you are not the boss of me

Snot-Nosed South Carolina State Rep. Proves You Must Stop Electing These Whippersnappers

What, me worry?Millennials! First they shit all over your dress code and then when you call them on it they huff off in a snit and then they make up a bunch of unbelievable nonsense about why they didn’t show up to work for two months and then when you’re all “Hi, Republican state Rep. Eric Bikas, will you be joining us in the workplace?” they’re all “FUCK YOU OLD MAN, I ANSWER TO MY CONSTITUENTS, NOT TO YOU!” Ask any HR rep; kids in their 20s do not think anyone should be the boss of them ever. (Also, their moms come with them to the job interview.) (Also, Your Wonkette knows a Millennial who declined to show up on the first day of a $40,000/year job, because it would have required the wearing of pants.)

The Easley Patch provides a long and very detailed account of Young Bikas’s confusion, but boiled down it seems to come to: he was wearing khakis and tennies instead of the requisite suit and tie and so was asked to go home and put on togs more suited to the chamber’s decorum., and he took that as a sign that he had been fired. [Bikas's blather about committee assignments and redistricting omitted for you, our beloved Reader.]

[House spokesman Greg] Foster said the Speaker has attempted to contact [Bikas] at least twice since then and had been unable to reach him.

Bikas said he has sought legal counsel, but at this point just doesn’t know where to turn.

Related video

“For the past six weeks, I’ve been trying to figure out if I am a legislator or not,” Bikas said. “I’ve been writing down dates that things happened and put it into perspective.”

Bikas, who is still being paid for his in-district work, said he feels badly for his constituents. He said they voted him in to fight for less government spending, which is what he was trying to do when he was asked to leave.

Dudes, best part:

“I run small businesses,” Bikas said.

Presumably, a paper route. [Easley Patch, via HuffPo]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

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234 comments

    1. Boojum

      You know, it is wrong to judge from appearances, but that boy has a eminently punchable face. Under the right circumstances, imminently punchable as well.

  1. WunkRocker

    Wait, they wear shoes in Columbia? Dude THOUGHT he WAS dressing up. Clearly his small business is selling weed. There's no "paper route" for the Dime Trader.

    1. tessiee

      To borrow from Dorothy Parker: "I bet they had to throw him onto his back to put shoes on him".

  2. Lascauxcaveman

    Bikas said he has sought legal counsel, but at this point just doesn’t know where to turn.

    As your attorney, shithead, I suggest Men's Wearhouse. Hell, even Ross is OK if you're kinda broke and the local Goodwill doesn't have any decent suits your size.

    1. RadioStalingrad

      I hear Josef A Bank is having a suit sale. This weekend only. Everything in the store 1/2 off. Shirts, shoes, ties, you name it.

      1. MissTaken

        I wonder if anyone has ever actually gone into a Jos. A Bank and actually paid full price for something?

        1. SorosBot

          It's a general rule with clothing stores that you should never pay full price for anything; it'll all be marked at a discount fairly soon.

      2. ALIVE!

        Needz mor shouting, to wit: EVERYTHING in the STORE is HAAAAAALLLLLFFFFF OOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

  3. hagajim

    WTF? Is this kid the dumbest tool ever? I really fear for the future of the country with all of these little toadies running things. But then again, they prolly can't be worse than the current toadies that are running shit into the ground.

    1. WhatTheHolyHeck

      I had no idea it was so simple to oust an elected official by sending them home for a wardrobe infraction.

      Quick, make power ties and smug, fascist grimaces violations. We could clean house overnight!

      1. James Michael Curley

        For months after that episode the great Herblock would depict Nixon as a jowely blood hound in that uniform.

      1. Jukesgrrl

        Those togs are timeless!! That sleek jacket screams efficiency and takes the pounds off. And those little caps with the Mao pins … so jaunty. Where do you think Calvin Klein got his best ideas?

        1. Tundra Grifter

          Jukes: Unisex, too!

          You're probably going to make fun of me, but my Dad brought me back a Mao jacket from China. It's great for travel – looks kinda dressy and has so many pockets you could lose your hand.

          Considering so many people fly in pj's and flip-flops, it isn't that hard to look more dressed up than most of the herd. The key – as with business casual – is to make those who really dressed up feel they over did it; and make those who just got up and went to the airport feel badly under dressed.

          1. Jukesgrrl

            I was only being partially facetious.The jacket IS well-designed (and, yes, unisex … women do hold up half the sky).Calvin probably did copy it and has made at least part of his fortune off it (irony alert), although his probably aren't as well-made as yours.Not many styles have endured as long as that one has.I'm sure you look swell in it.One of my dear departed friends collected Mao pins and had one of the hats to put them on, so I have only fond memories of that, too.

          2. Tundra Grifter

            Jukes:

            So, would you stil consider those fashion designs to have been Revolutionary? Or does that sound too T-Bagger these days – white whigs and tri-cornered hats and all.

            For those of us of a certain age, there will only be one Calvin Klein design – worn by a topless Brook Shields as she purr'd about her jeans…

      1. DaRooster

        Yeah, but he has learned not to pay him first otherwise he just goes to the show and it never gets done.

        (I learned this too)

  4. Fukui-sanYesOta

    He's listed as owner of Aunt Sue's restaurant in Sisterfuck, SC.

    So obviously he's an expert at cutting back on government spending, because biscuits.

      1. WunkRocker

        aha, see my previous suggestion. Not THAT far from the Appalachian Trail. Now find his Argentine sock puppet he pleasures up in his 'fort.'

    1. Jukesgrrl

      This is no kidding … the only education he lists on his SC official contact page: Orlando Culinary Academy, A.S., 2006. Any guesses on what A.S. stands for? Aunt Sue?

  5. SexySmurf

    Damn kids today with their iCarly and their shoes with the lights on the back of them. Back in my day we walked to the South Carolina State House ten miles in the snow wearing a suit uphill both ways, and we liked it. It built character.

    1. Boojum

      You got to walk? We had to crawl, through six foot deep snow, backwards! You don't know from character until you've done that!

  6. SorosBot

    This is South Carolina; of course he didn't expect to have to wear long pants. Or a shirt other than his usual wife beater; or his good false teeth.

    1. Redhead

      I live at the beach (east coast, though not SC) and have been at town meetings where the attorney showed up and the council made him take his tie off, undo the top button or two on his shirt, and roll his sleeves up, telling him to be sure to wear flip flops and shorts next time, "because we're casual here."

  7. Baconzgood

    So like dude, am i still, like, a corgress type dude or am I, like, you know, like, not a congressey type dude?

  8. MissTaken

    (Also, their moms come with them to the job interview.)

    See, Soros! You thought I made that story up!

    Not only does mommy and daddy escort their child to job interviews for my company but they also call HR to negotiate the salary for their 276 month old baby.

      1. MissTaken

        Yes, it did happen. The one who came to the interview with daddy didn't get an offer (not sure if it was for that reason or something else) but when someone else got an offer their parent called HR asking for a higher salary for their child. HR had to explain to the parent that salary negotiations are between the candidate or someone working on behalf of the candidate (a recruiter) and the company only.

        It's tough in the real world for a 23 year old who still doesn't know how to wipe its own ass.

        1. Chichikovovich

          Man, the real world sure has gotten stranger in the 20 years since I retreated to the ivory tower and locked the door behind me.

          Though I should have taken the hint about what was happening out there when a student came to argue for a higher grade, not for the reasons that had been usual in the past [was, like, real sick during the midterm/final, did a decent job on the problem set that he was given a zero on because it was handed in three weeks late, well after the solutions had been posted on the course website so really, shouldn't he get some credit for it, observed that student x got an A and everybody knows that student x is a drooling simpleton, etc.] but rather just because he had taken the course in the expectation of getting a better grade.

          [No joke: That was his whole plea for mercy. "When I signed up for this course I thought I'd get at least an A-"]

        2. donner_froh

          I have hired a bunch of people in the past, although these were for graphic arts/printing jobs on second and third shift in Detroit where the applicants were a less dependent on their parents. In one case a young woman's father accompanied her–she was pretty deaf and "listened" to people who didn't know ASL by lipreading and he was concerned there might be communications problems.. There weren't and she aced the mark-up tests and got hired.

          Other than that very specific example I wouldn't have even done the interview if a parent showed up expecting to be included.

    1. SorosBot

      Oh of course I believed you; but god what the fuck where any of those people thinking. I'm amazed your company even interviewed that person instead of just telling them to leave when they showed up with the parents.

      And these people aren't that much younger than us – how did parenting turn into creating adults who act like spoiled babies in just a decade or so? Hey parents, maybe if you actually let your run around and play by themselves instead of supervising them 24/7 then might actually learn how to take care of themselves.

      1. tessiee

        Forget it. I've had this conversation on multiple occasions. Apparently everybody who had kids after 1990 or so firmly believes that if they let the little fartling out of their sight for a second, a pedophile will materialize out of thin air and eat their kid with ketchup and mustard.

        1. SorosBot

          I blame McGruff, the crime dog myself. Really; when I was a kid we were constantly pounded with ads and school lectures which constantly warned that every adult we didn't know was going to kidnap us. I guess it's not surprising that when people my age started having kids they took that lesson to heart and were paranoid about imaginary threats to the brats.

        2. Jukesgrrl

          My brother's daughter went from Tucson to an international choral competition in Nashville with the three other girls in her singing group when she was 17. Many of his friends were shocked he and his wife didn't follow "to watch her."

      2. commiegirl

        I did a pretty convincing grad school project arguing that the difference is the age of the parents. Since we all put it off forever now, they treat the children like grandchildren. I used the age of mother at birth of child correlated to number of arrests per child. In my family. All the rest of us (there's like 6 of us; blended family) had one. The millennial had 8.

    2. Steverino247

      Maybe we should have a draft. Try showing up to basic training with your mom and see what happens.

      1. Tundra Grifter

        Mom probably wouldn't make it home for dinner. They'd just draft her ass too and call it a day.

        1. Steverino247

          Drill instructor might have to verify for himself that the best part of the draftee ran down the crack of his momma's ass.

      2. Advn2rgirl

        Actually, MacArthur's mom went to West Point with him and took a room at the hotel overlooking the parade grounds so she could see him. He and Ulysses S. Grant III got hazed about this, apparently.

    3. tessiee

      During my years working in University administration, I've heard many students say that they HAD to get into law school/med school/business school/whatever, because they needed to make AT LEAST 70K a year when they graduated. I sat there at my desk at my 20K a year job, and because I wished to *keep* said job, I thought, but did not say, "Entry level they never heard of".

  9. Mumbletypeg

    Hang around a little longer, kid. Persistence pays off in the long run. Dress Casual is just gaining momentum in the wider fashion world. By the time you've filled those fogies' shoes, it'll be the Pajama'd leading the Pajama'd, just like Jeebus predicted.

    1. elviouslyqueer

      Oh yea, and apropos of MissTaken's post, I've also had to deal with helicopter parents who try and bitch at me when their child (in this case, a 19-year-old University sophomore) doesn't do the work, doesn't show up for class, and receives a failing grade.

        1. elviouslyqueer

          Thank Dog for FERPA. Still, it didn't matter to parents, especially the ones who got pissed when I automatically flunked their precious little angels for plagiarism. I had one parent threaten to sue me and the University for disallowing a plagiarism-related grade appeal because, you guessed it, "I paid for her tuition, so she deserves to pass this class."

          1. SorosBot

            So this isn't just a brat, but a rich spoiled brat who's parents can pay tuition instead of taking out the usual loads of debt. Sounds like somebody could use a slap in the face.

          2. tessiee

            "I paid for her tuition, so she deserves to pass this class."

            Eventually, we'll all stop even pretending that college has anything to do with "education". The students won't have to go to class or do anything — learning only makes a bunch of malcontents out of the labor force anyway — the parents will just pay for a bunch of grades, as out of a vending machine — or maybe they'll just pay the corporations to hire their little shits.

    2. Steverino247

      I've heard some horror stories about soccer officials vs. soccer moms, but I've not encountered much myself working football for 20 years. I once had a mom run onto the field to complain about the opposing team taunting her son's team. I pulled out one of my hearing aids* and said, "Lady, I got this thing turned up full blast. If there was any taunting going on, I'd hear it." She gave me a disgusted look and walked back to the sidelines.

      *Used to be a machine gunner. An awful lot of rounds sent "down range" so my high frequencies are about as shot as the things I was aiming at.

  10. SteveMcCroskey

    All he wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and they wouldn't give it to him. Just a Pepsi.

  11. Callyson

    “For the past six weeks, I’ve been trying to figure out if I am a legislator or not,” Bikas said.
    Well, his confusion is understandable. I've been spending the last year and a quarter trying to figure out if the idiots and assholes among the Republicans in Congress are legislators or not…

      1. Laissez_Queer

        If that boy can lift his own luggage, I think I saw him on cam4. Folds over like a clam shell.

  12. OneYieldRegular

    For a few short weeks in Santa Cruz, California, I had a young housemate who'd been unemployed forever, but who finally, miraculously, landed a very nice job. He showed up back at home before noon his first day at work, and when I asked him what happened, he replied, "Ah, man, no way I can work for that place. The conference room in the office has wood paneling made from old-growth redwood."

        1. Lascauxcaveman

          Gotta love a guy that can always find an excuse.

          And by 'love' I mean revile, of course.

    1. Steverino247

      That's when I would introduce some old-growth redwood to the side of his head and throw his ass out on the street.

    1. WunkRocker

      I disagree. just like Dick Cheney or G W Bush. He's a dumb ass that probably cannot run a toilet paper stand in a shit house. But here he's managed to get the gubbmint to pay for clothes he aint even gotta wear to cash a check. Sound familiar?

  13. donner_froh

    Glancing through the Easley Patch article–it goes into excruciating detail of what numbnutz said, when and to whom–it looks like the smartest thing that Eric Bikas did was wearing chinos and trainers to work.

    He sounds like the ideas of showing up at a certain place and at a certain time, following rules and having a boss are completely foreign to him.

    1. MissTaken

      We have kids who think that showing up on time and doing the work they were assigned to do and nothing more qualifies them for a bonus at the end of the year. No, dipshit, that's what your salary is for.

      1. PubOption

        We had one 'worker' who would regularly come in between 30 and 60 minutes late. He had trouble understanding that he might get in on time if he left home a little earlier.

        1. WunkRocker

          I had some little shetbag intern from the Mayor's something something taskforce. "Oh he's got a straight A average and is in all honors classes."
          Showed up 3 hours late. Did not know what he was supposed to do despite me having 3 guarantees that this had been explained to him. When I went through it for the fourth time he failed miserably. Gave him a task, he chose to do something time consuming but useless collecting web addresses of other local governments. After he finished, I turned the page in his written instructions and showed him where these were already done and he just did not give a fuck. Why the fuck Zimmerman couldn't shoot this tool instead is a mystery of life. I'll probably end up working for him.

        2. GOPCrusher

          I think I worked with that guy. I drove a half hour to work and get there a half hour early. He lived 5 minutes away and show up a half hour late, every day. When the boss finally blew a gasket over it, he just stood there and looked confused as to what the problem was.

  14. johnnymeatworth

    To be fair, the reason he didn't wear his suit was because his mother had drooled pre-chewed food all over it when feeding him.

  15. SexySmurf

    For the past six weeks, I’ve been trying to figure out if I am a legislator or not

    Like all people in his 20s, he's just trying to find himself. Yesterday he was a legislator, today he's a vegan Buddhist, and tomorrow he'll be in his punk phase listening to a lot of Avril Lavigne.

    1. SorosBot

      I think you mean "punk" phase, Avril Lavigne (along with Green Day) is about as genuine punk rock as Barry Manilow.

      1. BigSkullF*ckingDog

        I concur. Avril Lavigne wouldn't know a punk if one punched her in the face. And I hope they do.

        1. Boojum

          That wouldn't help, as too many people of all kinds want to punch her in the face. Including the Buddhist.

    2. comrad_darkness

      Isn't this the state that celebrates legislators clubbing opposing legislators nearly to death? How in the hell could he imagine he's no longer a rep because of one incident with chinos?

  16. anniegetyerfun

    I seriously have no idea what happened here. Is this one of those #firstworldproblems things?

  17. Blueb4sunrise

    So I take it that his clothing choices weren't some social statement about the oppression of the white male.

  18. ph7

    His business: Bikas Drive Inn Restaurant. A review:

    I just visited the Bikas Drive In on my lunch hour, got back to work with my food, and opened it to discover they had given me the wrong order. I called the restaurant and told them what had happened and was asked if I wanted to come back, and I replied "No". They person I spoke with then told me he was sorry that they had messed up my order. I asked if that was all he was offering was an apology, and he said, "Well, you don't want to come back?" So I did go back – and got my money back. I will not be returning again. Bikas Family Restaurant has a lot to learn about customer service and keeping the customer happy.

    Rep. Eric Bikas however, gave his restaurant an excellent review

        1. teebob2000

          Exactly. We can assume you'll be harassed by the closeted gay Republican in the next stall, who also happens to be the owner.

  19. el_donaldo

    Bonghits. That's what this is really about. Legislating tends to interfere with the regular taking of them.

  20. Sue4466

    He says he's not seeking re-election. Is that because he knows he's been a miserable failure or because he has no idea how this re-election thingamajig works?

  21. __kth__

    So much ignorance, both of SC law (I'd feel safe betting that the Speaker can't arbitrarily expel members on a whim, sartorial or otherwise; at any rate, it wouldn't be hard for him to determine for sure) and of tradition (had he never been to the state assembly? or did he not notice how all of them were dressed?). What a disappointment for the TEA party he must be, what with their reverence for the law and tradition.

  22. SnarkoMarx

    "Your Wonkette knows a Millennial who declined to show up on the first day of a $40,000/year job, because it would have required the wearing of pants."

    Most $40K jobs nowadays require the removal of your pants.

    1. SorosBot

      Well remember he was elected to city council shortly before the finale, so he easily could be by now.

  23. ttommyunger

    Well, he DOES have a purty mouth, in a hare-lipped sort of way… I 'spect Miss Lindsay Graham will be dropping by the restaurant to sample some of his ham biscuits one of these days…..

  24. poorgradstudent

    I dunno, for every article I read about Millennials being the most emotionally needy and overprivileged generation in history I read something else about how they're more involved with charity, more socially conscious, etc., etc.

    So yeah I think it's a more a "South Carolina" thing than a Millennial thing.

  25. gurukalehuru

    “For the past six weeks, I’ve been trying to figure out if I am a legislator or not,”

    Meanwhile, OJ is still searching for Nicole and Ron's killer.

  26. Generation[redacted]

    Your Wonkette knows a Millennial who declined to show up on the first day of a $40,000/year job, because it would have required the wearing of pants.

    The next Steve Jobs?

  27. Chichikovovich

    knows a Millennial who declined to show up on the first day of a $40,000/year job, because it would have required the wearing of pants.

    Well, I think he should be commended for not giving up his dream of porn-stud stardom. Youth is when you should reach for the stars

  28. bauserdotcom

    This guy got in trouble for wearing tennis shoes? He's so dumb, I'm surprised he can tie his shoes.

  29. Toomush_Infer

    Envisioning him being repulsed from the floor and torn between:

    "You'll have to leave." – "Where should I go?"

    "You'll have to leave." – "Fine. I don't need anything – except this lamp. Nothing, just the lamp – and…."

  30. owhatever

    If he is not appropriately dressed in a white robe and pointy hood, he ain't entering the hallowed halls of the South Carolina legislature. (Rule Section C, sub-section LX, paragraph 3, sentence b, line 47.)

  31. MozakiBlocks

    In my previous, previous job, I had the glorious opportunity to interview several youngsters in their twenties for entry level sales positions at the company. And it took all the self-control I had sometimes, not to lean across the table, grab one of them by their shirts and yell "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

    The sense of entitlement was astounding…

  32. clblabin

    So, millenials suck, old people suck, and the middle-aged suck most of all. Maybe we should give this whole "personhood" thing a shot; zygotes can't do any worse.

  33. widestanceromance

    Once upon a time, I was interviewing a Millennial, and they asked what sort of travel opportunities the position offered. The position was as the second proofreader to me, reading ad copy. Job description is sitting at a desk and reading ad copy (and commenting at Wonkette from time to time).

    I calmly looked her in the eye and said, "We only get an hour for lunch, so it's best not to travel too far." Her expression was less than pleased, but as the question was so absurd, all I could do was to stare emotionless back at her.

    1. emmelemm

      Seriously, though: You are possessed with a razor sharp wit. Most people would have just shaken their heads, or stared with their mouths open.

  34. dinkybossetti

    This post is doing nothing to assuage my unreasonable fear of one day having to interview replacements when one of my minions quits.

  35. Tundra Grifter

    So ya let the young folks dress however they want, and they seem to always pick blue pants and a black sweater over a t-shirt and flip flops unless it's like zero degrees outside and then they might struggle into some tennies.

    Then someone has the bright idea of "business casual" on Fridays and people start showing up in their pjs and bunny slipper and wonder what's wrong with that?

    They all pretty much dress the same way to stress their independence.

  36. rickmaci

    In another day, the meme for a young and idealistic guy getting elected to office would be that it's like a Mr. Smith Goes to Washington deal. This is like a bad comedy movie: "Billy Madison Gets Elected."

  37. pdiddycornchips

    He thinks he was fired but he's not sure. He presumably cashes his paychecks right? If he's there to stop government spending, shouldn't he send the money back?

  38. Swampgas_Man

    Wait — Commiegirl, you say there's a $40,000 a year job sitting out there? And me unemployed?

  39. Fare la Volpe

    I really didn't expect so many Wonketteers to have suddenly aged 40 years in the span of an hour. Do you keep your butterscotch candies in the same pocket you store your Jitterbug? Those big buttons can be so hard to see without your bifocals.

  40. HarryButtle

    Dude's obviously a fucking lifer, the Strom Thurmond of his generation. What the hell else is he qualified to do?

  41. tessiee

    "he was wearing khakis and tennies instead of the requisite suit and tie and so was asked to go home and put on togs more suited to the chamber’s decorum"

    It's Sacralonna, for shit's sake: "formal" means a shirt under your bib-alls.

  42. Millennial Malaise

    "I resemble that post"

    Actually, I don't. I would gladly go to work in nice clothes. It just so happens that my current shitty wage (without benefits OR a contract, hooray for freelancing!) means no disposable income, which means wearing ripped jeans to work (in the crotchal region, so it's sexy), which means one pair of sneakers a season, which means no rotation of cute jackets (same winter coat 2 years running!) which means really taking care of that blazer I got from JCrew 3 years ago, which I pair with the jeans to make them look like less raggedy.

    If this sounds like whining, that's because it is. I honestly don't know how to do anything else.

  43. Wile E. Quixote

    He's lucky he didn't show up wearing a hoodie, South Carolina has a "stand your ground" law.

  44. Negropolis

    You all must excuse this young man. This is South Carolina, after all, where "No shoes, now shirt, YES! Service!" is the norm.

    Talkin' 'bout my generation, indeed!

  45. WonkCynic

    It's South Carolina. He's probably been at Jesus Camp for the past two months…or down in Buenos Aires bangin' the Argentinian journalist broads.

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