go big or go home

SHOCKER! Rick Santorum Endorses Barack Obama!

WaaaambulanceLooks like we’re getting to the shirty, snitty, smegma-lipped-pout phase of the GOP primaries. Rick Santorum would like to take Mitt Romney’s toys and go home!

“You win by giving people the opportunity to see a different vision for our country, not someone who’s just going to be a little different than the person in there,” said Santorum. “If you’re going to be a little different, we might as well stay with what we have instead of taking a risk with what may be the etch a sketch candidate of the future.” Watch Rick Santorum endorse Barack Obama, after the jump!

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[NBC, via TPM]

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  • Barb

    Is he giving up on his mantra: We don't need no education, we don't need no birth control.

    • Callyson

      If you don't eat your meat you can't have any pudding
      How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat!

      • gullywompr

        That's not pudding.

      • Biff

        Pink slime isn't meat.

        • Bonzos_Bed_Time

          I thought it was brown-flecked froth?

  • nounverb911

    Is that a santorum stain on Santorum's shirt?

  • veritass

    He's such a non-conformist that he's not going to conform with the rest of the non-conformists.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      So, no tribal armband tattoo? Edgy!

    • prommie

      Its like when the guy who always lies says "I am not lying now."

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Alt caption for the photo: Daddy…please, for the love of Christ, please stop saying stupid shit!

  • hagajim

    Wow! So what li'l Ricky is really saying is "If I can't turn Merika into my own fucked up little theocracy then I'm gonna take my Santorum and go home?" Bye fuckwad!

    • Terry

      Meanwhile, the people of Pennsylvania are saying "We TOLD yinze how bad he is, but you didn't listen."

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Zugzwang!

  • nounverb911

    He's so funny.

  • Schmannnity

    Romney/Procol Harum 2012

  • Goonemeritus

    Well I was going to write in Lyndon LaRouche again but if such a prominent Republican can cross Party lines like that so can I; Obama will be getting my vote in the fall.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    None Ramblers for Rickie?

    OT although not too snarkable, there maybe an eagle or three hatching today.

  • elviouslyqueer

    I smell a bromance!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Sounds like Etch-A-Kvetch to me…

    • hunnybee

      oh good one!

  • AutomaticPilot

    I'm taking my santorum and going home to Creamcup.

  • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

    Buh-bye, li'l Ricky!
    Don't let the door hit you in the ass!

    (Bitter much?)

    • James Michael Curley

      Clean the door knob if it does.

  • barto

    Are we sure that kid isn't Boehner's love child?

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      Not orange.

  • DaRooster

    I prefer the ol' Wooly Willie analogy… as I am over this etch a sketch thingy… besides it erases easier.

  • Crank_Tango

    My other Teleprompter is an Etch-A-Sketch.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Umm, Ricky? A lot of people in 2008 thought Barack Obama was "a little better" than John McCain.

    See how this works?

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    If he really believes in Be LOTS Different Or No Different At All, I hope his kids listen, learn, and start stocking up on BDSM subscriptions, updating passports, with 1 or more of 'em ultimately to bring home a shotgun-eloped spouse from overseas, of spooky lineage like Sephardic Jooish or Bengalese.

    • Biff

      And possibly same-sex. You want to see heads explode, right?

  • edgydrifter

    Rick's real Secret Service codename is "Shit-fer-brains."

    • JustPixelz

      Now that Michele Rick Perry Herman Sarah Palin™ isn't using it.

    • Beowoof

      Shit is feeling insulted at this connotation.

  • paris biltong

    Hey, you gotta feel for that guy, opinions are a bitch, aren't they?

    • GreatChristiano

      Prolly just one of his interMITTent lapses of consciousness…

    • GOPCrusher

      Seriously, the man is just trying to bring Xtian Sharia Law to America.
      What could possibly go wrong with that?

      • http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39308_Breitbarts_Fans_Spew_Racism_Call_for_President_Obama_t glamourdammerung

        Maybe this time the death camps will have friendly corporate logos and branding.

  • Sue4466

    If Romney's an etch-a-sketch, Santorum's Mr. Potato Head, right? He's got the same vacant look in his eyes. And it doesn't matter where you move his mouth, he still says the same stupid shit.

    • GreatChristiano

      It is beginning to look like the one who keeps his mouth shut longest will win.

      • Biff

        If Ron Paul speaks, but no tv cameras are on him, does that count as silent?

        • GreatChristiano

          For Paul, it's his thinking that gives him away, so silence will help him not…

    • GOPCrusher

      It's time to shake the Etch-A-Sketch that makes up the Republiklan candidates slate when Ron Paul comes off looking like the sanest option.

  • Terry

    I wonder if the GOP hierarchy is going to make him stand on a stage with Mitt and endorse him in person, just like they made John McCain do with Bush.

    "Yeah, John, he smeared your adopted daughter. So what? Go up there and endorse Dubya and hug him like you mean it."

  • mavenmaven

    Its either me, Rick Santorum, or damn you all for eternity. Apres moi le deluge!

    • TheMightyHaltor

      Louis XV Libel!

  • Sassomatic

    Yes, totally better to run an extremist freak against a centrist, than to run a slightly more conservative centrists against a slightly more liberal centrist. That makes santorum-loads of sense.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    In fairness to Rick, he merely said Obama was a better President than an Etch-a-Sketch

  • Toomush_Infer

    Sensotorum…

  • Come here a minute

    The Republicans running against Mitt Romney seem ecstatic to label him with a children's drawing toy, so how would they metaphorically represent their other opponents?

    Newt Gingrich – Glitter Glue
    Rick Santorum – Paste, Eater of (sorry, not a metaphor)
    Ron Paul – Spirograph

  • Toomush_Infer

    The one thing Rick ever said that made sense, and you folks are all over him…..think of the billion dollars Mitt will waste on this election, that could be buying Cuba Libres for Wonketteers….JUST GIVE UP NOW, RNC!… ;….P.S. Is that pouty little girl in the Santorum picture the same big pouty girl that stands behind him in this year's concession speeches?…

    • James Michael Curley

      Yea

  • GreatChristiano

    Darn him! I recently changed my party affiliation, only to learn this?

    Maybe the Independents will still have me…

    • GOPCrusher

      The LaRoucheites are a big tent organization.

  • Callyson

    For once, the American people agree with the Frothy Mix: http://www.realclearpolitics.com/epolls/2012/pres

  • FakaktaSouth

    The Goopers I monitor for "general repug feelings" (NOT thoughts, mind you, FEELings) are posting "the Truth about Romney" vids and sites. These are NOT vids or sites that encourage insightful intelligent curiosity, but it does screw with his Mittness (There's a great day a-coming, cause I was drunk…JBuffett) This may be the funnest time to live amongst the mo'rons evah.

    • prommie

      I was God's Own Drunk and a fearless man.

      • FakaktaSouth

        Now we just need a bear to come and make Mitt disappear.

        • prommie

          I'm just gonna take a slash.

  • Callyson

    "You win by giving people a choice"
    OK, America…
    Do you want the leader who got bin Laden and who got this economy finally to turn around despite endless efforts on the part of the "loyal opposition" to subvert him. or do you want to return to a candidate who will endorse the very policies that got us into this mess that has taken so long to clean up in the first place?

  • prommie

    According to reports, Santorum is going to give up on beating Obama in an election, and instead is going to lead a "second amendment" challenge to the President.

    • GOPCrusher

      WITH VOTES!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Santorum's lunacy, unfortunate as it may be for the GOP, makes sense. If you spend four years painting the current president as a radical socialist apologizing dijon-eating secret Muslim, of course you would want to be very different from him.

    It's just that some voters might conclude that if being radically different from Obama for its own sake ends up with insane theocracy, then maybe the whole Republican smear campaign is a baldfaced lie. Smear or Santorum, people — it's your choice.

  • nirrti_rachelle

    Santorum and Obama, get a room!

  • ttommyunger

    Ricky endorses Barry, Mittens is for the Republican Party after he was against it. Wow, good thing that clip of Newt was at the end; at least he's still the repulsive shit-stain he's always been.

  • Eve8Apples

    Barry phoned Santorum, sang a few bars of "Let's Stay Together" and invited him to Camp David for a private "beer summit."

  • SorosBot

    It's kind of a given on any man that feels the need to control women's uteri.

  • C_R_Eature

    All right now: a headline here pairing Rick Santorum with the Shocker is just gratuitously Cruel.
    To us.

    • Biff

      Is that one in the pink, or two?

      • C_R_Eature

        All None of them, Katie.

  • Redhead

    Somehow, Mr. President-Etch-A-Sketch just STILL sounds catchier than Mr. President-Frothy-Lube-and-Fecal-Matter.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Can't wait to hear that quote all fall…

  • OneYieldRegular

    Funny – I was already planning to take his advice.

  • GOPCrusher

    You just know that Santorum's inner voice is telling him to just let loose and say "Vote for me or vote for the n*gger."

  • owhatever

    Former Senator Santorum's spokesperson explained that the senator meant if an Etch-a-Sketch is running for President, then what's the point of electing it, because it is not a real person, like he himself. The spokesperson's spokesperson then explained that the spokesperson misspoked and that the former Senator is indeed a real person. By the time they furnished photographs to prove that, another news cycle had passed and no one cared, except Fox, which blamed Obama.

  • smitallica

    Well, even a stopped clock is still a homophobic, misogynist dinosaur with no fucking chance of winning. Wait, I did that wrong.

  • retarded_baboon

    "smegma-lipped"

    Ugh. Should have known better than to read Wonkette while eating lunch. Especially yogurt.

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Switching from snark mode to speculation mode for a second here. Let's assume for a second here that Li'l Ricky actually has a clue what he's doing, which is a stretcher, I'll admit. If so, perhaps he's getting ready, setting the table, marking out the trail so to speak, for a 3rd party run. The Christian Party.

    • http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39308_Breitbarts_Fans_Spew_Racism_Call_for_President_Obama_t glamourdammerung

      That would be awesome if only for the sheer comedy value of America's Taliban trying to hustle up votes.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Romney: "Any Republican would be better than Obama."

    The fucking twit actually does believe this. And that's the real problem with the GOP.

  • WiscDad

    Just saw this on MSNBC from Santorum:

    "I would never vote for Barack Obama over any Republican and to suggest otherwise is preposterous,”

    Well?…why the fuck not?

  • YasserArraFeck

    All in all, he needs another kick in the balls

  • Barb

    All in all he's the biggest dick of them all.

  • SorosBot

    No way; I'm pretty sure he's two inches, tops.

    Oh wait I thought you said has the biggest dick.