Well just look what beloved old giggling walrus Marcus Bachmann has sent to our inbox marked with subject line: “Shhh… Don’t tell Michelle.” GO ON?
Okay that was it, we just wanted to improve your Thursday afternoon with a Marcus Bachmann-n-semen-themed post. Oh wait! Here is a quick blockquote from the rest of his scandalous letter:
afterwards you’ll be given the opportunity to make a special donation to show Michele just how much you support her work.
Afterwards? After what? Marcus Bachmann is such a weird old dandy.
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Is the secret, Steve King's in the closet with Marcus?
That's a secret???
They have been in several closets, for what Michele described as an "oddly long time. Queer even"
"Dear Jism" was the name of Philip Roth's unreleased one-man play.
I see what you did there.
Maybe it was a typo. He meant afterwads?
And "special donation" is missing the requisite quotes, so you know JUST what he's talking about.
L to the O to the L!!!!
OT Jus_Wonderin, but I like your Nipper dog avatar. I have an antique ceramic Nipper that goes with my Victrola.
Thanks! I envy your Nipper! <g>
Is his secret that when he's on his knees he's not really "praying the gay away?"
No, he's "mmmphhhphing" the "mmphnomnomnomphphmmphh".
He is. You're mishearing "preying"
Should read "From the closet of Marcus Bachmann."
Koo Koo Ka Achoo He is the walrus, he is the walrus
Is there an alternate donation to show Michelle that we would like her to fuck off?
http://www.votenolan.org/
So Shelly is pimping her hubby out now? She'll soon discover what Big Daddy Kane said back in the day…
Errrrrrr, Hitler? All of them, Katie?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pst9ZT0PwfU
That he likes big butts, and he cannot lie?
Or (Academy Award-winning) Three 6 Mafia.
I know; I still can't believe it, either.
Special donation?
To his tubesock?
This is reminisent of a certain cloak and dagger figure straight (no pun) out of the Watergate scandal.
PS Judge Smif gets pwned by Eric Holder
This is when I need Prommie .
Hey, Prommie's not the only law-talking guy here.
Sorry SorosBot, I think of you as a graphic designer, for some reason!
You're a lawyer too, Soros? Good for you, son. If there's one thing America needs, it's more lawyers. Can you imagine a world without lawyers?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u9JAt6gFqM
I speak Law. Here's the short version:
Dear Judge Smith:
Seriously?
Sincerely,
Eric H. Holder, Jr.
I'm getting "this file is damaged and cannot be repaired".
It's a .pdf
Basically, Holder lists three (single spaced) pages of precedents, and then sums it up with "Fuck you, the President taught ConLaw, muthafucka, and is fully aware that he's right. Now suck my dick. AND NO TEETH!"
You forgot, "Bitches!" Really, there are times when I think this administration is just beyond badass.
Go to http://www.adobe.com and re install Adobe Reader. There is something in Version Ten that conflicts when Adobe Acrobat is used to create a document and you try to read it with earlier some Reader versions. This has worked for a couple of my law firms that get this message when we send them scanned documents.
If you are using Acrobat to read it, as of a month ago there was a fix on their front page.
That's much more polite than "Bitch, please," which would have been my reply…
I'd be even more impressed if they stopped going after medicinal weed.
And he actually made it three pages worth of response, too. If it'd been me I would've just copy-and-pasted the second paragraph a couple dozen times, signed off with "Got it?" and faxed that sucker.
That's really cool. I would have stopped at "Fuck off, Scum", but I'm notoriously curt with my letters.
Not only does he pwn the Judge but he actually used Marbury, Weinberger and Turner Broadcasting System to do it. That last paragraph should read, "The President's remarks were fully consistent with the principles described herein. Now, here's a dime. Go out in the hall and call your parents and tell them you will never be a lawyer."
Don't tell Michele, but for a donation you can see the hawt videos me and Rick Perry made on the campaign trail.
YOU made hawt videos with Rick Perry on the campaign trail??? I understand you being unemployed and all, but …
Oh, wait, never mind.
Marcus likes jism's special donation.
It keeps his complexion clear.
And you know Marcus can keep a secret — even if everybody else knows what it is, he manages to keep it from himself.
“Shhh… Don’t tell Michelle.”
Hmmmmm, let me think…Oh, I know how it ends!
"I just got a dirty sanchez from our pool boy"
That's weird. The one I got said "From Under the Desk of Marcus Bachmann'.
I misread that last line as "Marcus Bachmann is such a weird old lady".
I had to go back to check that wasn't actually what it said.
I think it's starting to get dirty in here. I'm gonna pull up my pants and go home.
Why, he's no fun, he fell right over!
Squeeze him again, maybe he'll pass another one.
I immediately thought the Michelle in question was Mrs. Obama and that Marcus was about to confess his love for Barack. You know what that means? It means I officially had forgotten that Michele Bachmann existed (yet, somehow retained the knowledge that Marcus did).
That's because when you open "your" wonket, you unconsciously hope that the big news with the screamingest headline EVER, that he's filmed in a furry love with a man so ugly, he could be taken as a feminist.
OR You are hoping to see the big story is that Marcus has come out, and is giving a press conference with his honey alongside him while former honey holds her own on press "event" the other side of the Mall parking lot.
Or, if we're talking about my unconscious, you hope both, respectively.
I think we may share an unconscious mind, in this case.
Isn't "asking for special donations" what got Larry Craig into so much trouble? Well that and a wide stance of course.
Ironically, Marcus Bachmann has a drawer-less desk, and a tambor ass.
(I have no clue what that means, though the image of a roll-top taint does keep coming to mind…)
Ooooh Look, they are "coming out" of the woodwork, how long before Hogan Gidley declares his love for Santorum?
http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entries/meh…
former state Sen. Richard Tisei
A festive Dick Tisei?? You really can't make this shit up!!
Afterwards, after what? Why, after that prodigious letterhead, of course.
I never thought this would happen to me.
Donation? Sorry, I gave at the men's room.
OT I want a baby otter!!
Set Squee Factor to 9,000, Scotty.
But Cap'n, I don' think the ship can take it?
Just Do IT!
~
Admiral, there be otters here!
Marcus could use a man-sized safe.
He spelled it wrong. Should be "deer jism."
Bambi libel
So, I guess Wonkette signed up for Marcus' 'Male'ing list with the name Jism Spewell?
Also, wouldn't a real husband be able to spell his wife's name correctly? Michele needs a second L like Marcus needs a woman.
"Dear Jism:
Loads of fun last time we met. You're always in my thoughts. And dribbling from my cheeks. All of them.
Yours,
Marcus "The Guzzler" Bonkmen"
Lennon is spinning in his grave.
I wonder if he sent an e-mail to Obajism?
Sounds like a shot in the dark to me.
So now that she is a joke on a national level she is still soldiering along as a local one? Way to stand by your man Marcus.
"afterwards you’ll be given the opportunity to make a special donation"
what, sloppy seconds?
"afterwards you'll get a special opportunity to make a donation…" I just love the cons when they're begging for money. Get a job, losers.
"Gay?"
"Yes! You know, 'Mothers, lock up your daughters. Marcus is on the prowl!'"
If praying can make something go away, why is this fucker still here?
Marcus has a desk?
Who is under it?
Marcus Bukkaemann?
First paragraph:
"How do I love thee? Let me count teh ways … ."
You know it's not really from his desk, since that is filled with his collection of glass figurines.
Like these?
I'll bet anything Michele is into some kinky sheit! People that messed up on Jebus are almost always supressing something.
He's feeling SUPER, thanks for asking…
I don't think "secret" means what you think it means, Kirsten. lol
BTW, where have you been, lately?
I'm confused, are Marcus Bachmann and Miss Lindsey Graham cock-craving, conservative cum-dumpsters or sperm-burping right-wing gutter-sluts?
Marcus has taken more seamen than Davy Jone's Locker.
Meh. "Secret" is just the name of the deoderant he uses.
Honey-child, it ain't no secret. Mmm hmm. **z-snap**
OMG, for a second I was possesed by Tyler Perry's Madea.
'a special donation'? Like a sperm donation? Are they making a bukkake video?
Oh, Marcus, you so funny, me love you long time.
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