DILDOS  1:48 pm April 4, 2012

Super-Slick James O’Keefe Wannabe Tries To ACORN Everybody While They Point And Laugh

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Bitch better have my moneyJust because you are busy suing and getting sued by every partner you have ever had is no reason to ever turn your back for a second, James O’Keefe. That is when a newer, prettier, younger you will All About Eve you every time! So what super-slick moves is newest James O’Keefe apostle/role-stealer Mr. John Melvin Howting spinning on the dance floor? Nothin’ much, he is just going around to Communist ACORN places and asking for help starting a union! Also, asking for help starting a union to bribe people. None of all the ACORNS were fooled by this, because it was moronic. Needz moar pimp hat!

Let us hear more about this now, for “context.”

In New York, the Industrial Areas Foundation has organized for 30 years. With the help of Republican and Democratic mayors, it has built thousands of affordable single-family homes — a weirdly bourgeois affectation, that! It worked closely with the federal prosecutor Rudolph W. Giuliani to fight crime in East New York, Brownsville and East Harlem, and with Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg to construct a beautiful school campus in the South Bronx.

Manhattan Together is an I.A.F. affiliate, as is East Brooklyn Congregations. Mr. Howting visited both last week.

“I will say I had a gut reaction: Is this some sort of weird sting?” said Grant Lindsay, an organizer with East Brooklyn Congregations. “I figured I’m just naturally a little suspicious.”

Well kadooz to Grant Lindsay for having a “gut feeling” about a guy who asked things like:

If he formed a union, could his fellow workers join with the employer to shake down politicians for more money?

Nah, Grant Lindsay, you’re probably just “naturally a little suspicious.”

Anyway, the Industrial Areas Foundation was started by … duh duh DUH … SAUL ALINSKY. So “Top Conservatives of Your Ass” or whatever, by all means, get your editing equipment at the ready. Also, maybe some “suntan oil”:

Mr. Howting was accused by fellow students of once slathering tanning oil on his face and trying to pass as a Latino liberal activist on campus.

Don’t forget the boat dildos also too. These guys! How do they ever fool anybody? Oh, that’s right, THEY DIDN’T. Well, we’re sure Darrell Issa will find a way to defund the Industrial Areas Foundation anyway, right about now. [NYT]

 
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{ 82 comments }

Pragmatist2 April 4, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I must be drunk. I didn't understand a word of this.
But if it's James O'Keefe it must be bad.

Blueb4sunrise April 4, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Smoke teh pot instead!!!

MoeDeLawn April 4, 2012 at 2:08 pm

I'm witchyew.

anniegetyerfun April 4, 2012 at 2:02 pm

I am not drunk, and neither did I. Seriously, what just happened?

Pragmatist2 April 4, 2012 at 2:36 pm

The writer was drunk. Only explanation. It was posted right after lunch in DC.

flamingpdog April 4, 2012 at 2:39 pm

The big bosses at my "work" place are always on our case to put out more product in the same amount of time, quality be screwed.

BarackMyWorld April 4, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Your brain is probably too grounded in logic to make sense of the ridiculous scheme that was described.

SorosBot April 4, 2012 at 1:53 pm

See, this is what happens when you believe your own slander.

nounverb911 April 4, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Didn't Lindsey call George Romney an idiot on Mad Men Sunday?

Biff April 4, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Dude, spoiler alert! I haven't watched it yet!

prommie April 4, 2012 at 2:05 pm

I just started watching the first season 2 weeks ago, and I am watching them in order, and I have a fuck of a time avoiding knowledge, its fucking everywhere. Plus I am 50 and I will die soon, all my dreams dashed.

nounverb911 April 4, 2012 at 2:07 pm

So I shouldn't tell you that Don schtups every women in sight?

actor212 April 4, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Or there's loads of booze flowing?

BarackMyWorld April 4, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Everybody drinks a lot, too. Like all the time.

flamingpdog April 4, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Senator Graham's on Mad Men? I alays thought it was some kinda macho men's teevee show.

nounverb911 April 4, 2012 at 2:42 pm

He plays Roger's next wife.

straighteight April 4, 2012 at 1:55 pm

So which one is Goofus and which is Gallant?

Callyson April 4, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Mr. Howting was accused by fellow students of once slathering tanning oil on his face and trying to pass as a Latino liberal activist on campus.

Skin cancer diagnosis in 3…2…1…

Yesterday, it was periods as free abortions. Today, this. God does indeed work in mysterious ways…

sullivanst April 4, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Can cancers get cancer?

Terry April 4, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Eventually, O'Keefe and his friends are going to have to get jobs.

sullivanst April 4, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Unlike UI benefits, wingnut welfare never runs out.

flamingpdog April 4, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Koch Bros, the gift that keep on giving.

Veritas78 April 4, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Why? Grover Norquist never did.

nounverb911 April 4, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I'm surprised they didn't just bury him in the Meadowlands.

JustPixelz April 4, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I just added "approach O'Kweef about breaking into the Watergate to get the goods on Democrats" to my bucket list. I had to drop "help starving orphans", but a good sting is more worthwhile, right?

SorosBot April 4, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Someone running their own sting on O'Keefe and company and getting them to do something outrageously illegal would probably be fairly easy. But they would still never be arrested, because apparently they are above the law.

OneYieldRegular April 4, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Rudy Guiliani – cross-dresser and radical militant socialist? What's the Republican Party coming to?

RedneckMuslin April 4, 2012 at 1:59 pm

When will this asshole get the shit kicked out of him?

prommie April 4, 2012 at 2:06 pm

He should try to sting the Teamsters, or better yet, the longshoreman.

Baconzgood April 4, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Or the AFL-CIO. Those Boilermakers don't fuck around when it comes to the Union.

flamingpdog April 4, 2012 at 2:26 pm

I support all the anti-bullying policies and laws being promoted these days, but I wish there was some way to make an exception for assclowns like this.

prommie April 4, 2012 at 3:01 pm

What you have in mind, thats not bullying, thats justice.

Baconzgood April 4, 2012 at 1:59 pm

So he pretty much got the idea from Homer when he had the novelty foam hat on in the Kwik-E-Mart sting.

Biff April 4, 2012 at 2:03 pm

D'oh!

FakaktaSouth April 4, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Eventually James is going to do something that REALLY gets him in trouble isn't he? I just hope he doesn't scar any more women for life in the process. Knowing he's out there doing more and more illegal stuff almost makes me feel better about the Supremes deciding we can all be strip-searched for jay-walking now. I mean COME ON – it really couldn't happen to a nicer boat-dildoing-pimp/jerkie-boy-wanna-be.

Dashboard Buddha April 4, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Someone should tell him that Rentboy is associated with Acorn. He would go in "looking for work" and come out raped by Zombie Briebart.

James Michael Curley April 4, 2012 at 3:46 pm

I seem to recall he is still under indictment for that Nancy Pelosi matter. But seems to have a lot of defense money backing him. There was also something about his disconnecting his angle bracelet when he went to New Hampshire for that idiocy.

spareme April 5, 2012 at 9:40 am

You're much too nice. I wish he would show up in Birmingham, what fun we could have with him.

Lucidamente1 April 4, 2012 at 2:00 pm

"John Melvin Howting": that's usually the sort of named that follows the phrase "alleged assassin."

Baconzgood April 4, 2012 at 2:05 pm

He was quiet and kept to himself. Always paid his rent on time and kept the yard nice and neat.

-The Landlord-

OzoneTom April 4, 2012 at 2:07 pm

They do tend to use all three names. Compensation for something no doubt,

flamingpdog April 4, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Back in the day, "Melvin" was the name Mad Magazine always used for really stupid people* who weren't alread named "Alfred E."

*Apologies in advance in any Melvin's who might be posting here.

snoopyfan2010 April 4, 2012 at 2:02 pm

What do they call it when people keep doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result?

nounverb911 April 4, 2012 at 2:03 pm

George Bush?

Biff April 4, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Slut?

freakishlywrong April 4, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Juan McCain-ing?

Radio福井県 April 4, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Hitler?

Sharkey April 4, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Fapping?

actor212 April 4, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Voting for a Democrat?

Or Republican?

BarackMyWorld April 4, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Conservatism?

lulzmonger April 5, 2012 at 1:19 am

Optimism?

Gratuitous World April 4, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Well it doesn't look like this is going to result in any sexual assault charges, so it's probably one of their more successful adventures.

bikerlaureate April 4, 2012 at 2:06 pm

And, oh yes, he had another question: If he formed a union, could his fellow workers join with the employer to shake down politicians for more money?

Workers and employers pursuing a common goal??!?
Huh?

FlownOver April 4, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Next up: a step away from "documentaries" with a remake of Dr. Strangelove where President Romney has the Air Force blow the fuck out of Russia – and Iran, just for good measure – and everyone lives happily ever after in underground homes with car elevators.

PS: The bit about "Preserve Our Essence" is played straight, with "scientists" using graphs to explain the horrendous risks posed by fluoride in water systems. Otherwise, a Laff Riot.

Biff April 4, 2012 at 2:08 pm
Designer_Rants April 4, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Organized Scapegoater

Doktor StrangeZoom April 4, 2012 at 2:12 pm

He loses style points for failing to adopt a phony Arab accent and saying his name is "Achchchhchch-med"

freakishlywrong April 4, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Another example of delusional conservatives living in some invented, gauzy reality. I mean; "shake down"? Really, loser wingnut?

revmatty April 4, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Maybe it's the meds (mine or Rebecca's), I can make no sense of this post. The original story is much more coherent yet due to the actions of Mr Howting still entirely nonsensical. I think he broke Rebecca's brain.

MozakiBlocks April 4, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Somebody actually wants to be like James O'Keefe? Sweet Jeebus.

flamingpdog April 4, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Hell, even Darth Cheney has a fan club.

actor212 April 4, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Howting?

Nothing a little penicillin won't clear up

badumCHING!

johnnyzhivago April 4, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Do O'Keefe's parents actually allow him to do this stuff alone? I mean does his mom come with him on these gigs???

kissawookiee April 4, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Is Grant Lindsay blah? Then I'd say the only way he's just "a little suspicious" is if he isn't wearing a hoodie.

ElPinche April 4, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Industrial Areas Foundation , if you see a skinny ugly ass dork posing as a pimp, stand your ground.

Carlodog April 4, 2012 at 3:01 pm

"Kadooz" What is this word supposed to mean?

"So what super-slick moves IS newest James O’Keefe apostle/role-stealer Mr. John Melvin Howting spinning on the dance floor" Wow, learn some grammar rules.

I can hardly read this, it's so badly written.

DahBoner April 4, 2012 at 3:26 pm

All About Eve

True. Squirtin' vinegar and olive oil up into your Lady Parts Cave is in Teh Bible…

Naked_Bunny April 4, 2012 at 4:43 pm

With people like this around, it's no wonder liberals look so bad!

Isyaignert April 4, 2012 at 11:18 pm

What the fuk you talking 'bout? O'Keefe is a Reicht-winnged DB skeezy tool.

Gleem McShineys April 4, 2012 at 4:52 pm

I think this would be news if a "Conservative Activist" actually told the truth, instead of creating entire false personas solely for cosplaying up some cobbled together gotcha videos for muckraking purposes.

How many deceptively edited videos have to shoot out of dead Breitbart's moldering bung before we declare them ALL "not intended to be a factual statement"?

Or in other words, how fucking terrible is our news media that the conservative movement still has any shred of credibility whatsoever, let alone actually be held up as the legitimate "other point of view"??

Jesus, Al Gore managed to contract a terminal case of Negative Press Narrative when he said things that were essentially true (Love Story, and The Interwebs). Yet Romney can contradict himself almost daily, and, nothing.

Douchey cunts like ass-Melvin here can pull a stunt in the name of conservative activism, and this will basically go unnoticed by everything except a drunken Mommy Blog? That's pretty awful.

glamourdammerung April 4, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Well, it is always OK if you are a Republican.

ttommyunger April 4, 2012 at 8:42 pm

I know this article prolly made sense as it was rolling off your grass-stained fingers, but when you come down and look it over you'll see that it just isn't a good idea to write and submit stuff when stoned. Oh, and fuck James O’Keefe and his asshole buddies.

Isyaignert April 4, 2012 at 11:13 pm

MAKE IT STOP!!!! I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE O'KEEFE!! AGHHHHHHH!!!

oldedinvn April 5, 2012 at 8:21 am

How dare you insult a conservative intellekshul.
Dam librul bitches.

Dr. Matt April 5, 2012 at 11:27 am

O'Qweef is the poster child for why abortion should not be outlawed.

fitley April 5, 2012 at 12:50 pm

I thought the parasite O'Queef would follow his host BigTard into the hole. No?

undeadgoat April 6, 2012 at 12:10 am

Bravo on these guys for their great "message management"! Way to "get out in front of the story" there before this dweebus could post a video! Also, are there any pictures anywhere of this fucktard? NYT linked to his fake Facebook but they didn't screengrab it.

flamingpdog April 4, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Representative WHO?

prommie April 4, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Funny, I watch, and I don't think its a lot, seems just right to me. Everyone smokes, everywhere, all the time, though, with no shame, and I love that.

Gleem McShineys April 4, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Thud McFlopster, I think?

BarackMyWorld April 4, 2012 at 6:08 pm

The child safety (or lack thereof) blows my mind the most.

Veritas78 April 4, 2012 at 7:10 pm

There are no nice characters, no one to root for. You'll eventually hate them all. Have fun!

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