that's why the lady is a tramp

Wingnuts Outraged by Casting of Elegant Actress Jane Fonda as ‘Blow*** Queen’ Nancy Reagan

Can't be Nancy, she's got no cankles.Blowjob. The word is “blowjob.” And scores of Old Hollywood has apparently had their tumescent, swollen cocks in her mouth, and apparently she was GREAT at it, which is the first good thing about Nancy Reagan we have ever heard.

Variety reports the former first lady will be portrayed, hopefully, by American icon Jane Fonda, a lovely woman who will burn in hell for being anti-American and sitting on a tank once 40 years ago, and also for starring in Monster-in-Law. Wingnuts, predictably, are outraged, as Nancy Reagan is a sainted lady who is universally beloved for being married to an amoral fraud for a fairly long time, maybe boning Frank Sinatra, and wearing lots of bows. [Variety]

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    1. Generation[redacted]

      Next, on a very special episode of Dif'rent Strokes.

      (Just say no didn't work with those kids, did it?)

      1. Rosie_Scenario

        And then there was the time Nancy sat on Mr. T's lap. He was dressed as Santa, as I recall. Good times.

    1. Warwhatgoodfor

      Well, they Are both dead. Unless somebody pulled up zombie Reagan, which is more than I want to think about.

  1. BaldarTFlagass

    Blowjob. The word is “blowjob.”

    Certainly lends new meaning to the old Frank Zappa song.

    Baby take your teeth out
    There ain't nothin' left to talk about.

    1. tessiee

      Or the old Dead Kennedys song, "Too Drunk to Fuck":

      You give me head
      that makes it worse,
      Take out your fuckin' retainer, put it in your purse!

  2. emmelemm

    Whoever dreamed up this casting achieved sweet perfection… *guaranteed* to make wingnut heads explode.

  3. memzilla

    For balance — and thanks to a fat-tipped black Sharpie® — James Carville will play Ronald Reagan.

    1. hagajim

      Nancy may have invented teabagging for all we know, she just called it tongueing Ronnie's raisins.

  4. BaldarTFlagass

    You think the choice of Jane as Nancy has 'em going, wait till they announce that flaming liberal George Clooney is going to play Saint Ronnie. Let the bodies hit the floor!

    1. Joey_Blau

      that would be sweet heaven. Clooney could even play it a little gay and really get them on the floors rolling around with heart attacks..

        1. glamourdammerung

          They also don't have a clue what he did or who he was. (psst: not big on history!)

          Mostly arming Iran. And Iraq. And religious nuts in Afghanistan. Good thing nothing bad came of that and all the problems in that region are due to Clinton's penis and Obama's black ski-er, "socialism".

        2. JustPixelz

          Also raised taxes. Liberalized abortion as governor of California. Sent the Marines to Lebanon with no clear mission, no exit strategy. IOKIYAR. (It's OK If You Are Reagan)

  5. SayItWithWookies

    Also, by the account in The Acting President, Nancy was an insufferable imperious b*tch (bitch — the word is bitch) who thought she ran the Reagan administration and who had her own personal aide, Michael Deaver, just to keep her under control.

      1. SayItWithWookies

        Oh, far worse. After Deaver was gone, Nancy was unleashed, and had a horrible sniping war with then-Chief of Staff Don Regan, whom she wanted kicked out. When she'd run into him in the hall, she'd often greet him with "Oh, hello Don — I didn't know you were still here."

    1. tessiee

      "Nancy was an insufferable imperious b*tch (bitch — the word is bitch) who thought she ran the Reagan administration"

      Yeah, "thought".

  6. anniegetyerfun

    No, but seriously, Monster-in-Law is a cause for expulsion from this country, if nothing else.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      So while everybody's talking about blow jobs, tell me more about this boat. I'm just gonna kneel down here and listen…(I am the queen) AND, also, ONCE AGAIN, it is unhelpful that you have a life and no password (or whatever the hell your problem is). LimeyLizzie was just saying there needs to be some sort of run down on the Supremes and the Broccoli Obamacares About…and all that shit. Should we be mad???

    1. OneYieldRegular

      Oh come now, I can't let that go. What's wrong with Jane Fonda as an actress? (see "Walk on the Wild Side" or "Tout Va Bien" – but there are many other fine performances I'd defend against all unkind snarkiness).

      1. SorosBot

        It's more mocking them for harping on an event that was so long ago, by someone who's acting career is only remembered by the very old. Vietnam is ancient history that ended well before the majority of us alive today were born, even olds like myself.

        1. GunToting[Redacted]

          Doesn't stop there being a "Hanoi Jane" urinal target in the men's room of the gun store I shoot at regularly. I thought it might be an antique, but I saw a stack of them at a gun show last year.

        2. HistoriCat

          Well, when you're still seething over a war which ended in 1865, Vietnam might as well have been last week.

        3. OneYieldRegular

          Oh, okay, thanks, got it.

          Hey, wait a minute! "who's acting career is only remembered by the very old"??? I'll have you know, you young whippersnapper, that I'm not a day over, well…just plain old

    2. Guppy

      And I believe I speak for everyone born after the Ford administration or so when I say "Jane who?"

      1. doloras

        Best known for starring Marcel Marceau as a blind angel, and giving a famous British New Romantic band their name.

    1. MissTaken

      Can Kirk Cameron even sign a contract to act in a movie/show/etc? Or is there a Get Of Rapture Free clause written in?

      1. Generation[redacted]

        That would be typical. He gets raptured up in the middle of a shoot and his Jewish agent is left behind to clean up the contractual mess.

        1. actor212

          And Jason Sudeikis has to finish filming.

          Cuz Greek Orthodox are still on the Julian calendar so they get Raptured twelve days later.

    2. SorosBot

      He would be afraid of the feelings that pretending to have an affair with Frank Sinatra would unlock in him.

  7. BaldarTFlagass

    "the first good thing about Nancy Reagan we have ever heard."

    I don't know, it's very much a double edged sword. I mean, good head, yay! But from Nancy Reagan, aiee!

    1. Boojum

      I think good head is always yay! Either you like her, in which case it is a loving expression of her desire to bring you pleasure or you don't, in which case you have your dick in her mouth.

    2. GOPCrusher

      When she gave her testimony about how embryonic stem cell research may have saved Ronnie from dying an Alzheimer's death, the looks on the Republiklans faces was pretty special to see.
      I put that in the Pro Nancy Reagan column.

  8. Fox n Fiends

    How many millions of our tax dollars has Socialist Nancy cost us? She's been on the government's dime since the 60s – and nobody ever cast a ballot for her. I bet her taxpayer funded healthcare plan covers abortions.

    1. GOPCrusher

      Considering the average Breitbart purveyor couldn't find Vietnam on a map if you spotted them Asia, prepare for the fauxrage.

    2. PubOption

      Two comments. First I,m sure I've seen a wider angle version of that picture, in which it was obvious that Jane wasn't wearing a bra. Second, the wingnuts over at breitbart are talking about Hanoi John Kerry as well as Hanoi Jane, can anyone explain?

      1. commiegirl

        Yes, Pub, John Kerry, after winning his eight million Silver Stars and Navy Crosses and whatever, which the wingnuts later mocked with their purple heart bandaids, he testified to end the war, and threw out some of his medals. (But then later sneaked back and got em, cute.) So he is a traitor and etc.

        1. PubOption

          I didn't really think that the medal incident and his testimony was sufficient for the soubriquet 'Hanoi', but then, I'm not a wingnut.

    1. Warwhatgoodfor

      Right next in line. Got a lot of sun damage now, but I lost track of how many times I've seen Barbarella. That scene in the cone is imprinted on my brain forever.

  9. Barb

    Time to load up the Palin family vacation/political bus to go onsite to California's Eureka College to see Ronnie's college years be filmed. Enjoy that, Sarah!

    1. tessiee

      As hard as it is for me to believe that that stupid old bastard set foot on a college campus even to sweep the floors, I think he went the Eureka College in Eureka, Illinois.

      1. Barb

        Tessie, Palin gave a speech in California and said that Ronnie went to the Cali one, not Illinois.

          1. Barb

            Shhh, Palin will tweet her rage at you and post horrible things about you on her Facebook page, that is well scrubbed of any negative comments, and then she will say you are the "lamestream media" You betcha'!

    1. Generation[redacted]

      Isn't that who he plays on his radio show? I listened one day but all I heard was a lot of poop-flinging.

  10. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Sometimes I feel kinda sorry for the wingnutz. Being this outraged all the time must be exhausting.

    1. Fukui-sanYesOta

      Aw, they live for it. A day without incoherent rage at a chimera is a day without sunshine.

  11. chascates

    The announcement on has brought forth the intended comments:
    Hey Jane – I'm a Vietnam veteran, and I personally despise you and all that you and your other Hollywood commies stand for. Did you enjoy your frolic with the same men who were trying to kill our own boys who were fighting the communist scourge? Do you ever feel like the true piece of shit you are for betraying your own country, where you live in lavish style? Been to Arlington Cemetery recently? Pray I don't ever see you in public, or I will embarrass you so badly, you'll wish you'd been hung for the traitor you are.
    Which brought forth this reply:
    Also a Vietnam vet who thinks Hanoi Jane along with Hanoi John Kerry should have been tried as traitors and shot.

    1. Guppy

      I think I've been exposed to bikers enough to be automatically annoyed by anybody who feels the need to preface anything they say with "As a Vietnam veteran…"

    2. GOPCrusher

      I can honestly say that not a single Vietnam Vet I know uses the term "communist scourge".
      Now who's the piece of shit?

    3. HistoriCat

      They can't fool me – I heard all about that Vietnam action when Kerry was running in 2004. So anyone claiming to be a vet is probably a fake.

      Reap what you sow motherfuckers.

    4. dubyatf

      Irony, thy name is wingnuttia.
      At this point I'm sure Hane is either oblivious to the displaced, perennial rage of these vets or, alternately, secretly considers said d.r. so many feathers in her cap.
      Isn't one of the reasons we send our young men and women to be maimed, killed, and tortured (and to return the favor) in manufactured "wars" * the ostensible preservation of the rights of 'Mericans to exercise their First Amendment rights? Hahahaha! I know, good one, right?
      Besides, she SAID she was sorry. But since she did not immediately follow her apology with the act of hari kiri she probably wasn't being sincere.

      1. tessiee

        "As someone who risked his life for this country, I am infuriated when I see protesters exercising their First Amendment rights […] "I didn't fight the Japanese at Midway to save democracy for a bunch of long-haired jerks who want to freely express their views."

        "I love the Constitution, and I nearly lost my life defending it," […] "That's why it angers me so much to see malcontents exploiting it for their own purposes."

  12. Mahousu

    Wait'll they find out the starring character is a blah man (Eugene Allen, White House butler for several decades). The Reagans just have a bit part.

  13. PuckStopsHere

    This is Hollywood fantasy. The fact is that Ronald Reagan was the cocksucker. He was an evil bastard who was married to an evil bitch. These are just the facts. It is little wonder these two are heroes of the right. Ronnie and Mommie represent everything these miserable cocksuckers are all about. They represent the worst America has to offer. And for that, I hate them. I hated them then and I hate them now.

  14. Biff

    reagan's "work" with the HUAC proved what a hateful little shit he was, and it must have rubbed off on Mommy. (ew)

  15. spareme

    And hereI thought that Sarah Palin was the only blow-jobber alive who could disjoint her jaw.

  16. Jus_Wonderin

    All I see in that photo is Ecstasy. It makes me shudder with such joy that I am almost in pain. No! No! Don't! Stop!

  17. thefrontpage

    Interestingly, I've had sexual relations with Jane Fonda AND Nancy Reagan. But not at the same time! Jane was better–more physical. Reagan kept calling out, "FRANKIE," which spoiled the mood.

  18. thefrontpage

    Everyone should see "Barberella" and "Klute" before they die. Then you'll REALLY like Jane Fonda.

  19. thefrontpage

    Here's some more casting for this project, announced by Liberal Media Film Productions, the project's production company:

    1. Bill Maher as George Bush.

    2. Janeanne Garolfalo as Madeline Albright.

    3. Jon Stewart as James Watt.

    4. Jason Alexander as James Baker.

    5. James Carville as Lee Atwater.

    6. John Goodman as Edwin Meese.

    7. Olive Platt as Oliver North.

    8. Heather Locklear as Fawn Hall.

    9. David Cronenberg as David Stockman.

    10. Al Franken as Al Haig.

  20. telecustom1972

    Personally I think an old sock puppet with glued-on googly eyes would have been a better choice – But hey, what do I know about acting?

  21. The_Trainman

    How dare these Hollywood Jews cast Fonda. I think the message couldn't be more clear here if Charles Darwin had been buried in a church.

  22. tessiee

    Of course she was great at it; it's obviously the only source of calories that skeletor-looking bitch ever ingested.

  23. JackObin

    I agree. Jane is FAR too intelligent to play Mommy Raygun. I see the vapid Ann Coulter in the part.

  24. Wile E. Quixote

    I wonder if, during Jane Fonda's relationship with
    Ted Turner, he used the threat of Barbarella when they fought.

    "Keep it up Jane, go ahead and keep it up, but if you do I'm scheduling a
    Barbarella marathon on TBS. Seriously, all Barbarella
    all the time."

    I mean it's probably the only thing he could have done since
    she was so ripped from all the aerobics and easily could have kicked
    Ted's ass.

    1. Man0nTheStreet

      Nah – she lived down the tawdriness of that movie long ago – showing it to the overwhelmingly male TBS audience would just remind them how srsly fuckable she was back on the day… and since she still looked MILFy during the Turner marriage, her business mgr (not His – *Her's*) could've just bought the commercial time to sell DVDs of her good movies and her unmistakeably sexualized workout videos… Ca-ching!

  25. pdiddycornchips

    I'm trying to work in a pearl necklace comment but I'm too stoned and my brain synapses are not cooperating. Can anyone help me out here?

  26. johnnymeatworth

    "She kissed Mr T.
    Mr T. has a big skull
    Nancy plants her lips upon
    Big Pepe shot up red
    Nancy sips between the spread
    The CIA is after me
    Because Nancy sucked off Mr T.
    Nancy’s juices flow Potomac blue
    I came on Nancy, I have spewed
    Mr. T. rammed jizz in her hair
    While Nancy had a press conference
    Ted Koppel had a hard on
    Nancy sucked off Sam Donaldson instead
    But Nancy’s bladder busted pee
    Because Nancy swallowed Mr T."

    –"Nancy Reagan" by the Sun City Girls

  27. Beowoof

    Just another liberal being rammed down the throats of conservatives. Seriously I don't know how they can swallow this. Maybe Ted Hagard can help.

  28. eaglewon

    but she's an actress, that's what they do, she's playing Nancy not herself. Just like Julianne Moore, who's liberal, played that cuckoo nut job right winger fake christian Palin.

  29. Manhattan123

    Does anything NOT outrage these right-wing jackoffs? I mean seriously, they seem to be in a perpetual state of fuming and outrage and anger and bile.

  30. chascates

    This is almost as disgusting as Meryl Streep portraying Lord Margaret Thatcher even though Streep is not British, nor a Tory, nor a confidant of Ronald Reagan!

    1. Negropolis

      I totally missed your comment before I posted mine. lol It's funny be operated in direct contrast to one another.

  31. Negropolis

    I knew Nancy Reagan. Nancy Reagan was a friend-with-benefits of mine. Jane Fonda, you are no Nancy Reagan…thank god.

  32. wolvenwood13

    True story: when I was a flight attendant, a close friend, also a F/A, had the Reagans on the plane; this was before Ron ran for prez. My friend asked Ron what he wanted, he ordered, then she asked Nancy. Nancy said nothing. My friend asked again: still Nancy didn't respond. Finally, Ron speaks up and says "My wife doesn't speak to the help".

    It will be interesting to see if she speaks to the butler in this film.

  33. DocChaos

    Sure, laugh now, but when Victoria Jackson plays Stanley Ann Dunham in " Mission to Kenya", you won't think it's so funny.

    Okay , maybe you will.

  34. DarkHippie

    Nancy created the Tea Party in the 40s, but it just involved getting tea bagged by producers to get an acting job

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