Gross, Bill O'Reilly. Gross.Admit it, sometimes you have fantasies about going on The O’Reilly Factor and schooling Ol’ Falafel Breath. But then you realize that as soon as you started with your O’Reilly School, he would just cut your mic, so you change your mind and fantasize about a nice cup of soup instead. But this brave lady from the American Constitution Society managed to make it all the way through a segment even with O’Reilly telling her he didn’t have to let her speak; introduced Billo to a few new things called “facts”; and got him to deliver a rare promise: that he would apologize “for being an idiot” if she ended up being right about the Supreme Court finding Obamacare constitutional. More plus superfun video, after the jump!

Here is Caroline Fredrickson. You can pretty much just fast-forward to about three minutes in. But be ashamed, dear Wonketeers: Bill agrees with you that the final vote will be 5-4.


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  • Barb

    What's up with O'Reilly's combover? It looks neither fair nor balanced.

    • V572 Hogan Gidley

      Old guys are so vain. It's humorous!

    • Callyson

      Plus, isn't it leaning to the left?

    • stncmchnc

      Looks like Billybaroo is gradually bringing back his beaverpellet headgear from his fuckit we'll do it live days.

  • Not_So_Much

    I can't watch him. Does he try to show her even angrier 'Little Bill' by the end?

  • Terry

    Just imagine what the right wing machine has in store if the Supreme Court upholds health care.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Meh. Just back to the same-ol' same-ol' race baiting.

    • SayItWithWookies

      John Roberts denounced as a traitor and a liberal media tool? That could be fun.

      • Doktor StrangeZoom

        Remember, a lot of the teahadis consider Orrin Hatch a RINO.

        • WunkRocker

          But honestly, they SCOTUS will fuck us all again. I think it is in the Constitution.

    • Callyson

      Screaming about activist judges (because, you know, it would be activist of them to uphold a law passed by Democrats) in 3…2…1…

    • Imagine the gloating if SCOTUS knocks it down. That will be unbearable.

      • We've dealt with worse. Haven't we? Oh, now you've got me losing all faith. All the realistic liberals and over-confident conservatives and endless clips of Fat Scalito on NPR all day didn't help much either.

        • fuflans

          yeah i'm pretty bloody depressed about this.

          • Well, we won't really know until late June. So no use worrying.

      • Naked_Bunny

        Yeah, they won't even realize that the unconstitutional legislation was the brainchild of conservatives, while the single-payer healthcare system that liberals wanted has been operating successfully for decades.

      • BornInATrailer

        But maybe then we'll have to push for single payer. You know, the option that actually made sense and fixed things. Silver lining and all.

        (fuck you insurance companies)

    • Negropolis

      Probably exactly what they have in store if the Supreme Court strikes it down. They've already construed this even being in court as a win, so the policy makers higher up don't really give a shit which way this is decided.

  • realmurkin

    I love how he pouted when she told him to read the legislation. Bill O'Reilly is a truculent idiot child.

  • meatlofer

    I thought he was in a coma,since St. Patty's Day!

  • JackObin

    The butter has slipped off this nation's noodles.

  • tbogg

    Militia Act? I don' know nothin' 'bout no steekin' militia act! Also, Bill forgot to compliment her about her spectacular boobs. Major courtesy fail.

    • beavertank

      He was just SO fixated on the constitution he completely lost sight of her amazing tatas.

    • Joey_Blau

      boobs? hmm maybe I could watch with the sound off…

    • Joey_Blau

      I was robbed! there were no tatas in that video.!

      she did have a good speaking style however…

  • If I was a lady I would have such a lady boner for Caroline Fredrickson.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Instead of just a regular boner?

    • What are you?

      • An Asexual Ungulate

        An asexual ungulate.

        …which is a good login name, now that I think of it.

        Edit: Lest this confuse anyone, my own comment was the impetus to make me figure out how to set a new display name. Sure hope it didn't seem so brilliant to me because I had seen someone else already using it.

    • nonbeliever7

      Well if I was a man…wait….
      *looks down*
      …yes, I do have a loofah boner for Caroline Hendrickson.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Whenever I bring up the Militia Act to the wingers, I get the same response.

  • Steverino247

    Well, if the government can make you purchase car insurance, they can make you buy health insurance, so go ahead, USSC, and make flood and car insurance no longer mandatory. I double dare ya. (My house is 100 yards within the mandatory flood insurance line drawn by the Feds before a flood control channel was built but will they change it? Noooo!)

  • …and I will apologize for being an idiot

    Honestly, I'm much more curious about the betting odds on that one.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      O'Reilly. That's Gaelic for "Welsh," right?

  • Amazing. Billy O had a constitution expert on his show and she didn't yell "Bring me an iced tea, motherfucker."

    • CivicHoliday

      It was an honor just to be nominated

  • WhatTheHeck

    Of course he’s yelling. He thought she was talking about the constipation of the U.S.

  • She should have told him to "look it up". Dumbass.

  • soeoho

    Did you edit the part where BO put his fingers in his ears and went neener-naner, neener- naner, I can't hear you!

  • If Apple announced it was adopting the business policies and practices of the East India Tea Company from the 18th Century, I suspect they would be laughed off the planet. So why does anyone think the US Constitution and it's "founders" had any magic formula for running a country?

    • Chichikovovich

      Because they were, and remain, the only political theorists with the brilliance to realize that a Constitution dedicated to Freedom was perfectly compatible with holding hundreds of thousands of people in chattel slavery.

      • BarackMyWorld

        ^Well put.^

        (both of you)

      • emmelemm


        Also, depressing.

      • Negropolis

        Fucking geniuses, every single one of them.

  • SayItWithWookies

    That was brilliant — I hope BillO's future apology for being an idiot is on pay-per-view.

    • HippieEsq

      I hope it's the setbreak entertainment for Phish summer tour.

  • Toomush_Infer

    That was so rewarding….Bill kept getting smaller and smaller….I was thinking that by the end of the clip, he'd take a nose dive into his own coat pocket…she was great…. such a slut…

  • I dare Billi-O to try to outshout Biden. He would get skullfucked in 30 seconds….

  • I bet he would have shut up and acted like a human if the woman had insisted on simply repeated "Andrea Mackris" until he behaved.

    • anniegetyerfun

      When his camera crew used to pounced on news editors that they didn't like, usually while the people were walking to get coffee while on vacation or something, he used to love showing the footage of them trying to scurry away while his pencil-necked little "producer" would shout, "What are you running from??! What do you have ti HIDE?!"

      I never understood why these people didn't just stop, look into the camera, and say "Falafel? Loofah?" until they stopped filming.

      • I never could figure out how none of them ever got assaulted and/or shot when they felt like screaming like psychos and trying to enter people's homes, vehicles, etc. But we all know that conservatives simply do not respect private property. All the Breitard trolls demonstrated that pretty well.

        • Naked_Bunny

          SYGA laws make shooting O'Reilly camera crews legal!

          • Would not even need one of those "stand your ground" laws in most states I have lived in to cover using force on an assailant entering someone's home.

          • Boojum

            SYGA is Stand Your Ground, Asshole?

  • elviouslyqueer

    What a bitter, sour-faced, cuntish waste of decaying protoplasm. Oh wait, sorry. I thought this was the Breitbart post.

    • CommieLibunatic

      Nah, I'd say you were right.

    • You've been hanging out with Limeylizzie too much!

  • SayItWithWookies

    I like how when Bill gets his facts wrong, he insists that they're just opinions, to which everyone is entitled without correction. And making someone pay a fine is a police power? Does that mean the nice lady behind the desk at the library should be wearing a badge and a gun?

    • CommieLibunatic

      All the gun nuts/Space Orks in the news these days can't stop talking about how EVERYONE needs a gun to be safe, so why not the librarians?

      • twaingirl

        Good. Guns in the library. That'll stop the frat boys from playing football in the reference section.

  • The way she stood her ground to Bill-O? Makes those gunhuggers and the bylaws they hide behind look like pansies.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    FIrst in fap!!!

  • FakaktaSouth

    She was NOT GOING TO LET HIM START WITH A FALSE PREMISE QUESTION?? Where does she think she is? Bill DOES NOT have all night lady – HOW absurd of you – YOU ARE going to answer his question based on what the government compels you to buy when the government is not compelling you to buy something! 999. or 5-4 5-4 sorry.

    That was real low key for Bill and he looks thin. Is he doing the "I need a heart" diet too?

    • anniegetyerfun

      He does look a little worn down. I though bile was fattening? Just going by Limbaugh's looks, actually.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        The steady diet of crow must be getting to him.

  • HobbesEvilTwin

    Bill O'Reilly apologizing for being an idiot is like water apologizing for being wet.

  • coolhandnuke

    Coccotti: Sicilians are great liars. The best in the world. I'm Sicilian. My father was the world heavyweight champion of Sicilian liars. Growin' up with him I learned the pantomime. There are seventeen different things a guy can do when he lies to give him away. A guy's got seventeen pantomimes. A woman's got twenty, but a guy's got seventeen. And if you know 'em like ya know your own face, they beat lie detectors to hell. Now, what we got here is a little game of show and tell. You don't wanna show me nothin'. But you're tellin' me everything. Now I know you know where they are. So tell me, before I do some damage you won't walk away from.

    Billo showed four pantomines when he said "I've read the legislation."

    • I"m very interested in your techniques and hope to attend your class at the University of Phoenix®.

      • coolhandnuke

        There are still some open slots for my Summer class True Romance 101 with professor Frank Booth. I grade on a Pabst and nitrous giving scale.

  • Wilcoxyz

    Needs moar studio audience chants of "USA! USA!" when he doesn't let her speak.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Men who interrupt women are carbuncles on the behind of humanity.

    • Biff

      The "word in edgewise" meme didn't spring forth from whole cloth, I've known several women that dominated every conversation unless interrupted.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Geez. My wife was like that when I first married her; she gets it from her dad. The whole family just shouted over each other constantly (Irish/Croatian/Spanish/Italian family dynamics).

        It's taken 20 years of marriage to Silent Sam like me to learn and appreciate actually listening to what the other person says before refuting them.

  • HobbesEvilTwin

    hmmmm, I've never had the federal government require me to buy social security insurance or medicare … oh wait.

    • extreme_left

      kinda disappointed she didn't do a body slam on BO with that

  • anniegetyerfun

    And now I am hungry for falafel AND soup. Like I wasn't already eating for two, thanks.

    • Biff

      Is this a desperate cry for a babby shower?

      • HistoriCat

        A Wonkette baby shower – that would be fucking awesome. Half the attendees would drink all the booze and the other half would be pissed since they can't/don't drink. Then everyone could go find a group of tea partiers or Ron Paul supporters and make fun of them.

        I'm in.

      • 102415

        I'm in. And awwwwwwwwwww, congratulations to our Wonkette Moms.
        Our little wee Wonkette babies are going to be sooo mean and sooo cute.

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    When has the government ever been able to force people to buy a product?

    Well you see, Bill, your assumptions there are…

    Look, I don't care if my assumptions are wrong, I asked a question and I demand you answer it, even if my assumptions are so screwy that your answer is meaningless! My show, my assumptions!

    You're an ass, Bill.

    Perhaps, but I assume I am a genius, so I win.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Just embrace it Bill. Don't apologize for being yourself.

  • Callyson

    "I think it would be good if you read the legislation"
    God, she's optimistic…thinking BillO would ever read anything (besides the Penthouse Forum that is…)

  • arihaya

    BIll promising to apologize is like Hannity promising to be waterboarded, it's all bullshit.

  • The older he gets the more pathetic his attempts to adopt a bullying stance seem. I'll quite enjoy watching the slow course of diminished function overtake him as he ushers in his Years of Decrepitude.

    • dubyatf

      I think that ship's already sailed, mr.

  • PuckStopsHere

    The government, the FEDERAL government, made me buy a war in Iraq and another in Afghanistan and I don't even use the goddamn things.

    • anniegetyerfun

      They don't even match my general decor. So tacky.

  • FakaktaSouth

    You know it would devolve in to a Stock the Bar party – which seriously, by the time you get done with the 40week stretch, even if you've never been a drinker before, I highly recommend it. Sober parenting is for suckers.

    • anniegetyerfun

      I was an exceptional drinker before this. I would kill an old lady for a glass of champagne right now.

      • twaingirl

        Annie, I'm 17 weeks pregnant and after my first trimester, they let me have some beer and wine occasionally. A beer a week, maximum or 2 glasses of wine. All the Europeans do it. Which is awesome.

      • Boojum

        I have champagne and know an old lady, so….

  • This woman is a by-God legal scholar I've invited on my show to espouse a legal opinion. Damn right I'm not going to let her talk!

    Ugh. This is not a good week in the nest. I might wander away and throw myself off an ice shelf. The sound of right-wingers screeching about health care being the worst attack on FREEDOM! since the lobsterbacks shelled New York isn't helping.

    • emmelemm

      Nooo! Don't throw youself off an ice shelf. The rest of us Wonketteers will surround you in a circle with our backs out toward the storm, like in the March of the Penguins movie.

      • Geminisunmars

        I would tuck you in under my gigantic boosooms, so you'd be safe and warm.

  • CommieLibunatic

    Oh, Reilly. You need to slip into something comfortable, put on some music, light some candles, get some wine in you, and go fuck yourself.

    • Biff

      Perhaps get in a nice hot tub, open a vein…

      • Boojum

        Or a vain, of which he has many.

  • BarackMyWorld

    In Bill's defense, "American Constitutional Society" does sound like something a right-wing PAC would call itself.

    • Yes, indeed. Choose any word from the following list:
      Constitutional, Freedom, Liberty, Independence, Revolution, Founders, Capitalist, Federalist, Enterprise, Open Market, Growth, Conservative, Self-Reliance, Courage, Conviction, Christian, Judeo-Christian, Orthodox, Traditionalist, God-fearing …

      Follow it with another word from this list:
      Society, Club, League, Association, Confederation, Federation, Fraternity, Partnership, Fellowship, Coalition, Assembly …

      And slap the word American in front of it and you've got yourself a PAC.

  • Fredrickson showed a lot of restraint toward the end. She could have rolled her eyes and said "The Militia Act, 1792, as everyone in the world knows".

  • Pig-headed = Strong
    Ignorant = Wise
    Loud = Right
    Opinion = Fact

    O'Reilly = Punchline

    (George Orwell would be so proud.)

  • PhilippePetain

    "…and I will apologize for being an idiot. "

    You know, the way it's phrased seems to recognize the fact of actual idiocy being extant, and promises the apology.

  • MinAgain

    "I think it would be good for you to read the legislation." I want this printed on a T-shirt, stat.

  • Biff

    In this case, my congratulations and/or condolences to you.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Bull O'Really? can hold his own in any conversation with a person who has no facts. Once this very polite lady started up with the specifics ("When did the Federal government require you to buy something?" he barked smugly; she correctly pointed out the first time was well before 1800) poor Bull was quite lost.

    We also know he can hold his own while making a harassing telephone call. Also.

  • Biff

    My gawd, what a douche he is!

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Here's a question for the wingnuts: why is it that they're shitting
    themselves blind over being forced to purchase health insurance
    but don't shit themselves blind over being forced to sign up for
    Selective SlaveryService? Seriously, what is it wrong with
    these fucking assholes that makes them so pissed off about being required to buy
    health insurance but doesn't piss them off about being forced to sign up for a system
    where the government basically says "go to war or go to jail." I'd find
    being forced to join the military to be a far greater threat to my freedom
    and happiness than being forced to purchase health insurance.

    Perhaps the reason that the wingnuts don't shit themselves over the
    Selective Slavery Service Act is because they
    figure that if there's ever another military draft they'll just dodge
    it the way that the wingnuts who came of age during the Vietnam-era
    dodged the Vietnam-era draft.

  • stncmchnc

    Frank Burns, Ted Baxter, Judge Smails, Bill O'Reilly. Ted Knight FTW! Apologies to Larry Linville.

  • owhatever

    The federal gummint does not force anyone to pay taxes, but your ass is going to prison if you don't. It doesn't force males to sign up for Selective Service at age 18, but you're going to prison if you don't. It doesn't force you to follow any law, but you're going to jail if you don't. Oh. Is that jail thing really forcing someone to do anything?

  • ttommyunger

    Facts move in, volume goes up, who can explain it? I can: Bill-O is a big dumb cunt.

  • Negropolis

    On this general issues, I just need to say that this is why the Dems should have went for all or nothing on healthcare. If we'd have just made this an unabashed healthcare tax, like everyone knows we should have, and this shit wouldn't even have made it up to the Supremes.

    So, this thing is constitutional if you ask me, but there shouldn't have been any doubt left about it. Put everyone on Medicare and be done with it.

  • miked420

    Did anyone catch Bill's "snort o' wrath"? He sniffles at 4:14 of the video above… And it looks awfully familiar…. Check out this clip at 0:49 –

  • George Spelvin

    Well, this gives an additional reason to hope for the SCROTUS to uphold the Big Bucks for Insurance Companies Act,

    Brillo will admit to being an idiot. (and I hope Ms. Frederickson will harass him about it).

  • EBGrey

    O’Reilly has a third falafel ball?

  • stroge

    why even bother having anyone come on the show if you just shout them down and yell at them? isn't talk show 101 about letting the guest speak?

  • JustPixelz

    I don't know what that means, but it rings true. Also, where did the butter go? (I'm looking at you, Newt.)

  • JustPixelz

    Things the government makes you buy:
    Smoke alarms
    War in Afghanistan
    Sports stadiums
    Health care for uninsured

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