BORN WITH A SILVER FOOT IN HIS MOUTH  5:46 pm March 28, 2012

Chip Off Old Block Mitt Romney Remembers ‘Humorous’ Time His Dad Shut Down a Plant

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Three cheers for Mitt Romney!Doodley doodley doo, what’s this? You say Mitt Romney said something perhaps a mite insensitive about Working People and how hilarious it is when they are shoved into a Detroit snowbank, their waif children cold and crying? Take it back, we will not have such slanders and libels! Our Mittens is ever wise and tender when it comes to Money and the Quiet Rooms in Which It Is Spoke.

At the outset of the call, Romney said he has some connections to Wisconsin.

“One of most humorous I think relates to my father. You may remember my father, George Romney, was president of an automobile company called American Motors … They had a factory in Michigan, and they had a factory in Kenosha, Wisconsin, and another one in Milwaukee, Wisconsin,” said Romney. “And as the president of the company he decided to close the factory in Michigan and move all the production to Wisconsin. Now later he decided to run for governor of Michigan and so you can imagine that having closed the factory and moved all the production to Wisconsin was a very sensitive issue to him, for his campaign.”

That is funny!

Romney said he recalled a parade in which the school band marching with his father’s campaign only knew the Wisconsin fight song, not the Michigan song.

“So every time they would start playing ‘On, Wisconsin, On, Wisconsin,’ my dad’s political people would jump up and down and try to get them to stop, because they didn’t want people in Michigan to be reminded that my dad had moved production to Wisconsin,” said Romney, laughing.

We have absolutely no idea why people can’t warm up to this jolly fellow. He jokes, he simpers, he makes love to us all! Who wants to make book on when Sir Romney will recall with a chuckle the hilarious time he saw a little girl, huddled in a doorway, her frozen fingers clutched around her last burnt-out match? Put us down for a fin on “Friday.” [JournalSentinel]

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 293 comments }

Barb March 28, 2012 at 5:49 pm

He has all the sincerity of a hand job.

hagajim March 28, 2012 at 5:51 pm

At least something good comes from a hand job – if done correctly. I see nothing good coming from Mr. Mormon.

RadioStalingrad March 28, 2012 at 5:58 pm

This is one time I don't want a happy ending.

coolhandnuke March 28, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Yeah he's callous, but with those lily white hands, nary a callous found to get the job done.

Jus_Wonderin March 28, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Thing is, he's so rich he can pay someone to give handjobs. He's a fuckin' job creator, right?

nounverb911 March 28, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Callista's going to need a new job soon.

Puffperney March 28, 2012 at 6:11 pm

…and none of the warmth.

An Asexual Ungulate March 28, 2012 at 6:14 pm

But… she always said it was because she really wanted ME to feel good! It was all a lie.

Serolf_Divad March 28, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Mitt Romney: the dental dam of politicians.

Boojum March 28, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Hand job libel!

Guppy March 28, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Meh, I'll take what I can get.

(Thus explaining his poll numbers!)

ttommyunger March 28, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Hand jobs, blowjobs, cunnilingus: all depends on the attitude of the deliverer. If it is, in fact, treated like a "job" it will come off as insincere and ultimately unfulfilling. On the other hand (pun intended) a hand job lovingly administered by an energetic and adventurous lass can be a marvelous and memorable experience.

smoothmineral March 28, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Heartily agreed. Comparing this man(nequin) to a handjob is doing a serious disservice to handjobs.

ttommyunger March 28, 2012 at 9:29 pm

He is very much like the “duty” job. With all the sensuality of shaking a can of spray paint.

Jus_Wonderin March 29, 2012 at 6:20 am

"Clunk, clunk. Clunk, clunk. Clunk."

jetjaguar March 28, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Quiet everyone! Gather around, an old man is talking!

ttommyunger March 28, 2012 at 9:30 pm

I know something you don't: I won't die young…

jetjaguar March 30, 2012 at 9:32 pm

aw shucks

PuckStopsHere March 28, 2012 at 10:34 pm

a hand job lovingly administered…

Are you saying someone else needs to be present for it to count as a hand job? Well, this changes everything as far as my in my sexual worldview/history goes. This non-withstanding, I remain warm for the form of the cartoon lady in the Scott Brown thread and may yet get a hand job because of it even if I am home alone. Also, I had a clever, well-researched comment today re Rand Paul that got more replies(6) than p-pts (5) which hardly seems fair.

ttommyunger March 29, 2012 at 5:05 am

Mrs. Thumb and her four daughters have been my constant companions, ever-present, ever-ready. They would be offended if compared to a hand job; they are giving their all…

tessiee March 29, 2012 at 9:41 am

In the words of an old National Lampoon article: "If she does it like she's petting a cat, you're good to go. If she acts like she's starting a lawnmower, tell her to leave."

ttommyunger March 29, 2012 at 11:48 am

Puuurrfect!

tessiee March 29, 2012 at 5:01 pm

If you want to experience whatever is the opposite of schaedenfreude, watch the Gene Simmons sex video. His er-uh "date" is yanking on it — she does everything but yell, "CMON!!" at it — and they both look bored. Also, he has the longest tongue in the world and doesn't even use it in the video.

I admit to being slightly pleased that I have a better sex life than the rock star.

Trinket March 29, 2012 at 2:20 am

I think he sincerely thinks it's a funny story.

iburl March 28, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Crushing common people's lives is FUNNY! Why can't you lowly voter-types see that?

Biel_ze_Bubba March 29, 2012 at 3:13 am

Some day, when they're all rich too, they'll appreciate the humor.

FROTHY March 29, 2012 at 7:57 am

I can't wait for that to happen.

I wonder if these people understand basic concepts, like "odds." "Likelihood." "Probability."

DrunkIrishman March 28, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Will someone get this guy a muzzle?

Angry_Marmot March 28, 2012 at 6:02 pm

I'd rather keep him in an airtight box for 12 hours and watch him shit with terror.

tessiee March 29, 2012 at 9:47 am

Schroedinger's prick?

flamingpdog March 29, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Physics is phun!

Jukesgrrl March 28, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Au contraire, mon ami! I think he should be encouraged to reveal his true self to the American people. As they say on TV, "The more you know …"

hagajim March 28, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Ol' Mittens….so many funny, funny stories…not. Guy just has no personality at all. Even writing stuff about him comes off as wooden as Pinocchio's nose.

Jus_Wonderin March 28, 2012 at 5:55 pm

"Lie to me Newt!" (Ewwwwww, my last comment of the day has to be so disgusting.)

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 8:23 pm

Still a lot better than "Lie WITH me, Newt."

Almost makes me feel sorry for Callista.

Nerdista March 28, 2012 at 5:50 pm

That is HILARIOUS!

Chill-A-Sketch March 28, 2012 at 5:51 pm

The real knee-slapper is gonna be in in November, when we shut down Romney 2012.

Boojum March 28, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Romney 2012 has already been upgraded to Romney 2012.4, with the optional humor sub routine.

arihaya March 28, 2012 at 7:43 pm

nah, he will run again in 2016, because he still has money to burn

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 8:23 pm

You don't think his sons will have arranged a little "mishap" for him by then? I mean, he's burning through their INHERITANCE, heah!

Negropolis March 28, 2012 at 11:48 pm

And, then he'll have the pleasure of losing to Hillary.

OC_Surf_Serf March 28, 2012 at 5:52 pm

My dad once closed down a plant, too. Dried it and sold it in baggies….

Barb March 28, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Hey Cheech, ya holdin'?

slowhansolo March 29, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Dave's not here.

nounverb911 March 28, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Big deal, Newt Gingrinch shut down a whole country once.

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Newt Gingrich shut down over 100 million *cunts,* once. And he wasn't even trying.

Well, in fact he was, and still is. Very trying.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 29, 2012 at 3:16 am

See? He really is the man of Big Ideas. They're not very good, but they are big.

Arken March 28, 2012 at 5:54 pm

He's a shoe-in for this year's Mark Twain Prize.

flamingpdog March 28, 2012 at 7:13 pm

I'd much rather he be a shoe-in for this year's Darwin Award.

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Oh pleez oh pleez oh pleez oh pleez oh pleez jeebus

Jus_Wonderin March 28, 2012 at 5:54 pm

My god, do these wordy things in his head get aligned by the cosmic karma device at a Planck unit of time before he opens his mouth? I guess we have to give him credit for not merely pointing forward and babbling "Laabakaakaklllllldigglewaddie!"

Boojum March 28, 2012 at 6:42 pm

That's the Pentacostals. The Mormons make their wives do that.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 29, 2012 at 3:21 am

On the occasions where I've made a woman emit incomprehensible sounds, I'm pretty sure it didn't have anything to do with Mormonisn.

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Hey, wow, you speak Mormon!

Honestly, that sounds like some of the bullshit names they give their kids or the place-names in their mythology.

Toomush_Infer March 29, 2012 at 7:31 am

Get these motherfuckin'snakes off this motherfuckin' church….

SnarkoMarx March 28, 2012 at 5:54 pm

I'm looking forward to Mitt visiting Chinatown and telling humorous stories about coolies carrying him around in a sedan chair. I hope he tells it in pidgin. Good times!

imissopus March 28, 2012 at 7:19 pm

"They needed something to do after my dad closed down all their opium dens."

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Or, better yet, makes noises like silverware hitting the ground, and pulls his eyes upward into tiny little slits. Those chinamen LOVE that stuff!

Isyaignert March 28, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Rmoney is a bit of a slow learner isn't he?

littlebigdaddy March 28, 2012 at 6:21 pm

I guess we know what the "R" stands for, but we're not allowed to say that anymore.

Doktor StrangeZoom March 28, 2012 at 6:26 pm

"Giving a damn" is for the little people.

Boojum March 28, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Hell, yeah! Sell those damns to the highest bidder!

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Are they *dental* damns?

Biel_ze_Bubba March 29, 2012 at 3:22 am

In his case, mental damns.

bagofmice March 28, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Counting down the days until his consultants force him to drink a PBR.

littlebigdaddy March 28, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Almost as funny as the time Bain shut down a factory, sent it to Vietnam, and hired a bunch of 12-year-old girls to work in it!

nounverb911 March 28, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Toys-R-Us?

flamingpdog March 28, 2012 at 7:15 pm

And when they turn 13, they all get married to the Mormon plant manager.

horsedreamer_1 March 29, 2012 at 10:03 am

The lunch bell is a ringtone of "Rock n' Roll, Pt. 2", as performed by R. Kelly.

nounverb911 March 28, 2012 at 5:55 pm

"I bought an Etch-A-Sketch factory once and moved it to China."
–Mitt Romney

NewtsChicknNeck March 28, 2012 at 5:57 pm

This guy is really like some kind of meta contemporary art project right?

I'll constantly and blatantly remind them how filthy fucking rich I am and how I grew up a child of privilege and they'll love me for it because the 40% of the electorate that we depend on has reliably and feverishly voted against their economic self-interest since integration. Perfect.

Hey, some of my best friends are NFL owners. I don't like Nascar, but you idiots coming to this race or watching at home just made some of my other buddies some serious money. Because, you know, we're fucking rich. Did I mention that I have 14 houses? Don't you want 14 houses one day too?

emmelemm March 28, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Don't forget the elevator. FOR MY CARS.

anniegetyerfun March 28, 2012 at 8:24 pm

To be perfectly fair, I don't think he talked about that, so much as it was discovered and we all laughed and laughed until we barfed.

Isyaignert March 28, 2012 at 6:38 pm

And just yesterday, it was his elevator for his fukkin' cars!

This is like John McCain not knowing what car he drives or how many houses he owns – he'll have "one of his people" get back to you on that.

Swear to Gawd, if you're rich you should be banned from office. These fidiots don't understand what life is like for 99% of us.

anniegetyerfun March 28, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Plants Versus Unemployed Zombies!

SpiderCrab March 28, 2012 at 5:57 pm

It would be a bit more amusing if the anecdote ended with George being tarred and feathered and run out of Michigan on a rail.

Joshua Norton March 28, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Supply side christianity.

nounverb911 March 28, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Needs more tithing.

coolhandnuke March 28, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Can't wait for Mittens to visit an Indian Casino and leave them laughing in tears with his campaign trail of humor.

iburl March 28, 2012 at 6:01 pm

"I've never been friends with an Indian, but I have known some cowboys!"

SayItWithWookies March 28, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Trail of…tears of laughter, amirite?

coolhandnuke March 28, 2012 at 6:16 pm

(Booming, drunken Ed McMahon voice)…"you are correct sir."

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Don't think I didn't see what you dooded there.

snackypants March 28, 2012 at 10:17 pm

That was some cunning linguistics by coolhandnuke.

Jukesgrrl March 28, 2012 at 8:06 pm

"When my great-grandfather got married to his twelfth wife, he filled his wagon full of beads. He spent his honeymoon driving around the reservation and selling those beads for ten times what they were worth while my great-sister-wife learned to wash her clothes in a creek bed. He had friends who owned a Chinese laundry, of course. Ha ha ha."

An Asexual Ungulate March 28, 2012 at 5:58 pm

What is wrong with people that they don't enjoy awkward stories about their home state? And why can't they like a guy who, in essence, shits on them constantly? What the hell, people…

GeorgiaBurning March 28, 2012 at 7:43 pm

It does work a lot of the time, notice how rednecks love to repeat Jeff Foxworthy jokes

savethispatient March 28, 2012 at 5:58 pm

"I love the cheese here, the cheese is just the right cheesiness. I'm friends with the owners of some cheese-producing multinational companies."

Angry_Marmot March 28, 2012 at 5:59 pm

There've been a few narcissists in the White House, but are we ready for the Asperger president?

doloras March 28, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Much like the trans people with Ann Coulter, the Aspies are angry that you dare compare them to the Romneybot.

Angry_Marmot March 28, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Yeah, they're angry, but no one notices.

Rotundo_ March 28, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Mittens isn't an Aspie, Mittens is an Asshole. More specifically a rich entitled asshole who apparently wants to be president 'cause dear old dad couldn't and he wants one more entry for the resume. Aspies are more self aware than Mitt is, hell there are some fish that are more self aware than Mittens.

iburl March 28, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Assholepergers?

Boojum March 28, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Asshole burgers?

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Actually, Mittens' desire to be President is all tied up with the Mormons' White Horse Prophecy. He's been groomed for it from infancy.

GeorgiaBurning March 28, 2012 at 7:44 pm

<all together> WHERE"S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE? (and is it written in English?)

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Messcan.

I find it somewhat irksome that we were treated to SIX FUCKING YEARS of maroons screaming about a somewhat brownishy dood's BIRF CERT when he was born right here, and no one says word one about Mittens' birf cert, and we all KNOW his grandpappy flounced out of this country to Mexico so he could own himself a passel of sister-wives.

tessiee March 29, 2012 at 9:53 am

I'm no expert, but I think there's a difference between having Asperger's and being an assburger.

Lucidamente1 March 28, 2012 at 5:59 pm

"Rich jerkoffs are people, my friend."

SayItWithWookies March 28, 2012 at 6:00 pm

"And then there was the time we came home from a regatta and the front door was unlocked — why, we knew we'd locked it before we left, so rather than go risking our lives creeping around the house, we just decided to get two of the vicious rottweilers from the kennel and turn them loose in there. As it turns out, it was just the maid, who had come back from her errands early, and they had her cornered on top of the refrigerator. Poor thing was shaking so badly we just had to fire her."

Biff March 28, 2012 at 6:14 pm

I bet she romneyed.

Barrelhse March 28, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Right down the back of the family Frigidaire.

Exhausted66 March 28, 2012 at 6:27 pm

so rather than go risking our lives creeping around the house, we just bought a different house and moved in there. I wonder what ever happened to that old mansion.

(Totally thought that's where you were going.)

Blueb4sunrise March 28, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Then he said, "Try the boiled chicken, and don't forget to tithe!!!
BWAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!

weej_bain March 28, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Will George Soros have to pay Mittens for crafting all these general election advert gems?

Barb March 28, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Now that the Mega Millions lottery has hit 500 million dollars, how many of us are going to get a few tickets? We could do like Mitt and get our front yard leathered so that we won't have to wear shoes.

Jus_Wonderin March 28, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Priceless, Barb. Priceless.

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 7:34 pm

They don't call her "Barb" for nuthin'.

Angry_Marmot March 28, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Thanks for reminding me to buy my ticket.

Barb March 28, 2012 at 6:13 pm

You're welcome Marmot and good luck! What would you do with all that money?

Angry_Marmot March 28, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Share with my friends, of course– I don't want them to think I'm a Pika.

flamingpdog March 28, 2012 at 6:32 pm

LAGOMORPH LIBEL!!!1!

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Wait, aren't marmots rodents? </ pedant>

nounverb911 March 28, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Annoy republicans.

flamingpdog March 28, 2012 at 7:18 pm

pdog/Barb/2016!

Barb March 28, 2012 at 8:59 pm

You've got my vote, Pdog!

Wile E. Quixote March 29, 2012 at 1:31 am

I know what I'd do with all of that money: I'd use it to fund Santorum, Gingrich and Paul and keep them going until the convention in Tampa and then I'd ratfuck the living Jesus out of those dumb bastards until they turned on each other and Tampa 2012 became a bloodbath that would make Chicago 1968 look like a Kenny G. concert. Oh, and hookers and blow too.

OzoneTom March 28, 2012 at 7:29 pm

I just got mine and I want you all to know that I won't forget about you "little people" when I take it all on Friday.

PuckStopsHere March 28, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Barb. in answer to your quest yest I am a born and raised Red Wings follower. I am not allowed to be a fan, it's complicated. Saw Howe play. Hull, Espo, Orr and all them guys, too. 1st game I ever went to was at Olympia and it was v Philly and it was the first season there was a Philly in the NHL (cept for the Quakers). Now the important question: Does all this old hockey talk make you hot? (Dear Hockey News, I never thought this would happen to me…)

DaRooster March 28, 2012 at 6:02 pm

"One time, in Michigan, my Dad fired a bunch of people…HA HA HA Bwaaahahaaha!!!"

flamingpdog March 28, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Did he ever stick a flute in his pussy?

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 7:36 pm

After what he did to that poor dog, please don't give him any ideas.

DahBoner March 29, 2012 at 7:52 am

PLAY AQUALUNG!

GeorgiaBurning March 28, 2012 at 7:45 pm

did his dad have a mini-Mitt??

horsedreamer_1 March 29, 2012 at 10:06 am

Kid Rock likes this.

Chet Kincaid March 28, 2012 at 6:03 pm

The douche literally bags himself.

RadioStalingrad March 28, 2012 at 6:05 pm

RomneyCares, wait that won't work, how about: RonmeyDoesn'tCare, check, hold on…back to the drawing board.

Goonemeritus March 28, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Having been in charge of closing several plants in my career I can honestly say I rarely get the giggles thinking back on the experience. Perhaps I still have a small spec of a soul that years of corporate training was unable to correct.

Chet Kincaid March 28, 2012 at 6:06 pm

1% Tourette's.

smokefilledroommate March 28, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Who can't relate to that story? I mean, c'mon!
Oh, ho, ho. Bravo, Willard! Author! Author!

Chet Kincaid March 28, 2012 at 6:08 pm

"And Dad said to the marching band, 'I'm running for Governor, for Pete's sake!!' "

BarackMyWorld March 28, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Another Romney "Joke":

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because that's where the factory got moved to.

Doktor StrangeZoom March 28, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Here is a humorous anecdote we used to tell when Dad was running American Motors: How many AMC line workers in Michigan does it take to change a lightbulb?

None! Their houses burned down because they were using candles after the electricity was shut off!

Obviously, it was rather sad for them, but most made out OK, I hear.

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 8:54 pm

He didn't even keep track of the dog he tortured, I find it hard to believe that he would know or care about some workers he or his dad fired.

I know, you's jes' sayin', but damn if I'm not in a super-pissy state today, since my partner is living one reorg away from a layoff.

flamingpdog March 28, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The empty building where your job used to be.

BarackMyWorld March 28, 2012 at 7:57 pm
gullywompr March 28, 2012 at 6:11 pm

As if his dad hadn't done enough already, he was also the guy that gave the world the AMC Pacer? This family just can't do anything right….

Wile E. Quixote March 28, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Nope, not even close, the Pacer came out years after Romney was CEO of
American Motors. George Romney was behind the development of the AMC
Rambler however, which was almost as durable as the Dodge Dart.

When you look at the record Mittens is a real dick compared to his father, who was actually a stand-up guy. From the
Wikipedia article on George Romney

A believer in "competitive cooperative consumerism", Romney was effective in his frequent appearances before Congress. He discussed what he saw as the twin evils
of “big labor” and “big business”, and called on Congress to break up the Big
Three.

As the Big Three automakers introduced ever-larger models, AMC undertook a
"gas-guzzling dinosaur fighter" strategy, and Romney became the company spokesperson in print advertisements, public appearances, and commercials on the Disneyland television program. Known for his fast-paced, shirt-sleeved management style that ignored organization charts and levels of responsibility, he often wrote the ad copy himself.

Romney became what automotive writer Joe Sherman termed "a folk
hero of the American auto industry" and one of the first high-profile media-savvy business executives. His focus on small cars as a challenge to AMC's domestic
competitors, as well as the foreign-car invasion, was documented in the April 6,
1959, cover story of Time magazine, which concluded that "Romney has brought off singlehanded one of the most remarkable selling jobs in U.S. industry." A full
biography of him was published in 1960; the company's resurgence made Romney a household name. The company's stock rose from $7 per share to $90 per share, making Romney a millionaire from stock options. However, whenever he felt his salary and bonus was excessively high for a year, he gave the excess back to the company.
After initial wariness, he developed a good relationship with United Automobile
Workers leader Walter Reuther, and AMC workers also benefited from a then-novel profit-sharing plan. Romney was one of only a few Michigan corporate chiefs to support passage and implementation of the state Fair Employment Practices Act.

Of course later on George Romney went into politics and here's where you can
see his influence on Mittens. Again, from the fine Wikipedia article.

Life magazine wrote that Romney "manages to turn self-expression into a positive ordeal" and that he was no different in private: "nobody can sound more like the public George Romney than the real George Romney let loose to ramble, inevitably away from the point and toward some distant moral precept."

So, like his son he was was gaffe-prone, and, like his son he was a flip-flopper, again from Wikipedia.

On August 31, 1967, in a taped interview with talk show host Lou Gordon of WKBD-TV in Detroit, Romney stated: "When I came back from Viet Nam [in November 1965], I'd just had the greatest brainwashing that anybody can get." He then shifted to
opposing the war: "I no longer believe that it was necessary for us to get involved in South Vietnam to stop Communist aggression in Southeast Asia." Decrying the "tragic" conflict, he urged "a sound peace in South Vietnam at an early time."
Thus Romney disavowed the war and reversed himself from his earlier stated belief that the war was "morally right and necessary"

So, to summarize, Mitt's dad was a CEO but he actually earned his money, produced useful products and, compared to his competition at the Big Three, was a visionary.
He was also gaffe-prone and a flip-flopper, oh, and the wingnuts of the time
raised questions about his eligibility to be president because he'd been born in Mexico, and were desperate to vote for someone even wing-nuttier, which they did, namely Richard M. Nixon.

PubOption March 28, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Is George's changing his position on the war sufficient to get him called 'Hanoi George' by the wingnuts?

Wile E. Quixote March 29, 2012 at 1:27 am

Only if someone can produce a picture of him posing with a bunch of VC on top of a T-54. I'm sure that James O'Keefe or someone over at one of the late Andrew Breitbart's "Big fat dead cocaine snorting guy" websites is working on one even as we speak.

PuckStopsHere March 28, 2012 at 11:07 pm
Chet Kincaid March 28, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Didn't he learn the meaning of "faux pas" while he was off trying to convert Frenchies to Mormon?

flamingpdog March 28, 2012 at 6:37 pm

I'm pretty sure he learned the meaning of "Baise-toi".

V572 Hogan Gidley March 28, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Odd how unsuccessful Mitt & co have been at persuading les Grenouilles that it would worth giving up espresso, Gauloise Bleus and Bordeaux in this life in exchange for your own planet in the next. What does the Wiki tell us?

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) has had a presence in the France since 1849, and the first LDS in the country was Howard Lowell, in Le Havre. The church claims a membership of about 35,000 in the country, representing less than 0.1% of the population.

The article doesn't say how many of those 35K are Mormon princes from the US spending a two-year vacation in France before going off to BYU.

arihaya March 28, 2012 at 7:51 pm

he only learn "foie gras" and "truffle a la gratin"

Biff March 28, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Apparently, Mexican George liked to fire people, too.

Negropolis March 29, 2012 at 12:07 am

You know, I honestly don't know if he did, though I'd actually guess that he didn't. That said, what is kind of obvious is that his dad had the decency to not make light of having to do it.

Sharkey March 28, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Our Wonkette didn't even post the punch line though. Are you ready for it?

Are you SURE?

You're ready now? Ok.

He won the election anyway!!!!

(uproarious laughter and applause)

Rotundo_ March 28, 2012 at 6:15 pm

If the dog story was an example of Romney humor, why should this be any surprise to anyone? You really have to dig deep to find a kernel of humanity in this guy, he is almost entirely a suit filled with money. Sort of like a faintly articulate C-Note pinata. You just want to whack the idiot with a big stick until the money comes out.

Barb March 28, 2012 at 6:20 pm

I was reading some comments about how the dog story shouldn't define Mitt. What about his saying that the crate was airtight? The dog would have suffocated. He must think we are all idiots and he can just make this crap up.

flamingpdog March 28, 2012 at 6:39 pm

He must think we are all idiots and he can just make this crap up.

It's worked for all the successful Republiklan candidates since Reagan.

Steverino247 March 28, 2012 at 6:36 pm

I was thinking axe handle. Maybe a sledge hammer.

PuckStopsHere March 28, 2012 at 11:13 pm

What comes out if you whack Rick Santorum with a big stick?

Wile E. Quixote March 29, 2012 at 1:28 am

I don't know. Do you think we could get Gallagher to hit him with a sledgehammer to see what comes out?

orygoon March 28, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Yeah, Mitt. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."

But I don't get the part about this being a knee-slapper.

donner_froh March 28, 2012 at 6:19 pm

The GOP nominee presumptive goes to a state that still has a lot of heavy industry with a unionized workforce and a municipal/state workforce organized by AFSCME and the SEIU and jokes about closing a plant.

The 1% have foresworn electoral politics and will seize power in a coup run by unemployed military contractors.

Blueb4sunrise March 28, 2012 at 6:22 pm

G.H.W. to endorse Rmoney. With priceless photo of Bush I telling about the time he once had to scrub out the car after George shit the back seat.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-1754082

flamingpdog March 28, 2012 at 6:54 pm

It emerged on Tuesday the Gingrich campaign had been scaled down.

Silly BBC, salamanders don't have scales.

NOTE to the editrix: I posted this comment here earlier, but it showed up as a separate comment down the page, where it got three upfists in spite of being totally out of context. When I deleted it here as a duplicate, it also deleted it down list. You owe me three upfists, boobsome redhead!

Doktor StrangeZoom March 28, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2012 Inigo Montoya "You Keep Using That Word" Prize!

DahBoner March 29, 2012 at 7:49 am

Inconceivable?

Deportably_Jose March 28, 2012 at 6:25 pm

I'm actually not sure this was supposed to be a humorous anecdote. I actually think that laughter might have just been giddy giggling, because Romney likes firing people.

Sue4466 March 28, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Yes, the real travesty of Romney Sr. closing and moving the plant was the effect it had on his campaign and parade enjoyment.

randcoolcatdaddy March 28, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Has Mitt considered just hiring someone to talk for him?

nounverb911 March 28, 2012 at 6:37 pm

The folks over at Foxconn in Shanghai are working on it now.

imissopus March 28, 2012 at 7:14 pm

No wonder they keep killing themselves.

clblabin March 28, 2012 at 7:19 pm

HIRING people who provide services to him isn't really Rmoney's strong suit.

gurukalehuru March 29, 2012 at 9:19 am

Well, they tried it with his wife, but she turned out to be just as much of a wooden pandermonkey as he is.

"I don't actually feel wealthy." – Ann Romney

Chet Kincaid March 28, 2012 at 6:29 pm

This seems to be the quintessential Romney anecdote template.

"A few years before [ I or my Dad ] began running for [ whatever ], [ I / Dad ] [ fired / closed down / consolidated / downsized ] a [ factory / company / Carribean nation / orphanage ]. Then when [ I / Dad ] was running for [ whatever ], a group of [ workers / stockholders / campesinos / orphans ] [ called attention to my / Dad's cruelty and obliviousness in a socially inconvenient way ]! That was some very awkward yachting, as you can imagine!"

BlueStateLibel March 28, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Love it. It must be some algorithm his firmware's running.

sezme March 28, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Damn empathy chip keeps blowing.

Chichikovovich March 28, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Damn, Chet, you’re just lighting up this thread. One post of the day candidate after another.

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Barack? You've been outed, you know.

thebeatgoeson March 29, 2012 at 9:22 am

Rmoney MadLibs! Sell them as a package deal with an Etch-a-Sketch and some trees that are just the right height…

Numbat_Dundee March 28, 2012 at 6:29 pm

"There was this one time at tycoon camp…"

Angry_Marmot March 28, 2012 at 8:11 pm

I like Alyson Hannigan's version better.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 29, 2012 at 3:47 am

Dear Boys' Life:

I never thought this would happen to me, but…

Tundra Grifter March 28, 2012 at 6:30 pm

That's not as funny as the time Dick Cheney shot that guy in the face.

PuckStopsHere March 28, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Stick with the classics…

Tundra Grifter March 29, 2012 at 10:01 am

All of them, Katie!

Negropolis March 29, 2012 at 12:10 am

And got the victim to apologize. lol That was pretty amazing. Those were the days, the completely terrifying, oh-my-god-no-one-is-running-anything-anymore days.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 29, 2012 at 3:49 am

I bet Cheney is still pissed that the guy didn't give him a dead duck, to compensate for the missed shot.

Tundra Grifter March 29, 2012 at 10:01 am

NGRP:

Looking back on that now, what are the odds the poor guy who got a facefull of birdshot was wearing a hoodie?

BlueStateLibel March 28, 2012 at 6:31 pm

How does this guy spend his days when he's not pandering for POTUS? Laughing at people in the unemployment line, kicking puppies, and mocking the war wounded?

Steverino247 March 28, 2012 at 6:40 pm

All of them, BSL.

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Strapping dogs to his car for 12-hour drives to his foreign holiday home (one of many he owns), mocking NASCAR fans for their "garbage-bag-like" cheapo rain ponchos, and singing "Who Let The Dogs Out" to Blah people at factories where they are getting laid off their jobs. It's in the papers, dood.

Aridzona March 28, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Okay so, a car elevator walks into a bar . . . .

Harry_S_Truman March 28, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Yeah, Mitt. My dad was in the auto industry, here in Michigan, back then. We thought what he did was fucking hilarious, too. Take a look around here now, it's even funnier, you motherfucker.

Boojum March 28, 2012 at 6:51 pm

I don't think he'll be able to hear you unless you get close enough that your spittle hits him in the face when you scream.

Jukesgrrl March 28, 2012 at 7:53 pm

And even then he'll only hear, "Pleased to meet you governor. You have my vote."

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Pleased to meet you, won't you guess my name?
What's confusing you is just the nature of my game!

Biel_ze_Bubba March 29, 2012 at 3:54 am

That'll be 14¢. Make it out to ASCAP.

Boojum March 28, 2012 at 10:15 pm

In which case, you should say it louder, with a hammer.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 29, 2012 at 3:51 am

In parts of Detroit, nobody can hear you scream.

Negropolis March 29, 2012 at 7:36 am

It's funny (and sad), 'cause it's true.

horsedreamer_1 March 29, 2012 at 10:10 am

It's all the baying of the house pets gone feral.

teebob2000 March 29, 2012 at 12:56 pm

He obviously wasn't PRODUCTIVE ENUF!!!!11

Come here a minute March 28, 2012 at 6:39 pm

"DId I tell you the one where my car elevator crushed the Mexican elevator attendant. For Pete's sake, I can't tell you that while I'm running for president. But believe me, it's a knee-slapper!"

a_pink_poodle March 28, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Oh I get it! He made hundreds of families homeless hahahaha!

owhatever March 28, 2012 at 6:42 pm

That was a real knee-slapper. Ole Mitt turns making money into a stand-up routine. "Take my job…Please."

FlownOver March 28, 2012 at 6:45 pm

1% humor. Gotta love it.

And what I mean by "gotta" is if you don't love it we'll ruin you and your family and your town. You'll never work in this time-space continuum again. See if I'm kidding.

Chet Kincaid March 28, 2012 at 6:47 pm

They should bring Matthew Weiner on board the campaign to teach Mitt how to be an envied and well-liked asshole. Don Draper was practically born in a stable, and look how he turned out!

Chet Kincaid March 28, 2012 at 6:53 pm

It's like he's Basil Fawlty in the episode with the Germans in the hotel restaurant, only he doesn't have the excuse of being conked in the noggin by a falling moosehead.

Doktor StrangeZoom March 28, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Don't mention the layoffs!

IceCreamEmpress March 28, 2012 at 7:00 pm

only he doesn't have the excuse of being conked in the noggin by a falling moosehead

I would be happy to rectify that situation.

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Darling, "falling" is NOT QUITE the same as "hurled with great force."

Angry_Marmot March 28, 2012 at 8:03 pm

I love the part where he abuses a Spaniard.

Naked_Bunny March 28, 2012 at 6:55 pm

I'll bet the end of A Christmas Carol leaves Romney sad and confused.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 29, 2012 at 3:40 am

Understandable — that's when he realized it was a work of fiction.

Generation[redacted] March 28, 2012 at 6:59 pm

"And the best part was, by election time voters had forgotten all about everything! And that's why I'm going to be your next President."

Doktor StrangeZoom March 28, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Message: I don't care.

Naked_Bunny March 28, 2012 at 7:17 pm

It's not like any money was harmed.

flamingpdog March 28, 2012 at 7:23 pm

A thousand points of blight.

FROTHY March 29, 2012 at 8:11 am

Flamingpdog FTW!!

I saw what that eagle did to ya, buddy. I just want ya to know …

clblabin March 28, 2012 at 7:02 pm

More classic comedy, from "Mitt Romney's Book of 1001 Clean Jokes":

A guy walks into a bar. Bartender asks, "What'll it be?" And the guy answers, "I can't afford anything, I've just been fired."

How many American auto workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, because they can't afford to pay the electric bill.

A guy comes across a magic lamp. He rubs it, and a genie comes out. "For freeing me," the genie says, "I will grant you three wishes." The guy thinks for a second and says, "Really, my only wish is that I could feed my family."

-Knock, knock.
-Who's there?
-Poor people.
-Poor people who?
-Poor people have had their livelihoods stolen from them, and no longer believe their children will have it better than they did.

Sharkey March 28, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Yo momma is so poor, she can't even make a $10,000 bet.

IceCreamEmpress March 28, 2012 at 7:02 pm

On a vaguely related topic, an impressively igmo ad up in the left where the TruckNutz used to be (never forget!) says "Would Lincoln Have Survived Today's Attack Campaigns?" or similar.

HELLO YOU HAVE NEVER READ ABOUT THE PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGNS OF 1860 AND 1864 IF YOU THINK THIS IS EVEN A QUESTION. Nobody has called Bammerz a baboon at an official party function, yet.

While we're on the topic, I came to the conclusion last night (after 5 years of working on a Big Civil War Novel) that John Wilkes Booth won. Hear me out: if Lincoln had been in charge of Reconstruction, he would have given it some teeth. Taking him out meant that the South was never appropriately occupied after the Slavers' Rebellion.

Guppy March 28, 2012 at 7:11 pm

"Would Lincoln Have Survived Today's Attack Campaigns?"

Hell, he'd never be nominated. Imagine either party nominating a former Congressman who was opposed to the first Gulf War.

flamingpdog March 28, 2012 at 7:25 pm

And not photogenic, too, also?

Jukesgrrl March 28, 2012 at 7:40 pm

That would have been a prob for Mary Todd Lincoln, also. Her mental frailties, not so much. Our First Ladiez seem to be able to get away with a smidge of depression and/or hittin' the bottle. A little vehicular homicide doesn't seem to be a barrier either. That's the youthful equivalent of shooting your lawyer in the face.

Negropolis March 29, 2012 at 12:20 am

I don't have to hear you out, because that's kind of the conclusion historians came to decades ago. Johnson fucked up Reconstruction; there isn't even a real debate about that, anymore, particularly if you ask us Blahs.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 29, 2012 at 3:45 am

*cough* The actual Civil War took only 4 years.

flamingpdog March 29, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Actually, the Civil War is still going on today. You just aren't getting the numbers of new serfs every year that you did in the early 1860s.

V572 Hogan Gidley March 28, 2012 at 7:09 pm

I remember the time the factory sent me out in a pickup truck to dump 120 bags of asbestos fibers they'd pulled out of the lagging at the old boiler plant before they demolished the building. I drove out to the landfill just before they were going to close for the day, and the guy at the gate said, "Yeah, okay, dump it. I gotta pick my kid up at school."

So bags all split when I dumped them off the back, and the fibers were flying all over the place. The funny part was that poor kids who lived around the landfill all got mesothelioma ten years later, and the smokers didn't even last that long!

Jukesgrrl March 28, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Bwahahaha! You're such a card! I trust you were immediately accepted into the Grosse Point Country Club.

PuckStopsHere March 28, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Pointe. It's "Grosse Pointe". Geesh, dahling.

Negropolis March 29, 2012 at 12:22 am

I know, how very gauche of her.

Whenever I give the name of the pointes (Park, Farms, Shores, Woods), I always want to stick on an extra ironic "e."

BTW, I love back in 2006 when Harper Woods wanted to be in the Pointes, so they proposed changing their name to "Grosse Pointe Heights". lol And, East Detroit was successful in trying to tie itself to the pointes with its name change to Eastpointe. How'd that work out for you East Detroit? lol

Chet Kincaid March 29, 2012 at 1:03 am

Oh Detroit, your social strivings are so poignant. Thank goodness Chicago is on one of the coasts!

Jukesgrrl March 29, 2012 at 2:33 am

Sorry.I don't shoppe there often.

Barb March 28, 2012 at 10:50 pm

My name is Doug, and I have mesothelioma. It just rolls off the tongue funny!

teebob2000 March 29, 2012 at 12:59 pm

… said Romney, laughing.

flamingpdog March 28, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Romney was asked by a woman from Kewaunee what he thought about “the governor of Wisconsin taking away people’s collective bargaining rights.”

“I believe he is right to stand up for the citizens of Wisconsin and to insist that those people who are working in the public-sector unions have rights to affect their wages, but these benefits and retiree benefits have fallen out of line with the capacity of the state to pay them. And so I support the governor and his effort to rein in the excesses that have permeated the public sector union and government negotiations over the years.”

Um, you didn't actually answer her question, Shitty Mitty.

Wile E. Quixote March 29, 2012 at 1:22 am

Plus he didn't blame Obama for anything. Jesus Christ on a Latter Day Saint Mitt, how are you going to hold on to the base if you don't blame Obama? Santorum or Gingrich could have worked in two references to Obama being blah, and one reference each to

a) Obama's birth certificate
b) Chicago style politics
c) Saul Alinsky
d) Bill Ayers.

if they answered that question.

ttommyunger March 28, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Too bad they can't buy a ranch on the prairie, put a chainsaw in Mitt's hand, a cowboy hat on his head and pass him off as one of the common folk. Shit, that worked like a fucking charm and the Candidate then couldn't even speak english.

Jukesgrrl March 28, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Happy birtthday, ttommy! I gave you a p for my present.

ttommyunger March 28, 2012 at 7:41 pm

Thanks for the wish. Posted another BD Pix (shirtless) for # 71. Great for the fridge…the back of the fridge; scares the roaches away.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 29, 2012 at 3:36 am

Tweet or it didn't happen.

ttommyunger March 29, 2012 at 5:05 am

I'm too fucking stupid/lazy to learn how to tweet a pix.

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 7:20 pm

I think the REAL problem here is that Mint RMONEY's "humour" chip is defective.

Srsly, has anybody heard this guy say anything *remotely* warm, lifelike, or humorous?

Biel_ze_Bubba March 29, 2012 at 3:38 am

What are you talking about? He's considered a laff riot at his cuntry club.

FROTHY March 29, 2012 at 8:14 am

I'm not even going to speculate on cheap billionaires who buy cheap Korean chips by the bucketload.

BlueStateLibel March 29, 2012 at 7:40 am

He called his wife "heavy," I guess that's "humorous."

FROTHY March 29, 2012 at 8:15 am

Bet you $10,000 she didn't think so.

Monsieur_Grumpe March 28, 2012 at 7:22 pm

I see the asshole gene is strong in this family.

Jukesgrrl March 28, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Nicole Wallace's job of minding Palin is starting to look easy, isn't it?

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 8:20 pm

I want to know how many of RMONEY's handlers/minders have *already* committed suicide.

docterry6973 March 28, 2012 at 7:37 pm

I don't get no respect, no respect at all. Like the time we bought a company, leveraged it to the hilt, looted the cash and the pension fund to pay our bonuses, then sold it into bankruptcy; and one of the workers told me that I had ruined his life. bada-bing!

Sharkey March 28, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Hickory Dickory Dock
Mitt sucked up a cock

(hmmm, I can usually do better than that.)

Fukui-sanYesOta March 28, 2012 at 8:35 pm

and then, and here's the funny bit, I said "at least you still have your health!"

I found out later that he'd had cancer and killed his family and himself. Totes hilarious!

rickmaci March 28, 2012 at 7:46 pm

You know, there is an element of sexism here. Sarah Palin, Christine O'Donnell and the other Teatardettes, all got crushed by the press for saying things this stupid. So far, Romoney seems to be teflon with the Lame Stream Media.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 29, 2012 at 3:34 am

Dumb woman jokes still get a laugh. Dumb Republican men stopped being funny sometime around 2004.

proudgrampa March 28, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Mitt. Seriously? You don't have a fucking clue, do you???

Vintariq March 28, 2012 at 8:12 pm

"Our Mittens is ever wise and tender when it comes to Money and the Quiet Rooms in Which It Is Spoke…Who wants to make book on when Sir Romney will recall with a chuckle the hilarious time he saw a little girl, huddled in a doorway, her frozen fingers clutched around her last burnt-out match?"
Holy shit, I love this 'site.
Rebecca, will you marry me? I can totally convert, if that's an issue. I bath semi-regularly, & the Statute of Limitations is up any year now….

writemeblue March 28, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Omg, Pride and Prejudice quote! Love!!

meatpuppet2 March 28, 2012 at 8:41 pm

A Liberal, an Independent, and a Conservative walk into a bar. Bartender says, Hi Mitt.

Barrelhse March 28, 2012 at 9:13 pm

"Laugh? I thought my pants would NEVER dry!"

Pithaughn March 28, 2012 at 9:32 pm

And AMC is now a giant in the international auto industry? No, AMC is widely ridiculed as the idiots that produced the whatcha callit …. Oh yeah the Pacer. The only American car worse than a Yugo.

BTWBFDIMHO March 28, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Too bad Eugène Ionesco is dead, otherwise he'd be his perfect speech writer.

WiscDad March 28, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Trust me. The fuckstick Republicans in this state thought it was funny (think Walker and Ryan fans). I don't see it on the local news though. In fact they spent more time on the Milwaukee mayor having Rahm Emanuel as a guest at a fundraiser today than they have the potential Nazi nominees.

Barb March 28, 2012 at 10:54 pm

Any gals from Oklahoma here? Meet me at the abortionplex tomorrow and we can get our wombs tidied up without transvaginal bother.

NorbertsRevenge March 28, 2012 at 11:02 pm

"What was I laughing at now?…Oh yes, that crippled Irishman!"

scrwued March 28, 2012 at 11:11 pm

He does, indeed, bring Mr. Wickham to mind.

OurDailyBread March 28, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Some day, this week I'll wager, Mitt will say, "Let them eat cake!"–with neither snark nor irony.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 29, 2012 at 3:31 am

He doesn't eat much of the stuff himself, but he has friends who own cake factories.

Negropolis March 28, 2012 at 11:43 pm

I can't cheer to "On, Wisconsin!" I'm running for president, for pete's sake!

George is spinning on this planet with his many wives, somewhere.

Chet Kincaid March 29, 2012 at 12:55 am

BTW, this was the lead story on Maddow tonight, and she even ripped off one of my comments. I expect a cut of whatever payment she sends you, Editrix!

Biel_ze_Bubba March 29, 2012 at 3:25 am

The little people's lives are like an Etch-A-Sketch: You can just turn them upside down and shake them, and then they start over.

-Mint MorMoney

FROTHY March 29, 2012 at 8:18 am

I'm sorry, Biely, I'm openly terrified of you because I really DO believe you're Satin and all that, but I am SO fucking stealing that.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 29, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Be sure to credit my pen name:

© 2012 by Helen Blazes

FROTHY March 29, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Done, old thing, done!

James Michael Curley March 29, 2012 at 5:23 am

Yea Mitt. That's as funny as putting an Nissan Leaf All Electric Car dealership next to the school for the blind.

DahBoner March 29, 2012 at 7:49 am

I wonder what R-Money's sleep number is?

TRICK QUESTION–ROBOTZ DONT SLEEP…

Toomush_Infer March 29, 2012 at 7:52 am

His dad was right not to want to piss off the Michigan/Wisconsin voters: he moved that plant to Wisconsin to get away from state taxes….the law of intended consequences meant that Wisconsin's unions got much stronger, and these days, they'd be glad to recall Mitt even before he could get elected…..he better hope he knows the owners of some Teflon companies….

James Michael Curley March 29, 2012 at 9:08 am

If this guy gets elected the official White House limo will be a short yellow school bus.

tessiee March 29, 2012 at 9:43 am

I read a story somewhere where this nobleman in the olden days was leaving the castle with his shotgun, and his valet (or whatever) asked him where he was going.
Nobleman: I'm going out to shoot some peasants.
Valet: Don't you mean "pheasants"?
Nobleman: No, I mean peasants. They were insolent.

Just thought of this, for some reason.

tessiee March 29, 2012 at 9:45 am

"Now later he decided to run for governor of Michigan and so you can imagine that having closed the factory and moved all the production to Wisconsin was a very sensitive issue to him, for his campaign.”

"Mentioning this to a crowd of out of work people at MY campaign however, is…
uh…
Oh, crap."

Eve8Apples March 29, 2012 at 11:29 am

"I not only enjoy firing people, it's in my DNA."

I'm Mitt Romney and I approve this message.

redarmyzombie March 30, 2012 at 5:10 am

Methinks the Romneybot's humor software needs another patch…

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 7:35 pm

I used to call my ex "my little lagomorph."

Angry_Marmot March 28, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Yes, but pikas are lagomorphs. This is getting kind of squirrelly.

FROTHY March 28, 2012 at 8:49 pm

A charming young squirrel named Cyril
In an argument over a girl
Was lambasted into the Tyrol
By a churl of a squrl named Earl

I've been waiting forEVAH to plonk that into some totally unrelated conversation.

flamingpdog March 28, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Pika season! Squirrel season! Pika season! Squirrel season!

PuckStopsHere March 28, 2012 at 10:38 pm

If they did that he'd look like fucking Carrot Top before brunch.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 29, 2012 at 3:15 am

Would he need to wear the magic BVDs on his head?

IndianaKevin March 29, 2012 at 7:39 am

Noooo … that's the beauty of the First Amendment: When people can speak freely, we know who to eye suspiciously and back away from in a no-quick-moves sorta way.

FROTHY March 29, 2012 at 7:59 am

Put the underwear down, Mittens! Slowly … slowly … that's it, buddy. Now, back away.

FROTHY March 29, 2012 at 8:01 am

Praising with faint damns, Biely?

FROTHY March 29, 2012 at 8:04 am

You should know, you furry li'l rodent, you.

FROTHY March 29, 2012 at 8:10 am

Damn! Er … right. Never mind.

ttommyunger March 29, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Gene is a pathetic figure in my book. The less I see of him the better. Not surprised he won't use his tongue. He prolly doesn't like pussy, just likes to get off.

Negropolis March 29, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Well, that, and occupied homes are so far apart from another in parts of the east side that it looks and feels like Little House on the Prairie.

ttommyunger March 31, 2012 at 7:44 am

Aw shucks, indeed, or, in the famous last words of my grandfather: “A truck!”

jetjaguar March 31, 2012 at 10:03 am

Ha! Do you know why he said that?

ttommyunger March 31, 2012 at 12:57 pm

He saw it coming straight for him at 60mph.

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