I AM ZE LOCKSMITH OF LOVE  6:30 pm March 26, 2012

Known French Person Dominique Strauss-Kahn Just Cannot Stay Out of Sex-Crimes Jail

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Free muffFormer IMF chief and man who did not win the French presidency Dominique Strauss-Kahn has been charged with “aggravated pimping,” because of course he was.

DSK, as he is known, had been the frontrunner to win the presidency, when his campaign was derailed by an arrest for super-raping a New York hotel maid. This caused many French people to be horrified that important people were not treated with proper Respect. At the time, another French women came forward to say he had tried to rape her as well. (The New York case was dismissed when police realized that only perfect virgins can be raped.)

The prostitution probe, nicknamed the “Carlton Affair” by the French press, kicked off in October.

It centers around the city of Lille, where investigators began looking into claims that luxury hotels, including the Carlton, served as a base for a high-profile prostitution network.

In December, Strauss-Kahn’s attorney, Henri Leclerc, acknowledged in an interview with radio station Europe1 that his client attended sex parties, but said Strauss-Kahn was unaware the women in attendance were prostitutes.

Of course he was unaware the women were prostitutes. DSK is balls-deep in free muff 23-6. (He takes off the Lord’s Day, for his wife.)

[CNN]

 

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{ 131 comments }

docterry6973 March 26, 2012 at 6:34 pm

How does he ever find the time?

LiveToServeYa March 27, 2012 at 9:51 am

The French have these concepts named 'Time off' and 'Free time', concepts unheard of in America.

Not_So_Much March 26, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Are you sure this isn't Berlusconi? All them european-type furriners kinda sound alike.

anniegetyerfun March 26, 2012 at 6:36 pm

I think Berlusconi is really upfront about his needs. Like, cash upfront.

Serolf_Divad March 26, 2012 at 6:44 pm

No, not Berlusconi. Reports indicate that in this case all the prostitutes in question had reached puberty.

dadanarchist March 26, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Needs moar bunga bunga

Isyaignert March 27, 2012 at 2:28 am

Mistresses are de rigour in Europeland. They think we're nutz, especially after the Monica Lewinski/Bill Clinton thingy of yesteryear.

Terry March 27, 2012 at 8:06 am

Raping maids and participating in sex parties seems to be too much to over look, at least for some of the Europeans.

Isyaignert March 27, 2012 at 11:29 am

I hope the entire truth comes out about DSK – I always felt he got away with this attack on the maid in NYC.

Terry March 27, 2012 at 11:37 am

It comes down to Occam's Razor.

Either you believe that DSK raped a maid and has a history of this sort of behavior….

or

…or you believe that there is a massive conspiracy against him that involves recruiting numerous women to entrap him in multiple cities and countries.

Terry March 27, 2012 at 8:07 am

Except Cameron. He won't be caught in a sex scandal like this. The man probably volunteered to run the slide projector in his primary school class.

Me_K_Cong March 26, 2012 at 6:35 pm

OT: I sure wish you would give us an opportunity to snark on Trayvon having been caught at school with weed and the implication that this makes him shootable.

Boojum March 26, 2012 at 6:35 pm

DSK=BTK

littlebigdaddy March 26, 2012 at 6:37 pm

DSK=STD

Callyson March 26, 2012 at 6:53 pm

DSK = ED

SexySmurf March 26, 2012 at 7:46 pm

DSK=DTF

Negropolis March 26, 2012 at 11:12 pm

Someone get this person a chalkboard, stat!

Chichikovovich March 26, 2012 at 6:36 pm

I hate to rain on anyone's parade, but I'm sure this story is wrong. As anyone who's been to Lille can tell you, it simply beyond belief that there could be luxury hotels there.

Fukui-sanYesOta March 26, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Haha, I had exactly the same reaction.

Serolf_Divad March 26, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Luxury is relative. In this case it means that the sheets are changed every third time a guest brings a prostitute to his room, rather than just weekly.

Negropolis March 26, 2012 at 11:13 pm

LOL!

Poor Lille. It's an overgrown piss/train stop. Essentially.

anniegetyerfun March 26, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Skunk libel!

GreatChristiano March 26, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Innocent New York hotel maid libel! –"This caused many French people to be horrified that important people were not treated with proper Respect."

hagajim March 26, 2012 at 6:37 pm

DSK = Dirty Stinking Kocksucker. Actually I imagine a number of Frenchies have no real issue here….I mean they just legalized the bawdy houses in Canadia.

Chichikovovich March 26, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Really? O tempura o morays, I guess, but "CCC 210(1) Keeping a Common Bawdy House" was always my favorite law in my (police officer) grandfather's copy of the Criminal Code of Canada.

Boojum March 26, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Moray tempura…mmmm….

Crank_Tango March 26, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Sorry I can't hear you, I am on a flight to canada city.

tcaalaw March 27, 2012 at 8:37 am

I call shotgun!

Serolf_Divad March 26, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Don't be a playa hatah, Rebecca, you see a pimp's love is different from a square's.

extreme_left March 26, 2012 at 8:06 pm

thats Double D SK to you Rebecca

littlebigdaddy March 26, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Do DSK and Newtie ever party together?

Fukui-sanYesOta March 26, 2012 at 6:42 pm

OK, that made me feel very ill indeed. I'm going to start drinking early.

littlebigdaddy March 26, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Glad to be of service. Have a sake for me.

Guppy March 26, 2012 at 8:35 pm

And, more importantly, did they "cross swords?"

Nostrildamus March 26, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Whatever you do, don't cross the streams!!!

SayItWithWookies March 26, 2012 at 6:42 pm

See, he's not a rapist — he just hires prostitutes without knowing he's hired them. It's just smart business to keep the evil financier Strauss-Kahn from knowing what the evil sex fiend Strauss-Kahn is doing. So he just assumes every woman he meets is a prostitute he's paid to be available.

GreatChristiano March 26, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Under Obamacare, all of this will be provided for all of us, right?

Callyson March 26, 2012 at 7:45 pm

I hope the lawyers arguing for its constitutionality remember to bring that up in oral arguments. Justice Thomas FTW!

Callyson March 26, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Prostitute? Why, no, the lady was just down on her luck and I gave her a bit of help. She was *very* thankful…

Guppy March 26, 2012 at 8:36 pm

He did not not know that the maid was not a prostitute!

GreatChristiano March 27, 2012 at 9:10 am

Yes, but she should have known to just offer her stuff up ("important people [should be] treated with proper Respect"…

gout March 26, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Say hello to the new spokesman for Belvedere vodka.

Antispandex March 26, 2012 at 6:42 pm

If that's a real picture of him, this was an easy accusation. Of COURSE he has to pay for it!

GreatChristiano March 26, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Well, yeah, but can you still call it "muff" if'n its all shaved up???

Ask the rabbi that…

Texan_Bulldog March 26, 2012 at 6:51 pm

I don't think European women shave much of anything.

SorosBot March 26, 2012 at 6:55 pm

That's not really true any more.

Texan_Bulldog March 26, 2012 at 6:57 pm

I just remember the German wives that soldiers would bring back hanging out at the base pools. They were a hairy lot. Of course, that's been awhile ago–maybe they discovered that armpit hair long enough to braid isn't really that sexy.

GreatChristiano March 26, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Hey some of us guys love that!

SorosBot March 26, 2012 at 7:36 pm

In France at least, the old hairy legs and armpits stereotype was definitely not true.

alzronnie March 26, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Perhaps Cheney can offer him some tips on how to get a heart.

Boojum March 26, 2012 at 11:28 pm

"Cutting through the ribs is the real issue…"

nounverb911 March 26, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Was he affected by Megan Draper's lap dance last night?

Biff March 26, 2012 at 7:02 pm

I sure was, and I don't even speak French!

horsedreamer_1 March 26, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Nor are you a Communist?

(The actress portraying Mrs Whitman-Draper v2.0 was the love interest in Jay Baruchel's (!) "The Trotsky", is what I mean.)

Crank_Tango March 26, 2012 at 8:09 pm

I saw a screen grab of her topless today, from whatever, who knows, the boobies were top notch tho.

GreatChristiano March 27, 2012 at 9:17 am

Thank God 'cause we demand top-notch boobies.

randcoolcatdaddy March 26, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Must be a Socialist. No rentboys are involved.

Barb March 26, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Ugh, cheese-eating surrender monkey sex makes me feel oogie.

weej_bain March 26, 2012 at 6:49 pm

New spin on ♪♫ Froggy went a' courtin' he did ride, uh huh, uh huh…♫♪

BigSkullF*ckingDog March 26, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Rape means never having to pay a whore!

Callyson March 26, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Those poor women who had to service DSK…only one thing to say…
She works hard for the money
so hard for it honey
she works hard for the money
so you better treat her right http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09ZSKE38lTU

Texan_Bulldog March 26, 2012 at 6:55 pm

This is just shocking! Shocking, I tell you. (At least he's paying for it instead of forcing hotel maids to give him blow jobs–maybe he learned his lesson the hard way on that one.)

SorosBot March 26, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Of course he had no idea those women were prostitutes; why with a face like that women are always just throwing themselves at him at the sex parties.

Boojum March 26, 2012 at 7:02 pm

He thought he was actually raping them!

Aridzona March 26, 2012 at 6:58 pm

He's the most interesting man in the world.

MissTaken March 26, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Hey men, just a thought: If you are rich, old, and stink of cheese all those hot, young women begging to bang you at a sex party are hookers.

The More You Know!

Boojum March 26, 2012 at 7:03 pm

For all value of "hookers" equal to "future wives of Newt Gingrich".

BlueStateLibel March 26, 2012 at 7:05 pm

But the old guys' ear hair is so sexy, no?

FraAnima March 26, 2012 at 7:08 pm

What do you get with only 2 out of 3 of those qualities?

Never mind, I don't want to know…

SorosBot March 26, 2012 at 7:45 pm

So you mean you don't want to go to a sex party where you go down on a bunch of wrinkly Viagra-popping old men?

Fare la Volpe March 26, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Who doesn't? After they're done, they show you pictures of their grandkids*!!

*legitimate or otherwise

Swampgas_Man March 26, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Heavens, how else will they meet a husband?

Someone else's husband, of course, but poTAYto poTAHto.

bagofmice March 27, 2012 at 4:55 am

Let's call the whole thread off.

horsedreamer_1 March 26, 2012 at 9:49 pm
Guppy March 26, 2012 at 8:39 pm

I'll try to keep that in mind the next time I get invited to a sex party.

pinkocommi March 26, 2012 at 6:59 pm

I am just so glad that the media has not discovered a tweeted pic of Dominique Strauss-Kahn's dick. Yet.

starfanglednut March 26, 2012 at 7:35 pm

They'd have to find it.

SpeedoFart March 26, 2012 at 7:00 pm

It amuses me that DSK looks like Brian Cox.

Hee hee hee hee! "Cox!"

coolhandnuke March 26, 2012 at 7:02 pm

He's no Maurice Chevrolet.

pinkocommi March 26, 2012 at 7:03 pm

The IMF fucks over countries for money.
The former head of the IMF fucks women's c*nts for money.

Coincidence?

FraAnima March 26, 2012 at 7:05 pm

As of now, I will refer to kissing with open mouth and tongue as "Freedom" kissing.

Take that, France!

Guppy March 26, 2012 at 8:40 pm

I thought women in that line of work preferred not to kiss on the mouth to begin with.

GreatChristiano March 27, 2012 at 9:20 am

Its more that the guys refuse to kiss THEM because they know where the working girls' mouths have been…

Biff March 26, 2012 at 7:06 pm

I don't know how this joke goes, but I'm pretty sure the punch-line is "The Aristocrats!"

Dr. Nick Riviera March 26, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Law and Order:DSK!

SkinnyNerd March 26, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Dear Diary,

Once again the world feels like it has a right to condemn me. I am but a mere mortal. What is so wrong with my musket pricking a muffin? Has the world gone mad? I have so much stress in my life. As the president (ex) of the IMF I had to solve the problems of the poor. Surely for my fine work, there should be an award, no? Look at the state of the world's poor. Have I not done a good job? As the leading Socialist candidate for President (former) of la Metropole, I had to do a lot of um, well, um, well a lot of French things. Madams and mademoiselles should be knocking on my door. Why must the media keep focusing on me? Now I have to go and sneak around for my various liaisons, like a damned American. When will this nightmare end?

dadanarchist March 26, 2012 at 7:17 pm

that his client attended sex parties, but said Strauss-Kahn was unaware the women in attendance were prostitutes.

I guess Eyes Wide Shut was a documentary.

Terry March 27, 2012 at 8:08 am

Or a guide to life.

swordfis March 26, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Seriously: DSK was set up in nyc by Sarkozy; even the NY Post showed a front-page photo of the hotel cops high-fiving each other after the arrest. Emails about the arrest were received in France before it happened. This has been covered extensively in the French press. (Jewish leftists are fairly conspicuous targets in France.)

The guy may be a slime, but he's a private slime.

SorosBot March 26, 2012 at 7:35 pm

So Sarkozy just made him rape that maid? Uh, that doesn't make any sense.

swordfis March 26, 2012 at 7:40 pm

It wasn't rape – it was a setup. He habitually hired prostitutes and that one was a plant.

SorosBot March 26, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Uh, yeah, sure; and 9/11 was an inside job and the moon landing was faked too.

swordfis March 26, 2012 at 7:48 pm

I hate conspiracy theories, and frankly, I find DSK completely disgusting. Still, it was a setup. The French progressive press has covered this widely. Only the New Yorker has in the US as far as I know. And the New Yorker explained the setup.

Dr. Nick Riviera March 27, 2012 at 1:45 am

Maid goes in, penis comes out. Who can explain it?

Chichikovovich March 26, 2012 at 8:11 pm

RU Shoor? I hadn't heard that. If you could give me a couple of links I'd appreciate it, since I find it surprising. The people I know in France – including a couple of journalists, some civil servants and someone high-ish in the Socialist party – all thought that the DSK arrest was a setback for Sarkozy, because his people had amassed a substantial dossier of behavior like this that they were planning to start leaking right after DSK had been officially chosen as the Socialist candidate. Having DSK knocked out before he became the official candidate meant the Socialists had, by blind good fortune, avoided a trap.

But I haven't spoken to any of them about this for awhile – maybe I'm just out of the loop.

swordfis March 26, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Here's the New York Review of Books article (I remembered it as the New Yorker):
http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2011/dec

Here's a very critical New Yorker blog treatment of the article:
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/closeread/2

Your theory is very interesting. Personally, I can't stand the guy.

Guppy March 26, 2012 at 8:55 pm

The critical treatment in the New Yorker can be summed up by this quote:

Epstein assembles the components of a Rube Goldberg machine of a conspiracy that, if you put it in motion, seems to turn on a controller in room 2820 reckoning that sending a maid into the room of a man who was packing to leave would yield the D.N.A. evidence of a sexual encounter.

swordfis March 26, 2012 at 9:46 pm

He would have arranged for a call girl ahead of time, and the controllers would have supplied him with their plant.

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 26, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Remember, it's not paying for the sex, it's paying for the person to go away after the sex.

MissTaken March 26, 2012 at 7:26 pm

The French are sooooo romantic. Ooh la la!

RadioStalingrad March 26, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Skunk in the junk.

HippieEsq March 26, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Has he already hired someone to kill him – without knowing he hired an assassin of course? Because that's really the only way DSK can raise his game at this point.

Blueb4sunrise March 26, 2012 at 7:49 pm

OT
Saw my first snake of the year. Baby gophersnake.

horsedreamer_1 March 26, 2012 at 8:00 pm

"I didn't know the bitches was prostitutes, homme". — Eazy-D

Barrelhse March 26, 2012 at 8:02 pm

"Pictures of Lille".

GreatChristiano March 26, 2012 at 8:03 pm

Ah, yes–

but he can only do it once.

RedneckMuslin March 26, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Freedom whores!

GlowneyHouse March 26, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Aggrivated Pimpin' ain't easy, but it's necessary.

docterry6973 March 26, 2012 at 8:35 pm

I do so hope that I get to see that smug, sneering face behind bars. Do the French ever send Important People to jail? I kind of don't think they do.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 27, 2012 at 12:32 am

They send 'em to an island, is what I remember.

Terry March 27, 2012 at 8:09 am

No, only people steal loaves of bread go to jail. Probably non-French, too.

Negropolis March 27, 2012 at 8:18 am

No, the French are only sending be-hijabed Muslin wimmenz to jail, these days.

GreatChristiano March 27, 2012 at 9:23 am

That is the craziest law ever–I cannot believe they can get away with that law.

MinAgain March 26, 2012 at 8:37 pm

And nobody wants to hang out with an aggravated pimp.

Loaded_Pants March 26, 2012 at 8:38 pm

This is Kubrick's worst movie. I mean, it's even worse than "Barry Lyndon".

BTWBFDIMHO March 26, 2012 at 10:02 pm

You mean, Legs Wide Open?

littlebigdaddy March 26, 2012 at 8:42 pm

Bitch set him up!

FakaktaSouth March 26, 2012 at 9:14 pm

The Carlton Affair – man, even their sex scandals sound more elegant. You know here at the home of the whopper it'd be a gate too, just like everything – HolidayInn-Ho-gate or something equally terrible. I could deal with a good Carlton Affair.

johnnyzhivago March 26, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Hmmm…. Pimp? Rapist??? Has he considered becoming a Republican???

Negropolis March 26, 2012 at 11:02 pm

What is aggravated pimping? Is that like when you physically push the girl onto the corner, or something?

johnnyzhivago March 26, 2012 at 11:13 pm

No, no, no. Aggravated pimping is when you're out pimping, but something unrelated is aggravating you – like you can't get a good cellphone signal or you're out of quarters for the parking meter.

bikerlaureate March 26, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Johns just irk him soooo much.

bagofmice March 27, 2012 at 4:59 am

Nobody ever said pimping was easy.

donner_froh March 26, 2012 at 11:12 pm

It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp but that's how DSK rolls.

Negropolis March 26, 2012 at 11:27 pm

Don't you guys worry. DSK Socialist party is going to win the presidency. They have another cad agains the UMP cad. The cads are going to win this election, regardless.

ttommyunger March 27, 2012 at 7:27 am

Just whose ass is he checking out in that pix?

DahBoner March 27, 2012 at 7:43 am

It ain't easy being Le Pimp

VespulaMaculata March 27, 2012 at 10:15 am

Is the best you can do, France? Where's the attempt to suck cop dick in an airport restroom? You've got a lot to learn.

Chet Kincaid March 26, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Links or GTFO.

swordfis March 26, 2012 at 8:23 pm

I misremembered the source: it was Jason Epstein in NY Review of Books: http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2011/dec

The New Yorker Blog has a very critical piece about the article:
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/closeread/2

But I'm still sticking to my guns.

Guppy March 26, 2012 at 9:50 pm

So… he's the French Marion Barry?

What's French for "Goddam bitch set me up?"

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