reefer madness

Attorney General Eric Holder Raids Dope School, So Tired Of Only Being Hated By Right

Pretty babiesWith all of the Wall Street criminals taking Monday off, and apparently just sick and fucking tired of only being despised by gun nuts on the right, Attorney General Eric Holder sent his G-men in to bother a bunch of fucking hippies at Oaksterdam University. Joined by forces not ratified in the Constitution, and conveniently ignoring a little thing Southerners, Santorum, and racists (same thing) like to yammer on about (i.e. “states rights”), they set out with their $800 government hammers to crash their way through the doors of some of the world’s most dangerous pot growing teachers. Three local buildings were raided, with harshed witnesses watching agents load up their vans with sweet fucking bud and shit from the school. Oaksterdam president Richard Lee also found himself playing host to agents at his home the same morning. IRS spokeswoman Arlette Lee said a search warrant was being served and the probe was under seal in a Northern District Court. Attempts to get a hold of the IRS for further comment were met with a wait time greater than fifteen hours. Apparently Oaksterdam and Mr. Lee have been under double secret probation this entire semester.

Holder, who once promised to leave the dirty fucking hippies alooooone, is apparently now taking cues from Michele Leonhart, a soft hearted DEA boss who is also a humanitarian hellbent on helping old people stop not hurting from pain medication in nursing homes (even if they have their doctor’s prescription in hand) and also happens to be the person who unlocked the hammer cabinet for Monday’s raid. Leonhart is no stranger to marijuana thug life. As a former Baltimore cop she has seen the pot labs explode and kill for miles around, and as she became the DEA big dog she saw the horrors of marijuana once again when David Koresh smoked marijuana for the first time. She only intends to become more aggressive.

In defense of this administration’s aggressive marijuana policies, it should be pointed out that not one marijuana induced suicide bombing has not happened since Obama took office and that accidental related marijuana baby microwaving has been non-existent. [MSNBC]

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About the author

Erik Jay is currently unemployed, but has a history of managing various motels and quitting customer service jobs on day 1. He still feels accomplished graduating from a continuation high school in 1989.

View all articles by Erik Jay

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317 comments

  1. johnnymeatworth

    To add insult to injury, they also confiscated every Flaming Lips album on campus.

    1. Ruhe

      There's a lesson there for everyone who joins Federal Law enforcement "because you cannot know yourself or what you'd really do…with all your power."

  2. OzoneTom

    Thankfully there was nothing more important for law enforcement to do in Oakland yesterday.

    1. flamingpdog

      "Girl on Girl on Girl"

      Close but no cigar. You need a 70, not a 66, on your med boards to pass and become a gynecologist.

  3. KennyFuckingPowers

    I'm getting too old for this shit. I am not a fucking criminal.
    Turn me, loose set me free, anywhere but Montana.

  4. chascates

    I wanted to enroll this past month (one month intensive course) but didn't have the money. (If it took a nickel to go 'round the world I couldn't get out of sight!) Oaksterdam U has Ed Rosenthal as a teacher; he's written many books on pot growing and has a column in High Times or one of those mags. The tuition was low, they guaranteed you a job as an intern and would easily get you a med-pot card. All types of cultivation are covered: hydroponic or dirt, sea of green, cloning techniques, etc.
    With the fed crackdowns this past year enrollment had really dropped off. When even Pat Robertson argues for decriminalization this administration is trying its hardest to alienate those who helped elect it.
    http://www.oaksterdamuniversity.com/semester.html

    1. FROTHY

      I'm just about ready to give up. Birth control is not MY problem, and I'm not gonna be around long enough to worry about how much RMONEY fucks over the 99%. All I want is the right to use weed for my pain instead of something that leaves me zombified and costs nearly ten times what my good weed does.

    2. Barrelhse

      Chemo- all my hair fell out, chronic fatigue, NO appetite. The weed made me hungry enough to drink some Ensure, but I still lost 20 lbs.
      Real criminals must be overjoyed to see that law enforcement has chosen to waste time and resources on harassing sitting ducks, rather than tackle any truly harmful criminal activity. Choosing to enforce the easy stuff is not impressive law enforcement.

  5. Jukesgrrl

    What are they doing now that they weren't doing in 2007? If this place is so evil, why didn't they nip it in the bud, so to speak?

    That and … jerbs creator!!

  6. orygoon

    They'll still be hated by the right, and everybody with the sense that God gave little ducks knows that.

    Money from pharma, maybe, for blowing up the weed?

    1. Designer_Rants

      That stinks like a tinfoil wingnuts' taint (guessing). But I can't think of any better reason. Obama already had to make a deal with them not to tackle drug prices in the ACA (3-legged stool: 1) Healthcare Providers 2) Insurance Companies 3) Drug Companies — take out one of those legs so they don't gang up on the legislation and spend tens-of-millions on negative ads during the ACA's passage through Congress). Maybe this is residuals of that deal, or a new one? I don't like feeling like the mirror opposite of a Paultard.

    2. BerkeleyBear

      I think it had more to do with the head dude at the U's overt pro-legalization/bend the medicinal rules to the breaking point stance than pure politics. Dude sorta blazed out a "come and get me" smoke signal, and the DOJ bit.

      1. imissopus

        If I'm not mistaken, that dude was the one who got the proposition to legalize weed on the CA ballot in 2010, despite resistance from pro-legalization groups who thought he was picking the wrong time and wrong way to push the issue. The guy seems to care more about the glory of being the person who gets it legalized, which of course makes it less likely to happen.

        1. Lascauxcaveman

          We have the same debate going on in the Soviet of Washington (State). We've got heavy hitters in the State Leg trying to out-and-out legalize weed (screw the Feds; legalize and TAX it) and long-time medical and de-criminalize people shouting "No! No!"

          People are almost as nuts about this stupid, little, tiny insignificant thing as they are about the controversial (but statistically insignificant) issue of abortion. I don't know about the rest you, but I want my roads properly paved and my public schools properly funded. I don't want you legislators to waste my time or tax dollars on the idiotic witch hunt stuff.

          Jesus, people are fucking stupid.

          I can't wait for baseball season to start.

  7. Barb

    I just got the memo! Rebecca got her dispensary license and now we can trade our p-points for weed!

        1. flamingpdog

          Run, Rebecca, run – Barb plans to drop a little p on you!!

          Unless, you know, you like that kind of kink.

  8. LastGasp

    Let's see — Barack Obama, George Bush, and Bill Clinton are all known to have used non state-sanctioned consciousness-altering substances. Gives a new meaning to the phrase "The highest office in the land."

  9. Limeylizzie

    I fucking hate pot, I hate the smell, I hate how I feel when smoke it, I hate those lunatics who smoke a joint upon waking and I loathe being around a bunch of people when they are high. Still love me Wonkette?

          1. Limeylizzie

            Very rarely, but MrLimeylizzie is a recovering alcoholic, so seems unfair to be boozing it up around him, so I just don't bother anymore.

          1. Limeylizzie

            We land in about an hour and a half at JFK. My single life in NYC…MrLlmeylizzie will be in Los Angeles until June…

        1. flamingpdog

          Reminds me of the Norfolk State College in Virginia football cheer: "We don't drink, we don't smoke, Norfolk, Norfolk!"

          1. flamingpdog

            I did four years hard time in Williamsburg in the early 70s. It's a big part of the reason I fled west.

          2. flamingpdog

            No, no, no. In my four years there, I never even ventured more than one block into Colonial Williamsburg, and that was only because my PO box was there (no mail delivery to students on campus) and for a little shopping. Too many gooks (= tourists) and too much sanitized history for snobbish college students!

          3. flamingpdog

            Nah, he was still dipping girls pigtails in inkwells when I was there, and he was in the Law School there. More likely he was roommates with one-L. Now I REALLY haz the sads.

            I did live down the hall from this Republican douchebag freshman year. I only knew him to say hi in the hallway, but he seemed like a decent enough sort at the time.

    1. LettucePrey

      Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

      (Seriously, though, I upfist you. I've smoked pot maybe four times in my life and hated every time. I hate the smell and don't like being around people who are high. But I live in San Francisco and go to Burning Man and worship The Big Lebowski. Some battles just aren't worth fighting.)

          1. Limeylizzie

            I think it is my fault as the first drug I ever tried was acid, I was 14, and went to a club and got very, very paranoid, so after that I just wasn't particularly interested in any of them.

          2. HippieEsq

            For some of us, regularly eyeballing a gram in a vaporizer (I prefer the one officially endorsed by Willie Nelson) is the emotional raincoat that allows interaction with despicable people without snapping their heads off (or sk$&%fuc++ng them, in Wonkateer parlance). Also I'm sooooo high.

    2. Biff

      If you weren't already married, I'd ask for your hand. What the hell, all the other parts, too. I hate the shit out of that shit! I hate the laws against it, though, too. Also.

        1. Biff

          But I certainly don't want to impose on anyone else's right to enjoy it. Same with booze, don't like it myself, but you're more than welcome to it, and I know how to avoid that which I don't like…

    3. C_R_Eature

      'Course, we love you, how could we not?

      I haven't smoked dope in 15 years of so – P tests put a stop to that. I kinda miss mushrooms, especially in the field, on fantastic sunny days like today, I drink and it's fun but I could take it or leave it.
      However, you can have my Coffee when you pry it out of my Cold Dead Hands.

      1. Limeylizzie

        I love the java more than life itself. A lovely medium-deep roast, low-acidity and full-bodied, much like myself come to think of it.

        1. C_R_Eature

          Ahhhhhh, one of the Morning's wonderful pleasures. I brook no Adulterants. Pure, Hot and Black. As it should be.
          I mail order Kona beans from Barry's birthplace for special occasions. Like Sundays.

          1. Jukesgrrl

            Hmm. Another thing we have in common.

            Lizzie, did you see that our boyfriend Martin O'Malley got a kick in the head today? A state senator that the Guv, Steny Hoyer, and many others had endorsed for a newly drawn Congressional seat in western Maryland was defeated by … get this: A BANKER who doesn't even live in the district. The banker was endorsed by Bill Clinton (who received donations by said banker when he was president) and the Washington Post and used his own money to outspend O'Malley's candidate 3-to-1.

    4. Monsieur_Grumpe

      I haven't smoked a joint in years myself. Never found it habit worthy and when you sing for living it is real hard on the throat. Mushrooms however… good thing they are hard to come by.

      1. C_R_Eature

        Yeah, I always thought smoking sucked and don't miss it at all. Mushrooms…They were so much fun an Age of the World ago. I've probably accumulated so many psychological scars that I just wouldn't be able to enjoy them any more.

    5. Loaded_Pants

      What I hated about weed was it made me paranoid & then I would get the munchies from hell. If I didn't eat everything I could find in the fridge or cupboard, I ended up going to a local fast food joint & eating food that would tear up my digestive system for the next day or so. However, the potheads I knew were more fun to be around than some of the people I knew who were drinkers who turned mean after a few drinks.
      Oh, the memories. At least it was before such shit like Meth & Oxycontin had entered the area where I was living at the time.
      Too many people I used to know from that time & place are now either dead or in prison. I'm glad I managed to not get too swept up in it.

    6. ThundercatHo

      Why wouldn't we love you? Being pro-choice is about more than having a punch card down at the Abortionplex. I happen to love pot, the smell, the taste, how I feel when I smoke it. I haven't been able to for some time tho' d/t having kids and being a responsible parent, etc. Since I am a total lightweight when it comes to alcohol (1 drink limit) and don't really like being around people who are shitfaced it was a way to participate in my younger days.

    7. imissopus

      Well, I like weed. I never have it around the house anymore because a) I'm a broke-ass poor and b) I go through occasional phases of heavy exercising that include three-mile runs and I like to have my lungs clear for that, but otherwise I would buy it and put myself to sleep some nights smoking a bowl and watching Adult Swim. But you're still okay, LL.

    8. George Spelvin

      Well, I suppose the defining question is: do you think that people who don't agree with you (including those lunatics) belong in jail?

          1. Limeylizzie

            I am totally in favour of it being legalised, I just wish they could get rid of the smell!

          2. George Spelvin

            Good point. I have rarely indulged for a couple of decades, but I always preferred cookies.

          3. FROTHY

            Vaporizer. I use it inside the house, and both my partners don't like the smell of smoke, and they can't even tell I'm using it. There's a slight aroma of popcorn. The strain I use for the pain doesn't give the munchies, and, if anything, it makes me MORE energetic (no pain) and a bit obsessive, hence the lengthy quarterly reading lists and to-do lists, and that kind of shit. Which I like, because lying around zoned out is SO not enjoyable, as an Oldz.

    9. Lascauxcaveman

      I am just OK with all recreational drugs. But being of abnormally robust constitution, I've tried most of them, found them amusing, and and none have become the master of me.

      You just have to decide exactly how much of your life you wish to spend intoxicated, that's all. For me it's only between dinner and bed time. And not every day. There is a life to be lived, after all.

    10. FROTHY

      No. I used to, but.

      Of course, I use it only for pain (srsly. I used to love getting high as a yoof, but once you grow up and have shit you need to do, getting high is not so fun any more, or not for me, anyway, because I'd rather take care of shit before it turns into a crisis, and I can't do that if I'm ripped). These days, I use a fixed, tiny amount each day, and ONLY for pain, and I find I can function quite well that way. Much better than being on painkillers all the time.

      So, I'm sorry, darling, it's over.

    11. James Michael Curley

      With a 34G super structure, of course we'll still ….. Wait! are those things staring at me? Where ever I go in this room they're staring at me!

    12. Toomush_Infer

      Just for the record – I love the idea of your orbs, just like the idea of pot, like the idea of heaven….us oldz can only get to the second Cuba Libre before it's naptime again….

      1. Limeylizzie

        MrLL is an oldz, quite a bit older than I am, and when he starts to nap I whip off my bra and do the “nipple tassel dance” . He enjoys the orbs as well.

  10. Negropolis

    I can't for the life of me figure out why they are still doing this. The administration has been doing this since they got into office. Until our AG here in Michigan came in and basically holed-up the medical marijuana advocates, it was the Obama administration that'd been doing consistent intimidation raids.

    This isn't even politically smart, anymore, so it makes even less sense. If there are any issues running quickly to the left in the past decade, it is the equality movement and the decriminalization movement.

      1. Negropolis

        I'll go take a look. I usually start at the top of the page and descend when I get here.

    1. Wile E. Quixote

      It's because they're a fucking bunch of dicks. Most of our law-enforcement apparatus is completely useless, but in order to look as if they're actually doing something to earn the money that they steal from us they occasionally have to have a big raid like this one, otherwise someone might eventually say "Who are these fuckheads and why are we paying them so goddamned much money?"

      1. Chichikovovich

        Also (not sure of this, but pretty sure) it's a huge money-maker. Any cash found on the premises can be seized and used by the force. Roof leaking in the agency squash courts? TV in the lounge looking a bit old? No money in the budget for repairs or new TV's? Raid a drug den!

    2. flamingpdog

      We just have to bide our time here, Grop. Some of the other people on teh Wonkette has assured us that Barry will go all radically liberal after the election when he doesn't have to worry about being re-elected, and I'm sure marijuana legalization is one of the things that will magically happen because he's just biding his time until he can reveal that he actually is a secret Saul Alinsky, Bill Ayers, and Stokely Carmichael all wrapped up in one.

      1. iburl

        Who are these people? Really? There are still people who think Obama has the Librul burning a hole in his back pocket? I mean, I know the GOP does, I know Newt Gingrich has warned us of the coming Marxist Takeover that a 2nd Obama administration would be, but, seriously, Wonketters that still have not figured out that Obama is a center-right mainstream Democrat at heart?

      2. Negropolis

        I just said this downthread, but this 11 dimensional chess conjecture/conspiracy is really starting to get old. the game only makes sense when you're trying to co-opt an idea where the conservatives are firmly in control. We're talking about decriminalization for medical use, not even just general decriminalization.

        Here in Michigan, this thing passed by 60+%, meaning that it isn't even a partisan issue in most of the states that pass it. This enforcement simply doesn't make any kind of political sense, and not even any policy sense. The feds should not be fucking with this. They should have kept to their cease-fire. If Republican governors want to fuck around and oppress, that's one thing. This administration should not be a party to something where they are going to end up on the wrong side of history. And, again, this doesn't even make sense from a policy standpoint because Republicans governors and legislatures in states with decriminalization for medical use are already fucking with patients, caregivers and the community in general. The Obama administration should not be doing their work.

    3. George Spelvin

      I hate to say this, but I've come to suspect that the President is exhibiting what I call Guilty Parent Syndrome. I've seen this in quite a few of my fellow Boomers and post-Boomers (I'm an oldish parent, so most of the parents of my kids' contemporaries are Xers).

      It runs something like: I did various recreational substances when I was younger, and it was even sometimes pretty cool; but the drugz made it hard for me to excel at what I wanted to do (strong form: almost snared me into a lifetime of addiction); so my children must be protected from the temptation, even if that means imprisoning a lot of other peoples' children for doing what I once did.

      Guilty Parent Syndrome can be a really powerful motivator. Coupled with forty years worth of institutionalized Drug Warriorness (which has its own motivations, most of them financial), we get business as usual.

      I admire President Obama, but there are points upon which we disagree. The "mini-surge" in Afghanistan was one, but there it appears that he may have emerged from the Pentagon's spell. The Drug War is another, and there — unfortunately — it appears that his position is unchanging.

      1. GunToting[Redacted]

        Um, Barry is the prez… I understand your key point, but does this mean that if Barry didn't blaze he'd be emperor of the universe by now?

  11. angerbear

    It's weird how reefer madness seems to manifest most acutely in people who don't smoke pot.

    1. Negropolis

      Crazy, innit? Never smoked a thing in my life (asthamtic, here), but there is something deeply unfair about this particular prohibition.

    1. James Michael Curley

      Yes. Several times. Mostly forgettable. For purely aesthetic insanity Butler decided to create a memorial to those who worked the factories during WWII building the Jeep. In the park (across from where I first saw Annie Hall) they put up the memorial; a Jeep. On at least two occasions I swiped a parking ticket off a car parked on the street and put it on the memorial as in "Illegally parked on the grass."

      This is the town in which Santorum grew up. Explains a lot.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      He just admitted he grew up in "government housing on VA property." So that kind of welfare is OK, huh? As long as you're not blah, I guess.

    2. BarackMyWorld

      He prides himself on his ability to speak without prepared text, but his speeches really suck.

          1. Doktor StrangeZoom

            Give me your gangly, your pimply, your awkward masses yearning to cop a feel…

          2. C_R_Eature

            The newly-erected refuse of your teeming schools.
            Send these, the hairless, penis-tost to me,
            I lift my lamp beside the engorged tools!"

  12. chascates

    And for a brief time some med pot workers were eligible to join the Teamsters (2010):
    Under the two-year contract, the company will pay for the workers' health care costs. The workers will receive pensions under the Western Conference of Pensions Fund, and their wages, currently at $18 an hour, will increase to $25.75 an hour within 15 months. They also get 10 paid holidays and 60 hours of personal time per year.

    With apologies to Little Milton, if that isn't heaven then grits ain't groceries and Mona Lisa was a man.

  13. iburl

    I was already hating Holder for his bullshit excuses as to why this and all future American presidents have the right to declare other Americans "terrorists" and have them (and their children, evidently) killed on the spot, disappeared, held without trial, etc., etc., etc..

    I'm sure that these God-like powers will never be abused by some future, less cuddly president.

    1. TheGyrus

      I've been assuming the "fast and furious" investigations by the Republican house members was just bullshit Republican politics as usual. But, fuck it, I hope they take him down.

  14. sbj1964

    Pot is a Gateway drug,for those who one day want to be able to afford a Coke habbit.Why are the 1% trying to keep the rest of us down?

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      I used to smoke pot, and I can assure you, it ain't a gateway to anything bu overeating and nap time.

    2. prommie

      The really wealthy can afford to develop heroin habits. It is apparently a pleasant substance, as long as you never have to be anywhere and can afford unlimited quantities.

    1. Radio福井県

      Barb, that was liveblogging with ruthless efficiency. No Wolf. No King…..here King, here King. No Erin Burnout. Thank You.

    2. Crank_Tango

      That's certainly no way to get the floor clean, but then again mopping is just a primitive form of bending.

  15. rocktonsam

    "pot labs explode and kill for miles."

    where? who?

    I'm really to stone to check the googlez and find the frick out

    cripes

  16. Boojum

    If the law weren't enforced, who would want to change it? If it were only (still) enforced against the blahs, would Pat Robertson care? Give Hopey some credit; he's just spreading the enforcement around to Ritz cracker country, y'all.

    1. Designer_Rants

      Speaking of Pat, about 15 yrs ago a buddy and I were watching 700 Club one night (just sorta happened) and they did the most over-the-top reenactment of a PCP freakout where a guy went on a hammer-murder rampage. In the background of his apartment was a poster of (can't remember, let's say… Mona Lisa smoking a joint?). I looked over at my buddy's apartment wall and there was that very same poster. We laughed! Wish I could find that clip on teh YouTubez.

      1. Boojum

        No, seriously, whether it is his intention or not — and I give him credit for intelligence and book learnin' — strictly enforcing a bad law will lead to its repeal much faster than ignoring it. Particularly in this environment of everything he is for, they are against, yet they are the natural supporters of the drug laws. So, they either give him credit (not gonna happen) or they talk the need for medical marijuana and an exception to the ridiculous drug laws. Pat Robertson has started that trickle. Watch it become a flood.

  17. C_R_Eature

    "Dope will get you through times of no Money better than Money will get you through times of no Dope"
    - Freewheelin' Franklin

  18. BarackMyWorld

    Listening to Paul Ryan…Whe credits it to Obama, but wasn't "uniter not a divider" a George W. Bush line?

    And Ryan's reciting a "string of bumper stickers" says Maddow.

    1. BarackMyWorld

      Ryan also says a president shouldn't blame others, then Mitt comes on and starts blaming Obama for job losses, poverty, and gas prices.

      1. Barb

        Let's see Mitt bring this shit to the debates against President Obama*

        *I'm going to do my best to call him "President Obama" I am tired of the likes of Sarah Palin, calling him "Obama"

        1. Designer_Rants

          I kind of like taking those pointy words from wingnuts and dulling them down and keeping them. "Barry" and "Obamacare" are ones I use affectionately w/out thinking anymore. That's probably wrong.

    2. Radio福井県

      snark off/
      Paul Ryan is wrong. His budget is a travesty. An embarrassment of humanity. Tax the poor, more tax cuts for the job creators? Really? Medical coupons for for the oldz? Gut education, Social Security, the environment and science? Whilst not touching the Military-Industrial-Socialist Complex? A fascist proposal that passed the House?
      Shame, shame, shame.
      snark on/
      Ryan/Cantor '16

      1. BarackMyWorld

        I was glad Obama called it "Social Darwinism," because that's what it is.

        I can't wait to see the rightwing indignation over the use of that term in the next few days.

        1. Radio福井県

          Srsly, BMW. Obama doesn't need a poll or consultants to call this dreck out. Teabaggers, the 1% and Palinbots are the only ones who could support this insult to reason.

  19. randcoolcatdaddy

    Obasm is obviously trying to appeal to those three voters in Chapel Hill, North Carolina that were undecided between him and Santorum.

    1. littlebigdaddy

      As a native C' Hillian, I would say those guys are probably too fucked up to vote, under any circumstances.

  20. BarackMyWorld

    Mitt's victory speech is just terrible, in terms of both wording and delivery. The substance also sucks, but that's a given.

      1. ElPinche

        Mitt is in serious need of a game changer, and Paul Ryan can't help that wealthy mannequin.

    1. AddHomonym

      The hostility is Gingrich-worthy. The invective is Santorum-worthy. You just beat these guys, Mitt. No need to mimic them any more.

    2. littlebigdaddy

      Here's the party line from now on: Mittens is a highly advanced (and fetchingly handsome) android from planet delta in the Alpha-112005 system. He has been present on earth since earth year 1788 and particularly regrets the French Revolution. The glitches you see are due to the vast distances that communications travel between Mitt and his handlers on Alpha-112005 Delta. He will, nonetheless, lower your taxes and kill your granny, if she is on Medicare.

    3. Negropolis

      Every time I'm accosted by these primary night "speeches" from him, I can't help but continue to ask myself: "This is the guy they are about to put up against the president?"

      God knows that anything is possible. I mean, you get enough stupid into a proverbial room and damn-near anything is possible. But this guy makes Bob Dole and Herbert Walker look like exciting, principled visionaries. I mean, Mitt looks like a bad clone/copy of what a "good" Republican would be. You know, like the degredation you get when you copy a copy.

      1. Toomush_Infer

        The problem is: over half the voting public is stupid….is there any snark that can match this reality?…

  21. BarackMyWorld

    "I'm not naive enough to believe that free enterprise is the answer to every problem."
    The free-market purists just shit a brick.

    Follows up with "government should be an ally of business."
    Everyone should've just shit a brick.

  22. Terry

    They are a "cannabis college"? Isn't that basically sending an engraved invitation to the DEA to raid them?

      1. Jukesgrrl

        And they've been in operation since 2007, so what's happened between now and then? Or would they prefer that medical marijuana dispensaries be staffed by people who know nothing about pot? I don't get Eric Holder. At all. Not to mention I find it hard to believe he consulted with the re-election managers before he pulled this stunt.

  23. Jukesgrrl

    "Walk with me every day"? You mean with our noses up your butt the way Paul Ryan was doing at every campaign stop today? I don't think he wants the vice presidency, I think he wants to be adopted by Mitt. Or maybe gay-married?

  24. HippieEsq

    The consensus from the brain trust of extremely talented and ridiculously blazed attorneys in the board room (my Patio) is that this about taxes, man. Also two of the five lawyers are dogs, but one of those is named Earl Warren so, ya know.

      1. HippieEsq

        But….I neutered Earl Warrren.*

        (*that phrase also serves as the working title of Scalia's next book)

    1. Negropolis

      If this is about taxes, mayhaps they need to bring this industry fully into light instead of this ridiculous legal limbo they leave it in.

      1. HippieEsq

        You mean a policy change? At the federal level? Sigh….it appears we're both smoking (vaporizing?) too much.

  25. Monsieur_Grumpe

    A little OT.
    I find that most of the jobs I apply for now a days require me to take a drug test. I've never had a problem passing but that has been purely by chance. If they would ask me if I take drugs I would be honest and I say that I like to smoke a doob once in a while with my friends and my preferred method of mind alteration is organic hallucinogens such as mushrooms but I would never show up at work stoned any more than I would show up at work drunk. I find it strange that they never ask if I take drugs. They just get me to piss into a sterile cup instead which is sealed by a nurse substitute and inserted into a machine that mindlessly performs the tests and emails the results to my potential employers HR department. The nurse substitute never knows the results.

    1. Barb

      Grumpe, the best of luck to you in your job search and bug hugs!
      My husband had a pee test at work and tested positive for PCP. They tested him again and he was clean. I don't trust the tests.

      1. smokefilledroommate

        One of the most annoying things I was ever subjected to was a "hair sample" drug test by Blockbuster –I'd never heard of it; uh, I was young and needed a job in southwestern Ohio in 1993. The douchebag manager pulled my hair from underneath my ear (I had really short hair) and cut it off with rather dull scissors which fucking hurt. (I still wonder to this day if that was legitimate). I thought shit, I'm just an alcoholic, so I'll get the job.. A few weeks later after learning how to clean windows and all the nightly shit doled out to me that nobody wanted to do, I came back to work after a raucous Bengals/Eagles Toilet Bowl game in which a friend and I were pelted with peanut shells for rooting for the Eagles. Much beer was imbibed. I was greeted with "Amy, you smell like a brewery!". Needless to say, I didn't last long.

        And that's my Blockbuster story.

        1. James Michael Curley

          My Blockbuster story was; "I rented this DVD of Bambi to show to the kids … "

          Hair sample drug testing for weed was all the rage back then, claiming it could distinguish if the testee had used it for up to 6 days prior. However, it seems the same test would give false positives for coal tar which was used in several hair prep products. Or so we would argue back then. Ever look at a reasonably cognizant judge and try to tell him the long haired hippie standing before him used Vitalis on his hair? Do they even still make Vitalis

    2. Designer_Rants

      Insurance. If you drive a forklift or company car through the crowd of children, seniors, bunnies, baby deer, kittens riding puppies, and everyone's mothers, someone's gonna get sued. Especially if you were wasted. It's better just to make sure you can at least go to an interview sober-ish.

    3. PuckStopsHere

      I passed a drug test once. I was pissed. Called my dealer straight away and told him, "I told you that weed you sold me was horseshit."

    4. James Michael Curley

      Being old and a veteran who came out of the service a bit less of the Adonis I was when I was drafted, I get to subject myself to VA ministrations for a variety of reasons. The last time I got the results of blood tests I found they added a test for marijuana. Making inquiries produced the usual; "I don't know." with the understated; "Are you trying to make trouble?"

    1. C_R_Eature

      If you're thinking about shooting a whole lot of people and then yourself, start with
      yourself, please.

        1. C_R_Eature

          As cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University?

  26. Warpde

    Holder can take away my buds when he pries them from my THC laden hands.
    Then again, I'll be so fucked up I probably won't notice………..
    BC BUD 2012, FUCK YEAH!

    Oh, sorry!
    Wrong country.

  27. FakaktaSouth

    I remember hearing the man himself say this shit would not happen under his admin. It aggravates me. I have HEARD Pres O talk about this in a reasonable manner, so I know he knows this is bullshit. What about states' rights for real? (I don't care if I am a southerner and a big old cliche, the people in that state did vote for this to be allowed in their state, so that means, fuck off Feds, no?)
    What a waste – of time, money and for God sake won't somebody think of the weed? Breaks my heart.

    1. Designer_Rants

      Not to mention it really does help people, so I've heard. People who can't eat because of chemo, people who have strange pains that no prescription seems to help…

      1. prommie

        Not to mention people who enjoy a little enjoyment with their enjoyment. Being happy makes me happy.

    2. HippieEsq

      Well, to be fair to the Kenyan Socialist administration, they promised not to interfere with growing/dispensary operations that were legal under state law and otherwise not implicating other federal criminal laws (RICO, tax, etc). So the point is….fuck I forgot.

  28. Barb

    Hold the phones! Sarah Palin has suggested Allen West for Veep.
    OR someone who:
    "….. has intimate knowledge of the way the military works and should work, perhaps by having a close family member serve, someone like that."

    Sarah, are you suggesting that having your son in the Army qualifies you to be all Veepy again?
    Is there anyone here in Wonkette who didn't/doesn't have a close family member who served in the military? Today, we are all VEEP nominees.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      HEY! We got a surgeon in our family, and I was JUST thinking it'd be fun to cut on somebody – I feel by Sarah's rationale I am instantly qualified – relatively speaking.

    2. smokefilledroommate

      My uncle served in the Air Force in the mid 80's. He messed his hand up and apparently got some kind of "experimental surgery" where they removed one of his knuckles or something which left his hand more fucked up than it was originally. According to him, he gets 'hush money' to this day.

        1. flamingpdog

          My uncle, who passed away last week, volunteered for the Marines at the beginning of WW II, and came home with a metal plate in his head and epilepsy to go with it. He never talked much about the war, but a couple of summer sago I was talking to him and somehow his volunteering for the Marines came up, and he looked at me (or looked as best he could because he was going blind) and said, "What the heck was I thinking?!?"

          1. Barb

            Flaming, my deepest condolences and respect for your uncle. I'm sorry for the loss your family suffered and appreciate the service your uncle gave to our country.

          2. flamingpdog

            Thanks, Barb. I was actually relieved when he died. Like my mom (his sister) he died very slowly over a long period of time. In each case, it got so that I had a hard time remembering them from when they were younger and still vital. When it's my time, I hope I get run over by a tractor-trailer truck.

          3. Crank_Tango

            My grandfather was a naval corpsman who served out WWII in China inspecting the whores in the brothels for VD.

            You're welcome.

            Fight the clap over there, so we don't have to fight it over here, also.

          4. Biff

            My hero! My own grandfather was a carpenter prior to WWI. The Corps of Engineers already had all the carpenters they needed, so he was trained as a "dentist". What could go wrong, he already had a proven aptitude, and plier experience…

          5. James Michael Curley

            When I got drafted (Summer '67) the Army lined you up in the induction center in a couple rows without telling you what it was for. I was raised to be courteous so I let a couple asshats push ahead of me. The a drill sergeant from the Marines came in and counted off the first twenty-five and marched them off to Camp Lejuene. I was about 29th. Best lesson I learned in the military for my whole time.

        2. Boojum

          My brother (a commenter of note) is a Navy hofficer. Does that mean I can be the first gay/village people straight Vice President?

    3. ThundercatHo

      This is so awesome. Please let it happen again. Please, please, please. Did you watch her this morning? I thought about, couldn't bring myself to do it and decided to wait for the highlights.

    4. flamingpdog

      Fucking' Allen West makes Alan Keyes look like Mr. Normal Sanity. Patrick Murphey is the Dem running against Mr. Flattop this year. I've thrown Murphey a few Ameros this time around even though I don't give a crap about Florida, just because Allen West is not only a discredit to his race, he's a discredit to any race, including the "human", which I'm not altogether sure he is actually a member of.

        1. James Michael Curley

          http://act.credoaction.com/take_down/the-ten.html

          By that cell phone carrier that promotes itself as not contributing to right, republican causes and politicians.
          They have a list of six, soon to be ten, congress members they are targeting.
          Allen West is one. Joe "Deadbeat Dad" Walsh is another. Of these two, a Superpac raising $1,000,000 may have legs. Allen West is in a district with new boundaries which some say will work against him and Joe Walsh is in a district with new boundaries and the Democrats just chose Tammy Duckworth to run against him.

    5. Radio福井県

      Oh yes, the Romney cabinet:
      Rubio: VP
      John Bolton: Sec. of State
      Palin: Dept of Energy
      Ryan: OMB
      Allen West: Defense
      Inhofe: Interior
      Malkin: Pres Sec't
      Newt: Education
      Steve King…here King, here King: Fatherland Security
      Cantor: Treasury
      Grassley: Agriculture
      Bachmann: Attorney General

        1. Radio福井県

          That is so funny Barb, because my initial salutation to my reply was: Thanks Barb for making me puke on my keyboard.
          Is your passport dusted off? Because if this happens, the Radio station is off to British Columbia.

          1. Barb

            Radio, Jeffer has a job opportunity in Canada and we have room in the U-Haul. It's going to be horrible with my disturbingly insatiable desire to have a spotless house and homemade food. You stay alive, no matter what occurs! I will find you.

          2. Radio福井県

            De nada. Mrs. Radio and I are anti-clutter minimalists también. And, I tell this story often: I married a cute girl and got a gourmet chef out of the deal.

    6. George Spelvin

      These people.

      Shit, I was in the Air Force for a few years. On the one hand, I wasn't in long enough to become a junior colonel like Allen West, but on the other hand I wasn't forced out for being even a bigger piece of shit than the military could stand.

      BUT, I readily cede my place in the Wonketeer line-up of VPOTUS candidates to ttommy, who — living in Georgia as he does — would be a perfect electoral complement for either Rmoney or Mr. Faecescious. Close contact skills, also.

      #thisisajoke,tommy

  29. ThundercatHo

    Hopey, you can stop sending me emails about your fucking bumper stickers now. I'll vote for you but you can count me out for all the other work (and donations) that I did for your campaign in '08 cuz I've just had it with your Republican bullshit.

    1. littlebigdaddy

      Yeah the fake ones from Michelle are especially hurtful. If she was like, hey, if it weren't for BO, I'd totally do you, ok fine, but it's like enter to win dinner with me and my husband.

      1. flamingpdog

        Yeah, I've actually replied to a couple of the letters from Michelle with a pledge of zero Ameros, but the message that I think her hubby seems like a nice person and all, and I'm a gonna vote for him again, but I only give dollars to Dems, not moderate Republicans. She keeps sending me more letters, though, hoping I'll change my mind, I guess.

  30. Biff

    I'm thinking Oaksterdam might be one of those California colleges that santorum says doesn't even teach US history.

  31. littlebigdaddy

    Honestly, if it weren't for weed this country would be Euro-socialist by now. Weed makes you dumb and saps your energy and in many cases turns you into a conservative cunt, because you have become so fucking self-centered. Alcohol makes you a progressive because it is a constant reminder of human frailty.

  32. fuflans

    baby microwaving?

    shit. that's –

    LOOK OVER THERE!!! someone said SKULLFUCKING and r*tard!!

    1. flamingpdog

      Aw, give Mr. Jay a break. At least I didn't feel like slitting an artery after reading his post. I did crawl back down into my burrow and cry, though.

  33. LiberalMantra

    Tommy Chong's teaching now? No wonder American History is getting the short end of the bon– err, stick.

    1. James Michael Curley

      She is still looking pretty good. Saw her at the Qui Non AFB in early 69, maybe with the New Christie Minstrels. Maybe they were at separate times. I didn't even know Star Trek existed. One has rare opportunities to view TV in those circumstances.

    2. ThundercatHo

      Thank you, I can't wait to show my husband this pic. I'd love to have this in a large print to frame.

  34. oldedinvn

    Lucky me, living in a commonist country where they don't not have any freedoms except them that ain't not stupid. Here, a bit of weed is not illegal. Religion trying to interfere with gubiment is go to jail time . Best ever separation of church & state ever.

  35. ttommyunger

    I'm guessing Michele Leonhart either needs a really good horse-fucking or wears really comfortable shoes, which is it? Holder? He's just doing what he's told, like he's been doing his whole life. Pot? Meh. Methinks this "University" may have it's hands in several "pots".

  36. smashedinhat

    Everyone picks on stoners, because it's easy. It should be a crime to harsh ones mellow.

    Still waiting on that first post of the day! Tapping my foot!

  37. ifthethunderdontgetya

    In other Hopey-Holder news,

    Five Right-wing Supreme Court Justices side with Administration on strip searches:

    Numerous progressive commentators are lambasting the Supreme Court for its 5-4 ruling yesterday in Florence v. Bd. of Chosen Freeholders, and rightfully so. The 5-judge conservative faction held that prison officials may strip-search anyone arrested even for the most minor offenses before admitting them to the general population of a jail or prison, even in the absence of a shred of suspicion that they are carrying weapons or contraband.

    What virtually none of this anti-Florence commentary mentioned, though, was that the Obama DOJ formally urged the Court to reach the conclusion it reached.

    ~

    1. DahBoner

      Strip searches are part of Obamacare.

      You're supposed to ask the nice Policeman to check those suspicious polyps…

  38. James Michael Curley

    Herb Kohl (D-Milwaukee Bucs) had a hold on Michele Leonhart's nomination for a year before he withdrew it in Dec. 2010. I guess he decided to squeeze one out for Michele (another singleL) because WI dems took such a beating in 2010. He is retiring at the end of his term this year so he is not running for re-election.
    However, he had in Judiciary Committee (its there for obfuscation by the Repubs) The Nursing Home Resident Pain Relief Act of 2011 (S 1560) which would allow Seniors in Fed funded nursing homes (about all of them) to get "Schedule II" drugs. Which will circumvent the DEA's action which is blocking such prescriptions in many states where 'Medical marijuana" has been prescribed. You can call his office at 202-224-5653

  39. thefrontpage

    In other pot-related news, Marion Barry won his Democratic primary election race on April 3.

  40. chascates

    For not having a live-blog last night some people seem to be sleeping in today. Or did Newell get in yet another bar fight?

  41. prommie

    If he was going to raid a dope school, why not go after Liberty U.? Thats a place doing far far more damage to our society than weed ever did.

  42. WonkCynic

    It's always funny observing a liberal who has become disillusioned because one of the puppets in their party continues doing what puppets do. Any democrat who thinks the puppets who win the elections are going to reverse any of the policies and legislation that generate income for the legal industry by locking up idiots for dope needs to wake up. Just because your favorite politician hero stands in front of you and says things (lies) that are intended to earn your vote on election day, it does not mean they are actually going to follow through with any of their promises. Especially if they led you to believe that they'd be relaxing the drug laws. It has been amusing watching all of these medical marijuana advocates come out of the woodwork to reveal themselves over the past few years. Now that you've revealed yourselves, you will be watched closely until the next round of raids and lockups begins. Enjoy paying your legal fees. Your party will never let you grow a plant in your back yard that makes you feel good and competes with the pharma companies that sponsor their political rallies and campaigns. You've been had, yet again.

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