PRETTY ON THE INSIDE  3:14 pm April 5, 2012

Phyllis Schlafly Warns Citadel Cadets: Some Feminists Will Trick You By Not Being Ugly

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Separate and unequalSo, the Citadel, the military college in South Carolina? Has a class on “Conservative Intellectual Tradition in America”? (We have not gotten to the joke yet, you guys.) And the professor brings in such luminous worthies/worthy luminaries as … Donald Rumsfeld and Ed Meese? (We still haven’t gotten to the funny part!) Well, this week’s was Phyllis Schlafly, the happy warrior chiefly known for defeating the Equal Rights Amendment and hating gays except her gay son, and she had plenty of good sensible (and extremely timely) warnings for our future military leaders, like: “Feminists are having a hard time being elected because they essentially are unlikable,” and “Find out if your girlfriend is a feminist before you get too far into it,” she said. “Some of them are pretty. They don’t all look like Bella Abzug.” Haw haw haw, said the cadets, or they would have if they had any idea who Abzug was, since she died in 1998 when they four years old. (She was awesome, cadets! But she was ugly so you probably wouldn’t want to fuck her, so she should have probably shut her hole.)

There was more, of course, indicating the nuance typical of the Conservative Intellectual Tradition in America:

Schlafly talked to a group of Citadel students about the culture of conservatism and the history of the religious right. She told the all-male group that “feminist is a bad word and everything they stand for is bad.”

Eh, we’d give the old lady a break, but she is ugly so we don’t want to fuck her. [PostandCourier]

 
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{ 224 comments }

actor212 April 5, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Looking at that picture, it seems Schlafly herself might be a feminist

Not that we're looksist, no sireee, just you know, pot, meet kettle. She's blah, you see.

OneDollarJuana April 5, 2012 at 3:26 pm

But she's no "government-nig…", um, uh, what Santorum said.

JudasPeckerwood April 5, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Speaking of pot and kettle, who gave her shoes and let her out of the kitchen?

OzoneTom April 5, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Bella Abzug was hawt!

OneDollarJuana April 5, 2012 at 3:26 pm

She was all hat AND cattle.

Boojum April 5, 2012 at 3:32 pm

She was. Here's a young Bella.
http://mcgeebook.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/21-b

Lascauxcaveman April 5, 2012 at 3:45 pm

WAY hotter than that Bella Lugosi chick.

Fare la Volpe April 5, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Or that other Bela Lugosi chick.

OzoneTom April 5, 2012 at 3:59 pm

And any of the above were waaay hotter than Beula Lugosi (3/4 of the way down this page): http://www.keytoons.com/HTMLindex/Reviews-Buford….

emmelemm April 5, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Dang! She was pretty hot.

OneDollarJuana April 5, 2012 at 4:11 pm

If she was so hawt, how come she was a feminist? Couldn't she get laid? Bad breath? Enquiring minds want to know!

tessiee April 5, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Wow!
Bella Babe-zug, amirite?

Negropolis April 6, 2012 at 12:45 am

She looks Natalie (Hershlag) Portman-esque, there.

finallyhappy April 5, 2012 at 8:17 pm

so my Bella story- she went to China,coming back they had to stop in Hawaii so she could have a cauterization for a nosebleed. she told me this(about her nose) while I was carrying her luggage to the car when she returned to DC( a friend of mine was a staffer of hers- and yes, I am old).

SorosBot April 5, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Well I knew my girlfriend was a feminist before we got together – but somehow that not only didn't scare me away, I thought it was a positive. Guess I should have ran off, but we're too far into it now.

actor212 April 5, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Did she slice off your peepee and put it in a jar? I've heard they do that. That's why I only sleep with Republican women. They're too stupid to know about that trick

MissTaken April 5, 2012 at 3:23 pm

And I'm not even *that* ugly. You didn't stand a chance!

actor212 April 5, 2012 at 3:28 pm

What's in that jar on the shelf behind you?

Fare la Volpe April 5, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Dead fetus, duh.

actor212 April 5, 2012 at 3:33 pm

With just one eye???

MissTaken April 5, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I prefer peepee still attached to their male. Much more useful and enjoyable that way.

actor212 April 5, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Oh sure, you say that in public!

Chichikovovich April 5, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Ah, don't be so modest! I probably shouldn't let you in on this locker-room secret but [looks around, whispers] almost all men felt their first erotic stirrings as children watching Judy Jetson.

redarmyzombie April 5, 2012 at 3:36 pm

He-man, for some of us.

GuyClinch April 5, 2012 at 3:37 pm

It was Betty Rubble for me. In the live-action category: Barbara Eden

Serolf_Divad April 5, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Before Farrah Fawcett I thought all girls were icky.

actor212 April 5, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Mmmmmmmmmmm, Jeannie.

Also, Wilma. Too. Also.

Dudleydidwrong April 5, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Annette Funicello: fap, fap, fap…

Toomush_Infer April 5, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Unless you're so old (ahem), you remember Howdy-Doody's girlfriend….

SorosBot April 5, 2012 at 3:40 pm

"Not even that ugly" is a strange way of saying "ridiculously hot". And only I know how much here, bwa ha.

MissTaken April 5, 2012 at 3:52 pm

*blushing*

SorosBot April 5, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Aw, you're cute when you blush. But then of course you're always cute.

a_pink_poodle April 5, 2012 at 3:51 pm

She clearly got her feminist fangs into you before you could run away. I don't mean that metaphorically either, it's a well known scientific fact that feminists develop fang myndibles (or mandibles) in a hidden storage sack on their neck that springs out too quick for the human eye to see.

Fare la Volpe April 5, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Is that where hickeys come from?

a_pink_poodle April 5, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Those are what happens when you make out with a feminist. You're too busy smoothing her lips while she's busy smooching your neck. You may not feel any bites because the fangs are coated with an anti-pain solution. Symptoms of myndible bites include respecting women, considering women ideological equals, violent diarrhea, considering advice from women and death.

Check with your doctor if you have any of these symptoms and stop seeing all women until your doctor tells you it's okay to do so again.

boobookitteh April 5, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Fuck her. Bella Abzug was adorable and wore cute hats.

Boojum April 5, 2012 at 3:31 pm

You know it. Here's a pic back in her younger days.
http://mcgeebook.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/21-b

bureaucrap April 5, 2012 at 3:45 pm

A nice Jewish girl. The kind you can marry.

An Asexual Ungulate April 5, 2012 at 3:34 pm

And was an all around good and cool human being. This hateful old crone, however, has nothing going for her. Except neck jowls.

Generation[redacted] April 5, 2012 at 3:49 pm

You can't motorboat neck jowls! Okay, maybe you can.

Jus_Wonderin April 5, 2012 at 3:58 pm

That's what that is? I thought she was chinning a package of weiners.

Terry April 5, 2012 at 3:20 pm

You know, Schlafly may have inadvertently driven those Citadel cadets right into the arms of feminist women by convincing the cadets that those women are forbidden fruit.

Biff April 5, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Just as likely she'd turn them all gay.

Stevola April 5, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Speaking of forbidden fruits…

Lascauxcaveman April 5, 2012 at 4:02 pm

At any rate, I wouldn't expect the cadets to take their marching orders from any shriveled old hag that wasn't their CO. Or their grandma.

Callyson April 5, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Given that I seem to have a knack for attracting Republican men (God–why? WTF did I do wrong?) I think you are on to something…

elviouslyqueer April 5, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Oh shut up Phyllis, and go back in the kitchen where you belong.

Chill-A-Sketch April 5, 2012 at 3:29 pm

I heard Phyllis' sammiches are something to die for.

vulpes82 April 5, 2012 at 4:04 pm

The irony and cognitive dissonance of that woman, who probably doesn't even know how to turn on an oven let alone be the Happy Homemaker, criticizing women for being in the public sphere has always made my eyes cross.

Giveusabob April 5, 2012 at 4:30 pm

My partner and I would both promptly kick Phyllis out of our kitchen, were that being the location you were suggesting. Perhaps instead the basement, in the neighbor's house? Our neighbor across town, that is?

actor212 April 5, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Phyllis Schlafly embodies the basic truth of life: "Beauty is only skin deep…

But ugly goes clear to the bone, man!"

Mumbletypeg April 5, 2012 at 3:32 pm

I like how James McMurtry sets someone straight:

"Yes I'm drunk but damn you're ugly
Tell you one thing yes I will
Tomorrow morning I'll be sober
You'll be just as ugly still
~

– "Red Dress"

Lascauxcaveman April 5, 2012 at 4:06 pm

He swiped that from Winston Churchill.

George Spelvin April 6, 2012 at 1:54 am

Yeah, but Winston didn't have any licks.

rickmaci April 5, 2012 at 3:45 pm

And that other basic truth: "You can't fix stupid."

Callyson April 5, 2012 at 3:22 pm

“Feminists are having a hard time being elected because they essentially are unlikable”

Yeah, that's why Barbara Boxer lost her seat in 2010…what? Er, um…

Serolf_Divad April 5, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Senator Christine O'Donnell agrees with Schlafly.

Serolf_Divad April 5, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Ah yeas… the Citadel… they bring a bulldog onto the field at half-time and the average IQ in the stadium goes up by some 7 or 8 points (remember, they're probably playing another South Carolina or Georgia college).

rickmaci April 5, 2012 at 3:48 pm

I thought their mascot was the Wannabe, as in "Wannabe a cadet at West Point but didn't have the grades and scores to get in!"

tessiee April 5, 2012 at 5:37 pm

???

Isn't the bulldog the UGA mascot?

BelleSC April 6, 2012 at 8:52 am

Also the mascot of The Citadel.

For the record, The Citadel is not a military college. It receives state funding and is a liberal arts college whose students wear military uniforms. A close relative of mine graduated from there. The uniforms are wool and cost about $2,500. Imagine marching in those in August in SC. I love this relative dearly but I simply cannot imagine which part of his brain led him to select a college where one would voluntarily do that.

Chill-A-Sketch April 5, 2012 at 3:23 pm

When dealing with pretty feminists back in the day, we used to put aspirins between our eyelids.

the_onceler April 5, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Bella Abzug was quite a good looking woman. (not snark)

Boojum April 5, 2012 at 3:32 pm
Fare la Volpe April 5, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Even as an old, she looked huggably adorbs.

BigSkullF*ckingDog April 5, 2012 at 3:24 pm

I have no idea who that is but her face looks exactly like the cyst my dog had removed from her anus last week.

actor212 April 5, 2012 at 3:25 pm

So its YOUR fault! She could still be stuck to your dog's butt, but noooooooooooooooo!

BigSkullF*ckingDog April 5, 2012 at 3:30 pm

The ASPCA forced me! It was dog abuse to leave that thing where it was.

spends2much April 5, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Is there even one major gay-hater who doesn't have a gay kid??

Phylllis Schafley- a woman with an education, a job, and in-home "help" who flies around America telling the ladies to get back in the kitchen to make pies. In other words, a typical Conservative hypocritical bullshit artist.

Still more f*ckable than Ann Coulter.

widestanceromance April 5, 2012 at 3:43 pm

And the gay kids invariably work for them.

RedneckMuslin April 5, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Still more f*ckable than Ann Coulter.

It would be exstacy when her hip snapped.

actor212 April 5, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Is there even one major gay-hater who doesn't have a gay kid??

Roy Cohn?

Well, ok, he didn't have kids because he was himself gay, but still counts!

emmelemm April 5, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Well, she has 6. Now, granted, the figure usually bandied is 1 in 10, but with 6 kids there's good odds that one of them is a HO-MO-sexual.

Callyson April 5, 2012 at 3:25 pm

The recent political flap about contraception being an important issue for women is completely contrived by Democrats and the media to divert attention from abortion and other important issues, said conservative political activist Phyllis Schlafly.
“Contraception is not controversial,” she said. “The issue is not access. It’s who’s going to pay for it.”

As usual, this is crap–the anti choicers *do* want to get rid of many forms of birth control (the morning after pill for example, plus some forms of the pill.) That's without even mentioning the Grand Canyon State's latest crackpot theory of how a woman can be preggers before the sperm gets anywhere near her…

fuflans April 5, 2012 at 11:01 pm

well i personally like to believe that barry poked that nest deliberately.

just like he did today with that stupid meaningless golf club crap.

UnholyMoses April 5, 2012 at 3:25 pm

This post is going to be utterly impossible to masturbate to.*

(* This makes multiple times I've made that joke today and, thus, have spent my load … so to type. What I can say, I've been gone and am just so excited to be back!)

north_of_moscow April 5, 2012 at 3:26 pm

To be fair, feminists make terrible trophy wives.

Negropolis April 6, 2012 at 12:58 am

Yeah, they do seem to protest when you begin pouring the hot bronze all over 'em, don't they?

gout April 5, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Now there is a chick that could really use a good transvaginal ultrasoundin.

LettucePrey April 5, 2012 at 3:27 pm

So E.T. was a feminist?

ManchuCandidate April 5, 2012 at 3:28 pm

ET, no BONE!

BigSkullF*ckingDog April 5, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Who does this woman think she is to speak in front of all of those strapping young men (and a few manly women)? Do the students need tips on ironing their uniforms or something?

GuyClinch April 5, 2012 at 3:27 pm

I assume the ancient crone is pleased to receive 77 cents for every dollar old fart-sacks like Meese earn in speaker's fees.

Also, aren't these vile old fucks, like, 130 years old by now?

actor212 April 5, 2012 at 3:29 pm

In dog years. Which would be a more accurate assessment of her age.

boobookitteh April 5, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Schlafly was an ancient vile old fuck when she was 30.

Generation[redacted] April 5, 2012 at 3:51 pm

She fought hard for the right to earn less than her male colleagues doing the same job.

Callyson April 5, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Most women are concerned about issues such as jobs and religious liberty, Schlafly said, not issues being drummed up by feminists to foster support for President Barack Obama.

Even if this is true…

Obama now leads Romney by a two-to-one count — 60 percent to 30 percent — among women under 50. This significantly helped Obama take a 9-point lead over Romney in 12 key swing states…
Carroll Doherty, the associate director at the Pew Research Center, told Business Insider in a phone interview that the issues the Obama administration has pushed as the GOP's "war on women" are not prominent to women voters.
"It's not been a top-tier issue," Doherty said. "It's lagging in importance, behind the economy. So at this stage, you'd have to say the gender gap is being driven for the most part by more traditional issues."
http://articles.businessinsider.com/2012-04-02/po

Texan_Bulldog April 5, 2012 at 3:31 pm

I hate to tell Phyllis (as a woman) but 'religious liberty' is about #43,875 on my list of things to worry about.

Boojum April 5, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Right behind how best to electroplate your tampons, amirite?

LastGasp April 5, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Find out if your girlfriend is a feminist before you get too far into it
By "it" what are you referring to, the chance she might have Vagina Dentata? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0780622/

actor212 April 5, 2012 at 4:40 pm

I prefer vaginal frittatas myself

Or just tatas. That's some gooooood eatin'!

ManchuCandidate April 5, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Best BirF Control, a picture of Phyllis.

widestanceromance April 5, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Just hold the picture between your eyes.

Serolf_Divad April 5, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Kinda looks like she's on the can trying to squeeze one out. 'course I suspect she always looks like she's on the can trying to squeeze one out.

SpiderCrab April 5, 2012 at 3:28 pm

They say dogs begin to resemble their owners. Phyllis is beginning to resemble Zombie Reagan.

UnholyMoses April 5, 2012 at 3:29 pm

FTR: I would never have married any woman who WASN'T a feminist.

I mean, who the fuck would want to spend the rest of his life with some self-hating woman who is convinced she's inferior and should just STFU and do whatever the hell her hubby says like a good little trophy wifey and make him dinner every night and clean his house and do his laundry and do him when requested and always when requested and … um …

Oh, wait. The Olden Ugly Hag might have a point here …

**ducks and covers**

Generation[redacted] April 5, 2012 at 3:53 pm

No kidding. There are also distinct advantages to having two equal incomes. For example, when choosing where to go on vacation.

BlueStateLibel April 5, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Also when choosing IF you can go on vacation.

BerkeleyBear April 5, 2012 at 4:43 pm

FYI, from what I've seen the ones protesting against feminism the loudest are secretly feminists. I mean, it isn't like Schlafly spent her life in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant, then knitting booties for grandkids.

Two stories – my wife's grandmother is a nasty piece of work. Hates just about everyone she sees as a leftist (which includes her daughter). Would be the first to shout amen condemning feminism. Yet she worked her whole life, demanded equal pay and promotions she deserved and has absolutely dominated her husband's life.

My mom, on the other hand, embraces feminism. She also worked, but balanced it with being the primary parent for my brother and me. She absolutely lets my dad dominate her life, to my private despair, but also makes cool clothes for her grandkids (and anyone else who asks).

So which one is the real feminist?

Guppy April 6, 2012 at 10:53 am

Never met a feminist sub/bottom, have we?

BarackMyWorld April 5, 2012 at 3:31 pm

I don't want to comment on Schlafly because that would require me to actually think about what she said and I'm not in the mood for that kind of headache right now.

But, on other topics: New York Magazine does a pretty good take down on conservatives objecting to the "social Darwinism" label.

Biff April 5, 2012 at 3:31 pm

I'm ugly, and even I wouldn't hit that!

Baconzgood April 5, 2012 at 3:31 pm

“Some of them are pretty"

Baconz' lil' lady was a member of NOW and she's very very hot. She likes the secks too and also…… *GASP* DUN-DUN-DAAAAAAAA I've been fooled by her and her feindish feminist friends to actually believe that women have viable opinions and that they are not just fun-bag-cum-catchers-who-squirt-out-kids-and-make-me-sandwiches!!!!! I'm brain washed!!!

actor212 April 5, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Wait. What?

emmelemm April 5, 2012 at 4:03 pm

If I had a band, I'd name it Funbag Cum-Catchers.

An Asexual Ungulate April 5, 2012 at 3:32 pm

JESUS! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!

…oh, I'm sorry, I mistook this nice hateful old lady for a soul-sucking alien. My bad.

Boojum April 5, 2012 at 3:41 pm

No, no, you were right the first time. I mean, about the fire, and killing.

NITBFS

Gleem McShineys April 5, 2012 at 7:37 pm

NITBFS

Not Intended To Butt Fuck Skulls?

Has to be. This is Wonkette, after all.

CogitoErgoBibo April 5, 2012 at 3:32 pm

"We are coming down from our pedestal and up from the laundry room. We want an equal share in government and we mean to get it. " – Bella Abzug

Steverino247 April 5, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Yeah, they had to come down off the pedestals when they figured out we were just peeking up their skirts.

Trannysurprise April 5, 2012 at 3:33 pm

How many cadets were thinking "Who is this old bag and when can my boyfriend and I leave?"

bureaucrap April 5, 2012 at 3:47 pm

The Citadel DOES have that reputation. Sort of a cross between Marine boot camp and an English boys' school.

Fare la Volpe April 5, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Wait. They let women speak in public now? Does her husband know?

Goonemeritus April 5, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Defeated people should have the common courtesy of knowing when they have lost and simply going away.

Chet Kincaid April 5, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Everything I know about The Citadel, I learned from "The Lords Of Discipline":
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lords_of_Discipl

Skullfuckers, all.

DetectiveGrey April 5, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Argh, damn you and your fast fingers! I wanted to be the one to bring up clamping electrodes to your penis!

vulpes82 April 5, 2012 at 4:07 pm

I've seen that movie once, and it was just about the most homoerotic thing I've seen outside of Falcon Studios. Even the title sounds like something Steven Scarborough would produce.

DetectiveGrey April 5, 2012 at 4:12 pm

It's also a little ironic that she might address The Citadel against feminist issues; The Lords of Discipline is a great example of why people should get abortions.

Boojum April 5, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I've posted this three times up thread, because PS is such a Conglomeration of Ugly, Nasty, and Truculence.

Young Bella.
http://mcgeebook.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/21-b

MissTaken April 5, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Hot, as in H O T.

SayItWithWookies April 5, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Phyllis Schlafly is the female Pat Buchanan — deranged, irrational, medieval, proud of it, completely irrelevant and yet she always pops into the spotlight on a regular basis though nobody quite knows why. And as pretty as an old leather shoe after a year in a dumpster.

Boojum April 5, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Old leather shoe libel1!!!!1!!!

fuflans April 5, 2012 at 11:02 pm

i would add: 'still alive?' but then i would get banned or something.

widestanceromance April 5, 2012 at 3:36 pm

This woman continues to be living proof that only the good die young.

Baconzgood April 5, 2012 at 3:37 pm

I find her photograph difficult to masterbate to. Jus' sayin'.

DustBowlBlues April 5, 2012 at 4:18 pm

The Old Man will never harbor any wishes that she did online porn, that's for sure.

Sassomatic April 5, 2012 at 3:37 pm

“Find out if your girlfriend is a feminist before you get too far into it,”

Try putting in just the tip. If she doesn't like it, she is a lesbian, I mean feminist. Which is the same thing right? Because if she is pretty, she could be one of those "lipstick feminists."

weejee April 5, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Back in the 70s I lived in Illinois along with Phylis, and we fought her in the Illinois Legislature on the ERA. Well, fought is a bit harsh – I baked cookies and took them to my State Rep (D) Helen Satterthwaite. I thought Schlafly was a humorless crone back then & think she's even moar so today.

Chichikovovich April 5, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Was that picture taken right after she opened the Ark of the Covenant and looked inside?

finallyhappy April 5, 2012 at 8:20 pm

I am really tired from Passover preparations but that one made me laugh out loud

SoBeach April 5, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Is that old battle-axe Schlafly really still out there? Kee-rist, I remember her spouting that crap when I was a little kid back in the days when every laff-riot sit-com had a "wimmens libber" character as the butt of jokes. Every time Mama and Papa SoBeach would see Schlafly on the tv they would grab me and say "Son, women are just as capable as men, and the proof is right there. That woman isn't letting her gender stop her from being as big an asshole as any man could ever dream of being…"

gingerland62 April 6, 2012 at 12:08 am

the good old days…

Jerri April 5, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Nobody has more credibility with young male military cadets than bitter, old-ass ladies.

SayItWithWookies April 5, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I always thought Schlafly was an adverb — as in, "The horse, having eaten too much wet hay, suddenly dropped a load of poop that fell schlafly onto the concrete floor."

Mumbletypeg April 5, 2012 at 3:44 pm

"Shoo, fly."

If only she would.

Fare la Volpe April 5, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Is Phylly really one to be trashing someone for their looks? She didn't look so hot herself back at her old job.

JohnnyQuick April 5, 2012 at 3:41 pm

The Conservative Intellectual Tradition.
Course Syllabus.
I. There's Nothing Under The Surface, So Start Looking Good, Uggo.
a. Homework: 1 Fortnight Tanning, up to Early Boehner at least
II. Are There Women You Want To Fuck? In That Case, Be Sure to Feign Attention to Them.
b. Homework: At least three complete O'Keefe Boat Plots, Described in Detail. Extra credit if they are cum-sealed.
c. Homework for those fine young men who feel less drawn to Female-involved O'Keefe Plots: At least 200 euphemisms for 'Wide Stance.' 300 Written Hail Marys, also.

redarmyzombie April 5, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Real men don't go to the Citadel. Only sad, pathetic, insecure fucks who don't feel self-worth unless they pay someone to tell them so. God, I can't stand them.

Sorry, no snark to see here. Move along.

prommie April 5, 2012 at 4:00 pm

And isn't it kinda pathetic, you want to be military but didn't make West Point, so you go to Charleston S&M Overcompensation U. and endure 4 years of homoerotic abuse so you can have a career as a second-rater?

DustBowlBlues April 5, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Oh, Prommie! That's sheer poetry. I may needlepoint it for a sampler for the wall. If I could needlepoint and affixed shit like samplers to my walls.

redarmyzombie April 5, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Seriously, it takes a lot of effort to earn my contempt, and these people don't just take the cake, they have the goddamn fucking bakery. It boggles me just how insecure you'd have to be to fall for this shit, and for what? So you could go around and be a pretend man with pretend confidence that isn't yours to begin with, that you had to buy off of some douchebag with delusions of grandeur in order to get? That is not a man, that's a sad, pathetic little boy who hates himself. I will never have respect for that.

Sorry. Just thinking of these people makes me want to rant.

BelleSC April 6, 2012 at 9:05 am

Please try not to paint with such a broad brush. Not everyone who graduated from The Citadel fits the profiles described here.

I am an old broad and a feminist. I would never have considered applying to such a gawd-awful place but I do keep an open mind about those who did chose it.

redarmyzombie April 8, 2012 at 6:28 am

Sorry, but when someone goes to an indoctrination mill that purposefully plays on the fears and insecurities of those who have no confidence in themselves (and make no mistake, that is exactly what the Citadel does) I reserve not only the rights to the brush, but the whole damn canvas.

So far as I'm concerned, the Citadel is cultish and evil. It preys on the insecurities of others, indoctrinates them, and actively encourages systematic abuse in all its forms, and I will never understand the people who choose to go there, for any of their reasons.

redarmyzombie April 8, 2012 at 6:39 am

If I am being rude, then I apologize, as that is not my intent. However, I know too much about that place to keep an open mind. I know what it is, I know the type of people who run it, I know the culture they foster, and I know the methods they use to prey on people and break them down. It is an evil place, as are the people who run it, and they are concerned in the well-being of their 'cadets' only in as far as they can turn them into goose-stepping drones. That is the sort of place it is, and for anyone who wants to go there, I have nothing more that I can say to them.

BelleSC April 8, 2012 at 8:08 am

No need to apologize. I am a very broad-minded old broad. I can certainly understand your feelings. I also understand the kind of person my family member is and has become. Believe me I would never defend the actions of a zombie mill. I am keeping balance. I cannot change the past. I can say only that my family member, while leaning decidedly right, does at least have the courtesy not to bring up my leftist leanings (such as they are) and does strive to keep civility in the family regarding politics. For that I am grateful.

Now what he says behind my back may be another thing but who cares.

If I may add, slightly OT, it's a real challenge being the only in my family (both sides) who leans left. AND to live in a red state. But we do endure what we must.

redarmyzombie April 9, 2012 at 4:14 am

Thank you, and you have my sympathies. My immediate family is pretty good, but the majority of them are Jehovah's Witnesses. If anyone was wondering where I learned about cult behavior, now you know. =p

DaRooster April 5, 2012 at 3:45 pm

I guess it is true… you get bitter when you're not getting any.

chascates April 5, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Then again not all rightwing harridans are beauties such as Jan Brewer either.

Limeylizzie April 5, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Or Virginia Foxxxxxxxxx, old Possum face.

DustBowlBlues April 5, 2012 at 4:12 pm

That Jean Schmidt woman, or whatever she was named, the congressman from Ohio who called the old guy from West VA a coward?

Negropolis April 6, 2012 at 1:07 am

Or Susana Martinez or that Guv from OK or (fill in the blank).

Oblios_Cap April 5, 2012 at 3:47 pm

My father went to the Citadel. He never could understand why I thought his "Save the Males" bumper sticker was so funny.

DustBowlBlues April 5, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Seriously? Save the Males? And he wasn't being ironic, or anything?

Callyson April 5, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Sorry to say, this (along with other crap) exists:
http://www.bumperart.com/Manly+Man.htm

Oblios_Cap April 6, 2012 at 8:02 am

No. It was protesting the fact that the school was being forced to admit women.

BelleSC April 6, 2012 at 9:07 am

This is true. I think they have learned the futility of their ways though. As I said earlier, they receive state funding. There is no legal way they could continue to deny admittance based on sex.

Oblios_Cap April 6, 2012 at 12:56 pm

As i often reminded him. When the courts ruled against VMI, he saw the handwriting on the wall. He was bummed out for months.

CivicHoliday April 5, 2012 at 3:50 pm

We feminists are MUCH better lays.

Generation[redacted] April 5, 2012 at 3:58 pm

I'd upfist that all night if my p-ness could take it.

Toomush_Infer April 5, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Just reading that gives me the good shivers….

OneYieldRegular April 5, 2012 at 3:52 pm

How dare Phyllis Schlafly even utter Bella Abzug's name. Schlafly is fingernails on a chalkboard, a heartless, thoughtless thug, a shriveled, inhuman husk. Bella Abzug was one of the great American politicians (almost up there with Shirley Chisholm). I still can't fault Woody Allen for anything he's subsequently done just by virtue of his having thought it important to feature the gracious and talented Abzug in Manhattan.

DustBowlBlues April 5, 2012 at 4:08 pm

The hat I'm wearing with my new, off-the-showroom floor (as opposed to the consignment shop where I buy my cashmere sweaters, etc, to look snooty when I can't afford snooty) Easter dress is hereby dedicated to the memory of Bella Abzug. She was so wonderful.

bureaucrap April 5, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Exhibit A: Jane Fonda (frankly, still pretty d**n hot for her age).
Exhibit B: Tammy Baldwin
Exhibit C: Michelle Obama

Yeah, actually feminism makes women hotter…

commiegirl April 5, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Dude, you are not FORGETTING GLORIA STEINEM??????

DustBowlBlues April 5, 2012 at 4:09 pm

You are also forgetting Dust Bowl Blues, who is hot (in her own mind, of course).

HistoriCat April 5, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Well, we've always thought so.

Limeylizzie April 5, 2012 at 3:55 pm

OT, but I just have to share this, if Wonkette made a movie this would be it.
http://www.heavy.com/movies/movies-videos/red-ban

Jus_Wonderin April 5, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Hilarious and yes! That is us.

Limeylizzie April 5, 2012 at 4:43 pm

It's got it all, fart jokes, anal jokes.

Chill-A-Sketch April 5, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Unless you trial-marry them, of course.

Generation[redacted] April 5, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Fuck you, conservatroll. My Prius-driving, NPR-listening, career having independent-minded li'l lady is one fine hottie. I wouldn't trade her for all the low self esteem subservient kitchen slaves in the world.

Speaking of which, when is Sarah Palin scheduled to speak at this conservative intellectualizing event?

Nostrildamus April 5, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Phyllis is the poster child for outdated stereotypes. We might start with the one that you have to be female to be a feminist.

A proudly testicular feminist

emmelemm April 5, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Too much! $17.99 is as high as I'll go.

actor212 April 5, 2012 at 4:04 pm

You guys: $29.99 then proxy in. We can save a fortune!

Steverino247 April 5, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Dude! She picked Judy Jetson for her avatar for a reason!

Steverino247 April 5, 2012 at 4:04 pm

What a fiend we have in Jesus.

anniegetyerfun April 5, 2012 at 4:08 pm

I didn't realize that Schlafly lived in such a big, pretty glass house with such a lovely stone garden outside.

Negropolis April 6, 2012 at 1:10 am

Comment of the Day.

It'd really be a shame if anything was to happen to that purty glass houses.

Naked_Bunny April 5, 2012 at 4:10 pm

“feminist is a bad word and everything they stand for is bad.”

Good luck refuting this airtight argument!

anniegetyerfun April 5, 2012 at 6:13 pm

It's just… too… perfect!

anniegetyerfun April 5, 2012 at 4:11 pm

She told the all-male group that “feminist is a bad word and everything they stand for is bad.”

Those are some incredibly sophisticated arguments being made there, Phyllis. Did you spend hours pulling that line together? It's amazing.

Lucidamente1 April 5, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Well, our Fair Editrix is smokin' hot. Nuff said.

Guppy April 5, 2012 at 4:21 pm

I'll just say this: feminist girlfriends have fewer sexual hangups.

Antispandex April 5, 2012 at 4:43 pm

“feminist is a bad word and everything they stand for is bad.”

I'll bet she's OK with letting women vote though…as long as they vote for Hoover, or Nixon, or Goldwater.

Eve8Apples April 5, 2012 at 4:43 pm

That screeching shrew is the Judas to the female gender.

grandinquisitor April 5, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Ladies against women.

docterry6973 April 5, 2012 at 4:55 pm

I like to think that even Citadel cadets could see that Schlafley is full of schlit.

WiscDad April 5, 2012 at 5:14 pm

So she's creating a class of guys that will beat the fuck out of their wives if they get uppity

Dr. Nick Riviera April 5, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Okay fellas, here's the test. When you see an attractive lady, shine a flashlight in here ear. If you see the light come out the other side, you're clear for take off!

tessiee April 5, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Why isn't Phyllis Schlafly home making her husband a sangwich?

Dr. Nick Riviera April 5, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Conservatives love those uptight, self-conscious, sexually repressed women. The Citadel's little known other motto is: "Missionary Today, Missionary Tomorrow, Missionary Forever"

horsedreamer_1 April 5, 2012 at 5:46 pm

I see a Ken Layne eulogizing Jesse Helms moment in the future, just replacing the one with Rebecca & the other with Phyllis.

tessiee April 5, 2012 at 5:54 pm

"So, the Citadel, the military college in South Carolina? Has a class on “Conservative Intellectual Tradition in America”"

To balance out how under-represented the conservative viewpoint is in South Carolina, and America in general?

Isyaignert April 5, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Who is the batshit church lady who used to tell wives to greet their hubbys at the door wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? I don't think it was Phyllis Schaffley – she doesn't look like much fun on a date.

pharynxoboe April 5, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Hahahaha, Citadel cadets as the future military leaders. That's not true! It's a fake military academy, like VMI. Barely any of them go into the service.

They're future fat old white men with red faces, is what they are.

owhatever April 5, 2012 at 6:44 pm

The young lieutenant will be caught with his men in an ambush in Afghanistan and remember, "Ah, yeah, Dudes! That Syphlis Scatfly taught me how to handle this kind of situation during her lecture on Conservative Intellectual Tradition. First, we shoot the feminists."

anteater April 5, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Can I say cunt? Please?
What a hateful, dried out piece of cunt she is.
So there.

drunkwithpen April 5, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Oh! C.I.T.A. my face. Get it? huh? Get it? *sigh* I'm so lonely.

C_R_Eature April 5, 2012 at 8:23 pm

Your Mind is the Ugliest part of your body, Phyllis.

Now shut up. You're making me Angry.

Toomush_Infer April 5, 2012 at 9:02 pm

And I'm the Indian in the group;;

C_R_Eature April 5, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Heh, heh heh, heh, heh, heh.

clblabin April 5, 2012 at 8:45 pm

Are they starting to shift back to the "feminist are ugly and can't get a man" trope? 'Cause recently they've been more about calling them slutty whores. I guess this counts as liberals winning the War on Women.

Toomush_Infer April 5, 2012 at 8:52 pm

So, the Citadel's budget has been cut to 77%?…

Toomush_Infer April 5, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Also – I know they're into some kind of cadet hazing there, so….

lulzmonger April 5, 2012 at 10:53 pm

(We still haven’t gotten to the funny part!)

YOU LIE!

Srsly, Citadel … Edwin "Too Dumb To Take Bribes Right" Meese? Donald "Unknown Knowns" Rumsfeld? Phyllis "Hater 4 L1F3" Schafly?

SRSLY?

Designer_Rants April 5, 2012 at 11:52 pm

WTF?:

You have a gay son, don't you?

The gay community tried to make a thing about that a number of years ago.

Is that something you will talk about?

Well, I don't try to run my children's lives, and he has been very supportive. He works for Eagle Forum. He runs my operations office and he's very supportive of all the positions that I've taken.

And then there's this:

In America we really don't believe in group rights.

Shillelagh Fly! Need I remind you; Corporations are people too!
http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,18

justincasetoo April 6, 2012 at 12:11 am

To anyone who….um…..THINKS….( I am afraid that rules out most of my intended audience) that feminists are ugly, I suggest the Movie "Nine to Five". I know this pretty well dates me but those who do take the suggestion will be rewarded in just measure…..

Negropolis April 6, 2012 at 12:40 am

Ole Syphilis Schlafly? Why is she still alive? I thought that her Sith power addiction would have drained her lifeforce, by now.

Hoisted_Peatard April 6, 2012 at 1:22 am

Jesus H Christ that chick is ugly…gotta love when an ugly wingnut attacks an ugly liberal. Very reminiscent of the "no fat chicks" bumper sticker adorning Newt's titanium reinforced Hummer. I'm just saying, but the fact that she is considered inspiration and a siren for the religious right I think says all one ever needs to about this female equivolent to "Uncle Tom's Cabin".

Hoisted_Peatard April 6, 2012 at 1:30 am

I've been recently partaking in studies in authoritarianism and I had a breakthrough with describing the GOP: it's BDSM. See, GOPers are doms, wingnuts are subs….puts it all in context, doesn't it? It explains their love of this repulsive bitch and her equally repellant son thing Andy…

gurukalehuru April 6, 2012 at 1:54 am

While hitchhiking around Europe back in 1973, I met and spent a few days with Bella Abzug's daughter. Unsurprisingly, she was loudmouthed and abrasive, but also intelligent and interesting. In the looks department, I thought her friend was cuter but, given the chance, which I wasn't, I'd've done either one of them.
This comment really has nothing to do with anything, I just felt like name dropping.

smitallica April 6, 2012 at 8:56 am

"You Citadel cadets should just look at feminists like West Point: Something you couldn't get into."

larrykat April 6, 2012 at 9:37 am

Someone should keep Schlafly barefoot and…. just barefoot.

upthruster April 6, 2012 at 10:43 am

Why is Phyllis still pretending to be alive? Clearly she's from a world that no longer exists, so the only logical conclusion is that she's dead and has been dead for decades and nobody showed her the exit door yet…because, you know, being a woman she needs a man to do that for her.

CessnaDriver April 6, 2012 at 2:26 pm

The Talibunny calls herself a "true feminist".

ttommyunger April 6, 2012 at 9:41 pm

And every one of those poor Cadets were wishing they could be anywhere else, even Afghanistan. How badly do you have to fuck up to be put in that group?

ttommyunger April 20, 2012 at 7:50 am

Alt Title: "Phyllis Schlafly…Ugly."

Lascauxcaveman April 5, 2012 at 3:49 pm

I'm older, it was Elizabeth Montgomery for me.

Boojum April 5, 2012 at 3:53 pm

and pointing out that, really, it might be better for you to go to 1881, at least for the summer. Not that you aren't loved, or missed.

Negropolis April 6, 2012 at 1:05 am

80's libel!

Jus_Wonderin April 5, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Oh yeah!

Lascauxcaveman April 5, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Add a pointy black hat to this and it's time for trick-or-treat!

Fare la Volpe April 5, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Damn. I knew she was pretty but…

Damn.

Serolf_Divad April 5, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Wowser!

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