KICKS ARE FOR YIDS  6:38 pm March 29, 2012

Silly Jewishes, War Criminal Congressman Allen West Knows What Is Best For You (War)

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Schlemiel! Schlemazel!Did you know that there are Jewish people who sometimes think that Israel is wrong — and some of those Jewish people actually live there? Also there is a group of liberal Jews* (what? Shut yo mouth!) in New York mostly, who do liberal things, like want peace, which is kind of a Jewish tradition. (Also: socialism and kugel.) But war criminal and Florida Congressman Allen West is having none of that! He knows what is best for Israel and its Jewishes, and that is never-ending war.

Here is Allen West on his MyFace page, being MyFacey:

Today on Capitol Hill there are lots of J-Street (Pro-Palestinian Jewish Organization) representatives, of course several have recognized me and wanted to chat. I just have to shake my head when these citizens ask me to believe in Iran and support a two-state solution. When I ask them if there is a willing peace partner on the other side, they respond by saying yes. When I ask them how does one negotiate with leaders who do not even recognize your existence, they respond with, you have to believe in them. Well, looks like I will have to save these people from themselves. I take a man at his word when he says he wants to kill me, I ain’t suicidal.

Our bold! Thanks, big strong Allen West, for saving us from our poor weak stupid Jew-ish selves. Apparently we are all women, not just the women! Of course, West isn’t saying anything all the evangelicals aren’t saying all the time (usually, like, Bachmann and shit), going on and on about how disagreeing with Israel is anti-Semitic (because they’d know) and they will be the ones to set the bounds for acceptable discourse regarding Israel, thank you very much! So guys, kinda fuck you. Wait wait! But what does Ghost Andrew Breitbart think?

The bottom line: Allen West loves Israel. J Street does not.

All that said, we bet Allen West does recognize when someone wants to kill him, that is true.

*Something something journalistic integrity: The half of Your Editrix’s family that is Jew-ish includes an uncle who got a J Street “L’Chaim!” award, or something; he sent us the video of the ceremony, but we only told him we watched it. Oh, and looking it up, we see that he is a co-chair of J Street’s PAC as well. Mazel! Anyway, all we ever paid attention to was that it was like AIPAC in Opposite Land, in that it was not full of dicks.

 
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{ 204 comments }

Beetagger March 29, 2012 at 6:41 pm

I thought J Street was a rapper.

Toomush_Infer March 29, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Uh uh – stripper…

Numbat_Dundee March 29, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Yes, but he raps in Yiddish.

sewollef March 30, 2012 at 8:53 am

Err no, she strips in Yiddish

glamourdammerung March 29, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Well, looks like I will have to save these people from themselves.

I recall similar "logic" being used to describe treatment towards blacks in the South.

Chet Kincaid March 29, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Allen West's charcoal pillbox-helmet is irony-proof, but knock yourself out.

Studebaker Hawk March 29, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Right man's burden.

bagofmice March 29, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Well, there is this village in Vietnam you see.

NorthStarSpanx March 30, 2012 at 9:09 am

This is the first I've ever heard of the Blah Man's Burden.

anniegetyerfun March 29, 2012 at 6:44 pm

I remember this game! It's the one where if you oppose war, the right wing asks why you hate your own country.

glamourdammerung March 29, 2012 at 7:13 pm

I thought that game stopped once we got a black president, judging by the whining about fulfilling our treaty obligations in Libya.

SorosBot March 29, 2012 at 7:21 pm

It's a Democratic president, really; remember how the Republicans also attacked Clinton for trying to go after that Osama bin Laden guy and his al Qaeda group. Well they were proven right, he was no real threat like Bill was making him out to be.

glamourdammerung March 29, 2012 at 7:32 pm

You have a point. Especially when Clinton got involved in ending "ethnic cleansing" while the Republicans were screaming and crying about that in addition to going on about Saddam somehow being "just like Hitler".

Designer_Rants March 29, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Bill was just a rabid chickenhawk, it turned out. Maybe he shoulda mentioned "mushroom clouds".

Barb March 29, 2012 at 6:45 pm

"But what does Ghost Andrew Breitbart think?"

He probably thinks it sucks being the Devil's chew toy.

An Asexual Ungulate March 29, 2012 at 7:09 pm

And pineapple sodomy is a lot less fun than he expected.

doloras March 29, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Wait. Is the pineapple the pitcher, or the catcher?

An Asexual Ungulate March 29, 2012 at 8:34 pm

I can't imagine either one is very fun. Pick your pleasure I guess?

Dashboard Buddha March 29, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Satan: NO TEETH YOU BASTARD!

Andrew: mmmnph mmmph mmmmph!

FROTHY March 29, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Ask Biely. Satan has his own way of ensuring "no teeth, you bastard."

Biel_ze_Bubba March 30, 2012 at 4:41 am

No teeth means no teeth. What's the problem?

Beowoof March 29, 2012 at 7:42 pm

What would Brian Boitano do?

doloras March 29, 2012 at 8:17 pm

I'll make dirty love to you, 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do.

C_R_Eature March 29, 2012 at 9:44 pm

"But what does Ghost Andrew Breitbart think?"

"FUCK, It's hot in here!"
"Get away from me, you scaly, bat winged bastard!"
"OW MY ASS!"

OneYieldRegular March 29, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Edgar G. Robinson voice: "Whaddya think of yer Moses now, Pharoah?"

stncmchnc March 29, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Meeyaahh, see…

nounverb911 March 29, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Oy Gevalt, what a putz!

FROTHY March 29, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Emmis.

BklynIlluminati March 29, 2012 at 6:45 pm

someone needs to jam a whole bagel in West's mouth and call it a day

Boojum March 29, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Bagel is Jewish for penis? Who knew?

HistoriCat March 29, 2012 at 10:28 pm

RIP Murray Lender …

nounverb911 March 29, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Is Allen West a first born? Passover's coming.

swordfis March 30, 2012 at 8:34 am

bingo

bumfug March 29, 2012 at 6:47 pm

"I had to destroy these people in order to save them."

elfgoldsackring March 29, 2012 at 6:50 pm

He saw 300 and now he wants to 'fight' some oiled and harnessed Persian muscle men.

emmelemm March 29, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Don't we all?

elfgoldsackring March 29, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Fair point.

CommieLibunatic March 29, 2012 at 7:22 pm

I think some of us would prefer the Rule 63* version.
(*for every character in fiction/non-fiction, there is a female version somewhere on the Internet.)

bagofmice March 29, 2012 at 10:00 pm

As long as they're covered in oil…

sewollef March 30, 2012 at 8:58 am

Yes but, can you lick off that much oil? Not sure if my delicate stomach can take that much 95 octane, unrefined or not…

Dashboard Buddha March 29, 2012 at 7:30 pm

This… is…PLANTATION!

Beowoof March 29, 2012 at 7:43 pm

So that's what the kids are calling it these days.

WiscDad March 30, 2012 at 11:27 am

In a Turkish bath?

nounverb911 March 29, 2012 at 6:50 pm

"But what does Ghost Andrew Breitbart think?"
I'd rather be here than in Philadelphia.*

*Apologies to WC Fields.

SorosBot March 29, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Hey now! Philly's awesome here.

flamingpdog March 29, 2012 at 8:51 pm

You're in Philly, Soros? Or is Philly just awesome where you are?

SorosBot March 29, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Yes, I'm in Philly, and have lived here for most of my life.

flamingpdog March 29, 2012 at 9:41 pm

You know Loraine Ballard? Yeah, I know, there are 3 million people in Philly and of course you know all of them, but that's been my stock first question for four decades to anyone who announces that they live in a town where I know one person.

Swampgas_Man March 29, 2012 at 9:49 pm

William Claude Fields' proposed epitath: On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 29, 2012 at 6:51 pm

All this peace talk is just getting in the way of Alan West's psychosexual need to go out and bomp people into bloody bits, like his heroes Bush and Cheney did.

FROTHY March 29, 2012 at 7:58 pm

With the emphasis on "sexual." No, wait, "psycho."

Oh, fuck it.

flamingpdog March 29, 2012 at 8:52 pm

I hear there's this Goerge guy in Sanford, FLA, who could use a good bomping. Can't be that big a drive.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 29, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Some typos really take the sting out of a message. (At least the dyslexic Wonketteers read it right.)

flamingpdog March 29, 2012 at 9:43 pm

If life gives you melons, hey, free melons!

MissTaken March 29, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Shorter Allen West: Peace is for pussies.

SorosBot March 29, 2012 at 7:14 pm

It is? They could have fooled me; those cats get nasty when another treads into their territory.

MissTaken March 29, 2012 at 7:49 pm

What? Have you ever seen Hello Kitty? She can't possibly be nasty since she doesn't even have a mouth.

bagofmice March 29, 2012 at 10:01 pm
SexySmurf March 29, 2012 at 6:52 pm

I just have to shake my head when these citizens ask me to believe in Iran

Everyone knows Iran doesn't exist. Just like black Republicans.

Boojum March 29, 2012 at 7:13 pm

All of them are made up ethnicities. Like all of them.

AlterNewt March 29, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Oh for fucking fuck's sake. Fuck.

How did this happen?!

nounverb911 March 29, 2012 at 6:57 pm

The Jews in his district thought they were voting for Pat Buchanan.

AlterNewt March 29, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Fuck.

AlterNewt March 29, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Wow. I seem to have reached some sort of Political Disgust Limit.

FROTHY March 29, 2012 at 8:00 pm

(Hugs the AlterNewt, pats its slimy back)

There, there. Just pour yourself a glass of the water of life and relax. Your mojo will be back by morning (at the latest).

AlterNewt March 29, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Thanks. Really.

Limeylizzie March 29, 2012 at 8:44 pm

Their blahs are better than our blahs?

Biff March 29, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Who responsible this?

AlterNewt March 29, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Apologies. Instead of "How did this happen?!", I might just as well have asked, "How did all these Sociopaths, Shitburgers, and FELONS get into office?"

Edit: Political indigestion. I'm sure it will pass.

sewollef March 30, 2012 at 9:00 am

Let's hope you fart downwind then… you know, toward the RNC

hagajim March 29, 2012 at 6:57 pm

I'm sure glad wingnut Allen West is here to save the Jewish folks from themselves. Grandstanding idiot.

rickmaci March 29, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Oy vey iz mir!

Monsieur_Grumpe March 29, 2012 at 7:00 pm

According to Mr West if you keep stomping on the Palestinian heads long enough they will eventually come around to believing in Israel.

emmelemm March 29, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Mmmm…. kugel.

Limeylizzie March 29, 2012 at 8:45 pm

Mmmm Nudel Kugel.

MosesInvests March 29, 2012 at 11:32 pm

Mmmm, potato kugel (my grandmother's-the best!)

FakaktaSouth March 29, 2012 at 7:02 pm

So if JStreet is about Jewish people is KStreet about Kunts?

Boojum March 29, 2012 at 7:12 pm

No. Kochs.

FakaktaSouth March 29, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Yeah. Same diff.

flamingpdog March 29, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Nah, KKK Street is for Kochs.

RadioStalingrad March 29, 2012 at 7:02 pm

You know who else had a sketchy military record, became a right wing politician, had peculiar grooming habits and had a complete misunderstanding of the Jews?

C_R_Eature March 29, 2012 at 7:06 pm

George W. Bush?

Boojum March 29, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Allen "Adolph" W. Hitler?

Monsieur_Grumpe March 29, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Charles Lindbergh?

AlterNewt March 29, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Cardinal Richelieu?

Dashboard Buddha March 29, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Father Charles Edward Coughlin

Monsieur_Grumpe March 29, 2012 at 7:31 pm

The Pope?

Antispandex March 29, 2012 at 8:24 pm

Dick Armey?

Limeylizzie March 29, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Oswald Moseley?

RadioStalingrad March 29, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Tx Lizzie, aside from the lulz, I learn so much from the Wonketz. And in this case three things:
1. He said "You don't clear up a dungheap from underneath it" upon leaving after the war.
2. In 2006 he was selected by the BBC History Magazine as the 20th century's worst Briton.
3. WTF?

George Spelvin March 29, 2012 at 10:56 pm

3. Holy shit

Limeylizzie March 29, 2012 at 11:06 pm

A monster.

flamingpdog March 29, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Mitt Romney?

Oh, my bad, I thought you said etch-a-sketchy military record.

CthuNHu March 29, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Benjamin Netanyahu?

Negropolis March 29, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Zing!

swordfis March 30, 2012 at 8:37 am

ditto

MosesInvests March 29, 2012 at 11:36 pm

To be fair to Netanyahu-and let me be quite clear, he's a right wing hack and the worst PM that Israel has ever had-his military record was far from sketchy. Not that he was a hero like his brother (the commander of the Entebbe rescue who was KIA), but he served honorably in the Israeli equivalent of the Green Berets. It's his political record that's sketchy.

Deportably_Jose March 31, 2012 at 1:02 am

Richard Nixon?

Doktor StrangeZoom March 29, 2012 at 7:02 pm

It's just like Dances With Wolves, where Kevin Costner was far better at being an Indian than any of the Indians! Allen West's new name will be "Dances Like a Putz."

rickmaci March 29, 2012 at 7:07 pm

or Dances with Lazar Wolf?

FROTHY March 29, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Yes, or Ben Kingsley starring in Gandhi because, you know, them culludz, what woud THEY know about movies, and stuff.

SorosBot March 29, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Kingsley is actually half-Indian and half-white-English, so he was partially appropriate; Wikipedia says his real name is Krishna Pandit Bhanji.

FROTHY March 29, 2012 at 8:40 pm

I'm well aware of that, dear. However, India has a HUGE film industry, some fine directors and actors (Om Puri, for example), and the INDIAN GOVERNMENT financed that fucking film with taxpayer money. So there was absolutely no need for them to find an ardha-shadha to play that role, when they could — and SHOULD — have tapped the enormous pool of available talent. It still makes me sick.

Biff March 29, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Um, H1-B visas?

flamingpdog March 29, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Did you hear about the time Ben Kingsley was kidnapped right in front of his 6-month-old child? It was like stealing Gandhi from a baby!

FROTHY March 29, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Awful, pdog. Awful. I'll have to sic an eagle on ya for that.

Gainsbourg69 March 29, 2012 at 11:20 pm

My father looks exactly like Ben Kingsley's Ghandi.

FROTHY March 29, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Is he Indian, or just lucky?

DaRooster March 29, 2012 at 7:08 pm

This fucking guy will do ANYTHING to get a quote, acknowledgment, attention….

Stop it you little piece of turd stuck on my shoe because it's raining and not a single piece of turd lets go once it is stuck to my shoe… God… if only the grass were more coarse and turd scrappingish…

Boojum March 29, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Allen West is like Patton, without the education or intelligence or charm.

ttommyunger March 29, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Or capabilities.

SheriffJoeBiden March 29, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Or accomplishments.

ttommyunger March 29, 2012 at 7:28 pm

also, too!

Chichikovovich March 29, 2012 at 8:38 pm

Or fashion sense.

tcaalaw March 29, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Or presumably the belief in reincarnation.

flamingpdog March 29, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Allen West should be shoveling shit in Louisiana.

MosesInvests March 29, 2012 at 11:39 pm

Patton also thought he knew what was best for the Jews (i.e., keeping them in concentration camps *after* the war).

Doktor StrangeZoom March 30, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Or having read Rommel's (that magnificent bastard!) book

SorosBot March 29, 2012 at 7:12 pm

"When I ask them how does one negotiate with leaders who do not even recognize your existence"

Yet the Palestinians are still trying to negotiate with the Netanyahu government, ignoring West's advice.

Angry_Marmot March 29, 2012 at 8:42 pm

I don't recognize your existence, West; you think you can negotiate with me?

ttommyunger March 29, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Allen West/Adam West; the only difference is that the latter intends to make a bumptious ass of himself.

finallyhappy March 29, 2012 at 7:49 pm

I just saw Adam West in an original Outer Limits- which has nothing to do with this but was 50 minutes better spent than listening to Allen West

flamingpdog March 29, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Adam West's partner: Burt Ward.
Allen West's partner: Psycho Ward.

ttommyunger March 29, 2012 at 9:58 pm

We have a winner, folks! ;)

Chet Kincaid March 29, 2012 at 7:17 pm

"If the frivolous-minded and haughty Debbie Wasserman-Schultz would only request it, I would safeguard her from all threats muslim and domestic. But she seems preoccupied with undermining the preeminence of my American virility!"

(Redacted by West's ever-vigilant press aide)

anniegetyerfun March 29, 2012 at 7:20 pm

I just figured that Israel/US are pretty much limbs on the same body.

C_R_Eature March 29, 2012 at 7:21 pm

יעדער נאר איז קלוג פאר זיך אלײן׃

Every fool is clever to himself. Allan.

Dashboard Buddha March 29, 2012 at 7:23 pm

"kugel"

Is that the muscle you ladies like to exercise?

Limeylizzie March 29, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Yes and mine has raisins in it.

Biff March 29, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Sweet!

flamingpdog March 29, 2012 at 9:49 pm

I thought we were talking about Allen West here, not Raisin Cain.

MosesInvests March 29, 2012 at 11:41 pm

I'm partial to savory kugels, myself. Although sweet kugels are great, too. Hell, there's no such thing as a bad kugel.

mavenmaven March 29, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Actually, the two state solution is what most Israelis believe is the better solution for Israel's survival, even on the right. It is the one state idea that theoretically is detrimental to the continuation of a Jewish state.

doloras March 29, 2012 at 8:26 pm

You can have a Jewish state covering all of Palestine or a democratic state covering all of Palestine. Not both.

SheriffJoeBiden March 29, 2012 at 7:40 pm

This reminds me of the time when I didn't give a shit what Allen West thinks of anything.

a_pink_poodle March 29, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Allen Weeeeest… Allen Weeeeest…
Crispity… Crunchity…
ALLEN WEEEEEST…
Where crazy goes to frolic freeeee…

Biff March 29, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Leave it to this fuckwit to make me miss Dick Nixon.

tcaalaw March 29, 2012 at 7:48 pm

The Messiah is a ni-[BELL CLANG]!

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 29, 2012 at 7:50 pm

these citizens ask me to believe in Iran

You have to like Mr. West's foreign policy. After all, if you don't believe in Iran, it can't possibly get you!

finallyhappy March 29, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Damn J streeters- probably eat kitniyot during Pesach even if they are Ashkenaz. Me, I am going to spread my quinoa out and check every seed(not)

swordfis March 30, 2012 at 8:39 am

Cast not your quinoa seed on the ground.

C_R_Eature March 29, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Do you thing that the Israelis ever get tired of all these Glittery-Eyed Americans running around with fistfuls of money and nudging their regional security affairs towards a catastrophic war which will devastate their whole country, so that the 2000 year old ghost of a Jewish freedom fighter Rabbi will magically come to life and force them all to convert to an alien religion, sending the ones who refuse down to eternal damnation?

flamingpdog March 29, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Glad I decided to read all the comments before posting. Did Allen West ever notice that the Bible condones slavery?

C_R_Eature March 29, 2012 at 9:15 pm

I don't know, but that would be an excellent question to put up on his MySpace page.

starfanglednut March 29, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Well said.

C_R_Eature March 29, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Thank you. These people make me nuts. All of them.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 29, 2012 at 9:37 pm

I'm guessing they expect to win the battle, leaving the Xtards in the familiar position of being (a) puzzled, (b) disappointed, and (c) making plans for the next millenium.

These people have taken the science of slow learning and, well, made a religion out of it.

C_R_Eature March 29, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Yup. That's pretty much it.

The End of The World is Nigh Postponed.

The all time champions of Slow Learning, Not learning and Refusal to Consider learning.

Negropolis March 29, 2012 at 10:44 pm

I honestly wish I coulsay that I belive the answer to that is an unequivaical "yes", but I can't. the power structure of both countries are always pushing right up to war for whatever reason, and the two don't care about the motives of one another so long as they benefit individually. Israel's power structure seems to not have any qualms about aligning itself with Christian dominionist so long as they get something out of it. Any stick to beat a horse, I guess. I feel bad for the Israeli people, because tall they want is what anyone else wants.

C_R_Eature March 29, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Yeah, I'm pretty cynical about the prospects for peace in the region any time soon. I've seen all the parties dance up to the finish line, only to be dragged back by radicals, too many times.

There's no doubt that the Likudniks have worked the US very cleverly, allowing them almost free reign in the neighborhood. I think, though that even Benjamin Netanyahu is beginning to realize how much of a destabilizing force the Settlers and the End-Times Christian Religious Fanatics are.

Really, taking their money and letting them strong-arm US Politicos is all well and good, but having to deal with these people running around stirring up fear, hatred and unrest has got to be too much to cope with.

I honestly don't know how Biel_ze_Bubba puts up with having so many of them around.

MosesInvests March 29, 2012 at 11:43 pm

Yes, we do.

C_R_Eature March 30, 2012 at 12:38 am

I'll bet you do.

Attila_T_Hun March 29, 2012 at 7:55 pm

We may have to destroy Israel in order to save it, just as we did in Viet Nam.

FROTHY March 29, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Allen West is very familiar with that line of thought.

flamingpdog March 29, 2012 at 9:12 pm

I'm sure the Israeli's look forward to a future of working in factories for 35 cents a day at the age of 12.

Wile E. Quixote March 29, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Can we start a "Send Allen West a Hoodie" campaign?

C_R_Eature March 29, 2012 at 8:03 pm

I'd like to send ol' Allan a Red Shirt.

flamingpdog March 29, 2012 at 9:13 pm

I think his closet is already full of brown shirts.

C_R_Eature March 29, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Well, that's just too bad, because I'm sure that This will fit.

Fukui-sanYesOta March 29, 2012 at 8:47 pm

It might work better than Debbie Wasserman-Schultz's "Send Allen West a Clue" mission.

extreme_left March 30, 2012 at 1:19 am

as long as we get to smear tortoise semen in the hood

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 29, 2012 at 8:02 pm

I forget, is it the Jews with the horns that are the peaceniks? Or the ones with the stripes?

extreme_left March 30, 2012 at 1:21 am

i think it's the ones with the long hair

Blueb4sunrise March 29, 2012 at 8:05 pm

I got nuthin…..ummmm…
Blintz!!!

Biel_ze_Bubba March 29, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Silly rabbit. Blintz are for yids!

MosesInvests March 29, 2012 at 11:45 pm

Knaidlach! Kishke, also, too.

rocktonsam March 29, 2012 at 8:06 pm

I'm Lutheran so I don't understand any of this.

gout March 29, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Sometimes after a drink or seven or eight I write stuff on facebook and later realize that somebody could take it in a way that is really offensive rather than the clever and humorous way I intended it. I bet Allen West is just starting to realize that…oh right, never mind.

Antispandex March 29, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Allen West…didn't he play Batman in the 60's? No? Oh well, he sounds like he's what my Jewish babysitter used to call an asshole. Well, there was a better sounding yiddish word, but I forget.

MosesInvests March 29, 2012 at 11:46 pm

Paskudniak.

randcoolcatdaddy March 29, 2012 at 8:13 pm

A blog post about war that doesn't mention John Bolton? I'm shocked!

HistoriCat March 29, 2012 at 10:54 pm

John Bolton is writing a 10 page love letter to Allen West as I type this.

stncmchnc March 29, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Didn't Ali knock this guy out back in the sixties?

Sharkey March 29, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Ali V. Predator… 1989 as I recall…

Tundra Grifter March 29, 2012 at 8:39 pm

Kugel? Is that the exercise for sexy time?

Limeylizzie March 29, 2012 at 8:47 pm

Has anyone said "Schwarze Kunt" yet?

Negropolis March 29, 2012 at 10:47 pm

God, I hope not, Lizzie.

HippieEsq March 30, 2012 at 11:15 am

Too late. that was the nicest yiddish out of my dad's mouth this morning.

Limeylizzie March 29, 2012 at 8:51 pm

I wish this Jew would kick his ass.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001433/bio

MosesInvests March 29, 2012 at 11:48 pm

He's an MOT? Cool, thanks for the info, Lizzie!

HippieEsq March 30, 2012 at 5:17 am

He'll have get to get in line.

MoeDeLawn March 30, 2012 at 9:24 am

Well, this explains how he was so good at portraying an Italian in "Homicide"…

Designer_Rants March 29, 2012 at 9:19 pm

When I ask them how does one negotiate with leaders who do not even recognize your existence, they respond with, you have to believe in them.

Whaa? Wingnuts aren't just blindly believing in things anymore? Teaparty Jesus is not impressed.

owhatever March 29, 2012 at 9:33 pm

When Jews die, Mitt will have them re-baptized as Mormons, and Mister West can dance the dance of love. Which makes me wonder why the evangelicals are still Republicans. Catholic-man Santorum says they are not Christian enough, and Romney's desert tribe says their baptisms have to have a do-over.

Steverino247 March 29, 2012 at 9:42 pm

If I was a dickhead…

CthuNHu March 29, 2012 at 10:44 pm

If I was a gutter-dwelling sadistic Nazi leprous pederast dickhead…or if I was Allen West's superior in every way…. but I repeat myself….

elviouslyqueer March 29, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Oy Allen! Your schlocky dreck isn't worth bupkis, you chozzerai meshuggener mamzer.

MosesInvests March 29, 2012 at 11:50 pm

EQ-love your posts, but please, let me correct your Yiddish. "Chozzeirischer meshuggener mamzer".

flamingpdog March 29, 2012 at 9:55 pm

So, it looks like I got here too late for the poo picture again.

flamingpdog March 29, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Allen West:I ain’t suicidal.

Even the great Allen West is flawed.

Negropolis March 29, 2012 at 10:12 pm

I honestly don't know what to say. Allen West is a bigot's bigot.

fuflans March 29, 2012 at 11:06 pm

here is a republican primary song:

Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
Make me a match,
Find me a find,
catch me a catch
Matchmaker, Matchmaker
Look through your book,
And make me a perfect match

stanpan March 30, 2012 at 11:18 am

Then West leads the chorus in a rousing version of "Rendition!".

WonkCynic March 30, 2012 at 1:02 am

Survey:

Which head nigra in charge is the bigger Uncle Tom Zionist schill?

A. Allen West
B. Barry Soetoro
C. Al Sharpton
D. Jay Z

You don't have to answer. Hell, You don't even need to approve the comment.

jakegittes April 1, 2012 at 9:10 am

What's yer fuckin' problem?

HippieEsq March 30, 2012 at 4:47 am

As a Jew, a Washingtonian, and a Wonk, the only shock I feel at the moment is that it took Allen West this long to correct me for being a suicidal idiot.

If J Street is "Pro Palestinian" then the Kadima Party is Hezzbolah.

DahBoner March 30, 2012 at 7:40 am

socialism and kugels

So the Jews have Free Healthcare and tight twats?

Thedongsofwar March 30, 2012 at 8:27 am

…thanks?

swordfis March 30, 2012 at 8:44 am

I'm so honored that a psychopathic idiot is so fond of us that he is willing to deny the stated policy of the Israeli government (2-state solution) in order to rescue us from our own cowardice. Why isn't he in prison for war crimes? Anyone know?

elburritodeluxe March 30, 2012 at 9:40 am

Just like Iran realizes that Israel has hundreds of nuclear weapons pointed at them.

Deportably_Jose March 31, 2012 at 1:00 am
When I ask them how does one negotiate with leaders who do not even recognize your existence, they respond with, you have to believe in them

Good question, Allen; how indeed? I know: let's ask Republican presidential candidate, Newt Gingrich:

"I think that we've had an invented Palestinian people who are in fact Arabs and who were historically part of the Arab community. And they had a chance to go many places, and for a variety of political reasons we have sustained this war against Israel now since the 1940s, and it's tragic,"

FROTHY March 29, 2012 at 11:26 pm

Is the Indian government paying for THOSE TOO? Because I want starring roles in that film for all my Indian friends, then.

FROTHY March 29, 2012 at 11:35 pm

You're very welcome. Srsly.

LesBontemps March 30, 2012 at 9:06 am

You'd be surprised how often that works around here. When all is said and done, Philly actually operates very much like a small town.

Oh, and everyone knows Loraine Ballard.

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