STUNT CASTING  10:08 am April 2, 2012

Sarah Palin Sure She Will Totally Pwn Katie Couric By Co-Hosting Morning Yap Show

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

All of them, KatieSo, Katie Couric is hosting Good Morning America (zzzzzz) and NBC got all hilarious and tapped former halfterm governor and eighth-wit reptiloid Sarah Palin for some clever/stupid counterprogramming. It’s the Thrilla in Wasilla! (A gig cohosting Today is what passes for INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT NEWS in the New York Media Elite Corridor ever since Manhattan kicked out all its most interesting junkies.) Relive Palin’s glorious lack of interest and curiosity in the world with her original Katie Couric GOTCHA! interview, after the jump.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 132 comments }

Gratuitous World April 2, 2012 at 10:14 am

But who's hosting the 2nd half of the show?

Chill-A-Sketch April 2, 2012 at 10:15 am

All of them, Katie? (somebody had to say it).

LetUsBray April 2, 2012 at 10:16 am

Hitler?

weej_FukuiKatie April 2, 2012 at 10:17 am

The Hostess from Twinkies?

Doktor StrangeZoom April 2, 2012 at 10:18 am

SPAAAAAACE GHOOOOOOST

bagofmice April 2, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Cut Cut Cut Cut Cut Cut Cut Cut !

I would do more, but copy paste on the iPad sucks.

RedneckMuslin April 2, 2012 at 10:18 am

The Megs?

Gratuitous World April 2, 2012 at 10:20 am

only if she wins today's Showcase Showdown

OC_Surf_Serf April 2, 2012 at 10:21 am

Eliot Spitzer?

widestanceromance April 2, 2012 at 10:27 am

Saul Alinsky, findamentally?

SudsMcKenzie April 2, 2012 at 10:35 am

Kathy Lee Giffords empty wine bottle.

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 10:42 am

It would be an improvement.

Come here a minute April 2, 2012 at 10:43 am

In what respect, Charlie?

Chet Kincaid April 2, 2012 at 10:55 am

You can't be first and that good, you're not Barb!

DahBoner April 2, 2012 at 1:17 pm

A used douchebag?

GOPCrusher April 2, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Keith Olbermann?

trampndirtdown April 2, 2012 at 11:56 pm

Not a witch?

Negropolis April 3, 2012 at 2:50 am

Atilla the Hon?

No, fuck it. It'll be Ryan Seacrest. He guest hosts everything.

FakaktaSouth April 2, 2012 at 10:16 am

Jesus Christ I would need ALL the wine Hoda and KathieLee drink in a week just to get thru a morning of listening to the noise coming out of this cunt's face. I hope Katie kicks her ass (again).

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 10:46 am

This news is so bad, Meredith Viera is hightailing it to London early

Chet Kincaid April 2, 2012 at 11:12 am

For an Egyptian, Hoda seems suspiciously like a black woman.

FakaktaSouth April 2, 2012 at 12:00 pm

All of what I know abt HandKL I learned from SNL (Maya Rudolph Kristen Wiig wonderfulness) BUT since I am their target demo (I assume, 35+yo women, home drunk in the middle of the morning) it makes me incredibly annoyed that they think THIS SarahPalin abomination would be what got me hooked. If the Today people were to send me some wine and then do some kind of Japanese game show test while she was on, maybe, but probably still no.

Doktor StrangeZoom April 2, 2012 at 10:16 am

How many "all of them, Katie" jokes will we repost today?

LetUsBray April 2, 2012 at 10:18 am

All of them, Katie.

Sue4466 April 2, 2012 at 10:35 am

You win.

Gleem McShineys April 2, 2012 at 1:28 pm

DIVIDES BY ZERO

Doktor StrangeZoom April 2, 2012 at 1:45 pm
freakishlywrong April 2, 2012 at 10:17 am

Fuck you, media. Having this irrelevant, ignorant, shriller on is like all the introspection I heard this weekend about "messaging" and why Ameriduhs hate the ACA. It was blamed squarely on "the administration". Maybe if you assholes hadn't run around and chased every single shiny Republican lie, the "American people" would be more informed? And here comes Death Panels herself. Fuck you.

Sue4466 April 2, 2012 at 10:40 am

What you said.

But also (too), let's see how the ratings play out as viewers tune in to support their favorite in the latest proxy fight over political football–or whatever the fuck we're calling this democracy game show now. And then the breathless analysis of the political implications of the ratings and what it means for Obama and/or Mittens in November.

snoopyfan2010 April 2, 2012 at 1:14 pm

This is why I don't watch teevee anymore.

Biel_ze_Bubba April 2, 2012 at 10:42 pm

Can we have that in all caps, please?

randcoolcatdaddy April 2, 2012 at 10:17 am

J. Fred Muggs wasn't available.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._Fred_Muggs

Biff April 2, 2012 at 10:43 am

Wow. He is that old, and I never knew he was a co-anchor of some irrelevant morning show on NBC? Maybe Leno IS the only thing they have going for them.

RedneckMuslin April 2, 2012 at 10:17 am

Glad I missed it.

ManchuCandidate April 2, 2012 at 10:18 am

It's not the first time a Palin got used by a desperate aging fool barely hanging on for relevancy in a pathetic attempt to boost his numbers.

prommie April 2, 2012 at 10:32 am

This is funny because its true. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 10:53 am

LEVI JOHNSTON LIBEL!

Chick-Fil-Atheistâ„¢ April 2, 2012 at 10:18 am

There must be a continuum somewhere in which these morning programs matter. And I am not in it, because fuck television. Also.

Mumble_JustSayYesOta April 2, 2012 at 10:18 am

what passes for INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT NEWS in the New York Media Elite Corridor ever since Manhattan kicked out all its most interesting junkies.)

Charles Kuralt was a junkie? Wow, I never knew…

ManchuCandidate April 2, 2012 at 10:22 am

Poon junkie.

Biff April 2, 2012 at 10:36 am

Also Krauthammer, but he's more of a DC junkie, isn't he?

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 10:43 am

You didn't think those "On the Road" specials were cuz he loved America, did you? He was on the run…

OC_Surf_Serf April 2, 2012 at 10:18 am

A morning show on NBC? This is the closest we are going to get to her going away.

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 10:48 am

Don't sell this short: just think, she has to come OUTside and interact with the audience!

I think there's a few jokes to be had at her expense.

Now, I don't want to suggest that somehow Occupy Wall Street will take advantage of this, or that I would be open to any organized Wonketteer action at 30 Rock, because, you know, that would be terribly wrong, but much like if Bart Simpson swings his fist in a wide circle, it's Lisa's fault for walking into them, it would be Sarah's fault if somehow I got on camera with an huge sign saying "Horny Hockey Dads for Palin"…

But I'm not advocating or suggesting this.

GOPCrusher April 2, 2012 at 2:23 pm

It's even more humorous when you stop to consider that she's been basing her media life on the fact that she's too mavericky to play the "gotcha" journalism games by the Lamestream Media outlets like NBC.

Wonder how much she's getting paid for this?

smitallica April 2, 2012 at 10:19 am

It's like "The View," yet somehow even cuntier.

mavenmaven April 2, 2012 at 10:19 am

Next, George Zimmerman gets his own show on Fox.

NorthStarSpanx April 2, 2012 at 10:47 am

I foresee $100,000 speaking gigs for the young iconic representation of an American's love of the 2nd Amendment ($15,000 discount if it is exclusively NRA supportive.)

prommie April 2, 2012 at 11:14 am

Joe the Plumber is on patrol right now, looking for a suspicious kid to shoot, so as to increase his speaking fees.

Isyaignert April 2, 2012 at 11:52 am

Samuel Wurzelbacher "Joe the Plumber" is actually running for Congress in Ohio's 9th District. What a fukkin' joke!!! Marcy Kaptur is going to kick his phoney ass back to the beginning of the last century (which is where the Republicons want to take the country anyway).

elburritodeluxe April 2, 2012 at 10:19 am

It will be a 'Point/Republican Talking Point' segment.

prommie April 2, 2012 at 10:19 am

Shrill cunty political version of Kim Kardashian is shrill, cunty.

sailingthestyx April 2, 2012 at 10:20 am

Gahhhhhhhhhh!

PuckStopsHere April 2, 2012 at 10:20 am

I'm afraid I don't even own a television machine. And this is why, exactly.

widestanceromance April 2, 2012 at 10:25 am

And also with me.

Chick-Fil-Atheistâ„¢ April 2, 2012 at 10:27 am

My wife and I are making household budgetary cuts. I put the landline and teevee on the chopping block, because a) netflix and b) thedailyshow.com

prommie April 2, 2012 at 10:30 am

Hulu, too.

prommie April 2, 2012 at 10:38 am

Get a Roku, is best thing ever.

jetjaguar April 2, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Morning News Routine: Youtube's "watch later" feature + TYT + Majority Report

Lunch News Routine: WONKETTE + many other sites

Evening News Routine: Stewart + Colbert

TVs are for people that REALLY love car commercials.

bagofmice April 2, 2012 at 3:33 pm

The notion of timed non cachable media is so 1990's.

Baconzgood April 2, 2012 at 10:20 am

C'mon people enough is enough. If you just ignore her she'll go away. Let's give her the silent treatment America.

James Michael Curley April 2, 2012 at 10:41 am

!

MoeDeLawn April 2, 2012 at 11:19 am

Your stuttering is cured! Halleluliah!

Chet Kincaid April 2, 2012 at 10:59 am

You are not the boss of America!

redarmyzombie April 2, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Oh, I've tried! Believe me, Baconz, I've tried, but like a curare-resistant tapeworm infection, she Just. Won't. Go. AWAY!!!

Biel_ze_Bubba April 2, 2012 at 10:51 pm

If this is one of those shows they stage in the fishbowl studio at Rockefeller Plaza, she'll never ever go away. There's a permanent mob of tourists on the other side of the glass, and she'll know deep down in her heart that they all showed up just for her.

As for the "silent treatment", well, it's probably just as well she can't hear what they're saying.

Negropolis April 3, 2012 at 2:55 am

If a grifter screeches wildly in the woods for attention and no one is there to hear her, does she make a sound?

Yes, yes, loud enough for the world to hear.

weej_FukuiKatie April 2, 2012 at 10:21 am

Ur move CBS. Mehbe hire Jan "Potty Mouth Protector" Brewer?

hagajim April 2, 2012 at 10:22 am

I didn't realize that a morning news show (such as it is) could jump the shark….I was wrong.

raygotaway April 2, 2012 at 10:24 am

Can't watch. Gerbils cry during morning television. They bleed when Palin opens her mouth.

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 10:52 am

That must get uncomfortable for you, Mr Gere.

Crank_Tango April 2, 2012 at 10:24 am

You're glib, also.

meatpuppet2 April 2, 2012 at 10:26 am

As someone somewhere else mentioned. The wingnuts have forgotten about who stared the recession and who bailed out the banks but they will always remember every single detail about Couric's 'gotcha' interview where she asked the sneaky "what do you like to read" 'gotcha'!

NorthStarSpanx April 2, 2012 at 10:52 am

"How nervous should you all be?" Palin joked, referring to her guest-hosting the program. "What are you doing to prepare?" Lauer asked. "Are you reading some newspapers?"

"Ohhh," Palin said, sounding jokingly insulted. "Here we go."

[She's pretending to be affable, but she's really shit her pants and is digging her caribou bloodied nails into her hands.]

Texan_Bulldog April 2, 2012 at 10:27 am

Matt Lauer asked what she was doing to prepare to co-host & then threw in the zinger 'have you been reading any newspapers?' Snowbilly was not amused.

I assume she doesn't mind being part of the lame stream media now that they are paying her money.

Texan_Bulldog April 2, 2012 at 10:37 am
Beetagger April 2, 2012 at 10:28 am

J. Fred Muggs has met his match.

prommie April 2, 2012 at 10:31 am

Shrill Cunt Smugs.

elviouslyqueer April 2, 2012 at 10:29 am

I'm sorry. Who are we talking about again?

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 10:58 am

All of them, Katie

donner_froh April 2, 2012 at 10:29 am

What an idiot. She must not realize that the host of a news/talk/chat show has to ask questions and pretend to be interested when the guest answers, a skill Palin will never accomplish.

Goonemeritus April 2, 2012 at 10:32 am

I avoid morning TV because I have EOD (easily offended disorder). I feel I must not suffer alone with this malady because most networks roll out milk toast presenters in their AM slots. If I ever turned on my TV to start my day and was confronted with Sarah’s daily dose of sub psychotic rage and conspiracy theories I would have to crawl under my bed and cry.

bagofmice April 2, 2012 at 3:36 pm

If only we could advance the third character in EOD by two ASCII units.

widestanceromance April 2, 2012 at 10:34 am

I wouldn't even watch a transcript of this.

fuflans April 2, 2012 at 9:23 pm

actually, it's pretty funny to watch her blather on about pakistan – of which she knows nothing and has barely remembered that one line she heard from steve schmidt even though she hates steve schmidt and isn't exactly sure if it's pakistan or somewhere else 'stan' and probably brown – still!! she is sure people of pakistan want freedom and would never harbor al qaeda.

elviouslyqueer April 2, 2012 at 10:37 am

Because nothing says "Monday morning" like posts featuring old leathery insane drag queens. Sheesh. Thanks for nothing, Rebecca.

Chet Kincaid April 2, 2012 at 11:02 am

That really hurts Dave Mustaine's feelings!

Biff April 2, 2012 at 10:39 am

I remember that!

anniegetyerfun April 2, 2012 at 10:39 am

DUDE. Not cool.

SudsMcKenzie April 2, 2012 at 10:40 am

Where in the world is Palins Gibberish.

James Michael Curley April 2, 2012 at 10:42 am

Checkers out lived Nixon?

BarackMyWorld April 2, 2012 at 10:42 am

Is there an alternate universe where she's still primarily known as Sarah Heath, terrible sportscaster?

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 10:59 am

All of them, Katie.

Chet Kincaid April 2, 2012 at 11:07 am

Correction: Sarah Heath-Rice, Terrible Sportscaster. But Glen shot himself on their first anniversary.

James Michael Curley April 2, 2012 at 10:44 am

If stupidly irrelevant on NBC this morning is not your style, you could have switched to banally irrelevant on ABC with George Sunffelupagus and Katie Couric.

prommie April 2, 2012 at 10:45 am

I live with a West Highland Terrier. She is a regal, but tiny, dog, who loves me and my wife to distraction. Her shrill, annoying bark turns to a frenzied squeeling sound when we come home. This is music, compared to the sounds that come from Sarah Palin's mouth.

ttommyunger April 2, 2012 at 11:02 am

Westies are too fucking cool! You are lucky to be owned by one.

prommie April 2, 2012 at 11:17 am

Her gaze unnerves me, I fear that she sees right through me.

ttommyunger April 2, 2012 at 11:28 am

My five will be together in a room….when I walk in they fall silent. I know they are plotting against me.

prommie April 2, 2012 at 11:38 am

Mine keeps a Cairn Terrier as a pet. She bosses and scolds him unmercifully, especially when he does something stupid, she yells at him.

actor212 April 2, 2012 at 11:34 am

If her eyes follow you around the room judgementally, you might have Sarah Palin

prommie April 2, 2012 at 11:41 am

My terrier is much smarter than Palin. I mean this in a strictly literal sense.

HippieEsq April 2, 2012 at 10:46 am

This ridiculously asinine move on NBC's part makes me want to boycott NBC. Except by personal taste I already boycott NBC. Screw those Kabletown idiots.

Poindexter718 April 2, 2012 at 10:48 am

What's the difference b/t a Today guest hostess and a colostomy bag?
Lipstick & corrective lenses.

Tundra Grifter April 2, 2012 at 10:49 am

If anyone would like to be cheered up on a Monday morning, a brief Internets search told me the state of Alaska never had the death penalty.

The idea that Duh Gov'Nuh would hold the power of life and death in her hands was just more than I could take. To learn it never happened was a ray of sunshine.

Biel_ze_Bubba April 2, 2012 at 10:59 pm

That would have put a whole new spin on "ultimate penalty."
Or not … hardly worse than having Dumbya or Rick Perry send you to your death.

SudsMcKenzie April 2, 2012 at 10:49 am

The third hour is sponsored by the letter "T".

DahBoner April 2, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Teutonic Turkey Twat?

Devilette April 2, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Damn, I was gonna use that line! Good thing I always read the comments first.

Jus_Wonderin April 2, 2012 at 10:50 am

GAH!

Chet Kincaid April 2, 2012 at 10:54 am

What skullfuckery is this?!

ttommyunger April 2, 2012 at 11:10 am

More exposure is good for America. As my late father used to say of my first wife: "To know her is to hate her."

BarackMyWorld April 2, 2012 at 11:12 am
ThundercatHo April 2, 2012 at 11:53 am

Ladymullet! Eyeshadow! Flat affect!

Gleem McShineys April 2, 2012 at 1:43 pm

"LOTS OF DOGS"

Are the initials for the station WDERP?

cheetojeebus April 2, 2012 at 11:16 am

I'm fairly sure, and we can get Ricky to verify this, but isn't this the first sign of the apocalypse as foretold in ye ol Gideon's? or is it something more mundane, for example just more bullshit TV programming akin to watching skanky idiots booze it up in New Jersey while humping potted plants?

imissopus April 2, 2012 at 12:45 pm

SITUATION LIBEL!

An_Outhouse April 2, 2012 at 11:31 am

The lawyers at Faux are none too smart allowing one of their own to appear on a competitor. Isn't Fox and Fiends more the mean girl's style?

mrblifil April 2, 2012 at 11:33 am

I'm guessing lots of interviews with basketball players.

Angry_Marmot April 2, 2012 at 12:02 pm

There hasn't been a decent morning fap show since… What? Never mind.

Smithboy April 2, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Just so you don't forget how this idiot came to be a vice presidential candidate…She was visited by Bill Kristol, the neocon who helped spearhead the disaster known as the Iraq war and is currently trying to press the US to fight a second proxy war for Israel, this time with Iran.

Kristol saw in Palin another GW BUSH who would take orders from the neocons and, should Pres. McCain kick the bucket, Palin would be right there to ask, "Mr. Netanyahu should we bomb Iran with nuclear or would convention bombs be acceptable?"

redarmyzombie April 2, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Oh god…oh, god, I think I'm gonna HUUUURRRR…HURR…

…HHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKK!!!

Oh god, I haven't even been touching the liquor cabinet, and already I feel sick…

Soylent Green April 2, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Now, I'LL ask the gotcha questions! Mr. President, do you still beat your wife?

fitley April 2, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Palin is Two Niblets Short of a Steaming Pile of Shit.

nonbeliever7 April 2, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Personally, I give NBC some credit. Brian Williams and Matt Lauer are probably running an office pool on when snowbilly makes her first stupid comment.

DahBoner April 2, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Sarah Palin's voice reminds me of the industrial noise phase of the Butthole Surfers

…without the charming name.

lulzmonger April 2, 2012 at 1:33 pm

"It's … it's full of fail!"

Has-Been versus Never-Was: KLASH OF TEH TITANS.

SkinnyNerd April 2, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Manhattan kicked out all its most interesting junkies.

Are you referring to news junkies or junkie junkies?

JustPixelz April 2, 2012 at 2:25 pm

HOORAY! Another use for the mute button.

She can just hold her hand up to the camera and we'll know everything she does.

They can rename the show "Good Mourning America".

fuflans April 2, 2012 at 9:10 pm

god. that just never gets old.

southrnbelle100 April 3, 2012 at 12:10 am

Honey, the only people who will be watching you tomorrow are your minor children who will be denied breakfast if they don't and those with guns pointed at their heads.

On second thought, probably just your minor children.

As for me, if I wanted to look at ugly, dried-up, old whores are 7:00 in the morning, I'd take a walk down Hollywood Boulevard.

ttommyunger April 2, 2012 at 11:43 am

Guests our home have commented on how my five look them in the eyes. I love to look into their eyes; I see a soul every time.

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