it's a frame-up!

Recalled Wisconsin State Senator Sobs During DUI Case: I Was Railroaded By Union Thugs!

Randy HopperSome Wisconsin GOP state Senate dude got recalled for being a dick and also banging some lobbyist chick who wasn’t his wife, and then later he got a DUI and got arrested and now he is on trial. But was it a frame-up? IT WAS A FRAME-UP, he and his lawyers now say. Because of how all the Wisconsin public sector workers vowed to ruin his life! Also? Randy Hopper totally cried in court, like Darrell Issa, a known crybaby, who cries.

So how did those Union Thugz set out to “get” Randy Hopper, and did they succeed? (Of course they did. They are all-powerful. They are legion. They are THE BORG.) Take it away, TPM:

“The day everything broke loose in Madison, I had members of the union in my office who said, ‘If you don’t support us, we are going to destroy your life,’” [Randy] Hopper said. “We’re going to picket your kids’ schools, we’re going to tear apart your reputation, we’re going to have you recalled.”

Also, according to the Fond du Lac Reporter, Hopper and Melowski targeted the arresting officer, Deputy Nick Venne, for having earlier in the year signed one of the petitions to recall Hopper, and also for having not administered a full blood test to Hopper at the police station.

For his own part, Venne confirmed that he signed the petition, but said this played no role in the arrest — that Hopper smelled of alcohol, and gave other suspicious signs in a field sobriety test.

Good to know there’s still some fine people — like Randy Hopper — who take personal responsibility for their actions. Stand firm, Randy Hopper! Just because you are paranoid (and a little bit drunk?) doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.

[Appleton Post Crescent, via TPM]

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    1. Nothingisamiss

      Dear Penthouse,

      I never thought this would happen to me, but I was just sitting there, eating a salad….

    2. Boojum_Reborn

      I know exactly how he feels. I've been stuck at 99p forever.

      It must be the p-unions.

    3. BerkeleyBear

      Yeah but lots of terrible Alice Waters (Chez Panisse freak and really bad public speaker) stories have. She wasted 20 minutes of my (and another couple thousand people who were at Mills College's graduation ceremonies) life talking about Bill Clinton eating an apple. In 90 degree heat. While half the audience was starving waiting for after grad brunch. And even more were hung over from pre grad binge drinking.

  1. nounverb911

    I've been working on the railroading,
    all the live-long day.
    I've been working on the railroading,
    just to put this guy away.

  2. SorosBot

    It's all a conspiracy; that cop forced him to drink a fifth of vodka then get behind the wheel!

  3. GreatChristiano

    So if it's proved to be a "frame-up," that means he didn't do it, right?

    (Nice use of polyptoton with cried/ crybaby/ cries)…

  4. dadanarchist

    If these union thugs are really so all-powerful, you'd think we'd have a higher unionization rate than 11%.

    1. Negropolis

      I can't tell you how many times I tell people this when they bring up the "big, bad unions." The unions have been big and bad since the 50's, and even then, their peak rate was 35%. Corporations own this country, and always have. When they draw the false equivalency between the power of corporations and the power of unions I just want to scream. Here in my homestate of Michigan — a state often regarded as a union power house — the unionization rate is only a little over 18%.

  5. Schmannnity

    Was the "lobbyist chick" a union organizer or a union agitator or a union goon (just to keep with the narrative)?

  6. CivicHoliday

    So if unions have control over the police…does that mean unions are to blame for Zimmerman not being arrested for murder?

        1. wondering where i am

          Or a wingnut version of Clue: It was the union thug in the bathroom with the copy of Saul Alinsky.

          1. Jukesgrrl

            I thought it was Bill Ayres in the conservatory with a Molotov cocktail.

            Or Rev. Wright in the library with a Koran.

            Or Michelle Obama in the kitchen with an over-sized butternut squash.

            Or The Gheyz in the ballroom with their Agenda.

          2. Negropolis

            Rachel Maddow in the stuido with The Communist Manifesto.

            Soros in the government with a bag of Sacajaweas.

  7. el_donaldo

    Look, if this guy spent the rest of his life terrified that union thugs were about to do a pay-back on his ass, I'd consider that a karmically appropriate outcome.

  8. SpeedoFart

    Good jorb Randy! Just piss off those (unionized) cops even more!

    I'm totes sure that's going to work in your favor!

  9. flamingpdog

    Randy Hopper totally cried in court, like Darrell Issa, a known crybaby, who cries.

    Are there any statistics on tear-duct implants in Republiklan politicians?

    1. Isyaignert

      I clicked on the link for Darryll Issa and saw "Elijah Cummings" – what a great porn star name! Hahaha!

  10. privatejoker77

    He just wanted to be able to bang a chick and drive drunk just like everyone else can!

    1. dadanarchist

      Rush Limbaugh after a couple of vials of intravenous Mexican El Viagra and a trip to a Dominican orphanage?

  11. horsedreamer_1

    Old Senator Hopper
    Never a flip-flopper
    But he left his wife, for Valerie Cass
    Who unlike wife was willing to allow entry in the ass
    & for this, he faces the bias of a copper

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        Take home message: never take a roadside breathalyzer test, unless you know you're stone cold sober.

      1. Sharkey

        They could just give Valerie Cass an STD. After being recalled and going through a messy divorce, it would be the icing on the "cake". He'll wish he'd gotten the DUI conviction instead.

        Probably won't happen but eh, a Shark can dream. Karma is a bitch, as they say.

    1. Callyson

      From TPM, the likely reason:
      Hopper explained that he refused to take a breathalyzer test at the county jail, because county employees had threatened him in the past. A preliminary test that jail staffers were able to take showed a blood alcohol content of 0.13%, above the 0.08% limit, but this is not admissible as evidence in the trial.
      Also–that photo of Hopper in the TPM story? Why, no, Hopper is not stoned at all!

    2. GlowneyHouse

      Judge cited something called the "IOKIYAR." Must of passed when the Democrats fled the state last year.

    3. Jukesgrrl

      If he were tried in Arizona the jury would be offering him reparations, running him for higher office, and recommending that he carry a firearm on his person for quick use when he's too drunk to get his revolver out of the glove compartment.

    1. Come here a minute

      Randy Hopper, it's only a short trip from there to, "You put me out in Denver 'cause my union wouldn't suck your dick".

  12. MarcelleMarceau

    Makes one sit up and take notice now that a petition has been cross-referenced by defense lawyers. What next?

    1. Jukesgrrl

      That's not the first case I've heard of someone being outed and criticized for signing a recall petition. So typical of Republicans. They're probably trying to figure out retribution for everyone who signed.

  13. SayItWithWookies

    Melowski also questioned Tim and Tammy Hicken — the husband and wife who along with their daughter first phoned the police about an erratic driver — about their having signed and circulated petitions to recall Gov. Scott Walker. Tim Hicken is a member of the union at the Fond du Lac County Highway Department.

    Genius — the conspiracy extended to bystanders who had no idea who Mr. Hopper was, but reported him as a menace to highway traffic because they probably wouldn't have liked him in the first place. It speaks to the power of unions in Wisconsin that if they only had a time machine, ESP and powerful facial-recognition software that could look inside of moving vehicles, they could have pulled this off.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      So if 100% of Wisconsin voters had signed the recall petition, Hopper would be free to break any and all laws in the state, because it's always going to be a conspiracy? Makes sense to me.

  14. JustPixelz

    This reminds me of the time the Democrats tricked the Repubicans into passing vaginal probe laws.

    1. MadBrahms

      Or when the liberals brought Rush down to their level and made him say terrible misogynistic things.

      1. Negropolis

        Or how when Bill Clinton corrupted the bright-eyed Speaker of the House by having sex with that intern.

  15. Trannysurprise

    Randy – your excuse is FAIL.

    Try this:

    I was just sitting at home playing Bible Pictionary with my wife and non-aborted kids when ACORN thugz and Jeremiah Wright came in demanding that I chug a gallon of Hennessy and some purple drank, etc.etc. Then drunk, etc. Barry, Holder, set-up, Hawaii, Fast/Furious/bailouts, whatever – FRAMED.

    1. PsycWench

      No, no, no one is ever framed or otherwise targeted by annoyed people in higher authority. See: Sarah Palin, Troopergate.

  16. OneYieldRegular

    It's a little too late to be wishing for support from the Lobbyist Bangers and Drunk Drivers Local #201.

    1. C_R_Eature

      Yeah, it's just too bad he wasn't arrested for stealing elections, conducting wars of choice under false pretenses, authorizing torture and illegally using the Office of the Presidency for personal gain while drunk. But those crimes are far too huge to prosecute and we all must Move On.

  17. ttommyunger

    The modern crop of manhood makes me puke. Crying works with women and kids only, everybody else needs to just man-the-fuck-up.

      1. ttommyunger

        Hardly, he made a lot more rank than I ever did. I never made higher than Buck Sergeant in the Army or the Corps.

  18. coolhandnuke

    Hopper claims he was "railroaded by the union." He still must be highly intoxicated to launch that defense. I thought everyone knew the railroads were built by the Chinese and a blah–John Henry.

  19. Goonemeritus

    The last bar fight I was in was with a guy that was definitely out to get me. It was back in the late 70s and we and been giving each other all manor of verbal and visual insubordination. But it wasn't until I took the Otis Redding 45 off the turntable that he had played 12 times in a row and broke it in half and put it in shirt pocket that things got out of hand.

  20. MadBrahms

    This explains why the Wisconsin legislature has been so staunchly opposed to high-speed rail.

  21. horsedreamer_1

    I will be hitting the drinks at Schreiner's en route to my college reunion weekend, that's for sure. Ten year reunion. & sure I ain't done shit, but I did make six weeks with a torn aortic aneurysm, summer '10.

    In other words, Ripon College '02, I am the fucking Highlander.

  22. glamourdammerung

    Hopper said. “We’re going to picket your kids’ schools, we’re going to tear apart your reputation, we’re going to have you recalled.”

    Moving in with the lobbyist they were boning on the side totally had nothing to do with his reputation declining of course.

    Personal responsibility!

    1. Sharkey


      Oh well, it's not like I want them to start censoring Twitter or anything. It is such a wonderful addition to our communications capabilities. I often wonder why I don't have an account.

    2. Fukui-sanYesOta

      Honey, his mulatto ass is going back to way or another, trust me. Enjoy ur freebies while the poverty pimp remains

      Oh, she's a charmer. Good god.

    3. Goonemeritus

      I have said it before but I will say it again anonymity has its down sides. We all should to live by the axiom that any thing we say or write swaddled in the cloak of invisibility we should be willing to say with attribution. To that end I would be more than wiling to call this women a piece of shit to her face and hand her my business card.

  23. rocktonsam

    The Tavern League of Wisconsin is a mighty powerful group.
    There are people in Wisconsin with 5 and 6 OWI'S.and not in jail.
    iTS clear Hopper is the victim here.

  24. MilwaukeeKent

    Next, Randy Hopper contests child custody or (A GOP First, no?) child support on the grounds that his ex-wife signed the recall petition, post-facto to the divorce.

  25. C_R_Eature

    Ya know what, Randy? the bottom line is that you got nailed Driving while Drunk. Deal with it. Quit crying, denying you're Guilty and pointing at everybody but the asshole in the mirror.

    Let's assume, for the sake of argument, that the Evil Corrupt Unionized Thug Cops really were out to get you. It's a bit of a stretch, but anyway…
    You were irresponsible and gave these guys the perfect excuse to bust your balls and will they ever. There's such a thing as leaning into a punch. You could have avoided it.
    No one should have any sympathy for you. At all.

    That's not even getting into the mayhem and carnage on the innocents you could have brought on the world had anything gone wrong. You deserve to be sent uptown just for that.

    In the Real World, with activists who are really under surveillance by the Secret Police, said activists keep very carefully clean because they just can't afford such nonsense. They still get "disappeared" but,unlike you, they never come back.

    So, just shut up, make an effort to be a Man and Stop your Sobbing.

    Man, I am sick of these people.

  26. WiscDad

    We all get teh 'blame the unions' dodge here…and we're pretty fucking sick of it. There is a recorded BAC on Ass Hopper and that's the end of that.

  27. Dashboard Buddha

    No Hopper, you got it all wrong. See if "Union Thugs" were involved, you would have been tarred and feathered before being run out on a rail. It's subtle, but I'm guessing even your GOP brain will understand.

    Whining fucker.

  28. Negropolis

    Speaking drunk-driving, GOP (family values) state legislators, google MI state rep. "Bob Genetski."

    When you're drunk after your governor's State of the State speech, you've got a problem, Bob.

  29. wolvenwood13

    In other related news, it was found that Randy Hopper has been using the alias Haywould Jablowme.

  30. owhatever

    So, Hopper, you tink dem boys was union tugs. Dem boys ain't union tugs, Hopper. Dese boys over hyah are the tugs and dey don't know shit about recalls and shit, but dey do know how to beat de crap outta a beached flounder. Say 'allo to my little friends. Cryin' for you momma ain't gonna help.

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