Some Wisconsin GOP state Senate dude got recalled for being a dick and also banging some lobbyist chick who wasn’t his wife, and then later he got a DUI and got arrested and now he is on trial. But was it a frame-up? IT WAS A FRAME-UP, he and his lawyers now say. Because of how all the Wisconsin public sector workers vowed to ruin his life! Also? Randy Hopper totally cried in court, like Darrell Issa, a known crybaby, who cries.
So how did those Union Thugz set out to “get” Randy Hopper, and did they succeed? (Of course they did. They are all-powerful. They are legion. They are THE BORG.) Take it away, TPM:
“The day everything broke loose in Madison, I had members of the union in my office who said, ‘If you don’t support us, we are going to destroy your life,’” [Randy] Hopper said. “We’re going to picket your kids’ schools, we’re going to tear apart your reputation, we’re going to have you recalled.”
Also, according to the Fond du Lac Reporter, Hopper and Melowski targeted the arresting officer, Deputy Nick Venne, for having earlier in the year signed one of the petitions to recall Hopper, and also for having not administered a full blood test to Hopper at the police station.
For his own part, Venne confirmed that he signed the petition, but said this played no role in the arrest — that Hopper smelled of alcohol, and gave other suspicious signs in a field sobriety test.
Good to know there’s still some fine people — like Randy Hopper — who take personal responsibility for their actions. Stand firm, Randy Hopper! Just because you are paranoid (and a little bit drunk?) doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.
[Appleton Post Crescent, via TPM]
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The union made him drink? That's some union.
Ironically, it was The Women's Christian Temperance Union.
Normally its their marital union that drives (R)s to drink…
I wish my union would get me drunk.
Alcohol:
Because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad.
Dear Penthouse,
I never thought this would happen to me, but I was just sitting there, eating a salad….
It usually involves tossing one though.
I have done that, & it was magnificent.
I know exactly how he feels. I've been stuck at 99p forever.
It must be the p-unions.
Yeah but lots of terrible Alice Waters (Chez Panisse freak and really bad public speaker) stories have. She wasted 20 minutes of my (and another couple thousand people who were at Mills College's graduation ceremonies) life talking about Bill Clinton eating an apple. In 90 degree heat. While half the audience was starving waiting for after grad brunch. And even more were hung over from pre grad binge drinking.
Hannibal Lecter disagrees
You Don't Win Friends with Salad
Randy Hopper
Hahaha. I laughed and laughed at that name last year, too.
Try the "It was in my jeans!" defense, Randy!
~
I've been working on the railroading,
all the live-long day.
I've been working on the railroading,
just to put this guy away.
That warms my cockles, Comrade!
It's all a conspiracy; that cop forced him to drink a fifth of vodka then get behind the wheel!
Skyy's the limit.
Did you see how that bottle was dressed?
So if it's proved to be a "frame-up," that means he didn't do it, right?
(Nice use of polyptoton with cried/ crybaby/ cries)…
If these union thugs are really so all-powerful, you'd think we'd have a higher unionization rate than 11%.
I can't tell you how many times I tell people this when they bring up the "big, bad unions." The unions have been big and bad since the 50's, and even then, their peak rate was 35%. Corporations own this country, and always have. When they draw the false equivalency between the power of corporations and the power of unions I just want to scream. Here in my homestate of Michigan — a state often regarded as a union power house — the unionization rate is only a little over 18%.
Was the "lobbyist chick" a union organizer or a union agitator or a union goon (just to keep with the narrative)?
All of them, er, Katie.
Needs moar Soros/ACORN/Black Panthers.
So if unions have control over the police…does that mean unions are to blame for Zimmerman not being arrested for murder?
Do NOT give them any ideas.
Yes but O'bama controls the unions, right?
So we should just blame O'bama.
Let's develop a Wingnut Rock Paper Scissors!
So we just gotta figure out who O'bama would blame…
Or a wingnut version of Clue: It was the union thug in the bathroom with the copy of Saul Alinsky.
I thought it was Bill Ayres in the conservatory with a Molotov cocktail.
Or Rev. Wright in the library with a Koran.
Or Michelle Obama in the kitchen with an over-sized butternut squash.
Or The Gheyz in the ballroom with their Agenda.
Look, if this guy spent the rest of his life terrified that union thugs were about to do a pay-back on his ass, I'd consider that a karmically appropriate outcome.
Do you know who else was railroaded for drunk driving?
Cornelius Vanderbilt?
Anderson Cooper's great great great? grandfather.
Yes, his mother is Gloria Vanderbilt.
From the college in Tennerssee?
Anderson Cooper by Diane Arbus
Casey Jones?
Very good.
Hey, no fair answering your own question one minute ahead of me!
Casey Jones?
Casey Stengel?
KC and the Sunshine Band?
They drove me to drink.
Casey Anthony?
Tony La Russa?
The steel hammerin' man?
You sound like a Seattleite! I know the Hammering Man at SAM.
Boxcar Willie?
Me.
I wish Dubya?
President Grant?
Good jorb Randy! Just piss off those (unionized) cops even more!
I'm totes sure that's going to work in your favor!
Randy Hopper totally cried in court, like Darrell Issa, a known crybaby, who cries.
Are there any statistics on tear-duct implants in Republiklan politicians?
I clicked on the link for Darryll Issa and saw "Elijah Cummings" – what a great porn star name! Hahaha!
That's what he gets for driving with a fucking hoodie on.
He just wanted to be able to bang a chick and drive drunk just like everyone else can!
Ahhh, you know who *else* likes to "stand firm?"
Anthony Weiner?
Anyone taking Dr Porkenheimer's Boner Juice?
Rush Limbaugh after a couple of vials of intravenous Mexican El Viagra and a trip to a Dominican orphanage?
This guy?
OK, he's sitting. So sue me.
Ribbed, for HER pleasure…
George Zimmerman?
Dan Quayle?
(Did anyone actually read that thing?)
Well it's not Larry Craig. He only tapped firm.
Dewey Cox?
Old Senator Hopper
Never a flip-flopper
But he left his wife, for Valerie Cass
Who unlike wife was willing to allow entry in the ass
& for this, he faces the bias of a copper
I'm sure the Rand Corp, Big Foot/Feet, the FreeMasons, Satan and the Reverse Vampires will also be blamed.
BREAKING — Randy Hopper Acquitted!
Scab jurors!
If the glug, glug, glug don't fit, you must acquit!
Holy fuck, those are some dumb fucking jurors.
Yeah, I sent that in as a tip before this post, but the Editrix musta been working off old intel.
Take home message kids: It's OK to drink and drive if the cops don't like you.
Take home message: never take a roadside breathalyzer test, unless you know you're stone cold sober.
Those Union thugs will just find another way to get him.
They could just give Valerie Cass an STD. After being recalled and going through a messy divorce, it would be the icing on the "cake". He'll wish he'd gotten the DUI conviction instead.
Probably won't happen but eh, a Shark can dream. Karma is a bitch, as they say.
From TPM, the likely reason:
Hopper explained that he refused to take a breathalyzer test at the county jail, because county employees had threatened him in the past. A preliminary test that jail staffers were able to take showed a blood alcohol content of 0.13%, above the 0.08% limit, but this is not admissible as evidence in the trial.
Also–that photo of Hopper in the TPM story? Why, no, Hopper is not stoned at all!
Judge cited something called the "IOKIYAR." Must of passed when the Democrats fled the state last year.
If he were tried in Arizona the jury would be offering him reparations, running him for higher office, and recommending that he carry a firearm on his person for quick use when he's too drunk to get his revolver out of the glove compartment.
Union bitch set me up!
Ah, you gotta respect the classics.
Randy Hopper, it's only a short trip from there to, "You put me out in Denver 'cause my union wouldn't suck your dick".
Makes one sit up and take notice now that a petition has been cross-referenced by defense lawyers. What next?
That's not the first case I've heard of someone being outed and criticized for signing a recall petition. So typical of Republicans. They're probably trying to figure out retribution for everyone who signed.
Did he cry in court because he was drunk there, too?
Melowski also questioned Tim and Tammy Hicken — the husband and wife who along with their daughter first phoned the police about an erratic driver — about their having signed and circulated petitions to recall Gov. Scott Walker. Tim Hicken is a member of the union at the Fond du Lac County Highway Department.
Genius — the conspiracy extended to bystanders who had no idea who Mr. Hopper was, but reported him as a menace to highway traffic because they probably wouldn't have liked him in the first place. It speaks to the power of unions in Wisconsin that if they only had a time machine, ESP and powerful facial-recognition software that could look inside of moving vehicles, they could have pulled this off.
So if 100% of Wisconsin voters had signed the recall petition, Hopper would be free to break any and all laws in the state, because it's always going to be a conspiracy? Makes sense to me.
This reminds me of the time the Democrats tricked the Repubicans into passing vaginal probe laws.
Or when the liberals brought Rush down to their level and made him say terrible misogynistic things.
Or how when Bill Clinton corrupted the bright-eyed Speaker of the House by having sex with that intern.
It's not called "acting like an entitled asshole" if you're a Republican.
Mostly because there's no acting involved. 100% real, oh yeah.
Randy – your excuse is FAIL.
Try this:
I was just sitting at home playing Bible Pictionary with my wife and non-aborted kids when ACORN thugz and Jeremiah Wright came in demanding that I chug a gallon of Hennessy and some purple drank, etc.etc. Then drunk, etc. Barry, Holder, set-up, Hawaii, Fast/Furious/bailouts, whatever – FRAMED.
Ah, but the defense was WIN.
They must have used the Chewbacca Strategy.
My next crime spree is SO going to be the fault of AFSCME.
No, no, no one is ever framed or otherwise targeted by annoyed people in higher authority. See: Sarah Palin, Troopergate.
Hopper? I barely know 'er!
Thank you, I'll be here all week.
Tissue? I hardly know you!
Rectum? It damn near killed him!
It's a little too late to be wishing for support from the Lobbyist Bangers and Drunk Drivers Local #201.
How does this affect George W. Bush?
Did you ever see GeeDub drunk on his @ss at the Olympics? http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=bush+drunk+at…
What a buffoon! That dude's got a lot of class – but it's all third!
Yeah, it's just too bad he wasn't arrested for stealing elections, conducting wars of choice under false pretenses, authorizing torture and illegally using the Office of the Presidency for personal gain while drunk. But those crimes are far too huge to prosecute and we all must Move On.
The sad thing is, it actually worked! Yeesh.
It'll be OK – Randy has sworn he'll spend the rest of his life finding the real drunk driver.
Oh Sweet Editrix, didn't Ken tell you that every post about this douche must include this graphic:
http://wonkette.com/454884/recalled-gop-wi-state-…
Ahh…the union of a dick and his vodka=sexytime drunk loser.
The modern crop of manhood makes me puke. Crying works with women and kids only, everybody else needs to just man-the-fuck-up.
Now he tells me.
Sadly, the jury found him "not guilty."
Guess they fell for it.
Shit!
Those aren't Men.
R. Lee Ermey, is that you?
Hardly, he made a lot more rank than I ever did. I never made higher than Buck Sergeant in the Army or the Corps.
Hopper claims he was "railroaded by the union." He still must be highly intoxicated to launch that defense. I thought everyone knew the railroads were built by the Chinese and a blah–John Henry.
He was profiled!!1!
It was a setup by local 1848.
The last bar fight I was in was with a guy that was definitely out to get me. It was back in the late 70s and we and been giving each other all manor of verbal and visual insubordination. But it wasn't until I took the Otis Redding 45 off the turntable that he had played 12 times in a row and broke it in half and put it in shirt pocket that things got out of hand.
Hah! Even *I* recognize a Tom Waits ripoff when I see/hear one.
This explains why the Wisconsin legislature has been so staunchly opposed to high-speed rail.
I will be hitting the drinks at Schreiner's en route to my college reunion weekend, that's for sure. Ten year reunion. & sure I ain't done shit, but I did make six weeks with a torn aortic aneurysm, summer '10.
In other words, Ripon College '02, I am the fucking Highlander.
my daughter is graduating from Ripon this spring.
love that town and school
Ripon! *clap, clap* Rip off! *clap, clap* Ripon, Rip off, THE RIPPER!!!
So, you've had the cookies?
Hopper said. “We’re going to picket your kids’ schools, we’re going to tear apart your reputation, we’re going to have you recalled.”
Moving in with the lobbyist they were boning on the side totally had nothing to do with his reputation declining of course.
Personal responsibility!
Totally OT but this person is so sick and vile , it truly shocked me.
https://twitter.com/#!/RiverRoads
GAAAAAAAHHH!
Oh well, it's not like I want them to start censoring Twitter or anything. It is such a wonderful addition to our communications capabilities. I often wonder why I don't have an account.
Honey, his mulatto ass is going back to Kenya..one way or another, trust me. Enjoy ur freebies while the poverty pimp remains
Oh, she's a charmer. Good god.
Mental illness on full display.
And she has almost 3,000 followers, that's the really scary part. Needs medication.
This smarmy cow should remember: karma is a bitch!
(And by smarmy cow, I mean dozy cunt.)
Poor Karen Finney who seems to be bearing the brunt of her tweets.
I have said it before but I will say it again anonymity has its down sides. We all should to live by the axiom that any thing we say or write swaddled in the cloak of invisibility we should be willing to say with attribution. To that end I would be more than wiling to call this women a piece of shit to her face and hand her my business card.
Just when I thought that Pam Geller was America's most vile person.
Oh…So this is where the saying, "Crying in ones beer", comes from…
The Tavern League of Wisconsin is a mighty powerful group.
There are people in Wisconsin with 5 and 6 OWI'S.and not in jail.
iTS clear Hopper is the victim here.
Next, Randy Hopper contests child custody or (A GOP First, no?) child support on the grounds that his ex-wife signed the recall petition, post-facto to the divorce.
Ya know what, Randy? the bottom line is that you got nailed Driving while Drunk. Deal with it. Quit crying, denying you're Guilty and pointing at everybody but the asshole in the mirror.
Let's assume, for the sake of argument, that the Evil Corrupt Unionized Thug Cops really were out to get you. It's a bit of a stretch, but anyway…
You were irresponsible and gave these guys the perfect excuse to bust your balls and will they ever. There's such a thing as leaning into a punch. You could have avoided it.
No one should have any sympathy for you. At all.
That's not even getting into the mayhem and carnage on the innocents you could have brought on the world had anything gone wrong. You deserve to be sent uptown just for that.
In the Real World, with activists who are really under surveillance by the Secret Police, said activists keep very carefully clean because they just can't afford such nonsense. They still get "disappeared" but,unlike you, they never come back.
So, just shut up, make an effort to be a Man and Stop your Sobbing.
Man, I am sick of these people.
Maybe a drink would make him feel better.
Oh, wait…sorry.
We all get teh 'blame the unions' dodge here…and we're pretty fucking sick of it. There is a recorded BAC on Ass Hopper and that's the end of that.
No Hopper, you got it all wrong. See if "Union Thugs" were involved, you would have been tarred and feathered before being run out on a rail. It's subtle, but I'm guessing even your GOP brain will understand.
Whining fucker.
Speaking drunk-driving, GOP (family values) state legislators, google MI state rep. "Bob Genetski."
When you're drunk after your governor's State of the State speech, you've got a problem, Bob.
In other related news, it was found that Randy Hopper has been using the alias Haywould Jablowme.
So what I'm hearing is that railroaded is the new skullfucked.
So, Hopper, you tink dem boys was union tugs. Dem boys ain't union tugs, Hopper. Dese boys over hyah are the tugs and dey don't know shit about recalls and shit, but dey do know how to beat de crap outta a beached flounder. Say 'allo to my little friends. Cryin' for you momma ain't gonna help.
So he DID come out at one time!
So he was always gelatin silver!
I don't know which is cuter, the photo or your comment.
Awww.
Your FLOTUS comment is getting me all hot and bothered.
Rachel Maddow in the stuido with The Communist Manifesto.
Soros in the government with a bag of Sacajaweas.
Bill Clinton in the Oval Office with a cigar.
I was going to say “cucumber” but I thought it would be too much.
I'd Marx her Engels.
Good call.
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