Joe Loves You Boy, somebody got on Old Handsome Joe’s last nerve! He even says he is “angry,” and then yells a bunch! But what brought on this fit of righteousness from the World’s Sexiest Grampa? Watch Joe Biden testify, after the jump!

Here is Your Daily Joe, preaching it about Cut, Cap and Balance, from the world’s last, best repository of unabashed Joe Biden Love.


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  • Lascauxcaveman

    Cut, Cap and Balance, Get Off My Damn Lawn!

  • Joe could piss on Mother Teresa's grave and I'd still love the bastard.

    • freakishlywrong

      Damn glorious bastard!

    • CountryClubJihadi

      If Joe was my Grampy and he touched me inappropriately, I wouldn't tell.

    • Allmighty_Manos

      Actually I think that would add immeasurably to his appeal

    • An_Outhouse

      I'd love him more if he did.

    • Amen. I love the guy.

      Funny, he's gaffe-prone because he speaks his mind and isn't always careful about editing himself. Romney is gaffe-prone because he's trying so hard to be something he's not. Funny. I wonder if Romney will try, try again in 2016, and if it will be Biden v Romney.

      • Terry

        In 2016, the current Maryland governor, Martin O'Malley, will be the Democratic nominee. Anyone want to bet a nickle on it?

        • HistoriCat

          The wingers will have an easy time – just change "Nobama" to "Nomalley".

        • NotYerGaryBusey

          I was just saying to Mrs. NotYerGaryBusey the other day that they need to get Governor O' Malley some more face time on the Teeveez and get him ready to run. Smart and can articulate a point without resorting to words thrid graders can't understand.

          • Terry

            O'Malley is also hot in that former-altarboy-you-want-to-lead-astray way. Personally, I'd be his occasion of sin anytime he wants.

        • Limeylizzie

          I said that a few weeks ago O'Malley/Warren 2016.

          • Terry

            Well, O'Malley may finally pay Marylanders' debt to the nation for electing Spiro Agnew.

    • Nopantsmcgee

      I can't quit him, either.

  • nounverb911

    Did someone cut in front of him while waiting for the 'Early Bird' special at the Olive Garden?

  • hagajim

    All we care about is ourselves…that about sums it up. Selfish pricks all of us.

    • OneDollarJuana

      My prick isn't selfish. It would gladly spread itself around if the little woman would allow it to.

  • I'm cool with this guy being a birth certificate away from the WH.

  • HippieEsq

    That was awesome. I'm gonna run down to Irish Times, throw back 8 shots of Irish Whiskey and go punch the first person that looks at me funny. Obama/Biden 2012.

    • An_Outhouse

      If you're in or near Fla – feel free to shoot the person that looks at you funny.

      • HippieEsq

        I'm in DC, which means by the time I can legally get a gun, we'll be talking about Palin/Cain 2016, I presume, though, that Illegal guns are available in the lost and found bin at the NRA lobby office down the street.

  • freakishlywrong

    See, teatards, that's old fashioned populism right there. You can't fake that shit.

  • PhilippePetain

    Goddammit, as these boomers get older, there's just going to be more old people yelling, isn't there? Fuck a duck.

    That being said, Joe's alright with me.

    • I hope you die before you get old!! Talkin' about my generation…

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Reminds me of my liberal Catholic father-in-law ranting about the Church's failure to police and excise its pedophile priests.

      He's a loud crank who just won't shut up, but he's right about that.

    • Toomush_Infer

      He was just sayin' what was on my mind….'course, I'm an oldz, so it don't count, I guess…

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I bet I would have a 100+ upfist comment for that video, if it were showing up on my stupid firewalled work computer as something other than a big white blank space.

    • MissTaken

      My blank space is gray. Why is your work computer so racist?

  • Lascauxcaveman

    It passes the "not a credible threat" test. Although applying the 'R' word to Rubio may be construed as overly generous.

    • HippieEsq

      I though you were going go with "it's not a threat if the skull contains no brains to mash up"

      • Dr. Nick Riviera

        I think they prefer the term "Zombie Outbreak Resistant"

  • Please sign this petition to secure Joe Biden a few more blowjobs than are currently allotted. Because he either needs them for stress management, or deserves them for services rendered.

    • And I volunteer to provide. In a first-class compartment on Amtrak, just so he'll be extra-happy.

      • Negropolis

        Just be careful when the train hits the bumbs on the way to Washington.

        • I think HE'LL be the one with the problem!

          • Negropolis

            Yeah, that's kind of what I meant. lol

  • The commenters in that SharkTank swamp you linked to sure do resonate like a bunch of Grampa Grumpies.

    • freakishlywrong

      Bitter old Faux watchers.

  • Callyson

    He even says he is “angry,” and then yells a bunch!
    Isn't that what Joe usually does? I know that's why I've always liked him…

  • SorosBot

    He is right; the hardcore wingnuts are such selfish assholes that they can't imagine that other people aren't self-centered douchebags like them and actually do give a shit about everyone's welfare.

    • edgydrifter

      Since they would only feign concern in someone else's welfare as a ploy to gain some kind of advantage, they can only assume anyone else displaying concern is doing the exact same thing. IT'S A TARP!!

    • I watched a rank and file House Republican make that exact pitch to a packed room at a midstate Pennsylvania assisted living facility. He led it off with: "Raise your hand if you're over 50!"

      The central air was louder than the applause.

  • larrykat

    Man, that is some pretty effective Joe right there. Hope he can keep it up and stay on track… naaah.

  • Release The Biden!

  • Callyson

    And while I will probably be the 50th person to say this…Joe Biden is a big fucking deal. Well done, Mr VP…

    • Biff

      I already had occasion to use a BFD reference in an earlier post, so I had to refrain this time.

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      I will admit it: I briefly thought about buying the Obama/Biden 2012 Tshirt what says "Health Care Reform: Still a BFD"

      But I can't afford it because the Kenyan Usurper personally made gas prices go up.

  • Goonemeritus

    When we don’t show Joe Biden unabashed love the terrorists win.

  • prommie

    Its cool, I love Joe, but its not that big a fucking deal.

  • RedneckMuslin

    Glad his heart is stronger than that last guy's.

    • The milk of human kindness is more heart-healthy than the blood of his enemies.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    OK, was able to see it on the Shark Tank whatsit. Come on, you call that "losing your temper"? They should see my old man get wound up watching the evening news.

    • Terry

      My old man gets more upset watching the NCAA playoffs (both men's and women's, btw).

  • littlebigdaddy

    Yeah, but when was the last time he shot someone in the face?

    • RedneckMuslin

      I think his sex life is his own business.

      • GOPCrusher

        Yeah. Not sure if Jill would want that getting out.

    • Terry

      Or personally shook the hand of Saddam Hussein.

    • HistoriCat

      Joe doesn't believe in shooting people in the face. He prefers the personal touch of vehicular assault.

  • Obama got Osama bin Laden but Joe kicked his corpse into the ocean.

  • prommie

    Our Biden, who art in Blair House, blessed be thy name.

    • Terry

      Blair House is the guest house for the White House. Joe lives up at the Naval Observatory and has turned Cheney's subterranean lair into an awesome rumpus room with a wide screen tv, pool table, foosball, and Rolling Rock on tap.

      • GunToting[Redacted]

        I heard the crime-scene cleanup and exorcism costs were way over budget.

  • Today we are all self-centered douche nozzles, otherwise known as Tea Partiers and/or stereotypical junior high students.

  • It's about time someone told the Abraham Simpsons to shut the fuck up.

  • JackDempsey1

    He's the horse whisperer for old people.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Should that not be "the Hoarse Hollerer"?

      • prommie

        The Old Yeller.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Who does Joe Biden think he is, Li'l Ricky Santorum?

    • ElPinche

      Joe's got chunks of guys like Santorum in his poop.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    So, up top, why did they superimpose that picture of Joe Biden over a sphincter?

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      If it's good enough for Vonnegut's signature, it's good enough for me.


    • MissTaken

      I just learned this last night! It's what's known as a Suitcase piercing


      • SorosBot

        Agggh! again – really that looks painful. Though as a man the giant hoop through the tip of the dick looked like the worst.

      • GreatChristiano

        Yes, but if NSFW means "not suitable for wife,"

        I'm certain there's plenty of wifeys out there who would appreciate that.

  • MissTaken

    It's refreshing when a crotchety old man gets crotchety about things that deserve it.

  • BarackMyWorld

    He could have just nicely asked them to turn up their hearing aids.

  • sbj1964

    If you strike Joe down he will become more powerful than even you can imagine.Barrak you must go to the Degoba system.

  • edgydrifter

    He speaks the language of the people–loud and cranky.

  • Hey! How come Lucidamente gets to say "retard?" I can't say retard or you delete my comment!

  • Hey, everybody! We can say retard again!

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      I typed "I wonder what tr!ggered that change?" but it was still auto-deleted…

  • MozakiBlocks

    Nothing beats Joey B's smackdown of Congressman Joe Barton's apology to BP during the oil spill fandango.

    Everyone knows what's coming and it's going to be fucking epic!

  • ttommyunger

    Joe is OK in by book, but I'm not clicking on that shit, not today; tomorrow doesn't look good for it either.

  • mormos

    Serious question, who are the democrats floating in 2016. I mean I love ol' fightin' Joe, but he isn't exactly presidential.

    • SockBunny

      my dream is O'Malley/Warren.

      • Limeylizzie

        Yep, that would be my dream as well.

    • Terry

      Martin O'Malley, the smart and handsome Governor of the State of Maryland. Good liberal cred and he has his own Celtic rock band. Hubba hubba.

      • James Michael Curley

        With O'Malley we'll see the sincerity of the Santorum and Gingrich supporters over whether a bunch of social conservative southern evangelicals really will support a Catholic for President.

    • GOPCrusher

      Probably not Joe. But I could see him telling someone to Shut The Fuck Up if they decided to talk smack while he was in the middle of giving the State Of The Union address.

    • I think he's presidential as fuck.

  • Guppy

    This is what happens when you give up alcohol for Lent.

  • clblabin

    Now THERE'S a crazy, angry Joe I can support (fuck off, Scarborough).

  • Toomush_Infer

    All the way back to pre-revolution Cuba…no less…

  • Toomush_Infer

    Joe "Bringing the Sane back to Crazy" Biden = take that, idiots….

  • fuflans

    man i wish i could watch this.

    on the plus side, i'm making money.

  • Nostrildamus

    Facts, facts, facts. How partisan is that? I need to go tune in NPR to get the "other side" of the debate.

  • Limeylizzie

    May I give you an English phrase to use that means the same but doesn't use the 'R' word? "Gormless Cunt" . Try it, I think you'll like it.

  • GreatChristiano

    You know, I don't mean to burst your guys's bubble or nothing but come on, people!

    Biden is really not all that handsome, he's just not.

  • doloras

    He's the Lovematic Grampa, and he'll fill our hearts with love.

  • Negropolis

    Handsome Old Joe don't play, let me tell you.

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