Dude, total good one, Fox Nation:
Michelle Obama, who has quickly become the Obama campaign’s tip of the spear when it comes to fundraising and vote-getting, is now stumping for children to convince their “great-grandparents” to vote for her husband.
We see what you did there!
Congratulations, you have just made us miss Orange County hilarious person “B-1″ Bob Dornan like the dickens! We must get “lesbian spearchucker” back into the lexicon but pronto!
Anyway, the rest of the three paragraph story “Michelle Obama Tells Kids Their Parents Are ‘Wrong’” is about Michelle Obama saying something, something, dunno, something terrible we guess. Here, here are the other two paragraphs, so you don’t have to click through.
I mean, I can’t tell you in the last election how many grandparents I ran into who said, I wasn’t going to vote for Barack Obama until my grandson talked to me, until my great-grandson talked to me, and talked about the future he wanted for this country.
You can get out there with your parents. You guys can knock on doors. I had one young lady who brought me a petition — she’s already working. You can convince wrong people. Sometimes we don’t listen to ourselves, but we will listen to our children.
BURN HER.
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I've got a tip for Michelle.
FYI: Her husband has nuclear weapons.
He'd be much more subtle. He'd use those drones that can fly up your colon and make you die from internal bleeding. It's got to be true, I read it on the web.
Just the tip?
Of course! "Buy low, sell high."
Ya pack of preverts!
You've been here HOW LONG, and you did not know this? Dirty, filthy preverts, the whole lotta us.
So she is the 4077th's ringer?
Thank you for the Robert Altman's M.A.S.H. reference. Don't let him kiss you, Hawkeye.
Bring me the haughty bitch with fire in her eyes.
Wow…that photo makes her look like she just stepped out of 'Get Christie Love'.
"Christie Love" is what you get when you deliver a crate of Krispy Kremes to the Governor of New Jersey.
Fox Nation needs a tip of the spear right through their white sheets and hoods.
More than likely, them there sheets ain't not too white.
Think nocturnal stains or the word I can't not spil.
Everything that woman does is wrong!
Funny, that
She should suggest that we "unzip the real Barack."
'Scuse me while I whip this out.'
Oh it's twue it's twue!
Obasm!
I doubt many Wonketteers would need to be told…
Then we'd see the real tip of the spear.
And have the smelling salts ready for all the ladies swooning.
fap fap fap fap!
I guess we hope he stands firm and tall?
RMONEY ain't too stiff, Ann sez "unzip him and see." Michelle don't say nothin, but that smile on her face has GOT to have a reason.
You can totally tell by the way he strolls across the grass after he's gotten out of Air Force One that he's packing. The rolling hips and the grin. Oh yeah, like a book, that one.
"You can convince wrong people." No, Madame First Lady, you can not. Our only option is to breed more rapidly than they do
Where does the line form?
I hate this "left-wing eugenics" bullshit. Stoopid white-trash crackers give birth to useful, empathic human beings, and vice-versa. How many of us here have wingnuts and teatards for parents?
It IS bullshit. Thanks for calling it out. My mother thought Hitler was a GREAT MAN because he made the trains run on time. When we pointed out that most of those trains were carrying people to be tortured and slaughtered, she dismissed that as irrelevant.
"I wasn't going to buy a busty, red-headed replicant for my 8-yr old grandson, but he really wanted it," said some old dumb shit.
Huey from The Boondocks got to meet The Queen?!? Jealous!
Convincing people to talk… to their families… about things that matter?
Pure evil!
BALLS!
I'm still waiting on someone to call her a 'negress'. My money's on RushBo….
This might be obscure but I have always loved Lt. Uhura's response to that term. Quite persuasive for an AA actress on early 60's television.
You're going to have to post a link J_W.
But why should I object to that term, sir? You see, in our century we've learned not to fear words.
Very nice–unfort. I guess we're still a few centuries away from enlightenment. Crap, we haven't even gotten the jet packs we were promised by now!
We're way behind on the Jetsons style future we were promised.
Abraham Lincoln: What a charming Negress. Oh, forgive me, my dear. I know in my time some used that term as a description of property.
Uhura: But why should I object to that term, sir? In our century, we've learned not to fear words.
Futuristic Mumbo Jumbo indeed…
"In our century, we've learned not to fear words, like manic-depressive face fungusoid cracker honky bitch I cut a motha' fucker!"
Fixed.
my money is on 'goddess'.
Meh…"tip of the spear" is a pretty innocuous statement. It's generally a military thing that implies a person or a unit that is at the forefront of an attack.
Michelle certainly is well armed.
Aim those diamond hard spear tips my way, Michelle!
Who the hell takes voting advice from a 6 year old? Once my son told me he didn't like Obama and I asked why. He told me because Mommy doesn't like him. Then I told him "Mommy voted for Dubya and doesn't have a job right now. Besides it don't matter if you like him or not. YOU DON'T VOTE."
My niece was the only kid in her 2nd grade to vote for Obama in their mock election (non-Detroit/Ann Arbor Michigan). We were proud of her that she held her ground even when the other kids said things about Obama such as that he wants to kill babies or is a Muslim. When Obama won, we told her to be gracious in victory but I suspect a wee bit of gloating went on there.
My daughter (9 years old) said her friends parents don't like Obama because he takes their parents' money & gives it to poor people. I told her to tell them that's what Jesus would do, too. I haven't heard anymore talk of politics from them.
Did your daughter get told a story about how "The eye of the needle" was actually really totally a gate in Jerusalem that you had to kind of concentrate hard to make it through?
Don't make me whip out my Aramaic factoid!
Amazing that these good Christians seem to miss rather large and critical sections of the Bible.
When my niece visited us here in Pinko Commie Maryland (our State motto), she kept asking people "Do you root for Obama?". When they said yes, and the great majority did, she said "Me, too!" and want to talk about him.
If Jesus of Nazareth were to come back and walk this Earth, his first response to his so-called "biggest fans" would be "who the hell are these old queens in fish hats / big-haired super-rich? These are the kind of people who NAILED ME UP."
You, Baconz, are married to a Republican?
EX married! EX MARRIED! I can not stress the EX part enough.
Needs moar roughage. Are these Justice Scalia's unconstitutional broccoli spears?
Shaka Zulu Libel!!!!!
“I mean, I can’t tell you in the last election how many grandparents I ran into who said, I wasn’t going to vote for Barack Obama until my grandson talked to me.”
My oldest son is a straight up proponent of Anarcho-syndicalism he and my Rush Limbaugh listing father never quite found common ground in any of their political conversations.
ha. i have that book.
no i actually have that book.
Michell Obama FirstWhoreSlutPig is Cordially invited to kindly GoFuckHerSkankSlutSelf
Oh Fox Nation commentators, you so classy.
Some times I go on to the Fox Nation comments section to see how NOT to look like a douche bag on the interwebz.
And those are the ones they don't delete.
PLEEEEEEEASE VOTE FOR OBAMA. I'LL NEVER ASK FOR ANYTHING EVER AGAIN.
You had me at PLEEEE.
Have you voted for Obama yet?
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Have you voted for Obama yet?
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Have you voted for Obama yet?
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Have you voted for Obama yet?
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Have you voted for Obama yet?
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Have you voted for Obama yet?
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.
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How many days 'till November?
Is that a lot?
Is it more than to Christmas?
Is it more than my birthday?
Hey black dude in the tux. Stop checkin' out Baconz' chick.
Ahahaha. Get in line.
So Fox now sees Michelle as possessing the tip of the spear? Paging Dr. Freud ….
Purely unintentional, just like when Coretta King gave W a portrait of MLK, and W said "I can't wait to hang it." That evil fuck.
Wait, she throws the javelin too? Awesome.
If I didn't see that photo I would never have believed they would have the Queen for a State Dinner – and then force her to pay the bill for the whole thing.
But, she did snag a second iPod full of Obama's speeches.
Whatever kept FOX from doing a drape/carpet smear, I do not know (if I wasn't a-feared of the Hope Camps, I might make that joke, too).
Actually seems pretty evolved for that lot. They didn't use the words 'Nubian' or 'Negress' or 'uppity' anywhere.
Would "Nubian" be acceptable if it was followed by "goddess"?
This new outreach is expected to cause donations from Muslim-Americans to explode.
You can get out there with your parents. You guys can knock on doors.
Or you can follow Newt's advice and clean the toilets at your school.
Cake or death?
Better to be the tip than the shaft.
Hush yo' mouth!
Sarah Silverman did it first!
Listen to our children?
That would be like listening to my father (the one that sent me the Barry on a food stamp pic)… There is no one under 25 with an IQ over 25… or so it seems in this neck of the woods… so glad I knew everything when I was 21 or so.
Michelle's hair is FIERCE in that picture. RuPaul's Drag Race, here she comes!
**Takes a deep breath and types…**
It's hard to see where her hair ends and the bush begins.
I'm sorry!! I'm sorry!! I had to say it!!
(Actually, it does look a bit like the fro my mother had in 1970)
Tarantino made a film about the first lady. It's called "Jackie Brown"
Just take a small trip to HuffPo and see Michelle looking so hot.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/01/michelle…
I'll be back in a few minutes…
Looking like that is the best revenge.
Hammena-hammena-hammena.
OT Dick"Dick" Cheney has left the hospital after stealing a heart.
Rotten bastard is never going to die is he Lizzie….too bad for us.
I would like him to go on trial , be found guilty, imprisoned, buggered repeatedly and receive substandard healthcare.
Did you realize receiving substandard health care IN PRISON is deemed cruel and unusual punishment, but in Jesusland it is merely the invisible hand job of the market?
Bone in the nose reference in 5, 4, 3, . . . .
Republican women don't do that–ergo all the bathroom stall incidents, prostitution visits and rentboy.com transactions.
Those thin, tight lips on them just aren't made for b.j.'s.
*blush*
I don't kiss and tell.
My grandparents are all dead and even they are going to vote for Obama!
I'll bet that old White woman is writing him a check for $2 for carrying in her bags…
She was a swimmer in college…..'nough said about her body and flexieness.
Broke my heart though.
Luckily, all the women of Wonkette love you.
I have no regrets. I got 2 nice boys, learned alot about custody and divorce law, and I met Limeylizzie.
If she actually had a Fro like the picture suggests, I'd be pitching a cop series for her to HBO.
Just LOOK at her hair in that photo! She has like a 2-foot Afro!
she is really returning to her roots. I bet there is a comb in that thang.
Another administration, same idea.
Note to ms. O. I would rather be a spear chucker than an asshole.
2nd note. Damn. I wisheded I kuld look as a man as you do a lady.
To conservatives there is absolutely nothing worse than a strong black woman. I don't get angry when the bottom-feeders call her "moochelle," I get giddy because it's only going to get worse for them. Embrace that "white pride" while you can, you racist mouthbreathing inbred crackaz.
Fear makes people stupid. Stupid people anyway. I mean people who are afraid of spears.
Stupid makes them afraid. It is like one of those cycle thingies, the self perspirating kind.
Gramma, it would be so like totally awesome :) ya' know, if when it's time for that election thing to, like, come, if Mrs. Obama could come over and bake us a chocolate broccoli cake and give you a thousand dollars and, like, fill in your vote thing for you, so all you have to do is sign your name, and I can do that, like OK? And I need some new jeans, too, please, you're the Greatest Oldz I know? Better than that bitch Brianna's gramma, Way.
You do realize only idiots pay any attention to "Fox Nation", right?
Idiots and the happy mutants who ridicule them and pelt them with snark.
Leaves me out, never watched it…..never will. Have a nice day.;)
If she blew him every morning before breakfast, he would probably still be married to her.
But she would still be a Republican.
True – but it's amazing how stupid men become with regular blowjobs.
That's one of the things I like about them!
that fro is really happening, girl.
I find it soothing to go to the Fox Nation forums and calmly correct their grammar in their rants.
Well, I'm sure that on Sunday or Monday, Fox will make a reference to bunnies and the jungle.
My dad used to call me and my cousins "yard apes" when we were kids. Ah, the days of growing up in rural South Carolina.
B1 Bob and his grotto! Heartz, you crazy bastard!
I still have the flinstones car, where you put your feet through the hole in the floor and run.
WHIP it, Boojum. Whip it good!
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