Mitt Romney’s small cottage in La Jolla is in the process of renovation, and the aggrandizing of this piece of real estate is such an important issue for the future of this nation that there is actually a guy assigned to lobby the house to the San Diego government. How do you lobby a house? Perhaps this involves wearing a button with a picture of the house on it? Carrying a model version of the house to show all the government workers how lovely life can be when you start from, well, something, work hard and “earn” every phone call your father ever made to his friends? Anyway, also, the “manse,” as one Romney campaign person once called it, apparently thinking “manse” is a prissy way of saying “very small castle,” (manse: a large stately house; a mansion, for any teens reading), will also have a car elevator, because many of Romney’s friends are elevator company owners, and his only real friends are cars.
The chateau shall be 11,000 square feet. Its basement alone, which is delicately referred to as its “non-living area,” shall be bigger than the original house was (3,000 square feet). WHAT WILL HAPPEN DOWN THERE? We are sorry if this leads to you imagining Mitt Romney sweaty or having fun, but it’s probably for an ice skating rink, olympic-size pool, gym and garage for 93,894 cars. Recall L.A. Dodgers owner Jamie McCourt’s house(seseses). They are kind of the same, these two. Here’s the thing: ramps? What is so wrong with a ramp? True, Batman would never have a ramp.
Anyway, this guy, Matthew Peterson, has been employed by Romney in the position of Castle Lobbyist since 2008, and part of the reason is things like car elevators, and disturbing the peace, and forklifts and possibly moat-building and a full-scale replica of the gardens at Versailles. Peterson’s job is to politely harass four government people: “the project manager responsible for the planned construction, an assistant city attorney and two engineers.” Some people claim this is all quite “normal,” when you are doing a renovation of this scale. See, any time you have a lot of money, you get to waste the government’s time and resources with your personal problems and aspirations. It’s the American Dream. Romney is living it. What are you doing?
And what is “this scale,” you ask? Why, here is a baseball field, speaking of baseball, which is a mere 8,100 square feet, so: