GAHHH I'm probably going to email Wonkette about this mean post because I'm so tiresome and defensive GAHHH!!!Sanctimonious screeching creep Keith Olbermann, whose ego isn’t the size of Jupiter but certainly is that of Jupiter’s largest moon, has been fired from his 757th job on television, for being horrible. Current TeeVee owner and other relatively liberal person Al Gore was the one who did the firing, in an explosive memo which arrived at the common conclusion that Keith Olbermann is someone with whom it’s impossible to work. His replacement — starting tonight — will be former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer, last seen achieving the remarkable feat of being CNN’s most boring primetime host and, before that, constantly having sex with prostitutes. But but but, you will inevitably say in the comments because that’s what you always do on Olbermann posts, Keith Olbermann was the only thing that kept me sane during the Bush administration, with his unwatchable 10-minute fake rants where he pretended to be Ed Murrow! Never understood it; can’t offer you much help in that regard.

THE POLITICO has the hot cable television news, of Al Bore being mean to Dearest Keith:

“Current was also founded on the values of respect, openness, collegiality, and loyalty to our viewers,” write Current founders Al Gore and Joel Hyatt in an open memo to viewers. “Unfortunately these values are no longer reflected in our relationship with Keith Olbermann and we have ended it.”

Editor Rebecca has asked your author to post some “greatest hits” of his craziest moments, but your author has never watched Keith Olbermann’s Current TV program. Here he is announcing that he’d been forced out of his last job:

You can catch Olbermann reading Thurber out of a cardboard box in Central Park, weeknights at 3 a.m.

UPDATE: Keith is suing Al Gore!


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  • GunToting[Redacted]

    The best thing Keith ever did was introduce me (and much of the world, I'd expect) to Rachel Maddow, who does what Keith only dreams he can… Be funny, insightful, and able to tear down someone without being an asshole about it.

    • But the guy who gave her her first big TV break was (choke) Tucker Carlson.

      • rockymissouri

        Tucker Carlson sucks so bad…..

    • Lucidamente1

      Yeah, but it was Lizz Winstead who hired her to Air America Radio, which started her much-deserved ascent.

      • Generation[redacted]

        Air Who Radio?

        Sorry, never did dig the talk radio format. Except NPR where I feel like I get actual news and not commentary.

        I remember right wing radio gloating over the collapse of air america and thinking, "You know, I'm just not like you. A radio show where you spend 3 hours talking about people you hate, that's your thing, not mine."

        • Loaded_Pants

          Air America was pretty good. Except I hated Randi Rhodes who just seemed to want to be a hateful liberal equivalent of Limbaugh. But they also had Thom Hartmann and Maddow.
          I think the major reason Air America failed was because it didn't have gobs of corporate money behind like it right wing radio.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Plus their audience had day jobs. (Ever wonder who has 3 hours in the middle of the day to listen to Limburger?)

          • Fare la Volpe

            My old boss.

            And yes, the company did fold under after I left, how did you guess?

          • ImpureScience

            I worked in a cubicle farm once and my next door cube neighbor would listen to that stuff on his headphones, talking to himself (or back to the radio) angrily, for hours on end. I don't know how he ever got anything done.

          • I used to listen to it about 10 years ago. I could actually stand "Big Ed" back then, and Marc Maron is always enjoyable (because he's FUNNY!). But the REAL draw for me was Al Franken. Damn is he a smart liberal. A little too smarmy after 2 hours sometimes, but that's who brought me back to the station daily when I had XM radio. Now I just listen to NPR.

          • That Al Franken show was great! Did you hear the one here he imitates Limbaugh at a hot dog stand? Funniest thing ever.

          • I can't remember any of his specific bits (my neurons turn to mush after a few years!) I just remember being riveted to my car radio when his show was on. Lots of those "Driveway Moments" that NPR talks about every pledge-drive.

          • Generation[redacted]

            Ah yes, I think Randi was who I heard the one time I listened. I immediately concluded they were trying to be the anti-Rush and turned it off. I felt good knowing that hate radio failed with me as the target audience.

          • commiegirl

            I love Randi Rhodes. I had to stop listening because it was nine minutes of commercials followed by three minutes of talk, and repeat.

          • And lather and rinse?

        • vodkamuppet

          I loved it. Stephanie Miller in the morning, Thom Hartman at noon and Schultz at 3 when I was in a hurry to get the hell out of work.

          • finallyhappy

            wait air america is gone- then how am I listening to political shows like Cartalk and puzzles with Wil Shortz

          • vodkamuppet

            The better question to ask is why.

      • Biff

        Yeah, I was her pretend lesbian boyfriend from the minute I first heard her there.

      • FakaktaSouth

        Lizz Winstead, Rachel Maddow and Chuck D ruminating and proselytizing. That show was fantastic and smart as hell. I loved it.

        • Well, Chuck D is a genius.

          • horsedreamer_1

            Also, an anti-Semite.

            Who would have thought Flava Flav was the most conscientious member of that group?

          • Oh, I didn't know that. Fuck him, then.

    • CommieLibunatic

      My attitude was always "Aw, I missed Rachel Maddow… and now I guess I have to settle for THIS guy." That and the graphic for his NBC show was pretty cool.

      • Forgot about the graphics, they had kind of a dystopian vibe that was pretty cool.

    • Negropolis

      Amen. I love Rachel's personality. I also like that she doesn't mind apologizing when her show gets something wrong. So often for the egos, it's like pulling teeth to get a correction out of them on a story.

      Her show doesn't feel like an echo chamber, and she doesn't talk down to people. She obviously liberal, but she doesn't make it seem like you're watching a liberal play. When you respect the intelligence of your audience, you're already starting out on a good foot.

      • John_Miles

        FYI, Keith would apologize for getting things wrong on his show.

        As far as Rachel's show feeling less like an echo chamber, maybe. But she doesn't have much of an easier time getting conservatives to appear on her show than Keith would've. Rather than adopting the Faux News tactic of bringing a weak opponent from the other side on just to tear them down, Keith preferred having conversations with people. It's not an echo chamber if you're getting your news from other places as well, as you should be.


      …insightful, and able to tear down someone without being an asshole…Yes, but funny? Mmmm, I don't think so.

  • Barb

    Bad Keith, go to my room!

    • An Asexual Ungulate

      Where he can deliver ten minute faux-Murrow rants?

    • Texan_Bulldog

      You'd do Keith? Not me; he looks short & in some long shots, he looks like he hasn't missed a meal–Ever.

      I'm thinking Thomas Roberts (he's gay but I'd try my best to turn him) or Richard Lui on MSNBC are mighty handsome.

      • Barb

        Hey Texan! Good to see ya. Keith has some cuteness about him. I Googled Richard Lui just now. Real cutie! Do you watch The Mentalist? The guy who plays Detective Cho, Tim Kang is cute.

        My sister, who lives in Mobile asked me to buy some Mega Millions Lottery tickets for her and I did. Now she is going around and asking all her friends if they want tickets. Okay, Texan, if you purchased tickets for people for a 650 million dollar jackpot and they didn't front you the money, would you give them the winning ticket, lol?

        • commiegirl

          I am all about Detective Cho. But I have incurable Yalla Fever.

          • anniegetyerfun

            I am right there with you.

        • Texan_Bulldog

          Yes, he is cute. I'm not really into Asian men but handsome men are so fun to look at. (As is Lenny Kravitz….sorry, I slipped into a daydream for a minute).

          And, we'd definitely have to negotiate my cut from the winning lottery ticket if I wasn't fronted the money. What state do you reside in?

      • Negropolis

        Keith is like 6'4" and a lot heavier than he looks behind a desk from what I've seen of him on the late-night shows. The New York tabloids haven't been kind to his love life, either.

    • You must be thinking of Ben Affleck's version of Keith.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Good night and good luck with that.

    • Sue4466

      For the record, I get your point.

    • fuflans

      darling, you have the cutest kittehs.

      but keith. meh. boring

    • I used to think he was kinda Clark Kent-sexy in the early Countdown years… (pretend you're a mild-mannered reporter, baby! yowww!)

    • rockymissouri

      Hahaha…! I love Keith…and think he's brilliant… The loss is ours, I'm afraid…

  • Coming up next: "Environmental Twits with Jose Canseco"

  • Olbermann was lousy on ESPN and hasn't improved.

    • Chichikovovich

      You think? I thought the show he did with Dan Patrick was spectacular, especially when compared to the visual barbituates that other sports news shows at the time offered. It was everything he did subsequent to that I found unbearable.

      • user-of-owls

        Whatever his sins, and they are legion, I will always smile when I think of an intro he did on SportsCenter. The Utah Jazz had won big and Alonzo had scored a bajillion points. The line?

        Mourning becomes electric.

        Seriously, the percentage of the audience that actually caught that could only be measured in microns.

        • Had to look it up. I'm not cultured.

          • user-of-owls

            Well, good. I put a little hoi in your polloi.

        • Chichikovovich

          He tossed out all sorts of gems like that. Made watching him such a pleasure. He and Patrick made a great team – Olbermann his usual self, Patrick so gracious, even tempered, genuinely fond of KO and tolerant of his antics. Patrick is also a very smart guy, and so they riffed off one another. How many times can someone expect to catch lightning in a bottle like that? You're lucky if you manage it once in a lifetime.

          I really thought Olbermann showed himself to be a fool when he couldn't control himself enough to keep from fucking that up by alienating everyone around him. That, and the fact that his ego blinded him to the fact that bringing millions of people genuine pleasure with a lively, original, engaging sports show is worth doing, and should not be regarded as an inferior way to spend your time, compared to not-particularly-insightful-or-funny pundit bloviation.

          • Thinking back on "Sports Center" I must agree with you guys. He peaked on ESPN and has been going downhill (at an increasing rate) since he left them would have made more sense.

          • user-of-owls

            He is his own Worst Enemy in the World.

        • finallyhappy

          I get the literary reference but I don't know what game the Utah Jazz plays- I'm figuring it was not a band contest.

          • user-of-owls

            No, they play in the APDTL (American Professional Dwarf-Tossing League).

      • Guppy

        All I know of the subject I learned from watching Sports Night.

        • user-of-owls

          Wow, that lasted about 2 3/4 seasons longer than most Olbermann of late!

  • MarcelleMarceau

    Well. There's one more on the unemployment rolls.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Daily Callgirl headline tomorrow.

      Unemployment Increases Under Obama

  • Whoah. Olbermann sure has been tearing up the pea patch and hollering down the rain barrel.

    • I read a Playboy article a few years ago about his Manhattan highrise and girls-half-his-age lifestyle. Sounds expensive. You'd think he'd exercise some job-stabilizing behavior.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Well shuck my corn, that's some damn fine country witticisms you got there.

      • Doktor StrangeZoom

        So far out in the country that they're Barberisms…

    • Negropolis

      From where in the South are you?

      • Massachusetts. But my uncle used to read me Thurber.

        • user-of-owls

          Hey, I'm a Masshole too! And man, I'm from the deep south…just over the Rhode Island border! How's them apples?!

          • Providence? That is deep south indeed. Where are you from originally, my feathered friend?

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            That's three of us. So far.

          • Yay! Massholes unite!

          • user-of-owls

            Franklin represent! Youse guys?

          • Boston here.

            Had a great cab ride the other day. Big, muscly dude. Bruins jersey, heavy boston accent, looked like a thug. Went on and on about how he wanted to beat up Rush Limbaugh and how he hated monotheism wicked bad.

          • user-of-owls

            From a Bruins fan?!?! That, my Masshole friend, is the very definition of wicked pissah…

            As you saw, I'm just a country rube. We used to think Woonsocket (!) was a feckin' metropolis. My beloved niece and god-daughter is in her second year at Emmanuel College…in the Fens, baby! Listening to the Sawx as we speak. Bet I'm the only one in Arkansas who can say that right now!

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Exit 5. And then (what a snob!) college, at one of those Cambridge joints.

        • jaytingle

          Scraping the bottom of the pickle barrel are we?

  • RadioStalingrad

    Maybe he should start a blog or something.

    • nounverb911

      • RadioStalingrad


        • nounverb911

          Between gigs he had "Friends of". I'd say he's probably down to a single friend now.

        • Generation[redacted]

          And the online educational course, FoK-U?

        • FoKs news?

  • Thurman Munster IV

    OT, but did Scrotorum just call the Sheriff a"ni"?

    • Texan_Bulldog

      That was covered at 10:51 a.m. today. Scroll down about 10 stories on the home page.

      • Thurman Munster IV

        But it bears repeating. I'm not used to the million post marches every day

        • Steverino247

          Get in step, troop!

        • I posted the same thing on the last story. I didn't realize it's old news already either.

          • C_R_Eature

            Duuuude, that was Sooo 20 seconds ago!

          • Layoff! I've got AOL!

          • C_R_Eature

            Oh. I am so, so sorry.

            I know a guy who works for AOL. Would you like me to punch him out for you?

          • At least just tell him he's the Worst Person In The World for me.

          • C_R_Eature

            You got it. I'll even throw in a Dope Slap, for free.

          • Negropolis

            AOL? That's, like, still a thing, or something?

          • I don't really have AOL *shudder*.

          • Negropolis

            Yeah, I kind of got that you were joking. lol

    • Callyson

      Just had the chance to listen. There is NOTHING else Frothy Mix could have been calling Obama–not even "blah" will work this time.

      I really hope the city of Pittsburgh passes a resolution condemning this crap or something. The fact that Ricky keeps talking about how he comes from the Steel City makes me want to throw his sorry ass over one of my hometown's 446 bridges…

      • James Michael Curley

        He didn't come from "Pittsburgh" he resided in Butler for a long time and was living in Monroeville when elected to the house. While in Congress and living in DC with his family year round, he applied for and got a grant from the State to home school his kids, basing such on a house his sister owned in Penn Hills. This crap went down and I think he ended up settling for about $55,000 out of the $76,000 he got from PA and the Feds.

        • snoopyfan2010

          Call me weird but I don't think we should other people's money to make his life better. I think he should be given the opportunity to pay for home schooling himself and fells proud that he did.

          Also I don't understand what the money is for. Isn't home schooling a cheaper alternative to public schools?

          • James Michael Curley

            In this particular instance, “Home Schooling” was accessing an on-line institute. Sort of ‘how to home school your child for $9.95 an hour connect time’. Years ago in 2006 when I tried to find out more, one had to provide one’s credit card just to get past the welcome screen.

          • snoopyfan2010

            Oh I see. He still should have paid for it himself. I hear Senators are well paid. Apologies for the typos. Auto complete is no good.

          • James Michael Curley

            When we looked into do a similar thing with our son, there were many 'institutes' ready to help one 'home school' there child and most had some kind of way to get state or fed money to do it. I don't recall much of it and we decided against it because we did not need another reason to keep the kid in and not socializing with others. Of a few parents whom we know did, I don't recall any that did not use something like that.

          • snoopyfan2010

            Well it is good to know that my taxes are paying for them to keep their children out of the public schools. I just wish they would give people without children a tax credit since they aren't benefitting from the schools either way.

    • Damn it. I lost my own pool. My bet was on October 12th and it would be Newt Gingrich. grrr

      • Callyson

        October? I'm surprised the wingnuts were able to keep quiet this long…

  • Texan_Bulldog

    OMG, the Thurber readings were when it was time to change the channel.

    Poor Keith has been fired from ESPN (I assume), MSNBC & CurrentTV (and didn't he lose his Sunday Night Football gig on NBC?). At some point you realize that either everyone else in the world is an asshole or you are the asshole. Guess he hasn't figured it out yet. Not much left for him unless he decides to pop out 20 kids with his girlfriend du jour.

    • RadioStalingrad

      Now he has more time to spend with his family.

    • Biff

      Also, Fox Sports. He was bragging about taking Murdoch for $7million there.

  • straighteight

    He's the Billy Martin of journalism.

    • not that Dewey

      He should join the Cubs. They could use a guy like Keith.

      • user-of-owls

        What, are they looking for someone who specializes in walking face first into steel girders?

        • Or ivy-covered brick walls.

        • not that Dewey

          They could do worse. This is THE CUBS we're talking about.

          EDIT: I say this with love, as a lifelong Cubs fan.

    • Ruhe

      Yikes! Keith, stay out of the pick-up truck, man!!!

  • CrunchyKnee

    Old timey mustachioed K.O. on ESPN countdown is still the best K.O.

  • JudasPeckerwood

    Is it too much to hope that he ends up on The Apprentice?

    • Texan_Bulldog

      On a team with Ted Nugent & Kirk Cameron? By God, I would actually watch that piece of shit show then.

      • That does sound awesome.

      • It would beat Dancing With the Stars.

      • 12X34X

        OMG yes. But can Busey return and be a part of the mix, too? What a line up.

    • meatpuppet2

      Where all careers go to die.

  • savethispatient

    In Olbermann's response, he says:

    To understand Mr. Hyatt’s “values of respect, openness, collegiality and loyalty,” I encourage you to read of a previous occasion Mr. Hyatt found himself in court for having unjustly fired an employee. That employee’s name was Clarence B. Cain:

    I think Keith's trying to tell us he has AIDS.

    • Angry_Marmot

      Either that, or he's channeling Paul Harvey.

      • GhostBuggy

        Good day!

  • rocktonsam


    FOX NEWZ line one


    • The only thing I can think of that would ever get me to watch FOX News is if the show "Hannity and Olbermann" was created.

      • 12X34X

        Did you catch Toure and Piers Morgan last night? Very promising.

        • No, but in my Google Reader I saw a headline about them squashing a twitter beef that I wasn't aware they were having in the first place. I just remember watching a few eps of "Hannity and Colmes" and thinking, "This is the 'liberal' they found?" Olbermann would never just roll over and let Hannity be Hannity.

    • Never say never, he worked for Fox twice before. He got fired the first time — personally by Murdoch, so they say — and went back to Fox Sports in the late 1990s for a brief time, according to him, because he got tired of talking about Monica Lewinsky. There are few non-network places he hasn't worked. Those people have short memories.

  • gullywompr

    Oh well Keith, there's always Facebook.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Lou Sarah and Lou Keith can duke it out in Farmville.

  • ShiftyParadigm

    I think they're hiring at Daily Kos.

    • nounverb911

      Daily Caller?

  • Pragmatist2

    He was justifiably one of the low rated shows on the no-viewer channel – Current.
    He gave liberals a bad name and that gave comfort tothe rightwing nuts.
    He has the moral outrage of Glen Beck, the integrity of Rush Limbaugh and the wisdom of Sean Hannitty.
    Other than that, I kind of like the guy.

    • He doesn't deserve being compared to those three assholes, but I got tired of his tiny rotation of "I agree with you, Keith" guests, his lame attempts at humor, his silly Special Comments and most of all, that godawful Thurber segment.

      Snarkers are supposed to shit all over Spitzer and "The Ed Show", but I get a lot more from both of them than I got from Keith in the last couple of years on MSNBC, without the constant eye-roll-strain.

      • I know Spitzer has the personality of a bowl of yesterday's corn flakes, but he's smart and I always get something out of his comments. As for Ed, I watch him because I, too, specialize in righteous indignation. He's an ass sometimes, but somebody needs to speak for laborers.

    • I watched his show a lot during the 2008 elections coverage. After that, I stopped watching cable news altogether. I'm not really sure what the correlation is.

      • Geminisunmars

        Oh, so you are viewer-zero.

  • AlterNewt

    Your move, Stephanie Miller.

    • Beowoof

      There is nothing to like about talk radio, except for Stephanie Miller. Over the top sometimes, but often very funny.

      • She's on Current TV every morning now, right after Bill Press.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Olbermann had some good spots, but his pompous indignation routine really conflicted with calm, fact-based journalism, which would've been good enough without the emotional embellishments, though I didn't watch him that often.

    And Thurber? I don't know if Thurber could handle the blustery blowhard treatment — maybe Walt Whitman or Upton Sinclair — but Thurber writes like a pansy.

    • straighteight

      I stopped watching him the time he gave an impassioned speech on the teevee about quitting smoking because he found a benign growth on his lip that he blamed on smoking a pipe. So melodramatic I thought it was some kind of weird bit.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Thurber libel!

      Have you ever read "If Grant Had Been Drinking at Appomattox?"

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Thurber's great; maybe just too subtle to qualify for wookie-approved bombast?

        Sort of like Mark Twain, he's two different writers when you read him at 13 then read him again at 30.

        • SayItWithWookies

          To me he's seemed deadpan but without the humor rather than subtle — maybe I just don't get his subtlety, but then again maybe he's just not funny.

    • Negropolis

      I keep seeing people bring up Thurber, and though it was not my cup of tea, he explained the reason he did it was because he read it to his father while he was in the hospital before he died, and I guess he was kind of playing out his demons by doing it on television. Self-indulgent? Sure. But on this one thing, he actually wasn't trying to be an ass, if even that's how it came off.

      • Geminisunmars

        You'd have to be blind to enjoy Thurber.

        (Actually I grew up on Thurber and adore his writing. What can I say. Pocketa-pocketa.)

        • (Hugs the Gem) Me too, kiddo. Maybe it's just us Oldz.

          • Geminisunmars

            Jeez – is there nothing we can't bond over?

          • I dunno — keep looking.

      • Barb

        Keith inspired me to donate money to health clinics in his father's name and I loved him for it. I sent him an actual Hallmark card of condolence when his mother passed away.

        Keith tweeted that he needed a line for his show, something about Glen Beck and it had to be a religious reference. I tweeted "the Dali Drama" and Keith used it on the show and thanked me. I dropped my bowl of ice cream when I heard it.

        I don't dislike Thurber, I don't want to be read to by anyone. It made me feel childish to have someone read to me and I would change the channel.

  • AnAmericanInTO

    Oh, KO is a get-off-my-lawn Grandpa. Give me the Park Slope hipster, Chris Hayes, any day of the week. Except it's really only two mornings a week, but I'll still take it.

    • For some reason Hayes really annoys me. I don't know why, I mean I share all of his views, yada yada, but I find him irritating.

    • MissTaken

      Don't tell Soros but I'm going to marry Chris Hayes.

  • Lucidamente1

    He's a talented asshole, but he's our talented asshole.

    • meatpuppet2

      Without the "talented" part.

      • Tilley

        Truly. He's insufferable.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Oh come on. If you could get fired for being terrible Newt would be digging ditches.

    • emmelemm

      And then he'd get fired for digging ditches terribly.

      • Generation[redacted]

        But at least he'd learn the moral value of work.

    • mrpuma2u

      I picture Newt as more of a third shift greasy spoon short order cook, the kind that make you wonder if you want to eat at the place again.

    • Fare la Volpe

      He is digging a ditch – his campaign's grave.

    • SayItWithWookies

      I am done with ditch digging. What the ditch consistently fails to understand is that, given the power of humans over the earth, our inherent strategic ability to alter the course of rivers, our functioning as a force for change on the globe we've been given, is that its being dug is a foregone conclusion, and that its only decision to make is whether it should resist the inevitable or, for our mutual benefit, assist with the process of being dug. The ditch continually selects the ill-informed and dogmatic course, defying progress at every turn.

      I find working in such an adversarial atmosphere is an unnecessary impediment to my functioning as the founder of a new civilization built on the ashes of the big-government liberal failure that shambled to a close during the Carter administration and which Barack Obama has so far attempted to revive to the great detriment and peril of all things holy. I therefore resign my position as ditch digger to pursue matters far more critical to society and far more in need of my talents.

      You will be able to reach me at the record store during normal business hours in the used 8-track exchange.

      • bagofmice

        Well, I suppose you could say, "If you're going to Jack it, Jack it Black.".

        Ok, that was a bit esoteric, but at least it was punny.

      • Monsieur_Grumpe

        Last weekend I dug up a maple tree that was about 30 feet tall. It was just too close to the house. I could have just cut it down but it had survived an oak falling on it and while it was leaning a lot and was scarred it looked healthy. A 30 foot tree and roots weigh a lot but I dragged it to a good location and dug a suitable hole and planted it. I hope it survives. 8 track tapes sounded great but the players sucked and they switched tracks in the middle of a song. 8 track tapes. Maple trees. There must be some commonality but it alludes me.

        • Geminisunmars

          What a tree hugger.

    • C_R_Eature

      Nah, Newt works the night shift, Making the Donuts at a major chain Doughnut shop in a tourist town.

      Way in the back, alone with himself, far away from having to interact with people. He's still a massive Intellectual who is far superior to everyone else around him. Of course, he only does this for money. He despises all the customers and, in fact, anyone who has ever thought about buying Donuts because he's suddenly become a Vegetarian. He wears a black leather jacket and rides a 650 cc BMW motorcycle to work, but he only does this for effect. When no one is looking he beats off in the dough.

      He tries to pick up tourist chicks, but they all think he is Weird. He's working on another book, but no one wants to read it. He's separated from Callista, but she still does his laundry.

    • 12X34X

      And Ron Paul would be clipping coupons in his dining room.

  • If Al thinks that I will watch Eliot Spitzer he has sucked in too many greenhouse gases.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Hiring Spitzer just shows Al has no illusions about the size of his viewership.

      • John_Miles

        Seriously, Elliot Spitzer, Jennifer Granholm, and Bill Press are the new face of this channel that's supposed to be hip and appeal to young people? Current is shaping up to be just as badly managed as Air America. They already gave Vanguard the axe, which was one of the best things on TV period.

        As difficult as Keith may have been to deal with personally, if the Current execs weren't letting their egos get in the way of common sense they'd realize how dumb a move this is. MSNBC's ratings still haven't recovered in Keith's old slot, and Current really has no draw at all without him.

        • Vangaurd, Supernews and Infomania were great the rest meh.

    • iburl

      Yeah, I won't swallow spitzer. P.S. fuk all y'all keith haterz.

  • Barb

    I'll be the first to admit it, I like Keith when he is cute. When he goes full blown asshole, or like Texan_Bulldog said, whips out Thurber, I have to turn it off.

    Everyone give a shout out to Rachel Maddow on Sunday! Happy Birthday!

    • MissTaken

      I agree, there was a time when I had a crush on Keith (must've been during the Bush administration before he went complete batshit – Keith, not Bush who was always batshit).

      And happy birthday Rachel! She is my fellow East Bay hero….EBMUD is the shit!

  • An Asexual Ungulate

    Aw, but I liked Keith! Granted, I haven't watched his show since it switched to Current, but still… I liked knowing he was out there, ranting and raving and throwing his papers at the camera.

    • rockymissouri

      It was WONDERFUL…!

  • OneYieldRegular

    I could never watch that show (for one thing, I don't have a TV), but hearing someone read Thurber out of a cardboard box sounds like my kind of entertainment.

  • Callyson

    Dammit, I wish KO had learned how to play well with others. I didn't always like him (I could have done without his Hillary comments for one thing), but I did like his Worst Persons in the World skit.

    • John_Miles

      Hillary was clearly running to the right of Obama, and any progressive with credibility had no choice but to criticize her for some of her B.S. in '08.

    • rockymissouri

      And I appreciate his viewpoint…

  • I never had a problem watching Olbermann on television and I quite liked some of his commentaries (when he would start reading Thurber, I'd flip over to the Cartoon Network), but he sounds like a lot of the guys I knew at the scummy PR firm where I used to work. They could totally charm the clients and then they would come back to the office and magically transform into major assholes.

  • RadioStalingrad

    Will his coda "Worst Person in the World" be Jim Newell?

    • WORSE: Palin
      WORSER: Hitler
      WORST: Jim Newell

      • bagofmice

        Are we still talking about alt-text?

    • not that Dewey

      No, that was Ken Layne.

      • RadioStalingrad

        Dewey, glad you pulled that up. The comments are very interesting. As much internecine fighting as I've ever seen here. Touchy subject I guess.

        • not that Dewey

          You say "internecine fighting"; I say "troll onslaught". And for all the bad publicity she gets these days, Custer_wolf sure knew how to handle a troll.

          They are interesting, indeed. But every time I go back to one of those pre-intensedebate posts, I have to re-remember to count net page ups/page downs, like the MIT blackjack club, so I know how to get back to the comment that I was reading.

          UPDATE: I hadn't yet gotten to the good part. I see what you mean, now. Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

          • user-of-owls

            Ah yes, the "good part."

            Or as I like to call it, "Wolves to the Slaughter."

          • not that Dewey

            The "good part"? Is that anything like the "fun end"?

          • user-of-owls

            It was that, wasn't it. After having that twat's stink hole in our face for so long, it was a fun end after all.

            Just where the hell is shorts?

            Not here.

            Or here.

            Nor even here, here or here.

            Here, though he's been moribund for two years now. *sigh*

  • user-of-owls

    I heard he called someone a retard, so I guess he won't be fired from here.

    • AWWWW :(

      • user-of-owls

        No cry albino ginger, iz be OK

      • user-of-owls

        Oh, shit. Honest to god I never even put the twos together, seriously. I am sorry Jim, really, that was unintended crassness. ;(

        What a maroon.

        • Texan_Bulldog

          I'm lost. I thought that was Stuef.

          • user-of-owls

            Um, yeah…really brought my F game tonight, eh?

          • RadioStalingrad

            Thank Zeus this site isn't rated "R".

  • Schmannnity

    Krazy Keith's Appliances coming to a city near you.

  • rickmaci

    I like Kieth, like his work. Have been watching him since his LA sports news days. He was the best on baseball I have ever watched. But damn, that boy sure does know how to wear out his welcome.

  • __kth__

    Count me as one who has been intermittently entertained by KO both as sportscaster and political commentator, but he's a strange one alright.

  • …will be former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer, last seen achieving the remarkable feat of being CNN’s most boring primetime host and, before that, constantly having sex with prostitutes.

    Seems the obvious answer is to have Spitzer have sex with prostitutes (constantly) while on primetime.

    Do I have to do all the thinking around here?

    • emmelemm

      Guaranteed moneymaker!

    • C_R_Eature

      Genius. Ratings would soar and people would think they were watching some kind of weird British Tabloid.

    • bagofmice

      Such deep and penetrating insights.

  • nounverb911

    Now he has more time to go to Yankee games.

  • Tundra Grifter


    That link to AlGore's memo is deader than Keith's career.

    • firing myself asap

      • Tundra Grifter


        I thought it was a technical issue – like when the lights would go out during the middle of one of Keith's rants.

      • Jim, I was KIDDING when I called you "Worst Person In The World"!

  • FakaktaSouth

    Keith has great hair and a great voice and he did go off about Bush back when he was one of the only ones on the teevee doing it – there were days when it made me feel better to know that he was out there, somewhere, righteously and indignantly yelling big words at our terrible Bush overlords. I'm bummed he's such a bratty prick. I'd still do him though, I just wouldn't let him have opinions about how or care what he thought about it after. I'd be the Dom in our s&m xxx leather vids. Safeword – giant-thighs. (even in suits he has giant thighs)
    I know y'all are wishing we still had down fists right about now ain't cha? Y'all are mean.

    • Oh pish and tosh! No down fists needed here. I think I speak for the group when I say any of us would do Keith, surely!

      • Tilley

        Uh, no.

    • What's your safeword if it's actually his giant thighs that are going too far?

    • Wile E. Quixote

      I'd watch that on CNN. Especially if they fired Piers Morgan and used your new show Keith Olberman is My Leather Slut! as a replacement. It would be a perfect lead-in for Anderson Cooper (and perhaps you could have him guest host with discipline tips for Keith).

    • Tilley

      I know y'all are wishing we still had down fists right about now ain't cha?

      Not me, baby girl. I'd say you nailed it. Except for the doing him part. eww.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Eh, he's not the worst person in the world.

  • I still think the funniest teevee news duo name is 'Parker Spitzer'.

    • Fare la Volpe

      If I ever own a teevee station, my primetime block will be nothing but Elliot doing bird watching. It'll be called "Spitzer Swallows."

  • Poindexter718

    Miss Precious Perfect is not amewsed:

  • littlebigdaddy

    "whose ego isn’t the size of Jupiter but certainly is that of Uranus." FTFY.

  • clblabin

    But but but, Keith Olbermann was the only thing that kept me sane during the Bush administration! Ah well. Penicillin was the only thing that got me through strep throat when I was a kid, but I don't keep taking it now.

    And we don't get CurrentTV where I live (America), so I haven't seen him in a while. He really belongs to another, more surreal era.

  • CommieLibunatic

    I hate to throw around WoW terminology (not really /trollface), but this guy has always been like a Lawful Stupid paladin who has the Righteous Fury button permanently taped down.

  • Barrelhse

    I wonder how he'd do as a Sports announcer?

  • Biff

    I for one will miss Shouty Keith, but who among us didn't see this coming? Now I wish they'd move Jenny Granholm to that timeslot, or I might have no recourse but to watch either local or network news at 5:00PM PDT.

  • C_R_Eature

    Here's Keith Olbermann's entire work history, distilled into a 2 minute Clip.

  • Goonemeritus

    While I certainly don't wish Mr.. Olberman any harm I have never been a fan. Growing up in the time of Walter Cronkite and graduating to Macneil/Lehrer I never considered what he did as journalism. Perhaps we should be better than those we rightfully despise.

    ps. BALLS

    • Beowoof

      Walter Cronkite, Huntley-Brinkley, those guys got me to believe that real news and real integrity in gathering the news mattered. I actually looked forward to CNN on the air, I used to enjoy Headline News. What it has all become is sad infotainment that rarely does anything more than present one opinion more obtuse than the other.

    • Harry_S_Truman

      BALLS? Did someone mention BALLS?

    • John_Miles

      Having a strong point of view doesn't disqualify what someone does from being good journalism (see Upton Sinclair).

    • Tilley

      Walter Cronkite, for all his posthumously alleged faults, defined "avuncular" when it mattered. He got me through Kennedy's assassination, Dan Rather's premiere sojourn in Afghanistan, the 1968 Democratic convention, Watergate and the seminal wretchedness of the Nixon years, and other things I can't remember now because I'm old and I just can't bear to watch broadcast/cable news bleating heads anymore.

  • Anyone remember when Palin pardoned the turkey while the farmer was ramming another bird into some sort of Kill Machine in the background? Kieth went OCD on that bit for at least a week, if not forever. I told that to a conservative friend of mine (the sort of guy who thinks Palin is "hot" and would vote for her based on that qualification) while he was driving us home from a business trip. He started laughing so hard I thought he was going to vehicular homicide us.

    • rockymissouri

      Why would he laugh…? That was ghastly to see..(and I grew up in a hunting family) Something is missing in a person who sees humor in such gruesome images….

  • mavenmaven

    Proof that Al Gore is not a jobs creator.

    • But at least he's reduced his company's output of hot atmospheric gasses.

    • Exhausted66

      Unless you're Eliot Spitzer.

      • savethispatient

        And he famously supports small business owners / the self-employed.

    • Tilley

      Plus he's fat. And he "couldn't win his own state" in 2000, as if my pathetic state of Tennessee's putrid input would have made any difference.

      • horsedreamer_1

        I love that they say he didn't win his own Stste, but on the other, Al wasn't even a RIL TENNSSEEIN since he grew up in Alexandria, VA.

        Which is it, RIGHT WING TALKING POINTS?

  • iburl

    …and I've already forgotten what channel CurentTV is on.

    • Negropolis

      That's honestly why I never watch it. I can never remember the channel, because it's so high up on my programming.

  • Beowoof

    I had started to drift away from Keith. Yet I will still miss him and his show. Unlike many liberals he isn't afraid to stand up to many of the ridiculous things that come from the right. Good luck Keith and keep up the fight.

  • Harry_S_Truman

    Oh, Jupiter's cock!

    I can only imagine what the carnage is like on the Unofficial Keith Olbermann Masturbation Association Site (DailyKos for the uninitiated). They think he's unimpeachable there.

    • Dr. Nick Riviera

      I thought he stopped posting there and told them they were all horrible after they offended him…for some reason that escapes me now…

    • Tilley

      Yeah, he's a dick, but at least he's OUR dick.

  • C_R_Eature

    You know, they're going to start filming Anchorman II pretty soon.


    • Are you saying that KO wasn't actually fired, but slain-by-trident?

      • C_R_Eature

        Yeahhh..about that, DR: You might want to lay low for awhile. Not come to work 'till, you know, the heat's off.

        • BarackMyWorld

          You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair.

          • I'll give this little cookie an hour before we're doing the no-pants dance. Time to musk up.

  • Negropolis

    Keith is such a fucking drama queen, which is maddening, because he has an amazing ability with words. His personality just so often overshadows the excellent points he's made. If anyone is surprised by this, they are crazy. Keith doesn't play well with others and never has, which is why he's gotten fired from just about every job he's ever had.

    • Dr. Nick Riviera

      Nobody would argue that he is a smart guy, but he's a prime example of how intelligence doesn't make a good person. He's smart, he knows it, and he wants everyone else to know it too.

    • John_Miles

      Everyone keeps going on about Keith's ego. What about the egos of the executives who fire the highest-rated person on their network just because he rubbed them the wrong way? Keith has reason to have an ego: he's smart as hell, and he pretty much single-handedly put MSNBC on the map. What have Current's execs done, other than create a failing network?

      • Negropolis

        This would be an argument if Keith hadn't gotten fired from damn-near every TV gig he's ever had. Sorry, but you're going to have a hard time trying to convince anyone that simply being smart gives one license to be a total dick.

        BTW, just read through your comments, and I regret even replying to you. you are one of those self-righteous, holier-than-though/I'm-a-better-liberal-than-you prigs with no sense of humor. You do Keith no favors now obviously channeling his very worse qualities.

        Don't like the snark; GTFO. Bye.

        • John_Miles

          He was at MSNBC for what, 8 or 9 years? And he was at ESPN for almost as long. That's a decent amount of time to be playing nice with the management. So he's an anti-authoritarian. Butting heads with idiot television execs is actually a plus in my book.

          I don't mean to be holier-than-thou; all I'm saying is maybe people shouldn't take unfair shots at someone who's done an awful lot to inspire a lot of progressives, as I think Jim and some of the people in the comments section here have.

          • I hear you. And I agree with you.

  • Biff

    If I was Conan O'brien, I'd be worried for my job right now.

  • Harry_S_Truman

    Gee, will the Supreme Court someday be asked to decide Olbermann v. Gore, too?

  • I can't get my head around a "liberal" network that has a show called "The Young Turks."

    The Young Turks were the groooovy dooods who organized the ethnic cleansing of the Armenians.

    That was the genocide that Hitler used to justify the camps when he said "Who remembers the Armenians?"

    The name "The Young Turks" sucks rancid donkey dick.

    • BarackMyWorld

      They might have Rebecca on again sometime, though.

      • I'll watch if Rebecca sucks a donkey dick.

        • Negropolis


  • OT but a friend of mine who is a museum curator is on PBS NewsHour today, doing a segment with Jeffrey Brown about Henry Tanner (I think – she wrote/edited a book about Tanner and curated an exhibit of his work in Philly recently.) Anyway, she posted a picture on her FB page she took of Mark Shields and David Brooks and said she was very excited to have met her heroes. Apparently she likes them because of their "civility in an uncivil age." And this is a smart girl! Maybe the civility worship is because she's Canadian? Sigh. Oh well, at least she hasn't turned into a wingnut.

  • Sassomatic

    But now I will no longer be able to smug-ly reply "I don't watch Keith Olberman."

  • smashedinhat

    Not speaking up for the source but the best response I've read yet, in the form of a tweet, @Dylan Byers @TheFix some of us have drinks we need to get home to

  • DocChaos

    Back around 2008 my sister in law told me she loved Olbermann's show, and I told her I thought he was a self-important sanctimonious blowhard, a liberal Mark Levin without the grating nasal whine. She paused for a moment and then said "you're right".

  • Blueb4sunrise
    • C_R_Eature

      Thank you for this, it was very appropriate. Forgot to say this last night.

  • Negropolis

    You can catch Olbermann reading Thurber out of a cardboard box in Central Park, weeknights at 3 a.m.

    Also known as Occupy Wall Street.

    I'm so going to hell for that. lol Seriously, though, this is going to be a long, hot spring and summer. I love the smell of hippy protesting in the morning. No, really; I do.

  • zappadoo76

    He sleeps with the Rushes.

  • Mahousu

    I don't get it. So far as I know, Olbermann has never worn a hoodie.

    Edit: All right, I see he has. But I'm pretty sure he hasn't been black.

  • OT: Federal Court Strikes Down Key Provisions of Walker's Act 10 as Unconstitutional

    "So long as the State of Wisconsin continues to afford ordinary certification and dues deductions to mandatory public safety unions with sweeping bargaining rights, there is no rational basis to deny those rights to voluntary general unions with severely restricted bargaining rights," wrote U.S. District Judge William M. Conley.

    • C_R_Eature

      this is Huge, BTW.

    • RadioStalingrad

      I'll bet Walker is cross-eyed mad, I mean more cross-eyed mad.

      • emmelemm

        On-off topic: I had donated some money to the Wisconsin recall dealie-bob some time ago (online). The other day I got some snail mail about the recall petitions, and on the outside of the envelope was a picture of Walker. He really REALLY is wonk-eyed, isn't he?

    • SudsMcKenzie

      … and his bald spot grew three sizes that day.

    • Biff

      Excellent. Things are heating up nicely.

    • If Scotty isn't careful the Koch's will hire a new assistant manager.

  • The_Trainman

    I'd rather be turned by an evil magic spell into Olbermann than Geraldo Rivera for, say, once mistakenly writing for Gawker, but that ain't saying much.

  • flamingpdog

    You know what else was founded on the values of respect, openness, collegiality, and loyalty to its viewers?

    • CthuNHu

      Show and Tell?

    • C_R_Eature

      The Circus Maximus?

    • 2 Girls, One Cup?

    • ThundercatHo

      Wonkette, of course.

    • RadioStalingrad

      the Moulin Rouge?

    • The_Trainman

      Left cover, aka anti-authoritarianism, to sell more Depends and Lemon-scented Pledge?

    • An_Outhouse

      Romper Room

    • Limeylizzie

      The Woodentops?

    • Peewee's Playhouse?

    • AlterNewt

      Firing line?

    • Tilley

      The Onion?

  • DahBoner

    Al Gore: Joe Lieberman: Anti-Medical Marijuana: Quitter.

    Not Liberal…

    • An_Outhouse

      and most importantly, 'Not as bad as Bush', admittedly not a a high bar.

  • Tell Keith he's always got a job at Welcome to Pottersville2, and he will never be fired for ranting, raising his voice or calling anyone out.

    Love KO!

    Suzan at Pottersville2

  • MissNancyPriss

    Elliot Spitzer may be a perv but he's not boring.

    • BarackMyWorld

      I wish that could be said for Jennifer Granholm. (The former and the latter.)

      • Geminisunmars

        I would give you the Win, if it were up to me.

    • Negropolis

      Surely , you never saw Parker Spitzer, then.

      • George Spelvin

        Don't call me Shirley. And no, I never saw Spitz 'n Swallows, because I have no teevee.

    • Tilley

      Neither is my dog, but does HE get a spot on the TV? Why no, no he doesn't.

  • John_Miles

    I took the effort to register at this site specifically for the purpose of posting my considered response to this:

    Fuck you Jim, Olbermann rules.

    But seriously, fuck all the smug, cynical jerkoffs here who are shitting all over Olbermann because he was "indignant" or "an asshole." Politics is actually a serious thing that has literal life or death consequences for a lot of people, and some people see that as something worth being passionate about. Sorry if Keith's style offended your delicate sensibilities. Although I tend to think people suffering without health insurance or toiling away in Afghanistan or facing the threat of winding up on the wrong side of a drone attack probably have bigger concerns.

    Anyone who's seen the Special Comments Olbermann's delivered, like his impassioned response to the "World Trade Center mosque controversy" or his touching comments about gay marriage, knows the kind of talent he has, and why his absence will be missed.

    Oh, and "Al Bore." How droll, Jim.

    Okay, I think I'll go back to never reading Wonkette again now. You may all now return to your previously-scheduled smug snarkiness.

    • An_Outhouse

      If I got paid millions a year, I would show up for work.

      • John_Miles

        We don't know what else was going on behind the scenes that might've caused Keith to use how often he showed up as leverage against whatever he was having to deal with from Current's execs.

        My impression is that he took care not to actually violate the terms of his contract since he seems so optimistic about the success of his lawsuit. He also apparently was dealing with throat problems at one point, and I can't imagine his contract doesn't allow for sick days.

    • Keith?

    • Thank you Mr. Miles for taking time to point out the laudable, applaudable, memorably non-shitty qualities and wise commentary that the object of your admiration was capable of bringing to the public square.
      Nothing is so disappointing as seeing a public figure of great promise fall prey to inner hubris, outward excess of sanctimony, and inflated self-importance. [see: any number of our elected officials, past & present].
      To combat the dismay that comes with disappointment, something called snark comes in handy for airing that component manifesting itself in daily encounters known as the absurd.
      You may find numerous outlets on the internet practicing various forms of exchange that rely on snark to express together, and relieve somewhat the tedium individually, the frustration that accompanies one's apprehension of the absurd, the preventably ill-outcome'd, the paradoxical and the frequent perversions of justice populating our landscape.
      It seems to me that most modern-day phenomena like Keith Olbermann do not occur in a vacuum. Hence, when someone occupying the public sector as he does, abuses privilege of reasonable participation in a team-led venture that requires cooperative interaction, then that person, no matter what lofty contributions under his belt, needn't expect to transcend others' patience or media scrutiny without being passed off as a diva (note; one cannot be dismissed as a "diva" unless one has already achieved some success and proved one's talents to an extent.).

      Such patrons of pomposity deserve the opinions of the wonkette snarkemporium and indeed should be honored at garnering what, you must have overlooked, are both complimentary tributes, expressions of regret / disappointment on KO's behalf, and criticism that befits an audience who (here, in your midst) rarely see these displays of drama from a one-dimensional perspective.

      That is a lot to reply to someone who for all I know is a troll and was gunning for overreation to their overreaction but no matter; that was rewarding to put in words especially since I've barely watched more than an hour's worth of cummulative KO viewing in my life~! Cheers, Mumbletypeg

      • John_Miles

        I'm not saying Keith wasn't sanctimonious and arrogant in his dealings with some people; he very well might have been. But as I said in another comment, I think he has good reason to have an ego. He was the most prominent liberal commentator in this country at one point and literally put MSNBC on the map, and he remained the only reason to watch Current for most people. All Current's execs have ever managed to do is create a failing network with miserable production values; hiring Keith is pretty much the only good decision they've made.

        So there are egos on both sides of this. Why is no one talking about the egos of Joel Hyatt or David Bohrman for firing their network's star attraction because he apparently didn't kiss their entitled, incompetent asses enough?

        I'm all for snark and sarcasm when used to accomplish a greater good; I love Maddow. But it bugs me to see these things used to tear down someone who's a true believer in compassionate and just causes like Keith. Armchair liberals who mock people who are passionate about politics and don't seem cognizant of the urgency and suffering a lot of people feel really annoy me. Sorry, but anyone who ever accomplished anything worthwhile was passionate about it, and that means a few people probably thought they were assholes.

        Just so I'm being clear, I don't think being a "diva" is a good quality. It's the people who criticise his indignance (as if that's a bad quality) who I have a problem with, or, worse, people who compare him with Limbaugh or Beck or Hannity. Comparing Olbermann to those people is like comparing an ardent civil rights activist to an ardent segregationist.

        But no, I wasn't trying to troll, and it likewise felt good for me to get some of these thoughts out there. Thanks for taking the time to respond

        • Thank *you*! Points well taken. Glad to receive some clarifying feedback, and grateful that you are not what some would call a troll, or else I'd be doing here what others call "feeding a troll," and by that I don't really mean "feeding you to the dogs," such as Newell, who if I were in his position might've felt somewhat under attack by your words in your initial post. There's room for opinion divergence here, I've felt for the most part, but a fine line when some reactions take a life of their own, out of proportion to the opinion being reacted to!

          • John_Miles

            I *did* mean to attack Jim, lol. He was being incredibly nasty toward Olbermann. This is an ostensibly left-leaning site from what I gather, and I don't understand why someone who even loosely identifies as such would reserve such bile for someone who's said things like this:… I suppose I understand that Jim was just doing what writers at this site apparently do in being snarky and dismissive toward everything and everyone, and I did chuckle at a couple things he said, but for me the icing on the cake was admitting he didn't even watch Olbermann after writing all that.

            Maybe I overreacted a bit; something just struck a nerve and set me off on a rant that may be more or less relevant to some of the things said by Jim and others. I definitely attacked Wonkette in general, though I can't say I'm intimately familiar with this site and I'm sure there are good people here.

          • Dashboard Buddha

            That's nothing special…that's just Jim.

    • You guys at wonkette think everything is sooo funny- Megs McCabe

    • flamingpdog

      Things must be slow at Democratic Underground this morning.

      • redarmyzombie

        It is shaping out to be a long day, I will grant.

      • John_Miles

        As a frequent follower of the left-wing blogosphere (though I'm more of a Daily Kos guy) I can say that a fair amount of people over there as well are piling on over Olbermann's alleged personal shortcomings in a way I don't think is constructive.

        • commiegirl

          People can be great liberals/progressives and still be assholes/impossible to work with. CRAZY, but TRUE!

          • Wouldja stop talking about me already, BeccaLou? And I'm not THAT bad, really.

            OK, I could shower occasionally.

          • HistoriCat

            We cats prefer licking ourselves clean.

          • I try.

            Mostly everyone's patience, but that can't be helped.

    • I for one was all set to welcome our new self-righteous, sanctimonious overlord, and then he announced he's never reading us again! Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio, a website turns its lonely eyes to you. Woo woo woo. Ah well, back to fapping.

      Buy a sense of humor. You'll live longer.

      Christ, who knew KO's defenders were almost as bad as Paultards?

      • John_Miles

        Well you're in luck, because I don't actually have the self-discipline to pull myself away from this comment thread quite yet.

        Frankly, this article and some of the comments I was reading touched a nerve, and people who treat politics and everything that surrounds it as a game and something only worthy of gossip and snark really annoy me. And I take it that's part of the raison d'être of this site.

        And as a member of the reality-based community and not the church of ending the fed and reestablishing the gold standard, I resent the comparison to Paulites.

        • user-of-owls

          Oh do please stick around. We'll even bake you one of those cakes we like.

          Ha ha. Just kidding. We I will crush you to death in our mighty talons and bite your head off. That's what we I do with obese, gimpy mice in a moonlight prairie like you.


          • John_Miles

            Okay, but only if you throw in some cedar cheese

          • HistoriCat

            Good, I can feel your anger. I am defenseless. Take your snark. Strike me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!

        • Resent it all you want. I was comparing your levels of sanctimoniousness, not your political positions, and I stand by the comparison.

          people who treat politics and everything that surrounds it as a game and something only worthy of gossip and snark really annoy me.

          You shouldn't hang around here then. Plenty of other sites on the net where you can be boringly earnest.

          • Dashboard Buddha


          • BigSkullF*ckingDog

            Yeah. All these words and this guy has yet to make even one poop joke. Booooring!

          • John_Miles

            Eh, better to err on the side of caring and come off as sanctimonious than to just not give a shit, I think. I take issue more with the fact that the Paulites have an ideology that's untethered from reality than I do that they're passionate about their cause.

            I like snark sometimes, I just think this article was off the mark.

          • I like ya, kid, but as an Official Oldz, I gotta say: if ya don't snark at this stuff, it breaks your heart. Different people deal with shit in different ways. In this joint, it's snark, buttsechs, and fapping.

        • Dashboard Buddha

          "I resent the comparison to Paulites."

          Yer ok in my book, mister.

        • Dashboard Buddha

          "people who treat politics and everything that surrounds it as a game"

          I don't know if it's so much as a game as it is the type of humor one uses to ward off a crushing sense of despair. For instance, today while listening to This American Life, I learned that for every dollar corporations spend on lobbying, they get $220 back in favors, tax breaks, and general reach arounds. Now, I'm going to research this incredible number, but even it's off by a factor of 4, we are well and truly fucked.

          Politics isn't so much a game as much as it's a sick form of porn…and all you can do stop your mouth from screaming is to fill it with snark.

    • You are correct, Sir! At Olbermann's next gig, his absence will be missed.

  • LadyWisdom

    First, let's show a little respect here. Keith Olbermann was the first progressive on TV, pushing the envelope on MSNBC. All liberal programming you see on TV now comes from his show.

    Second, I truly don't think I could have survived the Bush years without Keith Olbermann. For years, he was the only assurance I had that I wasn't crazy.

    And finally, Current and Keith both knew what they were getting. Keith was getting a low-budget network. Current was getting an anti-authoritarian. They should both have anticipated the problems and worked them out. Hope they still can.

    • BarackMyWorld

      True dat.

      People forget MSNBC didn't decide it wanted to be the "liberal" news channel until about four years ago when they hired Maddow full time (Scarborough being the only conservative leftover from back then). This is the network that fired Phil Donahue even though he was the top guy on the channel for his early Iraq War pieces, was the tv home of Don Imus for many years, gave shows to Michael Savage and Tucker Carlson, and repeatedly tried to hire Limbaugh.

      • John_Miles

        Don't forget Alan Keyes! MSNBC really was trying to out-Fox Fox for a long time.

  • Worst thing he ever did was criticize Wonkettz then-editors for something or other, I don't remember as I wasn't really paying attention…

    • fuflans

      huh. i don't remember that.

  • LetUsBray

    Sorry, but the only Keith one doesn't know personally who rates being referred to simply by his first name plays guitar and is 68 years old but could pass for at least 10x that.

    • fuflans

      and falls out of trees while dressed like a pirate.

  • He was inexplicably absent from Countdown on Current not long ago, right after that dust-up about who would be the lead on their election coverage (although why would anyone want to be?). David Shuster filled in. Then Keith came back seeming, to me, thinner and healthier looking. My first thought was, "He's been to rehab," not that I'd ever heard he needed it. I thought maybe he'd tone it down a peg and all would be well. Guess not. I can't imagine being fired by Al Gore. It must have the same sound as being fired by Mister Rogers. Hope he saved some of his money. Yankee season tickets are pricey.

  • Isyaignert

    Oh fuk, not the Thurber!! I hate the Thurber!

  • BarackMyWorld

    I think Hannity still needs a liberal co-host.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Awesome idea. And when they get too shouty we have an executive producer come on set, hose them down and then zap them with a TASER until they quiet down.

  • Millennial response: Murrow?

    • George Spelvin

      My cat says that sometimes. "Murrroww?"

  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    OT: testing an atheist

    My wife was diagnosed with cancer just before the new year. It's been hellish; the insurance companies have tried their level best to bankrupt me, but hey.

    Now her brother has shot himself.

    I'm sorry wonkete. I might go for a while, or I might stay. This community has been good for me in the past. You owe me nothing.

    It would be far easier if any of the people involved believed in God, but we don't. It's just what it is. A waste. A good man dead.

    Sorry, wonkette friends, for being a downer. I don't really have anyone else to talk to. The world is a shit place.

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      As an adjunct to this, I'll tell a story about Italian border control, because it may make you laugh.

      Wifey is over in England for a week to see my folks, then we're heading to Tuscany. Wifey is an American, and has an American passport, the rest of the motley crew are either German or British.

      We turn up in Pisa and Wifey has left her passport on the plane somehow. It's shitty Easyjet, so the plane has turned around and fucked off back to England – no passport. It's gone.

      Theoretically, wife has to get on the next plane back to the US – no passport, you're fucked. The Pisa border guards said "find us when you find your passport" and then conspicuously disappeared. We just dodged through the entry point and made for the fucking rental cars – job done.

      That'd never happen in the US, and I love the Italians for letting us do it.

      It was easy enough to fix: trip to the US office in Florence and job done. However, the Italians looked the other way on a passportless entry to their country. How cool is that?

      • George Spelvin

        That is extremely European. Especially Southern European. I often wonder how come it is that the US is so uptight, given that so many of our forebears came from Europe.

        As for the rest of the shit sandwich life has served you and yours, I can only express sympathy and love. And a reminder to keep after the motherfucking insurance companies.. If they’re giving you a hard time, it may mean that they actually owe you something.

      • RadioStalingrad

        Fukui, look at the bright side. You have a veritable smorgasbord of options, and why pick just one? Muzlem, Wiccan, Eastern Orthodox, Jews for Jesus, Joel Osteen, Peter Popoff, Coptic, Opus Dei, and on and on.

        But srsly, my friend. We all feel for you. I know when I see your posts I will enjoy the unique perspective you offer. So come to vent, we'll be here for you.

        Humanism takes a beating from fearful religionists. It wasn't too long ago we could all be enhanced interrogated in the name of the Lord for heresy.But the things we can do as humanists, that no supernatural being could ever do, is listen, comfort and give you feedback.

        And here at the Wonketz, yes, this is a joke blog, but it is way more than that. It's a forum for some of the greatest minds I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. And further, occasionally, it is a place to bring one's sorrows and difficulties. Look at Dewey, or Owls, and their struggles. Those were some of the most heartening threads I have ever seen here. I know, too, that when I've had my rough patches I can come here and be amongst friends and kindred souls.

        So hang in there man, all of us little godz are here.

      • Pretty damn cool, and I'm glad you got to do it.

        Fuck. I wonder if they'd be that cool with me? No, I'm not gonna go find out. I'm all tuckered out from traveling and just want to be home in my own house, sleeping in my own bed, tormenting my own felines.

      • fuflans

        ah fukui, first you make us cry, then you make us smile.

        may you find some comfort in that place of beauty and may you come back to your scrappy dizzy undisciplined children of wonkette.

        we will miss you!

      • CapnFatback

        I wish that I had a pithy comment carefully crafted, one regarding the universality of tragedy while personalizing it to your individual pain. I wish that I had a hyperlink that, simply through the effort of clicking, would assuage all the torment and leave you simultaneously edified and entertained. I wish I had answers to your toughest questions.

        I have none of these things. But I do have an Internet connection, as do you (insurance-rape forbid). So I can offer my condolences and let you know that–like many other Wonketteers have before me–I'll be here.

        Peace, my friend.

    • Angry_Marmot

      Much love, Master of Kitchen Stadium.

    • Chichikovovich

      I know there's not much that words can do to help at a time like this, but please know that all of us are thinking of you and your wife and genuinely and profoundly wishing you the strength and reciprocal love to navigate this sea of grief and for your wife to return to full health.

    • ThundercatHo

      I am very sorry for your family's loss and hope that your wife will recover fully. Our family has lost people to both cancer and suicide. I have wished for years that religion would comfort me but I just don't believe in it. The story does not add up. Prove it to me and I will. The church asks too much when they insist one's brain stop working and just "take it on faith". Why should we? They have no real answers. Why not let the afterlife be a mystery or a fantasy for each individual? I assume that from what you have said here before that you have an interesting life and family and friends to cherish, that is real and good. Here, you have people who admire your wit and are so glad of what you have to add to these daily discussions whether serious or funny. Again, my sincere condolences on the loss of your brother in law.

      • Fukui-sanYesOta

        This, in particular, touches me, as I read through this today. It's warmth without any need for god.

        Thank you.

    • not that Dewey

      Come by whenever you need to talk.

    • Geminisunmars

      I'm so sorry you have to go through this hard period. I too sometimes wish I could just "believe" but I simply cannot. What has brought me some comfort the last few years is a cartoon by BEK.

      It is a simple black and white drawing of a corner of a room. There is a little piece of something-or-other on the floor. The balloon reads: "I wish I were a better speck of dust."

    • Biff

      Best of everything to you all…

    • Sharing your pain is not a disgrace, it's what we do here, sometimes with humor sometimes not. If you can continue to at least lurk.
      your wonkette friend TDD.

    • commiegirl

      We understand if you need more lolcats right now than the constant outrage and rise-in-blood-pressure around these parts. Please come back the second you're ready.

      • HistoriCat

        And this comment has cemented my loyalty to the new regime.

        • Barb

          Love ya, HistoriCat!

          • HistoriCat

            (Licks the cute little kitty's ear) love ya back!

        • I agree.

        • ^^ This ^^

    • user-of-owls

      Oh no. I am so deeply sorry for what you and your family is going through and want to echo the sentiments that have been (unsurprisingly) offered by your friends here. You have helped me and countless others in our times of need and we hope we can reciprocate your kindness. It is ceaselessly astounding how much healing happens in this odd little place. That's probably why we are so rabidly protective of it, each in our own way. As to the religion question, please forgive my arrogance for thinking that sharing the perspective I've come to in recent years. It is fairly simple and posits that there is indeed an afterlife of sorts, complete with heaven and hell. Where it diverges from traditional doctrines (with the exception of karma, I suppose) is that our life goes on as a spark in anyone we touch, for good or bad, and radiates outward in logarithmic circles. And we wind up in both heaven and hell, the proportions of each (the balance sheet as it were) a result of what we've done to others. Your brother-in-law touched his family and friends, and by extension, countless millions, in a way that I must assume was strongly tilted toward the positive side of the ledger. Again, my sincere apologies for the hubris I am showing here, but I suppose I'd rather risk being a boor than left something that might be comforting unsaid. Sending you a shoulder, an ear and a hug. Take care of yourself, my friend, and we will take care of you too.

    • brother has shot himself
      This is achingly familiar, as ex-Mumbletycompanion's grandfather did the same a few years ago, under circumstances that involved chronic pain that he'd tried for years to bring under control. No physician or specialist was able to come up with anything effective. The event took everyone by surprise, just months after we'd traveled over for a visit; it never occurred to my ex' he'd never see his grand-dad again. He left behind his wife and lots of kids & grandkids & a legacy of honor including having fought in the Battle of the Bulge.
      At the same time, everyone including his widow could see why he found it necessary to put an end to what no medicine or therapy could be found to do for treating pain. I do not know that your wife's brother's circumstance is less or more complicated but I know if it takes loved ones by surprise it can involve that much more heartache and guilt and regret. Please know as others have said, that we are here for you and, I for one look forward to your posts but it's something to be measured acc. to whether you are of the frame of mind. Participate as you feel inclined and know there is lots of love and support available here!

    • Limeylizzie

      I am so sorry, you have been such a huge part of this wonderful collection of people, it will be less fun and less interesting if you leave, but I think it will be a comfort should you decide to stay.

    • AlterNewt

      " This community has been good for me in the past. You owe me nothing."

      You have my sympathy nonetheless.

    • Millennial Malaise

      What an awful start to 2012. Sorry to hear of you and your wife's troubles, Fukui, and I'm hoping that your wife's health is improving, regardless of the behavior displayed by the insurance companies. Hearing the legal debate over this issue veer into the absurd (broccoli baiting dicks), it's hard to forget that there are people's lives and livelihoods at stake. Makes me sick.

      I know I'm kind of new, but even when I was a lurker, I would look out for your comments! From one atheist to another, I'm praying to the spaghetti monster for you.

    • Oh Fukui, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Let us know if we can help.

    • redarmyzombie

      I'm sorry about your troubles, Fukui-san. I cannot say I understand all of what you are going through, but I can say I understand much of it.

      A couple years back, a good friend of my family contracted a staph infection in her stomach after undergoing surgery. She was dating my uncle at the time, who was also going through custody problems with his ex-egg donor(I cannot bring myself to call her his wife) and started drinking again after decades of being a recovered alcoholic.
      Shortly after our friend's recovery, my uncle made the decision to commit suicide while inebriated, and hung himself.. His neighbor found him and was able to get him to a hospital, but we ended up having to take him off life support after two weeks with no brain activity. I understand it's hell, and all I can really say is to let your friends take care of you when you need it; it will never be the same, but I can honestly say it will get better.

      I'd also like to say, just to end with a little optimism, that my grandmother survived cancer in her sixties, and is still kicking around today.

      Do what you need to, and do something special while you're at it, eh? We'll be ready and waiting, whatever you do.

    • C_R_Eature

      I am so very sorry to hear this and I do wish that things will work out better for you and your wife and that you all can find some peace.

      This is a hard road you have to walk, to be sure. Be strong, but please don't try to walk it alone. We're a social species, when it comes right down to it, and we do better when we have a community of others to aid us.

      Find community where you can, out there, and come back here when you will. I'm sure you will be welcomed. Inside all the smart-assery, there's an extraordinary collection of people here, many have gone through exactly what you are now. You can lean on us here, if you need to, or just come back to forget.

      The world really can be a shit place – believe me, I know – but it can also be wonderful. The company can make all the difference.

      In parting, for now, this may help:
      "I've been told that it's Just the way life goes."

      Take good care and good luck. CRE

    • HistoriCat

      Fukui – I can't say anything that everyone else hasn't already said but go if you need to go. Just come back when you're ready – you are a must-read commentator and we will miss you while you're gone.

    • Tilley

      When it rains, it pours.

      Please stay here. There is a lot of comfort and sympathy at this place.

      What kind of cancer is it? I feel entitled to ask this, as I am a breast-cancer "survivor," and my spouse has been battling an allegedly rare form of thyroid cancer for 12 years. (When he was diagnosed they said it was Stage III.) Just saying, don't panic about that. It's not a death sentence. It's more like a chronic condition many times these days. Our name is legion.

      In terms of spiritual support, speaking for myself, when the spouse was diagnosed with cancer less than a year after I was, I thought I'd lose my mind, until I discovered Buddhism. One of the things that attracted me to it is that it is anti-evangelical; you have to seek it out, it doesn't seek you. Understanding the philosophy, whether you accept its religiosity, helped me more than anything, and still keeps me sane. Just sayin'. Love and compassion to you always my virtual friend. We are here.

    • 102415

      Mean is sometimes good where there is Cancer. It sure helped me cope.Do what you must but we will be here for you.

    • TxSpinyLizrd

      Fukui, I hope you decide to at least check in now and then. When life takes a bleak turn, the distraction provided by teh Trucknutz or other such silliness can be a wonderful thing.

      I wish you and your wife healing and comfort, whether you be atheist, agnostic or of faith. A day at a time.

    • gullywompr

      I also am afflicted with atheism, and for me, it's an incurable condition. Seeing one's friends or family find comfort in faith during difficult times can sometimes make you wish you had something to turn to as well, but there's just no choice other than to deal, and yes, it can be a shit place. For us, there's no alternatives, but we can borrow the good bits from various religions. Of late, I've been reading up on Dudeism, which of course is tongue-in-cheek, but has all the right mantras, and the humor may provide some temporary respite. Other than that, my sincere sympathies on your wife's illness, and the passing of your brother-in-law. I hope you find enough love from your family and friends to give you the strength to get through these times.

    • Barb

      Fukui, you have me to talk to. E-mail me at That is "Barb" xo xo xo (no spaces) x-o-x-o-x-o

      • Tilley

        Thanks Barb for your offering and prompting me to say to Fukui, and MittBot (or whoever he is now, that name-changing scamp!), or anyone else who could use emotional support that I might be able to offer (there's that Buddhish thing coming out again): email me at, any time. Yeah, I trust my fellow Wonkettes with this (secondary) email address. Love and kisses.

        • Hey! Why for you callingk me der namez?

          At least I think that's me!

      • My money's on Barb to be organized enough to figure out some tangible way we can help Fukui-san. Sounds like CommieGirl is simpatico. Count me in for help. My address is the screen name you know me by

    • Fukui-san, you have lifted my drug-resistant-clinically-depressed spirit so often it pains me to see you sad and bereft. Never think of yourself as a downer. You are our much-loved Kitchen Chairman temporarily off the rails and you have every reason to think of this as a shit world today. Although raised by Catholics, I abandoned the God realm but I do believe that a bunch of people focused on single idea can send some kind of magic through the ozone. Consider your Wonket pals to be doing that for your wife and all the loved ones of your brother-in-law. So sad. Reach out to me anytime. I am poorly hidden in cyberspace as I have an E-mail address with the screen name I use here at I'll miss you if you go. If you can't snark, just say "yes" sometime to someone's post so we know you're with us.

      With much love from your friend, Jukesgrrl

    • emmelemm

      First, I always enjoy your comments. I will miss them if they are gone.

      Second, it really never rains but it pours, right? Or at least, that's how it feels. I'm so sorry to hear about your difficult times. As a fellow atheist, I guess I can only say, "I'll keep you in my thoughts."

      It would be very comforting to believe in an afterlife, but alas, the price of admission to that delusion is too high in my book. (As in, you also have to believe in an all-powerful being who either deliberately allows children to suffer because of his 'plan', or doesn't give a shit about us at all.)

    • Extempor-sanYesAnus

      As a fellow godless heathen who's way too intimately familiar with what you're likely going through, all I can say is that you and your family are in my thoughts, and that the only things you need worry about worshipping right now are togetherness, tenderness, and time.

      Take care, brother…we'll be here should you need us.

    • (Hugs Fukui) Come talk to me, baby. I'll listen.

      I'm going through some of this now, my own self. I'll listen, I'll understand, I'll dust you off and give you hugs. Fuck it, man. This is an awful place for you to be in, don't go away from the people who really care about you.

      You know where to find me. The political cat, all one word, and yes, I'm on the Gee Mailz.

    • One more thing I gotta say: My mother had cancer of the colon in her 50s, and by the time she finally popped her clogs at the ripe age of 85, there was NO trace of it in her system. She had surgery, and was supposed to have chemo, but abandoned the chemo after one session, on the grounds that it made her feel worse than if she'd just up and kacked. I screamed, begged, pleaded, and persuaded, to no avail, and she lived a long, healthy, and damned enjoyable life, cruising around various islands, taking knives onto planes, flying to various countries without valid visas, and buying Carrefours down to bare shelves.

      Sib appears to have mostly recovered from what she has, which is a very rare breast cancer. So ya never know, really. If it helps, the partner has MedLine access and spent some time as a cancer researcher, so whatever I can do to help, you have but to say the word. Whatever, ok? Any time.

      Also, insurance companies: CA has a partially-subsidised health insurance benefit. I had to take that option because no one wants to insure a gimp, which is what I am in real life. It's expensive but not hideously so. So, if you need to talk, come find me.

    • proudgrampa

      You, sir, are in my thoughts.

    • A big hug Fukui. We will miss your posts while you take care of business. That said, the Wonketteers were ever so supportive to me nine months back about my 29 year old daughter-in-law's diagnosis of stage IV colon cancer. Katie, like her hubby & grandpa are at best spiritual agnostics, but all are more than willing to fully embrace warm thoughts from fellow non-believers as well as prayers from the theistly leaners. BTW, Katie had a team of over 100 at a a colon-cancer half marathon last weekend, she did a 5K portion, she's still teaching, and her last CT showed her tumors are still way smaller than when she was first diagnosed.

      Keep cooking Fukui and hope to see you back soon with your delightful dry snark.

    • JustPixelz

      This community has been good for me in the past. You owe me nothing.

      I joined wonkette in sickness and in health. (I have also forsaken all others, except the Maddow Blog.) If there's a way to help, I'm in.

      Fukui-san: You're not being tested as an atheist; you're being a husband. A good one, I'd say. And you're not alone. When my wife had health problems, there was so much we did not need to say to each other. Whether you talk to us on wonkette or leave for a while, my bet is she knows your heart inside and out.

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      Thank you all so much. You've really lifted my spirits.

      • Doktor StrangeZoom

        Just wanted to jump in with one more note of secular encouragement and hopes for the best. This weird internet thing keeps astonishing me for its ability to pull disconnected people together, at times for genuine good (as well as for cat videos). We'll miss you if you need to take a break, and we'll be here to commiserate and celebrate as things go forward. Life just sucks sometimes. But I still don't like to leave before the end of the movie.

        • Fukui-sanYesOta

          It's incredible. I thought I was just an annoying fuck on the edges of this place, and many many people come forward with wise and comforting words. Beautiful.

          It's this secular thing which gives me the most hope. Just people. It's … I can't tell you how much it means.

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      I just re-read all this and have been moved to tears. Goddamn, for a bunch of atheists and assorted-faith snarkists you're more than a chap could ask for.

      It's very hard to express how much I appreciate your comments.

      Thank you.

      Normal snark, I hope, resumed on Monday.

  • But but but, you will inevitably say in the comments because that’s what you always do on Olbermann posts, Keith Olbermann was the only thing that kept me sane during the Bush administration, with his unwatchable 10-minute fake rants where he pretended to be Ed Murrow! Never understood it; can’t offer you much help in that regard.

    If you never understood it . Let me explain it, as it applies to me. Olbermann provided me with a attitudnaal and factual counterpoint to what was being spewed during the Bush years. From my perspective Olbermann was on the same wavelength as such luminaries as Klein, Layne, Newell, and Weigelman.

  • Schmegeg

    I tried to find a job listing for Keith on a more obscure network than Current, but it ii s simply impossible.

  • bflrtsplk

    What can you expect from a guy who made his name on Sportscenter?

  • lumpenprole

    "fake rants"
    That bugged me enough that I never really made it all the way through WATCH THIS YouTube clips, never mind his show. Louis Black rants. His suffering is palpable.

  • FNMA

    Forgive me for being late to the party, and if this question has already been asked, but is Al going to replace Keith with Chris Berman?

  • finallyhappy

    Just saw my first GOP ad- anti- Santorum. In one part- they compare him to Hillary Clinton(some vote-I don't know) and bring in a photo of Hillary. The end line is 20 years in Washington changed his values. Really, it was 20 years here that made him more of a rightwing homophobic racist woman hating bastard?

  • An_Outhouse

    Don't fret Keith, there is always community access cable.

    • ThundercatHo

      I hereby volunteer my basement (it's nice). Who should be Garth?

      • An_Outhouse

        John McLaughlin

    • Negropolis

      But, I thought Current was community access cable. Haven't you seen the set of Jennifer Granholm's The War Room?

      • commiegirl

        I have. Fuckin YOUCH.

  • HistoriCat

    Spitzer? Meh. I guess someone is going to have to do the bold thinking around here.

    News Lockdown with Rod Blagoevich

    Call me, Al – we'll do lunch.

    • flamingpdog

      I thought Blago was already signed up for a stint on another show, on Keith's old network.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    OT, but the long national nightmare is over. Tom and Sally are finally married.

  • OT

    Just in time for making with the spring pretty Wonketeer ladies and laddies you might consider Manglaze's new deep russet Santorum nail polish Yes, this oh so special cosmetic highlight could be that perfect something to really compliment your Easter bonnets.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    "Sanctimonious screeching creep Keith Olbermann"

    Don't hold back, Jim. It's bad for your spleen.

  • meatpuppet2

    I was pleasantly surprised when I watched Spitzers show on CNN. I think he can find an audience. Just sayin.

    • Limeylizzie

      I agree, I found him very smart, very interesting and I couldn't stop thinking about him naked and getting a blow-job. That can make for terrific television.

      • Chichikovovich

        I couldn't stop thinking about him naked and getting a blow-job. That can make for terrific television.

        I hadn't thought of it until you pointed it out, but that is absolutely true. I certainly could never get tired of watching you thinking about Elliot Spitzer getting a blowjob.

      • flamingpdog

        Oh Jeezus, Lizzie, I'm so glad I read this before I went out to get my Saturday coffee.

    • Millennial Malaise

      I never saw the Parker Spitzer show because CNN generally sucks, and I didn't know who the hell she was. But Spitzer in interviews and other chat show formats is always a pleasure…ahem, for the reasons that Lizzie stated above.

    • Gainsbourg69

      Any time I've seen him on Bill Maher he's been pretty good. He knows how to argue a point quite intelligently and he isn't a shouter, which is always good.

  • meatpuppet2

    Yes, there are numerous groans on the orange satan who feel another one of their own has fallen victim to evil DINO's or whatever. Not nearly as loud as they were when he got the boot from MSNBC.

    I guess even "let's let the perfect be the enemy of the good" orange satan kos has its limits of tolerance.

  • wood50

    Wow! Imagine if other station owners had to put up with egos? Maybe like:

    And yet Brillo is still employed by HIS boss for being shrill, overbearing, etc. etc.

    Imagine again Brillo working out of a highschool studio like Keith has had to with students running the boards and equipment from Army/Navy Surplus stores? Uh Huh!

    Just sayin'

    • flamingpdog

      Al Gore's a pussy now that Tipper is out of the picture.

    • Revenue floats egos.

  • flamingpdog

    Noon MDT and no Saturday post? Our new and newly-rehired overlords are getting lazy already? Or do they just get Palm Saturday off in their contracts?

    • Limeylizzie

      Really, what are they thinking?

    • RadioStalingrad

      Whatcha you gonna do when the Novelty is gone?

      • Radio are you sayin' we've been punked?

        • RadioStalingrad

          And we'll all be hanging in our kitchens if we don't get some fresh meat.

        • RadioStalingrad

          Or, we could go old school and shoot for 1,000 comments.

          • redarmyzombie

            Well then, *cracks knuckles*, lets get this started, shall we?

    • Looks like some gentle whinging did the trick – great speech from Barry.

      Thanks flaming.

  • ttommyunger

    Meh. Infamous self-important blowhard replaced by consumer of expensive blowjobs. Good thing nobody watches Current TV.

  • Olbermann, whose ego isn’t the size of Jupiter but certainly is that of Jupiter’s largest moon

    But it bears mentioning, if your ego *should* surpass the magnitude of Jupiter's moon and approach the size of Jupiter itself — consult your physician consider your position.

  • Millennial Malaise

    Any love for Thom Hartmann, Mr Gore? He's like the nerdier, more awkward version of Keith Olbermann and perhaps not as good with words, but his level of righteousness is definitely more palatable and he really knows his shit. I think he's on RT now which might have the same amount of viewers that Current has…so maybe not a step up.

  • Current TV??? Oh – I thought that channel was CURRANT TV…. the jams and jellies channel. I always wondered why Olberman was on there….

    • redarmyzombie

      I myself am looking forward to the Pasty Channel. Mmm-m!

    • You must be looking forward to tomorrow, April Food's day, right?

  • user-of-owls

    Sanctimonious screeching creep Keith Olbermann

    Can we just call him Sasqueech?

  • He1senberg

    This picture is just brand fucking new every time I look at it. The liberal equivalent of Rush Limbaugh. Haha so good:

  • Non_ExistentPat

    You keep using the word Special. I do not think it means what you think it means.

  • oldedinvn

    Fuck you very much. I just got back from a ramble or what ever the Oz people call after cruising bia hois in Hanoi. it. I still have 1/2 my wits about me & wanted to snarnk k on something less than 2 days old. Everthingis wrong, no knew potss & what I thought was 2 bags of potatoe chips was 2 bakes os hotdog rolls. Fuck the editricks person.

  • musicmoney21 on the trail w/ all the GOP hopefuls asked by Reuters "are you (and Kid Rock) the only rock musicians the GOP could find?"

    • CapnFatback

      Congratulations. You may be the first commenter to be reviled concurrently on Wonkette and Breitbart. Your music–or rather, your whoring of it–has united disparate parties in ways that Bob Geldoph and Michael Jackson could only dream of.


  • WeHaveIssues

    I would imagine in daily life Keith uses the phrase, "Do you know who I am!?!?!" at hotels, restaurants, Golden Corral buffet, etc…

    NOW maybe we can just get to what we've always wanted and been waiting for:
    An Olberman vs. Limbaugh steel cage fight to the death match.

  • thefrontpage

    Keith Olbermann was the only thing that kept me sane during the Bush administration, with his unwatchable 10-minute fake rants where he pretended to be Ed Murrow!

  • Jeremy

    You’re as dumb as Keith Olbermann is.

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