Mitt Romney Edges Out Afghanistan War in Voter Popularity Contest

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Today is a very special day: It is Everyone Hates Mitt Romney Day! Only 34 percent of respondents were able to find enough pity in their hearts to muster a weary “sure” (he does try so hard) when asked whether they liked Mittens, according to a new Washington Post-ABC poll. BUT Mittens is still beating “endless bloody bazillion dollar war in Afghanistan” by a solid 11-point margin, so there’s that. Another new poll, this one from Quinnipiac, puts him behind Barack Obama in the three swing states of Ohio, Pennsylvania and Florida. Tell us what we are seeing here, pollsters: “The overall pattern is similar to his trajectory four years ago: As he became better known, his unfavorables shot up far more rapidly than his positive numbers.” Now, Is this because of his embarrassing inability to pander convincingly? Or is it more because, as Arlen Specter squeeled on the teevee today, “Mitt Romney has changed positions more often than a pornographic movie queen?”

From WaPo:

In the new poll, 50 percent of all adults and 52 percent of registered voters express unfavorable opinions of Romney, both higher — although marginally — than Obama has received in Post-ABC polling as far back as late 2006.

However, the biggest difference between Romney and Obama is on the other side of the ledger: 53 percent of Americans hold favorable views of the president; for Romney, that number slides to 34 percent. Positive ratings of Obama steadily improved over the course of his fight for the 2008 Democratic presidential nomination — something not evident in Romney’s ratings this time around, or last.

Mitt Romney will now treat each American voter to a solid gold dildo, to win back their love. Look for yours in the mail! {WaPo/Quinnipiac}

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 70 comments }

nounverb911 March 28, 2012 at 1:12 pm

How many people prefer Seamus the dog to Mitt?

boobookitteh March 28, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Seamus shit all over Romney's car. He was a national treasure.

sullivanst March 28, 2012 at 1:40 pm

All of them, Katie.

chicken_thief March 28, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Is that a photo of Alfred E. Newman on his desk?!

nounverb911 March 28, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Alfred is sitting on the desk. (Didn't our Editrix work for Mad Magazine once?)

Crank_Tango March 28, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Can you imagine the fauxtrage that would have ensued if Barry had deigned to place his black ass on the desk? Show some respect for the office!!!

Barb March 28, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Mitt Romney will now treat each American voter to a solid gold dildo. Now I have something to go with my Swarovski crystal studded ben wa balls, thanks Mitt!

PuckStopsHere March 28, 2012 at 1:15 pm

He damn well ought to buy us all a dildo inasmuch as he's going to be shoving it right up our asses if this country proves stupid enough to elect him.

memzilla March 28, 2012 at 1:15 pm

So we can wish that Rmoney, Vulture Capitalist Supreme, will bankrupt himself in losing to Obama?

V572 Hogan Gidley March 28, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Just saw Arlen ("I hates the ladiez, especially those with high melanin content") Specter pimping his book on MSNBC. What a disgusting creature. Nothing ever captured his true spirit better than the 2010 interview when, having been asked why he switched parties, he excreted, with unbearable condescension, the statement that makes everything he says, has said, and will say in the future, a lie: "Because I want to be re-eee-lect-ted."

And he calls Romney a flip-flopper!

Lascauxcaveman March 28, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Yeah, I much prefer that steadygoing, faithfully consistent Sen Toomey.

[/rolls eyes]

V572 Hogan Gidley March 28, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Granted, the outcome of that election was not the desired one. But it’s always instructive when politicians of any stripe appear without their protective coloration.

Toomush_Infer March 28, 2012 at 1:36 pm

He said the "Spector vote" is still out on all those conservative SCOTI he helped emplace, and that Anita Hill, may not have been entirely honest in her testimony…old boy still has a hinge up his butt….

Allmighty_Manos March 28, 2012 at 1:16 pm

"Arlen Specter squeeled on the teevee today, “Mitt Romney has changed positions more often than a pornographic movie queen?”

Sen. Specter is a major perv…and America needs him more than ever.

HippieEsq March 28, 2012 at 1:23 pm

I think if you beat cancer that many times you ought be able to throw your perv card down with impugnity. At least that's what MY grandpa said as he let go of that nurse's buttcheek.

chicken_thief March 28, 2012 at 1:17 pm

So real 'Murkinz love them some Muslin soshulis teleprompter reading father of two, count 'em – TWO blah kids more than they love a made-in-Utah Mittbot?! It's all the lame stream media's fault. WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!!

SorosBot March 28, 2012 at 1:17 pm

“Mitt Romney has changed positions more often than a pornographic movie queen?”

Come on now, Arlen; most pornographic movie queens have a hell of a lot more dignity and integrity than Mittens does. They also work hard for a living and earn their money, which Romney has never done.

tcaalaw March 29, 2012 at 7:44 pm

I was going to say, "Senator Specter, I know pornographic movie queens, I've touched myself while watching pornographic movie queens, and let me tell you, Governor Romney is no pornographic movie queen," but yours had more originality.

BigSkullF*ckingDog March 28, 2012 at 1:17 pm

My vote is totally up for sale if anyone wants to buy it. Starting price is one new car elevator, but I'm willing to negotiate.

Sharkey March 28, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Next time, could we be more specific about which porno queen? For the fap. Thanks.

CapnFatback March 28, 2012 at 1:19 pm

What's not to like?

Seriously, I mean it, you guys: what conviction does Romney hold for long enough in order to garner an unfavorability rating?

V572 Hogan Gidley March 28, 2012 at 1:30 pm

The American Beach and Shower Footwear Association has given Romney their full endorsement.

noodlesalad March 28, 2012 at 1:19 pm

But what is his favorability rating among car elevator lobbyists? Report the whole story, librul meedia!

HippieEsq March 28, 2012 at 1:20 pm

"As he became better known, it was apparent to all that he is a miserable asshat with no redeeming qualities and funny underwear"

Chill-A-Sketch March 28, 2012 at 1:20 pm

I'm sure that being on Leno last night didn't help either.

nounverb911 March 28, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Did they compare car elevators?

ManchuCandidate March 28, 2012 at 1:21 pm

GOPer Project Manager "Gosh darn it. I mean we tweaked the emotion chip as much as we could. Hell.., er, heck we even changed the likeability mode from Sgt Feces Processor to Sheldon Cooper. That took years of programming. I don't know what more we can do!"
Romney Campaign Manager: "The Rombot believes that ruling the US America is his destiny. If you can't make him more likeable then we're going to have to send you back to the Bachmann Campaign!"
/look of horror/
PM: "We'll double… no triple our efforts! We'll work 48 hours a day to make the Rombot into a human being!!"

BaldarTFlagass March 28, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Sorry, the guy's a condescending prick. I don't like him.

Lascauxcaveman March 28, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Quinnipiac Poll. Quinnipiac. Quinnipiac.

Quinnipiac.

I just love that name. It sounds like a filthy, depraved sex act in some Eastern Seaboard Native American dialect.

SayItWithWookies March 28, 2012 at 1:22 pm

People don't like Mitt because in their heart of hearts, they know if he got elected he would fire us all and outsource the country to Saipan.

BigSkullF*ckingDog March 28, 2012 at 1:22 pm

I only hate Romney for his religion. Does that make me a hypocrite?

James Michael Curley March 28, 2012 at 1:23 pm

“Mitt Romney has changed positions more often than a pornographic movie queen?” Since becoming a democrat, Uncle Arlen no longer remembers that good. old Republican bondage porn.

MissTaken March 28, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Finally a GOP candidate offering up gold dildos instead of the usual drenching with a golden shower.

SorosBot March 28, 2012 at 1:37 pm

That's just the tax cuts trickling down!

BarackMyWorld March 28, 2012 at 1:24 pm

The favorability of Afghanistan could've been higher, but Mitt was actually one of the people polled and he kept trying to change his answer, so the pollster just gave up.

deanbooth March 28, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Dear Penthouse/Forbes Forum,
I never thought this would happen to me, but one day I was on my knees scrubbing the floor in front of the mail slot when…

SmutBoffin March 28, 2012 at 1:27 pm

"Pornographic movie queen", eh? I need to confirm this.

Does anyone know of any websites where you can see these "Pornographic movie queens"?

CthuNHu March 28, 2012 at 1:36 pm

I believe the fine citizens at biggovernment.com may be able to help you there.

bumfug March 28, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Mitt may change positions like a porn star but I bet Nancy Reagan still gives better blow jobs.

anniegetyerfun March 28, 2012 at 1:56 pm

I dunno – Mitt is good at sucking up, and I imagine that translates into simply sucking well, in general.

BigSkullF*ckingDog March 28, 2012 at 1:28 pm

I'm confused. Is he gonna give us the golden dildos or just use them on us? Cause that will effect my level of excitement for this candidate.

Biff March 28, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Golden dildos for some, tiny American flags for everyone else.

IncenseDebate March 28, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Spector comment needz moar James Deen imagery.

SayItWithWookies March 28, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Hey Republicans — remember "It's Morning in America?" Well it's 2am in America now, and time to hook up with the square drinking milk at the end of the bar before his chauffeur drags him home. And you think you can handle it, don't you? But just wait until morning when he doesn't leave and then wants to take you to breakfast and goes on about how he made John McCain mortgage his house back in 2008, and then in a couple of weeks you get a Book of Mormon in the mail. Have fun, y'all.

EloquentScience March 28, 2012 at 1:29 pm

I live in the UK. Will I still get a dildo in the mail? Will it pass through security screenings? Will I have to pay customs? If so, what will it say on the declaration of contents?

James Michael Curley March 28, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Public School Books

WiscDad March 28, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Arlen Specter watches porn???? Shiiit…A cold beer and a hot piece of ass prolly kill that boy.

elviouslyqueer March 28, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Meh. Wake me when poll results show how Rick Santorum stacks up against a Drano enema.

BlueStateLibel March 28, 2012 at 1:29 pm

I'm actually pretty surprised Mitt beat out the war in Afghanistan for likeability.

CthuNHu March 28, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Alt-text or GTFO.

prommie March 28, 2012 at 1:30 pm

I am fresh out of the hydroponic stumbling foliage that I depend on for sanity, and I am finding it very difficult to masturbate to this post, or anything else.

EloquentScience March 28, 2012 at 1:30 pm

True story from my mom in Pennsylvania:

"There is an envelope for a 2012 presidential platform survey from the Republican committee. It says it is registered to the individual named and must be accounted for during tabulation. If you choose not to participate, you must return survey, signed. What should I do with it? It is in a bigger than normal envelope and kinda thick."

Could this my golden dildo? She says it is thick.

GeorgiaBurning March 28, 2012 at 1:31 pm

All that money spent and only 11 points more popular than a war in Afghanistan? It sounds bad until you remember he started 20 points back a year ago; tied with toenail fungus and Santorum-flavored slurpees.

savethispatient March 28, 2012 at 1:32 pm

I love how the artist of that portrait really captured Mitt's discomfort, especially in his eyes. To keep his subject that out of ease through the sitting, the artist must have been peppering Romney with questions. And when I say peppering, I mean one or two slow-pitches.

James Michael Curley March 28, 2012 at 1:49 pm

It's one of those paintings where the eyes are NEVER looking at you no matter where you are in the room.

Toomush_Infer March 28, 2012 at 1:40 pm

The wifey, usually a model of decorum, went crazy over the news of Mitt's car elevator….maybe she just doesn't approve of the quality of the house ramp I built for her mother last year….

Toomush_Infer March 28, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Also, that oil painting merely alludes to the large cob Mitt is sitting on…

Mumbletypeg March 28, 2012 at 1:45 pm

R-money's the converse of, yet as elusive and confounding as, any misbegotten hero trying to ascend to supernatural heights. Every time UltraMannequin here tries to get back to ground-level assuming a more modest Hayata incarnation, the lingua franca barrier betrays him. Palin and McCain both groomed their electorate for woodsy, hands-on, medal-decorated and mooseburger-grease novelty and "real amurica." They're left now with weighing the merits of a stuffed shirt tucked into starched jeans boasting immeasurable wealth that his wife feigns aloofness about, while Mitt's gaffes take on superpower qualities themselves, lining themselves along the passageway of observers' foregone conclusions about everything that is out-of-touch about their candidate.

ttommyunger March 28, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Hmmm. My vast law enforcement experience has tipped me off to the secret Gang
Sign the Mittster is furtively signaling his peeps. It is the infamous "Haven't Got a Chance in Hell, But We'll Keep On Plugging" Gang.

anniegetyerfun March 28, 2012 at 1:57 pm

But how is Mitt stacking up against raging herpes infections? I mean, if we're going to poll his favorability against… other stuff.

Smitros March 28, 2012 at 2:09 pm

But how does Gingrich rate compared to strep throat, or Ron Paul vis-a-vis a stubbed toe?

owhatever March 28, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Numbers make my head hurt.

Wonderthing March 28, 2012 at 2:28 pm

But…but…Obama's black! And a negro. And his middle name is Hussein. And he probably wears a hoodie when no one's around to stand their ground.

OurDailyBread March 28, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Comparing Mittens to a pornographic movie queen is like comparing rabies to apple strudel.

Each and every pornographic movie queen has done more for America and its economy than the Bain Vulture Capitalist. He destroyed jobs, they give jobs.

DangerHelvetica March 28, 2012 at 2:51 pm

How does he compare to the owner of a lonely heart?

doloras March 28, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Much better than an owner of a broken heart.

(YES are playing in my town on Sunday.)

anniegetyerfun March 28, 2012 at 3:16 pm

It finally dawned on me why that portrait of Willard bugs me so much – he looks like the lovechild of himself and Richard Nixon in it. I can't believe he (or one of his corporations/people) paid someone money for that.

Abernathy March 28, 2012 at 4:00 pm

The alt-text really captures what's inside Mittens.

fuflans March 28, 2012 at 10:35 pm

PA: elected santorum and specter.

weird.

valthemus March 29, 2012 at 12:27 am

"A solid gold dildo"? Ouch! So Mittens is gonna screw us over and it's not even going to be comfortable? Please say it'll come with lube.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: