come to mamaKnown race-hustler B. Hussein NOobAma will introduce USA network’s 50th anniversary broadcast of the film version of the charming children’s story of a simpler, less complicated time in American life, To Kill A Mockingbird. Why is Obama injecting race into and making himself the focus of this classic tale of postracial America?

“I’m deeply honored that President Obama will be celebrating the 50th Anniversary of To Kill A Mockingbird by introducing it to a national audience,” Pulitzer prize winner and famously media-shy Lee says. “I believe it remains the best translation of a book to film ever made and I’m proud to know that Gregory Peck’s portrayal of Atticus Finch lives on — in a world that needs him now more than ever.”

Harper Lee is a known associate of negros and homosexuals. To Kill A Mockingbird airs on USA Saturday at 8 p.m. [THR, via Wonkette operative “chascates”]

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  • Come here a minute

    Obama should stick to bustin' up chiffarobes.

  • And Rick Santorum has recorded a very special introduction to "The Birth Of A Nation" for the FOX Movie Channel.

    • Angry_Marmot

      And then Ron Paul hosts Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS.

    • rickmaci

      And Newt Gingriech will do one for Triumph of the Will.

    • miss_grundy

      Is he wearing his special white hoodie with the matching bedsheet????????

    • oldedinvn

      I would hate to be in that delivery room.

  • Barb

    Wait until Fox news finds out about that book that Michelle let's her girls read. It starts out with a girl who blows into a new town and murders someone and then meets up with her new posse and they go on to murder again. It's by some gansta' named L. Frank Baum.

    • OneDollarJuana

      reminds me of that other story about the chick who o.d.'s herself into a coma and is a vegetable until some necrophiliac comes along and french-kisser her awake.

      Or the other one about the polygamist girl who has a thing for genetically-stunted people.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Or the girl who takes what must be LSD and hallucinates about talking animals, animated playing cards, and all sorts of other weird shit. The author was a bit of a perv, too.

        • JustPixelz

          Or the one where the young woman gets pregnant, tells her parents she's really, really, really still a virgin. Then her son grows up and he gets in trouble with the law and gets the death penalty. After the funeral his ghost solves crimes and kisses Demi Moore by transgendering into Whoopi Goldberg's body. Which is why to this day the Pope wears a dress. The end.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Oh my, you won me, especially given our weather here today.

      That lil girl Dot was a terror!

    • Sigh, I still remember Election Night 2008…

      (Seriously, that's an awesome number.)

      • Fare la Volpe

        You beautiful man! I used to adore that movie as a youngling (you know that one movie your toddler asks to watch every hour on the hour? Mine were The Wiz and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang), and I've been looking for an HD version of that song for God only knows how long.

        • Truth be told, I only saw that movie for the first time about 4 or 5 years ago, and that song/number in particular really blew me away. The movie is a really odd mixed bag of allegorical ghetto magic-realism and box-office-driven casting (Diana Ross, really?) but it has a strange charm.

          Also, which one is Diana Ross and which one is Michael Jackson, because their mannerisms and singing voices are nearly identical?

          • Extemporanus


    • Negropolis

      You made me strain a kidney I was laughing so hard. lol

    • JustPixelz

      And in the movie she says "we're not in Kansas anymore" like that's a bad thing.

    • oldedinvn

      I love romantic stories.

  • chascates

    Obama is Atticus Finch, that's it.

    • James Michael Curley

      He's going to shoot a rabid dog as it walks down the street in Tampa this year?

      • chascates

        Newt did say he would be there, so maybe.

  • SorosBot

    What's he going to do next, inject race into Guess Who's Coming To Dinner, Huckleberry Finn, Uncle Tom's Cabin, or Othello?

    • HippieEsq

      Sillly…those are banned books in REAL 'Merica.

    • You forgot Roots.

      • SorosBot

        Speaking of which I also forgot The Autobiography of Malcolm X.

    • OneYieldRegular

      You forget Plan B, by Chester Himes.

    • Dr. Nick Riviera

      Probs start hawking that communist theory the civil war and something to do with racism.

    • oldedinvn

      Birth of a Nation also too.

  • SayItWithWookies

    And why didn't they let Mitt Romney introduce it? He doesn't know any black people personally, but he's friends with several owners of black people.

    • tihond

      He was busy recording his intro to "Brewster's Millions"

      • BerkeleyBear

        I think "The Toy" is probably more appropriate.

        • Generation[redacted]

          It would be a good double feature with Rick Perry introducing Stir Crazy

    • kingofmeh

      they're going to let him introduce the film version of "a christmas carol," which mittens believes is a tragic tale of the descent into madness of a formerly successful industrialist.

    • Chichikovovich

      Mitt's going to introduce a special Job Creator's edition of "It's a Wonderful Life" that has the last fifteen minutes or so edited out.

  • Extemporanus

    What up, Boo?!

    • Radio福井県

      Boo who??!!

      • Extemporanus

        Heck if I know…

      • flamingpdog

        Doing your John Boner imitation again?

        • Extemporanus

          Ewell know it when you see it.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Oh, do! I hear it s jem.

    • stncmchnc

      Charlie don't surf.

  • STORY: Does Brad Pitt's Beane in 'Moneyball' = Gregory Peck's Finch in 'Mockingbird'?

    A: No. Fuck no.

    • BerkeleyBear

      In what fucking universe does that sentence get written? Is this an Onion article or something?

      • No, unfortunately it's in the universe of The Hollywood Onion Reporter.

        • Gleem McShineys

          Seriously now. Really. Seriously. Stop joking.

          Because everyone knows the CORRECT equivalence is Joe Piscopo's Moe Dickstein in Wise Guys.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Not Joe Pesci in My cousin Vinnie?

  • metamarcisf

    Instead of Gregory Peck and Brock Peters, the Fox remake will feature Chuck Norris and Kirk Cameron.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Will they protect the poor white xtian from being railroaded by an all-atheist jury?

    • sewollef

      Steven Seagal's a perfect fit for this role…. he will be a grizzled ex-marine or something, with a broken marriage thanks to protecting America from all those dark-skinned bad guys, who then — paradoxically — turns to protecting darkies instead of protecting Amerika 24/7.

      There will be some explosions and gun-play as assorted bad guys [their colour still to be determined in the script], attempt to force federal law onto law-abiding and genteel southern gentlemen.

      It'll be great. It's already being talked about as a possible oscar nomination for 2013. I have no connection to the scriptwriters or casting director. Really.

  • MissTaken

    What? You mean Rue in that Hunger Game Mockingjay movie is a BLACK??? Damn you Noobama!

    • terriblyfamous

      Those racist motherfuckers need to work on their reading comprehension skills.

      • Seriously. IIRC, (having just read the book this past weekend, in preparation for seeing the movie with The Lady) Rue's described not just as being brown-skinned, but as having, specifically, "satiny brown skin". There… aren't many ways she could be not black, honestly.

    • sullivanst

      Just when you thought you couldn't possibly lose any more faith in humanity…

    • SorosBot

      Wrote another, "Kk call me racist but when I found out Rue was black her death wasnt as sad "

      OK, you are a racist, a giant flaming racist turd shitburger; please do humanity a favor and get off this planet.

    • Oh for fucks sake.

  • SorosBot

    To be serious for a second, though, To Kill a Mockingbird was the first book I had to read for school that I actually enjoyed – before that it was boring crap like Our Town. It deserves it's place as a classic, and it's a shame that Lee never wrote any more novels.

    • flamingpdog

      She can't – Truman Capote's dead.

      Oh, wait!

      • Geminisunmars

        At last I shall be able to get to sleep nights. (Thank you, FP. Wonkette readers share such good material with each other.)

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Uh-oh. They put this out on NPR? Won't that make the Teatards obligated to take the opposite side? Because… just because.

      • Loaded_Pants

        I've always had the theory that he made some boast to someone, while in a drunken stupor, that he wrote it because he hated the fact that Lee won a Pulitzer & he didn't. But that's my own pet theory about how the rumor got started.

    • DustBowlBlues

      I loved it when we read it in English class and it remains one of my two or three favorite books to this day. (The other is Wuthering Heights and Lonesome Dove comes and goes.) The Lees are and always were Methodists, just like Atticus. Best film adaptation of a book, ever. I cannot make jokes about TKAM.

      • Loaded_Pants

        Same here. I think it was the only assigned book that I actually liked.

      • Geminisunmars

        Ah, Lonesome Dove was one of my top 10 as soon as I read it. Strangely, I haven't been able to get enthused about any other McMurtry.

        • Loved the mini-series, then enjoyed the book as well.

  • Canmon

    The lesson of "To Kill a Mockingbird": Bitches lie about rape.

  • Better be colorized and in 3D.

    • HarryButtle


  • AlterNewt

    "Conception begins when Barack Obama injects race into your classic American tale."

  • "Harper Lee?" sounds like a woman's name.

    • Negropolis

      Plus, she could read and she wrote a book, so she is a witch, essentially.

  • ttommyunger

    To be fair, most Rightards will tune out assuming it is a documentary by the Audubon Society.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      No way, it's a huntin show! Yee ha!

      • ttommyunger

        Bird-Hunting Show…..FIXED!

  • MittsHairHelmet

    Like the rest of Real America, I'll be watching Swamp People instead.

    • MissTaken

      Hillbilly Handfishin' fer me!

      • Haven't you used your body as an amusement park enough today?!

  • orygoon

    Finally a happy post. Gregory Peck, Harper Lee, and Barak Obama for a massive quantity of win!

    • DustBowlBlues

      Ain't that the truth?

  • flamingpdog

    And if this works out well, USA Network will have George W. Bush and Herman Cain introduce their 18-year anniversary showing of "Dumb and Dumber" later this year.

    • oldedinvn

      Huh? I thought that was a documentary of Umerica.

  • Callyson

    MFer, I want more movie!

  • Blueb4sunrise

    I was asked to do an intro to Fapper in the Rye.

  • bnerd85

    Mitt Romney will be introducing audiences nation wide to the spectacle of the Wizard of Oz…. and he will reveal that he got cut from the original movie as the character in search of a personality.

    • Geminisunmars

      Best Tee-shirt my hubby ever had (and is now faded from being worn and washed since 2000) was one with a picture of Dubya as Strawman and Cheny as Tin Man, with caption for Dubya "If I only had a brain", and for Cheney "If I only had a heart." At least one of them got his wish.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      He was cut because he kept swiping the yellow bricks, whenever nobody was looking.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I read that whole book and I still don't know how to kill a mockingbird.

    • Dr. Nick Riviera

      Single biggest disappointment since The Neverending Story

  • Talk about elitist! An uncolorized black and white movie without any explosions?

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Is this the movie where the black guy fights off all the zombies? I love that movie!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Close. Surprisingly close.

  • flamingpdog

    Oh great, now I'm thirsty.

  • Mahousu

    In NOObama's version, America apologizes to the mockingbird instead of killing it.

  • JackObin

    Can I introduce the Weater Channel's reading of Sartre's "Being and Nothingness"?

    • oldedinvn

      Nah. Wait for the reading of Tis Pity She's (he, it or all) is a Whore, in the original.

  • Generation[redacted]

    "I'm tired of all these mutherfucking mockingbirds in this mutherfucking coutroom."

    Classic movie. Just classic.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Well, if a badass like Saml. L Jackson had played the Tom Robinson role, perhaps that escape scene might have gone down differently.

  • FakaktaSouth

    "If I had a trial in the South, it would look like Tom Robinson's"

    Harper Lee, intelligent female, from Alabama.
    I just like saying a nice thing about this God foresaken place whenever it is possibly possible.

  • elviouslyqueer

    From the comments:

    Really? A 20+ year member of Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s Church of Hate and
    Bigotry is going to be introducing the film? Good thing I will be watching ‘The Ten Commandments’ on ABC this Saturday which I doubt Obama will be watching since there are Jews in it.

    God, these people.

    • Oh, I'm sure nobody in the cast of "The Ten Commandments" ever engaged in any lascivious Hollywood debauchery! (I'm looking at you, wife-cloning John Derek.)

    • MosesInvests

      I doubt Obama will be watching it because he'll be busy having a Passover Seder with his Jewish staffers. God, these people, indeed.

      • Loaded_Pants

        I doubt Obama will be watching it because it's always on every damn year, everyone's seen it already, and it's four and half fuckin' hrs long.

        • Geminisunmars

          And it is really a pretty sucky movie, too.

          • MosesInvests

            Actually, a pretty good movie treatment of the whole Exodus story is, believe it or not, "Prince of Egypt".

          • VicariousMe

            Quite actual too. ♪Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill♪.

          • MosesInvests

            One thing I like is that they pronounce the Hebrew names correctly. That, and Tziporah (a Midianite, ie Arab woman) isn't a pale redhead. Sheesh. OTOH, it's a tossup between Yul Brynner and Ralph Fiennes as to who was the most badass Rameses.

    • The only way to watch "The Ten Commandments" is while throwing a big ol' campy party where all the guests have to dress as their favorite characters, which I keep threatening to do one of these years. Although that kind of party is something I might have done 20 years ago when I wasn't old and married.

      • Geminisunmars

        Ooooh. OOohh. Can I come as the burning bush?

      • FakaktaSouth

        I have never seen this movie. I HAVE seen the one where Mel Brooks drops the 5 we didn't need anyway, so I feel like I could still contribute to a conversation at this party of yours.

      • Loaded_Pants

        Also, give it the mst3k treatment.

      • paulabflat

        i'll be nefertiri. cause, you know, i look just as much like an ancient egyptian as anne baxter did. maybe more.

        and moses took the rod of god in his hand.

    • OneYieldRegular

      "Look grandfather – Nubians!"

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Yeah, because The Ten Commandments is chock full of Jews. Jews like Charlton Heston, Yul Brynner, Anne Baxter, Yvonne DeCarlo, Vincent Price, Cedric Hardwicke, Nina Foch, John Carradine oh wait, Edward G. Robinson was Jewish, so there was at least one Jew in the movie, even if he was a liberal.

  • Poindexter718

    With special guest star Sen. Tim Johnson (D-Minn.), as himself.

  • johnnymeatworth

    Wait till you find out how he introduces "Mandingo…."

  • In Rick Santorum's America, "A Raisin In The Sun" will only be performed with an all-white cast!!

    • Geminisunmars

      His version will be "A Prune in the Sun".

      • Loaded_Pants

        The sequel: "Runs in the Sun".

    • OneYieldRegular

      Or with an actual raisin. These people don't "get" literature.

      • Generation[redacted]

        An ensemble cast starring the California Raisins!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Also Porgy and Bess, also.

    • emmelemm

      In blackface.

    • flamingpdog

      In Rick Perry's America, it would be "A-Raisin' Hell in the Sun". YEE-HAA!!

  • Aticus!

  • LettucePrey

    In other news, Newt Gingrich will introduce "Song of the South" on the Disney channel.

  • Troglodeity

    In other news, Mitt Romney's introduction of "Homeward Bound" on Animal Planet did not go well.

  • obfuscator2

    "miss jean louise, stand up. your father's passin'."

    • I can make myself cry just to think of Rev. Sykes telling Scout that.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Arguably, a more incendiary work than Huck Finn, but in my school district, we read Mockingbird a year earlier.

    & I am pretty sure a certain epithet is in both (though in greater number in Huck).

    • oldedinvn

      You make me almost wish I could read.

  • sbj1964

    In todays economy Mocking bird is the new Chicken. Thanks to the GOP.

  • It's a little unusual though that they have scheduled "Blackula" to run in the timeslot immediately thereafter.

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