FUN IN THE SUN  3:06 pm April 2, 2012

Chris Christie Does Jerusalem: Vacation Pix!

by Jim Newell

I'M PUSHING THIS OVERThe Good Governor Sandwiches of New Jersey, Chris Christie, is in Israel, on his first official overseas trip as head of an American state. (He’s making up for President Obama, who refuses to visit Israel because he Hates Jews.) How many unionized public school teachers will he yell at on YouTube while there? We await the final tally. Until then, let’s check out some photos from his visit to the Western Wall. Here he is, trying to connect with God to make a very important request.

“It is lunchtime, Fancy God Wall. Bring me Taco Bell, please, or a KFC Double Down…”

“Eh, what the hell, this is good enough.”

(Chris Christie is reportedly overweight.)

[AP/Facebook]

 

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{ 208 comments }

nounverb911 April 2, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Does El Al have a plane big enough to carry him?

prommie April 2, 2012 at 3:17 pm
Mahousu April 2, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Yes, they know their market:

"EL AL is proud to present a fleet of 11 wide-body aircraft of a unified high standard offering an upgraded flight experience. First Class features exclusive bed-seats, produced by the French SICMA company. The wide state-of-the-art seats afford a flight experience that assures comfortable sleep during the flight. … The seat is equipped with an especially large personal screen …"

He still had to buy two of them, though.

teebob2000 April 2, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Does Allah have the power to satiate that hunger??

Data Exactly April 2, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Yes, and Jealous employs the Moses' sons' treatment when it comes time to sleep and dress. You know, walking backwards with the blanket/moo-moo between them both making extra sure not to look at him.

heathenette April 2, 2012 at 11:54 pm

I’m a heathen, so I could be wrong-but I think the son’s walking backwards thing was drunk Noah. But I haven’t read any of that stuff for a LONG time…AND I’m a heathen.(ette)

HippieEsq April 2, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Ever since Sharon went into his coma….Yes, they do.

Dashboard_Jesus April 2, 2012 at 11:48 pm

sweet holy jeebus Christie is the most obese human I've ever seen (outside of Wal-Mart) how is it this guy does not begin every day with a massive heart attack? srsly how could anyone vote for such a grotesquely fat man, for any office, knowing that to become THAT large he must have no self-control or respect for his own physical health whatsoever (of course we know his mental health has already been 'compromised')

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 3:09 pm

No wonder the wall is leaning: the force of gravity is shifted!

Extemporanus April 2, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Is that the Whaling Wall?

nounverb911 April 2, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Moby Dick is that you?

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Call me Ishmael

Extemporanus April 2, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Call me Israel.

savethispatient April 2, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Call me (call me) on the line
Call me, call me any, anytime

Veritas78 April 2, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Call me whatever you want, just don't call me late to dinner!

Negropolis April 3, 2012 at 12:07 am

But, whatever you do, don't call him Isaac…

Baconzgood April 2, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Thank you. I just couldn't figure how to put it. Simplicity wins out.

Extemporanus April 2, 2012 at 3:24 pm

I only cut the line because I hit a snag as well, old chum.

SheriffRoscoe April 2, 2012 at 3:37 pm

So magnanimous. Je t'adore.

Extemporanus April 2, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Out of natural courtesy he received, but did not appropriate. It was like a gift placed in the palm of an outreached hand upon which the fingers do not close.

- Herman Melville, Billy Budd, Chapter 24

harobedyelsnit April 2, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Burst out in spontaneous laughter.

Extemporanus April 2, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Sadly, you were not alone: [NSFW]

iburl April 2, 2012 at 3:25 pm

COTD!

BornInATrailer April 2, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Indeed. It would be a shame if that doesn't win a COTD.

Extemporanus April 2, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Catch of the Day: BALLS!

Gopherit April 2, 2012 at 3:37 pm

You, sir, win the day.

Guppy April 2, 2012 at 3:48 pm

The baby's name is Jonah.

DalePues April 2, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Save the whales.

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Well, in Christie's case, you mean shave

SheriffRoscoe April 2, 2012 at 3:09 pm

As an aside, babies do sleep better in the arms of fat people.

teebob2000 April 2, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Yes but only because they don't know how perilously close they are to being consumed.

DemmeFatale April 2, 2012 at 6:17 pm

That's because fat arms and chests remind them of big, soft, titties!
(And don't even think about "pics or GTFO," perverts!)

AlterNewt April 2, 2012 at 3:09 pm

"Chris Christie is reportedly overweight"

LIBERAL BIAS!!

Infrogmation April 2, 2012 at 4:23 pm

President Taft laughs heartily at Mr. Christie's puny girth.

meatpuppet2 April 2, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Chris Crisco

Veritas78 April 2, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Which one of him? There are at least two in that picture.

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Hey, how come Christie wears a yarmulke, but not the Jew in front????

MosesInvests April 2, 2012 at 8:34 pm

That's somewhere else, not at the Wall. I guess Gov. Crisco forgot to take it off.

CthuNHu April 2, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Because the Jew in front isn't shamelessly pandering for mindshare among American Christians who think all Jews go to hell.

Makes sense to me. Does it to you?

SkinnyNerd April 2, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Is having "GOVERNOR" printed on your yarmulke the equivalent of having your name stitched onto your underwear?

Generation[redacted] April 2, 2012 at 3:19 pm

See Mel Brooks in Blazing Saddles

vtxmcrider April 2, 2012 at 4:11 pm

… or the name of an anal-seminal frothy mixture stitched on your sweater vest?

Callyson April 2, 2012 at 4:26 pm

I did not notice that when I first saw the picture. How much of a gigantic ego does one have to have to place his title on a freaking yarmulke FFS?

HobbesEvilTwin April 2, 2012 at 5:53 pm

see, e.g., Bush, George W., who had the presidential seal embossed on everything he touched.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/dubo

Veritas78 April 2, 2012 at 10:02 pm

There isn't a printing press big enough. Or enough thread in Egypt.

Baconzgood April 2, 2012 at 3:10 pm

There is a wall/fat fuck joke there that ends with "Whaling Wall", but I just can't flush it out.

nounverb911 April 2, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Extemporanus beat you to it anyway.

Barb April 2, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I love your joke, Baconz.

SpiderCrab April 2, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Sure hope fatty doesn't push that wall over. No wonder that wall is wailing.

noodlesalad April 2, 2012 at 3:11 pm

There are about a million things wrong with his "Governor Yarmulke," but it gives me great pleasure to know that somewhere, some unpaid assistant to Sarah Palin is trying to figure out if it would be kosher for her to wear one on the Today Show. (Hint: NO!)

Devilette April 2, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Sarah's dilemma for tomorrow – Do I wear the giant Star of David, my gaudy cross belt buckle, or one of my large crosses? I bet she gives the make- up artists and wardrobe folks heartburn.

CthuNHu April 2, 2012 at 8:48 pm

All of them, Katie!

Barb April 2, 2012 at 3:11 pm

I believe Chris Christie should practice girth control.

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Well, he does use condiments.

reliefsinn April 3, 2012 at 8:34 am

Yes, but which condiments?

All of them, Katie

Sorry, figured I had to answer my own post since this was an old thread.

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Good Governor Sandwiches

Y'know, for a couple years now, I've been wracking my brain for a good mob name for Christie.

Fuck you, Ginger, for doing it in one: Christie Bag-o-Sammiches

prommie April 2, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Dipshit Magoo.

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I kept toying with "Sausage Fingers" but it didn't seem pointed enough.

prommie April 2, 2012 at 3:26 pm

The Great Gorge.

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Hm, there used to be a resort in North Jersey called that. Not bad…

trampndirtdown April 3, 2012 at 12:05 am

No steaing Fred Thompson's alias.

prommie April 2, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Panniculus Maximus

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Needs moar bacon

prommie April 2, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Governor Gobbles.

prommie April 2, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Governor Giant Fat Disgusting Lardass Who is Greasy and Smells Like a Sweaty Fat Enormous Fat Smelly Fuck.

prommie April 2, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Hungry Hungry Hippo?

James Michael Curley April 2, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Chris "Ate Fat Tony" Christie

slowhansolo April 3, 2012 at 9:21 am

Chrissy Piano Casket?

meatlofer April 2, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Thats a pretty big matzo ball.

LastGasp April 2, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Somebody stop him! In that first photo Chris Christie looks like he's going to push over the Wailing Wall (with his considerable heft he just might be able to do it), and in the last picture he looks like he's going to have that infant as a snack.
We're already having enough trouble getting along with Israel.

Chet Kincaid April 2, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Are you answering a "summarize the post" essay question or something?

wvfii April 2, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Gov. Chris Monte Cristo

straighteight April 2, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Governor Chris ChristieKreme

Nostrildamus April 3, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Cristo Crisco

metamarcisf April 2, 2012 at 3:12 pm

That photo of the Governor breastfeeding goes in my personal Archive of Horror.

Barb April 2, 2012 at 3:12 pm

That's not a yarmulke on his head, it's a bunt cake for later.

EatsBabyDingos April 2, 2012 at 3:13 pm

The first picture is from Christie's book, "Push Ups for Dummies."

SecretMuslin April 2, 2012 at 4:52 pm

He looks like a Weeble

prommie April 2, 2012 at 3:13 pm

When Christie is around, its the floor that wails.

SheriffRoscoe April 2, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Ahhhhhh……

I got my "fix."

Gratuitous World April 2, 2012 at 3:13 pm

When was the last time Christie saw his matzo balls?

heyyy-oooo

MosesInvests April 2, 2012 at 8:36 pm

In the mirror.

Negropolis April 3, 2012 at 12:21 am

Blood libel!

finally

SorosBot April 2, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Maybe Jersey will get lucky and Israel will keep the disgusting ass who slashes state workers' pay to give away money to the rich fuckheads.

imissopus April 2, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Chris Christie, the first tourist ever to sink in the Dead Sea.

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 3:26 pm

When his plane lifts off the tarmac, the land mass of Israel will spring back four feet.

GeneralLerong April 2, 2012 at 3:30 pm

My friend the harbor seal informs me that blubber make ya float.

Picture Christie bouncing over the surface of the Dead Sea like a humongous beach ball…

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 4:16 pm

The Prisoner!?

nonbeliever7 April 2, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Run guvnor! Run! The Torah….it's….it's a cookbook!

noodlesalad April 2, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Are babies kosher? Ah, fuck it! nom nom nom nom

SheriffRoscoe April 2, 2012 at 3:14 pm

The Governor™ brand yarmulke was a happy turn of luck for Christie.

savethispatient April 2, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Surely a bacon-flavored Governor is an affront to Judaism?

ifthethunderdontgetya April 2, 2012 at 3:15 pm

(Chris Christie is reportedly overweight.)

That fat fuck hasn't seen his balls since 5th grade.
~

Schmannnity April 2, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Is he reading a menu in the middle picture?

LastGasp April 2, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Well, Chris Christie is a Roman Catholic, so if he's holding a copy of the Torah he has no idea what the Hebrew verses mean. Then again, if he's holding a copy of the Bible while standing in front of the Wailing Wall then… that makes no sense.
Maybe he is holding a menu…

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 3:29 pm

It's the Ten Commandments: One from Corumn A, two from Corumn B

reliefsinn April 3, 2012 at 8:38 am

No, it's a book, I think the title is "To Serve Mankind".

EatsBabyDingos April 2, 2012 at 3:15 pm

"Peas be with you, and fried buttersticks be with me."

coolhandnuke April 2, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Wow. Chrisie casts a shadow that could occupy the Occupied Territory.

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 3:17 pm

OBESE ISREAL!

widestanceromance April 2, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Pardon my ignorance (as you always do), but is it customary for yarmulkes to bear one's name/title? I'm guessing CC's starts as "World's Largest ________."

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 3:17 pm

It's not unusual for the owner to have his name stitched in, no.

BerkeleyBear April 2, 2012 at 4:06 pm

But it is sort of gauche to have your title stitched in, in bold font.

ThundercatHo April 2, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Tub o' Lard

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 3:16 pm

In that second picture, I bet we could have a lot of fun and create an international incident by telling Governor Donuts those are chocolate stains.

GortRay April 2, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Chris Christie IS the West Bank.

Jus_Wonderin April 2, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Thanks God he was there to save all those people!

SkinnyNerd April 2, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Christian Chris Christie pretends to Jewish at Western Wall. Jesus!

Wadisay April 2, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Learn from the success of the Romney campaign: it's never too early to start pandering.

mavenmaven April 2, 2012 at 3:17 pm

He didn't eat that poor baby did he?!?!?!?

iburl April 2, 2012 at 3:48 pm

It IS a jewish baby, and he IS a Republican, so yes.

Baconzgood April 2, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Snark off.

That dude is really over weight. I mean that can't be good for his health. It's really hard to think how someone lets themselves go like that. Doesn't his DR. tell him about cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes?

widestanceromance April 2, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Snark on.

No, he just writes CC another prescription for butter capsules.

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 3:30 pm

He's been hospitalized since he took office, even, for "respiratory distress"

prommie April 2, 2012 at 3:34 pm

He tried to walk uphill. He has his servants carry him everywhere on a palanquin, ever since.

DaRooster April 2, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Thank God for Gubmint health care huh?

DemmeFatale April 2, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Yeah, Baconz, he should look into weight-loss surgery. Now.
I'm sure his doctors warn him a lot, but he probably doesn't think he has time to cope with it.
His window to deal with this is closing.
Sorry about the lack of snark.
(Wife of an ex-fattie.)

slowhansolo April 3, 2012 at 9:25 am

I'm sure his doctor mentions it. But do you know who he is? He's the governor of motherfucking New Jersey, and no one tells him what to do.

Lucidamente1 April 2, 2012 at 3:18 pm

"If I do not remember thee, Jerusalem, let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth so that I may not enjoy delicious snack food from here to Eilat."

DaRooster April 2, 2012 at 3:18 pm

"A huge, dark shadow was cast on the wailing wall today…"

straighteight April 2, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Those tourists with the newborn are just jazzed that John Goodman wanted to hold their baby for some reason!

DaRooster April 2, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Did he swing by Omar The Tent Maker's for some new shirts too?

straighteight April 2, 2012 at 3:25 pm

He should find a clothier for Hasidim. He has the perfect build for a kaftan.

Jus_Wonderin April 2, 2012 at 3:22 pm

From hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Keep your damn hand off my biscuit, Ye damned whale.

SorosBot April 2, 2012 at 3:33 pm

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

Chet Kincaid April 2, 2012 at 3:24 pm
bumfug April 2, 2012 at 3:24 pm

I like the wall shadows of people giving him the finger from behind.

SayItWithWookies April 2, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Oh dear — Christie's definitely gonna try for the VP slot if he's getting his pious fraud card punched this year. On the bright side, it's hard to defile something that was knocked flat 2,000 years ago.

prommie April 2, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Israel was also GW Bush's first trip abroad, it counts as "foreign policy," I guess.

CthuNHu April 2, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Nancy Reagan libel!

Wadisay April 2, 2012 at 3:25 pm

It looks like he's taking a leak on the Wall.

ElPinche April 2, 2012 at 3:25 pm

"Mmmm, I mean, hey ! is that a baby? "

sullivanst April 2, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Baby: the other, other white meat.
Baby: it's what's for dinner.

Baconzgood April 2, 2012 at 3:28 pm

When Chris Christie goes around Israel, he literally goes AROUND Isreal. Getit, getit. Because he's so fat.

widestanceromance April 2, 2012 at 4:17 pm

He's a one-man, two-state solution.

imissopus April 2, 2012 at 6:38 pm

When he sits around the Governor's mansion, he really SITS AROUND…eh, you get the point.

Antispandex April 2, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I hope they have something like the Taft bathtub over there, because it can get very sweaty in Isreal for the big people.

prommie April 2, 2012 at 3:46 pm

There is the dead sea, but it might prove impossible to submerge him. I think he's a "sponge on a stick" kinda guy, anyway.

Barrelhse April 2, 2012 at 3:31 pm

I had no idea he was Pink Floyd fan.

Antispandex April 2, 2012 at 3:57 pm

All in all he's just another prick by a wall?

Mumble_JustSayYesOta April 2, 2012 at 3:32 pm

You couldn't pay me to get near that feeding frenzy. Or the crowd surrounding him, either.

IncenseDebate April 2, 2012 at 3:32 pm

No wonder the wall is Wailing.

BornInATrailer April 2, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Going to need a big attic with strong joists to hide that one.

Lynne April 2, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Wow, no Humpty Dumpty jokes yet?

iburl April 2, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Humpty Christie wailed on a wall
Humpty Christie ate a bear claw
All the Fox cameras and all TBN
Couldn't frame his fat ass once again

hey, I tried.

Lynne April 2, 2012 at 8:29 pm

I applaud you. I wasn't up to it. I just saw Humpty Dumpty at the wall.

prommie April 2, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Take this baby back, I ordered medium rare!

kennymfg April 2, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Its true. He eats babies.

Laissez_Queer April 2, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Atheist libel!

elfgoldsackring April 2, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I may be going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing someone named "Christopher Christie" is not actually Jewish…

Negropolis April 3, 2012 at 12:33 am

Niether are a whole bunch of people who visit the wailing wall.

BornInATrailer April 2, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Figures. Fatty can't even wait until they make the matzo with that Palestinian baby.

lolactualbloodlibelforonce

Doktor StrangeZoom April 2, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I hope no one tells him that Israel has socialized health care!

el_donaldo April 2, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Nice gunt, governor.

Gopherit April 2, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Aw, how cute! His yarmulke is embroidered with "Governor"! I bet his Bubbeh made that for him before he ate her.

CivicHoliday April 2, 2012 at 3:45 pm

I want my BABY BACK BABY BACK BABY BACK…RIBS!!

Guppy April 2, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Weren't the Romans bad enough?

OneDollarJuana April 2, 2012 at 3:51 pm

I wonder why they let him touch the Wall? Pork isn't kosher!

fuflans April 2, 2012 at 3:54 pm

fat panderer is pandering.

Limeylizzie April 2, 2012 at 3:57 pm

That picture of the baby is something I can relate to, due to the 34G bosoms of mine, all babies when I hold them try to breastfeed, I think that is what is happening there with Christie's moobs.

James Michael Curley April 2, 2012 at 4:11 pm

34G? Do not take the A train during rush hour.

Limeylizzie April 2, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Little chest with giant hooters.

WiscDad April 2, 2012 at 3:59 pm

"Here he is, trying to connect with God to make a very important request." What??? That someday he'll be able to see his dick again when he's pissing?

teebob2000 April 2, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Looks muslin to me

BarackMyWorld April 2, 2012 at 4:04 pm

I'm not going to make fun of a guy who has fought the X-Men.

VeraSevera April 2, 2012 at 4:07 pm

When do you supposed the last time was that he actually saw his penis…or was even able to touch it?

Schmegeg April 2, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Good grief, which is holding the other up?

vtxmcrider April 2, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Sarah Palin is still trying to figure out why the Whaling Wall is not right on the coast like some kind of hurricane barrier.

SheriffJoeBiden April 2, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Wow, Ariel Sharon really lost a lot of weight! Love the new rug, too, Ari!

mrblifil April 2, 2012 at 4:22 pm

He seems still to be trying to figure out what is meant by a "nosh."

littlebigdaddy April 2, 2012 at 4:24 pm

If he goes to that nude beach on the Dead Sea, I beg you not to post pictures!

starfanglednut April 2, 2012 at 9:56 pm

*jumps off roof.

johnnymeatworth April 2, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Looks like his Twix got stuck in the Wailing Wall vending machine….

not that Dewey April 2, 2012 at 11:59 pm

Then why isn't his arm buried halfway in the wall?

hagajim April 2, 2012 at 4:41 pm

All snark aside, but that is one dead man walking. My God! I knew the man was fat, but I've never had the privelege of seeing a photo that captures his hugery so well.

soeoho April 2, 2012 at 4:43 pm

I saw Spock mind melding with a rock on an old episode of Star Trek.
Cept he was smarter than the rock.

Chick-Fil-Atheistâ„¢ April 2, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Did he perform the circumcision?

HippieEsq April 2, 2012 at 7:37 pm

With those fat fingers? Let's hope not.

swordfis April 2, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Why did they put the world's largest piece of traif next to the Wailing Wall?

lochnessmonster April 2, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Instead of a taco, he gave him a baby? I had no idea he ate small children!

not that Dewey April 2, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Christie needs to go back to his pre-1967 borders.

Makinglifehell April 2, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Holy hell! Is that a bowling ball at the Wailing Wall?

grex1949 April 2, 2012 at 5:28 pm

How does he not NOTICE that he's a tub of festering pus and needs to lose about 300 pounds?

Warwhatgoodfor April 2, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Back in my medical student days in the great state of Ioway, we used to note such, shall we say, rotund individuals in Iowa units. An Iowa unit was fifty pounds on the hoof. I'd put him down at about 7 IU, give or take a little. Maybe an 8. It was also acceptable to point out they were the same size from top to bottom as side to side.

gurukalehuru April 2, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Mr. Nuttinyahoo, tear down this wall.

Also, if Chris Christie ever gets into the Oval Office, we'll never get him out. At least not without a crane and some major reconstruction.

Monsieur_Grumpe April 2, 2012 at 6:03 pm

If he was a humble or nice person I would be sympathetic towards his weight problem. But he's not and I'm not. Gravity do your stuff!

rickmaci April 2, 2012 at 6:44 pm

All snark aside, which is hard to do given the topic and pics, that man is killing himself. Really very sad.

slithytoves April 2, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Seriously, he needs the help of that doctor from "My Life as a 600lb" or whatever it is. You simply cannot carry that much weight and live long. Seeing those pix, I didn't realize how bad it was.

HippieEsq April 2, 2012 at 7:25 pm

FIRST PHOTO CAPTION: Chris Christie moments before his weight toppled the Western (and last) wall of the great Temple.

meatpuppet2 April 2, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Chris Chrstie is a disgusting looking fat fucking bastard. That is all.

Robman2 April 2, 2012 at 7:56 pm

So, one GOD three and counting religions fighting about their dead Master's tenets, at a facade, or as the facade, which, according to historicity (Thanks Newt for that word) are exactly the same, Light, Unstruck Sound, Holy Breath and Manna.

Take time out from the trail Christos of Jersey, and find the Master wot's alive, it doesn't require belief, because it's real, not all inked up in them many books o' pages.

Just sayin'!

LetUsBray April 2, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Wow, that wall is bigger than Gov. Christie's ass.

Christie [Cartman voice]: IT IS NOT!!!!!!!!!

raresteaksandoilpainting April 2, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Humpty Dumpty and the Wailing Wall?

valthemus April 2, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Let it be known that, as someone who has to deal with his own less-than-perfect image in the mirror every morning, generally speaking, I will refrain from commenting on a public figure's weight or appearance. But I am a weak and petty little man who is too easily tempted, so…

Here,
here,
and here.

extreme_left April 2, 2012 at 11:28 pm

at least there will be no high pants tax

heathenette April 2, 2012 at 11:48 pm

When I see Chris Christie in all his Christian goodness, all I can think of is, “Gluttony in a sin, Ya fat ass!”

Man0nTheStreet April 2, 2012 at 11:52 pm

Aaaaaaannnnd this is why I now and forever refer to him a Gov. Fat Bastard. Somebody keep an eye on that baby to make sure the Gov doesn't mistake it for his customary mid-morning snack of a 10-lb roll of head cheese!

Negropolis April 3, 2012 at 12:00 am

I so get why the wall is wailing, now.

trampndirtdown April 3, 2012 at 12:18 am

Boys were gonna need a bigger scooter.

Negropolis April 3, 2012 at 12:32 am

Man, from the chest up he looks obese. From there on down he looks morbidly obese. I've never seen aynthing like it.

MRjonz April 3, 2012 at 12:36 am

Well, now that Christie has been to Israel, by Republican standards, he now knows absolutely everything you need to know about American Foreign Policy; “The Bucks Stop Here.”

And the yarmulke with “Governor” in white lettering on it is a classy touch.

Bonus quip: Now they know who to get for the remake of “Cast A Giant Shadow.”

Man0nTheStreet April 3, 2012 at 2:30 am

The reasons reichwingers lurve the Israel is two-fold, based on whether they're part of the GOoPer 1% or the GOoPer 99%.

The 1% are happy that Israel is the perfect (westernized) wealthy (heavily-subsidized) well-located (near OUR mid-east oil) market for the US War Machine output;

The 99% are convinced that it's where Jesus lives, and he will be handing out gold Ameros and McD's franchises to the True Christians (English-speaking White Americans) after Armageddon clears the world of Blahs/Joos/Kweers/Mooselims.

ggaston1960 April 3, 2012 at 1:17 am

Liberals always say, "rotund" like it is a bad thing….

ggaston1960 April 3, 2012 at 1:19 am

Can I get one of those beanie hats with, "LOSER" stitched on the side?

DahBoner April 3, 2012 at 7:24 am

I didn't know Christie was……

….into architecture.

ttommyunger April 3, 2012 at 7:58 am

"Chris Christie Eats Jerusalem." FIXED!

MissNancyPriss April 3, 2012 at 11:10 am

Wow, he's fat.

Joey_Blau April 3, 2012 at 12:08 pm

OMG Christie is Jewish!?? I never knew…

and Israel is lucky he didn;t bump into the wall and knock it down… (ta-dump)

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