012 at 6:45 pm

A kitten playing with a ball of wool is an infantile predator honing its hunting/torture/disembowling skills, so does that change your answer?

Wile E. Quixote April 6, 2012 at 1:35 am

"All of them, Katie."

annettaj April 5, 2012 at 4:25 pm

How about women who support Planned Parenthood, dogs not on top of cars and
Nascar followers, not owners? (I know that's all stupid and insipid but so is Mitt's candidacy).

nounverb911 April 5, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Romney just blew his chance to ever play in the Masters.

MissTaken April 5, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Mitt is a good person to ask this question. Some of his friends own country clubs that do not admit blacks and women.

Texan_Bulldog April 5, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Elite, segregated high-dollar golf courses are people, too, my friend.

north_of_moscow April 5, 2012 at 4:26 pm

"I didn't mean I was 'for' it, I was just teeing off."

BarackMyWorld April 5, 2012 at 4:26 pm

He'll find a way to change his mind on this.

Just watch.

bikerlaureate April 5, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Just about everything else that comes out of his mouth lately is a lie, so yeah.

Baconzgood April 5, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Hear that ladies, the "republican war on women" is over. Now you can all stop bitching about "the rights people have to their own bodies".

NellCote71 April 5, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Exactly.

elviouslyqueer April 5, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Oh nice job, Mitt. Way to insult the ever-so-important quasi-racist misogynist donor base you've been trying to coddle.

Your move, Phyllis Schlafly, also, too.

weejee April 5, 2012 at 6:25 pm

She's so constipated she has had anything move in years.

Sharkey April 5, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Do you want fries with that?

Extemporanus April 5, 2012 at 4:34 pm

No, but I would like extra speed on my anusburger.

First, MissTaken beats me by a second in the question and answer round, and then you chomp down just as I'm dragging my bloody comment outta the water, because I am a gentleman.

Sharkey April 5, 2012 at 8:07 pm

It's what I do.

HippieEsq April 5, 2012 at 4:28 pm

If this is the GOP truce in the war on va-jay-jay then I'm thinking they'll have to do better.

weejee April 5, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Will Mittens kiss the ladies' balls for good luck?

Callyson April 5, 2012 at 4:34 pm

No, because he'll be jealous that the women have bigger ball than he does.

el_donaldo April 5, 2012 at 4:28 pm

The Mormon Church will now posthumously grant country club memberships to the nation's dead women.

MissTaken April 5, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Tomorrow's official flip-floppety Romney campaign statement: "Mitt fully supports the rights of private institutions to limit their membership as they see fit".

Oh and buttsechs, this is Wonkett after all.

Goonemeritus April 5, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Yes but should they admit armed lesbians?

anniegetyerfun April 5, 2012 at 4:59 pm

How you gonna play golf without arms?

metamarcisf April 5, 2012 at 4:30 pm

After all, many of the hookers in Augusta this weekend are women.

Eve8Apples April 5, 2012 at 4:31 pm

OK OK, we'll let the bitches in, but first we want to shove a probe up their cooters

coolhandnuke April 5, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Sandy: I want you to kill every gophers on the golf course!
Carl Spackler: Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key…
Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool! Gophers! The *little* *brown*, *furry* *rodents* -!
Carl Spackler: We can do that; we don't even have to have a reason. All right, let's do the same thing, but with gophers -!

Not_So_Much April 5, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Oh Mrs. Crane, you're a little monkey woman.

Lascauxcaveman April 5, 2012 at 4:36 pm

We can do that; we don't even have to have a reason.

Most of my misadventures in college were prefaced by just that statement. Ah, to be young and foolish, with Carl Spackler as your spirit guide.

SoBeach April 5, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Does anybody really care if a bunch of rich old bubbas have their He-man Woman Haters Club, where they can run all jiggly and nekkid around the locker room snapping each other with towels and grabbing each others doinks?

Callyson April 5, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Cue the Frothy Mix' retort about government interference in private business decisions in 3…2…1…

FakaktaSouth April 5, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Oh hell, I'm sure he's already changed his position – something about how "Women don't care about golf, they just care about the economy" with that dumbass Nimrata Nikki Randhawa Haley nodding her head in the background. (that's her real name, I'm not being a dick, Nimrata sounds like Nimrod coincidentally)

PubOption April 5, 2012 at 5:54 pm

An 'Enigma Variations' variation?

FakaktaSouth April 5, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Good lord, you KNOW I had to google that one – but damn, well played – so to speak.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUgoBb8m1eE

Not_So_Much April 5, 2012 at 4:34 pm

I wonder how many of his celestial wives are excited by this?

ThundercatHo April 5, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Why are they asking a Mormon golf questions? They're not even allowed to drink an Arnold Palmer.

savethispatient April 5, 2012 at 4:34 pm

The real tragedy is that he did not utter this phrase:
"I love golf courses, the tees are just the right height"

NellCote71 April 5, 2012 at 4:38 pm

FTW.

Lascauxcaveman April 5, 2012 at 4:35 pm

IIRC, they were finally forced to admit a token nigra or two a few years back. So what the hell, place is already ruined. Let the broads play through.

Extemporanus April 5, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Puts…

OneYieldRegular April 5, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Oh come on, surely someone can ask something slightly more challenging, like, "Candidate Romney, what's your position on whether Augusta should use chain-gang inmates to trim the fairways?"

Blueb4sunrise April 5, 2012 at 4:38 pm

WASHINGTON (AP) — A White House spokesman said President Barack Obama believes women should be admitted as members to the all-male Augusta National, home of the Masters golf tournament.

http://www.golf.com/ap-news/president-obama-belie

elviouslyqueer April 5, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand five comments in (on Golf.com, for crying out loud):

The man is so concerned about being re-elected that he panders to any group that will listen. He's inciting class warfare, race warfare (couldn't wait to weigh in on the Trayvon Martin case), and now gender warfare. The ultimate Community (Dis)Organizer?

Man, happy hour can't get here fast enough.

Sue4466 April 5, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Because opposing sex discrimination is pandering. Because sex discrimination is a nonissue. Just like racism.

Antispandex April 5, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Looking to hook up with a few more sister wives?

BarackMyWorld April 5, 2012 at 4:40 pm

I'll give these reporters a hand. Here are 10 questions I'd ask Mitt Romney:

Mr. Romney, how would you implement healthcare reform on the national level without it using the key features of your Massachusetts reform that were used in the Affordable Care Act?

Mr. Romney, how is your position on gay rights different than it was in 2002, and why did you make these changes?

Mr. Romney, do you see any contradiction in attacking the president for spending too much time at Harvard, since you were also a law student there?

Mr. Romney, if Pres. Obama was too inexperienced for national office because his only prior elected positions were as a first term senator and state legislator, and he lacks executive or private sector experience, why are you considering Marco Rubio for Vice President?

Mr. Romney, how is your position on abortion rights different than it was in 2002, and why did you make these changes?

Mr. Romney, why have you gone from being a financial supporter of Planned Parenthood to promising to "end" it?

Mr. Romney, do you believe there is a constitutional right to privacy?

Mr. Romney, besides your belief that Pres. Obama is not handling it correctly, what is your position on the Afghanistan War?

Mr. Romney, since you've endorsed the Ryan budget, do you also support converting Medicare to a private voucher program?

Mr. Romney, do you a specific plan for immigration reform, or are you still in favor of "self-deportation"?

AND THAT WAS JUST OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD. IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD!!!

Baconzgood April 5, 2012 at 4:59 pm

What is these questions that you speak of.

Boojum April 6, 2012 at 6:41 am

The answer, to each, being liberal elite gotcha media question socialism

But he'll deny saying it. .

James Michael Curley April 6, 2012 at 8:37 am

Mr. Romney you supported Sarah Palin as Vice President in 2008. Are you going to name her as your vice presidential running mate or is that another flip-fap?

Nostrildamus April 5, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Oh, c'mon. Those broads' heels would ruin the greens!

Sharkey April 5, 2012 at 4:43 pm

"Now watch this drive."

Negropolis April 6, 2012 at 12:30 am

That doesn't ever get old. lol

LesBontemps April 5, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Okay to admit women to the golf club, just not to the Abortionplex.

SayItWithWookies April 5, 2012 at 4:45 pm

"If her husband says it's okay, I don't see why not."

gullywompr April 5, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Looks like the Republican War On Women is finally officially over.

BarackMyWorld April 5, 2012 at 4:48 pm

I'll put away my rape-wand.

CogitoErgoBibo April 5, 2012 at 4:49 pm

"Women in Augusta? Yes. Women deciding what to do with your own bodies? Nope. Next question!"

Fare la Volpe April 5, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Who the hell is Augusta, and why is she going national?

Is this a Debbie Does Dallas spin-off?

Radio福井県 April 5, 2012 at 4:55 pm

It's a wedge issue.

anniegetyerfun April 5, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Golf clap.

Sharkey April 5, 2012 at 5:06 pm

A little birdie told me that too.

Negropolis April 6, 2012 at 12:31 am

Mmmmm….open-faced club sand wedge…delicious.

Look what you made me do!

DonnyKerabotsos April 5, 2012 at 4:55 pm

I'm guessing that the women will be required to tee off by holding the ball between their knees.

Wilcoxyz April 5, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Ok ladies, no health care-funded birth control, but all the wood and holes you can handle. If you're rich enough to afford Augusta.

Eve8Apples April 5, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Why of course it's OK to let the girls in. Who else will make supper and clean the toilets?

Negropolis April 6, 2012 at 12:33 am

Why, the Blahs they've let in, of course; it's their club dues. At least, that's what they call it.

Dr. Nick Riviera April 5, 2012 at 5:21 pm

"Jake Tapper President, er…Governor Romney. Do you think the Constitution is a GOOD thing *nod* or a BAD thing *head shake*"

Negropolis April 6, 2012 at 12:35 am

"Governor Romney, show me where on this copy of the Constitution President Obama stabbed it?

LiveToServeYa April 5, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Headlines: ROMNEY FAILS TO GAFFE ON ROUTINE QUESTION

mrblifil April 5, 2012 at 5:59 pm

This smacks of a government overreach in order to subjugate the right to privacy of law abiding citizens who have formed a club. We hereby rescind our annual gift of a lawn jockey.

Augusta National Golf Club
Some Guy Named "Hootie"

TootsStansbury April 5, 2012 at 6:43 pm

when this clown's pants finally spontaneously combust, will our dutiful media report "Romney on fire criticizing Obama's failed policies!"?

owhatever April 5, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Lookahere, we've been allowing women in for years. Usually a whole pack of 'em come to the bar after dinner, usually young, blonde and leggy. Ask Tiger, you don't believe me.

ElPinche April 5, 2012 at 7:49 pm

What next ? No more mandatory reach-arounds? NOT IN MY CUNTRY!!

clblabin April 5, 2012 at 8:40 pm

I'm excited to read Emily Friedman's full report!

Toomush_Infer April 5, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Jesus Christ – nobody should be allowed to wear those green jackets!…and Mitt and Barack, given their handicaps, should just go bowling together….

bringmeanaxe April 5, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Mittens said: 'I don't golf, but my friend owns the Augusta National course…'

lulzmonger April 5, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Alternate Willard:

Golf Club glass ceiling for CEOs with ladybits? NAY, NAY!

Concrete ceiling for teh poors? FUCK YEAH, I'M LOVIN' IT!

*Today's New GOP — A Kinder Gentler Feudalism*

Negropolis April 6, 2012 at 12:11 am

Wait, Augusta lets in Mormons, now? Ya' don't say.

DahBoner April 6, 2012 at 7:05 am

Romney says yes

Get it in writing…

ttommyunger April 6, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Romney deserves a golf clap for that one.

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