YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME  12:12 pm March 29, 2012

Snot-Nosed South Carolina State Rep. Proves You Must Stop Electing These Whippersnappers

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

What, me worry?Millennials! First they shit all over your dress code and then when you call them on it they huff off in a snit and then they make up a bunch of unbelievable nonsense about why they didn’t show up to work for two months and then when you’re all “Hi, Republican state Rep. Eric Bikas, will you be joining us in the workplace?” they’re all “FUCK YOU OLD MAN, I ANSWER TO MY CONSTITUENTS, NOT TO YOU!” Ask any HR rep; kids in their 20s do not think anyone should be the boss of them ever. (Also, their moms come with them to the job interview.) (Also, Your Wonkette knows a Millennial who declined to show up on the first day of a $40,000/year job, because it would have required the wearing of pants.)

The Easley Patch provides a long and very detailed account of Young Bikas’s confusion, but boiled down it seems to come to: he was wearing khakis and tennies instead of the requisite suit and tie and so was asked to go home and put on togs more suited to the chamber’s decorum., and he took that as a sign that he had been fired. [Bikas's blather about committee assignments and redistricting omitted for you, our beloved Reader.]

[House spokesman Greg] Foster said the Speaker has attempted to contact [Bikas] at least twice since then and had been unable to reach him.

Bikas said he has sought legal counsel, but at this point just doesn’t know where to turn.

“For the past six weeks, I’ve been trying to figure out if I am a legislator or not,” Bikas said. “I’ve been writing down dates that things happened and put it into perspective.”

Bikas, who is still being paid for his in-district work, said he feels badly for his constituents. He said they voted him in to fight for less government spending, which is what he was trying to do when he was asked to leave.

Dudes, best part:

“I run small businesses,” Bikas said.

Presumably, a paper route. [Easley Patch, via HuffPo]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 234 comments }

Biff March 29, 2012 at 12:16 pm

YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!

actor212 March 29, 2012 at 12:25 pm

I would love a no-show job like that: get elected, get a paycheck, never show up…must be a Congressman in training!

WunkRocker March 29, 2012 at 12:34 pm

He was ON THE APPALACHIAN TRAIL.

Not_So_Much March 29, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Doubt it — that mug screams "VIRGIN!"

WunkRocker March 29, 2012 at 12:51 pm

That's the kicker, was. actually. on. the. trail.

Biff March 29, 2012 at 12:38 pm

I finally got that dream job, but it doesn't pay anything. Like, literally, nothing.

MMathS March 29, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Holy diastema Batman!

PubOption March 29, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Did he buy his Khaki's at The Gap?

Baconzgood March 29, 2012 at 12:18 pm

GET OFF MY LAWN!

Barb March 29, 2012 at 12:18 pm

If the dress code called for culottes, I bet he has plenty in his closet.

actor212 March 29, 2012 at 12:26 pm

He calls them "board shorts"

Chichikovovich March 29, 2012 at 1:01 pm

And appropriately enough, he was elected by a mob of right-wing sans-culottes.

HippieEsq March 30, 2012 at 11:06 am

March 30, 2012. The day I learned how to spell "culottes".

elviouslyqueer March 29, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Buck-toothed scrotum says what now?

Boojum March 29, 2012 at 1:07 pm

You know, it is wrong to judge from appearances, but that boy has a eminently punchable face. Under the right circumstances, imminently punchable as well.

ifthethunderdontgetya March 29, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Also, their moms come with them to the job interview.

Those sites are blocked at work.
~

DahBoner March 30, 2012 at 8:12 am

#WIN

BigSkullF*ckingDog March 29, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Pants are for looooooosers!

HippieEsq March 30, 2012 at 11:12 am

I dunno. This whole "I hate pants thing" really started with Homer J. Simpson:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zg1AhlnDeFo

Millenials, as always, reveal their lack of innovation.

Baconzgood March 29, 2012 at 12:19 pm

You better calm down or I'm going to turn this Congress around and go back.

UnionAgitator March 29, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Fucking Millennials.

Why do those rat-shit bastards get to live a thousand years?

It fucking sucks!!!
Also unfair.

slithytoves March 29, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Okay – that was just about the funniest thing I read today. Thank you agitator.

UnionAgitator March 29, 2012 at 9:25 pm

You are very welcome slithy.

Thanx 4 making my day :)

Whatever the opposite of a rat-shit bastard is – is you.

WunkRocker March 29, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Wait, they wear shoes in Columbia? Dude THOUGHT he WAS dressing up. Clearly his small business is selling weed. There's no "paper route" for the Dime Trader.

tessiee March 29, 2012 at 5:08 pm

To borrow from Dorothy Parker: "I bet they had to throw him onto his back to put shoes on him".

Biff March 29, 2012 at 12:19 pm

At least he wasn't wearing a hoodie, that shit'll get your ass shot.

ttommyunger March 29, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Get real, Biff; he's white.

Lascauxcaveman March 29, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Bikas said he has sought legal counsel, but at this point just doesn’t know where to turn.

As your attorney, shithead, I suggest Men's Wearhouse. Hell, even Ross is OK if you're kinda broke and the local Goodwill doesn't have any decent suits your size.

flamingpdog March 29, 2012 at 1:05 pm

I'm sorry, but after the Trayvon Martin shooting instance, I'm never buying another suit from that George Zimmer man!!

Generation[redacted] March 29, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Great marketing strategy. Sell suits, and shoot anyone not wearing one.

RadioStalingrad March 29, 2012 at 1:17 pm

I hear Josef A Bank is having a suit sale. This weekend only. Everything in the store 1/2 off. Shirts, shoes, ties, you name it.

MissTaken March 29, 2012 at 1:23 pm

I wonder if anyone has ever actually gone into a Jos. A Bank and actually paid full price for something?

SorosBot March 29, 2012 at 1:37 pm

It's a general rule with clothing stores that you should never pay full price for anything; it'll all be marked at a discount fairly soon.

ALIVE! March 29, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Needz mor shouting, to wit: EVERYTHING in the STORE is HAAAAAALLLLLFFFFF OOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

hagajim March 29, 2012 at 12:20 pm

WTF? Is this kid the dumbest tool ever? I really fear for the future of the country with all of these little toadies running things. But then again, they prolly can't be worse than the current toadies that are running shit into the ground.

WhatTheHolyHeck March 29, 2012 at 12:54 pm

I had no idea it was so simple to oust an elected official by sending them home for a wardrobe infraction.

Quick, make power ties and smug, fascist grimaces violations. We could clean house overnight!

Jukesgrrl March 29, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Plenty of them aren't toadies … but they're Democrats or Occupiers. Not 26-year-old Republicans.

Troubledog March 29, 2012 at 12:21 pm

You know who else made people dress all the same at work? Hitler, that's who.

Lascauxcaveman March 29, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Hitler?

(hey, if you're gonna do it RONG, so am I.)

AlterNewt March 29, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Wait! I know this one..

WunkRocker March 29, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Sounds like Moussolini.

BigSkullF*ckingDog March 29, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Ronald McDonald, Wendy, the burger king and the jack in the box guy?

b[redact]opple March 29, 2012 at 1:07 pm

You are very efficient.

Generation[redacted] March 29, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Also Bond villains with their orange jumpsuits.

Doktor StrangeZoom March 29, 2012 at 1:15 pm
James Michael Curley March 29, 2012 at 2:01 pm

For months after that episode the great Herblock would depict Nixon as a jowely blood hound in that uniform.

BigSkullF*ckingDog March 29, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Willy wonka?

OneDollarJuana March 29, 2012 at 1:29 pm

My priest?

Tundra Grifter March 29, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Mao? And not just at work, either. I'm talking all the fuckin' time!

Jukesgrrl March 29, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Those togs are timeless!! That sleek jacket screams efficiency and takes the pounds off. And those little caps with the Mao pins … so jaunty. Where do you think Calvin Klein got his best ideas?

Tundra Grifter March 29, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Jukes: Unisex, too!

You're probably going to make fun of me, but my Dad brought me back a Mao jacket from China. It's great for travel – looks kinda dressy and has so many pockets you could lose your hand.

Considering so many people fly in pj's and flip-flops, it isn't that hard to look more dressed up than most of the herd. The key – as with business casual – is to make those who really dressed up feel they over did it; and make those who just got up and went to the airport feel badly under dressed.

Jukesgrrl March 30, 2012 at 1:20 am

I was only being partially facetious.The jacket IS well-designed (and, yes, unisex … women do hold up half the sky).Calvin probably did copy it and has made at least part of his fortune off it (irony alert), although his probably aren't as well-made as yours.Not many styles have endured as long as that one has.I'm sure you look swell in it.One of my dear departed friends collected Mao pins and had one of the hats to put them on, so I have only fond memories of that, too.

tessiee March 29, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Ray Kroc, too.

DaRooster March 29, 2012 at 12:22 pm

"But I don't have pants that fit over these diapers. Pass me my bah bah, I need nappy."

Swampgas_Man March 29, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Hell boy, if Dave Ritter can do it, you can!

emmelemm March 29, 2012 at 9:27 pm

"Where's my sippy cup?!"

ManchuCandidate March 29, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Paper Route? Dude can't even keep a schedule so that's out.

Lemonade stand at best.

Biff March 29, 2012 at 12:28 pm

There's always money in the banana stand.

SorosBot March 29, 2012 at 12:40 pm

I'll meet you down at the big yellow joint.

Lascauxcaveman March 29, 2012 at 12:29 pm

His dad pays him $10 for mowing the lawn, is my guess.

DaRooster March 29, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Yeah, but he has learned not to pay him first otherwise he just goes to the show and it never gets done.

(I learned this too)

Fukui-sanYesOta March 29, 2012 at 12:22 pm

He's listed as owner of Aunt Sue's restaurant in Sisterfuck, SC.

So obviously he's an expert at cutting back on government spending, because biscuits.

elviouslyqueer March 29, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Ham biscuits? Lindsey will be right over.

WunkRocker March 29, 2012 at 12:59 pm

aha, see my previous suggestion. Not THAT far from the Appalachian Trail. Now find his Argentine sock puppet he pleasures up in his 'fort.'

glamourdammerung March 29, 2012 at 4:21 pm

And here I thought "ham biscuits" was a euphemism for some kind of depraved sex act.

Barrelhse March 29, 2012 at 3:04 pm

We go there for all our family vacations.

tessiee March 29, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Aunt Sue? Shouldn't that be Aunt Mommy?

Jukesgrrl March 29, 2012 at 7:41 pm

This is no kidding … the only education he lists on his SC official contact page: Orlando Culinary Academy, A.S., 2006. Any guesses on what A.S. stands for? Aunt Sue?

pickletickle March 29, 2012 at 12:22 pm

It's official: ROMNEY/BIKAS 2012

Lascauxcaveman March 29, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Mitt probably has a couple nice suits he can loan the kid.

SYNERGY!

MoeDeLawn March 29, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Mitt knows some people who own suit factories in the Marianas Islands…

WunkRocker March 29, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Bikas/Dikas Cheney 2012

James Michael Curley March 29, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Mitt owns several of the larger Marianas.

Gleem McShineys March 29, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Sister wives?

SexySmurf March 29, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Damn kids today with their iCarly and their shoes with the lights on the back of them. Back in my day we walked to the South Carolina State House ten miles in the snow wearing a suit uphill both ways, and we liked it. It built character.

Boojum March 29, 2012 at 12:45 pm

You got to walk? We had to crawl, through six foot deep snow, backwards! You don't know from character until you've done that!

Dashboard Buddha March 29, 2012 at 12:48 pm

There was 150 of us living in a small shoebox…ah, never mind.

sewollef March 29, 2012 at 1:07 pm

You were lucky, in my day…. etc, etc.

Chet Kincaid March 29, 2012 at 1:07 pm

I wear overused TV comedy references on my belt. It is the style right now.

Lascauxcaveman March 29, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Something something onions something five bees.

SorosBot March 29, 2012 at 12:23 pm

This is South Carolina; of course he didn't expect to have to wear long pants. Or a shirt other than his usual wife beater; or his good false teeth.

Redhead March 29, 2012 at 12:41 pm

I live at the beach (east coast, though not SC) and have been at town meetings where the attorney showed up and the council made him take his tie off, undo the top button or two on his shirt, and roll his sleeves up, telling him to be sure to wear flip flops and shorts next time, "because we're casual here."

SorosBot March 29, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Flip flops? Ugh; sounds like a mandated fashion disaster.

Boojum March 29, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Would you date a man wearing flip flops?

Jukesgrrl March 29, 2012 at 7:43 pm

And the ones who do always have crud on their heels. Yuk.

metamarcisf March 29, 2012 at 12:23 pm

I DO WHAT I WANT !!

DonnyKerabotsos March 29, 2012 at 12:23 pm

You just know that if FOX runs this story they will identify him with a (D).

Baconzgood March 29, 2012 at 12:23 pm

So like dude, am i still, like, a corgress type dude or am I, like, you know, like, not a congressey type dude?

actor212 March 29, 2012 at 12:24 pm

I wanna X-box before I show up!

JerkCade March 29, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Asshole! Actually looking good might work to your advantage!

MissTaken March 29, 2012 at 12:25 pm

(Also, their moms come with them to the job interview.)

See, Soros! You thought I made that story up!

Not only does mommy and daddy escort their child to job interviews for my company but they also call HR to negotiate the salary for their 276 month old baby.

Fukui-sanYesOta March 29, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Wait, that really happens? And they don't get laughed out of the building?

MissTaken March 29, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Yes, it did happen. The one who came to the interview with daddy didn't get an offer (not sure if it was for that reason or something else) but when someone else got an offer their parent called HR asking for a higher salary for their child. HR had to explain to the parent that salary negotiations are between the candidate or someone working on behalf of the candidate (a recruiter) and the company only.

It's tough in the real world for a 23 year old who still doesn't know how to wipe its own ass.

Chichikovovich March 29, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Man, the real world sure has gotten stranger in the 20 years since I retreated to the ivory tower and locked the door behind me.

Though I should have taken the hint about what was happening out there when a student came to argue for a higher grade, not for the reasons that had been usual in the past [was, like, real sick during the midterm/final, did a decent job on the problem set that he was given a zero on because it was handed in three weeks late, well after the solutions had been posted on the course website so really, shouldn't he get some credit for it, observed that student x got an A and everybody knows that student x is a drooling simpleton, etc.] but rather just because he had taken the course in the expectation of getting a better grade.

[No joke: That was his whole plea for mercy. "When I signed up for this course I thought I'd get at least an A-"]

Boojum March 29, 2012 at 1:19 pm

And a trophy.

donner_froh March 29, 2012 at 1:46 pm

I have hired a bunch of people in the past, although these were for graphic arts/printing jobs on second and third shift in Detroit where the applicants were a less dependent on their parents. In one case a young woman's father accompanied her–she was pretty deaf and "listened" to people who didn't know ASL by lipreading and he was concerned there might be communications problems.. There weren't and she aced the mark-up tests and got hired.

Other than that very specific example I wouldn't have even done the interview if a parent showed up expecting to be included.

SorosBot March 29, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Oh of course I believed you; but god what the fuck where any of those people thinking. I'm amazed your company even interviewed that person instead of just telling them to leave when they showed up with the parents.

And these people aren't that much younger than us – how did parenting turn into creating adults who act like spoiled babies in just a decade or so? Hey parents, maybe if you actually let your run around and play by themselves instead of supervising them 24/7 then might actually learn how to take care of themselves.

tessiee March 29, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Forget it. I've had this conversation on multiple occasions. Apparently everybody who had kids after 1990 or so firmly believes that if they let the little fartling out of their sight for a second, a pedophile will materialize out of thin air and eat their kid with ketchup and mustard.

SorosBot March 29, 2012 at 5:53 pm

I blame McGruff, the crime dog myself. Really; when I was a kid we were constantly pounded with ads and school lectures which constantly warned that every adult we didn't know was going to kidnap us. I guess it's not surprising that when people my age started having kids they took that lesson to heart and were paranoid about imaginary threats to the brats.

Jukesgrrl March 29, 2012 at 7:49 pm

My brother's daughter went from Tucson to an international choral competition in Nashville with the three other girls in her singing group when she was 17. Many of his friends were shocked he and his wife didn't follow "to watch her."

commiegirl March 29, 2012 at 11:13 pm

I did a pretty convincing grad school project arguing that the difference is the age of the parents. Since we all put it off forever now, they treat the children like grandchildren. I used the age of mother at birth of child correlated to number of arrests per child. In my family. All the rest of us (there's like 6 of us; blended family) had one. The millennial had 8.

Steverino247 March 29, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Maybe we should have a draft. Try showing up to basic training with your mom and see what happens.

Tundra Grifter March 29, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Mom probably wouldn't make it home for dinner. They'd just draft her ass too and call it a day.

Steverino247 March 29, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Drill instructor might have to verify for himself that the best part of the draftee ran down the crack of his momma's ass.

Advn2rgirl March 30, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Actually, MacArthur's mom went to West Point with him and took a room at the hotel overlooking the parade grounds so she could see him. He and Ulysses S. Grant III got hazed about this, apparently.

tessiee March 29, 2012 at 5:15 pm

During my years working in University administration, I've heard many students say that they HAD to get into law school/med school/business school/whatever, because they needed to make AT LEAST 70K a year when they graduated. I sat there at my desk at my 20K a year job, and because I wished to *keep* said job, I thought, but did not say, "Entry level they never heard of".

Mumbletypeg March 29, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Hang around a little longer, kid. Persistence pays off in the long run. Dress Casual is just gaining momentum in the wider fashion world. By the time you've filled those fogies' shoes, it'll be the Pajama'd leading the Pajama'd, just like Jeebus predicted.

4TheTurnstiles March 29, 2012 at 12:27 pm

I teach these assholes. Most fragile people *ever.*

elviouslyqueer March 29, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Oh yea, and apropos of MissTaken's post, I've also had to deal with helicopter parents who try and bitch at me when their child (in this case, a 19-year-old University sophomore) doesn't do the work, doesn't show up for class, and receives a failing grade.

4TheTurnstiles March 29, 2012 at 12:48 pm

And you can't say a word to them about it anyway because, well, FERPA.

elviouslyqueer March 29, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Thank Dog for FERPA. Still, it didn't matter to parents, especially the ones who got pissed when I automatically flunked their precious little angels for plagiarism. I had one parent threaten to sue me and the University for disallowing a plagiarism-related grade appeal because, you guessed it, "I paid for her tuition, so she deserves to pass this class."

SorosBot March 29, 2012 at 1:06 pm

So this isn't just a brat, but a rich spoiled brat who's parents can pay tuition instead of taking out the usual loads of debt. Sounds like somebody could use a slap in the face.

tessiee March 29, 2012 at 5:21 pm

"I paid for her tuition, so she deserves to pass this class."

Eventually, we'll all stop even pretending that college has anything to do with "education". The students won't have to go to class or do anything — learning only makes a bunch of malcontents out of the labor force anyway — the parents will just pay for a bunch of grades, as out of a vending machine — or maybe they'll just pay the corporations to hire their little shits.

Steverino247 March 29, 2012 at 1:54 pm

I've heard some horror stories about soccer officials vs. soccer moms, but I've not encountered much myself working football for 20 years. I once had a mom run onto the field to complain about the opposing team taunting her son's team. I pulled out one of my hearing aids* and said, "Lady, I got this thing turned up full blast. If there was any taunting going on, I'd hear it." She gave me a disgusted look and walked back to the sidelines.

*Used to be a machine gunner. An awful lot of rounds sent "down range" so my high frequencies are about as shot as the things I was aiming at.

SteveMcCroskey March 29, 2012 at 12:28 pm

All he wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and they wouldn't give it to him. Just a Pepsi.

Baconzgood March 29, 2012 at 12:31 pm

You're on drugs.

WunkRocker March 29, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Too in love with them selves to have Suicidal Tendencies.

commiegirl March 29, 2012 at 12:49 pm

I'm not on drugs, ma! I just want a Pepsi.

Generation[redacted] March 29, 2012 at 1:17 pm

It's okay. He'll probably get hit by a car anyway.

Callyson March 29, 2012 at 12:28 pm

“For the past six weeks, I’ve been trying to figure out if I am a legislator or not,” Bikas said.
Well, his confusion is understandable. I've been spending the last year and a quarter trying to figure out if the idiots and assholes among the Republicans in Congress are legislators or not…

Laissez_Queer March 29, 2012 at 12:30 pm

I'm confused. Is this the Republican Rep. or the rent boy? Both?

Lucidamente1 March 29, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Both. It's called "shrinking the size of government."

Laissez_Queer March 29, 2012 at 12:35 pm

If that boy can lift his own luggage, I think I saw him on cam4. Folds over like a clam shell.

IncenseDebate March 29, 2012 at 12:38 pm

While expanding its reacharound.

OneYieldRegular March 29, 2012 at 12:32 pm

For a few short weeks in Santa Cruz, California, I had a young housemate who'd been unemployed forever, but who finally, miraculously, landed a very nice job. He showed up back at home before noon his first day at work, and when I asked him what happened, he replied, "Ah, man, no way I can work for that place. The conference room in the office has wood paneling made from old-growth redwood."

Biff March 29, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Gotta love a guy with principles, anyway.

Boojum March 29, 2012 at 12:49 pm

If he was homeless, he'd have principles. As it is, sponge.

Lascauxcaveman March 29, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Gotta love a guy that can always find an excuse.

And by 'love' I mean revile, of course.

Steverino247 March 29, 2012 at 1:44 pm

That's when I would introduce some old-growth redwood to the side of his head and throw his ass out on the street.

bikerlaureate March 29, 2012 at 12:33 pm

This level of confusion does indeed signal a bright future in the Grand Old Party.

WunkRocker March 29, 2012 at 12:43 pm

I disagree. just like Dick Cheney or G W Bush. He's a dumb ass that probably cannot run a toilet paper stand in a shit house. But here he's managed to get the gubbmint to pay for clothes he aint even gotta wear to cash a check. Sound familiar?

Boojum March 29, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Lou Sarah! His birth name was Trickle!

WunkRocker March 29, 2012 at 1:36 pm

haha, not thought of that. But damn.

donner_froh March 29, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Glancing through the Easley Patch article–it goes into excruciating detail of what numbnutz said, when and to whom–it looks like the smartest thing that Eric Bikas did was wearing chinos and trainers to work.

He sounds like the ideas of showing up at a certain place and at a certain time, following rules and having a boss are completely foreign to him.

MissTaken March 29, 2012 at 12:38 pm

We have kids who think that showing up on time and doing the work they were assigned to do and nothing more qualifies them for a bonus at the end of the year. No, dipshit, that's what your salary is for.

PubOption March 29, 2012 at 1:24 pm

We had one 'worker' who would regularly come in between 30 and 60 minutes late. He had trouble understanding that he might get in on time if he left home a little earlier.

WunkRocker March 29, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I had some little shetbag intern from the Mayor's something something taskforce. "Oh he's got a straight A average and is in all honors classes."
Showed up 3 hours late. Did not know what he was supposed to do despite me having 3 guarantees that this had been explained to him. When I went through it for the fourth time he failed miserably. Gave him a task, he chose to do something time consuming but useless collecting web addresses of other local governments. After he finished, I turned the page in his written instructions and showed him where these were already done and he just did not give a fuck. Why the fuck Zimmerman couldn't shoot this tool instead is a mystery of life. I'll probably end up working for him.

GOPCrusher March 29, 2012 at 4:42 pm

I think I worked with that guy. I drove a half hour to work and get there a half hour early. He lived 5 minutes away and show up a half hour late, every day. When the boss finally blew a gasket over it, he just stood there and looked confused as to what the problem was.

HistoriCat March 29, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Don't be so hasty – that kind of attitude just screams "future CEO".

johnnymeatworth March 29, 2012 at 12:36 pm

To be fair, the reason he didn't wear his suit was because his mother had drooled pre-chewed food all over it when feeding him.

comrad_darkness March 29, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I think that's the grossest comment I've upfisted ever.

SexySmurf March 29, 2012 at 12:36 pm

For the past six weeks, I’ve been trying to figure out if I am a legislator or not

Like all people in his 20s, he's just trying to find himself. Yesterday he was a legislator, today he's a vegan Buddhist, and tomorrow he'll be in his punk phase listening to a lot of Avril Lavigne.

Laissez_Queer March 29, 2012 at 12:39 pm

The day after that serving Santorum ham biscuits in the nude at C Street.

SorosBot March 29, 2012 at 12:58 pm

I think you mean "punk" phase, Avril Lavigne (along with Green Day) is about as genuine punk rock as Barry Manilow.

BigSkullF*ckingDog March 29, 2012 at 1:04 pm

I concur. Avril Lavigne wouldn't know a punk if one punched her in the face. And I hope they do.

Boojum March 29, 2012 at 1:25 pm

That wouldn't help, as too many people of all kinds want to punch her in the face. Including the Buddhist.

GOPCrusher March 29, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Actually, I think Buddhists would rather soak her in gas and light a match.

comrad_darkness March 29, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Isn't this the state that celebrates legislators clubbing opposing legislators nearly to death? How in the hell could he imagine he's no longer a rep because of one incident with chinos?

Redhead March 29, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Get off mah lawn!

north_of_moscow March 29, 2012 at 12:38 pm

You're young and you got your health. What do you want with a job?

Fukui-sanYesOta March 29, 2012 at 12:43 pm

He probably just wanted the health insurance. Also, he's still getting paid (wtf?)

GOPCrusher March 29, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Retirement is wasted on old people.

commiegirl March 29, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Dude, no it's not. I was retired for the last three years. Fuck that shit, never again.

Angry_Marmot March 30, 2012 at 3:46 am

Damnit, H.I., the sun don't rise and set on the corner grocery.

anniegetyerfun March 29, 2012 at 12:39 pm

I seriously have no idea what happened here. Is this one of those #firstworldproblems things?

Pres.Beeblebrox March 29, 2012 at 12:42 pm

The gentleman will SUSPEND! Rule CCCXVIII, Clause MCMXLVI prohibits the wearing of anything but Nixon Youth garb in the chamber.

Blueb4sunrise March 29, 2012 at 12:43 pm

So I take it that his clothing choices weren't some social statement about the oppression of the white male.

metamarcisf March 29, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Yeah, this guy runs small businesses. Into the ground.

teebob2000 March 29, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Punchline is in the last line in the story.

"Bikas said he will not seek reelection."

Generation[redacted] March 29, 2012 at 1:20 pm

I hope his parents haven't already converted his old room into a solarium.

Swampgas_Man March 29, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Damn, and I had the perfect slogan for his opponent: "I have pants."

Dashboard Buddha March 29, 2012 at 12:47 pm

"Ohhh…poor baby. Come to mama. Mama make it all better."

HistoriCat March 29, 2012 at 2:33 pm

"It's better than mangoes!"

ph7 March 29, 2012 at 12:49 pm

His business: Bikas Drive Inn Restaurant. A review:

I just visited the Bikas Drive In on my lunch hour, got back to work with my food, and opened it to discover they had given me the wrong order. I called the restaurant and told them what had happened and was asked if I wanted to come back, and I replied "No". They person I spoke with then told me he was sorry that they had messed up my order. I asked if that was all he was offering was an apology, and he said, "Well, you don't want to come back?" So I did go back – and got my money back. I will not be returning again. Bikas Family Restaurant has a lot to learn about customer service and keeping the customer happy.

Rep. Eric Bikas however, gave his restaurant an excellent review

MissTaken March 29, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Well, your first love is self love.

Preferred Customer March 29, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Someone on urbanspoon sums it up with this cryptic but entirely predictable warning:

"Whatever else you do here, don't use the bathrooms."
http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/158/1644807/restauran

Fukui-sanYesOta March 29, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Hey, he really is a Republican!

teebob2000 March 30, 2012 at 9:44 am

Exactly. We can assume you'll be harassed by the closeted gay Republican in the next stall, who also happens to be the owner.

WunkRocker March 29, 2012 at 1:47 pm

So wanted to leave a review but got my pw's for UrpanSpoon and UrbanPoon confused.

donner_froh March 29, 2012 at 1:57 pm

One can cast a like/dislike vote on that site without registering. So I did.

Jus_Wonderin March 29, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Rep. Eric Bikas is a dumbass.

Dashboard Buddha March 29, 2012 at 12:50 pm

They should just let him wear his Heelys and be done with it.

freakishlywrong March 29, 2012 at 12:50 pm

The real news here, is that there is decorum in the house.

Boojum March 29, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Was that "dec" or "sant"? Because it might make a difference.

el_donaldo March 29, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Bonghits. That's what this is really about. Legislating tends to interfere with the regular taking of them.

ChrisM2011 March 29, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Michael Cera's filled out!

Sue4466 March 29, 2012 at 12:53 pm

He says he's not seeking re-election. Is that because he knows he's been a miserable failure or because he has no idea how this re-election thingamajig works?

__kth__ March 29, 2012 at 12:53 pm

So much ignorance, both of SC law (I'd feel safe betting that the Speaker can't arbitrarily expel members on a whim, sartorial or otherwise; at any rate, it wouldn't be hard for him to determine for sure) and of tradition (had he never been to the state assembly? or did he not notice how all of them were dressed?). What a disappointment for the TEA party he must be, what with their reverence for the law and tradition.

Jus_Wonderin March 29, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Is it a coincidence that Aaron Schock has been missing for the same amount of time?

mavenmaven March 29, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I suppose his not showing up by definition means government is now a bit smaller.

WiscDad March 29, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Holy FUCK Batman!!!!

Boojum March 29, 2012 at 12:57 pm

“I run small businesses,” Bikas said.

"into the ground," he added.

Goonemeritus March 29, 2012 at 12:59 pm

My generation brought up that generation the way we did so we would always have jobs.

Jus_Wonderin March 29, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Almost seems we could have an extra job too, in Young Adult Daycare.

SnarkoMarx March 29, 2012 at 1:00 pm

"Your Wonkette knows a Millennial who declined to show up on the first day of a $40,000/year job, because it would have required the wearing of pants."

Most $40K jobs nowadays require the removal of your pants.

spareme March 29, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Mymymy, what are they teaching in home-school these days?

Chet Kincaid March 29, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Woody from Cheers is a state legislator now?

SorosBot March 29, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Well remember he was elected to city council shortly before the finale, so he easily could be by now.

ttommyunger March 29, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Well, he DOES have a purty mouth, in a hare-lipped sort of way… I 'spect Miss Lindsay Graham will be dropping by the restaurant to sample some of his ham biscuits one of these days…..

poorgradstudent March 29, 2012 at 1:03 pm

I dunno, for every article I read about Millennials being the most emotionally needy and overprivileged generation in history I read something else about how they're more involved with charity, more socially conscious, etc., etc.

So yeah I think it's a more a "South Carolina" thing than a Millennial thing.

gurukalehuru March 29, 2012 at 1:05 pm

“For the past six weeks, I’ve been trying to figure out if I am a legislator or not,”

Meanwhile, OJ is still searching for Nicole and Ron's killer.

Generation[redacted] March 29, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Your Wonkette knows a Millennial who declined to show up on the first day of a $40,000/year job, because it would have required the wearing of pants.

The next Steve Jobs?

Chet Kincaid March 29, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Was he a charismatic asshole? Was everyone he met either a "genius" or a "bozo"?

widestanceromance March 29, 2012 at 1:13 pm

SNAM = spay and neuter all Millennials.

Chichikovovich March 29, 2012 at 1:13 pm

knows a Millennial who declined to show up on the first day of a $40,000/year job, because it would have required the wearing of pants.

Well, I think he should be commended for not giving up his dream of porn-stud stardom. Youth is when you should reach for the stars

Mumbletypeg March 29, 2012 at 1:19 pm

His peers think this is bad? Wait'll they see what he's been scrawling on his desk during sessions when he's bored.

RadioStalingrad March 29, 2012 at 1:20 pm

It's prounounced: Bike Ass.

bauserdotcom March 29, 2012 at 1:25 pm

This guy got in trouble for wearing tennis shoes? He's so dumb, I'm surprised he can tie his shoes.

HistoriCat March 29, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Velcro, baby!

Blueb4sunrise March 29, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Obviously, Eric needs to poop.

Toomush_Infer March 29, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Envisioning him being repulsed from the floor and torn between:

"You'll have to leave." – "Where should I go?"

"You'll have to leave." – "Fine. I don't need anything – except this lamp. Nothing, just the lamp – and…."

owhatever March 29, 2012 at 1:43 pm

If he is not appropriately dressed in a white robe and pointy hood, he ain't entering the hallowed halls of the South Carolina legislature. (Rule Section C, sub-section LX, paragraph 3, sentence b, line 47.)

MozakiBlocks March 29, 2012 at 1:44 pm

In my previous, previous job, I had the glorious opportunity to interview several youngsters in their twenties for entry level sales positions at the company. And it took all the self-control I had sometimes, not to lean across the table, grab one of them by their shirts and yell "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

The sense of entitlement was astounding…

clblabin March 29, 2012 at 1:53 pm

So, millenials suck, old people suck, and the middle-aged suck most of all. Maybe we should give this whole "personhood" thing a shot; zygotes can't do any worse.

widestanceromance March 29, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Once upon a time, I was interviewing a Millennial, and they asked what sort of travel opportunities the position offered. The position was as the second proofreader to me, reading ad copy. Job description is sitting at a desk and reading ad copy (and commenting at Wonkette from time to time).

I calmly looked her in the eye and said, "We only get an hour for lunch, so it's best not to travel too far." Her expression was less than pleased, but as the question was so absurd, all I could do was to stare emotionless back at her.

emmelemm March 29, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Seriously, though: You are possessed with a razor sharp wit. Most people would have just shaken their heads, or stared with their mouths open.

dinkybossetti March 29, 2012 at 2:09 pm

This post is doing nothing to assuage my unreasonable fear of one day having to interview replacements when one of my minions quits.

BarackMyWorld March 29, 2012 at 2:12 pm

“For the past six weeks, I’ve been trying to figure out if I am a legislator or not,” Bikas said.

What do YOU think, Antoine?

Tundra Grifter March 29, 2012 at 2:14 pm

So ya let the young folks dress however they want, and they seem to always pick blue pants and a black sweater over a t-shirt and flip flops unless it's like zero degrees outside and then they might struggle into some tennies.

Then someone has the bright idea of "business casual" on Fridays and people start showing up in their pjs and bunny slipper and wonder what's wrong with that?

They all pretty much dress the same way to stress their independence.

rickmaci March 29, 2012 at 2:28 pm

In another day, the meme for a young and idealistic guy getting elected to office would be that it's like a Mr. Smith Goes to Washington deal. This is like a bad comedy movie: "Billy Madison Gets Elected."

Ruhe March 29, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Simply a case of the wrong trousers.

pdiddycornchips March 29, 2012 at 2:43 pm

He thinks he was fired but he's not sure. He presumably cashes his paychecks right? If he's there to stop government spending, shouldn't he send the money back?

Swampgas_Man March 29, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Wait — Commiegirl, you say there's a $40,000 a year job sitting out there? And me unemployed?

commiegirl March 29, 2012 at 11:22 pm

Well, there was one two years ago. It was at a thing called "MySpace."

meatpuppet2 March 29, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Well ya know voters get the representatives they deserve and all that.

Naked_Bunny March 29, 2012 at 3:05 pm

I thought President Clinton made it okay to not wear pants at work.

Fare la Volpe March 29, 2012 at 3:34 pm

I really didn't expect so many Wonketteers to have suddenly aged 40 years in the span of an hour. Do you keep your butterscotch candies in the same pocket you store your Jitterbug? Those big buttons can be so hard to see without your bifocals.

HarryButtle March 29, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Dude's obviously a fucking lifer, the Strom Thurmond of his generation. What the hell else is he qualified to do?

tessiee March 29, 2012 at 5:07 pm

"he was wearing khakis and tennies instead of the requisite suit and tie and so was asked to go home and put on togs more suited to the chamber’s decorum"

It's Sacralonna, for shit's sake: "formal" means a shirt under your bib-alls.

Millennial Malaise March 29, 2012 at 5:53 pm

"I resemble that post"

Actually, I don't. I would gladly go to work in nice clothes. It just so happens that my current shitty wage (without benefits OR a contract, hooray for freelancing!) means no disposable income, which means wearing ripped jeans to work (in the crotchal region, so it's sexy), which means one pair of sneakers a season, which means no rotation of cute jackets (same winter coat 2 years running!) which means really taking care of that blazer I got from JCrew 3 years ago, which I pair with the jeans to make them look like less raggedy.

If this sounds like whining, that's because it is. I honestly don't know how to do anything else.

commiegirl March 29, 2012 at 11:16 pm

It's not you, Malaise. It's them!

Wile E. Quixote March 29, 2012 at 7:30 pm

He's lucky he didn't show up wearing a hoodie, South Carolina has a "stand your ground" law.

Negropolis March 30, 2012 at 1:11 am

You all must excuse this young man. This is South Carolina, after all, where "No shoes, now shirt, YES! Service!" is the norm.

Talkin' 'bout my generation, indeed!

WonkCynic March 30, 2012 at 1:42 am

It's South Carolina. He's probably been at Jesus Camp for the past two months…or down in Buenos Aires bangin' the Argentinian journalist broads.

Boojum March 29, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Mumble olds, fart.

Toomush_Infer March 29, 2012 at 1:29 pm

"Loud shouty noises…."

Boojum March 29, 2012 at 1:21 pm

"Yes, and I taught the little bitch, so I deserve to punch her in the throat."

GOPCrusher March 29, 2012 at 4:38 pm

A future Republiklan.

Swampgas_Man March 29, 2012 at 2:34 pm

"Is JAG on yet?"

doloras March 29, 2012 at 3:51 pm

MATLOCK!!!

GOPCrusher March 29, 2012 at 4:34 pm

I'm going to Denny's. I don't like driving after it gets dark.

Jukesgrrl March 29, 2012 at 7:42 pm

They can help him with wardrobe.

DahBoner March 30, 2012 at 8:15 am

You have dark?

Why when I was a kid, we had to live on the sun.

With no singlasses…

Tundra Grifter March 30, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Jukes:

So, would you stil consider those fashion designs to have been Revolutionary? Or does that sound too T-Bagger these days – white whigs and tri-cornered hats and all.

For those of us of a certain age, there will only be one Calvin Klein design – worn by a topless Brook Shields as she purr'd about her jeans…

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: