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Smegma lips that touch liquor shall never touch mineIt is an excellent question, the one we have just posed right there in the headline. Is Rick Santorum a gutter drunk? Buzzfeed investigates, and seems to have photographic proof that yes, Rick Santorum is a gutter drunk. Here is a Twitter showing him drinking beer at 11:30 a.m. because if he doesn’t, he will have the DTs, because of how he is a terrible alcoholic who is addicted to alcohol (PROBABLY) and maybe other drugs too, why not. We hope for the sake of his 54 children that he is somehow able to kick his habit of constantly drinking premium beers all day and night forever, maybe by following in the footsteps of only-cool-Republican-ever and certified nice lady Betty Ford. The First Step, Rick, is to admit you are powerless over delicious beer and then find a higher power to believe in. A nicer one than you currently believe in, probably, because That Dude sucks. [Via Buzzfeed]

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