be ashamed be very ashamed

Wonkette Comment Of The Day: Balls Edition

You are all special!

What what? What’s this? Comment of the Day is back? Yes, because Wonkette operative “chascates” sent us hardly any tips today. Enjoy it while it lasts, because we are disinclined to honor implied promises like “of the day” except when it suits us/we are bored.

Nonetheless! The competition was fierce.

Would it be Donner_Froh? Donner_Froh

Or AnnieGetYerFun? anniegetyerfun

How about Doktor StrangeZoom?Doktor StrangeZoom

SCREW YOU GUYS NO IT WOULD NOT BECAUSE THOSE ARE NOT ABOUT BALLS! Drumroll, please.

To what is today’s winner replying? This:

Blowjob. The word is “blowjob.” And scores of Old Hollywood has apparently had their tumescent, swollen cocks in her mouth, and apparently she was GREAT at it, which is the first good thing about Nancy Reagan we have ever heard.

Join us in congratulating MrsBiggTime, for this astoundingly disgusting piece of work: mrsbiggtime

You win nothing but our hearts.

Sponsored Intermission

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Barb

    Wow, I wasted my time here today, eh?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Oh c'mon, you little prima donna.

      [/gives Barb a noogie]

      • Barb

        Thanks for the nookie! Oh, you said "noogie"
        I love what Rebecca did and I told her so in private.

    • flamingpdog

      Mebbe you get something out of it by giving me a book report of all the blog posts today so I don't have to read them myself.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Geez barb, you already have like the biggest p-ness in the room.

    • chascates

      No, you are the wind beneath our wings.

      • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        That song always reminded me of farting.

        • Barrelhse

          Hoist by his own petard.

        • Loaded_Pants

          "You are the wind beneath my cheeks"?

      • Barb

        Thanks Chas!

      • Boojum

        That's like, bird farts.

    • flamingpdog

      Today?

    • DaRooster

      You have never wasted anytime… ever.

      • Barb

        DaRooster, shhhh, don't tell Jeffer that I played Zuma's Revenge all day. I tossed a dryer sheet into the empty dryer and fired it up so that he would assume that I did chores today.

        • DaRooster

          Equivalent to spreading sawdust around the driveway and gluing some pieces of wood together saying, "I got started on that counter top…"

          (nice stealthyness)

          • Barb

            I'm going to Amazon.com to get me some sawdust.

          • AlterNewt

            Don't give that shit away, man!

        • tessiee

          Haw, I used to boil an onion on the stove top.

          • Barb

            Tessiee, then they expect homemade food.

          • tessiee

            True, but that was the style at the time.

          • Barb

            I replied to your post about Palin and Ronnie at the Eureka, CA college. Plain gave a speech in CA and said that Ronnie went to the CA no IL college, LOL!

          • AlterNewt

            "True, but that was the style at the time."

            I see what you did there.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Barb you are never wasting time. i follow you so I can see what the cool kids are talking about.

      • Barb

        Trampndowndirt, I followed you first! You're so sweet to me.
        We have tomorrow to make the comment of the day.

        • Jus_Wonderin

          I am going to comment my brains out today. I need the affirmation!!! I will be back, I have to go sit in front of my mirror.

    • Negropolis

      You can't win everything, Barb; don't get greedy. I wouldn't want to have to call you a Republican.

      • Barb

        Speaking of Republicans, Newt is cutting his staff. http://pwire.at/GYl6SR

        • Boojum

          Ouch?

          • Barb

            Boojum, he's taking his last swirl around the bowl, eh?

          • flamingpdog

            Cutting his staff? How did he find it – I thought he hadn't seen it in years?

          • Boojum

            I dunno…Newt's a floater. We may see him again.

        • BTWBFDIMHO

          Which third of Callista goes first? I'd say the one with the highest Tiffany's salvage value.

    • George Spelvin

      Look, if Rebecca ever decides to have an award for "Comment of the Year", she's gonna have to call it the "Barb". And I'm hoping it will be a knitted replica of Miss Mookie (because I'm sorta perverse).

      • Boojum

        Oh, I volunteered to give a knitted uterus to Saxby Chambliss and heard from the knitter! It will be ready in two days!

  • mrpuma2u

    Ugh, passed over again, Like Bob Hope at the Oscars.

    • MrsBiggTime

      Nancy never "passed over" Bob.

  • straighteight

    Ahahaha. Holy shit, I'm sorry I missed that. I am never going to be able to hear that line without laughing. I mean, not that I didn't before.

  • clblabin

    Balls. Balls balls balls.

  • memzilla

    So, this is all chascates' fault, eh?

    KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      It's always chascates' fault. Well, either chascates or FROTHY.

      • chascates

        Since Shorts is no longer around I'm having to do twice as much work.

        • Boojum

          Where is Shorts, the old blog whore?

          • chascates

            Not sure, I have him as a connection on LinkedIn and he's listed as a paralegal. The old site ShortsShortsShorts.com is gone and isn't available at archive.org either.

            Wonkette is a like a combination of cult membership and military service. Many hear the call, some try it out, few make a long-term commitment. And there are casualties! In Shorts memory let us all take a drink/toke/whatever.

          • Boojum

            Skål!

          • memzilla

            Prosit!

          • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

            pantspantspants! (actually, I was kind of a lurker back then)

          • Doktor StrangeZoom

            This is Shorts we're talking about. We have to chug a can of ANAL BLAST

  • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    balls-out brilliant!

  • Limeylizzie

    I laughed my considerable arse off at that one, I recall.

  • Chichikovovich

    You win nothing but our hearts.

    I thought you had to be a 71-year old sociopath warmonger to get one of those.

    • flamingpdog

      Hey, Mrs BT could have won a heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack instead.

  • BarackMyWorld

    My favorite post today was on the thread "NOPD Suspends Racist Cop"…

    "Is that a hoodie?"
    -smashedinhat

    But it wasn't balls related, so disqualification, I guess.

    • smashedinhat

      I raise a beverage in your direction sir/madam while searching for my keys through a tear in my pocket.

  • MadBrahms

    Hearts? Balls.

  • facehead

    YO BiggTime, I'm really happy for you, and ima let you finish, but StrangeZoom had one of the best comments of ALL DAY!! Of ALL DAY!

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Well, there is a certain nobility in the effort the rest of us have exerted to maintain the flow of snarky conversation, yes?

    HAHAHA, I'm kidding. The rest of us are total losers.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Does winning "Comment of the Day" enhance one's p-ness?

    • bumfug

      It swells with pride.

      • Geminisunmars

        Today we are all swollen with pride.

    • Harry_S_Truman

      Yes, but if it lasts for over four hours they should see a doctor.

      • DaRooster

        Or a Brietbart hooker…

    • Guppy

      If the enhancement doesn't subside in 4 hours, seek Nancy Reagan's expert help.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Wait. Somebody reads these comments?

    • Chichikovovich

      Of course. How else will they know which ones to delete?

      • GreatChristiano

        Fer reals, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't delete. Rebecca would never delete criticism–word.

        • Guppy

          No, the little left-coaster would rather hold hands and talk about our feelings while trying to help us to understand why she is disappointed.

          • GreatChristiano

            I'm pretty sure what you just said was girl talk because geez, that went right over my head.

          • UW8316154

            Well, wonkette IS a mommy-blog now…

          • tessiee

            *Mr. Van Dreisen voice*
            Now Beavis and Butthead, let's talk about respecting the feelings of others, mmkay?

      • Blueb4sunrise

        Random number generator?

        • Chichikovovich

          That's true. I suppose if I can use one to assign grades to problem sets, Her Divine Editrixishness can use it to select for deletion.—

    • Slim_Pickins

      You mean other than their own?

    • C_R_Eature

      Oh, no.

  • Gleem McShineys

    *Quiet Announcer Voice*
    Today's Password Is: Balls.

    • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      Can tomorrow's be 'gobblecocks'?

      • Barrelhse

        That's the safeword.

        • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

          I thought it was still Green Balloons. You have to tell me these things I'm slow.

      • tessiee

        And also, can we get the Heavy Metal/Monster Truck announcer guy to say it?

        • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

          SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY

    • Steverino247

      True story: 71.75 MHz is the frequency for the audio channel for TV station Channel Four in Seattle. That frequency is also one used by military radios such as the AN/PRC-77, which enabled me and most of the rest of my fellow troopers to listen into Monday Night Football when it first came on. If one got close enough to the housing area with a powerful enough radio, one could replace the audio with "You're full of shit, Howard!" on televisions. Sometimes the "Password" was "Fuck!" also.

      • Doktor StrangeZoom

        Something about this reminds me of Joe Haldeman's The Forever War, where the Army, in an attempt to be hip, replaces "Yes Sir" with "Fuck You." Sadly, its function as reinforcer of hierarchy remains, so the net effect is that cussin' is no longer any fun.

    • Biff

      Say the magic woid, the duck comes down, pays a hundred dollahs.

      • tessiee

        Contestant: Well, I'm from [hometown], and I have 19 children.
        Groucho: 19 children! That's a big responsibility! How come you have so many children?
        Contestant: Well, I love my husband.
        Groucho: Lady, I love my cigar, but I take it out once in a while.

        • Biff

          I never knew until right now that George Fenneman was an actual born-in-China commie bastard!

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

    "Balls!" said the Queen, "if I had 'em, I'd be King."
    "Nuts!" said the Prince, "I've got them, and *I'M* not King."
    "Crap!" said the King, and thirty thousand royal subjects …

    but you know the rest. Can I have a heart now?

    • flamingpdog

      World's shortest poem, entitled "Balls":
      Adam
      Had 'em.

      • bumfug

        I thought that poem's title was "Fleas".

      • tessiee

        A very lovely poem about breasts:

        Eve, I believe,
        was the first to receive.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

          I like that. Hopefully, I will be the next. (Recipient, that is. Mmm, boobies.)

          What was it Woody Allen said about bisexuals? Double your chance of a date on Saturday night?

        • Boojum

          I thought that was about oral sex.

      • MosesInvests

        In the Garden of Eden lay Adam,
        Complacently stroking his madam,
        And great was his mirth,
        For in all of the Earth
        There were only two balls, and he had 'em.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Oh, nice.

    • Madam Killjoy

      And forty-thousand men crapped for in those days the King's word was law?? I know I'm close.

      My old man's version goes thusly:
      "Balls!" said the Queen, "If I had two, I'd be King."
      And the King laughed, not because he wanted to, but because he had two.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        That's the one, Madam.

        I like yer old man's version, too.

    • tessiee

      "Can I have a heart now?"

      *Glinda voice*
      But Frothy, you've *always* had a heart!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        That is so sweet, tessiee. Thank you. (I think)

    • Terry

      "Balls" said the Queen and the King laughed because he had to.

    • George Spelvin

      Will you be back before OzWinter?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Yes. I just changed my ticket booking. I should be back soon.

        Didja miss me, hun?

        • HistoriCat

          We've all you missed you!

  • emmelemm

    Filthy. Filthy filthy filthy.

    I love it.

  • Exhausted66

    The joke's on MrsBiggTime because now she has to rewrite her resume.

  • elfgoldsackring

    I am appalled at some of the bad sportsmanship in these comments. That's just sour balls.

    • tessiee

      MMMmmm… sourballs.

      • Barb

        Leads to Lemonheads.

        • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

          Followed by a bunch of Sour Patch Kids.

          • flamingpdog

            After his second heart attack, Gallagher may have to downsize his act to smashing waterlemons.

          • Barb

            Smokefilledroommate just won my vote for comment of the day.

  • flamingpdog

    I just got back from spending all day in the field and haven't looked at any of the posts from earlier today. Am I allowed to comment on this post or do I have to go back and read all the old ones? Please tell me there are less than 14 of 'em today.

    • George Spelvin

      Wait, what?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      No rules here, except play nice.

      You just go right ahead and comment here. I'm up.

  • Tundra Grifter

    What are the three biggest lies on Wonkette?

    "Hey – I posted that first!"

    "I never check my 'p'."

    And…?

    • SexySmurf

      "Size doesn't matter."

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        I live in Size Queen City, and I'm tellin' ya … oh, wait. Never mind.

    • flamingpdog

      Blah is beautiful.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        That's no lie, pdog.

    • bumfug

      3. I didn't read the other comments before I copied yours word-for-word.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Almost 40 replies is great.

        Having your reply get more thumbs up than my original post, not so much.

    • BarackMyWorld

      "Great post, Rebecca!"

    • Blueb4sunrise

      While maybe not top three yet….the ladies claiming they have big boobs is gaining ground.

    • Barrelhse

      "Agreed. No more dick jokes."

    • Boojum

      I was using the word in the sense of "to slow down".

      • Biff

        That's what Olympia Snowe said.

      • flamingpdog
      • nonbeliever7

        Tard-y?

    • Barb

      "I won't cum in your mouth?"

      • bumfug

        For internet posters the lie's more likely to be "I won't cum on my own sheets just thinking about getting a real blow job".

      • flamingpdog

        Um, at teh Wonkette, it's more likely to be, "No, I won't come in your asshole".

      • Tundra Grifter

        Too subtle.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Twice is a trend.

    • C_R_Eature

      "I'll be brief."

      • Nostrildamus

        "You be boxers."

        • C_R_Eature

          Actually, I be commando.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            Nilojja!

          • C_R_Eature

            I know many things. I have no idea what this is, though. Hopefully, you just called me something horribly insulting so I can use the term later.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            Actually, yes, it IS horribly insulting — if you happen to belong to that culture. It means "without shame." Ever read Rushdie?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      ZOMG, I said EXACTLY that, but ID ate my comment!

      No?

      • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        SUPEREGO ate my homework!

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

          Dood, is that the dog's name, or what?

          Nice to see you up so late. I miss mah Wonketz-eerz.

          • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

            It's a really lame attempt at a Freudian joke.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            I know. I was just playing stoopit in return. It's only dinnertime here, and I'm bored without my Wonkette playmates, besides.

            Hey, your P-ness is HUGE.

          • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

            Superego would be a great name for a hamster. I don't know why.
            Aw, who gives a shit about pee?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            Because they're so tiny?

            Not me, dood. When I first came here I asked everybody whatthehell this P thing was and how it works. I still have no fucking idea, but mine seems to have grown despite all my obnoxious snipy comments, so whatevs. I'm always impressed when it grows, tho. I think Jukesgrrl is secretly upfisting us all night, or sumpn.

          • Boojum

            Do you think I could get her to upfist my p-ness?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            Dood, she seems to have Teh Majik Fingers. How could you lose?

        • C_R_Eature

          Monsters from the Id ate my Homework.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            Quit leaving it outside the Dome, dood.

          • C_R_Eature

            Outside the dome? I never get out of the boat!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            Jezus, dood, I watched that movie with a vet friend of mine who was in the Marines (2 tours, the eejit) after we blew our minds out on some good blotter. I don't think I'll EVAH be able to watch anything from it again, EVAH.

    • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

      "'All of them, Katie' and 'Your move, _______' are not funny."

  • Sue4466

    MrsBiggTime always was mom's favorite.

  • KennyFuckingPowers

    A milestone is a milestone even if its just a time stamp for a new low.
    If the world is not living up to your expectations, its better to lower
    your expectations rather than repeatedly hammer your head against
    a brick wall!

    • tessiee

      If you keep your expectations tiny, you can go through life without being so whiny.

      • Doktor StrangeZoom

        Between the sheets.

  • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    …winning hearts and balls everywhere.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Dude, I had no idea this was going to be a competition. I had to quit (got kicked off) my softball team after threatening to slap the umpire one too many times. Not that he didn't deserve it. His strike zone was about twice as wide as his fat ass.

  • http://wonkette.com Jim Newell

    Penis

    • CivicHoliday

      somebody had to say it

    • facehead

      Too soon.

      • Negropolis

        **golf clap**

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      Breitbart

    • Fare la Volpe

      Hey, that's my line! Fuck you.

    • Negropolis

      "balls" just has that je ne sais quois that penis will never have. Penis is too anatomically correct, too scientific.

      MrsBiggtime FTW!

    • C_R_Eature

      Dimension.

    • flamingpdog

      All of them, Katie.

    • C_R_Eature

      Yarbles.

    • George Spelvin

      Easy for you to say.

  • chascates

    Sorry! I left the house early to pick up the 2 cats I left at the vet yesterday (spay & neuter), tried to find the small engine repair place (didn't, water pump for garden still down), picked up feed for the pigs, sheep, and dogs and then had to till several old garden beds. Caught some ducklings to sell to a neighbor, picked some peas, and then planted radish, cuke, and squash seeds.

    I'll try to not let this happen again and congrats to MrsBiggTime!

    • elfgoldsackring

      I think I speak for everyone when I say we're getting a little bit tired of all the excuses, chascates.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

      Didn't have to fight-off any marauding Tejas Rangers who were high on cordite? Easy day then.

    • MrsBiggTime

      Spay & Neuter? Those are funny names for cats.

      • chascates

        'Stay' was always my favorite name for a dog. "Come here, STAY!"

        • Boojum

          As told in the book "How to Make Your Dog Schizophrenic".

        • tessiee

          You could name them You and Back.
          "Hey, YOU!"
          "Come, BACK!"

        • Geminisunmars

          Both of my dogs think their name is "GO OUT?".

    • Biff

      Good luck scrubbing that scarlet "L" off your forehead, loser.

    • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      Water pump? Whatever happened to the hose? or hauling water (remember – "Education Must Be Combined with Productive Labor" – Chairman Meow)?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      Busy day, chascates! Hope the kittehs are recovering nicely, and the ducks are, erm, destined for a pleasant fate.

      • MrsBiggTime

        Or the ducks could be destined for a pleasant pate.

        • Chichikovovich

          or a pheasant plate.

  • flamingpdog

    Tomorrow's "Comment of the Day" winner gets to be put in a crate so small they can't turn around.

    • Chichikovovich

      Why not? My university already torments me with cruel training exercises.

    • Barb

      And the losers have to hose off the car windows.

      • flamingpdog

        Hey, did you hear the news that Mitt Romney's installing an elevator just for his dogs in his newest house? The downside is that it doesn't stop on the way up until it gets to the roof.

    • mavenmaven

      Do we have to watch the movie titanic in 3 D as we descend in that crate?

    • Terry

      We call those crates "cubicles" in our office.

      • Rotundo_

        Oddly enough they get upset when you relieve yourself inside one, given the construction I would think that that was what they had in mind…

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      I guess I'm winning it, then.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Some day…some day. A fellow can dream, can he not? Even if I do make it on the COTD, it will only be because I stand on the shoulders of giants.

  • CivicHoliday

    I have never won one of these fancy wonk-snark competitions. I blame my toddler. And also the fact that I am a biologist, which statistically makes me at least 30% less funny than the general population. I over-compensate by having big boobs.

    • Chichikovovich

      I know I speak for everyone when I say we absolutely need a "boobs of the day" competition as well. I'm surprised Wonkette has been able to survive this long without it.

      • GreatChristiano

        We mean as long as you are female and over the age of, let's say,…. 18?

        • Terry

          Naw, Civic is a 57 yr old man.

        • Geminisunmars

          You know that regulations are job killers, don't you?

    • FakaktaSouth

      Hahahahaha holy shit that was straight up about Math. Not a Palin, but okay. I have big boobs too. It's better than being funny.

      eta – I got deleted trying to respond with why I couldn't take certain math classes. No go! I even spelled it out. We are NOT going to get into that shit AT ALL! I hear ya!

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        I was deleted for mentioning that math class a few weeks ago. So disappointing to fail it again.

      • George Spelvin

        What you're looking for is Analytical Geometry. Or possibly complex-number theory. Or go straight to four dimensions, which I suppose is quadronometry.

      • CivicHoliday

        Big boobs aren't BETTER than being funny but they sure help. But the real deal is a woman who does her best to be an anti-Palin – relying on strengths OTHER than looks and one-liners to get you places.

      • Wile E. Quixote

        I have big boobs too. It's better than being funny.

        And somewhere Newt Gingrich is crying and saying "But Callista, I have big boobs too. Why don't the voters like me?"

    • gullywompr

      BOOBS!!!!1!1!

    • Boojum

      I speak for everyone else when I say, do not worry about your lack of teh funny. I will gladly give you some of my p-ness if you let me play with your boobies.

      • CivicHoliday

        mmmmmm delicious p-ness…except that I think I have more to spare than you do

        • Boojum

          You may have MORE, but more to spare? I think not! Extremism in pursuit of boobies is no vice! I regret that I have but 100 p to give for your boobies! And other stuff, because boobies!

    • C_R_Eature

      You're funnier than you think.

      The 30% value stems from a statistical sampling artifact:
      You were sampling the General population, who are 30% less likely to find Biological humor funny whereas 75% of the Biologist Population find it funny (with 25% of the Biologist Population having no sense of humor).

      This just points out the need for more Biologists on the Judging Committee (as long as they're 75 % – ers!).

      Oh, and Boobies!!1! are Always Good.

      • Terry

        What do you call an anesthetized rabbit? The Ether Bunny!

        • C_R_Eature

          R = [bunny image] = R

        • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

          Q: Have you ever smelled moth balls?
          A: How'd you get their little legs apart!!!1! HAW HAW HAW

    • Wile E. Quixote

      I over-compensate by having big boobs.

      OK, but what is Newt Gingrich overcompensating for with his tremendous man-juggage?

  • BlueStateLibel

    Now comes the crying.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Fuck! I never win shit! This does not bode well for my Vegas trip this weekend.

    • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

      I just got back from Vegas, and I know what you mean…from the future!

      Err, pasture.
      ~

    • DaRooster

      Since I no go to Reno until June… you can have my very special luck… for a couple of weeks…

    • Barb

      Where are you staying in Vegas?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Probably Excalibur or one of the nearby places like Luxor or NYNY, that's where most of my amigos are gonna be hanging out. Maybe one of them will give me the govt rate if I flash my USAF ID. Annual three day sleaze-and-debauchery-thon with a bunch of friends out of Phoenix. Gotta do O'Shea's one last time before they close.

        • Barb

          You MUST sign up for a Player's Club card. They will send you tons of comps if you do. If you have a Player's Club card do not be shy about asking for comps. E-mail them ahead of time and ask. Include your card number and hint that you are looking at more than one property to take your business. I was there 2 weeks ago and I made them pay for my room, my food, my drinks, my limo, etc.

          Check out the MLife website.

          • RadioStalingrad

            At first, I thought you said the MiLF website……hey, just trying to win comment of the evening.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            I'll have to look into that. Is it worth bothering with if you only go to Vegas once every year or two? I don't gamble that much, either.

        • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

          I recommend a visit to The Cosmopolitan.
          ~

          • Barb

            I stayed at the Cosmopolitan and it is really nice. THE Hotel (Mandalay Bay) is great. Yes, the call it "THE" Hotel.

          • George Spelvin

            Mandalay Bay is, indeed, pretty amazing.

        • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

          Just got back from the Palms a month and a half ago– meh. Didn't really dig it; wasn't my scene. At all. After driving by the Cosmo (which looks like the friggin' Matrix) we decided next time that's where we're gonna stay!

          • Barb

            Smoke, Google "chandelier bar las vegas" click "images" You're going to love seeing this in person. Too many great images to just narrow down one for you.

          • Negropolis

            Palms is the for the MTV douchebag generation (mine, BTW). You'll only find it fun if your idea of fun is to wrangle a sexytime encounter with Paris Hilton or one of the Real World guys in a hot tub and/or get wasted on the rooftop bar.

  • gullywompr

    Well, you know, MrsBiggTime gave just a fantastic performance, as did all of my fellow commenters , and I'm just so happy that she got it, she totally deserves this award. Everybody in today's crop of commenters were just wonderful, and I'm just so lucky to be able to comment here. It's truly an honor to be able to be here among the greatest commenters in the industry, and I congratulate MrsBiggTime and all the nominees.

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      You'd been working on your acceptance speech for awhile, eh, Gully?

    • Blueb4sunrise

      So basically you're saying that she slept her way to the award.

      • MrsBiggTime

        Guilty. But how did I miss you, BlueB?
        Never mind. Buy a girl a drink?

        • Blueb4sunrise

          I'm not on the committee….
          and I heard that the winner buys.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        "So basically you're saying that she slept her way to the award."

        Slut.

    • George Spelvin

      Gosh, that was good.

  • stopthemovie

    'chupar mis bolas'

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Update: Conservative Teen Magazine site is maybe undergoing maintenance.
    http://www.theconservativeteen.com/

    • BlueStateLibel

      Millions of teenagers are now crying in despair as we speak…

    • Loaded_Pants

      Maybe it had some dirty sexy thoughts & has now been taking down for a spiritual cleansing.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Turn on the lights and watch the roaches scatter.

    • flamingpdog

      No snark, my ancient eyes could hardly read the blurry text when I had it at two-page-at-a time size, but when I blew it up (not literally, that was only in my dreams), I could only see half a page, and I couldn't move around in the page. I think their webmaster much still be using punch cards.

    • C_R_Eature

      The Radical Teens have staged a Revolution and seized all the means of communication.

    • barto

      kind gives whole new meaning to "under construction" , we guess

    • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      Maybe they're updating the site with cute 'lil animated right-wing bastards in a comic strip created by some old guy with "the third" affixed to his name… The Conservateens !

      • Rotundo_

        Mallard Fillmore and the Conservateens-The winger equivalent of Scooby Doo only they root out voter fraud and liberal "ghosts". That would be chamberpot fulla fun for the kiddos.

  • MrsBiggTime

    Fellow Wonketteers, I am touched. And honored. And so honored I'm touching myself. Just last week Bristol was asking me what she could do to gain acceptance and love from the Wonkette community, so I gave her the best advice I could. I know how much you all love a happy ending.
    Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go find my electric toothbrush.

    • Biff

      Now, according to long-held Wonkette tradition, you must post a link to a pic of your tits. Or GTFO.

      • MrsBiggTime
        • Biff

          Hail to thee, MrsBiggTime!

        • RadioStalingrad

          Tell me that Gobblecocks story again.

        • Fare la Volpe

          JAYZUS.

          • Loaded_Pants

            I knew that the ratings for "30 Rock" are low but damn…

        • C_R_Eature

          I see that you're a Mammal.

          • flamingpdog

            So you're a biologist, too?

          • C_R_Eature

            I've had extensive training in Mammalian Protuberance Recognition.

        • iburl

          ! NSF…f…f…fap..

    • memzilla

      Well done!

      Also, I find that the comment "Mrs. Gobblecocks, suck down my balls" is best married to the music of "Mr. Sandman." The first several seconds of the tune sound amazingly like a fap fest.

    • Negropolis

      Fellow Wonketteers, I am touched. And honored. And so honored I'm touching myself.

      Even in winning you are giving. You should win "Comment of Tomorrow" for that one.

  • Guppy

    But where's the ass-fucking?

    • Loaded_Pants

      Indeed. I've been waiting for it all day.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    I just waked up.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Naysayers and chinwaggers take note: outrageous libel and allusions to figurative lethal and sexual violence may be off the table, but hey, we have a new comedic device in circulation!

    Testicles! Gonads! Scrota!

    Exhort bad people to make oro-lingual contact with your junk! It's not quite rapish, and it's funny!

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      (Just busting your balls, Rebecca.)

  • C_R_Eature

    I wasn't even here.

    But that was fantastically, wonderfully disgusting, MrsBiggTime.
    Congratulations!You do this place proud.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    I am so pissed right now. Drunk, that is.

  • tessiee

    I feel like Susan Lucci.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    MrsBiggTime, I tip my hat to you. After that image is planted in your head, you cannot unsee.

  • tessiee

    *adjusts tiara*
    *kisses both palms, blows kisses to all*
    *walks down runway with armload of red roses, doing queen wave with other hand*
    Thank you!
    Thank you all so much!
    I wondered whether I was going too far when I said that Nancy Reagan was a skeletor-looking bitch whose only nutrition came from swallowing jizz, but I had faith in all of you!
    I love you guys!

    Wait, what?
    I didn't win anything?
    *a la Eric Cartman*
    Screw you guys, I'm goin' home.

    • HistoriCat

      It's an honor just to be nomina- … oh, sorry.

  • GreatChristiano

    Ok, so now we gotta come up with a theme song for MrsBiggTime.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Who do you think you are?

      • GreatChristiano

        Sorry, Rebecca found me in the alley…

        • Dashboard Buddha

          My apologies…the song I was thinking of is "Mr. Big STUFF"…not bigtime.

    • iburl

      This should work for bumps between segments: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0FBi5Rv1ho

    • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      ♪♫ Bigg Time
      I'm on my way I'm snarkin' it.. ♫♪

      nevermind, that's lame.

  • RadioStalingrad

    Ever since I was banned, I've decided not to be funny.
    Nonetheless, congrats MrsBiggTime.

    • user-of-owls

      Is there an echo in here?

      • RadioStalingrad

        I use slap back delay with a low pass filter.

    • Negropolis

      Never relinquish your snark; do not unilaterally disarm in that way. There are certain people I've given up on after my own banning, but never will I let them take my snark.

    • flamingpdog

      Aw, lemme put a little banned-aid on that and make you feel better.

    • Barb

      Who banned you Radio?.

      • RadioStalingrad

        Put it this way Barb, Negropolis and I had a bad night a few weeks ago. My favorite part of that Kafkesque experience is when Mr. Polis tried to communicate to you the gravity of the situation by changing his ID name to BarbHe'sNotKidding. Maybe you were enjoying Vegas? The great Jim Newell eventually restored our privileges, and speaking for myself, I have nothing but admiration for our übereditor as he showed forgiveness and tolerance in allowing us back — even going out of his way to re-instate my home IP address.
        All hail the new Wonketz.

        • Barb

          Wow, wow, wow, how did I become part of this? E-mail me at Barbxoxo@aol.com and tell me, lol. (3 x's 3 0's)

        • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

          I had a very public brush with the Banhammer… but apparently, they just can't ban my ass!

          • Barb

            Who could ban an ass that fine?

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Two guys were walking down the street and they came across a dog lying on the sidewalk licking his balls…

    First guy: "Jeez, I wish I could do that!”
    Second guy: “ You should probably see if he'll let you pet him first.”

  • BarackMyWorld

    OT head-scratching: http://news.yahoo.com/poll-most-americans-disappr

    More than two-thirds of Americans disapprove of the way President Barack Obama is handling high gasoline prices, although most do not blame him for them, according to a Reuters/Ipsos online poll released on Tuesday…"Obama is getting heat for it but people aren't necessarily blaming him for it," said Chris Jackson, research director for Ipsos public affairs.

    Republicans have hit Obama particularly hard for his decision to block TransCanada Corp.'s Keystone XL Canada-to-Texas pipeline as a sign that his energy priorities are hurting America…In Oklahoma, he pledged to accelerate approval of the southern leg of the Keystone XL pipeline. Republicans immediately dismissed the campaign-style stop as a stunt, saying Obama does not have the authority to really jump start the project.

    WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THIS COUNTRY???

    • Biff

      They need to listen to Bill-o's rant from 2008 regarding the president's ability to alter the price of fuel.

      • BarackMyWorld

        They don't "blame" him, but they are mad at him about it…

        The Republicans are mad at him for blocking the pipeline, but when he says he's trying to get it going, they say he's not the one in charge of it…

        I DON'T GET IT.

        • bikerlaureate

          Josh: 68 percent think we're giving too much in foreign aid and 59 percent think it should be cut.
          Will: You like that stat.
          Josh: I do.
          Will: Why?
          Josh: Because 9 percent think it's too high and shouldn't be cut!! Nine percent of the respondents couldn't fully get their arms around the question.

          • BarackMyWorld

            I see your point, but the logic about the pipeline still makes me want to run into oncoming traffic. How can he be attacked for killing the pipeline, but also not taken seriously because the same critics don't think he can actually do anything about it…
            ARGGGG!!!

          • Geminisunmars

            As long as you are expecting logical, rational, consistent thought processes from the Amurrican Public, you will be in pain.

          • BarackMyWorld

            "As long as you are expecting logical, rational, consistent thought processes from the Amurrican Public and Republican Party, you will be in pain."

            -fixed.

        • DahBoner

          OBS.

          Obama Derangement Syndrom

    • C_R_Eature

      FOX "News"

    • flamingpdog

      I also heard on the radio today that polling shows the majority of Americans think Obamacare is unConstitutional, but a majority of Americans want Obamacare to remain in effect. Now I admit I pretty much hit the math wall when I got to calculus, but it sure sounds like a majority of Americans hate our sacred, Jeebus-bestowed Constitution. And Bammers is the one who gets called a traitorous Kenyan soshulist?

    • yyyaz

      Still more rational than the average teahadist.

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      What's going on? The electorate is dumber than a bag of doorknobs. Wash, rinse, repeat.

    • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      73% of all REAL Americans are working on their "Comment of the Day" submissions for tomorrow's Wonket. No time to make sense.

  • Fare la Volpe

    Maybe I'm just waaaaay too high for a Tuesday evening, but I have no idea what's going on.

    Now there are balls dangling in front of my face. The cat wants out.

    • flamingpdog

      ♫ Teabag the cat,
      The wonderful, wonderful cat.
      Whenever he should feel the call,
      He reaches out with his bag of balls.
      Teabag the cat,
      The wonderful, wonderful cat.
      You'll barf so much your sides will ache.
      Your eyes will go rat-tat-a-tat,
      Watching Teabag the wonderful cat. ♫

      • Fare la Volpe

        You.

        I like you.

        • flamingpdog

          I like people like you who are straight-forward.

          • Fare la Volpe

            Ba-zing! Tip your waitress, try the veal.

      • C_R_Eature

        "Rrrrrriiiiight – tee – Oooohh! Ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha! *RETCH*

  • SayItWithWookies

    Way to go, MrsBiggTime — it's the ideal salute to a pathetic and meaningless show, itself the pinnacle of a president whose greatest talent was standing on the x and reciting his lines.

  • StarsUponThars

    Chota libel!

    • littlebigdaddy

      I had a roommate once who went to Chota. He was a total coke head.

  • owhatever

    In rtaliation for bing so mistratd by Wonttr godss Rbcca, I will no longr us the letter "e" in th rmaindr of my posts today.

    But congratulations to MrsBiggtim. Sh dsrvs th honor.

  • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

    OT Rachel is reporting breaking news that Newt is cutting his campaign staff by one third.

    • iburl

      Oh no, he's getting divorced again?

      I think they were down to just Newt, Callista and the jerk in the Elephant suit driving the bus.

    • fartknocker

      Calista has to touch the Newt balls. Ewww.

    • C_R_Eature

      He still has two thirds too many.

      • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

        Seems we're shy one horse.

        • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

          I thought the one staffer they had also had to double as Ellis the Elephant on the Tiffany's elementary school book tour 'campaign stops'.

    • flamingpdog

      When's he gonna do our eyes a favor and cut himself by one third?

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      Yeah, but he was also on TV today suggesting that the four remaining candidates have a primetime debate at the convention, perhaps in place of the keynote speech on opening night. Fucker still seems to think he can go to Tampa and impress about 800 delegates so much they will all switch to him.

      • BTWBFDIMHO

        Wait, is Tampa the plural of Tampon?

      • George Spelvin

        Um, even republicans know by now that newt is deranged.

    • Boojum

      That's some Republican jerb creatin'!

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    OT/ I just registered online for tomorrow's Jeopardy!® contestant app/ quiz/ audition?
    I cannot even spell the game's name without getting the 'a' and the 'o' mixed up, furthermore I can recall woefully little trivia, or at least not consistently. YEAH JEAPORDY, Bring It On!1.

    ETA: Congrats MsBiggTime on making TEH BIGG TIME, and with style~

    • RadioStalingrad

      What is spellcheck?
      "You know who else" for $1600, Alex.

      • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

        It's more like when I go to type it or when I'm texting someone. Inevitably I have to go back and swap vowels.
        Speaking of swapping vowels — I was just fixing to message you RS

        • RadioStalingrad

          I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. Go ahead punky, make my night.

          • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

            LOL, "Punk" was my nickname freshman year in college! Was I so drunk on sangria that I forgot I'd told you this? More to come~

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

      I am good at that show.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Good luck, don't forget Weird Al. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSBrYty844Y

      • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

        trampn, that means a lot. I've enjoyed your site, hope it's not blogwhoring to say that on someone's behalf, anyways I mean what I say. [Blog-pimping, maybe].

        • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

          Not my blog. I just stumbled on it and thought I'd share.

          • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

            Oh that's too bad. Points for the Weird Al link though~

    • Barb

      Mumble, spelling doesn't count on the online version, trust me. I got picked, lol. Call me and Jeffer and I will take the quiz with you.

  • Negropolis

    I'm partial to Annie's as a Michigander. With relatively low clearances, it is, indeed, difficult to drive two Cadillacs up a flight of stairs, side by side.

  • littlebigdaddy

    OK, how's this for a hypothetical response to a story about Lindsey Graham:
    "Miss Lindsey has been putting on the pounds. I think she should stay away from the organ meats." Wokawoka.

  • iburl

    If Wonkette is looking for filler, there's always the ol' photoshop contest.

    This should do; pig: http://i.huffpost.com/gen/548334/thumbs/r-SANTORU

    • C_R_Eature
    • Loaded_Pants

      Good turkey-gravy Jesus, there's no end to the pics in which Santorum looks dumb.
      In this one, he needs some brown splotches on his nose & thumb.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Bring back Kortney!!!!

  • AddHomonym

    Bollocks!

  • anniegetyerfun

    Seriously, though, the rest of us didn't stand a chance against that.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      It's a matter of whim, timing, a-way-with-words and often brevity or such. Argh, who the fuck knows? Your honorable mention was well deserved!

      • anniegetyerfun

        Well, thank you, but I say the winner is really far out of my league. (esp her tits)

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    GRANT IS LEAVING T.A.P.S TOMORROW!
    I can't believe it. What will happen to the Ghost Hunters? My life will be changed forever. Please don't leave Grant. PLEASE!

    • C_R_Eature

      He's getting his own show. Leprechaun Hunters.

      • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

        You shut it!
        Think about what you're gonna do now, when you have a ghost running around in your house and and talking in your ears!

        • C_R_Eature

          Well they'll just have to take a number and get in line because the voices in my head come first!

        • George Spelvin

          Can you hire a Squatch?

          • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

            Well I hope they don't hire one of those International Ghost Hunters. They are terrible! The one chubby guy cries all the time. Ghost Hunters shouldn't cry on an investigation.

  • C_R_Eature

    "Finish the fucking story! What … what about the Glands?"
    – Raoul Duke

    • flamingpdog

      The other day I was reading in my primary source of true facts and information (other than teh Wikipedia), "Uncle John's Bathroom Reader", that when the girls were screaming so loud at Beatles' concerts that nobody could hear the words, John Lennon would sing, "I wanna hold your gla-a-a-a-a-and".

      • C_R_Eature

        Ha, that's good! It's also the version I sing if the song comes on the radio. I get looks, sometimes.

  • ttommyunger

    O.K., but how is this good news for John McCain?

    • George Spelvin

      He's still breathing, and married to a very rich woman?

      • ttommyunger

        Cunt-woman, by his own account.

  • flamingpdog

    OT, I got an e-mail this morning from soshulist film-maker Robert Greenwald, with the title line, "[pdog] Do You Want to Beat the Koch Brothers?", but sadly, there was no way to reply, "Yeah, With a Crowbar", even if you bought the DVD he was pimpin'.

    I've been spoiled by teh Wonkette.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    You're stoned. I was just here a few hours ago. Admittedly though, I do short drive-bys and there are a lot more posts to wade through then there used to be. Still the sentiment is greatly appreciated.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Say, it's OT but here's a good one:
    http://freebeacon.com/registered-dem-killed-trayv

    • flamingpdog

      Freecon Bea A!!

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Democraps: History's Greatest Monsters

  • barto

    Crap. 682 comments and not even an honorable mention. Oh well, back to workies!

  • SaintRond

    At times like these, why can't we just revisit some of Wonkettes' greatest hits?

    I nominate Orly Taitz's sex life. That was a really good one. The one where it was reported in court papers that she was "tighter and wetter than gals half her age."

    Peace… God bless…

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      "At times like these, why can't we just revisit some of Wonkettes' greatest"

      You must have misread the Editresse's intro. She says she resurrected the CoD because she[they] got bored. You're alluding to what we do when *we* get bored…
      or I'll just speak for myself.

  • dubyatf

    Congratulations on your rackognition, Missus!

    Hey, yawl, exsqueeze, please the O/T and also, I hope I'm not violating any rules BUT did you know that Starbucks is getting a huge amount of flak from yet another ironically named right wing org (the Nat'l Organ. For Marriage, which naturally brings to mind one Rick Santorum, the Big Dick Hetero Marriage poster goy) because Starbucks, which is a company I generally avoid like the plague/Fox news (synonyms) has come out in support of marriage equality. Supposably 10,000 NOMs have pledged to boycott Starbucks. Now, I don't believe for a minute that most of these creatures would wake up to anything more bracing than a hot cup of fugly and have therefore never breached the foyer of a single store belonging to the most ubiquitous frickin retail entity on the planet. So probly not a huge hit in economic terms. Still, it's the principle. You can sign a "giant Thank You card"
    at the following site (the goal is to reach 10 x more sigs than have been gathered by the Chromosome Impaired): http://pol.moveon.org/thankstarbucks/?id=38067-22

    • Barb

      Dub, I hate Starbucks. You could easier jump start your colon by drinking straight turpentine.

      People travel for business and pleasure. Starbucks is pretty much your only choice when you are in an airport. Do you want to "make ploppies" before you get on that plane or wait until you get on that plane? I'd rather "make a stinky" at the airport I am leaving than to risk having to wait for the pilot give my colon permission.

      PETA hasn't made a dent in McDonald's, McNugget abusers they are. If I bite into a McNugget and find a feather, I just find another one to dunk and get over it. Nine out of ten is better odds than you have at any casino in Vegas.

      Life is short, the large intestine is large, hence the name. I take mine with a splash of cream, thank you!

      • dubyatf

        Srsly, don't I know it. I always- but always-travel with my Bodum French press and muh coffee grinder. They're the first things I pack in my carry-on. Cream for me, too, please. With a bissel of cinnamon.
        Your rumination about parastalsis and the dilemma re: to plop or not to plop pre-flight reminded me of this (I'm going to read it again, now, and I ga-rohn-TEE something's gonna get wet. Either my cheeks or my Underoos. Please, you, too- read it and weep-or peep): http://www.flightsfromhell.com/wp-content/uploads

    • dubyatf

      Heh. Originally the goal was to gather 100,000 signatures and they're almost at 300K.
      When you want something done with a flourish, you turn to teh gays, amirite?
      Suck down THOSE balls, NOMnuts.

  • DrunkIrishman

    I DEMAND A RECOUNT!

    • RadioStalingrad

      It's not over until Katherine Harris' gets two years on the hill.

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Although there was considerable merit to "Bring me an iced tea, motherfucker," I believe you made the correct choice.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    I dunno, the winning entry comes off as sorta kinda rape-y.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    They were the ones eating the pie.

    • iburl

      They got the blueberry pie all over their face!

    • George Spelvin

      Really, don't ever change.

      • Negropolis

        He couldn't if he tried.

  • C_R_Eature

    Rebecca:
    I think it will be important, going forward, to try to eliminate some uncertainty in the Judging of our writings here. . I'm working up an analysis routine to properly quantify the relative Testicularity of future Wonkette posts.

    I am basing my equaitions on Teslacle's Deviant to Fudd's First Law of Opposition:
    It goes in, it must come out

    I will keep you apprised of my progress.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Hey guys, some really good looks at the Cranes can be seen right now
    http://www.rowesanctuary.org/crane%20cam.htm

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      They'll need one of those to take the house he built for her apart, much less to mend her heart or to help him start to see a world apart from pain.

  • Nopantsmcgee

    I'm pro ball-gobbling. And I vote.

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    It's an honor just to be nominated. Also, balls.

  • LiveToServeYa

    If I could just put in a word for TruckNutz because of Traditions.

  • DahBoner

    Balls

    A GAY ROBOT WITH A MOHAWK COULD DO THIS JOB…

  • keinsignal

    I will never understand your generation's humor.

  • crybabyboehner

    This site sure has gotten raunchy since that lady took over.