Not a man who should start a race war.Whew! Tucker Carlson’s Daily Callgirl couldn’t quite figure out how to blame Barack Obama for Trayvon Martin’s death, but thankfully star “reporter” Matthew Boyle came up with the next best thing: President Barack Obama only commented on the death of a young man shot by a guy muttering “fucking coons” because the Black Panthers told him to.

Matthew Boyle, our hats are off to you! Seriously, those are some big black balls you got hanging under that belly.

Obama and the White House have previously refrained from commenting on the case thus far. Following demands by the New Black Panthers and others on scene in Sanford, Fla. that the White House get involved, Obama jumped into the fight. When first asked about the case, White House press secretary Jay Carney essentially declined comment, offering a boilerplate statement of condolence to Martin’s family.

On Thursday, the New Black Panthers and other left-wing political figures including the Rev. Al Shartpon rallied in Sanford, Fla., demanding justice for Martin – and that police arrest the man who shot him, George Zimmerman. The Panthers, Sharpton and other left-wing political figures on scene invoked the racial components of the fight, with some alleging this was a “hate crime” and others claiming this was “racism perpetrated by violence.” They riled up the thousands in attendance, but urged them to avoid resorting to violence of their own.

Great job, Boyle! What will you spend your bonus on when the race war comes?

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  • Barb

    "Great job, Boyle! What will you spend your bonus on when the race war comes?"
    A blow up doll that he will name Ariel.

  • Hera Sent Me

    Why can't Tucker spend his trust fund on Lamborghinis, cocaine and $2000 a night call girls, like a respectable spoiled little rich boy?

    • beavertank

      Because those can only annoy a small segment of the population at a time. A true spoiled rich kid won't settle for less than annoying 5% of the country at a time.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Why can't Tucker spend his trust fund on Lamborghinis, cocaine and $2000 a night call girls rent boys

      Fixed, for accuracy.

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      Or a vanity campaign for the Senate?

      (claps hand over own mouth)

      Never said it! Never said it!

    • fitley

      Because he's a self-loathing closeted gay?

  • Mitt Romney: "Speaking for the New Black Panthers is not something I would do, but I am good friends with the owner of the Carolina Panthers"

    • Toomush_Infer

      And he did own a small country that had panthers…

  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    Matthew Boyle

    Just saw man steal money in return for word-vomit. It was me! #journalism #WheresTheDOJ #Obama

  • BarackMyWorld

    Yesterday I said I didn't want it to rain today. Today it hasn't rained. Obviously the rain clouds are doing what I tell them.

    • bikerlaureate

      Props. I was trying to create snark about some poor slob being tasked with explaining "Correlation does not equal causation" to these shills, but your pithy example is hard to beat.

    • Gleem McShineys

      May I suggest you say "assholes, stop being assholes" and maybe Matthew Boyle will cut this shit out!

  • ChernobylSoup

    "Previously, thus far" is the new also, too.

  • el_donaldo

    Fidel Castro, Angela Davis, the ghosts of Adolf Hitler and Saul Alinsky, the New Black Panthers, Al Sharpton, and other left-wing figures…


  • SorosBot

    Yeah, Obama does whatever Al Sharpton and the New Black Panthers (all what, three of them?) want him to because he's black. That is a perfectly cromulent argument, and in no way stupid or racist.

    • Fare la Volpe

      They're embiggening an issue out of proportion.

    • Studebaker Hawk

      Why else would he pose for a photo in a Bootsy Collins outfit with a bucket of fried chicken? Q.E.D.

  • WhatTheHeck

    I knew it! Malcolm X is the Democratic party boss.

  • ChernobylSoup

    The old "A black guy made me do it." It's not just for South Carolina anymore.

  • freakishlywrong

    That took a while..

  • edgydrifter

    On the other hand, taking orders from Koch Industries is patriotic!

    • beavertank

      Of course, they're job creators! What have those lazy shiftless bl… I mean… Of course, they're job creators!

  • Texan_Bulldog

    In honor of the Hunger Games opening today, can we gather a bunch of these right wing douche bags & have them fight to the death?

    • prommie

      At least there are four of them doing that right now.

    • Fare la Volpe

      They do that already – it's called the Free Market.

    • beavertank

      Only if you build it in the desert and call it "Thunder Dome".

      …I don't much cotton to these newfangled post-apocalyptic movies.

  • pickletickle

    If there's a race war, wouldn't Barry then, by definition, have to target himself. Half-breeds…they just can't win.

  • facehead

    "The New Black Panthers" sounds like a reality show about hot middle-aged black women who seduce young men.

    In any case, obviously Hitler told Obama to do it.

    • ChernobylSoup

      You have just described the one and only reality show I would ever participate in.

      Edit: I'm not a black woman. Not really a "young" man either, but I'm sure the network can bend the rules.

    • beavertank

      I always see that as the real-world version of a bad Marvel comic spin-off targeting a younger audience that invariably fails because it's the worst thing perpetrated on mankind since Twilight.

      My version of the world is MUCH more entertaining than militant angry blah people.

    • SorosBot

      It could be a spinoff of MILF Island!

      • Fare la Volpe

        DeBORah was promised a spin-off.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Wouldn't that be Black Cougars?

  • prommie

    On the alt text, you coulda stopped it at "Not a man"

  • Today, we are all Black Panthers.

    (Didn't I tell you this shit would happen?).

  • Fare la Volpe

    Everything's going all helter skelter.

    • I get the reference. You're not as young as your pic.

      • Fare la Volpe

        I'm actually younger – I just read books. And watch A&E.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Just wait 'til I get to the bottom of the slide.

  • Callyson

    So, first Boyle went after Obama for essentially declining to comment, and now he is after Obama because he did comment. What reaction could Obama have given that would have pleased Boyle? Expressing condolences in sign language maybe?
    Well, I've got a gesture for Boyle…

  • James Michael Curley

    Tucker Carlson used to be somebody wasn't he? Blew his fifteen minutes in 8:20.

    • SayItWithWookies

      He was on Dancing with the Stars. I can't remember which star he was paired with though.

      • James Michael Curley

        Mrs. Curley watched it. Was it with Tom Delay?

    • V572 Flambé

      He pretty much went in the dumper after Jon Stewart went on his show and bitch-slapped him.

      • James Michael Curley

        Forgot that.  Saw it too.

  • SayItWithWookies

    What the fuck is "racism perpetrated by violence?!" Racism abetted with violence I can see, but the racism was there before the violence. What weaselly fuckin' language to use. Racism perpetuated by violence. How's that?

    • Grief_Lessons

      It seems you're perpetrating some grammatical intolerance, there. Perpetrating it by lucidity.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        Lucid libel!

    • elviouslyqueer

      Word salad goes in, word salad comes out. You can't explain it.

    • anniegetyerfun

      No, no, no. Violence is just violence. It only becomes racism when someone notices, and mentions, that the victim was black. IT'S LIKE YOU'RE NOT EVEN LISTENING.

  • lefty74

    Tucker Carlson has no dick!

  • SmutBoffin

    I demand that the president execute federal law, appoint federal executive, diplomatic, regulatory, and judicial officers, and conclude treaties with foreign powers.


  • Accusing the President of pandering to the radical left! I'm shocked. Never would I have expected this from Fox News or a journalist of Mr. Carlson's caliber.

  • Exhausted66

    M. Boyle.

    So aptly named.

  • And Mittens only spoke about how he is the anointed after Al Jazeera called for Frothy & Neuter to play the Hungarian card. This is an even sillier cause-effect than the Evilgenitals saying every tornado is doG's wrath over America's love of all things ghey and abortinplexy.

  • freakishlywrong

    Just once, I wish Barry could say something, anything, and hear resounding silence from the orcs. Maybe his acceptance speech in November.

  • I guess Condi Rice wasn't available for comment.

  • Goonemeritus

    This feels kind of old-school isn’t there some way Islamofacists could also be blamed. Where is the creativity in this, perhaps a little more blackboard time is called for.

    • And teh wimminz, with their abortions and birth control.

  • CrunchyKnee

    The New Black Panthers? Didn't they release an album recently?

  • Selfish_T

    The hackitude is strong in this one. I predict a long and lucrative career in right-wing political commentary.

  • freakishlywrong

    Wait till these fucking conservatives learn they're defending a Latino.

  • bumfug

    Fuck! The Daily Caller knows everything! If they find out about Zombie Abbie Hoffman we're really done for!

    • swordfis

      Steal this shroud.

  • samsuncle

    What I want to know is who told Tucker that he looked good in a bowtie?

    • Fare la Volpe

      His mother. Every day she tells him he looks sooo handsome.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        Also the rentboy that his mother hires for him comments positively on the ties as well.

  • Boyle seems to be shilling a meme of "Black people have no reason to do or be anything."

  • RadioStalingrad

    Wait, what? They're off script here, I thought Obama took his orders from Media Matters and Soros.

    • GOPCrusher

      Aren't the Black Panthers the new militant arm of the Soros Empire since ACORN was taken down?

  • larryfinexx

    Charlie Manson is the puppett master

  • FakaktaSouth

    Oh good, if the 2-live crew NBB are there, then Fox can cover the protests from their usual angle as well.

    ALso, that picture. Oh god, I don't care what Jon Stewart says, a bow tie is much preferable to whatever the hell THAT shit is. Tucker is a dick.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Even dicks grow hair.

      • FakaktaSouth

        I know, and I like dicks after all. Jon shoulda said something better. Tucker the fucker (which I also like) or something

    • FakaktaSouth

      NBP? Maybe? Damn. I am whiter than Mitt sometimes. I can't EVEN do rap names.

  • C_R_Eature

    It will be a great day when our schools get all the money they need and the Daily Caller has to hold a Bake Sale to publish bullshit.

  • "What will you spend your bonus on when the race war comes?"

    Hopefully a hoodie.

    And no, not another white one like you already own.

  • CivicHoliday

    Apparently Matthew Boyle and other Daily Caller "journalists" have been reading our comments section, since I am pretty sure one of us made a joke about Obama using the word "soul" and how that could be used to associate him with the Black Panthers.

    • not that Dewey

      1. strip a Wonkette comment of all sarcasm, intelligence, and context
      2. publish it with a straight face in a rw hack journal
      3. ???
      4. Profit!

      • sullivanst

        3. wait for the knuckledraggers to suck it up like it was ambrosia.

  • Beowoof

    Wow, those guys really got nothing do they. They should get on board with the Onion before they completely embarrass themselves. At least then folks with think the dumb is on purpose not a reflection of political philosophy.

  • CommieLibunatic

    This is starting to get confusing. Is Obama some grand dictator? Or just some puppet for (insert organization name here)? STOP MESSING WITH MY HEAD, CONSPIRACY THEORISTS!!

    Oh, what the fuck ever.

    • sullivanst

      Cognitive dissonance – they haz it.

  • spends2much

    Tucker Carlson; born on third base, but still manages to get tagged out after taking a grounder in the nuts. Idiot.

  • Sassomatic

    "Following demands by the New Black Panthers and others on scene in Sanford, Fla. that the White House get involved, Obama jumped into the fight."

    I'm kind of appalled that this is even considered a "fight." A guy stalked and murdered an innocent kid. Reminds me of the time many years ago when a guy I was seeing turned violent on me and I tried to tell. I was met with "It's not my business if you two got into a fight."

  • ttommyunger

    So, does Tucker use jelly or syrup when tossing Boyle's salad? Just askin…

  • hagajim

    Al Shartpon? Doesn't a shart come with Santorum?

  • johnnymeatworth

    Wow, is it 1968 already?

  • O’bammer just gets punked by everybody; he should learn we would respect him more if he stpos doing what everyone tells him to do, dang nambit!

    Whose watching the neighborhood with Zimmie hiding???

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Can we just give Tucker the WIN! for the Election Cycle, and go back to ignoring him?

  • GortRay

    That shitball zimmerman was out hunting that night, plain and simple. He was gunnin' for an unwelcome minority. And as he was non-black and living in a gated commune in the south he assumed he would get away with it. And apparently he was correct in that assumption.

    • Exactly.

      Chasing someone with a gun is not self-defense. The word for it is "hunting".

  • More like "Obama did not comment on a case that has some disturbing aspects because some asshole like Tucker would make it into yet another 'controversy' to indulge in yet more poutrage".

  • anniegetyerfun

    The Panthers, Sharpton and other left-wing political figures on scene invoked the racial components of the fight, with some alleging this was a “hate crime” and others claiming this was “racism perpetrated by violence.”

    Yes, unlike Trayvon's murderer, who used the sweet, loving term "coon" to describe his victim. You know, raccoons! Cute, little cuddly creatures. Clearly the Panthers are the racists here, by trying to drag this animal-loving shooter's name throught the mud.

  • sullivanst

    I'll take Common Logical Fallacies for $400, please Alex.

    What is post hoc ergo propert hoc?

  • dadanarchist

    Trayvon Martin's murder demonstrates that a "New" Black Panthers would probably be a good idea (the actual NBP is a laughable shell of an organization whose only function is to haunt the dreams of FOX news bobbleheads).

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    OK, so in 2012 we're actually having freakouts about Black Panthers, the Weather Underground, communists, and the threat posed by women using birth control?

    Shit, I hate these continuity reboots. JJ Abrams, you have a LOT to answer for.

    • GOPCrusher

      Make love. Not war.

      • Doktor StrangeZoom


    • Wile E. Quixote

      I'm hoping that President Obama will make "Acid, Amnesty and Abortion" his 2012 platform because I could totally vote for that.

  • Steverino247

    You know, if I was a black man who had somehow survived to age 50 without being shot and I was an office holder of a position where I knew people wanted me shot so badly they would encourage target shooters to pretend it was me they were shooting at, well, I'd have an opinion about shooting black men. I wouldn't need anyone to tell me to have one.

    It's a good thing stupid doesn't burn because if it did, this would cause third degree burns.

  • Toomush_Infer

    So, Tucker – a young black man wearing a hoodie and Skittles gets followed and killed for being suspicious in a white neighborhood, and all these folks are trying to gin up a "racial"aspect to this?….is that what you're saying?… it?….well, what could they be thinking?…

  • flageek

    This isn't new… it's far from new. There has been a concerted effort by the frightened, old, rich white guys to come out on top when they're officially out-numbered by the mud people (their term, not mine). It's why "Stand Your Ground" otherwise known as Lawful Night Riding is just a small part of disenfranchisement, voter suppression, and the prison industrial complex. Dictators, or want to be dictators/oligarchs need to keep the majority downtrodden, frightened for their very existence and powerless…. case in point, Afrikaner South Africa.

    And, the population needs to be reduced, not our class, but all the others. Affordable, can't have that, Medicare and Medicaid, not that either. What's left will be desperate, improvised to a degree not seen since Edwardian England, and most important, beaten and tractable.

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