Doodley doodley doo, what’s this? You say Mitt Romney said something perhaps a mite insensitive about Working People and how hilarious it is when they are shoved into a Detroit snowbank, their waif children cold and crying? Take it back, we will not have such slanders and libels! Our Mittens is ever wise and tender when it comes to Money and the Quiet Rooms in Which It Is Spoke.
At the outset of the call, Romney said he has some connections to Wisconsin.
“One of most humorous I think relates to my father. You may remember my father, George Romney, was president of an automobile company called American Motors … They had a factory in Michigan, and they had a factory in Kenosha, Wisconsin, and another one in Milwaukee, Wisconsin,” said Romney. “And as the president of the company he decided to close the factory in Michigan and move all the production to Wisconsin. Now later he decided to run for governor of Michigan and so you can imagine that having closed the factory and moved all the production to Wisconsin was a very sensitive issue to him, for his campaign.”
That is funny!
Romney said he recalled a parade in which the school band marching with his father’s campaign only knew the Wisconsin fight song, not the Michigan song.
“So every time they would start playing ‘On, Wisconsin, On, Wisconsin,’ my dad’s political people would jump up and down and try to get them to stop, because they didn’t want people in Michigan to be reminded that my dad had moved production to Wisconsin,” said Romney, laughing.
We have absolutely no idea why people can’t warm up to this jolly fellow. He jokes, he simpers, he makes love to us all! Who wants to make book on when Sir Romney will recall with a chuckle the hilarious time he saw a little girl, huddled in a doorway, her frozen fingers clutched around her last burnt-out match? Put us down for a fin on “Friday.” [JournalSentinel]




{ 293 comments }
He has all the sincerity of a hand job.
At least something good comes from a hand job – if done correctly. I see nothing good coming from Mr. Mormon.
This is one time I don't want a happy ending.
Yeah he's callous, but with those lily white hands, nary a callous found to get the job done.
Thing is, he's so rich he can pay someone to give handjobs. He's a fuckin' job creator, right?
Callista's going to need a new job soon.
…and none of the warmth.
But… she always said it was because she really wanted ME to feel good! It was all a lie.
Mitt Romney: the dental dam of politicians.
Hand job libel!
Meh, I'll take what I can get.
(Thus explaining his poll numbers!)
Hand jobs, blowjobs, cunnilingus: all depends on the attitude of the deliverer. If it is, in fact, treated like a "job" it will come off as insincere and ultimately unfulfilling. On the other hand (pun intended) a hand job lovingly administered by an energetic and adventurous lass can be a marvelous and memorable experience.
Heartily agreed. Comparing this man(nequin) to a handjob is doing a serious disservice to handjobs.
He is very much like the “duty” job. With all the sensuality of shaking a can of spray paint.
"Clunk, clunk. Clunk, clunk. Clunk."
Quiet everyone! Gather around, an old man is talking!
I know something you don't: I won't die young…
aw shucks
a hand job lovingly administered…
Are you saying someone else needs to be present for it to count as a hand job? Well, this changes everything as far as my in my sexual worldview/history goes. This non-withstanding, I remain warm for the form of the cartoon lady in the Scott Brown thread and may yet get a hand job because of it even if I am home alone. Also, I had a clever, well-researched comment today re Rand Paul that got more replies(6) than p-pts (5) which hardly seems fair.
Mrs. Thumb and her four daughters have been my constant companions, ever-present, ever-ready. They would be offended if compared to a hand job; they are giving their all…
In the words of an old National Lampoon article: "If she does it like she's petting a cat, you're good to go. If she acts like she's starting a lawnmower, tell her to leave."
Puuurrfect!
If you want to experience whatever is the opposite of schaedenfreude, watch the Gene Simmons sex video. His er-uh "date" is yanking on it — she does everything but yell, "CMON!!" at it — and they both look bored. Also, he has the longest tongue in the world and doesn't even use it in the video.
I admit to being slightly pleased that I have a better sex life than the rock star.
I think he sincerely thinks it's a funny story.
Crushing common people's lives is FUNNY! Why can't you lowly voter-types see that?
Some day, when they're all rich too, they'll appreciate the humor.
I can't wait for that to happen.
I wonder if these people understand basic concepts, like "odds." "Likelihood." "Probability."
Will someone get this guy a muzzle?
I'd rather keep him in an airtight box for 12 hours and watch him shit with terror.
Schroedinger's prick?
Physics is phun!
Au contraire, mon ami! I think he should be encouraged to reveal his true self to the American people. As they say on TV, "The more you know …"
Ol' Mittens….so many funny, funny stories…not. Guy just has no personality at all. Even writing stuff about him comes off as wooden as Pinocchio's nose.
"Lie to me Newt!" (Ewwwwww, my last comment of the day has to be so disgusting.)
Still a lot better than "Lie WITH me, Newt."
Almost makes me feel sorry for Callista.
That is HILARIOUS!
The real knee-slapper is gonna be in in November, when we shut down Romney 2012.
Romney 2012 has already been upgraded to Romney 2012.4, with the optional humor sub routine.
nah, he will run again in 2016, because he still has money to burn
You don't think his sons will have arranged a little "mishap" for him by then? I mean, he's burning through their INHERITANCE, heah!
And, then he'll have the pleasure of losing to Hillary.
My dad once closed down a plant, too. Dried it and sold it in baggies….
Hey Cheech, ya holdin'?
Dave's not here.
Big deal, Newt Gingrinch shut down a whole country once.
Newt Gingrich shut down over 100 million *cunts,* once. And he wasn't even trying.
Well, in fact he was, and still is. Very trying.
See? He really is the man of Big Ideas. They're not very good, but they are big.
He's a shoe-in for this year's Mark Twain Prize.
I'd much rather he be a shoe-in for this year's Darwin Award.
Oh pleez oh pleez oh pleez oh pleez oh pleez jeebus
My god, do these wordy things in his head get aligned by the cosmic karma device at a Planck unit of time before he opens his mouth? I guess we have to give him credit for not merely pointing forward and babbling "Laabakaakaklllllldigglewaddie!"
That's the Pentacostals. The Mormons make their wives do that.
On the occasions where I've made a woman emit incomprehensible sounds, I'm pretty sure it didn't have anything to do with Mormonisn.
Hey, wow, you speak Mormon!
Honestly, that sounds like some of the bullshit names they give their kids or the place-names in their mythology.
Get these motherfuckin'snakes off this motherfuckin' church….
I'm looking forward to Mitt visiting Chinatown and telling humorous stories about coolies carrying him around in a sedan chair. I hope he tells it in pidgin. Good times!
"They needed something to do after my dad closed down all their opium dens."
Or, better yet, makes noises like silverware hitting the ground, and pulls his eyes upward into tiny little slits. Those chinamen LOVE that stuff!
Rmoney is a bit of a slow learner isn't he?
I guess we know what the "R" stands for, but we're not allowed to say that anymore.
"Giving a damn" is for the little people.
Hell, yeah! Sell those damns to the highest bidder!
Are they *dental* damns?
In his case, mental damns.
Counting down the days until his consultants force him to drink a PBR.
Almost as funny as the time Bain shut down a factory, sent it to Vietnam, and hired a bunch of 12-year-old girls to work in it!
Toys-R-Us?
And when they turn 13, they all get married to the Mormon plant manager.
The lunch bell is a ringtone of "Rock n' Roll, Pt. 2", as performed by R. Kelly.
"I bought an Etch-A-Sketch factory once and moved it to China."
–Mitt Romney
This guy is really like some kind of meta contemporary art project right?
I'll constantly and blatantly remind them how filthy fucking rich I am and how I grew up a child of privilege and they'll love me for it because the 40% of the electorate that we depend on has reliably and feverishly voted against their economic self-interest since integration. Perfect.
Hey, some of my best friends are NFL owners. I don't like Nascar, but you idiots coming to this race or watching at home just made some of my other buddies some serious money. Because, you know, we're fucking rich. Did I mention that I have 14 houses? Don't you want 14 houses one day too?
Don't forget the elevator. FOR MY CARS.
To be perfectly fair, I don't think he talked about that, so much as it was discovered and we all laughed and laughed until we barfed.
And just yesterday, it was his elevator for his fukkin' cars!
This is like John McCain not knowing what car he drives or how many houses he owns – he'll have "one of his people" get back to you on that.
Swear to Gawd, if you're rich you should be banned from office. These fidiots don't understand what life is like for 99% of us.
Plants Versus Unemployed Zombies!
It would be a bit more amusing if the anecdote ended with George being tarred and feathered and run out of Michigan on a rail.
Supply side christianity.
Needs more tithing.
Can't wait for Mittens to visit an Indian Casino and leave them laughing in tears with his campaign trail of humor.
"I've never been friends with an Indian, but I have known some cowboys!"
Trail of…tears of laughter, amirite?
(Booming, drunken Ed McMahon voice)…"you are correct sir."
Don't think I didn't see what you dooded there.
That was some cunning linguistics by coolhandnuke.
"When my great-grandfather got married to his twelfth wife, he filled his wagon full of beads. He spent his honeymoon driving around the reservation and selling those beads for ten times what they were worth while my great-sister-wife learned to wash her clothes in a creek bed. He had friends who owned a Chinese laundry, of course. Ha ha ha."
What is wrong with people that they don't enjoy awkward stories about their home state? And why can't they like a guy who, in essence, shits on them constantly? What the hell, people…
It does work a lot of the time, notice how rednecks love to repeat Jeff Foxworthy jokes
"I love the cheese here, the cheese is just the right cheesiness. I'm friends with the owners of some cheese-producing multinational companies."
There've been a few narcissists in the White House, but are we ready for the Asperger president?
Much like the trans people with Ann Coulter, the Aspies are angry that you dare compare them to the Romneybot.
Yeah, they're angry, but no one notices.
Mittens isn't an Aspie, Mittens is an Asshole. More specifically a rich entitled asshole who apparently wants to be president 'cause dear old dad couldn't and he wants one more entry for the resume. Aspies are more self aware than Mitt is, hell there are some fish that are more self aware than Mittens.
Assholepergers?
Asshole burgers?
Actually, Mittens' desire to be President is all tied up with the Mormons' White Horse Prophecy. He's been groomed for it from infancy.
<all together> WHERE"S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE? (and is it written in English?)
Messcan.
I find it somewhat irksome that we were treated to SIX FUCKING YEARS of maroons screaming about a somewhat brownishy dood's BIRF CERT when he was born right here, and no one says word one about Mittens' birf cert, and we all KNOW his grandpappy flounced out of this country to Mexico so he could own himself a passel of sister-wives.
I'm no expert, but I think there's a difference between having Asperger's and being an assburger.
"Rich jerkoffs are people, my friend."
"And then there was the time we came home from a regatta and the front door was unlocked — why, we knew we'd locked it before we left, so rather than go risking our lives creeping around the house, we just decided to get two of the vicious rottweilers from the kennel and turn them loose in there. As it turns out, it was just the maid, who had come back from her errands early, and they had her cornered on top of the refrigerator. Poor thing was shaking so badly we just had to fire her."
I bet she romneyed.
Right down the back of the family Frigidaire.
so rather than go risking our lives creeping around the house, we just bought a different house and moved in there. I wonder what ever happened to that old mansion.
(Totally thought that's where you were going.)
Then he said, "Try the boiled chicken, and don't forget to tithe!!!
BWAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!
Will George Soros have to pay Mittens for crafting all these general election advert gems?
Now that the Mega Millions lottery has hit 500 million dollars, how many of us are going to get a few tickets? We could do like Mitt and get our front yard leathered so that we won't have to wear shoes.
Priceless, Barb. Priceless.
They don't call her "Barb" for nuthin'.
Thanks for reminding me to buy my ticket.
You're welcome Marmot and good luck! What would you do with all that money?
Share with my friends, of course– I don't want them to think I'm a Pika.
LAGOMORPH LIBEL!!!1!
Wait, aren't marmots rodents? </ pedant>
Annoy republicans.
pdog/Barb/2016!
You've got my vote, Pdog!
I know what I'd do with all of that money: I'd use it to fund Santorum, Gingrich and Paul and keep them going until the convention in Tampa and then I'd ratfuck the living Jesus out of those dumb bastards until they turned on each other and Tampa 2012 became a bloodbath that would make Chicago 1968 look like a Kenny G. concert. Oh, and hookers and blow too.
I just got mine and I want you all to know that I won't forget about you "little people" when I take it all on Friday.
Barb. in answer to your quest yest I am a born and raised Red Wings follower. I am not allowed to be a fan, it's complicated. Saw Howe play. Hull, Espo, Orr and all them guys, too. 1st game I ever went to was at Olympia and it was v Philly and it was the first season there was a Philly in the NHL (cept for the Quakers). Now the important question: Does all this old hockey talk make you hot? (Dear Hockey News, I never thought this would happen to me…)
"One time, in Michigan, my Dad fired a bunch of people…HA HA HA Bwaaahahaaha!!!"
Did he ever stick a flute in his pussy?
After what he did to that poor dog, please don't give him any ideas.
PLAY AQUALUNG!
did his dad have a mini-Mitt??
Kid Rock likes this.
The douche literally bags himself.
RomneyCares, wait that won't work, how about: RonmeyDoesn'tCare, check, hold on…back to the drawing board.
Having been in charge of closing several plants in my career I can honestly say I rarely get the giggles thinking back on the experience. Perhaps I still have a small spec of a soul that years of corporate training was unable to correct.
1% Tourette's.
Who can't relate to that story? I mean, c'mon!
Oh, ho, ho. Bravo, Willard! Author! Author!
"And Dad said to the marching band, 'I'm running for Governor, for Pete's sake!!' "
Another Romney "Joke":
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because that's where the factory got moved to.
Here is a humorous anecdote we used to tell when Dad was running American Motors: How many AMC line workers in Michigan does it take to change a lightbulb?
None! Their houses burned down because they were using candles after the electricity was shut off!
Obviously, it was rather sad for them, but most made out OK, I hear.
He didn't even keep track of the dog he tortured, I find it hard to believe that he would know or care about some workers he or his dad fired.
I know, you's jes' sayin', but damn if I'm not in a super-pissy state today, since my partner is living one reorg away from a layoff.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The empty building where your job used to be.
Homer said it best…
As if his dad hadn't done enough already, he was also the guy that gave the world the AMC Pacer? This family just can't do anything right….
Nope, not even close, the Pacer came out years after Romney was CEO of
American Motors. George Romney was behind the development of the AMC
Rambler however, which was almost as durable as the Dodge Dart.
When you look at the record Mittens is a real dick compared to his father, who was actually a stand-up guy. From the
Wikipedia article on George Romney
Of course later on George Romney went into politics and here's where you can
see his influence on Mittens. Again, from the fine Wikipedia article.
So, like his son he was was gaffe-prone, and, like his son he was a flip-flopper, again from Wikipedia.
So, to summarize, Mitt's dad was a CEO but he actually earned his money, produced useful products and, compared to his competition at the Big Three, was a visionary.
He was also gaffe-prone and a flip-flopper, oh, and the wingnuts of the time
raised questions about his eligibility to be president because he'd been born in Mexico, and were desperate to vote for someone even wing-nuttier, which they did, namely Richard M. Nixon.
Is George's changing his position on the war sufficient to get him called 'Hanoi George' by the wingnuts?
Only if someone can produce a picture of him posing with a bunch of VC on top of a T-54. I'm sure that James O'Keefe or someone over at one of the late Andrew Breitbart's "Big fat dead cocaine snorting guy" websites is working on one even as we speak.
Here's the famous brainwashing moment that ended daddy's prez hopes in '67…
Around 1:35
Didn't he learn the meaning of "faux pas" while he was off trying to convert Frenchies to Mormon?
I'm pretty sure he learned the meaning of "Baise-toi".
Odd how unsuccessful Mitt & co have been at persuading les Grenouilles that it would worth giving up espresso, Gauloise Bleus and Bordeaux in this life in exchange for your own planet in the next. What does the Wiki tell us?
The article doesn't say how many of those 35K are Mormon princes from the US spending a two-year vacation in France before going off to BYU.
he only learn "foie gras" and "truffle a la gratin"
Apparently, Mexican George liked to fire people, too.
You know, I honestly don't know if he did, though I'd actually guess that he didn't. That said, what is kind of obvious is that his dad had the decency to not make light of having to do it.
Our Wonkette didn't even post the punch line though. Are you ready for it?
Are you SURE?
You're ready now? Ok.
He won the election anyway!!!!
(uproarious laughter and applause)
If the dog story was an example of Romney humor, why should this be any surprise to anyone? You really have to dig deep to find a kernel of humanity in this guy, he is almost entirely a suit filled with money. Sort of like a faintly articulate C-Note pinata. You just want to whack the idiot with a big stick until the money comes out.
I was reading some comments about how the dog story shouldn't define Mitt. What about his saying that the crate was airtight? The dog would have suffocated. He must think we are all idiots and he can just make this crap up.
He must think we are all idiots and he can just make this crap up.
It's worked for all the successful Republiklan candidates since Reagan.
I was thinking axe handle. Maybe a sledge hammer.
What comes out if you whack Rick Santorum with a big stick?
I don't know. Do you think we could get Gallagher to hit him with a sledgehammer to see what comes out?
Yeah, Mitt. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."
But I don't get the part about this being a knee-slapper.
The GOP nominee presumptive goes to a state that still has a lot of heavy industry with a unionized workforce and a municipal/state workforce organized by AFSCME and the SEIU and jokes about closing a plant.
The 1% have foresworn electoral politics and will seize power in a coup run by unemployed military contractors.
G.H.W. to endorse Rmoney. With priceless photo of Bush I telling about the time he once had to scrub out the car after George shit the back seat.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-1754082…
It emerged on Tuesday the Gingrich campaign had been scaled down.
Silly BBC, salamanders don't have scales.
NOTE to the editrix: I posted this comment here earlier, but it showed up as a separate comment down the page, where it got three upfists in spite of being totally out of context. When I deleted it here as a duplicate, it also deleted it down list. You owe me three upfists, boobsome redhead!
Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2012 Inigo Montoya "You Keep Using That Word" Prize!
Inconceivable?
I'm actually not sure this was supposed to be a humorous anecdote. I actually think that laughter might have just been giddy giggling, because Romney likes firing people.
Yes, the real travesty of Romney Sr. closing and moving the plant was the effect it had on his campaign and parade enjoyment.
Has Mitt considered just hiring someone to talk for him?
The folks over at Foxconn in Shanghai are working on it now.
No wonder they keep killing themselves.
HIRING people who provide services to him isn't really Rmoney's strong suit.
Well, they tried it with his wife, but she turned out to be just as much of a wooden pandermonkey as he is.
"I don't actually feel wealthy." – Ann Romney
This seems to be the quintessential Romney anecdote template.
"A few years before [ I or my Dad ] began running for [ whatever ], [ I / Dad ] [ fired / closed down / consolidated / downsized ] a [ factory / company / Carribean nation / orphanage ]. Then when [ I / Dad ] was running for [ whatever ], a group of [ workers / stockholders / campesinos / orphans ] [ called attention to my / Dad's cruelty and obliviousness in a socially inconvenient way ]! That was some very awkward yachting, as you can imagine!"
Love it. It must be some algorithm his firmware's running.
Damn empathy chip keeps blowing.
Damn, Chet, you’re just lighting up this thread. One post of the day candidate after another.
Barack? You've been outed, you know.
Rmoney MadLibs! Sell them as a package deal with an Etch-a-Sketch and some trees that are just the right height…
"There was this one time at tycoon camp…"
I like Alyson Hannigan's version better.
Dear Boys' Life:
I never thought this would happen to me, but…
That's not as funny as the time Dick Cheney shot that guy in the face.
Stick with the classics…
All of them, Katie!
And got the victim to apologize. lol That was pretty amazing. Those were the days, the completely terrifying, oh-my-god-no-one-is-running-anything-anymore days.
I bet Cheney is still pissed that the guy didn't give him a dead duck, to compensate for the missed shot.
NGRP:
Looking back on that now, what are the odds the poor guy who got a facefull of birdshot was wearing a hoodie?
How does this guy spend his days when he's not pandering for POTUS? Laughing at people in the unemployment line, kicking puppies, and mocking the war wounded?
All of them, BSL.
Strapping dogs to his car for 12-hour drives to his foreign holiday home (one of many he owns), mocking NASCAR fans for their "garbage-bag-like" cheapo rain ponchos, and singing "Who Let The Dogs Out" to Blah people at factories where they are getting laid off their jobs. It's in the papers, dood.
Okay so, a car elevator walks into a bar . . . .
Yeah, Mitt. My dad was in the auto industry, here in Michigan, back then. We thought what he did was fucking hilarious, too. Take a look around here now, it's even funnier, you motherfucker.
I don't think he'll be able to hear you unless you get close enough that your spittle hits him in the face when you scream.
And even then he'll only hear, "Pleased to meet you governor. You have my vote."
Pleased to meet you, won't you guess my name?
What's confusing you is just the nature of my game!
That'll be 14¢. Make it out to ASCAP.
In which case, you should say it louder, with a hammer.
In parts of Detroit, nobody can hear you scream.
It's funny (and sad), 'cause it's true.
It's all the baying of the house pets gone feral.
He obviously wasn't PRODUCTIVE ENUF!!!!11
"DId I tell you the one where my car elevator crushed the Mexican elevator attendant. For Pete's sake, I can't tell you that while I'm running for president. But believe me, it's a knee-slapper!"
Oh I get it! He made hundreds of families homeless hahahaha!
That was a real knee-slapper. Ole Mitt turns making money into a stand-up routine. "Take my job…Please."
1% humor. Gotta love it.
And what I mean by "gotta" is if you don't love it we'll ruin you and your family and your town. You'll never work in this time-space continuum again. See if I'm kidding.
They should bring Matthew Weiner on board the campaign to teach Mitt how to be an envied and well-liked asshole. Don Draper was practically born in a stable, and look how he turned out!
It's like he's Basil Fawlty in the episode with the Germans in the hotel restaurant, only he doesn't have the excuse of being conked in the noggin by a falling moosehead.
Don't mention the layoffs!
only he doesn't have the excuse of being conked in the noggin by a falling moosehead
I would be happy to rectify that situation.
Darling, "falling" is NOT QUITE the same as "hurled with great force."
I love the part where he abuses a Spaniard.
I'll bet the end of A Christmas Carol leaves Romney sad and confused.
Understandable — that's when he realized it was a work of fiction.
"And the best part was, by election time voters had forgotten all about everything! And that's why I'm going to be your next President."
Message: I don't care.
It's not like any money was harmed.
A thousand points of blight.
Flamingpdog FTW!!
I saw what that eagle did to ya, buddy. I just want ya to know …
More classic comedy, from "Mitt Romney's Book of 1001 Clean Jokes":
A guy walks into a bar. Bartender asks, "What'll it be?" And the guy answers, "I can't afford anything, I've just been fired."
How many American auto workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, because they can't afford to pay the electric bill.
A guy comes across a magic lamp. He rubs it, and a genie comes out. "For freeing me," the genie says, "I will grant you three wishes." The guy thinks for a second and says, "Really, my only wish is that I could feed my family."
-Knock, knock.
-Who's there?
-Poor people.
-Poor people who?
-Poor people have had their livelihoods stolen from them, and no longer believe their children will have it better than they did.
Yo momma is so poor, she can't even make a $10,000 bet.
On a vaguely related topic, an impressively igmo ad up in the left where the TruckNutz used to be (never forget!) says "Would Lincoln Have Survived Today's Attack Campaigns?" or similar.
HELLO YOU HAVE NEVER READ ABOUT THE PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGNS OF 1860 AND 1864 IF YOU THINK THIS IS EVEN A QUESTION. Nobody has called Bammerz a baboon at an official party function, yet.
While we're on the topic, I came to the conclusion last night (after 5 years of working on a Big Civil War Novel) that John Wilkes Booth won. Hear me out: if Lincoln had been in charge of Reconstruction, he would have given it some teeth. Taking him out meant that the South was never appropriately occupied after the Slavers' Rebellion.
Hell, he'd never be nominated. Imagine either party nominating a former Congressman who was opposed to the first Gulf War.
And not photogenic, too, also?
That would have been a prob for Mary Todd Lincoln, also. Her mental frailties, not so much. Our First Ladiez seem to be able to get away with a smidge of depression and/or hittin' the bottle. A little vehicular homicide doesn't seem to be a barrier either. That's the youthful equivalent of shooting your lawyer in the face.
I don't have to hear you out, because that's kind of the conclusion historians came to decades ago. Johnson fucked up Reconstruction; there isn't even a real debate about that, anymore, particularly if you ask us Blahs.
*cough* The actual Civil War took only 4 years.
Actually, the Civil War is still going on today. You just aren't getting the numbers of new serfs every year that you did in the early 1860s.
I remember the time the factory sent me out in a pickup truck to dump 120 bags of asbestos fibers they'd pulled out of the lagging at the old boiler plant before they demolished the building. I drove out to the landfill just before they were going to close for the day, and the guy at the gate said, "Yeah, okay, dump it. I gotta pick my kid up at school."
So bags all split when I dumped them off the back, and the fibers were flying all over the place. The funny part was that poor kids who lived around the landfill all got mesothelioma ten years later, and the smokers didn't even last that long!
Bwahahaha! You're such a card! I trust you were immediately accepted into the Grosse Point Country Club.
Pointe. It's "Grosse Pointe". Geesh, dahling.
I know, how very gauche of her.
Whenever I give the name of the pointes (Park, Farms, Shores, Woods), I always want to stick on an extra ironic "e."
BTW, I love back in 2006 when Harper Woods wanted to be in the Pointes, so they proposed changing their name to "Grosse Pointe Heights". lol And, East Detroit was successful in trying to tie itself to the pointes with its name change to Eastpointe. How'd that work out for you East Detroit? lol
Oh Detroit, your social strivings are so poignant. Thank goodness Chicago is on one of the coasts!
Sorry.I don't shoppe there often.
My name is Doug, and I have mesothelioma. It just rolls off the tongue funny!
… said Romney, laughing.
Romney was asked by a woman from Kewaunee what he thought about “the governor of Wisconsin taking away people’s collective bargaining rights.”
“I believe he is right to stand up for the citizens of Wisconsin and to insist that those people who are working in the public-sector unions have rights to affect their wages, but these benefits and retiree benefits have fallen out of line with the capacity of the state to pay them. And so I support the governor and his effort to rein in the excesses that have permeated the public sector union and government negotiations over the years.”
Um, you didn't actually answer her question, Shitty Mitty.
Plus he didn't blame Obama for anything. Jesus Christ on a Latter Day Saint Mitt, how are you going to hold on to the base if you don't blame Obama? Santorum or Gingrich could have worked in two references to Obama being blah, and one reference each to
a) Obama's birth certificate
b) Chicago style politics
c) Saul Alinsky
d) Bill Ayers.
if they answered that question.
Too bad they can't buy a ranch on the prairie, put a chainsaw in Mitt's hand, a cowboy hat on his head and pass him off as one of the common folk. Shit, that worked like a fucking charm and the Candidate then couldn't even speak english.
Happy birtthday, ttommy! I gave you a p for my present.
Thanks for the wish. Posted another BD Pix (shirtless) for # 71. Great for the fridge…the back of the fridge; scares the roaches away.
Tweet or it didn't happen.
I'm too fucking stupid/lazy to learn how to tweet a pix.
I think the REAL problem here is that Mint RMONEY's "humour" chip is defective.
Srsly, has anybody heard this guy say anything *remotely* warm, lifelike, or humorous?
What are you talking about? He's considered a laff riot at his cuntry club.
I'm not even going to speculate on cheap billionaires who buy cheap Korean chips by the bucketload.
He called his wife "heavy," I guess that's "humorous."
Bet you $10,000 she didn't think so.
I see the asshole gene is strong in this family.
Nicole Wallace's job of minding Palin is starting to look easy, isn't it?
I want to know how many of RMONEY's handlers/minders have *already* committed suicide.
I don't get no respect, no respect at all. Like the time we bought a company, leveraged it to the hilt, looted the cash and the pension fund to pay our bonuses, then sold it into bankruptcy; and one of the workers told me that I had ruined his life. bada-bing!
Hickory Dickory Dock
Mitt sucked up a cock
(hmmm, I can usually do better than that.)
and then, and here's the funny bit, I said "at least you still have your health!"
I found out later that he'd had cancer and killed his family and himself. Totes hilarious!
You know, there is an element of sexism here. Sarah Palin, Christine O'Donnell and the other Teatardettes, all got crushed by the press for saying things this stupid. So far, Romoney seems to be teflon with the Lame Stream Media.
Dumb woman jokes still get a laugh. Dumb Republican men stopped being funny sometime around 2004.
Mitt. Seriously? You don't have a fucking clue, do you???
"Our Mittens is ever wise and tender when it comes to Money and the Quiet Rooms in Which It Is Spoke…Who wants to make book on when Sir Romney will recall with a chuckle the hilarious time he saw a little girl, huddled in a doorway, her frozen fingers clutched around her last burnt-out match?"
Holy shit, I love this 'site.
Rebecca, will you marry me? I can totally convert, if that's an issue. I bath semi-regularly, & the Statute of Limitations is up any year now….
Omg, Pride and Prejudice quote! Love!!
A Liberal, an Independent, and a Conservative walk into a bar. Bartender says, Hi Mitt.
"Laugh? I thought my pants would NEVER dry!"
And AMC is now a giant in the international auto industry? No, AMC is widely ridiculed as the idiots that produced the whatcha callit …. Oh yeah the Pacer. The only American car worse than a Yugo.
Too bad Eugène Ionesco is dead, otherwise he'd be his perfect speech writer.
Trust me. The fuckstick Republicans in this state thought it was funny (think Walker and Ryan fans). I don't see it on the local news though. In fact they spent more time on the Milwaukee mayor having Rahm Emanuel as a guest at a fundraiser today than they have the potential Nazi nominees.
Any gals from Oklahoma here? Meet me at the abortionplex tomorrow and we can get our wombs tidied up without transvaginal bother.
"What was I laughing at now?…Oh yes, that crippled Irishman!"
He does, indeed, bring Mr. Wickham to mind.
Some day, this week I'll wager, Mitt will say, "Let them eat cake!"–with neither snark nor irony.
He doesn't eat much of the stuff himself, but he has friends who own cake factories.
I can't cheer to "On, Wisconsin!" I'm running for president, for pete's sake!
George is spinning on this planet with his many wives, somewhere.
BTW, this was the lead story on Maddow tonight, and she even ripped off one of my comments. I expect a cut of whatever payment she sends you, Editrix!
The little people's lives are like an Etch-A-Sketch: You can just turn them upside down and shake them, and then they start over.
-Mint MorMoney
I'm sorry, Biely, I'm openly terrified of you because I really DO believe you're Satin and all that, but I am SO fucking stealing that.
Be sure to credit my pen name:
© 2012 by Helen Blazes
Done, old thing, done!
Yea Mitt. That's as funny as putting an Nissan Leaf All Electric Car dealership next to the school for the blind.
I wonder what R-Money's sleep number is?
TRICK QUESTION–ROBOTZ DONT SLEEP…
His dad was right not to want to piss off the Michigan/Wisconsin voters: he moved that plant to Wisconsin to get away from state taxes….the law of intended consequences meant that Wisconsin's unions got much stronger, and these days, they'd be glad to recall Mitt even before he could get elected…..he better hope he knows the owners of some Teflon companies….
If this guy gets elected the official White House limo will be a short yellow school bus.
I read a story somewhere where this nobleman in the olden days was leaving the castle with his shotgun, and his valet (or whatever) asked him where he was going.
Nobleman: I'm going out to shoot some peasants.
Valet: Don't you mean "pheasants"?
Nobleman: No, I mean peasants. They were insolent.
Just thought of this, for some reason.
"Now later he decided to run for governor of Michigan and so you can imagine that having closed the factory and moved all the production to Wisconsin was a very sensitive issue to him, for his campaign.”
"Mentioning this to a crowd of out of work people at MY campaign however, is…
uh…
Oh, crap."
"I not only enjoy firing people, it's in my DNA."
I'm Mitt Romney and I approve this message.
Methinks the Romneybot's humor software needs another patch…
I used to call my ex "my little lagomorph."
Yes, but pikas are lagomorphs. This is getting kind of squirrelly.
A charming young squirrel named Cyril
In an argument over a girl
Was lambasted into the Tyrol
By a churl of a squrl named Earl
I've been waiting forEVAH to plonk that into some totally unrelated conversation.
Pika season! Squirrel season! Pika season! Squirrel season!
If they did that he'd look like fucking Carrot Top before brunch.
Would he need to wear the magic BVDs on his head?
Noooo … that's the beauty of the First Amendment: When people can speak freely, we know who to eye suspiciously and back away from in a no-quick-moves sorta way.
Put the underwear down, Mittens! Slowly … slowly … that's it, buddy. Now, back away.
Praising with faint damns, Biely?
You should know, you furry li'l rodent, you.
Damn! Er … right. Never mind.
Gene is a pathetic figure in my book. The less I see of him the better. Not surprised he won't use his tongue. He prolly doesn't like pussy, just likes to get off.
Well, that, and occupied homes are so far apart from another in parts of the east side that it looks and feels like Little House on the Prairie.
Aw shucks, indeed, or, in the famous last words of my grandfather: “A truck!”
Ha! Do you know why he said that?
He saw it coming straight for him at 60mph.
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