GEEK AND DESTROY  10:45 am April 2, 2012

Birther Metal Dude Dave Mustaine: Rick Santorum Would Be ‘A Really Cool President,’ ‘Like JFK’

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Enter BlandmanHahahahahahahahaha, here is Megadeth’s (and Metallica’s) Dave Mustaine, last relevant when your editrix was a sophomore in high school, being really “hip” and “with-it” and “politically informed.” First: Obama is not an American (duh):

“I have a lot of questions about [President Obama], but certainly not where he was born,” Mustaine said. “I know he was born somewhere else than America.”

[...]

“How come [Obama] was invisible until he became, uh, whatever he was in Illinois?” he asked. (Obama was previously a senator.) “They don’t have any record of him.”

Well, Obama was also the president of Harvard Law Review, so some people had heard of him. So, that’s stupid. But far funnier than just yer typical brain-damaged Hessian japery is what comes next in Mustaine’s interview with Canadian radio host George Stroumboulopoulos, and that is the cool hipness of one Mr. Former Senator Rick Santorum:

He looks “like he could be a really cool president,” Mustaine explained, “kind of like a JFK kind of guy.” If “JFK kind of guy” means “extremist, paranoid, spitty, sneery, whiny, pouty, smegma-lipped, and totally itching for a new Inquisition,” then yeah, Rick Santorum is kind of like that.

[The Guardian]

 

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{ 180 comments }

prommie April 2, 2012 at 10:49 am

I thought we weren't supposed to make fun of the developmentally disabled? Why do you dangle them before us, targets fit for no comment other than "who cares what that "R-word" thinks?

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 11:00 am

Republican?

Limeylizzie April 2, 2012 at 11:06 am

Rinkled?

Not_So_Much April 2, 2012 at 11:09 am

Retired Rocker?

FakaktaSouth April 2, 2012 at 11:10 am

I'm fairly certain at this point that it was Dave and not Cliff Burton that had his head crushed by that Metallica bus. Cliff is prob out there somewhere with Jim Morrison, laughing at us all.

Crank_Tango April 2, 2012 at 11:31 am

I believe these fellers were referred to in a lawsuit (Megadeath v. Megadeth) as "dunderheads who don't know how to spell"…does that help?

I can't believe googles won't help me in my search. Has google broked?

An_Outhouse April 2, 2012 at 11:41 am

Relapsed alcoholic?

redarmyzombie April 2, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Hmm…is it <REDACTED>?

Baconzgood April 2, 2012 at 10:50 am

JFK still means "Jesus you're Fucking Kidding" on the interwebz right?

Designer_Rants April 2, 2012 at 10:50 am

I was a Megadeth fan in high school. What strange, exotic cocktail of illicit drugs was I on back then? Let's never do that again, brain.

anonymousofficezombie April 2, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Mustaine was a lot more sane back in the days when he was still on his own strange, exotic cocktail of illicit drugs. Then he sobered-up and found Jesus. Big mistake.

Designer_Rants April 2, 2012 at 1:12 pm

No middle ground for that guy. Either so insanely intoxicated that even fellow metalheads can't stand him, or a Santorum supporter.

HELisforHEL April 2, 2012 at 1:37 pm

So he replaced one drug with another, makes sense.
What an idiot (unsurprisingly), also.

freakishlywrong April 2, 2012 at 10:50 am

Yep. When I look and listen to Santorum, I think "JFK" As in; Jesus Fucking Krazy..

Lucidamente1 April 2, 2012 at 10:50 am

That comparison makes me want to throw up.

Designer_Rants April 2, 2012 at 10:51 am

Snob!

anniegetyerfun April 2, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Is it weird that Santorum obviously feels the same way?

Infrogmation April 2, 2012 at 4:43 pm

I'm pretty sure by “JFK kind of guy” he simply meant "white".

4TheTurnstiles April 2, 2012 at 10:50 am

How uncool is Dave Mustaine? Even members of Metallica find him embarrassing to be around.

Designer_Rants April 2, 2012 at 10:56 am

Have you seen "Some Kind Of Monster"? Excellent, in-depth documentary on Metallica. (interesting even to non-fans, IMO). Dave Mustaine is in it for a little bit, and he's SO WHINY (explaining why he identifies w/ Frothy so much?).

Bonzos_Bed_Time April 2, 2012 at 2:04 pm

This image of course negates it all..

GOPCrusher April 2, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Dimebag Darrell is rolling over in his grave.

horsedreamer_1 April 3, 2012 at 1:01 am

BAAAAARRRRR-GAINS!
Imprisoning me!
All I see… Absolute Savings!
Such a great deal!
Such a great find!
Damn!
These jeans look sexy as hell!

FieryLocks April 2, 2012 at 7:34 pm

And they're right wingers too.

DaRooster April 2, 2012 at 10:51 am

Douches of a feather…

redarmyzombie April 2, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Do smear together?

…Ew.

mavenmaven April 2, 2012 at 10:51 am

All the dumb right wing posing will not make 13 a good or relevant album, try another tactic, loser.

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ April 2, 2012 at 10:52 am

Sarah, meet Bristol's new boyfriend. Despite the earrings, ripped jeans and long hair, he's a conservatard, and very traditional in his values. You two will have sooo much to talk about.

LastGasp April 2, 2012 at 11:13 am

Talk? I give Bristol half an hour before she wants to make a baby with Dave Mustaine.

Biel_ze_Bubba April 2, 2012 at 11:06 pm

What's the half hour for?

HELisforHEL April 2, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Despite the earrings, ripped jeans and long hair, he's a conservatard, and very traditional in his values.

Around these parts, the ripped jeans and long hair are part of the conservatard costume.

ifthethunderdontgetya April 2, 2012 at 10:52 am

To give Metallica a tiny bit of credit, they did kick Brainedead Dave out.

Having said that, they all should be skullfucked. By someone else's private parts.

Wonkette is harshing my boner this morning.
~

prommie April 2, 2012 at 10:58 am

Stop "Arizona Harrassing" Metallica! Some people (R-words) think "Enter Sandman" is art!

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 11:01 am

MARIANO RIVERA LIBEL!

anniegetyerfun April 2, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Seriously, there is nothing here that I can masturbate to today. To whom can I turn?

NewtsChicknNeck April 2, 2012 at 10:52 am

for a bunch of people who hate hollywood, republicans have a funny way of showing it. electing reagan and the terminator. constantly shoving down our throats any bit part actor, obscure musician, or extra from gone with the wind with nazi sympathies as notable republican celebrities.

RedneckMuslin April 2, 2012 at 11:01 am

Rupert from Survivor is running for senator of Indiana as a Libertarian. The Republicans don't have all the Hollywood elite. So there.

prommie April 2, 2012 at 11:05 am

Sonny Fucking Bono. And now, Mrs. Sonny Fucking Bono, who is only has-been-famous by injection.

Biff April 2, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Like that blonde bimbo from SNL, the one famous for being a passenger in a car driven over a cliff by a fucking cat?

HELisforHEL April 2, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Toonsis should have driven the passenger side of the car into a tree.

doloras April 2, 2012 at 6:35 pm

I thought she was most famous for playing the romantic lead in that "Weird Al" Yankovic movie.

Tundra Grifter April 2, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Don't forget one of the first entertainers turned politicians (not counting Governor "You Are My Sunshine" Davis or Gentleman Jimmy Walker) – Sen. George Murphy from California!

SorosBot April 2, 2012 at 10:53 am

Yeah, the sweatervest-wearing, sex-hating, misogynist dweeb would be a "really cool president". Fuck, even Steve Urkel is cooler than Santorum.

redarmyzombie April 2, 2012 at 12:24 pm

See, I like Urkel. If Urkel were here today, as a 20something like myself, I would consider going out with him.

Santorum's like…a used dildo that's been left out too long and started crusting over. (God damn, I'm petty today aren't I?)

DaRooster April 2, 2012 at 10:53 am

Where'd you get those pants… little Missy rack at JC Penney?

Limeylizzie April 2, 2012 at 11:06 am

I love you for that.

Sue4466 April 2, 2012 at 10:54 am

Anyone told Mr. Mustaine about Santorum's position on porn?

larryfinexx April 2, 2012 at 10:55 am

Either Bevis or Butthead used to wear a Metallica T-shirt. I forgot which one, but interview them both to see who they support.

prommie April 2, 2012 at 11:11 am

Didn't Beavis grow up to marry some politician lady from Alaska?

Baconzgood April 2, 2012 at 11:19 am

I have to say. They never made fun of any of the bands I like videos. So they are kinda cool for that.

Chichikovovich April 2, 2012 at 12:51 pm

I always thought B&B tended to have pretty good taste, once you got off the predictable ones (Gwar). And if it weren't for them I'd have never heard of Reverend Horton Heat. So they're 100% OK in my book.

Baconzgood April 2, 2012 at 2:30 pm

They said once about Pavement "This band sucks. They should try harder like the Jesus Lizard"

Gratuitous World April 2, 2012 at 10:55 am

"brain-damaged Hessian japery"

kudos.
that's going in the family x-mas brag letter

WigFlipper April 2, 2012 at 10:56 am

I was a party one time and this guy came up to me saying he sees me all the time waiting for the bus and he would always think I look like Dave Mustaine cuz of the mullet I was rocking for some reason at the time and I took it as a pretty sweet compliment but then I heard that Mustaine is a 'bagger, so that's too bad and I probably shouldn't have had a mullet back then either.

WigFlipper April 2, 2012 at 10:56 am

Could that guy have been hitting on me? Santorum wouldn't have approved if he was!

GOPCrusher April 2, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Should've said "Fuck Mustaine, I'm Barry Melrose."

Chill-A-Sketch April 2, 2012 at 10:56 am

MegaBirfth records must be selling quicker than Santorum vests.

SudsMcKenzie April 2, 2012 at 10:56 am

This is what happens, late in life, when your too "saucy" for Branson.

Jus_Wonderin April 2, 2012 at 10:56 am

Dood, you've got a huge head.

Baconzgood April 2, 2012 at 10:57 am

Heavy metal still sucks.

SorosBot April 2, 2012 at 11:01 am

Heavy metal still rocks and is the most awesomest music ever, you mean.

Baconzgood April 2, 2012 at 11:03 am

Sorry SorosBot we'll just have to agree to disagree that Poison and Winger are shit.

SorosBot April 2, 2012 at 11:09 am

Poison is just awesome, man You'll have to recognize that every rose it's thorn, just like every night has it's dawn, and every cowboy sings a sad, sad song.

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 11:18 am

Poison: the only hair metal band that lived up to its name.

BigSkullF*ckingDog April 2, 2012 at 11:32 am

Sorosbot has a mullet. It's true, look it up!

__kth__ April 2, 2012 at 12:01 pm

In fairness, Poison weren't really metal, just glam rock like all the other tepid and banal followers of the great New York Dolls. But "real" metal is indeed really terrible; apart from Slayer (maybe), there isn't a single band that one can admire unironically.

Biff April 2, 2012 at 12:17 pm

I was dating an older woman when they were relevant, she tried to get me to attend the Ratt/Poison show when it came to her town. I politely declined, she impolitely dumped my ass.

Women, amirite?

ETA: When Poison was relevant, not the older woman. Jesus.

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 11:05 am

Megadeath is to heavy metal what Sarah Palin is to John McCain's legacy.

Heavy metal: good. Hair metal: BLECK! YECCH! PTUI! BAD BOT! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD BOT!

Now, allow me to hook you up to our electrodes for your re-education…

HELisforHEL April 2, 2012 at 1:53 pm

We used to called bands like these 'Pussy Rock'; most the folks we encountered who played it were Joan Crawfordesque supreme primadonnas of the first order, only with larger makeup kits and higher heels.
There's some stuff that's kind of cool, but to my ears so many of the songs appeared to be whiny things created as pentatonic-hammer-on-laced unmelodic guitar solo delivery systems.

GOPCrusher April 2, 2012 at 3:01 pm

The big hair bands of the 80's are not to be confused with heavy metal.
That's like comparing polka to gangsta rap.

PuckStopsHere April 2, 2012 at 10:57 am

These modern musical types ain't exactly "Country Joe and the Fish," are they? If they had a Woodstock, nobody would get high. Or laid, even.

Designer_Rants April 2, 2012 at 11:05 am

They'll get high (on crystal meth).

Chet Kincaid April 2, 2012 at 11:24 am

Haha, "modern"!

ManchuCandidate April 2, 2012 at 10:57 am

I’m an axe grinder, big whiner
Mama says that I never, never mind her
Got no brains, I'm insane
The teacher says that I'm one big pain
I'm like a shitter, sixth string loser
I've got a mouth from a regurgitator
I want nuttier, less Nearer
I'm gonna spread it till it strikes the hour

Bang your head
Santorum will drive you mad
Bang your head
Santorum will drive you mad

ttommyunger April 2, 2012 at 10:57 am

"And, like, Santorum is really cool and stuff, and Obama is all like: 'I'm the President and you're not' and shit like that and Santorum is all down with the good stuff and Obama wasn't even born in America and all and I'm all like 'Fuck Obama, big time.' 'cause I think Santorum is a really cool guy and all." ….Sure Dave, Ted Nugent is holding on line one and Pat Boone is on two.

hagajim April 2, 2012 at 10:58 am

I find it interesting that Dave Mustane and Megadeth became completely irrelevent about the time Dave Mustane became a born again – and even more important – cleaned up the haze in his brain enough to show the world he doesn't have one.

Limeylizzie April 2, 2012 at 10:58 am

I wish that Dave Mustaine had one iota of talent, like , for example, that Messican Nigra-actually Argentinian-Oscar Aleman.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mP7hDZzuQ90

Chet Kincaid April 2, 2012 at 11:34 am

I'll see your Oscar Aleman and raise you a Benny Moré:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYXCW14kx9Q&fe

Limeylizzie April 2, 2012 at 11:47 am

Nice!

Chet Kincaid April 2, 2012 at 12:37 pm

I love the big band Mambo and Latin Jazz stuff from the '40s and '50s, from Cuba to NYC. Here's a Dizzy Gillespie/Chano Pozo classic from that era, originally recorded in the late '40s, though this smokin' session is from 1970:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBWrLXDKixM

nounverb911 April 2, 2012 at 10:59 am

"“kind of like a JFK kind of guy.”
Is Santorum going to schtup the ghost of Marilyn Monroe?

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 10:59 am

Mustaine. Isn't that what your underpants get from Santorum?

elviouslyqueer April 2, 2012 at 10:59 am

That reminds me… you know who else was an embarrassing metalhead conservative?

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 11:04 am

Alice Cooper?

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ April 2, 2012 at 11:05 am

Ahnold?

prommie April 2, 2012 at 11:07 am

eeeewwwwwww!

Mumble_JustSayYesOta April 2, 2012 at 11:22 am

Val Kilmer?

Callyson April 2, 2012 at 11:26 am

Chuck Norris?

FJL April 2, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Janine Turner?

snoopyfan2010 April 2, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Nooooooo. Was it the northern exposure that did it? Or the baby out of wedlock?

FJL April 2, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Yeeeeeeeeessssssssss. For some of her insightful, thought-provoking views check out her blog: http://www.janineturner.com/blog/tag/politics/pag
Oh shit, I hate to give her the pageviews. Just take my word for it: she's a right-wing, whiny, Palin wannabe. Kinda takes away any mystery about what happened to her career. Snicker.

MadBrahms April 2, 2012 at 12:35 pm

The T-1000?

Generation[redacted] April 2, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Rommel's Panzer Division?

GOPCrusher April 2, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Cousin Eddie on National Lampoon's Vacation?

Baconzgood April 2, 2012 at 11:00 am

But what does Gorkey Park think of Newt Gingrich?

smitallica April 2, 2012 at 11:05 am

Wow. Goin' WAY back to the wall for the Gorky Park reference! Well played.
"Bang bang! Blah blah blah-de-blah…" That's all I remember. They were no Autograph.

Designer_Rants April 2, 2012 at 11:10 am

Stryper is also a key indicator. (These jerks had a platinum record??)

GunToting[Redacted] April 2, 2012 at 1:59 pm

I heard Stryper doing a Black Sabbath cover recently (Heaven and Hell). iTunes seems to imply that they did an entire album of metal covers. What a world.

Chill-A-Sketch April 2, 2012 at 11:00 am

A Metalhead's "Cool" normally means "Fucking Lame Ass" in the civilized world

DahBoner April 2, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Black t-shirts, Vitamin D deficiency and mayonaise-on-white bread sam'miches…

donner_froh April 2, 2012 at 11:01 am

At least ever one knows where Dave Mustaine is from–Uranus.

freakishlywrong April 2, 2012 at 11:02 am

So Nugent/Mustaine 12?

donner_froh April 2, 2012 at 11:04 am

. Metallica's former guitarist staked out his paranoid, far-right credentials in an interview with Canadian chat show host George Stroumboulopoulos.

That's easy for you to say…

smitallica April 2, 2012 at 11:04 am

He'd be just like JFK. If JFK had a serious brainstem injury.

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 11:07 am

So post-Nov. 22, 1963?

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ April 2, 2012 at 11:07 am

Too soon!!!

Oh, wait, you're not talking about the book depository, are you.

Baconzgood April 2, 2012 at 11:10 am

I was going to put up a link to the Zapruder film…But even Baconz has his boundries.

SayItWithWookies April 2, 2012 at 11:38 am

They always cut off the last few seconds of that. Or so I found out when I saw some cheap documentary whose only interesting part was that it showed the entire footage — yikes.

GOPCrusher April 2, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Down and to the left, down and to the left, down and to the left……

smitallica April 2, 2012 at 11:13 am

BrainSTEM. Forensic analysis of the Zapruder film clearly shows that most of the damage was to the cerebral cortex, specifically in the frontal and occipital lobe areas. Sheesh.

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 11:23 am

They removed his brain. I think that counts as "brain stem injury"

Infrogmation April 2, 2012 at 4:53 pm

I miss the old days when Presidents brains didn't go missing until AFTER they died.

Infrogmation April 2, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Except of course Santorum wants the country to go back and to the RIGHT.

Mumble_JustSayYesOta April 2, 2012 at 11:06 am

The article heads off with: "Guitarist who was once a vocal Democrat."

You know who else we're better off not having "vocalized" on our behalf?

freakishlywrong April 2, 2012 at 11:14 am

Harold Ford Jr.?

Designer_Rants April 2, 2012 at 11:16 am

Hmm.. I wonder what's changed since he was a "vocal Democrat"? Perhaps the way our current Democratic president looks?

Mumble_JustSayYesOta April 2, 2012 at 11:21 am

The wiki entry indicates otherwise. He's quoted as saying John Kerry turned him off, and at that point, having voted for Clinton beforehand, he voted for Bush.

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 11:23 am

So he hates the French?

__kth__ April 2, 2012 at 11:30 am

Presumably he was passed out on spray paint fumes for the 2000 contest.

Callyson April 2, 2012 at 11:27 am

The 112th Congress?

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 11:44 am

Monica Lewinksi?

anniegetyerfun April 2, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Well, although "vocal" and "oral" are related terms, I don't think that they are interchangable here.

glamourdammerung April 2, 2012 at 9:25 pm

All teabaggers were once Democrats. As well as being gay, black, multibillionaire CEOs.

prommie April 2, 2012 at 11:08 am

I am waiting to hear who is going to get the Juggalo vote. Then I will have one of those sodas they all love.

weej_FukuiKatie April 2, 2012 at 11:10 am

Heads or tails – Mustaine or Pat "Tutti Frutti" Boone, the flip sides of the same coin.

Beowoof April 2, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Maybe they could do a metal version of I almost lost my mind. Oh wait they have both lost their minds.

DaRooster April 2, 2012 at 11:11 am

Scorpions or GTFO!

Baconzgood April 2, 2012 at 11:20 am

Europe/White Snake 2012!

DaRooster April 2, 2012 at 11:33 am

White Lion/Great White 2016!!

Generation[redacted] April 2, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Great White? That's incendiary.

weej_FukuiKatie April 2, 2012 at 11:23 am

Trip down memory lane. The first rock concert my eldest son attended solo was during their Love at First Sting – "Rock You Like a Hurricane" tour.

boobookitteh April 2, 2012 at 11:17 am

I just can't even address this many levels of stupid on a Monday morning.

But the thought of Ricky fucking an intern in the WH swimming pool as JFK is alleged to have done pretty much every day of his Presidency does make me chuckle. And then gag. And then feel sorry for the intern.

sbj1964 April 2, 2012 at 11:20 am

JFK & Rick Santorum alike? Why because they are both white,Male,Catholic,brunnet? One Minor difference JFK was boning Marylin Monroe,and Rick is just a Boner.

Doktor StrangeZoom April 2, 2012 at 11:20 am

I just like that there's a heavy metal band named after the briefing binder that George C Scott was clutching in the War Room.

I wouldn't want to let Dave Mustaine see the Big Board, though.

Callyson April 2, 2012 at 11:21 am

Dave, please *do* go off to Never Never Land…

Limeylizzie April 2, 2012 at 11:21 am

OT Another 5-4 decision by SCOTUS, no not that one, it's about strip searching new prisoners.

metamarcisf April 2, 2012 at 11:22 am

Mustaine still wonders why he got kicked out of Metallica.

Jerri April 2, 2012 at 11:23 am

The best thing about Dave Mustaine is imagining him telling his live-in stylist/girlfriend how she should cut and feather his bangs. (You know he puts some thought into it.)

HELisforHEL April 2, 2012 at 1:57 pm

HAHA
You don't know how right you are.

elviouslyqueer April 2, 2012 at 11:23 am

Um, Dave? When Quiet Riot instructed everyone to "Bang Your Head," I don't think they meant for you to take it so literally.

Maman April 2, 2012 at 11:24 am

Jesus, I really hate stupid people. Plus the thought that I am going to start getting those "who really is Barack Obama" emails from my family makes me want to vomit.

johnnymeatworth April 2, 2012 at 11:25 am

peace sells, but who's buying?

Clancy_Pants April 2, 2012 at 11:27 am

When you listen to Megadeath backward you hear Rick Santorum saying "Bullshit" over and over.

Mojopo April 2, 2012 at 11:27 am

I don't give a MegaCrap. Tell me what the kids on the short bus are saying about politics.

__kth__ April 2, 2012 at 11:28 am

Actually Santorum is as cool as Megadeth ever were.

Exhausted66 April 2, 2012 at 11:30 am

“I know he was born somewhere else than America.” READ MORE »

I thought you were pleading with him.

arihaya April 2, 2012 at 11:31 am

and totally itching for a new Inquisition

nobody expect a Santorum inquisition !!

dadanarchist April 2, 2012 at 11:35 am

“How come [Obama] was invisible until he became, uh, whatever he was in Illinois?” he asked.

Invisible? I thought he was blackety black black ebony panther blackety black, as I am reminded every morning by conservatives with their oogie-boogie/watermelon photos when I open the twatter machine.

Angry_Marmot April 2, 2012 at 11:53 am

He was Ralph Ellison invisible, Man.

Jerri April 2, 2012 at 11:37 am

Hey guys, remember this? Dave Choosing and Losing for MTV at the DNC in 1992:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AP2VKPjwA4

smashedinhat April 2, 2012 at 11:37 am

And there you have it, again. Melt enough brain cells and you'll fit right in with the far right crazies.

An_Outhouse April 2, 2012 at 11:44 am

Paging Tipper Gore! Paging Tipper Gore! This as evidence that certain types of music causes brain damage. Break out the parental warning stickers.

StarsUponThars April 2, 2012 at 11:55 am

Megadick.

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 11:55 am

Mustaine's most famous lyrics start "This one summer? At band camp?"

ElPinche April 2, 2012 at 11:56 am

Who is Barack Obama? He's your daddy. He's leader of the free world who bit the head off the snake of terrorism. Who is Mustang Whatshisface? Some 80s throw back who's been hanging around Steppenwolf at bowling alley gigs for the last 20 years. Fuck off.

FJL April 2, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Get a haircut and a real job, ya fuckin' hippie. You're a disgrace to your party.

randcoolcatdaddy April 2, 2012 at 12:07 pm

I guess people can't find any record of him because they can't find him on the Googles.

CommieLibunatic April 2, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Rick Santorum could be "a really cool president" "like JFK?" What the fucking fuck is he fucking talking about!? My nightmares of cosmic doom are more lucid than that!

HelmutNewton April 2, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Just think about how many brain cells Mustaine has killed over the years. I mean, when you get kicked out of *Metallica* for drinking too much, you know you must be a real out-of-control drunk.

Biff April 2, 2012 at 12:26 pm

How the hell is it that, almost 2 hours into this thread, the phrase
WHERE'S THE DETH CERTIFICATE?
is still available?
You're really slipping, fellow Wonketeers…

larrykat April 2, 2012 at 12:36 pm

When you're fired from a young Metallica for being TOO MUCH of a DRUNK, you know you are a world-class drunk. I sure hope this little dust-up buries what little is left of this moron's career. There is always Spinal Tap 2.

DahBoner April 2, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Does Beavis still wear his Metallica t-shirt on the new show???

lulzmonger April 2, 2012 at 1:28 pm

♬ Exit riiiiiiiight
♪ Enter bliii-ii-iight
♪ Take Dave's hand …
♬ Off to Banjostaniland!

♪♪♪♪♪-♬ ♪♪♪♪♪-♬ ♪♪♪♪♪-♬

Makinglifehell April 2, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Dave Mustaine was never relevant.

GOPCrusher April 2, 2012 at 3:08 pm

His career really went in the toilet after he transferred to USC from Arkansas. Never played QB again.

Boojum April 2, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Rebecca,

You seem to have certain definite facts about Santorum being smegma lipped. What is the source of this undoubtedly true, but probably private thing? Is it his breath?

PinkoTuscadero April 2, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Mustaine has always been a despicable human so this comes as no big shock!!! What a douche.

glamourdammerung April 2, 2012 at 7:01 pm

“How come [Obama] was invisible until he became, uh, whatever he was in Illinois?” he asked.

One hint: The answer is the same as "why were you in rehab?"

FieryLocks April 2, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Of course Dave Mustaine would think Rick Ass Ooze would be a good president.
Mustaine is a Born Again Skull Fucked By Christianity type now.

meatpuppet2 April 2, 2012 at 7:57 pm

About that big hair thing. The 80's called.

horsedreamer_1 April 3, 2012 at 1:09 am

This was foreshadowed by the title of Megadeth's '89 (I think) album Peace Sells… But Who's Buying?. So, of course, the lyricist for such a piece of art would support the party of perpetual war.

Conversely, once Thursday (who released '03's War All the Time) finished adjusting their mascara, they announced their endorsement of the Democratic ticket.

sullivanst April 2, 2012 at 12:08 pm

apart from Slayer (maybe), there isn't a single band that one can admire unironically.

Let me fix that for you, with the help of Bill Bailey

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Black Sabbath would like a word.

GOPCrusher April 2, 2012 at 2:59 pm

FUCKING SLAYER OWNS, BITCHES!

And Norwegian death metal bands are pretty hardcore too.

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 12:24 pm

There was a special on hair metal over the weekend on VH-1 Classic, which basically said if you were a guy who wanted to get laid in the 1980s, you went to hair metal concerts.

Which backs up my experiences, to be sure.

In other words, dude, you missed a sure thing.

Biff April 2, 2012 at 2:42 pm

I did alright. A lot better than now, unfortunately.

snoopyfan2010 April 2, 2012 at 5:24 pm

I don't get it. She is a single mother who supports people who demonize women like her? On the positive side, she likes the Oreo longhorns so I'm safe.

doloras April 2, 2012 at 6:36 pm

If by "hardcore" you mean "Nazi church-burning racists", then yes.

glamourdammerung April 2, 2012 at 9:21 pm

If by "hardcore" you mean "Nazi church-burning racists", then yes.

RON PAUL!111!!!

horsedreamer_1 April 3, 2012 at 1:03 am

They also said, "The Jesus Lizard sucks, but they kick ass!"

I still think Beavis offered the most lucid criticism of both Prodigy & Korn, though. & I love Korn.

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