ehhhh

Deadbeat Tea Party Congressman Joe Walsh Has Purple Heart Band-Aid For Tammy Duckworth’s Missing Legs

Also: flip-flops!Were you guys aware that deadbeat Tea Party Congressman Joe Walsh, running against Iraq veteran, former Blackhawk helicopter pilot, double-amputee, and assistant secretary for Veterans Affairs Tammy Duckworth, is the real fighter? You are now!

“In many ways, I’m the challenger. I’m the guy who sleeps in my office, I’m the guy who goes at the establishment on both sides. Turned down my benefits. She’s been the one working in Washington. She’s a bureaucrat. I’m a fighter.”

Well, dude’s got big powerful jism-filled balls, that’s for sure. But is there more? Yes, there is more.

“I have so much respect for what she did in the fact that she sacrificed her body for this country,” said Walsh, simultaneously lowering his voice as he leaned forward before pausing for dramatic effect. “Ehhh. Now let’s move on.”

“What else has she done? Female, wounded veteran … ehhh,” he continued. “She is nothing more than a handpicked Washington bureaucrat.”

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If you need him, Joe Walsh will be in his office, sleeping, fighting, doing almost nothing, and avoiding child support, because “personal responsibility.” [Politico]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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152 comments

  1. el_donaldo

    If by fighter you mean the guy who'll push people out of the way to get to the TV cameras, sure.

    1. sullivanst

      But not the person who actually, y'know, dons a uniform and goes into combat for their country. That's not what he means by "fighter".

    2. mrpuma2u

      He will also fight against his own constituent's right to talk about things he does not like, by shouting them down and then claiming it was because he had too much coffee.

    1. actor212

      “I have so much respect for what she did in the fact that she sacrificed her body for this country,” he continued, "But look at me! I've sacrificed my marriage, my reputation and my dignity to be the screeching asshole you see before you today!"

        1. billy_reuben

          You're absolutely right, and it's about Goddam time that somebody recognizes the sacrifices he makes for our republic everyday. Do you think he LIKES being that big of a douche bag? Do you think it makes him feel good about himself to behave the way he does? Sure, he's got a gift, but do you think it's EASY for him? No. No, it isn't. And you're welcome. Dammit.

      1. Swampgas_Man

        ". . . ] she sacrificed her body for this country"

        But look at me. I'VE got a body! Don't the voters deserve somebody w/ a body?

  2. hagajim

    What Joe Walsh didn't tell you is that he sleeps in his office because he's a homeless loser who got elected by a ragtag bunch of idiots….but that's another point entirely.

  3. nounverb911

    "Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what your country can do for you"
    –Joe Walsh

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      Ask not what you can do for your district, ask what your district can do for you. – Fixed.

  4. prommie

    If there were a God, He or She would be punching this POS in the balls right now, repeatedly. As for me, I am gonna go sell some plasma, buy lottery tickets with the proceeds, and when I win, give $5 million to his opponent.

        1. Lascauxcaveman

          Dibs on the throat. And trust me, when I punch a guy in the throat, he stays punched.*

          *obvious macho posturing, not a credible threat

          1. Baconzgood

            As the band Rape Man said.

            "I suppose I'm not too threating….Presently…but wait till I start nautilus."

          2. Baconzgood

            Last year Shellac of North America's drummer groped my lil lady. Any other drummer wouldn't get away with it.

    1. C_R_Eature

      I think you should sell tickets for people to go and punch Joe Walsh in the Balls. You'd get to $5 million in no time.

  5. SayItWithWookies

    Dude sleeps in his office because he doesn't want to have any assets that the judge can seize in lieu of child support. Maybe he should run on that.

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      An Alaskan lawmaker did that too. Of all the convicted members of the Corrupt Bastards Club, Vic Kohring was the probably the most hapless of them all. A hard nosed conservative who slept in his office to save money and wrote regular opinion pieces bemoaning the state's slide into socialism.

      Government office buildings are not dorms or frat houses. If members didn’t want to find housing in their State Capital's or Washington, they shouldn’t run for office in the first place, especially when they run to rail against the Insiders, Elite, Establishment types.

  6. lochnessmonster

    I knew he was one of those jerks illegally sleeping in his office rather than pay for an apt in DC.

  7. Steverino247

    And you're a nose-picking deadbeat father, you useless piece of shit. Tammy Duckworth should receive every vote in that district, that's how much better she is than him.

    And may we please not have the Purple Heart band-aid picture again? I know men who have earned Purple Hearts, some more than one. I promise not to write "All of them, Katie" anymore if you honor that humble request.

    1. HogeyeGrex

      I hate to say it, but I think that picture needs to be posted everywhere, every day, just so nobody forgets what a batch of completely soulless, hypocritical sphincter polyps the entire right wing really is.

      I know it makes you angry. It should. It makes me angry too. I hope it makes a lot of people angry. Angry enough to shun every one of the cancerous testicles that comprise the Republican Party. For all time.

      Letting these assdrippings cram their history down the memory hole is all that keeps them viable. If they were to actually be confronted with their past actions any time they tried to do anything, they would shrivel up and blow away.

  8. metamarcisf

    If he loses to this handpicked Marxist, Walsh can look on the bright side. He'll have time to write all those checks.

  9. C_R_Eature

    "What did you do in the war, Daddy? Daddy? Oh, Daddy? DADDY!?"

    "Shhh, Honey, Daddy's left us alone and poor and he managed to avoid serving his country in the Military, too."

    You're determined to piss me off today, Rebecca. Aren't you?

    1. fuflans

      yeah he's a total shithead. i'm not in her district, but i'm working for her campaign because he is quite seriously the most offensive thing i've ever seen come out of IL.

      and i've had rahm rostenkowski and blago as my actual reps.

  10. kakotechnia

    I thought the only things Joe Walsh said "ehhh" to was child support and taxes. The list was definitely missing "injured veterans."

  11. Isyaignert

    All of the 'baggers that snuck into office during the last election have got to go! They're embarassing to anyone with a brain and integrity.

    1. oldedinvn

      Why? Umerica worships stupid.
      I finally understand why the religious people do not believe in evelution. They watch America & see devolution.
      Stupid is.

  12. Baconzgood

    My GOD! Dude? What the FUCK? Is your neck tie too tight and cutting of your blood flow to your brain? How the fuck is your spin doctor going to fix this word train wreck?

  13. MissTaken

    “Ehhh. Now let’s move on.”

    Yes, let's move on indeed. Move on from having you as a member of Congress so you can go back home, get a job, and starting paying your child support.

  14. SorosBot

    Yes, those bureaucrats are just so horrible, making sure the government runs to benefit the American people; we really should disdain anyone who does such an important service. Oh and my mother was a bureaucrat, so fuck you, Joe Walsh.

    1. prommie

      The banality of evil? There is nothing special about Hitler, he wasn't supremely evil, there are probably a million people in the US today who would do what he did, if they ever had the power.

  15. Lucidamente1

    Joe Walsh, I may not agree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to be as unhinged as Joe Miller, Carl Paladino, and Allen West.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      …as long as you continue to do so loudly and publicly, so the world can see what a chafed, santorum-dripping asshole you are.

  16. Generation[redacted]

    “What else has she done? Female, wounded veteran … ehhh,”

    No need to elaborate further. She achieved femaledom, and isn't that enough?

  17. weej_bain

    ♪♫ Well, he's tellin' us this
    And he's tellin' us that
    Changes it ev'ry day
    Says it doesn't matter
    Bases are loaded
    And Casey's at bat
    Playin' it play-by-play
    Time to change the batter♫♪

    Joe Walsh (James Gang not f'ing Eagles) on Joe Walsh

  18. Slim_Pickins

    Joe sleeps in his office to avoid the process servers his ex-wife has been sending his way. Note to hisnex-wife: Hire and ex-congressman to serve your subpenas, this have still have access and work cheap…

  19. el_donaldo

    I wish we could go back to the days when the only Joe Walsh we knew about was that guy from the James Gang and the Eagles.

  20. Baconzgood

    “Ehhh. Now let’s move on.”
    Translation
    "Fuck! Did that just come out of my mouth? Pretend I didn't say that."

  21. C_R_Eature

    Thanks, Steve-o. That photo bothers me too, if only for the outrageously inconsiderate ballsiness that the Republicans got away with at that convention.

      1. C_R_Eature

        Thank you. It's important to remember.

        They are not like us. The people who run the Republican Party now are pathological Sociopaths whose emotional development is stuck at "teenager". We should not treat them as anything more worthy of respect.

        1. emmelemm

          Teenager libel.

          Seriously, while many teenagers are raging monsters, there are at least some who understand empathy.

          1. C_R_Eature

            True and apologies. It's the ones that never progress beyond the "I am the Center of the Universe" psychology that really need worrying about.

        2. HogeyeGrex

          "Teenager" is being far too kind.

          I generally find that I'm reminded of three to five year olds.

          1. C_R_Eature

            Yeah, but I'm not about to post that here and have someone shouting THREE TO FIVE YEAR OLD LIBEL!!1!!1

  22. Pragmatist2

    New slogan for Walsh:
    "Anyone can lose their legs in combat. It takes a man to not pay child support."

  23. Lucidamente1

    "I mean, no offense, but we took out Max Cleland in 2002, and he's a triple amputee for chrissakes."

  24. elviouslyqueer

    Wait. First Jumpin' Joe Scabro jumps ship and calls bullshit on "far right wing" nutcases. Then Politico — fucking Politico — not only takes Walsh to task but so do the vast majority of its commenters?

    That's it. I'm going home, drink up all my booze, and fuck my partner til he can't see straight, because this has got to be the start of the Apocalypse.

      1. elviouslyqueer

        Oh I figured the first Apocalyptic horse trotted on by after the Saints won the Super Bowl. I've been a little uneasy ever since.

        1. C_R_Eature

          When you see a whole lot of fat, naked middle aged Evangelicals flying by, then you'll know The Time Has Come.

    1. SorosBot

      I was pleasantly shocked by the comments; so far there's only one bit of wingnut nastiness. I don't know if that means Politico is getting a better class of commenters, or even the crazies don't like the deadbeat dad.

  25. Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    "Female, wounded veteran"

    I guess the "Tammy" or "the boobs" or the "lack of legs" weren't enough for us. Thanks for the diorama.

  26. Not_So_Much

    Even without her sacrificed legs, I'll bet she could beat his bitch ass to a pulp. Fade away now Joe…like Allen West's hair. (actually, take him with you)

  27. ElPinche

    Ducksworth sounds like she made a difference for this country. However, Joe Walsh is an asshole and a waste of salt. He's perfect GOP material.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        So, you see, he had forgotten to pay his home utilities, but the heat was still on at work.

    1. Steverino247

      Hitler! And Joe Walsh should do the same thing Hitler did in his office. Only leave Blondi out of it…

  28. teebob2000

    Re: the photo alt-text – are you implying that since Joe Walsh CAN wear flip-flops it's another reason to vote for him instead?

  29. valthemus

    I feel so stupid… why had I never seen it before? People who truly hate government actually *want* useless a-holes like Joe Walsh to be in charge of it. A big "DUH!!" moment for me!

  30. spends2much

    Joe Walsh is the real victim here. I mean, Tammy Duckworth is going to show up at every event missing body parts just to rub Joe's face in it.

    I look forward to Fox News spinning thusly.

    Also, where does this piece of shit think HIS paycheque (sorry, Canadian spelling!) comes from? HE is happily sucking the Guvmint teat and not even feeding his fucking kids with the money!

    1. sewollef

      Pay cheque = English spelling… or rather French spelling if we really want to split hairs.

    2. horsedreamer_1

      Just like that Space Messican in NorCal trying to look accomplished, & shit, even in the face of being Messican/"anchor Murican".

  31. EmileZoloft

    Wounded combat veteran? Ehhhhh.
    Fundraising for a rehabilitation center for wounded veterans? Meh.
    Advocating for medical care for those who need it most? Pffft.
    Single-handedly stopped a group of heavily armed fanatics from capturing and launching a Minuteman III ICBM and rescuing all the hostages? What-EVS.

  32. Doktor StrangeZoom

    Wounded combat veterans like Max Cleland. Tammy Duckworth, and John Kerry hate America because they have a "D" after their names. Chickenhawks like Walsh are the true patriots. Duh. What do you want, someone who actually served, or somebody who says all sorts of really tough things?

  33. Antispandex

    A republican giving the finger to a wounded vet? You could knock me over with a feather. This has NEVER been done before.

  34. owhatever

    Joe says he's not picking on her because he feels the same way about all veterans. Loves them about as much as he loves his family-values kids.

  35. Steverino247

    Important safety tip for IL-8 voters, DON'T VOTE FOR THE GREEN PARTY, YOU STUPID FUCKS! Over 6,000 votes for that party cost us Congresswoman Bean and gave us Walsh. Happy about that, are you?

  36. spareme

    I don't get it – in the Chicago I grew up in, if some asshole came into our bar and starting screaming and yeling at us , poking their finger at us, we would of taken him out the front door and run him over with 69 Chevelle SS, Camaro, Hemi, some kind of big block, and he would of never ever ever been able to run for office or grow up a dumb asshole, amen.

    We bought drinks for our wounded vets and take care of them, however. And we do til this day.

  37. Callyson

    As one of five Illinois seats being targeted by national Democrats for pickups
    Five? Go Land of Lincoln!

  38. sewollef

    Fuck no! He did NOT say, “Ehhh. Now let’s move on.”

    Did he?

    Damn, piss, fuck! What a lowlife…. he sleeps in his "office" is obviously a euphemism for sleeps in his diaper.

  39. CivicHoliday

    Silly Tammy…doesn't she know that vets are only useful when they can be trotted out every time the neocons want to bang war drums, spy on us or burn down mosques?

  40. mavenmaven

    I'm sure Ann Coulter will be on his side. Those 9/11 victims, war veterans, etc, how she hates them for what they've sacrificed for this country!

  41. horsedreamer_1

    Ol' Joe & Saxby go to Veterans Meal Programs in DC & steal their food & push them out of their wheelchairs.

  42. elburritodeluxe

    Let me see HER knock up some local broad and then a couple years later run out on her wife and kids while running for Congress, huh!

  43. glamourdammerung

    I think you are all underestimating the bravery of real patriots like Rmoney, or Erick Erickson, or Rush Limbaugh, or Andy Breitbart who bravely volunteered to uhm…

    Well, there was the one vet that got captured because he disobeyed a direct order and managed to run for president solely based on that "qualification".

  44. megadama

    I'm contacting every Nevada assemblymen and state senator to give us back our WRITE-IN BALLOT by November so we can write in RON PAUL as President. YOU NEED TO DO THE SAME IN YOUR STATE. It's only right. Paul's the only candidate who will save America. A vote for Obama, Romney, Santorum, or Gingrich is a vote for the continued communization of this ONCE-FREE country. All four of these demons belong to the Council On Foreign Relations, America's shadow government. Visit The John Birch Society – the barometer of what's really Conservative (neocons aren't) – to learn more about the quasi-communistic CFR: http://jbs.org/. The CFR is an organization dedicated to bringing America under the control of the United Nations. But they have to eliminate our Constitution first. Which they've already done in part by ramming through the Detainee Security Act (NDAA) which effectively scrapped the Bill Of Rights, THAT PART OF THE CONSTITUTION THAT MADE AMERICA A FREE COUNTRY. Research it if you don't believe me. REAL CHRISTIANS AND REAL AMERICAN CONSERVATIVES WANT ONLY RON PAUL AS AMERICA'S NEXT PRESIDENT.

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