News is this how ap reporters speak to their mothers? BREAKY BREAKY BREAKING NEWS FROM THE AP… By Jim Newell - April 2, 2012 - 3:25pm 132 SHARE Facebook Twitter Add to Flipboard Magazine. [via Yahel Carmon] Give Us Money: $ RELATED ARTICLESMORE FROM AUTHOR Your Weekly Top Ten Is Full Of Wonkette Toddler Singing Movie Songs, Like She Does Which Game Of Thrones Character Is Steve Bannon? (Whichever Character Just Got Shitcanned) Tampa Can’t Get Rid Of Confederate Loser Traitor Statue Fast Enough Barb Thank GOD! I was afraid I was going to have to get my breast exam at Hooter's this year. actor212 I bet you could get it done here at Wonkette for half-price. Barb Do I have to wait for a referral? OneDollarJuana I'll do it for free, and give you some yakisoba, too! actor212 I'd be happy to refer you, but I'll need to examine them and maybe take some films first. Barb Actor, Polaroid films? : ) tessiee Doorbell: Ding dong. Barb: Who is it? Land Shark: [mumble] Barb: Speak up, I can't hear you. Land Shark: Door to door breast exam. Barb Land Shark, do you have a candygram? I love your comment! flamingpdog I have a lindseygram. Will that get me in the front door? HistoriCat Isn't a lindseygram more suitable for the back door? tessiee Poor Land Shark. He never fools anybody; they always guess it's him because of the background music. Negropolis Depends on how many suiters…err…nurses, yes, nurses, are lined up. PuckStopsHere Half-price? Hell, we'll just throw it in with your $50 abortion. boobookitteh Well, the Supremes just held up invasive strip searches in jails because terrorism, so just get arrested for a minor offense. Or be arrested for no reason at all, it's all good. http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/04/02/1098… actor212 "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you happy to see me? Better pull them off now, citizen…" CapnFatback No, no, no breasts. Hooters's specialty is wings. bagofmice And other phrases I will probably never say. nounverb911 OBASM? "I'll have what he's having." –Mitt Romney Giveusabob I would have thought the privilege of having an Obasm would be limited exclusively to Michelle, but looks like Daddy's feeling generous today. actor212 Single payer healthcare is not dead! Gleem McShineys Single payer layer healthcare is not dead! straighteight Obasm – that's what the ladies get when Bammerz sings Al Green… SorosBot And I think all Wonkette's lady readers are off to, uh, take a break at that thought. MissTaken I'm back, complete with rosy cheeks and a smile on my face. SorosBot You've probably got your little scrunchy-nosed satisfied look on your face now too; such is the power of the thought of the Obasm. MissTaken Hey now! SorosBot Don't worry; you know I'm not jealous. Besides I've been thinking of a Michelle Omasm myself. Chet Kincaid May I recommend a "marital aid": http://www.neatoshop.com/product/Obama-Adult-Mask Negropolis Is it bad that when I saw "adult mask" that I was almost sure it'd have a whole in the mouth area? lol actor212 Dude, don't embarass the lady and her O-face Unless you post pictures. Callyson Yes, that was quite a satisfying lunch… CapnFatback "If things go well I might be showing SCOTUS my O-face." Barb Throw away those Popsicle sticks and duct tape. Viagra for everyone! Jus_Wonderin Duct tape is not half as much fun taking off as it is putting on. widestanceromance Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. OW! bagofmice I'm guessing you don't shave. fuflans and another wonkette trope is born. Jus_Wonderin It is so cute, and it has our eyes. flamingpdog Trope? Is that Bristol's little boy? Gleem McShineys "If you're snarking on Wonkette for pleasure and not for the sole purpose of meme procreation, you are a sinner!" -aternate universe Rick Santorum BigSkullF*ckingDog Obasms are 100% santorum free. bagofmice I know more than a few people that might disagree. fuflans is barry taking the same meds as rick perry? ManchuCandidate Meanwhile Rombot suddenly got floppier. SayItWithWookies And Ron Paul stayed flat. actor212 Back in 2008, my lady had an Obasm too. I was in the kitchen making a sammich at the time, the bitch. Baconzgood At least someone is… Gopherit Free Cialis and contraception? Obasm indeed. Chill-A-Sketch In related news, Romneycare is still stiff. Lucidamente1 Upon his re-election, Multiple Obasms? Gleem McShineys In reality, turtle-American Mitch McConnell diligently works against multiple orgasms, as well. SteveMcCroskey I only hope this Obasm is not premature. Antispandex BREAKING I remain confident that no matter what happens, it will be Obama's fault! Copyright 2112 Antispandex. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. dinkybossetti You may want to move that copyright back a century, or someone else may copyright it before you! Antispandex DAMN IT! Screwed up a perfectly good snark with a typo! Oh well, it will still be valid in the 21's. Geminisunmars He had me at O. DaRooster Obasm! "We now return to our regularly scheduled program already in progress…" IncenseDebate Mitt's poll is pointing down, while Obama is up. It's looking like Mitt is going to lose the erection. actor212 I have little doubt Mitt will pull out early and turn on the ballgame. nonbeliever7 Wasn't one of editrix's rules no making fun of orientals? actor212 Wait! What's the big deal about the Ohio Branch of the American Society for Microbiology? I mean, I know it's annual meeting is this month, but come on! BigSkullF*ckingDog Microbiologists are sexy! flamingpdog A lot of them have a great pair o' meciums, yeah. Gratuitous World "Not true," responds Alito. SayItWithWookies I hear it clears up the acne too. actor212 "It really works, Jen, but you have to swallow it" weej_FukuiKatie Did Barry get a peak at some of the olde SCOTUM's EKGs? Chet Kincaid Never combine "Barry", "peak" and what looks at a glance like "olde SCROTUM" in a comment!! weej_FukuiKatie And one-handed speelink of peek, not so good…. Serolf_Divad Once you've had an Obasm a plain old Orgasm will simply not do. Gleem McShineys "Once you go barack," as they say. el_donaldo I think Rick Perry has been sharing his stash of happy pills. Jus_Wonderin Is it their state of mind that they are always referred to as "the High Court'? Chick-Fil-Atheist™ …was Barack singing again? Even though I'm a guy, I felt a little moist after hearin' him sing, so this makes sense. An Asexual Ungulate Is… is an Obasm what I think it is? MissTaken If you don't know you've never had one. Jus_Wonderin Oh. Oh. OH. OHHH! OH!!! Oh yes!! Oh yes!! Yes! Yes! Yes! An Asexual Ungulate Maybe I need to get an invite to the White House after all… HateMachine Oh. Oh. OH. OHHH! OH!!! Oh yes!! That's change I can BELIEVE IIIIIIIIN!! Fixed. actor212 It's mythical, in that it's always faked. Chet Kincaid Skyrockets in flight! Commander-in-chief delight! LastGasp We could re-title Barry's time in the White House as "The Story of O" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073115/ Chick-Fil-Atheist™ Michelle's initials aren't "M.O." without cause. Just sayin'. widestanceromance Somewhere, Sara Benincasa is opening her reply from Urban Dictionary. . .subject line, "Congratulations." actor212 A President Christie couldn't achieve re-erection…. weej_FukuiKatie And how would he know? He hasn't laid eyes on it in years. actor212 He used to feel it whenever he saw tender delectable babby. MissTaken Copyright 2012 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. Dammit, I was just about to look for the Obasm video on RedTube for purely educational purposes. iburl Obasm is the code word to start the Reptilian invasion. I, for one, welcome our scaly overlords. Jus_Wonderin I have my resume ready. I will apply as a slatherer; rubbing fine, scented oils on their poor, parched scales. I will have high position and favor. MissTaken The Obasm is so strong it is felt throughout Washington. SorosBot Strong enough to even delete comments apparently. prommie Might have been Chris Christie falling out of bed, in Jerusalem. Mumble_JustSayYesOta Not to be outdone, Bo Obama, sensing the big fuss, broke free from his leash in pursuit of the nearest bitch in heat, with whom he started gettin' it on and brought on a… (don't make me say it)…? CivilMcMannerly Bo is having sex with dogs? Santorum thinks that behavior is extremely homosexual. actor212 Bobasm, bananafanafofasm, mimymomasm? ThundercatHo Bobasm, bobasm, fee fi fofasm, banafana fofasm. . . . Mumble_JustSayYesOta Ditto, and ditto to actor212 too. That song began playing in my head right as I typed that. Pithaughn Obasm, more of a place than a feeling. Jus_Wonderin I've been to paradise, but I have never been to…Obasm. (I bet everybody thought I was going to say "me".) prommie He is daring them to do it, to take coverage away from a couple of million people. Whats the average margin of victory, the past 4 or 5 presidential elections? DrunkIrishman I have obasms all the time. I scream out, "YES, I CAN CUM!" Mumble_JustSayYesOta I feel like this post, with its luring headline only to be followed by a one-word news item, was somewhat anti-climactic. Come here a minute WASHINGTON — Ejacunewell. Callyson If the abortions are $50, how much are the obasms? Can I get a quantity discount? actor212 I don't know if they come in bulk. flamingpdog Is an Obasm what you get when you massabate? Blueb4sunrise If it's uppity. Negropolis That was terrible. flamingpdog Thank you, thank you. I'm here every night except Wednesday and Wednesday, two shows, 7 and 11. Extemporanus *AP AP AP* Blueb4sunrise ++ actor212 ^fisted bagofmice That's hard to beat. Blueb4sunrise Shawna? widestanceromance Is 'Obasm' Kenyan for Obama? BarackMyWorld Any reaction to this news from Palin? Jus_Wonderin She's bakin' bread in there. flamingpdog And Biden's thinking about makin' bacon. mrblifil This had me in spasms. poorgradstudent Slightly off-topic, but what is up with even Obama's own supporters calling his plan "Obamacare"? I guess they don't want to call attention to the reform plan's history with the Heritage Foundation and Mitt Romney, but, damn, talk about letting conservatives define the discourse… MosesInvests Name's not going away, might as well embrace it. Anyway, they figure why not have people associate the President with-no denials for "pre-existing conditions", no lifetime caps, coverage for young adults. "Obama got you healthcare"-yeah, that's a decent campaign slogan. Negropolis That's what happened the minute it hit the court. Plus, "Affordable Health Care for America Act" is such a mouthful. But, I otherwise agree. I can't for the life of me figure out why the administration and its supporters haven't put out human interest commercials showing people who this act have helped. For the past two-and-a-half years, all we've heard is the opposition. You'd think that this bill hasn't helped a single soul, and it's helped literally millions of people. How they've handled this has been an abomination. James Michael Curley I'm gonna get that on my license plate. hagajim Last time I had an Obasm I had a hard time walking until it went away. doloras Obasm, Obasm, one two three Tie a yellow corpse-tag on the GOP Blue states waiting impatiently From Alcatraz to Lady Liberty ACA and predator drones The White House knows how to make us moan randcoolcatdaddy Obasm? Is that the AP version of DRUDGE SIRENS? real_dc_native Strip searches by the police are now considered "health care"? extreme_left is this one of those hard to find lady parts things? Negropolis Oh, Barry, oh Barry, oh Berry….YES! And "boom" goes the dolomite. DahBoner Damn! For a minute there, I thought you were going to say Dick Cheney is still dead… ttommyunger I know at least five old cunts in black robes who read this headline and burst out laughing. Previous articleChris Christie Does Jerusalem: Vacation Pix!Next articleIs Rick Santorum A Gutter Drunk?