Blowjob. The word is “blowjob.” And scores of Old Hollywood has apparently had their tumescent, swollen cocks in her mouth, and apparently she was GREAT at it, which is the first good thing about Nancy Reagan we have ever heard.
Variety reports the former first lady will be portrayed, hopefully, by American icon Jane Fonda, a lovely woman who will burn in hell for being anti-American and sitting on a tank once 40 years ago, and also for starring in Monster-in-Law. Wingnuts, predictably, are outraged, as Nancy Reagan is a sainted lady who is universally beloved for being married to an amoral fraud for a fairly long time, maybe boning Frank Sinatra, and wearing lots of bows. [Variety]
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Just say no! (to this movie)
Next, on a very special episode of Dif'rent Strokes.
(Just say no didn't work with those kids, did it?)
And then there was the time Nancy sat on Mr. T's lap. He was dressed as Santa, as I recall. Good times.
I thought she was on Diff'rent Strokes.
IDK, anything that makes the wingnuts this pissed has something going for it…
Dennis Hopper would have played a great Ronnie.
Gary Busey?
LIKE a drummm.
Reprisal of his role on "Blue Velvet"…?
YOU KNOW WHAT A FUCKIN' JELLYBEAN IS? IT'S A BULLET FROM A FUCKIN' GUN, FUCKER!!!
Well, they Are both dead. Unless somebody pulled up zombie Reagan, which is more than I want to think about.
Hervé Villechaize
Hanoi Jane must love making wingnut heads explode.
She could suck start a Presidency.
Most Presidencies wait until after the first 100 days to suck
They should have cast Cally Lou instead?
Blowjob. The word is “blowjob.”
Certainly lends new meaning to the old Frank Zappa song.
Baby take your teeth out
There ain't nothin' left to talk about.
Or the old Dead Kennedys song, "Too Drunk to Fuck":
You give me head
that makes it worse,
Take out your fuckin' retainer, put it in your purse!
Umm, uh….You can leave your hat on…?
I always preferred Catholic Girls.
I’m outraged too Nancy was way less consistently rational.
I believe the word is furious.
Yes, I like "furious".
Whoever dreamed up this casting achieved sweet perfection… *guaranteed* to make wingnut heads explode.
Left wing actor Peter Boyle did an amazing job as the hard-hat lead character in "Joe".
Excuse me, I need to go consult Nancy's astrologer before I can comment on this.
Well let's see what you've got for this week…
http://www.theonion.com/articles/your-horoscopes-…
"While the smiling old woman isn't lying about her award-winning cupcakes, she is withholding crucial information regarding the depraved and sadistic nature of the local cupcake awards."
For balance — and thanks to a fat-tipped black Sharpie® — James Carville will play Ronald Reagan.
A post where we can finally say "Skullfucking Nancy Reagan"? Oh happy day!
Nancy was teabagging before teabagging was cool.
Nancy may have invented teabagging for all we know, she just called it tongueing Ronnie's raisins.
You have changed a life this good day. You have changed a life.
You think the choice of Jane as Nancy has 'em going, wait till they announce that flaming liberal George Clooney is going to play Saint Ronnie. Let the bodies hit the floor!
Whoever plays Ronnie will have to forget his lines from time to time.
The Jimmy Fallon it is!
that would be sweet heaven. Clooney could even play it a little gay and really get them on the floors rolling around with heart attacks..
Jazzercise and Jelly Beans!
And stolen china
I know! Don't they realize the real Nancy Reagan is still alive?
It's Ronnie that they don't know is dead.
He is not! He ascended bodily into White Heaven!
There you go again…
They also don't have a clue what he did or who he was. (psst: not big on history!)
They also don't have a clue what he did or who he was. (psst: not big on history!)
Mostly arming Iran. And Iraq. And religious nuts in Afghanistan. Good thing nothing bad came of that and all the problems in that region are due to Clinton's penis and Obama's black ski-er, "socialism".
Also raised taxes. Liberalized abortion as governor of California. Sent the Marines to Lebanon with no clear mission, no exit strategy. IOKIYAR. (It's OK If You Are Reagan)
And about as cognizant as ronnie was in the 80's!
Not to me.
Also, by the account in The Acting President, Nancy was an insufferable imperious b*tch (bitch — the word is bitch) who thought she ran the Reagan administration and who had her own personal aide, Michael Deaver, just to keep her under control.
lest she interfere with the other aides who really did run the administration.
ALEXANDER HAIG LIBEL !!!!!111!1!
So… Nancy Reagan was what the GOP accused Hillary Clinton of being?
Oh, far worse. After Deaver was gone, Nancy was unleashed, and had a horrible sniping war with then-Chief of Staff Don Regan, whom she wanted kicked out. When she'd run into him in the hall, she'd often greet him with "Oh, hello Don — I didn't know you were still here."
So… Nancy Reagan was what the GOP accused Hillary Clinton of being?
The term is "projection". Republicans are obsessed with doing it for some strange reason.
"Nancy was an insufferable imperious b*tch (bitch — the word is bitch) who thought she ran the Reagan administration"
Yeah, "thought".
No, but seriously, Monster-in-Law is a cause for expulsion from this country, if nothing else.
She seems to have made a good beard, too.
So while everybody's talking about blow jobs, tell me more about this boat. I'm just gonna kneel down here and listen…(I am the queen) AND, also, ONCE AGAIN, it is unhelpful that you have a life and no password (or whatever the hell your problem is). LimeyLizzie was just saying there needs to be some sort of run down on the Supremes and the Broccoli Obamacares About…and all that shit. Should we be mad???
Wait, so the famous aerobics instructor Jane Fonda is trying to get into acting now?
Well, no point in not trying to stretch your wings…
Oh come now, I can't let that go. What's wrong with Jane Fonda as an actress? (see "Walk on the Wild Side" or "Tout Va Bien" – but there are many other fine performances I'd defend against all unkind snarkiness).
It's more mocking them for harping on an event that was so long ago, by someone who's acting career is only remembered by the very old. Vietnam is ancient history that ended well before the majority of us alive today were born, even olds like myself.
Doesn't stop there being a "Hanoi Jane" urinal target in the men's room of the gun store I shoot at regularly. I thought it might be an antique, but I saw a stack of them at a gun show last year.
Well, when you're still seething over a war which ended in 1865, Vietnam might as well have been last week.
NEVAR FORGET!!!
Oh, okay, thanks, got it.
Hey, wait a minute! "who's acting career is only remembered by the very old"??? I'll have you know, you young whippersnapper, that I'm not a day over, well…just plain old…
You're old? Hahahahahahahahahahaha.
All downhill after Cat Ballou…..
Well, there was Klute, and Coming Home…
Although neither of them had Lee Marvin.
And I believe I speak for everyone born after the Ford administration or so when I say "Jane who?"
Barbarella.
Best known for starring Marcel Marceau as a blind angel, and giving a famous British New Romantic band their name.
Best known to an adolescent TDD for Boobies.
I have never heard the blowjob story. I would have been a wild addition to Nancy Reagan Day celebrations in Chicago.
You would have? Oh Maman! (Ha, now you can't correct your typo!)
Nancy Reagan was in Barbarella?
She played "Dildano".
Hello, pretty-pretty.
Nancy Reagan was in Barbarella?
She was under Durand Durand's desk.
They did ask Kirk Cameron first but he had prior commitments.
Can Kirk Cameron even sign a contract to act in a movie/show/etc? Or is there a Get Of Rapture Free clause written in?
That would be typical. He gets raptured up in the middle of a shoot and his Jewish agent is left behind to clean up the contractual mess.
And Jason Sudeikis has to finish filming.
Cuz Greek Orthodox are still on the Julian calendar so they get Raptured twelve days later.
He would be afraid of the feelings that pretending to have an affair with Frank Sinatra would unlock in him.
Pretending?
"They did ask Kirk Cameron"
To play Ronnie, or to play Nancy?
I guess he got stuck holding the bananna.
"the first good thing about Nancy Reagan we have ever heard."
I don't know, it's very much a double edged sword. I mean, good head, yay! But from Nancy Reagan, aiee!
When you're discussing that protruding part of the anatomy, do NOT mention double edged swords. Also, no teeth.
I think good head is always yay! Either you like her, in which case it is a loving expression of her desire to bring you pleasure or you don't, in which case you have your dick in her mouth.
Precisely. Close your eyes and think of Angelina Jolie.
When she gave her testimony about how embryonic stem cell research may have saved Ronnie from dying an Alzheimer's death, the looks on the Republiklans faces was pretty special to see.
I put that in the Pro Nancy Reagan column.
More of a double-sided sheath…just sayin'…
How many millions of our tax dollars has Socialist Nancy cost us? She's been on the government's dime since the 60s – and nobody ever cast a ballot for her. I bet her taxpayer funded healthcare plan covers abortions.
Um, you can't get pregnant that way.
Too late; she was three months pregnant when she married Ronzo.
Speaking of blowjobs, can Callista act?
Her whole existence is performance art.
She gave Newt head, so I gotta think yes
She's married to Gingrich and the girl's dripping with diamonds. But of course.
What a Ho….Chi Minh.
Now that's some high quality commenting gold right there. Very well played.
Congratulations Jane! break a hip!
"..Old Hollywood [types] had their tumescent, swollen cocks in [Nancy's] mouth…", including Fatty Arbuckle. So when's *that* movie coming out?
Actually, pretty soon
Nah, she was like 12 when Arbuckle died.
"You want a job [in Hollywood], right?"
Did her horoscope predict this…..?
Zombie Breitbart has story with picture of 'Hanoi Jane' with VC: http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Hollywood/2012/03/26…
Considering the average Breitbart purveyor couldn't find Vietnam on a map if you spotted them Asia, prepare for the fauxrage.
Two comments. First I,m sure I've seen a wider angle version of that picture, in which it was obvious that Jane wasn't wearing a bra. Second, the wingnuts over at breitbart are talking about Hanoi John Kerry as well as Hanoi Jane, can anyone explain?
Yes, Pub, John Kerry, after winning his eight million Silver Stars and Navy Crosses and whatever, which the wingnuts later mocked with their purple heart bandaids, he testified to end the war, and threw out some of his medals. (But then later sneaked back and got em, cute.) So he is a traitor and etc.
I didn't really think that the medal incident and his testimony was sufficient for the soubriquet 'Hanoi', but then, I'm not a wingnut.
The film is about a blah man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
edit: In The White House!!!!
I humbly offer my services for her rehearsal process.
Right next in line. Got a lot of sun damage now, but I lost track of how many times I've seen Barbarella. That scene in the cone is imprinted on my brain forever.
Time to load up the Palin family vacation/political bus to go onsite to California's Eureka College to see Ronnie's college years be filmed. Enjoy that, Sarah!
As hard as it is for me to believe that that stupid old bastard set foot on a college campus even to sweep the floors, I think he went the Eureka College in Eureka, Illinois.
Tessie, Palin gave a speech in California and said that Ronnie went to the Cali one, not Illinois.
Which was especially cool because there is no "Eureka College" in Cali.
Shhh, Palin will tweet her rage at you and post horrible things about you on her Facebook page, that is well scrubbed of any negative comments, and then she will say you are the "lamestream media" You betcha'!
I hear Nancy was about as good as Albert Pujols in her ability to "go deep"
Pro-blow and pro-blowjob? What a hip lady!
Edit: Yet another of my famous HTML fails.
Reagan's adopted son Michael can play Bonzo.
Isn't that who he plays on his radio show? I listened one day but all I heard was a lot of poop-flinging.
"And this is our adopted son, Michael."
Nancy probably blew Jane's dad so it's kind of like it's all in the family.
wearing lots of bows
HAIL TO THE NECKERCHIEF!
Does her nose appear to be dripping a bit in that picture? That indicates that she's full!
Sometimes I feel kinda sorry for the wingnutz. Being this outraged all the time must be exhausting.
Aw, they live for it. A day without incoherent rage at a chimera is a day without sunshine.
The announcement on breitbart.com/Big-Hollywood/ has brought forth the intended comments:
Hey Jane – I'm a Vietnam veteran, and I personally despise you and all that you and your other Hollywood commies stand for. Did you enjoy your frolic with the same men who were trying to kill our own boys who were fighting the communist scourge? Do you ever feel like the true piece of shit you are for betraying your own country, where you live in lavish style? Been to Arlington Cemetery recently? Pray I don't ever see you in public, or I will embarrass you so badly, you'll wish you'd been hung for the traitor you are.
Which brought forth this reply:
Also a Vietnam vet who thinks Hanoi Jane along with Hanoi John Kerry should have been tried as traitors and shot.
I think I've been exposed to bikers enough to be automatically annoyed by anybody who feels the need to preface anything they say with "As a Vietnam veteran…"
I can honestly say that not a single Vietnam Vet I know uses the term "communist scourge".
Now who's the piece of shit?
They can't fool me – I heard all about that Vietnam action when Kerry was running in 2004. So anyone claiming to be a vet is probably a fake.
Reap what you sow motherfuckers.
Irony, thy name is wingnuttia.
At this point I'm sure Hane is either oblivious to the displaced, perennial rage of these vets or, alternately, secretly considers said d.r. so many feathers in her cap.
Isn't one of the reasons we send our young men and women to be maimed, killed, and tortured (and to return the favor) in manufactured "wars" * the ostensible preservation of the rights of 'Mericans to exercise their First Amendment rights? Hahahaha! I know, good one, right?
Besides, she SAID she was sorry. But since she did not immediately follow her apology with the act of hari kiri she probably wasn't being sincere.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-who-fought-f…
"As someone who risked his life for this country, I am infuriated when I see protesters exercising their First Amendment rights [...] "I didn't fight the Japanese at Midway to save democracy for a bunch of long-haired jerks who want to freely express their views."
"I love the Constitution, and I nearly lost my life defending it," [...] "That's why it angers me so much to see malcontents exploiting it for their own purposes."
Wait'll they find out the starring character is a blah man (Eugene Allen, White House butler for several decades). The Reagans just have a bit part.
Mrs Gobblecocks, suck down my balls!
This is Hollywood fantasy. The fact is that Ronald Reagan was the cocksucker. He was an evil bastard who was married to an evil bitch. These are just the facts. It is little wonder these two are heroes of the right. Ronnie and Mommie represent everything these miserable cocksuckers are all about. They represent the worst America has to offer. And for that, I hate them. I hated them then and I hate them now.
Geez, Puck – say what you mean….
Thank you. I don't have to comment.
We always knew she sucked, but wow.
#sheblowsalot
Ann Coulter could play the "Cunt".
reagan's "work" with the HUAC proved what a hateful little shit he was, and it must have rubbed off on Mommy. (ew)
Wouldn't it be great if the titular butler in this movie caught Nancy smoking a joint?
Huh huh huh, you said "titular".
Tits have butlers? Shit. Where do I apply for the job?
Let the healing begin.
And hereI thought that Sarah Palin was the only blow-jobber alive who could disjoint her jaw.
So THAT is how Ronnie got all those male Democrats in Congress to vote for his ideas!
All I see in that photo is Ecstasy. It makes me shudder with such joy that I am almost in pain. No! No! Don't! Stop!
Interestingly, I've had sexual relations with Jane Fonda AND Nancy Reagan. But not at the same time! Jane was better–more physical. Reagan kept calling out, "FRANKIE," which spoiled the mood.
Though the ability to cal out "FRANKIE" with a cock down her throat was an admittedly rare skill.
Jaws IV.
Everyone should see "Barberella" and "Klute" before they die. Then you'll REALLY like Jane Fonda.
What – Joan Rivers wanted too much money?
She could have saved the producers money on hairdressing.
The Crypt Keeper had a scheduling conflict.
Here's some more casting for this project, announced by Liberal Media Film Productions, the project's production company:
1. Bill Maher as George Bush.
2. Janeanne Garolfalo as Madeline Albright.
3. Jon Stewart as James Watt.
4. Jason Alexander as James Baker.
5. James Carville as Lee Atwater.
6. John Goodman as Edwin Meese.
7. Olive Platt as Oliver North.
8. Heather Locklear as Fawn Hall.
9. David Cronenberg as David Stockman.
10. Al Franken as Al Haig.
Heather Locklear is a Republican.
But she's liberal, left, hot, and caucuses with the Democrats.
"John Goodman as Edwin Meese"
John Goodman shall forever be Linda Tripp:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J59R4XDy1zo
OLIVER Platt, that is.
Personally I think an old sock puppet with glued-on googly eyes would have been a better choice – But hey, what do I know about acting?
How dare these Hollywood Jews cast Fonda. I think the message couldn't be more clear here if Charles Darwin had been buried in a church.
Nice three-rail shot.
I resemble this remark, and shyly decline to comment.
Who knew Nancy was a job creator…she gave Ronny his first pacific rim job.
Most fappable Wonkette post in days. That counts for something, no?
Of course she was great at it; it's obviously the only source of calories that skeletor-looking bitch ever ingested.
I agree. Jane is FAR too intelligent to play Mommy Raygun. I see the vapid Ann Coulter in the part.
Wouldn't all the blowjob scenes then be gay porn?
I wonder if, during Jane Fonda's relationship with
Ted Turner, he used the threat of Barbarella when they fought.
"Keep it up Jane, go ahead and keep it up, but if you do I'm scheduling a
Barbarella marathon on TBS. Seriously, all Barbarella
all the time."
I mean it's probably the only thing he could have done since
she was so ripped from all the aerobics and easily could have kicked
Ted's ass.
Nah – she lived down the tawdriness of that movie long ago – showing it to the overwhelmingly male TBS audience would just remind them how srsly fuckable she was back on the day… and since she still looked MILFy during the Turner marriage, her business mgr (not His – *Her's*) could've just bought the commercial time to sell DVDs of her good movies and her unmistakeably sexualized workout videos… Ca-ching!
She sat on a anti-aircraft gun dammit! Not a tank!
Now, you kids get off my lawn!
I'm trying to work in a pearl necklace comment but I'm too stoned and my brain synapses are not cooperating. Can anyone help me out here?
As your doctor, I advise you to smoke another doob…
Does she swallow or spit?
WAIT!!!
Don't spoil the ending for me…
Ask Ed Meese!
"She kissed Mr T.
Mr T. has a big skull
Nancy plants her lips upon
Big Pepe shot up red
Nancy sips between the spread
The CIA is after me
Because Nancy sucked off Mr T.
Nancy’s juices flow Potomac blue
I came on Nancy, I have spewed
Mr. T. rammed jizz in her hair
While Nancy had a press conference
Ted Koppel had a hard on
Nancy sucked off Sam Donaldson instead
But Nancy’s bladder busted pee
Because Nancy swallowed Mr T."
–"Nancy Reagan" by the Sun City Girls
Fonda Jane? Damn right I am.
Francisco Franco is sore displeased.
Just another liberal being rammed down the throats of conservatives. Seriously I don't know how they can swallow this. Maybe Ted Hagard can help.
but she's an actress, that's what they do, she's playing Nancy not herself. Just like Julianne Moore, who's liberal, played that cuckoo nut job right winger fake christian Palin.
Does anything NOT outrage these right-wing jackoffs? I mean seriously, they seem to be in a perpetual state of fuming and outrage and anger and bile.
I hope this movie has a lot of cock sucking scenes
This is almost as disgusting as Meryl Streep portraying Lord Margaret Thatcher even though Streep is not British, nor a Tory, nor a confidant of Ronald Reagan!
Nancy, I know Jane Fonda. Jane Fonda is a friend of mine. Nancy, you're no Jane Fonda.
I totally missed your comment before I posted mine. lol It's funny be operated in direct contrast to one another.
Great minds run the same course!.:)
If you put it in quotes, it ain't libel!
I knew Nancy Reagan. Nancy Reagan was a friend-with-benefits of mine. Jane Fonda, you are no Nancy Reagan…thank god.
Kinda brings a new context to her "Diff'rent Strokes" guest appearance…
True story: when I was a flight attendant, a close friend, also a F/A, had the Reagans on the plane; this was before Ron ran for prez. My friend asked Ron what he wanted, he ordered, then she asked Nancy. Nancy said nothing. My friend asked again: still Nancy didn't respond. Finally, Ron speaks up and says "My wife doesn't speak to the help".
It will be interesting to see if she speaks to the butler in this film.
Sure, laugh now, but when Victoria Jackson plays Stanley Ann Dunham in " Mission to Kenya", you won't think it's so funny.
Okay , maybe you will.
Nancy created the Tea Party in the 40s, but it just involved getting tea bagged by producers to get an acting job
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