About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
What Others Are Reading

Hola wonkerados.

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        1. tessiee

          Doorbell: Ding dong.
          Barb: Who is it?
          Land Shark: [mumble]
          Barb: Speak up, I can't hear you.
          Land Shark: Door to door breast exam.

          1. tessiee

            Poor Land Shark. He never fools anybody; they always guess it's him because of the background music.

  1. Giveusabob

    I would have thought the privilege of having an Obasm would be limited exclusively to Michelle, but looks like Daddy's feeling generous today.

  2. SorosBot

    And I think all Wonkette's lady readers are off to, uh, take a break at that thought.

      1. SorosBot

        You've probably got your little scrunchy-nosed satisfied look on your face now too; such is the power of the thought of the Obasm.

          1. SorosBot

            Don't worry; you know I'm not jealous. Besides I've been thinking of a Michelle Omasm myself.

          1. Negropolis

            Is it bad that when I saw "adult mask" that I was almost sure it'd have a whole in the mouth area? lol

    1. Gleem McShineys

      "If you're snarking on Wonkette for pleasure and not for the sole purpose of meme procreation, you are a sinner!"

      -aternate universe Rick Santorum

    1. Gleem McShineys

      In reality, turtle-American Mitch McConnell diligently works against multiple orgasms, as well.

  3. Antispandex


    I remain confident that no matter what happens, it will be Obama's fault!

    Copyright 2112 Antispandex. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

    1. dinkybossetti

      You may want to move that copyright back a century, or someone else may copyright it before you!

      1. Antispandex

        DAMN IT! Screwed up a perfectly good snark with a typo! Oh well, it will still be valid in the 21's.

  4. IncenseDebate

    Mitt's poll is pointing down, while Obama is up. It's looking like Mitt is going to lose the erection.

  5. Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    …was Barack singing again? Even though I'm a guy, I felt a little moist after hearin' him sing, so this makes sense.

  6. widestanceromance

    Somewhere, Sara Benincasa is opening her reply from Urban Dictionary. . .subject line, "Congratulations."

  7. MissTaken

    Copyright 2012 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

    Dammit, I was just about to look for the Obasm video on RedTube for purely educational purposes.

  8. iburl

    Obasm is the code word to start the Reptilian invasion. I, for one, welcome our scaly overlords.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      I have my resume ready. I will apply as a slatherer; rubbing fine, scented oils on their poor, parched scales. I will have high position and favor.

  9. Mumble_JustSayYesOta

    Not to be outdone, Bo Obama, sensing the big fuss, broke free from his leash in pursuit of the nearest bitch in heat, with whom he started gettin' it on and brought on a… (don't make me say it)…?

    1. CivilMcMannerly

      Bo is having sex with dogs? Santorum thinks that behavior is extremely homosexual.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      I've been to paradise, but I have never been to…Obasm. (I bet everybody thought I was going to say "me".)

  10. prommie

    He is daring them to do it, to take coverage away from a couple of million people. Whats the average margin of victory, the past 4 or 5 presidential elections?

      1. flamingpdog

        Thank you, thank you. I'm here every night except Wednesday and Wednesday, two shows, 7 and 11.

  11. poorgradstudent

    Slightly off-topic, but what is up with even Obama's own supporters calling his plan "Obamacare"? I guess they don't want to call attention to the reform plan's history with the Heritage Foundation and Mitt Romney, but, damn, talk about letting conservatives define the discourse…

    1. MosesInvests

      Name's not going away, might as well embrace it. Anyway, they figure why not have people associate the President with-no denials for "pre-existing conditions", no lifetime caps, coverage for young adults. "Obama got you healthcare"-yeah, that's a decent campaign slogan.

    2. Negropolis

      That's what happened the minute it hit the court.

      Plus, "Affordable Health Care for America Act" is such a mouthful. But, I otherwise agree. I can't for the life of me figure out why the administration and its supporters haven't put out human interest commercials showing people who this act have helped. For the past two-and-a-half years, all we've heard is the opposition. You'd think that this bill hasn't helped a single soul, and it's helped literally millions of people. How they've handled this has been an abomination.

  12. doloras

    Obasm, Obasm, one two three
    Tie a yellow corpse-tag on the GOP
    Blue states waiting impatiently
    From Alcatraz to Lady Liberty
    ACA and predator drones
    The White House knows how to make us moan

  13. DahBoner


    For a minute there, I thought you were going to say Dick Cheney is still dead…

  14. ttommyunger

    I know at least five old cunts in black robes who read this headline and burst out laughing.

Comments are closed.