So, Katie Couric is hosting Good Morning America (zzzzzz) and NBC got all hilarious and tapped former halfterm governor and eighth-wit reptiloid Sarah Palin for some clever/stupid counterprogramming. It’s the Thrilla in Wasilla! (A gig cohosting Today is what passes for INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT NEWS in the New York Media Elite Corridor ever since Manhattan kicked out all its most interesting junkies.) Relive Palin’s glorious lack of interest and curiosity in the world with her original Katie Couric GOTCHA! interview, after the jump.
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But who's hosting the 2nd half of the show?
All of them, Katie? (somebody had to say it).
Hitler?
The Hostess from Twinkies?
SPAAAAAACE GHOOOOOOST
Cut Cut Cut Cut Cut Cut Cut Cut !
I would do more, but copy paste on the iPad sucks.
The Megs?
only if she wins today's Showcase Showdown
Eliot Spitzer?
Saul Alinsky, findamentally?
Kathy Lee Giffords empty wine bottle.
It would be an improvement.
In what respect, Charlie?
You can't be first and that good, you're not Barb!
A used douchebag?
Keith Olbermann?
Not a witch?
Atilla the Hon?
No, fuck it. It'll be Ryan Seacrest. He guest hosts everything.
Jesus Christ I would need ALL the wine Hoda and KathieLee drink in a week just to get thru a morning of listening to the noise coming out of this cunt's face. I hope Katie kicks her ass (again).
This news is so bad, Meredith Viera is hightailing it to London early
For an Egyptian, Hoda seems suspiciously like a black woman.
All of what I know abt HandKL I learned from SNL (Maya Rudolph Kristen Wiig wonderfulness) BUT since I am their target demo (I assume, 35+yo women, home drunk in the middle of the morning) it makes me incredibly annoyed that they think THIS SarahPalin abomination would be what got me hooked. If the Today people were to send me some wine and then do some kind of Japanese game show test while she was on, maybe, but probably still no.
How many "all of them, Katie" jokes will we repost today?
All of them, Katie.
You win.
DIVIDES BY ZERO
Typed "Google" into Google!
Fuck you, media. Having this irrelevant, ignorant, shriller on is like all the introspection I heard this weekend about "messaging" and why Ameriduhs hate the ACA. It was blamed squarely on "the administration". Maybe if you assholes hadn't run around and chased every single shiny Republican lie, the "American people" would be more informed? And here comes Death Panels herself. Fuck you.
What you said.
But also (too), let's see how the ratings play out as viewers tune in to support their favorite in the latest proxy fight over political football–or whatever the fuck we're calling this democracy game show now. And then the breathless analysis of the political implications of the ratings and what it means for Obama and/or Mittens in November.
This is why I don't watch teevee anymore.
Can we have that in all caps, please?
J. Fred Muggs wasn't available.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._Fred_Muggs
Wow. He is that old, and I never knew he was a co-anchor of some irrelevant morning show on NBC? Maybe Leno IS the only thing they have going for them.
Glad I missed it.
It's not the first time a Palin got used by a desperate aging fool barely hanging on for relevancy in a pathetic attempt to boost his numbers.
This is funny because its true. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
LEVI JOHNSTON LIBEL!
There must be a continuum somewhere in which these morning programs matter. And I am not in it, because fuck television. Also.
what passes for INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT NEWS in the New York Media Elite Corridor ever since Manhattan kicked out all its most interesting junkies.)
Charles Kuralt was a junkie? Wow, I never knew…
Poon junkie.
Also Krauthammer, but he's more of a DC junkie, isn't he?
You didn't think those "On the Road" specials were cuz he loved America, did you? He was on the run…
A morning show on NBC? This is the closest we are going to get to her going away.
Don't sell this short: just think, she has to come OUTside and interact with the audience!
I think there's a few jokes to be had at her expense.
Now, I don't want to suggest that somehow Occupy Wall Street will take advantage of this, or that I would be open to any organized Wonketteer action at 30 Rock, because, you know, that would be terribly wrong, but much like if Bart Simpson swings his fist in a wide circle, it's Lisa's fault for walking into them, it would be Sarah's fault if somehow I got on camera with an huge sign saying "Horny Hockey Dads for Palin"…
But I'm not advocating or suggesting this.
It's even more humorous when you stop to consider that she's been basing her media life on the fact that she's too mavericky to play the "gotcha" journalism games by the Lamestream Media outlets like NBC.
Wonder how much she's getting paid for this?
It's like "The View," yet somehow even cuntier.
Next, George Zimmerman gets his own show on Fox.
I foresee $100,000 speaking gigs for the young iconic representation of an American's love of the 2nd Amendment ($15,000 discount if it is exclusively NRA supportive.)
Joe the Plumber is on patrol right now, looking for a suspicious kid to shoot, so as to increase his speaking fees.
Samuel Wurzelbacher "Joe the Plumber" is actually running for Congress in Ohio's 9th District. What a fukkin' joke!!! Marcy Kaptur is going to kick his phoney ass back to the beginning of the last century (which is where the Republicons want to take the country anyway).
It will be a 'Point/Republican Talking Point' segment.
Shrill cunty political version of Kim Kardashian is shrill, cunty.
Gahhhhhhhhhh!
I'm afraid I don't even own a television machine. And this is why, exactly.
And also with me.
My wife and I are making household budgetary cuts. I put the landline and teevee on the chopping block, because a) netflix and b) thedailyshow.com
Hulu, too.
Get a Roku, is best thing ever.
Morning News Routine: Youtube's "watch later" feature + TYT + Majority Report
Lunch News Routine: WONKETTE + many other sites
Evening News Routine: Stewart + Colbert
TVs are for people that REALLY love car commercials.
The notion of timed non cachable media is so 1990's.
C'mon people enough is enough. If you just ignore her she'll go away. Let's give her the silent treatment America.
!
Your stuttering is cured! Halleluliah!
You are not the boss of America!
Oh, I've tried! Believe me, Baconz, I've tried, but like a curare-resistant tapeworm infection, she Just. Won't. Go. AWAY!!!
If this is one of those shows they stage in the fishbowl studio at Rockefeller Plaza, she'll never ever go away. There's a permanent mob of tourists on the other side of the glass, and she'll know deep down in her heart that they all showed up just for her.
As for the "silent treatment", well, it's probably just as well she can't hear what they're saying.
If a grifter screeches wildly in the woods for attention and no one is there to hear her, does she make a sound?
Yes, yes, loud enough for the world to hear.
Ur move CBS. Mehbe hire Jan "Potty Mouth Protector" Brewer?
I didn't realize that a morning news show (such as it is) could jump the shark….I was wrong.
Can't watch. Gerbils cry during morning television. They bleed when Palin opens her mouth.
That must get uncomfortable for you, Mr Gere.
You're glib, also.
As someone somewhere else mentioned. The wingnuts have forgotten about who stared the recession and who bailed out the banks but they will always remember every single detail about Couric's 'gotcha' interview where she asked the sneaky "what do you like to read" 'gotcha'!
"How nervous should you all be?" Palin joked, referring to her guest-hosting the program. "What are you doing to prepare?" Lauer asked. "Are you reading some newspapers?"
"Ohhh," Palin said, sounding jokingly insulted. "Here we go."
[She's pretending to be affable, but she's really shit her pants and is digging her caribou bloodied nails into her hands.]
Matt Lauer asked what she was doing to prepare to co-host & then threw in the zinger 'have you been reading any newspapers?' Snowbilly was not amused.
I assume she doesn't mind being part of the lame stream media now that they are paying her money.
Here's a link to it: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/02/sarah-pa…
J. Fred Muggs has met his match.
Shrill Cunt Smugs.
I'm sorry. Who are we talking about again?
All of them, Katie
What an idiot. She must not realize that the host of a news/talk/chat show has to ask questions and pretend to be interested when the guest answers, a skill Palin will never accomplish.
I avoid morning TV because I have EOD (easily offended disorder). I feel I must not suffer alone with this malady because most networks roll out milk toast presenters in their AM slots. If I ever turned on my TV to start my day and was confronted with Sarah’s daily dose of sub psychotic rage and conspiracy theories I would have to crawl under my bed and cry.
If only we could advance the third character in EOD by two ASCII units.
I wouldn't even watch a transcript of this.
actually, it's pretty funny to watch her blather on about pakistan – of which she knows nothing and has barely remembered that one line she heard from steve schmidt even though she hates steve schmidt and isn't exactly sure if it's pakistan or somewhere else 'stan' and probably brown – still!! she is sure people of pakistan want freedom and would never harbor al qaeda.
Because nothing says "Monday morning" like posts featuring old leathery insane drag queens. Sheesh. Thanks for nothing, Rebecca.
That really hurts Dave Mustaine's feelings!
I remember that!
DUDE. Not cool.
Where in the world is Palins Gibberish.
Checkers out lived Nixon?
Is there an alternate universe where she's still primarily known as Sarah Heath, terrible sportscaster?
All of them, Katie.
Correction: Sarah Heath-Rice, Terrible Sportscaster. But Glen shot himself on their first anniversary.
If stupidly irrelevant on NBC this morning is not your style, you could have switched to banally irrelevant on ABC with George Sunffelupagus and Katie Couric.
I live with a West Highland Terrier. She is a regal, but tiny, dog, who loves me and my wife to distraction. Her shrill, annoying bark turns to a frenzied squeeling sound when we come home. This is music, compared to the sounds that come from Sarah Palin's mouth.
Westies are too fucking cool! You are lucky to be owned by one.
Her gaze unnerves me, I fear that she sees right through me.
My five will be together in a room….when I walk in they fall silent. I know they are plotting against me.
Mine keeps a Cairn Terrier as a pet. She bosses and scolds him unmercifully, especially when he does something stupid, she yells at him.
If her eyes follow you around the room judgementally, you might have Sarah Palin
My terrier is much smarter than Palin. I mean this in a strictly literal sense.
This ridiculously asinine move on NBC's part makes me want to boycott NBC. Except by personal taste I already boycott NBC. Screw those Kabletown idiots.
What's the difference b/t a Today guest hostess and a colostomy bag?
Lipstick & corrective lenses.
If anyone would like to be cheered up on a Monday morning, a brief Internets search told me the state of Alaska never had the death penalty.
The idea that Duh Gov'Nuh would hold the power of life and death in her hands was just more than I could take. To learn it never happened was a ray of sunshine.
That would have put a whole new spin on "ultimate penalty."
Or not … hardly worse than having Dumbya or Rick Perry send you to your death.
The third hour is sponsored by the letter "T".
Teutonic Turkey Twat?
Damn, I was gonna use that line! Good thing I always read the comments first.
GAH!
What skullfuckery is this?!
More exposure is good for America. As my late father used to say of my first wife: "To know her is to hate her."
Charisma!
Ladymullet! Eyeshadow! Flat affect!
"LOTS OF DOGS"
Are the initials for the station WDERP?
I'm fairly sure, and we can get Ricky to verify this, but isn't this the first sign of the apocalypse as foretold in ye ol Gideon's? or is it something more mundane, for example just more bullshit TV programming akin to watching skanky idiots booze it up in New Jersey while humping potted plants?
SITUATION LIBEL!
The lawyers at Faux are none too smart allowing one of their own to appear on a competitor. Isn't Fox and Fiends more the mean girl's style?
I'm guessing lots of interviews with basketball players.
There hasn't been a decent morning fap show since… What? Never mind.
Just so you don't forget how this idiot came to be a vice presidential candidate…She was visited by Bill Kristol, the neocon who helped spearhead the disaster known as the Iraq war and is currently trying to press the US to fight a second proxy war for Israel, this time with Iran.
Kristol saw in Palin another GW BUSH who would take orders from the neocons and, should Pres. McCain kick the bucket, Palin would be right there to ask, "Mr. Netanyahu should we bomb Iran with nuclear or would convention bombs be acceptable?"
Oh god…oh, god, I think I'm gonna HUUUURRRR…HURR…
…
…HHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKK!!!
Oh god, I haven't even been touching the liquor cabinet, and already I feel sick…
Now, I'LL ask the gotcha questions! Mr. President, do you still beat your wife?
Palin is Two Niblets Short of a Steaming Pile of Shit.
Personally, I give NBC some credit. Brian Williams and Matt Lauer are probably running an office pool on when snowbilly makes her first stupid comment.
Sarah Palin's voice reminds me of the industrial noise phase of the Butthole Surfers…
…without the charming name.
"It's … it's full of fail!"
Has-Been versus Never-Was: KLASH OF TEH TITANS.
Manhattan kicked out all its most interesting junkies.
Are you referring to news junkies or junkie junkies?
HOORAY! Another use for the mute button.
She can just hold her hand up to the camera and we'll know everything she does.
They can rename the show "Good Mourning America".
god. that just never gets old.
Honey, the only people who will be watching you tomorrow are your minor children who will be denied breakfast if they don't and those with guns pointed at their heads.
On second thought, probably just your minor children.
As for me, if I wanted to look at ugly, dried-up, old whores are 7:00 in the morning, I'd take a walk down Hollywood Boulevard.
Guests our home have commented on how my five look them in the eyes. I love to look into their eyes; I see a soul every time.
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