Wonkette Bookmaker: What Will Be the Final Supreme Court Vote Against Obamacare?

March 26, 2012 - 11:01am

The US Supreme Court hears arguments today regarding the Constitutionality of Kenyan Socialist Communist Anti-Colonial Marxist Plot Obamacare, brought to you by Mitt Romney. What will be the final vote against it?

actor212

All of them, Katie.
- Crank_Tango
  
  too soon!
- Guppy
  
  That's the magic of the checkbox! Radio buttons are for socialists!
Baconzgood

I honestly think it will be 5-4. But who's to say for sure.
- actor212
  
  I dunno….I'd put a fin on it being 5-4
- An_Outhouse
  
  5-0 against Obmamcare. The liberals will be taken out back and shot.
  - horsedreamer_1
    
    Which they will allege was an outcome of pre-repeal Obamacare.
    
    DEATH PANNNNNNELLLLLZZZZ!
  - Veritas78
    
    In their hoodies, clutching their "skittles" and "iced tea." So, just asking for it.
- nonbeliever7
  
  I'm going out on a limb. Good guys win by a field goal. (that would be 6-3 for you bloody English and psych majors).
  Wait, can I call the English "bloody" or is that verboten?
  - Baconzgood
    
    You just can't call them ****** or ****** or ******** or threaten to ****** their ******** children.
    - nonbeliever7
      
      I would never say ******* in mixed company. But I recently started watching The Wire DVD set I got a few months back. So I'm fucking watching 6 seasons of fucking unbelievable shows in a really short fucking time frame. I fucking hope it doesn't affect my fucking attitude.
      - BerkeleyBear
        
        Shiiiiiiiiiiit no.
  - Ramon X
    
    You can call them Ray, or you call them Jay. Or you can call them RJ. But you doesn't have to call them sir.
  - flamingpdog
    
    I've said "merde" before on teh Wonkette, but that may have been in the prior Administration.
- GOPCrusher
  
  I'll go 5-4 in favor. And the next 30 years of hearing Republiklans vow to repeal it.
  - Advn2rgirl
    
    I'm with you. Might even be 6-3, depending on if they decide it's a tax.
    - kingofmeh
      
      i agree – alito, thomas, and scalia dissent.
      - BerkeleyBear
        
        Actually, I could see Scalia pulling a bs concurrence in part, dissent in part that no one can understand the logic of (because it claims fealty to his own Gonzalez v. Raich opinion yet comes out 180 degrees the other way), and Roberts signing on to both that and the majority opinion. So it winds up as 5-4, 6-3 or 7-2 depending on who is doing the nose counting.
        
        I also had a nightmare in which Kennedy has a heart attack from the stress and it winds up 4-4, which means that all the conflicting rulings below stand somehow.
    - Biel_ze_Bubba
      
      6-3 at least. They can't overturn Wickard v. Filburn without blowing up seventy years of prior jusrisprudence. Even Scalia will grudgingly go along.
Allmighty_Manos

My bet is with evil on this one.
- Jus_Wonderin
  
  He's laid up; recovering. Right?
chicken_thief

If it is that difficult to get all of them to look at the camera at one time I don't have much faith in their ability to focus on the issues for 3 days.
- Baconzgood
  
  My 7 year old's class photo had all the kids in it paying attention.
  - NewtsChicknNeck
    
    if you give adderrall to someone in scalia's condition or as old and angry as clarence thomas, you better have EMS ready to roll.
    - chicken_thief
      
      Are you offering that as a suggestion or as a warning?
    - flamingpdog
      
      Slappy doesn't even need to pay attention – he gets his opinions fed intravenously from Tony.
      - Biel_ze_Bubba
        
        Clarence gets it via brainwaves — but sometimes, when he doesn't like what he's hearing, he does put on his tinfoil hat. This may be one of those times.
BaldarTFlagass

What's with the weird neckties on them dames?
- actor212
  
  They caught them eating out.
  
  (go on…you know you want to….)
  - Tundra Grifter
    
    They had lobster for lunch and forgot to take off the bibs?
    - actor212
      
      Tacos. Fish tacos.
      - Tundra Grifter
        
        Tuna or red snapper?
      - actor212
        
        Snapper, of course. The men had Coney Island whitefish
- iburl
  
  Some of those are waddles and although they are wearing dresses, they ain't ladies.
GreatChristiano

Ya know, I wish Romney would have consulted with O'bama on his plan before he implemented it in Massemachussetts.
nounverb911

The butler in the study with a candlestick.
- Tundra Grifter
  
  I'll take Miss Scarlet in the Library.
  - flamingpdog
    
    The butler took Miss Scarlet in the Library with a candlestick.
    - Tundra Grifter
      
      I wouldn't mind having the rope – but I wouldn't want my intentions to be misunderstood.
      - Chick-Fil-Atheist™
        
        hard to hear your intentions if your AA session goes wrong with that rope. Just sayin'.
- GreatChristiano
  
  Clinton in the oval office with a cigar.
actor212

Wait a minute! Editrix! This is an old photo!

That curtain is CLEARLY pre-Kagan, whom anyone knows is allergic to red!
- Callyson
  
  Looking at that photo, I'd say Scalia could use some of that Obamacare. But maybe I am being too optimistic…
BaldarTFlagass

The Supremes really went downhill after Diana Ross left the group.
- Designer_Rants
  
  Over the hill, too. also.
x111e7thst

If they really care about Amerikkka the Supremes will declare the Kenyan's long form birf certifikate Unconstitutional and order their bailiff to deport him.
- Crank_Tango
  
  "Rusty" or GTFO.
- Biff
  
  Whack his peepee!
WhatTheHolyHeck

I'd hate to see them break their streak of kicking cases back to the district courts. It's been so effective thus far in abdicating responsibility on politically hot issues.
- V572 Flambé
  
  Except for gun worship and corporate oligarchy, which they strongly favor. They even commanded the Citizens United plaintiffs to come back and re-argue the case so they could change their vote.
littlebigdaddy

Needz moar party hats.
oldedinvn

I bet on 8- 3, cause they ain't not going to allow godless cominism. And also too will aks the churches how to reinstate the inquisition.
SexySmurf

In that picture, Elena Kagan looks like a ninety-year-old white dude.
- Guppy
  
  If only our editors had some sort of photo-manipulation tool…
  - flamingpdog
    
    The picture would be so much more fappable to if it had Blingee added.
    - Guppy
      
      Yes, it's only passably fappable as it is.
      - nonbeliever7
        
        I got a fappable Kagan photo. Would you like a copy?
- Millennial Malaise
  
  She probably judges like one too. If any of the "liberals" defect, my money is on Elena.
  - GOPCrusher
    
    I thought it was Sotomayor that jumped ship on the Citizens United ruling?
    - Millennial Malaise
      
      It's too early to tell since she hasn't seen that many cases yet but most recently she sided with ( http://www.emptywheel.net/2012/02/21/elena-kagan-… ) the "activists" on the question of a miranda violation of a man who was already in prison (grey-ish area but still). And wasn't there some question about whether she was going to recuse herself from this case or was that just Republican bluster?
      
      Also, how does one do a hypertext link?
      - GOPCrusher
        
        Wow. That does really suck.
      - Biel_ze_Bubba
        
        Paste in your link, submit your comment, then go back and edit it. Type whatever you like between the last pair of carets ( blank">YOUR-LINK-HERE</a ), hit "Save", and that will become the link.
        If it doesn't work, it's usually because the url got mucked up; you can go back and edit it.
Baconzgood

Opie looking one: Repeal.
Fat I-Tie: Repeal
Black one who votes like a white one:Repeal
Guy who Judged OJ: Repeal
Guy that shares a name with Punk Rock band: Meh?
Chick # one: Keep
Chick # two: Keep
Chick # three: Keep
West Coast Liberal: Keep.
- PubOption
  
  Captain Sensible for the Supreme Court!
- Spurning Beer
  
  There's a Justice Sexpistols?
  - Baconzgood
    
    That would kick ass!
  - Advn2rgirl
    
    You know: I learned this week that Ron Sexsmith's real name is Ronald Sexsmith! Who knew? (Aside from his daddy, I mean…)
- Lascauxcaveman
  
  Yeah, if it wasn't for the Kennedy Factor, the rest of the nine old men and laydeez could just phone it in. Literally.
  
  I hope they prove me wrong on this one.
Mumbletypeg

Where have they hidden Elena Kagan? Or is she over at the racquet club swapping shop with Eliot Spitzer again. Hie thee hither, yon whippersnapper Kagan — no time to dilly-dally further, Judgment Day is upon us!
- actor212
  
  Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, she's under Sotomayor's robe… ;-)
  - Biff
    
    This comment just screams for a wildly inappropriate reference to softball. And plaid. Hell, throw in a Subaru, too.
    - actor212
      
      Doc Martens!
weej_bain

Not to wish ill health on anyone, but it looks to me that Thomas & Scalia need moar ham biscuits and gravy. Lots moar.
- forgracie
  
  …and cartons of cigarettes and liquor.
BaldarTFlagass

I think they are going to rule that George W Bush is president again.
- prommie
  
  Quiet, don't give Scalia the idea.
Gratuitous World

I predict dancing in the streets, celebrating the recission of insurance for a million American children. USA!
- oldedinvn
  
  Why insure the little buggers when they ain;t job creators
  - WhatTheHolyHeck
    
    Heck, they're job refusers. Those school floors aren't going to mop themselves.
- spends2much
  
  It's what Supply Side Jesus wants…
- HippieEsq
  
  Even so, that outburst of activity will instantly kill of a substantial portion of the fat-asses via stroke, heart attack, and fatal hoverround collissions. So we've got that to look forward to.
Lucidamente1

"Hmmm. Bring millions of new customers to the insurance companies or potentially destroy the Kenyan usurper's presidency. What will it be?"
- freakishlywrong
  
  It's a really tough call.I mean, what's better for the public good?
Extemporanus

Oy vey, I think I accidentally just voted for Pat Buchannan.
actor212

But will the decision play in Obamaville?
nounverb911

Is that a group shot of Cheney's heart transplant approval board?
DerrickWildcat

Since Obamacare is Black, only Thomas and maybe Sotomayor will vote for it.
- oldedinvn
  
  Fool, Thomas is white.
  - nounverb911
    
    Only his pubes are blah.
    - Jus_Wonderin
      
      Thank God they are not silver as they really would have never shown up on that Coke can.
coolhandnuke

5-4 on a Kennedy home run in the ninth.
The teabags win the pennant!
The teabags win the pennant!
The teabags win the pennant!
freakishlywrong

I wonder if Ginny Thomas will be out there with a bull horn screeching about socialism in a statue of liberty hat. Because that would be hi-fucking-larias.
- Guppy
  
  I thought she saved that for the bedroom.
  - Chick-Fil-Atheist™
    
    VIDEO OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN
    - horsedreamer_1
      
      http://www.pornhub.com/interracialpatrioticcoserv…
- Barrelhse
  
  Ginny Thomas, cow's twat.
- Geminisunmars
  
  I have this little fantasy where things are not going too well in the Thomas household, and, just to piss her off, Clarence votes to uphold O'bamamamamcare. Now that would be hi-fucking-larias!
  - Guppy
    
    You mean he'll find a new medium to vent his passive-aggression against his wife into other than groping women at the office?
    - Geminisunmars
      
      Yeah. Clarence, reach out in a whole new way, why dontcha?
cheetojeebus

MegaDeath Panelz!!111111111
- Jus_Wonderin
  
  I liked their second album better.
RadioStalingrad

Good, they rescind Obamacare and then they have to pull the plug on Cheney.
- Jus_Wonderin
  
  "Well, you see, the Multitronic Units one through four were not entirely succesful. But this one is. M-5 is ready to take control of the ship."
metamarcisf

Kentucky, 81-67
- GreatChristiano
  
  They are unbeatable I tells ya…
memzilla

"Hey, you got Diebold® in my United Healthcare®!"

"No, you got United Healthcare® in my Diebold®!"
prommie

Some commentators are savvy enough to see that its not about the merits, and that the "conservative" radicals on the court all want to strike it down, but then they make the mistake of thinking that there is some kind of question over whether they would be so brazen, whether they have too much concern for the institution and the public faith in the Court. What a silly idea, to think that they might "hold themselves back" out of "integrity." They have no fucking integrity, and no care for anything in the world except furthering their agenda (and in Thomas' case, getting revenge on all the liberal smarty-pants who called him an idiot). They will be as brazen as they were in Bush v. Gore, they have no fucking compunctions, they are true revolutionaries and they believe lawbreaking is justified in defense of their cause.
- Terry
  
  There was a correspondent on NPR this weekend saying just about the same thing. The question was whether Chief Justice Roberts would come down on the side of the health care act as so to avoid a deeply divided Court. The correspondent and host were professional enough not to chuckle at the very thought.
- V572 Flambé
  
  Well, I feel a lot better about this now.
- ph7
  
  Agreed:
  
  Goal #1 – advance agenda
  Goal #2 – line up spare donor hearts so conservative majority will last forever.
  - V572 Hogan Gidley
    
    Do the "justices" have to get in line behind Cheney on the waiting list?
- Guppy
  
  "Activist judges" is a lot easier to type.
- James Michael Curley
  
  You should give a 'Spoilers' alert. I was looking forward to the next "Pirates of the Caribean" movie; "Revenge of the Dancing Bears."
  - Guppy
    
    SPOILER ALERT:
    
    The worst George Zimmerman will be convicted of is discharging a firearm in a residential area, and the Florida Legislature won't change one letter of the law the NRA wrote for them.
    
    There, was that better?
    - nonbeliever7
      
      Then he'll get a job on Fox.
      - teebob2000
        
        … as special correspondent for the blacks and browns.
        
        "See?? We're not ALL white!"
- An_Outhouse
  
  Citizens United pretty much confirmed that ideology trumps everything.
- ttommyunger
  
  Nailed it!
OC_Surf_Serf

25 or 6 to 4
- weej_bain
  
  We need somebody from Chicago to soonly make another appointment. Very much Soonly.
- proudgrampa
  
  Wha-? You mean the Daley machine controls the Supreme Court? Dead justices voting? Voting early and often?
  
  Who woulda thunk it?
- WhatTheHolyHeck
  
  This is Chicago-style politics I can get behind.
prommie

Oh, and fucking Roberts illegally stole those kids of his from Ireland through some kind of scam central-american adoption fraud, too. Needs to be remembered.
- Veritas78
  
  Because he couldn't get it up for his "beard-wife", despite all Elaine Chou's advice about how she had "handled" Mitch's waddle.
Chill-A-Sketch

Worst March Madness bracket, ever.
- proudgrampa
  
  Most timely avatar, ever!
  
  Cheers!
ThankYouJeebus

If this is anything like Citizen's United, they'll hear the arguments in this case and then decide that trans-vaginal ultrasounds are people, my friends.
Mumbletypeg

TAGGED: THE ODDS ARE GOOD BUT THE GOODS ARE ODD

And likewise: an oldie isn't a goodie all the time, just because a goodie is an oldie some of the time.
donner_froh

Got some big boys on the court. Scalia must take a size 60 Extra Stout robe.
- Guppy
  
  More like 40 gal Glad bag, a/k/a the Romney Raincoat.
- flamingpdog
  
  He and Slappy Thomas have to go robe shopping at Wal Mart because it's the only place that has them in size XXXXL.
- Veritas78
  
  There are two Opus Dei altar boys under there.
Barb

Someone needs to stop the death panels of Herman Cain. He snuffed a goldfish for one ad and now there is that creepy little girl, a catapulted rabbit and a shotgun in the new ad. Why does Herman Cain hate animals? Why is Herman Cain making ads? http://sickofstimulus.com/
- actor212
  
  a catapulted rabbit
  
  He remade "The Holy Grail"?????
  - Barb
    
    Never seen The Holy Grail.
    - Chick-Fil-Atheist™
      
      Please watch this movie. Soon. Seriously. Oh, and don't drink anything for a few hours beforehand. If you're in tuned to British language styles and phrases, you will piss yourself royally.
      
      If you're not, watch it ten times until you are. Trust me… this movie never gets old, ever.
      - Chet Kincaid
        
        "Life Of Brian" is the masterpiece.
      - Barb
        
        Thanks for the advice, Chick. I'm going to watch it and think of you.
    - SorosBot
      
      Never seen the Holy Grail? You need to do so as soon as you can then – you must miss like half the references here without it.
      
      And to pass, you must find us – a shrubbery!
    - flamingpdog
      
      Never seen The Holy Grail? Why do you hate ~~America~~ Great Britain?
    - Biel_ze_Bubba
      
      Then you have never seen a "flesh wound".
  - MosesInvests
    
    Run away! Run away!
    - Lascauxcaveman
      
      "Nooooo, you *knew*, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little *bunny*, isn't it?"
      - Chick-Fil-Atheist™
        
        Manky Scots Git!
      - actor212
        
        Gaston! Fetchez la vache!
- Jus_Wonderin
  
  I was going to write an old joke here about Herman being an impotent, er, I mean, important guy, but it might be too rude.
- Biff
  
  I think that's the rabbit that attacked Jimmy Carter. Herb Cain is just trying to be helpful.
- flamingpdog
  
  Why is Michele Bachmann going on Sunday morning TeeVee talk/snooze shows?
  Why is Rick Perry still alive? I think only Republican Jesus can answer these questions.
  - Mumbletypeg
    
    Why is Herman Cain making ads?
    
    Funny cause I was just browsing an older thread, wherein imissopus noticed Cain was taking suggestions for his response to the SOTU address. I'd forgotten Cain was picked by the Tea Party to give their response. He had already canceled his campaign. But he hasn't canceled the incessant marketing of himself to a population segment that sees him as more of a brand name than a human, a persona rather than a person.
    
    only Republican Jesus
    
    Here's one Republican Jesus, for your viewing pleasure. (Made me laugh.)
- James Michael Curley
  
  Herman Cain – a cross between Monty Python and Alex Forrest.
- GOPCrusher
  
  Herb Cain must of been taking grifting lessons from Bible Spice.
PuckStopsHere

Do you see any of these upstanding Americans wearing Hoodies? Don't think so. And have any of them been shot while walking around their neighborhoods? Again, don't think so. As for how they will vote on the constitutionality of the "Affordable Care Act", what Prommie said.
- V572 Hogan Gidley
  
  Walking is really un-American, because it does not support our Petro-Oligarchy in the manner to which they've become accustomed. And mass transit?—have you ever looked at the kind of people who ride buses?
- An_Outhouse
  
  Faux News removed the hoodie from their on line selection of American Patriot souvenirs (even if souvenir is French).
RadioStalingrad

I know one place I never want to go: the SCOTUS sauna.
- Terry
  
  No, but the conversations at the female Justice's regular Margarita Night would be interesting.
- Guppy
  
  Someone hasn't read Jon Stewart's book.
  - RadioStalingrad
    
    Srsly? I'll check it out when I get home.
lefty74

There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and ever eatable, drinkable and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
– Mark Twain's Autobiography

Oh and did I say fuck you, Alito and Thomas and the fouled up swearing in asshole.
- deanbooth
  
  The fouled up swearing in still pisses me off. That arrogant fucker.
sbj1964

The supreme Court has become nothing more than an extention of the RNC.They are another example of how the system has failed.
- HippieEsq
  
  too many ladies and Heebs on SCOTUS to make that comparison fly. SCOTUS looks more to me like an extension of a multi-religious, multi-ethnic disfuncitonal family. Except in this family black people don't ever talk and Italians are prudes.
MozakiBlocks

6-3 to uphold.

Yes, it rains on my planet, why do you ask?
- James Michael Curley
  
  That's my prediction also.
- Lascauxcaveman
  
  So which one is going to be the traitor to the Republican master race? Alito? Roberts?
  
  Surely not Scalia or Mini-Me-Thomas.
  - MozakiBlocks
    
    I suspect Kennedy and Roberts will vote to uphold with Fat Tony, Slappy and Opie dissenting.
    
    And Roberts writes the majority opinion.
    - fuflans
      
      npr this am (nina totenburg? can't remember) was saying alito might uphold and kennedy might have trouble upholding.
      
      but i can't remember why as i got four hours of sleep and i have lady bits.
  - Advn2rgirl
    
    You heard about the assassination attempt on Clarence Thomas, right? They put poison on Scalia's butthole.
- nonbeliever7
  
  Me too. I'm guessing that Obama's elitist Harvard Law degree may have been useful when this law was written.
- sarah_connor
  
  I might even venture 7-2. But if it goes back maybe we'll have another shot at single payer.
  
  Rock chalk, chicken hawk, I'm a bracket buster, etc.
MissNancyPriss

Oh now that's a silly question.
prommie

Have I seen Thomas somewhere before? Was it on a box of rice?
- actor212
  
  I don't think he's an Uncle Ben….
  - Biff
    
    Definitely an Uncle Thomas, though.
- RadioStalingrad
  
  A Coca-Cola promotion?
- Jus_Wonderin
  
  A PSA? Pubic Service Announcement?
- flamingpdog
  
  I think it was on a box of pancake mix.
  
  Well look at the picture – he is wearing a dress.
- deanbooth
  
  Cream of Scalia?
- actor212
  
  Wasn't he in Song of the South?
- Terry
  
  No, it was standing by his wife at a tea bagger fundraiser.
- mrblifil
  
  Hard to tell, he often wears his hoodie up.
- reasonbran
  
  He was in a movie: Another Hill to Climb.
- Veritas78
  
  I wish you had seen him on a carton of milk. Or in the Post Office.
  
  Do they do that anymore?
BlueStateLibel

Here's my insightful analysis: they will rule that Obamacare is ILLEGAL because Obama's a socialist, but that Romneycare, which is the exact same thing, is LEGAL because Mitt Rmoney is a rich white guy.
- spends2much
  
  Exactly- if we called it something a little less, ethnic …
chascates

See precedent, Bush v. Gore, 531 U.S. 98 (2000).
fartknocker

I know this was produced PBS, a bastion of liberals according to the API whore Jim Inhofe, but I believe this is a pretty cool illustration of how the Affordable Health Care Act impacts Americans. The statement about the year 2037 is pretty scary:
http://newshour.tumblr.com/post/19842196257/healt…

Oh, and fuck Rick Perry, Rick Scott, Rick Santorum and Scott Walker.
not that Dewey

Is there such thing as point-shaving in a Supreme Court decision? My money's on the ref.
- V572 Hogan Gidley
  
  Maybe Kennedy takes bribes from the "liberal" and conservative justices, and swings toward the side that pays him the most.
James Michael Curley

Maybe they will vote so that all of us can have the same free healthcare for life they get. Maybe I should take a couple aspirin and go back to bed.
- Biff
  
  Don't they fall from between your knees when you roll over?
  - James Michael Curley
    
    My knees are usually tied together.
    - actor212
      
      Dude! I was the guy in the gimp suit!
Toomush_Infer

What goes on under the robes stays under the robes….actually, it's whatever side has more guns….oh, we know that, too?…
- Isyaignert
  
  They should have NASCAR-like patches on their robes to show where their true loyalties lie.
  - Toomush_Infer
    
    I like it – it'd probably be the same companies….
Pragmatist2

No snark – this is a no-brainer. It is 7-2 to uphold the law with Roberts writing the majority and Scalia joining in a concurring opinion. That's on a bad day. On a good day it is 8-1. Thomas dissents muttering about death panels and the end of freedom as we know it. the phrase "economic slavery" may be mentioned
- Chick-Fil-Atheist™
  
  All I'm hearing is you saying something about how the Koch Brothers failed to pay a vig to the justices. Is that right?
- Jus_Wonderin
  
  Do I need to update my bracket?
- GOPCrusher
  
  No less than two on dissention. Scalia and Thomas rule as a team.
  - Pragmatist2
    
    Not on this one. Scalia will have nothing but scorn for the argument that there is some new liberty interest implicit in the Commerce Clause. He may be wrong, but the man is absolutely consistent.
Chick-Fil-Atheist™

Why don't they skip the ACA, and just talk about ruttin' and contraceptives? It'll be a 6-3 vote, with the wimminz' votes not counting, for being wimminz.
Biff

From the annoying poll over there>>>>>>>

What do you think?
Do you believe that convicted felons should be allowed to vote in public after they have completed their punishment?

WTF, hengh?
- Biff
  
  I mean really, who else gets to vote in public, anyway?
spends2much

Gingrichcare= F*ck you, you poor piece of crap. If you want free health care, become Vice President!
Santorumcare= Pray for health. Except for me and my family, we go to a sweet doctor and make our own choices.
Romneycare= Same as the plan that last dude had, but with a less ethnic name!
- V572 Hogan Gidley
  
  Romney's not even signing up for Medicare! That's how much he's against government-run health care! The fact that he's obscenely wealthy and can buy and sell docs and hospitals like with the rounding errors in his Cayman Island accounts has nothing to do with it.
Isyaignert

If Clarence Thomas had any integrity, he would recuse himself because of his wife's anti-healthcare work; but, he has no integrity (or intelligence, class or morals).
- James Michael Curley
  
  And stop going to the Rose Bowl Parade dressed as a giant can of Coca-Cola.
- prommie
  
  Thomas has nothing but a giant seething ball of resentment. Its stuck in his craw.
- teebob2000
  
  Oh, nice going, piss him off even more!
- GOPCrusher
  
  Dude. You used the words "Clarence Thomas" and "Integrity" in the same sentence.
ddanaan

It will be 6-3.in favor of ACA. Kennedy will go for itwhich means it will pass and Roberts will jump on when he sees it will pass, since he will want to write the decision. All the sophisticated dynamics of a Kindergarten playground.
hagajim

I personally think they will decline to rule on it as not being ripe (until 2014) when the individual mandate actually kicks in. Usually the Court would indicate there is no standing….however, because they are taking the case, I figure they'll gun Travyon (I mean Obama) down.
- V572 Hogan Gidley
  
  The cable wise men are saying the brevity of this morning's session indicates they don't want to decide this/put off making the decision on the technicality. This either means they don't want to give the American people even two years of positive experience under ACA, or they think the Mayans were right so why fuck with this.
GreatChristiano

All good commies agree that it is easier to make it through times of freedom with no health rather than times of health and no freedom.
johnnyzhivago

I predict a tie.
- James Michael Curley
  
  Then its a win for uphold.
thefrontpage

Clarence Thomas and John Roberts, spotted at an event at the Crew Club in D.C. this past weekend, told several very close friends there that when they're hearing cases in the Supreme Court, on duty, they don't wear anything under their robes. And Thomas said he often daydreams about Ann Coulter and felching when he's sitting on the bench. Roberts says he thinks about dougnuts, Jill Biden, caramel cremes, Cleveland steamers, oysters, Michelle Malkin and Reese's peanut butter cups.
MissTaken

I just hope that whoever votes the opposite direction of Thomas gets the honor of middle of the night drunken phone calls from Ginny demanding their apologies.
- SorosBot
  
  Along with long detailed descriptions of porno scenes starring Long Dong Silver. Say, what's that on my Coke?
- Guppy
  
  In 2032.
Limeylizzie

Sometimes, often, I don't know why I still live in this benighted country.
- Chick-Fil-Atheist™
  
  because flying back will require a mortgage?
- JerkCade
  
  LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT!!!
- Lascauxcaveman
  
  I thought you lived in NYC?
  
  TOTALLY different country, miss.
  - Limeylizzie
    
    I also live in Los Angeles, if I had my druthers I would live in Maine or Vermont.
- Toomush_Infer
  
  You could always move to Hawaii….that's not really part of our country, is it?….
  - anniegetyerfun
    
    Plenty of Congresspeople say no!
joshleefolsom

As part of a special publication devoted to the case, the ABA surveyed a group of veteran observers and asked them to predict the outcome. The results? Eighty-five percent predicted that the court will uphold the law.
http://www.tnr.com/blog/jonathan-cohn/101842/supr…

I hope they're right, because I bet Romney $10,000 that Obamacare will win.
- SorosBot
  
  To be serious for a second, it'll probably all come down to Kennedy and I think he'll probably have one of his non-hateful moments and vote to uphold.
MissTaken

I can't vote until I hear the Gamemakers scores on each of them first.
SorosBot

Because it's where all you stuff is?
- Limeylizzie
  
  That is probably true, plus I have an oldish spouse who wouldn't want to come with me.
  - Guppy
    
    Do what Newt would do and trade him in for an anorexic albino.
    - teebob2000
      
      Albino slander!!!
  - anniegetyerfun
    
    Um, the rest of us will come with you. We ARE talking UK, yes? TAKE ME THERE.
DaRooster

Sheesh… one post about the Supremes and- NO MORE POSTS EVER!

We are definitely headed in the right direction…
HippieEsq

SCOTUS/Affordable Care Act Haiku:

Cuccinelli, wet
Thomas, silent and erect
Roberts a surprise upfist
BarackMyWorld

Neez less Anthony Kennedy, moar Ted Kennedy.
mavenmaven

OK, I'm from Vegas, are we placing odds?
- Toomush_Infer
  
  I'm sure we are – check the odds sheets…
JerkCade

So, the ACA was basically written by the Heritage Foundation and the insurance companies (with the exception of that pesky ending rescission part), but everybody is expecting our venal and wholly-bought Supreme Ct. to what? Strike it down?

No, my friends, it will go at least 7-2 in favor and single-payer will be dead for at least another 20 years.
BaldarTFlagass

Wonkette Bookmaker: Will "Wonkette Bookmaker: What Will Be the Final Supreme Court Vote Against Obamacare?" be the final post of the day for Monday, March 26?
BarackMyWorld

I wanna know when Rebecca is going to announce those poll results!
Robman2

Why does the black guy only have one leg?
- James Michael Curley
  
  Angelina Jolie borrowed it.
  - GOPCrusher
    
    She wears it well.
- Chichikovovich
  
  3/5 rule.
- bagofmice
  
  He has government run health care.
- Advn2rgirl
  
  That's not his leg.
  - anniegetyerfun
    
    I can't believe it took five comments before we got to this one!
Blueb4sunrise

I think that there's too many posts so far today, not too few.
- Mumbletypeg
  
  …but if I 'thumb' this, because it's funny, won't it look like I'm agreeing it's "too many posts" — which I don't?
  It's like the conundrum faced on Facebook when someone posts a thoughtful, or pertinent, or salient link to a story that contains BAD NEWZ so while I don't want to concur "That's Great!" still I want to thank them for mentioning the story.
  - Blueb4sunrise
    
    Yes.
OneYieldRegular

I hate to be non-snarky on Wonkette first thing on a Monday morning, but as regards the Supreme Court, Justice John Paul Stevens was more prophetic than Nostradamus when he wrote in his 2000 Bush/Gore dissent, "Although we may never know with complete certainty the identity of the winner of this year's Presidential election, the identity of the loser is perfectly clear. It is the Nation's confidence in the judge as an impartial guardian of the rule of law."
- Isyaignert
  
  Good post! As we now know, Al Gore won Florida according the the NYT and other reporters who actually counted the votes after the unelected lifetime politicians in robes stole the election in favor of their corporate overlords.
  
  The world would look a lot different if Gore had fought harder and hadn't handed the keys to the WH over to that beady-eye, oily snake and the sociopathic drunken fukhead.
Poindexter718

Apparently the wee one and the wise looking latina ordered the lobster.
- Naked_Bunny
  
  Female justices have to cover their bosoms better.
Naked_Bunny

I learned from conservatives that judges should not rule on issues that could personally affect them, so I assume that any justices getting government-based healthcare insurance will recuse themselves.
OurDailyBread

16-4. I was homeschooled. I hated my teachers. All of them–through all 7 grades.
SwanSwanH

Rooting for a 0-0 tie with lots of injuries.
- bagofmice
  
  The case will create a miasma of robes, fluttering in fury.
  - Toomush_Infer
    
    How Yeatsian…..
BigSkullF*ckingDog

I think the ethnic looking lady will win it all in overtime.
reasonbran

I am an optimist and believe that a) reason will prevail, and b) the health care mandate will be upheld.

We are all, of course, shaped by our history. If SCOTUS had ruled against Gore in 2000, I might feel differently.
mrblifil

They'll pull out some equivocating unanimous decision so we all see starbursts for a while, then when we least suspect it WHAM Roberts brings the Hammer down.
lochnessmonster

I think that's the best survey I ever took…short, sweet, to the point!
ttommyunger

Thought bubbles: Roberts: No, I'm not gay, but I did experiment a little in college. Alito: Am I going to die without knowing what a blowjob is like? Probably. Scalia: Fuggagetaboutit! Thomas: OK, I've got the white pussy, but shit, that is one ugly unpleasant fucking woman.
- Veritas78
  
  Thomas dreams of Callista. Who may be available soon.
  - ttommyunger
    
    Thomas will no doubt be able to go at least seven inches where no man has gone before….
IonaTrailer

Has anyone noticed how Justice Scalia bears a striking resemblance to Long John Silver?
http://s114.photobucket.com/albums/n264/IonaTrail…
jgalleg4

I think that they might vote 5-4. Of course, they could go for a 5-4 vote that B. Hussein Obama is an EVIL COMMIE SCUMBAG.
MadBrahms

Intrade has the odds of Obamacare being struck down this year at 33%, though over 60% (?!) by the end of 2013.

Haha, but Intrade, obviously the people who would submit their opinions to a "market" to find Truth are bleeding-heart liberals with no bias.
docterry6973

The conservatives get a two-fer here. They can snuff out creeping Socialism and help the GOP defeat Obama. 5-4 against, like the boss said.
DahBoner

#2 With a Bullet, On the Wrong Side of History, Bethind Dred Scott

You couldn't dance to that hot mess, either…
finallyhappy

I will be at the rally(supporting– of course, do I look like a teabagger to you??) tomorrow. If you see any footage and there is an older lady wearing a t-shirt with Obama punching a zombie- and holding a pink yarn uterus(me- not the Prez)- I will have outed myself to Wonkette. I'd post the photo of the uterus here but do not know how
rocktonsam

do these people have super pacs?
DahBoner

I predict Obamacare will be thrown out under a little-used commerce clause:

The Terrible Two Year-old "You Can't Make Me Do Anything" clause…

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