game chang....zzzzzz

Campaign Reporters Officially Out Of Questions, Time For Everyone To Come Home

Well, here’s the big breaking news today: Mitt Romney answered the easiest question in history about the dumb issue of whether plutocratic female CEOs should be allowed to apply for membership at a golf course in Georgia.

Look, Emily at ABC has the full report! And Lisa at CNN fixes this nicely into a “Gender Wars” hashtag narrative. Great work, all around. Now let’s cancel campaign trail coverage for a couple of months, starting tomorrow. Any last pressing questions for Mitt Romney? “Would you like people to vote for you instead of Barack Obama in the election,” maybe?

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Comments

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  • GunToting[Redacted]

    These reports lend a new sense of gravitas to the "boxers or briefs" question that a tween asked Bubba back in the dark ages.

  • MissTaken

    What about not-ugly women? You know, they could be feminists in disguise.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Chill-A-Sketch

      Or what about women is disguise, like Ann Coulter, for example?

      • nounverb911

        Or Lindsey Graham and Steve King?

  • http://www.wonkette.com Chill-A-Sketch

    And Mitt can really make this one happen (one of his friends owns the place).

  • Pithaughn

    They would have to build ladies tee boxes. Then if a male golfer's tee shot fails to go as far as the ladies tees he has to play that hole with his, shall we say, flesh colored club, hanging out. So,do you really want to see a bunch of old fellas walking around with their cock hanging out?

    • mormos

      I don't know, does sean connery play golf?

  • OkieDokieDog

    I bet $10,000 that he changes his mind. Or "flip-flops" as the journos like to say.

  • DalePues

    What a cad(die).

    • nounverb911

      His wife has two.

  • SorosBot

    Now he'll support allowing ladies to go to college too.

    • Baconzgood

      Woah woah SorrosBot. That's where demz liburalz to the indoctorin'.

    • An Asexual Ungulate

      Next thing you know they'll want to vote, too. Scandalous!

    • MissTaken

      No way, that will take them away from earning $5 to be fake girlfriends on Facebook:
      http://www.girlfriendhire.com/

      Shockingly, it is safe for work

      • SorosBot

        What the fuck? Geez; some people are pathetic.

  • Mahousu

    Romney's spokespeople will clarify tomorrow that he meant the opposite of whatever he said.

  • north_of_moscow

    Let's start with a trial membership and see how it works out.

  • MissTaken

    Some more useful Presidential campaign/Miss America questions:

    Do you like sunny days?
    It is cute when a kitten plays with a ball of yarn?
    Which smells better: poop or roses?
    Do you love America?

    • nounverb911

      Were you drunk when you killed your bosses wife?

    • Chichikovovich

      If you were a tree, what height would you be?

    • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

      You and yer Lieberal Gotcha kweschuns!
      `

    • Extemporanus

      Is that your ass or a hole in the ground?

    • LettucePrey

      The correct answer to all of these questions is: "Women shouldn't think about such things, it takes their minds off of their children."

    • SorosBot

      What newspapers do you read? You'd have to be the world's biggest moron to fuck that one up.

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        If she had just been honest and said "redbook, guns and ammo and mad magazine" nobody would have even noticed and we would have one less annoying meme.

        • elviouslyqueer

          Redbook? COMMIE.

        • SorosBot

          If she were honest, she would have said "I never learned to read".

    • Steverino247

      Shit or Shinola?
      Spits or swallows?
      Shit or go blind?

    • OneDollarJuana

      Do you eat pancakes? If not, do you know anyone who owns a national pancake restaurant pancake chain?

    • doloras

      A kitten playing with a ball of wool is an infantile predator honing its hunting/torture/disembowling skills, so does that change your answer?

    • Wile E. Quixote

      "All of them, Katie."

  • annettaj

    How about women who support Planned Parenthood, dogs not on top of cars and
    Nascar followers, not owners? (I know that's all stupid and insipid but so is Mitt's candidacy).

  • nounverb911

    Romney just blew his chance to ever play in the Masters.

  • MissTaken

    Mitt is a good person to ask this question. Some of his friends own country clubs that do not admit blacks and women.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      Elite, segregated high-dollar golf courses are people, too, my friend.

  • north_of_moscow

    "I didn't mean I was 'for' it, I was just teeing off."

  • BarackMyWorld

    He'll find a way to change his mind on this.

    Just watch.

    • bikerlaureate

      Just about everything else that comes out of his mouth lately is a lie, so yeah.

  • Baconzgood

    Hear that ladies, the "republican war on women" is over. Now you can all stop bitching about "the rights people have to their own bodies".

    • NellCote71

      Exactly.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Oh nice job, Mitt. Way to insult the ever-so-important quasi-racist misogynist donor base you've been trying to coddle.

    Your move, Phyllis Schlafly, also, too.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      She's so constipated she has had anything move in years.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Do you want fries with that?

    • Extemporanus

      No, but I would like extra speed on my anusburger.

      First, MissTaken beats me by a second in the question and answer round, and then you chomp down just as I'm dragging my bloody comment outta the water, because I am a gentleman.

      • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

        It's what I do.

  • HippieEsq

    If this is the GOP truce in the war on va-jay-jay then I'm thinking they'll have to do better.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Will Mittens kiss the ladies' balls for good luck?

    • Callyson

      No, because he'll be jealous that the women have bigger ball than he does.

  • el_donaldo

    The Mormon Church will now posthumously grant country club memberships to the nation's dead women.

  • MissTaken

    Tomorrow's official flip-floppety Romney campaign statement: "Mitt fully supports the rights of private institutions to limit their membership as they see fit".

    Oh and buttsechs, this is Wonkett after all.

  • Goonemeritus

    Yes but should they admit armed lesbians?

    • anniegetyerfun

      How you gonna play golf without arms?

  • metamarcisf

    After all, many of the hookers in Augusta this weekend are women.

  • Eve8Apples

    OK OK, we'll let the bitches in, but first we want to shove a probe up their cooters

  • coolhandnuke

    Sandy: I want you to kill every gophers on the golf course!
    Carl Spackler: Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key…
    Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool! Gophers! The *little* *brown*, *furry* *rodents* -!
    Carl Spackler: We can do that; we don't even have to have a reason. All right, let's do the same thing, but with gophers -!

    • Not_So_Much

      Oh Mrs. Crane, you're a little monkey woman.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      We can do that; we don't even have to have a reason.

      Most of my misadventures in college were prefaced by just that statement. Ah, to be young and foolish, with Carl Spackler as your spirit guide.

  • SoBeach

    Does anybody really care if a bunch of rich old bubbas have their He-man Woman Haters Club, where they can run all jiggly and nekkid around the locker room snapping each other with towels and grabbing each others doinks?

  • Callyson

    Cue the Frothy Mix' retort about government interference in private business decisions in 3…2…1…

  • FakaktaSouth

    Oh hell, I'm sure he's already changed his position – something about how "Women don't care about golf, they just care about the economy" with that dumbass Nimrata Nikki Randhawa Haley nodding her head in the background. (that's her real name, I'm not being a dick, Nimrata sounds like Nimrod coincidentally)

  • Not_So_Much

    I wonder how many of his celestial wives are excited by this?

  • ThundercatHo

    Why are they asking a Mormon golf questions? They're not even allowed to drink an Arnold Palmer.

  • savethispatient

    The real tragedy is that he did not utter this phrase:
    "I love golf courses, the tees are just the right height"

    • NellCote71

      FTW.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    IIRC, they were finally forced to admit a token nigra or two a few years back. So what the hell, place is already ruined. Let the broads play through.

  • Extemporanus

    Puts…

  • OneYieldRegular

    Oh come on, surely someone can ask something slightly more challenging, like, "Candidate Romney, what's your position on whether Augusta should use chain-gang inmates to trim the fairways?"

  • Blueb4sunrise

    WASHINGTON (AP) — A White House spokesman said President Barack Obama believes women should be admitted as members to the all-male Augusta National, home of the Masters golf tournament.

    http://www.golf.com/ap-news/president-obama-belie

    • elviouslyqueer

      Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand five comments in (on Golf.com, for crying out loud):

      The man is so concerned about being re-elected that he panders to any group that will listen. He's inciting class warfare, race warfare (couldn't wait to weigh in on the Trayvon Martin case), and now gender warfare. The ultimate Community (Dis)Organizer?

      Man, happy hour can't get here fast enough.

      • Sue4466

        Because opposing sex discrimination is pandering. Because sex discrimination is a nonissue. Just like racism.

  • Antispandex

    Looking to hook up with a few more sister wives?

  • BarackMyWorld

    I'll give these reporters a hand. Here are 10 questions I'd ask Mitt Romney:

    Mr. Romney, how would you implement healthcare reform on the national level without it using the key features of your Massachusetts reform that were used in the Affordable Care Act?

    Mr. Romney, how is your position on gay rights different than it was in 2002, and why did you make these changes?

    Mr. Romney, do you see any contradiction in attacking the president for spending too much time at Harvard, since you were also a law student there?

    Mr. Romney, if Pres. Obama was too inexperienced for national office because his only prior elected positions were as a first term senator and state legislator, and he lacks executive or private sector experience, why are you considering Marco Rubio for Vice President?

    Mr. Romney, how is your position on abortion rights different than it was in 2002, and why did you make these changes?

    Mr. Romney, why have you gone from being a financial supporter of Planned Parenthood to promising to "end" it?

    Mr. Romney, do you believe there is a constitutional right to privacy?

    Mr. Romney, besides your belief that Pres. Obama is not handling it correctly, what is your position on the Afghanistan War?

    Mr. Romney, since you've endorsed the Ryan budget, do you also support converting Medicare to a private voucher program?

    Mr. Romney, do you a specific plan for immigration reform, or are you still in favor of "self-deportation"?

    AND THAT WAS JUST OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD. IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD!!!

    • Baconzgood

      What is these questions that you speak of.

    • Boojum

      The answer, to each, being liberal elite gotcha media question socialism

      But he'll deny saying it. .

    • James Michael Curley

      Mr. Romney you supported Sarah Palin as Vice President in 2008. Are you going to name her as your vice presidential running mate or is that another flip-fap?

  • Nostrildamus

    Oh, c'mon. Those broads' heels would ruin the greens!

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    "Now watch this drive."

    • Negropolis

      That doesn't ever get old. lol

  • LesBontemps

    Okay to admit women to the golf club, just not to the Abortionplex.

  • SayItWithWookies

    "If her husband says it's okay, I don't see why not."

  • gullywompr

    Looks like the Republican War On Women is finally officially over.

    • BarackMyWorld

      I'll put away my rape-wand.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    "Women in Augusta? Yes. Women deciding what to do with your own bodies? Nope. Next question!"

  • Fare la Volpe

    Who the hell is Augusta, and why is she going national?

    Is this a Debbie Does Dallas spin-off?

  • Radio福井県

    It's a wedge issue.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Golf clap.

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      A little birdie told me that too.

    • Negropolis

      Mmmmm….open-faced club sand wedge…delicious.

      Look what you made me do!

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    I'm guessing that the women will be required to tee off by holding the ball between their knees.

  • Wilcoxyz

    Ok ladies, no health care-funded birth control, but all the wood and holes you can handle. If you're rich enough to afford Augusta.

  • Eve8Apples

    Why of course it's OK to let the girls in. Who else will make supper and clean the toilets?

    • Negropolis

      Why, the Blahs they've let in, of course; it's their club dues. At least, that's what they call it.

  • Dr. Nick Riviera

    "Jake Tapper President, er…Governor Romney. Do you think the Constitution is a GOOD thing *nod* or a BAD thing *head shake*"

    • Negropolis

      "Governor Romney, show me where on this copy of the Constitution President Obama stabbed it?

  • LiveToServeYa

    Headlines: ROMNEY FAILS TO GAFFE ON ROUTINE QUESTION

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    This smacks of a government overreach in order to subjugate the right to privacy of law abiding citizens who have formed a club. We hereby rescind our annual gift of a lawn jockey.

    Augusta National Golf Club
    Some Guy Named "Hootie"

  • TootsStansbury

    when this clown's pants finally spontaneously combust, will our dutiful media report "Romney on fire criticizing Obama's failed policies!"?

  • owhatever

    Lookahere, we've been allowing women in for years. Usually a whole pack of 'em come to the bar after dinner, usually young, blonde and leggy. Ask Tiger, you don't believe me.

  • ElPinche

    What next ? No more mandatory reach-arounds? NOT IN MY CUNTRY!!

  • clblabin

    I'm excited to read Emily Friedman's full report!

  • Toomush_Infer

    Jesus Christ – nobody should be allowed to wear those green jackets!…and Mitt and Barack, given their handicaps, should just go bowling together….

  • bringmeanaxe

    Mittens said: 'I don't golf, but my friend owns the Augusta National course…'

  • lulzmonger

    Alternate Willard:

    Golf Club glass ceiling for CEOs with ladybits? NAY, NAY!

    Concrete ceiling for teh poors? FUCK YEAH, I'M LOVIN' IT!

    *Today's New GOP — A Kinder Gentler Feudalism*

  • Negropolis

    Wait, Augusta lets in Mormons, now? Ya' don't say.

  • DahBoner

    Romney says yes

    Get it in writing…

  • ttommyunger

    Romney deserves a golf clap for that one.