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Geraldo Rivera: Trayvon Martin’s Hoodie ‘Is Responsible’ For His Death

MOSH!

Geraldo Rivera, the Fox News fool who bops around America pretending he is “out in the field” delving into stories that no one else does (in quite such a spectacularly ignorant way), has decided that there is a very good explanation for why Trayvon Martin was shot by a bored and racist man on a power trip: HIS SWEATSHIRT. HIS SWEATSHIRT WITH THE HOOD. In fact, any young person in America wearing a hoodie should be prepared that he may, at any time, be shot to death, according to Geraldo, because what are you hiding under there? A weapon? The weapon that is your face? The thoughts inside your shrouded brain?

Please, gather ’round for this important theory.

I am urging the parents of black and Latino youngsters particularly to not let their children go out wearing hoodies. I think the hoodie is as much responsible for Trayvon Martin’s death as George Zimmerman was.

Here is the video:

Yes, why aren’t more inanimate objects blamed for things? Indeed, maybe Zimmerman’s gun shot itself! After all, knives fly out of people’s hands and into other people’s chests all the time.

Just to bring “more” legitimacy to his claim, Geraldo brought his son into the mix. So presumably people want to murder Geraldo’s son, too, and Geraldo is just saying, deal with that, son. Die. Or you could also just take the hoodie off.

When you see a kid walking down the street, particularly a dark skinned kid like my son Cruz who I constantly yelled at when he was going out wearing a damn hoodie or those pants around his ankles. Take that hood off. People look at you and what’s the instant identification? What’s the instant association? Its crime scene surveillance tapes. Every time you see someone stick up a 7-Eleven, the kid is wearing a hoodie. Every time you see a mugging on a surveillance camera or get the old lady in the alcove, it’s the kid with a hoodie. You have to recognize that this whole stylizing yourself as a gangsta — you’re going to be a gangsta wannabe? Well, people are going to perceive you as a menace. That’s what happens. It is an instant reflexive action.

Ah, “instant reflexive actions.” Because those are great, and should never not happen. But Geraldo, whatever happened to, Innocent until proven guilty … of an actual crime that hasn’t happened yet? And never will, shucks, because Trayvon is dead. [Washington Post]

About the author

Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

View all articles by Liz Colville

Comments

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  • Barb

    Geraldo, the 70's called and they want their mustache back.

    • el_donaldo

      Specifically, Harold Reems called. He'd like the mustache cleaned and sanitized before getting it back too.

    • Callyson

      The 70's should reconsider that request–they don't know where that mustache has been.

      • Barb

        Where that mustache has been? All over Roger Ailes' ass is where. Dude has a crack bigger than the Liberty Bell and Geraldo tickles his starfish with his mustache and makes him giggle like a schoolgirl.

        • RadioStalingrad

          Haha, I just Chuck Norris'd this from Lascauxcaveman on a previous thread.

          • beavertank

            You just terrible right wing columned that in the complete absence of logic or facts? I think I must be working on an outdated definition of what it means to Chuck Norris something.

            …unless it's sexual? In which case, eww.

          • sullivanst

            I'm guessing it involves paste…

          • C_R_Eature

            Isn't that site fun?

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      Every time you see a skinhead punch a TV talk show moron in the nose, the TV moron is wearing a pornstache. That’s what happens. It is an instant reflexive action.

    • spareme

      Ya know, they really should of let him have the Gong show, instead of letting him be a reporter.

    • nirrti_rachelle

      Apparently, Geraldo has an unlisted number…because the 80s couldn't get their hairstyle back either.

    • iburl

      And their poppers

  • soeoho

    I thought Gerald Riviera was locked back into Al Capone's vault? or was that a ….dream

  • el_donaldo

    I'm going out tonight, so I could use a few points for avoiding trouble. So no hoody. What if I'm dressed like the old dudes at the orgy in Eyes Wide Shut? Would that be a less threatening hoody style?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Oh man! He had it coming! Did you see how short that hood was????

    • RadioStalingrad

      That……movie………….was………..criminal.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Oh, in answer to your question, make sure you wear an onion on your belt.

  • ChernobylSoup

    Joke's on him. There's nothing inside the hoodie.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Are you kidding?

      There are hoodies with lasers under them….FRIKKIN' LASERS, man! Frikkin' hoodies with frikkin' lasers!

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Dementor libel!!!1!

  • pickletickle

    Geraldo then announced that he will be embedded with a group of hoodie wearers and give reports from the front line in the hoodie war.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Why can't we have a good booty war? That's a war I'd choose sides in.

    • flamingpdog

      Is he drawing the location of the nearest Wal Mart with a stick in the sand?

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      Begun this hoodie war has.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Clancy_Pants

    Cruz control: "…my son Cruz who I constantly yelled at when he was going out wearing a damn hoodie or those pants around his ankles"

  • gullywompr

    The kid obviously committed Suicide By Hoodie.

  • MissTaken

    I was going to wear a skirt today but remembered that would make people perceive me as whore and rape me. That's what happens. It is an instant reflexive action.

    • Barb

      Do you want to carpool to the Abortionplex? I can't afford the tanning bed this week and I could really use some Betadine for that sun-kissed glow.

      • MissTaken

        Sweet! And with our fetuses, before they are aborted, we'll qualify for the HOV lane on the way to the Abortionplex. Yay!

        • Barb

          If we get raped on our way just remember that we are supposed to "lay back and enjoy it" I hear if we mention Clayton Williams we get free Orange Julius at the food court.

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            And be grateful for any babies conceived!

      • http://www.wonkette.com Clancy_Pants

        It's Friday, free transvaginal ultrasounds!

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Soy sauce works in a pinch, Barb and you can get it for free at the Abortionplex in the food court.

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      I was going to wear a skirt today too. But Mrs SL_UT threw me out of her closet.(again)

      • Bonzos_Bed_Time

        That you Marcus?

    • SorosBot

      Those poor innocent men, being forced to rape because of those short shirts. Or those pants which reveal the shape of your ass and legs. Or keeping that sexy tempting hair uncovered. Really wearing anything other than a burkha is just asking for it.

      • Fare la Volpe

        Only sultry eyeball-adorning hussies wear burkahs. Truly modest women wear burlap sacks with an opening at the bottom for their husbands to continue the family line.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          The women near you must be sluts, because ours wear chastity belts under the sack

        • MissTaken

          Haha! When I was in Egypt the women who wore Niqabs with just the eyes visible wore the most incredibly beautiful eye makeup imaginable. Proof that us ladies will make whatever we got work.

          I make my burlap sack hawt!

          • Barb

            I'd never make a very good Amish woman. I'd be entering wet bonnet contests and trying to whoop it up.

          • Barb

            Not to self, buy and wear underpants. Burlap is itchy.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

            Commando Barb?

          • Barb

            Absolutely Chet!

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

            TMI Friday!

          • Barb

            And you are the one who asked for the information.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

            I mentioned it only to encourage others to share! Briefs here!

          • Barb

            I'm telling ya, if you were here you'd be outside in the 86 degree weather. Man, I wish I had something to BBQ.

        • Negropolis

          I find this be-burlapped woman incredibly difficult to masturbate to.

    • Boojum_Reborn

      Yes, yes, exactly, because of male hormones, and genetics, and penis science. But, you also can't be in the military, because men would want to protect you. And working, well, who will think of the children?

      So, the best thing would just be burqas all around!

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      This is why I only wear garbage bags and the underwear I find on the side of the highway.

    • Toomush_Infer

      burkahs, hoodies…..it's all the same…..slutthugs…

      • MissTaken

        I read that as slut hugs!

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Yay!

  • Callyson

    Every time you see someone stick up a 7-Eleven, the kid is wearing clothing. Every time you see a mugging on a surveillance camera or get the old lady in the alcove, it’s the kid with clothing. So, if you don't want to get shot, you better not take any chances wearing clothing.
    Seriously–capital WTF? Jesus, it's still morning here and I already want a drink or ten…

  • OzoneTom

    Actually stupid people make me feel threatened.

    • OneYieldRegular

      No f-ing kidding. If I had kids, I wouldn't let them anywhere near Geraldo Rivera.

    • http://www.toastcat.com Fred_Wertham_Jr

      You must live in a state of constant terror.

  • OneDollarJuana

    Someday they will say that Geraldo's mouth was the cause of his death.

    • Boojum_Reborn

      Someday, they will be right.

  • ShiftyParadigm

    And ladies — it's bare legs from now on!
    http://www.wxyz.com/dpp/news/the-so-called-pantyh

    • James Michael Curley

      pressed ham?
      stuffed sausage?

      • PuckStopsHere

        And….the money quote:
        The chief said, “if he rubbed up against somebody, we could be looking at criminal sexual conduct.”

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    Hoodies don't kill people. Assholes with delusions of being cops kill people.

    • Elmerobinson

      Yes. And assholes with delusions of being cops especially like to kill people with hoodies…..bonus points if their pants are hanging low.

  • facehead

    " I think the hoodie is as much responsible for Trayvon Martin’s death as George Zimmerman was."

    Yeah, and yarmulkes caused the Holocaust.

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      I move we close down comments on this thread at this time. Nothing more need be said.

  • freakishlywrong

    I"m wearing a hoodie right now, idiot.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Prevert!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Yes, and your presence here proves you're up to no good!!

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      BANG!!!

    • Inchhigh

      There were two lily white 6 year olds wearing hoodies today in art class. I decided to just taser them.

  • boobookitteh

    When you see a kid walking down the street, particularly a dark skinned kid … what’s the instant identification? What’s the instant association? Its crime…

    Might as well just get rid of all those other words and get to the heart of the issue.

    • gullywompr

      If you people weren't so dark-skinned, this never would have had to happen.

      • boobookitteh

        Really parents should be telling their kids to not be so dark skinned.

        • Biff

          That advice did Michael Jackson no good at all!

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            The saying is you can never be too rich or too thin, but it says nothing about being too white.

  • missemish

    Also short skirts get women raped, pink shirts get effeminate men beaten to death. Remember folks, it's never, never the crazy white guy's fault. He was provoked.

    • gullywompr

      Sluts, blahs, illegals, they are their own worst enemies.

      • missemish

        if only they weren't so slutty and so brown. They should know better!

    • SorosBot

      But this guy was part Latino, so he couldn't be racist!

      Really, that's what some of the wingnuts are saying (check out the comments at the Daily Caller article linked below for examples). Just ignore the "fucking coon" on the 911 call and all the other actual evidence.

      • Fare la Volpe

        And ignoring the fact that his mother is White Hispanic.

        • horsedreamer_1

          Anti-Castro Cuban?

          • miss_grundy

            Actually his mom is Peruvian and she looks indigenous to me.

      • sullivanst

        I was going to go check out the comments at the Daily Callgirl article, but then I realized I'd rather stab myself repeatedly in the eyes with a pen.

        • Fare la Volpe

          In that case don't go on HuffPo either. The trolls are out in full force today.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        They are so stupid that they think "racist" can only be applied to white people.

        • Gleem McShineys

          You coloreds are stealing our racism! KEEP RACISM PURE

  • x111e7thst

    So remember kidz when you are going to burn a cross on someones lawn ask your mommy for a sheet to wear, no hoodies!

  • barto

    Well, his latino sounding name does automagically qualify him as expert on this stuff, duh. Also interesting that his son is so much like his father, you know, with his pants down around his ankles all the time.

  • Callyson

    “You cannot rehabilitate the hoodie. I understand that the reaction might be overzealous or even irrational in some extent, I mean, when you look at the statistics,” Rivera said. “But you’re not going to rehabilitate the hoodie. Stop wearing it! You know the old Johnny Cash song, ‘Don’t take your gun to town, son. Leave your gun at home.’ There are some things that are almost inevitable. I’m not suggesting Trayvon Martin had any kind of weapon or anything, but he wore an outfit that allowed someone to respond in this irrational, overzealous way and if he had been dressed more appropriately, I think unless it’s raining out or you’re at a track meet, leave the hoody home.”
    Hoodies, guns, same thing…
    Oh, and this "dressed more appropriately" bit? JFC, I hope this asshole Geraldo never ends up on a jury for a rape case…or any other jury for that matter.

    • bikerlaureate

      …an outfit that allowed someone to respond in this irrational, overzealous way ?

      Holy crap. Maybe we do get the media we deserve.

    • Fare la Volpe

      I hope he's never allowed out in public. He has tattoos, after all. Someone might react in an irrational, overzealous way if they see them.

      • C_R_Eature

        He'd better watch where he takes that punchable mustache-face, too

        • Ruhe

          Eminently punchable, ergo his media career.

    • Swampgas_Man

      The only outfit that wouldn't allow someone to respond in this "ovezealous" way?
      A bulletproof burqua.

    • DeathofKoalas

      Or maybe, you know, the other dude should have not taken his ACTUAL mf'ing GUN to town. Like what the song says. Or just stick to using 'gun' as a convoluted metaphor for 'hoodie', whatever.

    • LemonySnicket

      It WAS raining, Geraldope. And you can’t use “hoodie” as a metaphor for gun in a situation where the unarmed guy in a hoodie was shot by a lunatic carrying a REAL, ACTUAL GUN.

      The stupid burns.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Even worse than "The Black Panthers told him to do it" horseshit to depict Obama as a tool,
    Geraldo has actually transcended MattBoyle's repugnant blame gaming by asserting that "The Hoodie made him do it" to clear Zimmerman as guileless.

    The only twist in this "Race to the bottom" is, there is no 'bottom.' If it were a reality show it'd be aptly named "Trail of Turds."

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    Well I'm fucked. I just paid 60 bucks for a Mastadon hoodie that I wear daily. Guess I better go buy me a sweater vest instead.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      They can have my Volbeat hoodie when they pry it from my cold, dead neck.

    • SpeedoFart

      I've been wearing my Mass Effect N7 hoodie for weeks on end now.

      I guess it's a good thing I never leave my house.

  • C_R_Eature

    Right, Geraldo. It's the Hoodie that's the problem, not the 300+ years of racial history we have in this country.

    Honestly, I don't know how he dresses himself in the morning.

    EDIT: Oh, and I'm wearing a Hoodie right now. Yougoddaproblemwiddat?

    • flamingpdog

      I'm wearing a hoodie and drinking a bottle of malt liquor in my cubicle at work!

      OK, the part about the bottle of malt liquor isn' true, but … the boss is out of the office today!

      • C_R_Eature

        Woohoo Party! I was going to call you a Snob about the Malt Liquor because we have to make do with Mad Dog 'round these parts, but I see you're Dry today. That's a shame!

        We're all going out with our Hoodies on and break into old white folks homes to steal their prescription drugs. Wanna come?

    • Jimmyone

      I own more hoodies than shirts, does that make me a young.. blah ..criminal? Or just a person who likes hoodies?

      • C_R_Eature

        Hoodie = Criminal now. Apparently.

        Any questions?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Right now I'm picturing Geraldo and Rush Limbaugh on a little desert island together, sipping Two If By Tea and wondering why the liberal media attack dogs made them look so stupid. They barely have time to notice the meteor…

    • C_R_Eature

      Right now I'm picturing Geraldo and Rush Limbaugh on a little desert island together…

      Surrounded by Giant Radioactive Crabs.

      There. FIFY.

  • Schmannnity

    I like Geraldo's ideas on Cruz control.

  • ph7

    Geraldo, in a hoodie. #thuglife

    • sullivanst

      If only Dinoshark were real…

    • freakishlywrong

      Cant make this shit up, yo.

    • Gleem McShineys

      I need a new monitor now, because after I looked at that picture, I shot mine.

      SUCH REACTIONS CAN'T BE HELPED

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        The monitor was asking for it.

  • edgydrifter

    Goddamned Hoodie Ninjas

  • SorosBot

    I'm trying to snark, but the right-wing's reflexive need to blame the victim here is just making me sick. Fuck, what is wrong with them?

    • MissTaken

      Stupidity?
      Narcissism?
      Sexual Repression?
      Racism?
      Undue Sense of Entitlement?

      Take your pick.

      • C_R_Eature

        "Assholes" fits the bill, for me.

      • SorosBot

        All of the above?

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        Inferiority Complex?

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Don't forget sociopathy.

    • gullywompr

      It's their entire essence, SorosBot. Wingers convince themselves daily that all of their failures are caused by lower persons, i.e. The American Dream is ruined by minorities (and now women also too), and therefore never the winger's fault.

      • SorosBot

        And we're all supposed to pretend that racism no longer exists, so even when a crazed wanna-be cop kills a teenager for walking while black it still can't possibly be because of race.

        • Barb

          Romney just issued a statement about this and called it "tragic" Things will get magically better now.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Way to get out in front of an issue, Mitt…

          • James Michael Curley

            Was he wearing his hooded magic underwear?

          • Ruhe

            If he means "tragic" in the classical sense in that this incident will draw pundits and politicians helplessly toward their doom as they can't resist the urge to say something really pompous and stupid about it…then I agree.

        • GOPCrusher

          Further proof that racism still exists, you just pointed it out. Racist.

    • Boojum_Reborn

      It's your fault.

    • flamingpdog

      Let's see – racism, ignorance and stupidity, paranoia, other mental illness, sociopathy, faux Christianity, being raised from little fetuses in Dumbfuckistan. Maybe somebody else can help out.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I blame the patriarchy.

    • JustPixelz

      "Blame the Victim"

      Isn't that the official name for that Florida law? Of course, if the victim lives it's a different story so it's legally advantageous for Florida shooters to use plenty of bullets. Big ones, if possible.

    • dadanarchist

      Fuck, what is wrong with them?

      How long do you got?

  • missemish

    I feel really sad that he's been teaching his sons that the color of their skin is inherently scary and they must always tread carefully. He's taught them their mere existence is threatening and inferior. It really makes me nearly cry.

  • Sue4466

    At least he's being consistent on the whole "victim had it coming" thing by applying the same "what was she wearing" logic to this kid's murder.

    It's disgusting in both cases. But yeah, points for consistency.

  • FakaktaSouth

    YEAH! Cause YOU KNOW who wears things with HOODS esp when it's RAINING like it was? Me. I do, because I straighten my fake blond hair. Christ. I am NOT wearing my hair curly. Geraldo will just have to try to shoot me, but this is Alabama so he better be QUICK – GERALDO RIVERA? What kinda name is that, brown guy? Puerto Rican? We are also a stand your ground state Gerry so you might just stay put.

    • samsuncle

      Don't you just love living in the warm humid south. It rained so much here that my salt shaker clogged up.

      • prommie

        Its damned bothersome, keeping the saltshakers on my yacht un-clogged.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Oh, I just sailed to a drier climate.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Do you have friends who own salt mines?

          • prommie

            I'm safe from all those Romney-gaffes, I have no friends at all! I wonder if its because I obnoxiously bring up my yacht for no reason all the time?

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        Put some rice in it.

        • GOPCrusher

          That's what my butler does.

    • prommie

      Look at you, dyeing and straightening your hair, working out and cleaning! A girly-girl, who is opnionated, funny and has a foul mouth, and is married to someone else, thats a description of my dream-girl!

    • miss_grundy

      Actually, he is a Newyorican, a New York Puerto Rican. He can't speak Spanish to save his life. I think he hates himself and it shows by the stupid stuff he says.

  • freakishlywrong

    Apparently, his son is embarrassed by him. We are too, Geraldo's son, we are too.

    • Exhausted66

      Today, we are all Cruz Rivera.

  • samsuncle

    What is Geraldo hiding under his mustache…remains of his breakfast, semial fluid, e coli, santorum? And the answer is ……….

    • el_donaldo

      all of them.

    • Boojum_Reborn

      ALL OF THEM, KATIE!!!!

    • flamingpdog

      From the looks of that moustache, he could be hiding Roger Ailes underneath there.

    • Gleem McShineys

      There's a fallacious argument under there, which is attached to an ambulatory penis, which is attached to a parade-float, which is shaped like a moustache.

  • SexySmurf

    Let's not forget he also had a can of ice tea. You know, ice tea, like the rapper who wanted to kill cops. Therefor if you drink ice tea people are going to perceive you as a cop killer.

    • flamingpdog

      And I bet it was mother-fucking iced tea, too, also.

    • Biff

      Didn't even Bill O'Reilly refer to it as motherfucking iced tea?

    • Fare la Volpe

      You don't even want to know what they think when you eat Vanilla Ice cream.

      • Boojum_Reborn

        Ice, Ice, Baby?

    • Guppy

      Not to be confused with the rapper who plays a cop on TV.

  • sullivanst

    "Guns don't kill people, hoodies kill people"

    • pinkocommi

      Correction, KKK members in hoods kill people.

  • joshleefolsom

    Guns don't kill people, hoodies kill people. (And so do monkeys if they have a gun.)

  • CrunchyKnee

    Wait a sec, Jerry Rivers is STRAIGHT???!!!???

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Was.

      Once.

      And only once.

    • JustPixelz

      you know, i get the reference.

  • DaRooster

    I really never could understand the pants thing…
    If you wanna act like a gangster, take a look at the old Italian mob guys… track suits!! At least then you can fucking run!! With the baggy pants you gotta hold them up when you run… so you can only take one arm full of shit…

    Just sayin'.

    • Fare la Volpe

      It's actually an effort to make your pants look heavy, as if to suggest you have weapons in your pockets weighing them down.

      Also shows that you're open to a little butt sex on the DL. Either one.

      • DaRooster

        I still often debate coming up behind them and jerking their pants down… daily.

    • Swampgas_Man

      I always thought it was related to having your belt and shoelaces removed when you go to prison.

  • larryfinexx

    Wouldn't it make more sense to tell dark skinned children not to go out at all? Just stay at home and watch TV and drink grape soda, and you'll stay out of trouble.

    • chicken_thief

      Betterz yet, can't we just ban "the coloredz" from having kids? I mean, other than the lady folk house servants having sex with their masters, they don't need to be having no sexy fun times, do they?

  • ph7

    The Ku Klux Klan has been wearing Hoodies for 145 years. Who knew we had the right to stand our ground and shoot them this whole time?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Why would you think that a hooded Klansman skulking around the neighborhood at night is up to no good?

  • elgin_pelican

    I guess Gepetto's son thought the quote was as stupid as the rest of us did. http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entries/ger

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    By that lojik, it's not the Iraqis who killed US America soldiers in Operation Iraq Liberation who are responsible for their deaths, but the douchebag who revealed their positions on Faux Newz while playing pretend war correspondent. Right Jerry?*

    *he was, but not for the silly argument I was trying to make… more along the lines of war supporter, shilling war propaganda to prop up the actual assholes who wanted the war in the first place.

  • CivicHoliday

    Every time I see a news story about some CEO ripping off the American public for millions of dollars and ruining thousands of peoples lives, he is always wearing a 3-piece suit. Therefore, I will henceforth start stabbing everyone I see wearing business attire. Your fault not mine, you suspicious looking brooks brothers wearing fuckers!

    • bikerlaureate

      It would be an instant reflexive action.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Um, Geraldo? You do realize that people stopped listening to you on or about April 1986, right?

    • RadioStalingrad

      Great pull, EQ. Two things funny about that idiocy. First, he was digging up dirt as that's all they found in the vault. And then, his autobiography is called Exposing Myself.
      What an ass musket.

      • ChessieNefercat

        Is an ass musket douchier than an asshat? I hope so, because it is becoming evident that "asshat" just is not strong enough for the stupid out there.

    • freakishlywrong

      Not on Fox, elviously, where everything old is old again.

    • bureaucrap

      If only, EQ. Being consistently wrong/mistaken/foolish/delusional is a resume-builder at FUXXED.

    • doloras

      There was nothing in Al Capone's vault, but it wasn't Geraldo's fault. (The B-Sharps)

  • spends2much

    Geraldo math:
    white lady+hoodie=going to yoga class
    dark skinned kid+hoodie=thug you can shoot on sight

    Whenever you wonder if some people can get even more loathesome, they always come through in the end.

    • Boojum_Reborn

      Oh, but white lady+hoodie=going to yoga class = willing to have sex in that alley. Advanced math.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Nothing says "I'm all yours, baby!" like a hoodie. That's why they're banned in Saudi Arabia and Yemen.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    ♪♫ Gerry Rivers is such a douche, doooo daaah, dooo daaah
    Makes up the stupid every day, oh dee doo dar dhey ♫♪

  • Beowoof

    Hey Jerry still stupid I see.

  • ElPinche

    Today we're all Ryan Gosling.

    • Fare la Volpe

      "Hey girl…"

  • el_donaldo

    As a compromise, maybe we could revive zoot suits.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      With the reet pleat, mijo!

  • SoBeach

    I have never, ever gotten shot while wearing my hoodie. Either I'm really lucky or I'm a middle aged white guy.

  • C_R_Eature

    You know, if it's now acceptable to cold shoot someone because what they're wearing frightens you, then all I can say is all those Illinois Nazi's had better fucking stay home.

    • Negropolis

      WIN

      I've been saying all day that this whole thing can go both ways. If states are just going to cold legalize and legitimize vigilantism, well, us potential victims have to defend ourselves, too…

  • Biff

    Anakin Skywalker wears a hoodie, doesn't he?

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      But so does Obi-Wan. Princess Leia too!

    • Gleem McShineys

      This is why Darth Vader wanted to kill them… but … Darth Vader is black?

      So he can't be racist. I am getting the hang of this wingnut-think!

  • Wilcoxyz

    Even if we could get all young black males to dress like Erkel, the Zimmermans of this world will still be carrying guns and 'afraid for their lives.'

    But by the same token, Geraldo, can a black person now fire on anyone in a klan robe and blame it on the scary hood? Obviously, the fear would be valid.

    • SorosBot

      Ahem; that's Urkel, with a U.

      • Wilcoxyz

        My bad. All vowels look alike to me.

    • Swampgas_Man

      If they wore suits and ties, racists would think they were Nation of Islam.

  • Neoyorquino

    Message?

    "Everyone! Begin changing yourself, in ways and manners both broad and seemingly insignificant. Someone else's delicate sensibilities are about to be offended by the mere fact of your existence, and for your own safety and protection, you need to do everything you can to make sure their fears and paranoia are not further aggravated."

    For a white guy, I've probably been giving off a cholo vibe with the shaved head and goatee. I should probably go clean-shaven on my face and grow out my hair. Now Geraldo, about how that porn-stache makes those around you feel . . . uncomfortable . . .

  • http://www.wonkette.com Chill-A-Sketch

    Where is that Neonazi kid who broke Geraldo's nose when you need him?

    • ElPinche

      Probably working with him on FoxNews.

  • Sassomatic

    "I think the hoodie is as much responsible for Trayvon Martin’s death as George Zimmerman was."

    Gun wielding racist maniacs don't kill people, hoodies kill people, by being worn by them. Of course. I have a solution: force hoodie manufacturers to print a warning on the. MAY CAUSE DEATH BY SHOOTING*

    *Probably only if you are black

  • bflrtsplk

    It was da hoodie dat shot me. Da hoodie I tell ya.

  • http://www.marionstein.net MarionNYNY

    I feel sad about what Rivera has become. Once upon a time he was reporter exposing injustices and even helping to organize benefit concerts pre- we are the world. Before that he was, no shit, an activist, lawyer. Or maybe he was just a cynical pandering opportunist all along.

    • elgin_pelican

      He spoke at my HS graduation. He was a consumer affairs reporter for WABC in New York. Used to be an actual human back in the day.

      • http://www.marionstein.net MarionNYNY

        Yeah, but then he exposed conditions at Willowbrook, and became a big name and there was a benefit to raise funds for 1:1 care for the developmentally delayed and now shit John Lennon, Yoko Ono, and Elton John among others were there at Madison Square Garden and I was IN high school and I was there or maybe I'm hallucinating the big crush I had on him when I was a tween. Jesus, couldn't have been the same guy, right?

    • bureaucrap

      He probably decided at some point that for a couple million a year , sounding like a babbling idiot and being willing to hold yourself up to the ridicule of the masses was worth it. And I have to say, if someone offered me a couple million a year to sound like a moron, I'd half consider babbling all the way to the bank.

  • RadioStalingrad

    If only Trayvon was armed, this hoodie controversy would never have surfaced.

  • flamingpdog

    I can't remember, when Geraldo was all over the Jon-Benet Ramsey murder case back in the day, did he blame it on her for wearing short skirts and lotsa eye-liner?

    • Biff

      I certainly blamed her parents for dressing her that way…

    • bikerlaureate

      Well, not her, but the eyeliner itself is the real culprit there.

  • SorosBot

    So wait, would someone be asking to be shot if they went outside in a three-piece tailored suit that costs thousands of dollars, because people would assume they're to buy up their company, destroy their jobs, make them lose their houses, and ultimately destroy the economy?

    • Biff

      See ya, Mittens!

    • CivicHoliday

      I beat you to it. But yes. The answer most definitely is yes.

    • Toomush_Infer

      um…and they would be right?….right?…

  • WiscDad

    The preponderance of hoodies could not be because they've been a teen fashion statement for TWENTY FUCKING YEARS!!!! Nope…only 20 million gangstas wear them. Like my 3 teen kids. Every time you see them in the alcove at church, they're wearing a hoodie. Every time you see them stick up for each other when they're in trouble, they're wearing a hoodie. Every time you see them head out to scouts or music lessons, they're wearing a hoodie. Give me a fucking break.

    • SorosBot

      Twenty? At least twenty-five; they were definitely big even when I was a preteen / early teen waaaaay back in the late 80s.

      • WiscDad

        OK…I'll conceded that cause I don't really remember the 80's. Last I remember I was graduating high school in '79 then I woke up married in '96.

  • MLite

    All those college kids running to class in their joe boxers and hoodies are incredibly threatening. It's amazing campuses haven't been shot up by vigilant neighbourhood watchmen!

    • WiscDad

      That would be 'vigilante'

      • MLite

        While the system might have broken down in this situation, I think it's unfair to call him a "vigilante." I think the words Fox is using is "overzealous but conscientious."

  • cheetojeebus

    dumb-ass

  • chicken_thief

    But Geraldo's mustache is still looking pretty good. He does have that…

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Geraldo + Hoodie + ramp = jumped shark

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Interestingly, FOX News doesn't sell a hoodie.

    They do sell Snugglies tho…

    • dadanarchist

      Snugglies are the lazy person's Klan robes.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        For those sometimes chilly Alabama winter nights…

        • dadanarchist

          Nothing more romantic than curling up in a snuggie around a burning cross.

  • SoBeach

    Last time I saw a "dark skinned" kid in a hoodie in my neighborhood he was selling tickets to a car wash fundraiser for his high school club. I'm pretty sure none of the neighbors were grabbing their guns and calling 911.

    • CivicHoliday

      Shit, my neighborhood GIRL SCOUT sold me cookies while wearing a hoodie this year. (It was a cold misty day so she even had it up over her head like a true gangsta)

  • Blueb4sunrise

    At least it wasn't Arab garb.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .or IS IT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • ttommyunger

    Geraldo, self-loathing half jew, half Puerto-Rican; complete idiot. His head is full of the same stuff as Al Capone's Vault.

  • Biff

    I recently started wearing hoodies. If history is to repeat itself, the hoodie fashion craze should end in 3,2,1…

  • elviouslyqueer

    Right, Geraldo. Because rich white people never buy or wear hoodies.

    • flamingpdog

      590 Ameros for a freakin' hoodie???
      "A modal/cotton blend makes this Maison Martin Margiela hoodie light and soft, but it's about more than just being comfortable. Wear it with the hood on for an intelligently casual look; play with its zip-on design for a standout style that's sure to turn heads."

      That certainly turned my head. So I could vomit in the trash can instead in my lap.

      • elviouslyqueer

        Yes, but for $590 you too can cop a standout gangsta 'tude complete with an insouciant "intelligently casual look."

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        If I ever buy this, somebody please shoot me.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Oh no, Officer! Please don't savage me with your big, heavy nightstick!

    • CountryClubJihadi

      Biff and Muffy better watch their fucking backs! http://www.9goods.net/goods.php?id=19951&ref=

  • MissTaken

    I bet Adam Sandler is really bummed about his Red Hooded Sweatshirt nowadays.

  • prommie

    If you see someone in a bathrobe and slippers, its ok to use an automatic weapon.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Word. And especially at Wal-Mart.

    • MissTaken

      Could be Tony Soprano, so yes?

      • prommie

        In reality, I have only seen white boys out in public looking like that, are they imitating that Puff-Diddy person that I hear so much about?

  • BornInATrailer

    He's got a point about clothing and profiling. Every time I, as a man in his late thirties, wears his old drug rug (with hood) that maybe fits a little more snugly these days ..I get called a ridiculous tool. I'm not imagining this.

    • prommie

      I, as a man in my 50s (sob) wear a drug rug, and its a new one, and I have never heard anyone call me a ridiculous tool. They must whisper, or wait till I am far enough away.

  • widestanceromance

    It wouldn't be very nice to speculate about how Zimmerman will find prison life, would it?

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      Actually, rape jokes kind of suck. So, no.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    uh oh. i'm wearing a hoodie right now!

  • hagajim

    I am urging the parents of black and Latino youngsters particularly to not let their children go out wearing hoodies Geraldo to not go out with that God awful mustache. Fixed.

  • johnnymeatworth

    Hey, Geraldo, could you hold my Skittles and tea for a sec?

  • hagajim

    What are the monks gonna do now? I guess they'll just have to stay inside.

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    Boyz In The Hoodie

  • Blueb4sunrise
    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      I'm too lazy to google it, but I bet Moses wore one too.

    • flamingpdog

      The guy was brown – what did you expect?

  • carlgt1

    how about we pre-emptively strike guys with Snidely Whiplash mustaches, as they must be evil-doers who tie innocent women to train-tracks etc. Sorry Geraldo!

  • Eve8Apples

    I have the same reaction to old white guys in suits. Something about them just screams fraudulent fascists who destroy innocents to make money. Makes me want to pop their assess.

    • Boojum_Reborn

      Pop a cap in their assets?

  • JustPixelz

    In fairness, Zimmerman did shoot the hoodie. He can't be responsible for where the bullet went next.

    • Gleem McShineys

      In fact, he is a good samaritan. You see, he was trying to save the poor boy who was literally being eaten by the fiendish hoodie. It was the the bullet that overreacted, understandably, though.

  • BarackMyWorld

    D'oh! I wanted to post that!

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Apparently the Neighborhood Watch Association in "Hot Fuzz" was on to something.

  • WiscDad

    The preponderance of hoodies could not be because they've been a teen fashion statement for TWENTY FUCKING YEARS!!!! Nope…only 20 million gangstas wear them. Like my 3 teen kids. Every time you see them in the alcove at church, they're wearing a hoodie. Every time you see them stick up for each other when they're in trouble, they're wearing a hoodie. Every time you see them head out to scouts or music lessons, they're wearing a hoodie. Give me a fucking break.

  • ElPinche

    It's like saying wear a mustache that looks like a rodent carcass or you'll get mouth-raped.

  • ElPinche

    It's like saying wearing a mustache that looks like a rodent carcass will get you mouth-raped.

    • RadioStalingrad

      Would that be Muskrat Love? This one's for you Henry.

  • Blueb4sunrise
    • RadioStalingrad

      I'm too lazy to look it up, but wasn't Pillow slouching towards Wasilla in a hoodie when Palin rolled her eyes at that teacher?

      • Blueb4sunrise

        I had that mental image too, but only made one google attempt myself. This one works on a number of levels.

      • Boojum_Reborn

        I upfisted you for "Pillow".

        • RadioStalingrad

          And her sister, Whistle.
          Also, too, tx for not upfisting me on my pillow.

    • Guppy

      Is there a surveyor's mark on the back?

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Now I'm questioning if I should have left the house with my weighted knuckle rings, gold rope chains, platinum bridgework and Huggie Bear pimp leisure suit. It is James O'Keefe Appreciation Day right?

  • ingloriousbytch

    So what article of clothing is responsible for the death of Geraldo's career?

    • Boojum_Reborn

      Panty liners.

    • flamingpdog

      His asshat.

  • RadioStalingrad

    Hey, did Layne take all the Wonkette hoodies before turning over the keys to the car?

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I really hope nobody tries to shoot me for my many crimes of fashion.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    I'm sure Bill Belichick will take his off, now that Geraldo has pointed out this hazard.

  • Ruhe

    Just today I was wondering which Fox/Limbaugh axis dumbass would be the first to even dare to say something about this case. But then I thought "no, they can't. This is just too sad. They won't possibly try to…" Then Geraldo jumps in. Well, now that one of them is in it up to his surgically tightened wattle I hope they're all in. I hope that everyone from Rush to lil Sarah! is inspired to share with us the insights into American culture they've gained from reviewing this obvious case of community policing being undermined by urban fashion choices. This was nothing more than a wardrobe malfunction, i.e., if you're "urban" you might want to dress more "rural" just to be safe.

  • bureaucrap

    We used to joke that there was a "fashion police" capable of imposing the death penalty (back in the day, the crimes were velour tracksuits and neon green anything, but I see that neon green is making a comeback). It seems to me, however, that if the fashion police is real, their decisions should come out of New York, Paris or Milan, not Sanford FL.

    In any case, I'm going to stick to Ralph Lauren (nee Lipschitz) from now on. Kitschy, but safe.

  • rambone

    Good thing the general public isn't afraid of sellout Latino Uncle Tomás-es who sport molester-moustaches or Geraldo could never leave the house.

  • Toomush_Infer

    But….he is kind of right….I mean….I have an "instant reaction" every time I see Geraldo on TV…..click….

  • DCBloom

    Oh for fucks sake… my mother gave my brothers the same shpeil about boys with long hair. back in the 60's

  • AlaskaGrrl

    I think this demands an in depth, patented, Gerardo – get- the- facts investigative reporting piece. 'Ol Gerry needs to put on a hoodie and go walking around Florida neighborhoods and see if this is really true! Maybe in Zimmerman's neighborhood.

  • Redhead

    Well at least Fox News is consistent in their shunning of the logic, and all.

  • rambone

    You know the old Johnny Cash song, ‘Don’t take your gun to town, son. Leave your gun at home.’

    If only Johny Cash had written a song encouraging people to leave their hoodies at home, Trayvon might be alive today.

    Or, I dunno, maybe if Zimmerman had listened to the song Cash actually wrote, and left the fucking gun at home.

    Also, too, I liked the uncomfortable look on Geraldo's face when he recited the lyrics and it slowly dawned on him that he was a hairs-breadth away from accidentally blaming the shooter, instead of the victim, thereby suggesting that it may not be a good idea for every borderline mental defective with delusions of adequacy to drive around packing heat.

  • nirrti_rachelle

    Today, we are all hooded sweatshirts.

  • bagofmice

    Hoodies don't kill people. People with guns kill people with hoodies.

  • Flat_Earther

    Hoods are reserved for certain venerable Southern organizations to wear. Black people should never wear hoods, particularly in the South.

  • smitallica

    Watch out, Mark Zuckerberg. It's only a matter of time.

  • Flat_Earther

    On second thought…

    Maybe Geraldo is right. Black people have been killed in the South because of hoodies since the 1860s. Granted it was mostly white people wearing the hoodie, but it was black people that were dying. There is a correlation between dead black people and hoodies.

  • Swampgas_Man

    People see/hear an asshole making stupid, racist comments and what's the instant reaction? Fox News.

    But Gerry Rivers can't be racist, because he's hispanic, as he tells his "dark-skinned son" all the time.

    • Dr. Nick Riviera

      Amazing! Neither can George Zimmerman! Right out of the old country he is!

  • lochnessmonster

    He was right about Al capone's vault too…REMEMER?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Lock up the women and children and barricade the pond feature in the backyard, it's Common and his Hoodie Militia!!!!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNw4amjdV0c

  • anniegetyerfun

    So, Geraldo will be cool with it if someone shoots his son because his son is clearly asking for it? I feel sorry for that kid.

  • Soylent Green

    How old's Geraldo's son by now? 40?

  • Dr. Nick Riviera

    Also: Lincoln's hat to blame for assassination! Folks, can you really blame Booth? What kind of dick goes to a theater with a foot tall hat!?

  • Boojum_Reborn
  • GregComlish

    Can white boys still wear hoodies because of their whiteness? Awesome!

  • Negropolis

    Geraldo Rivera: Trayvon Martin’s Hoodie ‘Is Responsible’ For His Death

    Shorter: If those race-sluts didn't dress that way, they wouldn't be getting shot.

    I'll remember that next time I see a Klan rally…

  • Negropolis

    Geraldo, eh…you're not from around here, are ya', boy..?

  • ChessieNefercat

    "Its crime scene surveillance tapes. Every time you see someone stick up a 7-Eleven, the kid is wearing a hoodie."

    And yet, Geraldo, you fucking jackass, the actual convenience store clerk who had to muster up his courage to sell skittles and iced tea to a kid dressed like every other kid his age didn't feel a need to shoot the kid dead!

    No, some asshole with a gun, in a truck, followed the kid, who didn't put his hood up until he felt threatened by the creep who was stalking him. Said asshole then murdered the kid in cold blood. Fifteen robberies in the neighborhood? That poor kid had every reason to fear Zimmerman and his creepy, menacing, aggressive behavior, not the other way around.

  • Citizen Kitteh

    Trayvon would have been OK if he had been wearing one of these? http://www.cafepress.com/+fox_news_hooded_sweatsh

  • chaz11222

    Blame the Hoodie? GIVE ME A BREAK. It was raining …. the kid was running …..and being stalked …….and ….SORRY, but we don't ALL use Totes umbrellas when going to the corner grocery store for a snack. Nor should we risk losing our very lives while doing so! Mr. Rivera: you should be ashamed of your inane, insensitive comments about Trayvon, and your attempts to create "excuses" for the inexcusable actions of judge-jury-and-executioner George Zimmerman (and those that would imitate him). We are becoming a society that seeks and sees threats under every rock; a frightened society that sees danger with every “other” that is not just like us;  a manipulated society with control-freaks running rampant (whether politicians or mayors or police chiefs or individuals). Power-hungry people that are only too eager to take advantage of our fears; that are only too eager to get away with anything and everything that they can, that are only too willing to deprive us of our our liberty (and sometimes our lives)…..all in the name of defending it. What a shell game. But were it only a game. For it includes the worst provisions of the Patriot Act, the police spying on innocent people, papers-please and stop&frisk gone wild, the “right” to indefinitely detain Americans without trial, and out-of-control homicidal vigilantes such as we have tragically seen here. It’s a slippery slope that ultimately leads to a police state/Orwellian mentality that is more typical of places such as China or Cuba – NOT the America that I know and love. We USED to stand proud and free, and contrasted our open society to such sorry places. Now we imitate them. Our country is better than this. Our values are better than this. WE are better than this. Don’t blame the hoodie……blame what we are becoming, and allowing, and doing as a society. As Shakespeare once said: the fault is not in our stars, but in ourselves. For we have come to accept things that should NEVER be accepted by a freedom-loving people. It’s time… it’s way past time, to have the strength and courage to reverse course.

  • fitley

    I'm sure before the cops answer the phone and Zimmerman is on the line, they see the caller ID and say "That fucking dildo Zimmerman is calling again, who wants to pick up"?

  • Greta_Garbage

    geraldo resembles the cowardly lion from the wizard of oz. should we shoot him now before he makes it safely back to kansas?

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    What, I don't look badass in my new hoodie?

  • HistoriCat

    Adorably badass!