GO BIG OR GO HOME  11:23 am March 23, 2012

SHOCKER! Rick Santorum Endorses Barack Obama!

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

WaaaambulanceLooks like we’re getting to the shirty, snitty, smegma-lipped-pout phase of the GOP primaries. Rick Santorum would like to take Mitt Romney’s toys and go home!

“You win by giving people the opportunity to see a different vision for our country, not someone who’s just going to be a little different than the person in there,” said Santorum. “If you’re going to be a little different, we might as well stay with what we have instead of taking a risk with what may be the etch a sketch candidate of the future.” Watch Rick Santorum endorse Barack Obama, after the jump!

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[NBC, via TPM]

 
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{ 83 comments }

Barb March 23, 2012 at 11:24 am

Is he giving up on his mantra: We don't need no education, we don't need no birth control.

Callyson March 23, 2012 at 12:01 pm

If you don't eat your meat you can't have any pudding
How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat!

gullywompr March 23, 2012 at 12:10 pm

That's not pudding.

Biff March 23, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Pink slime isn't meat.

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 23, 2012 at 2:00 pm

I thought it was brown-flecked froth?

nounverb911 March 23, 2012 at 11:26 am

Is that a santorum stain on Santorum's shirt?

veritass March 23, 2012 at 11:26 am

He's such a non-conformist that he's not going to conform with the rest of the non-conformists.

Lascauxcaveman March 23, 2012 at 11:37 am

So, no tribal armband tattoo? Edgy!

prommie March 23, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Its like when the guy who always lies says "I am not lying now."

Dashboard Buddha March 23, 2012 at 11:26 am

Alt caption for the photo: Daddy…please, for the love of Christ, please stop saying stupid shit!

hagajim March 23, 2012 at 11:27 am

Wow! So what li'l Ricky is really saying is "If I can't turn Merika into my own fucked up little theocracy then I'm gonna take my Santorum and go home?" Bye fuckwad!

Terry March 23, 2012 at 11:41 am

Meanwhile, the people of Pennsylvania are saying "We TOLD yinze how bad he is, but you didn't listen."

DerrickWildcat March 23, 2012 at 11:28 am

Zugzwang!

nounverb911 March 23, 2012 at 11:28 am

He's so funny.

Schmannnity March 23, 2012 at 11:29 am

Romney/Procol Harum 2012

Goonemeritus March 23, 2012 at 11:30 am

Well I was going to write in Lyndon LaRouche again but if such a prominent Republican can cross Party lines like that so can I; Obama will be getting my vote in the fall.

weej_bain March 23, 2012 at 11:31 am

None Ramblers for Rickie?

OT although not too snarkable, there maybe an eagle or three hatching today.

elviouslyqueer March 23, 2012 at 11:31 am

I smell a bromance!

mrblifil March 23, 2012 at 11:32 am

Sounds like Etch-A-Kvetch to me…

hunnybee March 23, 2012 at 12:12 pm

oh good one!

AutomaticPilot March 23, 2012 at 11:32 am

I'm taking my santorum and going home to Creamcup.

DemmeFatale March 23, 2012 at 11:33 am

Buh-bye, li'l Ricky!
Don't let the door hit you in the ass!

(Bitter much?)

James Michael Curley March 23, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Clean the door knob if it does.

barto March 23, 2012 at 11:34 am

Are we sure that kid isn't Boehner's love child?

ManchuCandidate March 23, 2012 at 11:35 am

Not orange.

DaRooster March 23, 2012 at 11:34 am

I prefer the ol' Wooly Willie analogy… as I am over this etch a sketch thingy… besides it erases easier.

Crank_Tango March 23, 2012 at 11:35 am

My other Teleprompter is an Etch-A-Sketch.

Lascauxcaveman March 23, 2012 at 11:35 am

Umm, Ricky? A lot of people in 2008 thought Barack Obama was "a little better" than John McCain.

See how this works?

Mumbletypeg March 23, 2012 at 11:37 am

If he really believes in Be LOTS Different Or No Different At All, I hope his kids listen, learn, and start stocking up on BDSM subscriptions, updating passports, with 1 or more of 'em ultimately to bring home a shotgun-eloped spouse from overseas, of spooky lineage like Sephardic Jooish or Bengalese.

Biff March 23, 2012 at 12:52 pm

And possibly same-sex. You want to see heads explode, right?

edgydrifter March 23, 2012 at 11:37 am

Rick's real Secret Service codename is "Shit-fer-brains."

JustPixelz March 23, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Now that Michele Rick Perry Herman Sarah Palin™ isn't using it.

Beowoof March 23, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Shit is feeling insulted at this connotation.

paris biltong March 23, 2012 at 11:37 am

Hey, you gotta feel for that guy, opinions are a bitch, aren't they?

GreatChristiano March 23, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Prolly just one of his interMITTent lapses of consciousness…

GOPCrusher March 23, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Seriously, the man is just trying to bring Xtian Sharia Law to America.
What could possibly go wrong with that?

glamourdammerung March 23, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Maybe this time the death camps will have friendly corporate logos and branding.

Sue4466 March 23, 2012 at 11:38 am

If Romney's an etch-a-sketch, Santorum's Mr. Potato Head, right? He's got the same vacant look in his eyes. And it doesn't matter where you move his mouth, he still says the same stupid shit.

GreatChristiano March 23, 2012 at 12:01 pm

It is beginning to look like the one who keeps his mouth shut longest will win.

Biff March 23, 2012 at 12:55 pm

If Ron Paul speaks, but no tv cameras are on him, does that count as silent?

GreatChristiano March 23, 2012 at 1:57 pm

For Paul, it's his thinking that gives him away, so silence will help him not…

GOPCrusher March 23, 2012 at 1:05 pm

It's time to shake the Etch-A-Sketch that makes up the Republiklan candidates slate when Ron Paul comes off looking like the sanest option.

Terry March 23, 2012 at 11:43 am

I wonder if the GOP hierarchy is going to make him stand on a stage with Mitt and endorse him in person, just like they made John McCain do with Bush.

"Yeah, John, he smeared your adopted daughter. So what? Go up there and endorse Dubya and hug him like you mean it."

mavenmaven March 23, 2012 at 11:46 am

Its either me, Rick Santorum, or damn you all for eternity. Apres moi le deluge!

TheMightyHaltor March 23, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Louis XV Libel!

Sassomatic March 23, 2012 at 11:46 am

Yes, totally better to run an extremist freak against a centrist, than to run a slightly more conservative centrists against a slightly more liberal centrist. That makes santorum-loads of sense.

actor212 March 23, 2012 at 11:46 am

In fairness to Rick, he merely said Obama was a better President than an Etch-a-Sketch

Toomush_Infer March 23, 2012 at 11:48 am

Sensotorum…

Come here a minute March 23, 2012 at 11:51 am

The Republicans running against Mitt Romney seem ecstatic to label him with a children's drawing toy, so how would they metaphorically represent their other opponents?

Newt Gingrich – Glitter Glue
Rick Santorum – Paste, Eater of (sorry, not a metaphor)
Ron Paul – Spirograph

Toomush_Infer March 23, 2012 at 11:53 am

The one thing Rick ever said that made sense, and you folks are all over him…..think of the billion dollars Mitt will waste on this election, that could be buying Cuba Libres for Wonketteers….JUST GIVE UP NOW, RNC!… ;….P.S. Is that pouty little girl in the Santorum picture the same big pouty girl that stands behind him in this year's concession speeches?…

James Michael Curley March 23, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Yea

GreatChristiano March 23, 2012 at 11:54 am

Darn him! I recently changed my party affiliation, only to learn this?

Maybe the Independents will still have me…

GOPCrusher March 23, 2012 at 1:07 pm

The LaRoucheites are a big tent organization.

Callyson March 23, 2012 at 12:03 pm

For once, the American people agree with the Frothy Mix: http://www.realclearpolitics.com/epolls/2012/pres

FakaktaSouth March 23, 2012 at 12:06 pm

The Goopers I monitor for "general repug feelings" (NOT thoughts, mind you, FEELings) are posting "the Truth about Romney" vids and sites. These are NOT vids or sites that encourage insightful intelligent curiosity, but it does screw with his Mittness (There's a great day a-coming, cause I was drunk…JBuffett) This may be the funnest time to live amongst the mo'rons evah.

prommie March 23, 2012 at 12:22 pm

I was God's Own Drunk and a fearless man.

FakaktaSouth March 23, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Now we just need a bear to come and make Mitt disappear.

prommie March 23, 2012 at 12:48 pm

I'm just gonna take a slash.

Callyson March 23, 2012 at 12:10 pm

"You win by giving people a choice"
OK, America…
Do you want the leader who got bin Laden and who got this economy finally to turn around despite endless efforts on the part of the "loyal opposition" to subvert him. or do you want to return to a candidate who will endorse the very policies that got us into this mess that has taken so long to clean up in the first place?

prommie March 23, 2012 at 12:22 pm

According to reports, Santorum is going to give up on beating Obama in an election, and instead is going to lead a "second amendment" challenge to the President.

GOPCrusher March 23, 2012 at 1:08 pm

WITH VOTES!

SayItWithWookies March 23, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Santorum's lunacy, unfortunate as it may be for the GOP, makes sense. If you spend four years painting the current president as a radical socialist apologizing dijon-eating secret Muslim, of course you would want to be very different from him.

It's just that some voters might conclude that if being radically different from Obama for its own sake ends up with insane theocracy, then maybe the whole Republican smear campaign is a baldfaced lie. Smear or Santorum, people — it's your choice.

nirrti_rachelle March 23, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Santorum and Obama, get a room!

ttommyunger March 23, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Ricky endorses Barry, Mittens is for the Republican Party after he was against it. Wow, good thing that clip of Newt was at the end; at least he's still the repulsive shit-stain he's always been.

Eve8Apples March 23, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Barry phoned Santorum, sang a few bars of "Let's Stay Together" and invited him to Camp David for a private "beer summit."

SorosBot March 23, 2012 at 12:38 pm

It's kind of a given on any man that feels the need to control women's uteri.

C_R_Eature March 23, 2012 at 12:39 pm

All right now: a headline here pairing Rick Santorum with the Shocker is just gratuitously Cruel.
To us.

Biff March 23, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Is that one in the pink, or two?

C_R_Eature March 23, 2012 at 1:07 pm

All None of them, Katie.

Redhead March 23, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Somehow, Mr. President-Etch-A-Sketch just STILL sounds catchier than Mr. President-Frothy-Lube-and-Fecal-Matter.

Maman March 23, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Can't wait to hear that quote all fall…

OneYieldRegular March 23, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Funny – I was already planning to take his advice.

GOPCrusher March 23, 2012 at 1:10 pm

You just know that Santorum's inner voice is telling him to just let loose and say "Vote for me or vote for the n*gger."

owhatever March 23, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Former Senator Santorum's spokesperson explained that the senator meant if an Etch-a-Sketch is running for President, then what's the point of electing it, because it is not a real person, like he himself. The spokesperson's spokesperson then explained that the spokesperson misspoked and that the former Senator is indeed a real person. By the time they furnished photographs to prove that, another news cycle had passed and no one cared, except Fox, which blamed Obama.

smitallica March 23, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Well, even a stopped clock is still a homophobic, misogynist dinosaur with no fucking chance of winning. Wait, I did that wrong.

retarded_baboon March 23, 2012 at 1:57 pm

"smegma-lipped"

Ugh. Should have known better than to read Wonkette while eating lunch. Especially yogurt.

gurukalehuru March 23, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Switching from snark mode to speculation mode for a second here. Let's assume for a second here that Li'l Ricky actually has a clue what he's doing, which is a stretcher, I'll admit. If so, perhaps he's getting ready, setting the table, marking out the trail so to speak, for a 3rd party run. The Christian Party.

glamourdammerung March 23, 2012 at 2:38 pm

That would be awesome if only for the sheer comedy value of America's Taliban trying to hustle up votes.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 23, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Romney: "Any Republican would be better than Obama."

The fucking twit actually does believe this. And that's the real problem with the GOP.

WiscDad March 23, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Just saw this on MSNBC from Santorum:

"I would never vote for Barack Obama over any Republican and to suggest otherwise is preposterous,”

Well?…why the fuck not?

YasserArraFeck March 23, 2012 at 11:32 am

All in all, he needs another kick in the balls

Barb March 23, 2012 at 11:32 am

All in all he's the biggest dick of them all.

SorosBot March 23, 2012 at 11:52 am

No way; I'm pretty sure he's two inches, tops.

Oh wait I thought you said has the biggest dick.

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