Super-Slick James O’Keefe Wannabe Tries To ACORN Everybody While They Point And Laugh

Bitch better have my moneyJust because you are busy suing and getting sued by every partner you have ever had is no reason to ever turn your back for a second, James O’Keefe. That is when a newer, prettier, younger you will All About Eve you every time! So what super-slick moves is newest James O’Keefe apostle/role-stealer Mr. John Melvin Howting spinning on the dance floor? Nothin’ much, he is just going around to Communist ACORN places and asking for help starting a union! Also, asking for help starting a union to bribe people. None of all the ACORNS were fooled by this, because it was moronic. Needz moar pimp hat!

Let us hear more about this now, for “context.”

In New York, the Industrial Areas Foundation has organized for 30 years. With the help of Republican and Democratic mayors, it has built thousands of affordable single-family homes — a weirdly bourgeois affectation, that! It worked closely with the federal prosecutor Rudolph W. Giuliani to fight crime in East New York, Brownsville and East Harlem, and with Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg to construct a beautiful school campus in the South Bronx.

Manhattan Together is an I.A.F. affiliate, as is East Brooklyn Congregations. Mr. Howting visited both last week.

“I will say I had a gut reaction: Is this some sort of weird sting?” said Grant Lindsay, an organizer with East Brooklyn Congregations. “I figured I’m just naturally a little suspicious.”

Well kadooz to Grant Lindsay for having a “gut feeling” about a guy who asked things like:

If he formed a union, could his fellow workers join with the employer to shake down politicians for more money?

Nah, Grant Lindsay, you’re probably just “naturally a little suspicious.”

Anyway, the Industrial Areas Foundation was started by … duh duh DUH … SAUL ALINSKY. So “Top Conservatives of Your Ass” or whatever, by all means, get your editing equipment at the ready. Also, maybe some “suntan oil”:

Mr. Howting was accused by fellow students of once slathering tanning oil on his face and trying to pass as a Latino liberal activist on campus.

Don’t forget the boat dildos also too. These guys! How do they ever fool anybody? Oh, that’s right, THEY DIDN’T. Well, we’re sure Darrell Issa will find a way to defund the Industrial Areas Foundation anyway, right about now. [NYT]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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  1. Pragmatist2

    I must be drunk. I didn't understand a word of this.
    But if it's James O'Keefe it must be bad.

    1. flamingpdog

      The big bosses at my "work" place are always on our case to put out more product in the same amount of time, quality be screwed.

    2. BarackMyWorld

      Your brain is probably too grounded in logic to make sense of the ridiculous scheme that was described.

      1. prommie

        I just started watching the first season 2 weeks ago, and I am watching them in order, and I have a fuck of a time avoiding knowledge, its fucking everywhere. Plus I am 50 and I will die soon, all my dreams dashed.

          1. prommie

            Funny, I watch, and I don't think its a lot, seems just right to me. Everyone smokes, everywhere, all the time, though, with no shame, and I love that.

          2. Veritas78

            There are no nice characters, no one to root for. You'll eventually hate them all. Have fun!

    1. flamingpdog

      Senator Graham's on Mad Men? I alays thought it was some kinda macho men's teevee show.

  2. Callyson

    Mr. Howting was accused by fellow students of once slathering tanning oil on his face and trying to pass as a Latino liberal activist on campus.

    Skin cancer diagnosis in 3…2…1…

    Yesterday, it was periods as free abortions. Today, this. God does indeed work in mysterious ways…

  3. JustPixelz

    I just added "approach O'Kweef about breaking into the Watergate to get the goods on Democrats" to my bucket list. I had to drop "help starving orphans", but a good sting is more worthwhile, right?

    1. SorosBot

      Someone running their own sting on O'Keefe and company and getting them to do something outrageously illegal would probably be fairly easy. But they would still never be arrested, because apparently they are above the law.

  4. OneYieldRegular

    Rudy Guiliani – cross-dresser and radical militant socialist? What's the Republican Party coming to?

    1. flamingpdog

      I support all the anti-bullying policies and laws being promoted these days, but I wish there was some way to make an exception for assclowns like this.

  5. Baconzgood

    So he pretty much got the idea from Homer when he had the novelty foam hat on in the Kwik-E-Mart sting.

  6. FakaktaSouth

    Eventually James is going to do something that REALLY gets him in trouble isn't he? I just hope he doesn't scar any more women for life in the process. Knowing he's out there doing more and more illegal stuff almost makes me feel better about the Supremes deciding we can all be strip-searched for jay-walking now. I mean COME ON – it really couldn't happen to a nicer boat-dildoing-pimp/jerkie-boy-wanna-be.

    1. Dashboard Buddha

      Someone should tell him that Rentboy is associated with Acorn. He would go in "looking for work" and come out raped by Zombie Briebart.

    2. James Michael Curley

      I seem to recall he is still under indictment for that Nancy Pelosi matter. But seems to have a lot of defense money backing him. There was also something about his disconnecting his angle bracelet when he went to New Hampshire for that idiocy.

    3. spareme

      You're much too nice. I wish he would show up in Birmingham, what fun we could have with him.

  7. Lucidamente1

    "John Melvin Howting": that's usually the sort of named that follows the phrase "alleged assassin."

    1. Baconzgood

      He was quiet and kept to himself. Always paid his rent on time and kept the yard nice and neat.

      -The Landlord-

    2. flamingpdog

      Back in the day, "Melvin" was the name Mad Magazine always used for really stupid people* who weren't alread named "Alfred E."

      *Apologies in advance in any Melvin's who might be posting here.

  8. snoopyfan2010

    What do they call it when people keep doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result?

  9. bikerlaureate

    And, oh yes, he had another question: If he formed a union, could his fellow workers join with the employer to shake down politicians for more money?

    Workers and employers pursuing a common goal??!?

  10. FlownOver

    Next up: a step away from "documentaries" with a remake of Dr. Strangelove where President Romney has the Air Force blow the fuck out of Russia – and Iran, just for good measure – and everyone lives happily ever after in underground homes with car elevators.

    PS: The bit about "Preserve Our Essence" is played straight, with "scientists" using graphs to explain the horrendous risks posed by fluoride in water systems. Otherwise, a Laff Riot.

  11. Doktor StrangeZoom

    He loses style points for failing to adopt a phony Arab accent and saying his name is "Achchchhchch-med"

  12. freakishlywrong

    Another example of delusional conservatives living in some invented, gauzy reality. I mean; "shake down"? Really, loser wingnut?

  13. revmatty

    Maybe it's the meds (mine or Rebecca's), I can make no sense of this post. The original story is much more coherent yet due to the actions of Mr Howting still entirely nonsensical. I think he broke Rebecca's brain.

  14. kissawookiee

    Is Grant Lindsay blah? Then I'd say the only way he's just "a little suspicious" is if he isn't wearing a hoodie.

  15. ElPinche

    Industrial Areas Foundation , if you see a skinny ugly ass dork posing as a pimp, stand your ground.

  16. Carlodog

    "Kadooz" What is this word supposed to mean?

    "So what super-slick moves IS newest James O’Keefe apostle/role-stealer Mr. John Melvin Howting spinning on the dance floor" Wow, learn some grammar rules.

    I can hardly read this, it's so badly written.

  17. DahBoner

    All About Eve

    True. Squirtin' vinegar and olive oil up into your Lady Parts Cave is in Teh Bible…

  18. Gleem McShineys

    I think this would be news if a "Conservative Activist" actually told the truth, instead of creating entire false personas solely for cosplaying up some cobbled together gotcha videos for muckraking purposes.

    How many deceptively edited videos have to shoot out of dead Breitbart's moldering bung before we declare them ALL "not intended to be a factual statement"?

    Or in other words, how fucking terrible is our news media that the conservative movement still has any shred of credibility whatsoever, let alone actually be held up as the legitimate "other point of view"??

    Jesus, Al Gore managed to contract a terminal case of Negative Press Narrative when he said things that were essentially true (Love Story, and The Interwebs). Yet Romney can contradict himself almost daily, and, nothing.

    Douchey cunts like ass-Melvin here can pull a stunt in the name of conservative activism, and this will basically go unnoticed by everything except a drunken Mommy Blog? That's pretty awful.

  19. ttommyunger

    I know this article prolly made sense as it was rolling off your grass-stained fingers, but when you come down and look it over you'll see that it just isn't a good idea to write and submit stuff when stoned. Oh, and fuck James O’Keefe and his asshole buddies.

  20. undeadgoat

    Bravo on these guys for their great "message management"! Way to "get out in front of the story" there before this dweebus could post a video! Also, are there any pictures anywhere of this fucktard? NYT linked to his fake Facebook but they didn't screengrab it.

Comments are closed.