[via Yahel Carmon]
IS THIS HOW AP REPORTERS SPEAK TO THEIR MOTHERS? 3:25 pm April 2, 2012
BREAKY BREAKY BREAKING NEWS FROM THE AP…
Hola wonkerados.
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{ 132 comments }
Thank GOD! I was afraid I was going to have to get my breast exam at Hooter's this year.
I bet you could get it done here at Wonkette for half-price.
Do I have to wait for a referral?
I'll do it for free, and give you some yakisoba, too!
I'd be happy to refer you, but I'll need to examine them and maybe take some films first.
Actor, Polaroid films? : )
Doorbell: Ding dong.
Barb: Who is it?
Land Shark: [mumble]
Barb: Speak up, I can't hear you.
Land Shark: Door to door breast exam.
Land Shark, do you have a candygram?
I love your comment!
Depends on how many suiters…err…nurses, yes, nurses, are lined up.
Half-price? Hell, we'll just throw it in with your $50 abortion.
Well, the Supremes just held up invasive strip searches in jails because terrorism, so just get arrested for a minor offense. Or be arrested for no reason at all, it's all good.
http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/04/02/1098…
"Is that a gun in your pocket or are you happy to see me? Better pull them off now, citizen…"
No, no, no breasts. Hooters's specialty is wings.
And other phrases I will probably never say.
OBASM?
"I'll have what he's having."
–Mitt Romney
I would have thought the privilege of having an Obasm would be limited exclusively to Michelle, but looks like Daddy's feeling generous today.
Single payer healthcare is not dead!
Single
payerlayer healthcare is not dead!Obasm – that's what the ladies get when Bammerz sings Al Green…
And I think all Wonkette's lady readers are off to, uh, take a break at that thought.
I'm back, complete with rosy cheeks and a smile on my face.
You've probably got your little scrunchy-nosed satisfied look on your face now too; such is the power of the thought of the Obasm.
Hey now!
Don't worry; you know I'm not jealous. Besides I've been thinking of a Michelle Omasm myself.
May I recommend a "marital aid":
http://www.neatoshop.com/product/Obama-Adult-Mask
Is it bad that when I saw "adult mask" that I was almost sure it'd have a whole in the mouth area? lol
Dude, don't embarass the lady and her O-face
Unless you post pictures.
Yes, that was quite a satisfying lunch…
"If things go well I might be showing SCOTUS my O-face."
Throw away those Popsicle sticks and duct tape. Viagra for everyone!
Duct tape is not half as much fun taking off as it is putting on.
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
OW!
I'm guessing you don't shave.
and another wonkette trope is born.
It is so cute, and it has our eyes.
Trope? Is that Bristol's little boy?
"If you're snarking on Wonkette for pleasure and not for the sole purpose of meme procreation, you are a sinner!"
-aternate universe Rick Santorum
Obasms are 100% santorum free.
I know more than a few people that might disagree.
is barry taking the same meds as rick perry?
Meanwhile Rombot suddenly got floppier.
And Ron Paul stayed flat.
Back in 2008, my lady had an Obasm too.
I was in the kitchen making a sammich at the time, the bitch.
At least someone is…
Free Cialis and contraception? Obasm indeed.
In related news, Romneycare is still stiff.
Upon his re-election, Multiple Obasms?
In reality, turtle-American Mitch McConnell diligently works against multiple orgasms, as well.
I only hope this Obasm is not premature.
BREAKING
I remain confident that no matter what happens, it will be Obama's fault!
Copyright 2112 Antispandex. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
You may want to move that copyright back a century, or someone else may copyright it before you!
DAMN IT! Screwed up a perfectly good snark with a typo! Oh well, it will still be valid in the 21's.
He had me at O.
Obasm!
"We now return to our regularly scheduled program already in progress…"
Mitt's poll is pointing down, while Obama is up. It's looking like Mitt is going to lose the erection.
I have little doubt Mitt will pull out early and turn on the ballgame.
Wasn't one of editrix's rules no making fun of orientals?
Wait! What's the big deal about the Ohio Branch of the American Society for Microbiology?
I mean, I know it's annual meeting is this month, but come on!
Microbiologists are sexy!
A lot of them have a great pair o' meciums, yeah.
"Not true," responds Alito.
I hear it clears up the acne too.
"It really works, Jen, but you have to swallow it"
Did Barry get a peak at some of the olde SCOTUM's EKGs?
Never combine "Barry", "peak" and what looks at a glance like "olde SCROTUM" in a comment!!
And one-handed speelink of peek, not so good….
Once you've had an Obasm a plain old Orgasm will simply not do.
"Once you go barack," as they say.
I think Rick Perry has been sharing his stash of happy pills.
Is it their state of mind that they are always referred to as "the High Court'?
…was Barack singing again? Even though I'm a guy, I felt a little moist after hearin' him sing, so this makes sense.
Is… is an Obasm what I think it is?
If you don't know you've never had one.
Oh. Oh. OH. OHHH! OH!!! Oh yes!! Oh yes!! Yes! Yes! Yes!
Maybe I need to get an invite to the White House after all…
Oh. Oh. OH. OHHH! OH!!! Oh yes!! That's change I can BELIEVE IIIIIIIIN!!
Fixed.
It's mythical, in that it's always faked.
Skyrockets in flight! Commander-in-chief delight!
We could re-title Barry's time in the White House as "The Story of O" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073115/
Michelle's initials aren't "M.O." without cause. Just sayin'.
Somewhere, Sara Benincasa is opening her reply from Urban Dictionary. . .subject line, "Congratulations."
A President Christie couldn't achieve re-erection….
And how would he know? He hasn't laid eyes on it in years.
He used to feel it whenever he saw tender delectable babby.
Copyright 2012 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
Dammit, I was just about to look for the Obasm video on RedTube for purely educational purposes.
Obasm is the code word to start the Reptilian invasion. I, for one, welcome our scaly overlords.
I have my resume ready. I will apply as a slatherer; rubbing fine, scented oils on their poor, parched scales. I will have high position and favor.
The Obasm is so strong it is felt throughout Washington.
Strong enough to even delete comments apparently.
Might have been Chris Christie falling out of bed, in Jerusalem.
Not to be outdone, Bo Obama, sensing the big fuss, broke free from his leash in pursuit of the nearest bitch in heat, with whom he started gettin' it on and brought on a… (don't make me say it)…?
Bo is having sex with dogs? Santorum thinks that behavior is extremely homosexual.
Bobasm, bananafanafofasm, mimymomasm?
Bobasm, bobasm, fee fi fofasm, banafana fofasm. . . .
Ditto, and ditto to actor212 too. That song began playing in my head right as I typed that.
Obasm, more of a place than a feeling.
I've been to paradise, but I have never been to…Obasm. (I bet everybody thought I was going to say "me".)
He is daring them to do it, to take coverage away from a couple of million people. Whats the average margin of victory, the past 4 or 5 presidential elections?
I have obasms all the time. I scream out, "YES, I CAN CUM!"
I feel like this post, with its luring headline only to be followed by a one-word news item, was somewhat anti-climactic.
WASHINGTON — Ejacunewell.
If the abortions are $50, how much are the obasms? Can I get a quantity discount?
I don't know if they come in bulk.
Is an Obasm what you get when you massabate?
If it's uppity.
That was terrible.
Thank you, thank you. I'm here every night except Wednesday and Wednesday, two shows, 7 and 11.
*AP AP AP*
++
^fisted
That's hard to beat.
Shawna?
Is 'Obasm' Kenyan for Obama?
Any reaction to this news from Palin?
She's bakin' bread in there.
And Biden's thinking about makin' bacon.
This had me in spasms.
Slightly off-topic, but what is up with even Obama's own supporters calling his plan "Obamacare"? I guess they don't want to call attention to the reform plan's history with the Heritage Foundation and Mitt Romney, but, damn, talk about letting conservatives define the discourse…
Name's not going away, might as well embrace it. Anyway, they figure why not have people associate the President with-no denials for "pre-existing conditions", no lifetime caps, coverage for young adults. "Obama got you healthcare"-yeah, that's a decent campaign slogan.
That's what happened the minute it hit the court.
Plus, "Affordable Health Care for America Act" is such a mouthful. But, I otherwise agree. I can't for the life of me figure out why the administration and its supporters haven't put out human interest commercials showing people who this act have helped. For the past two-and-a-half years, all we've heard is the opposition. You'd think that this bill hasn't helped a single soul, and it's helped literally millions of people. How they've handled this has been an abomination.
I'm gonna get that on my license plate.
Last time I had an Obasm I had a hard time walking until it went away.
Obasm, Obasm, one two three
Tie a yellow corpse-tag on the GOP
Blue states waiting impatiently
From Alcatraz to Lady Liberty
ACA and predator drones
The White House knows how to make us moan
Obasm? Is that the AP version of DRUDGE SIRENS?
Strip searches by the police are now considered "health care"?
is this one of those hard to find lady parts things?
Oh, Barry, oh Barry, oh Berry….YES! And "boom" goes the dolomite.
Damn!
For a minute there, I thought you were going to say Dick Cheney is still dead…
I know at least five old cunts in black robes who read this headline and burst out laughing.
I have a lindseygram. Will that get me in the front door?
Poor Land Shark. He never fools anybody; they always guess it's him because of the background music.
Isn't a lindseygram more suitable for the back door?
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