Whom Will Rick Santorum Blame For Tonight’s Loss In DC?

  fingerpointing blamegaming

Daddy drank up the filing feeThat’s right fuckers, we said whom. Also, it was a trick question, because sneery pouty whiny smegma-lipped box o’ outrage Rick Santorum has already blamed his loss in DC on the fact that DC won’t vote for an out-of-the-box insurgent kinda guy like him. But who is really to blame for Rick Santorum’s loss in DC? Did you guess … Rick Santorum, for not paying the ballot filing fee? WINNA WINNA WINNA! Oh Washington DC, why won’t you let us have nice things?

Here is Santorum spokesman Hogan Gidley (no shit) stone cold bein’ a lyin’ dick:

“Obviously Wisconsin is going to be a close race, we’re not sure about Maryland or Washington, D.C.,” Gidley said Tuesday on MSNBC. “We expect Mitt Romney to do well in the D.C., area, no shock there, in fact it might even be unanimous — I don’t know that we’ll pick up a single vote in D.C. because of the vitriol D.C. has for a someone like Rick Santorum who wants to shake things up here in Washington.”

Aaaaand again, to repeat: He failed to pay the ballot fee. Keep fucking that chicken, Rick. Keep fucking that chicken.

[TheHill]

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204 comments

    1. Callyson

      But where will that evil birth control come into play? I say the Frothy Mix will double down and blame all the blahs.

      1. Loaded_Pants

        Because she's the worst monster in history ever. Married to the 2nd worst monster in history, ever, also, too, and fundamentally.

  1. MarcelleMarceau

    Not blamed: Those who think the best way to tour DC is on the back of a Harley.

    1. Biff

      Which leaves me, wearing a t-shirt that reads: "if you can read this, the bitch fell off".

  2. PuckStopsHere

    There simply ain't nothing, no thing, this lying sack of shit and his minions will not look you right in the eye and LIE about. Nothing.

        1. SorosBot

          Here's a pre-emptive congratulations, then; stomping the frothy one is hard but satisfying work. Unlike Rick himself who's never hard or satisfying.

  3. elviouslyqueer

    Please. By "vitriol" Gidley obviously meant "a bunch of watermelon-slurping, fried chicken bone-throwing, Welfare-abusing field Negroes led by their king, Emperor Shaka Zulu Mandingo Obama and his uppity slutty wife, Hottentot Venus."

    1. Limeylizzie

      Have you seen this Gidley person, gay as a goose, no closet deep enough for his gayness not to shine. Bugger him for Jesus, and Wonkette, dearest EQ.

      1. Loaded_Pants

        "Hogan Gidley" sounds like the name of a barely closeted gay character in a Christopher Guest movie, like "Corky St. Clair".

  4. KennyFuckingPowers

    Top three from the messy blame storming session. Government ni_____, the blahs, or Trayvon.

      1. Chichikovovich

        And instead of arrows, people shoot unflattering nicknames at him. And Rick whines a lot more about it.

  5. MissTaken

    Just how much does it cost to get Santorum all over your ballot? I'm asking for purely educational purposes.

  6. straighteight

    It's not Rick's fault the atheist lords of the District of Sodombia don't accept Pope Pius X commemorative coins as legal tender.

      1. FROTHY

        Again, Crank_Tango? Again?

        I'll be back and sooner than you think, buddy. And then you 'n me, we're gonna have a little talk.

  7. SayItWithWookies

    Lesbians, witches, AU and Georgetown (he's up in the air about whether it's more racist to mention Howard or leave them off the list), secular humanists, socialists, atheists, a certain president who asked that the crucifix be covered up when he spoke at a chapel, teleprompters, left-wing new media such as Politico, Romney and his SuperPAC, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, that santeria church in Adams-Morgan, the National Weather Service, the Ice Bureau, the IPCC, the National Zoo, the Yellow Line, the Mixing Bowl, the statue of Albert Einstein, the Vietnam Veteran's Memorial, the chess players in Dupont Circle, PETA, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and the Rock Creek Parkway.

    1. SorosBot

      But Georgetown is a Catholic school, surely he wouldn't blame them! Oh, but wait, it's run by Jesuits, who tend to be liberal and therefore not true Christians, much less Catholics, to little Ricky.

  8. LastGasp

    Who's he going to blame? Well the Bible tells us that Eve created Original Sin by disobeying God and eating the forbidden fruit, so the answer is: women are to blame.
    Hope I cleared that up for ya.

  9. finallyhappy

    Hogan Gidley- really? I get it now- the whole thing has been a mockumentary and finally they are giving out clues. I won't go to see it in the theater but maybe when it gets to HBO

    1. bflrtsplk

      Where do they get these names? I thought they'd reached the limit with Rince Priebus or whatever. Santorum should have the decent to at least call himself Richard or, you know, Dick.

  10. Callyson

    OK, maybe Frothy Mix will expand his scope and blame people besides the blahs as well. Uppity womenfolk, the gheyz, and the liberal media have to be held accountable too you know.

  11. chascates

    ABC News:
    By Jan. 4, candidates had to either collect 296 signatures and pay $5,000 to the D.C. GOP, or forgo the signatures entirely and pay a higher fee of $10,000—a new option passed by the D.C. Council and signed by Mayor Vincent Gray in late December.
    Santorum’s campaign did not pay the fee, nor did it request a petition for signatures, according to a board official. In fact, the Santorum camp made no contact with the D.C. Board of Elections, the official said.
    Mitt Romney, by contrast, sent his son Josh to drop off 700 signatures at the D.C. elections board, in person, three weeks before the deadline.

    And I'm sure Josh Romney just pulled out his wallet and counted out five grand from his weekly allowance.

    1. bflrtsplk

      Counted? Sheeeuuutttt. He probably pulled a crumpled $5,000 bill from the inside pocket of his $20,000 windbreaker and made some crack about how it was less than he gave each of his wives for spending money – every day.

    2. FROTHY

      Given that Josh shares a $100 million trust fund with his four brothers, his "weekly allowance" probably runs into $20K, so yeah, for him, that would have been pocket change.

        1. Designer_Rants

          I don't even want to know what Rick would say if asked (by Katie "Gotcha" Couric, of course) "What do you read?"

          I'm guessing:
          -"Opus Dei Weekly",
          -"Modern Inquisition",
          -"How To: Silence Dissenters In Today's Theocracy ~By Mahmoud Ahmadinejad"
          -etc…

  12. BarackMyWorld

    I don’t know that we’ll pick up a single vote in D.C. because of the vitriol D.C. has for a someone like Rick Santorum who wants to shake things up here in Washington.

    Wow. Just….wow.

    That's Gingrich-levels of scapegoating. Holy fucking shit.

    1. Barrelhse

      The guy is a World-class jerk. It really makes you wonder about the people who find him likeable. Jeesh.

  13. __kth__

    That Georgetown Law strumpet probably lives in the district, come to think of it. But yeah, mostly the blah people.

  14. BarackMyWorld

    Bold prediction: Rick Santorum isn't going to win anything tonight and will be mathematically eliminated before he wins another primary.

    This thing's over, folks.

    1. Schmannnity

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Who will speak for the preconceived fetuses, against Big Fornication, and for billionaire gaming plutocrats?

      1. BarackMyWorld

        The next southern contest isn't until May. April is filled with northeastern states like New Jersey and New York that Romney's ahead in. Some of the April primaries are also winner-take-all. Romney is even polling close to Santorum in Pennsylvania.

        1. glamourdammerung

          I did not say I thought you were wrong, but merely hoping that you are. Even if I agree that it is definitely possible that this fiasco is coming to a close.

          1. BarackMyWorld

            I get what you mean now.

            I should correct myself, though, and point out Santorum has pulled way ahead in all but 2 polls, so he'll probably win Pennsylvania after all (though I think they are using a funky direct-election of delegates system, which may impact the outcome in Romney's favor if Santorum's organization does as poor a job getting their delegates on the ballot as they have in the past).

            I'm so sick of Santorum and Gingrich, I'm ready for this primary to be over.

          2. glamourdammerung

            I am wondering about what type of fallout there is going to be from superdelegates being the main reason Rmoney will in all likelikhood win on the first vote at the convention. Though I am probably kidding both of us since if there is one thing Republicans are good at, it is following marching orders.

    2. Steverino247

      I think you're correct. My original plot had Romney clinching the nomination when he wins all the Utah delegates in late June, but he's falling short of that pretty surely now with losses in IL and WI. He can drag out the final solution of the Santorum problem to June 5th, but that's all he can do.

  15. Generation[redacted]

    He didn't lose! His campaign was involuntarily euthanized by the Dutch government!

  16. sbj1964

    He will blame Romney,all that rich Mormon Money$$$$$.Can't believe the republicans are stoked about voting for a Liberal Mass. ex gov.,and Mormon? "I don't want to live on this PLANET any more." Professor Farnsworth.

    1. Warwhatgoodfor

      And the n******s. I mean, DC is just full of them. I mean, Martha, look at all them darkies! OMG!

  17. Preacher_Griz

    He will blame the Seven Princes of Hell….and rightly so. He will also blame the MSM, elitocrats, climatologists, left-handed people, the Conspiracy of Thorn, large unattractive technocrats, Keyenes and his merry troop of Keynesians, asian weed trimmer manufacturers, roaming packs of mexican rape squads, the squalor of the bankrupt spirit, communists free masons and other enemies of the Holy See, abortocrats, activist judiciaries in all their forms, Hugo Chavez, coptic mystics, the Canon of Dort, the lamb vindaloo, and unnamed adversaries near and far.

  18. DaRooster

    Well Ricky,
    As opposed to the Wisconsin (that elected Walker) there are also perhaps some intelligent people in DC… and they realize you are a moron.

  19. Mahousu

    Ricky's a typical hard-workin' (unemployed) American, just scrapin' by (on a few million). Already too many of his dollars are goin' to feed them fat cats in Washington, DC, and you want him to send MORE?

  20. Limeylizzie

    Is there liveblogging? I am on a plane headed from LAX to JFK, I may have a cocktail or two and then pound the guy in front of me, not in a good way, he has his fucking seat reclined so far back it's a wonder he doesn't get a nose-bleed.

    1. chascates

      It appears MittBot will win all 3 and in record time so probably no liveblog. But so far as the man seated in front of you simply cry out "OH GOD, my spine! This idiot has paralyzed me!" and see if that doesn't make a difference.

          1. Limeylizzie

            Mine or his? Noisy as in the slapping together of the lips of my love ditch? Or my piercing scream as I reach nirvana? I hate you because I am laughing loudly on the plane .

    2. C_R_Eature

      Lean over, close to his headrest,start coughing and making Retching noises.
      He'll move.

        1. C_R_Eature

          "Ooohh! Why did I eat all of that Pasta? And that red wine? Oooohhhhhh….." *belch*

      1. Limeylizzie

        I wouldn't mind so much but I am in business class and he is using up my precious extra leg room, he very nearly snapped the lid off my laptop.

        1. C_R_Eature

          It isn't Christie, is it?
          Regardless, there's just no excuse for that and it's clearly a gross violation of Airline Travel Etiquette.

          Ask the Attendant for a Taser.

          1. Limeylizzie

            He is not fat, well the back of his head is not fat, but he was already reclined before we took off, so the flight attendant had to tell him to put his seat upright, so I knew he was going to be a pain. I shall just document it all via Wonkette. I am also upset that the movie is Tintin, I loved that cartoon as a child before Hollywood got its hands on it.

          2. C_R_Eature

            Good, Share with us and we'll make you laugh so hard he'll have to tell you to quiet down. At least, that's my goal.
            That's a real shame about the Tintin movie. One of my secret joys is that Hollywood was never able to make a movie of one of my all-time favorite novels, Roger Zelazny's Lord of Light. The story of the failed film project is almost as weird and entertaining as the book, BTW

          3. Warwhatgoodfor

            OMG, Lord of Light is one of favorite all time sci-fi stories, any of the other stories Zelazny wrote.

          4. C_R_Eature

            It just doesn't get much better than that. I love Zelazny's use of language and puns, in addition to all the minutely constructed backstory, wild concepts and action.
            My Paperback is in such a sad state of affairs that I don't dare read it and I don't think that the Zelazny estate's released it for e-readers. I think I need to find another copy STAT.

          5. C_R_Eature

            After the fit hit the Shan it was all over.

            (The Best Worst pun in English Literature, IMHO.)

    3. Warwhatgoodfor

      Or, OMG, what is that between my legs? Steward person!!! He'll move faster than the now reconfirmed by CERN LHC speed of light!

    1. finallyhappy

      and yet, I saw that there were actually votes for Santorum here in Montgomery County. I think they may be all up county- but still it scares me!!!

      1. C_R_Eature

        Turnout's real light all across MD. The real action is in the Congressional races. It looks like Roscoe Bartlett will have to face a strong challenge from John Delaney, we'll probably have Donna Edwards, Ruppersberger,Sarbanes, Cardin, Hoyer, Van Hollen, Cummings back. John LaFerla is probably going to go up against the horrific Andy Harris in MD-1, though it's a long shot. Wayne Gilchrist robocalled me to support LaFerla and that says a whole lot about Andy Harris.

        1. C_R_Eature

          Thinkin'! That leads to Trouble! Right here in River City!
          Trouble with a T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pagans!

    1. flamingpdog

      Be sure to vote at the predator drone poll. I just voted for Canada and now it's tied with all of the above.

  21. V572 Hogan Gidley

    "…stone cold bein’ a lyin’ dick…"

    Hey! Look at me—would a man w/my haircut lie to you?

  22. chascates

    CNN Breaking News!
    President Obama clinches the Democratic presidential nomination by winning primaries in D.C. and Maryland, CNN projects.

    1. C_R_Eature

      That CNN is just so clever and on top of all the hot trends!

      I was really worried about the serious challenge Gus Hall presented, especially if he were to pick Angela Davis as VP

  23. Negropolis

    You guys are still missing the central question: How will Rick Santorum's loss affect Sarah Palin?

  24. gurukalehuru

    Yeah, Rick's a putz, but on another note, shouldn't it be illegal or something to charge a $5,000 filing fee (or any filing fee) to have your name on the ballot?
    I mean,isn't that basically discriminatory against somebody who doesn't have $5,000 or a pot to piss in, isn't in (in principle) commercializing the election process? What if the filing fee were $5 million?

  25. ttommyunger

    Whatever he blames, it will just be a warm-up for the story he'll have to come up with when he loses his home State, AGAIN! If he has any sense he'll drop out before that final humiliation, unless……..maybe he LIKES humiliation…….hmmmmm, things are starting to make sense……..

Comments are closed.