THE REAPING  2:20 pm March 22, 2012

Ann Coulter Says It Is Now Time To ‘Go After’ The Obama Children

by Liz Colville

Despite steadfastly declaring a year ago that if people nominated Mitt Romney to be president, “we’ll lose,” fervent Mitt Romney supporter and reluctant believer in math Ann Coulter has now decided that in order for loser Mitt to lose slightly less appallingly, his supporters and the undecided tens of millions on the right must “go after” Sasha and Malia Obama. Of course, with recent Oaxacagate, we have seen that this subtle strategy is already well in effect. But now Ann Coulter has arrived, and she will take over from here. How does one go after a child, though, besides attacking their spring break style?

Is it like this?

According to Ann, so far it just involves going on television with particularly poufy yellow hair and saying, “Reap them,” or whatever. This sweet angel named Hannity claims in a clip from a TV show he has that “in my opinion” it’s quite unpleasant for a person to call a woman the c-word on air. Ann Coulter then segues beautifully into, Hey, this gives me an idea, of a different thing to do that is awful.

Just a recap:

I think it’s more just going after the family members and the children, and by the way, that has been done grotesquely and viciously over the years by the left…

Which…you think that would indicate that it is not the best idea. But also, how is it “time,” when this insulting of the t(w)eens has already been happening since 2010 or so? Anyway, fake-endorsing Romney has given Ann Coulter a few more paid media appearances, and maybe now she is thinking long-term, and wondering if by advising Romney to ruin the lives of children, she will somehow ruin Romney’s life too, and then Chris Christie will trundle on to a weird summer victory? We would watch that. Ve-e-e-ry closely. [Media Matters]

 
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{ 225 comments }

AlterNewt March 22, 2012 at 2:24 pm

It's about time!! Spawn of Satan!

chicken_thief March 22, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Sasha and Malia are in a death metal band?!

AlterNewt March 22, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Listen close. You can hear them.
<a href="http://www.myspace.com/music/player?song=http%3A%2F%2 Fwww.myspace.com%2F666spawnofsatan%2Fmusic%2Fsongs%2Fthe-church-of-horror-24479559″ target=”_blank”>http://www.myspace.com/music/player?song=http%3A%…” target=”_blank”>Fwww.myspace.com%2F666spawnofsatan%2Fmusic%2Fsongs%2Fthe-church-of-horror-24479559

AlterNewt March 22, 2012 at 2:49 pm

P.S. God I hate that shit.

AbandonHope March 22, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Sounds like a credible threat to me, Secret Service! Go nuts!

Gratuitous World March 22, 2012 at 2:28 pm

"Nuts" was actually her Secret Service code name.

actor212 March 22, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Oddly, also her Key West nickname. True story.

Exhausted66 March 22, 2012 at 2:45 pm

"You've already voted on that comment" said the screen when I tried to give two thumbs up. One for each nut.

Biff March 22, 2012 at 3:16 pm

You'd think "she" would have perfected the tuck by now.

YasserArraFeck March 22, 2012 at 4:15 pm

I thought it was "Brass Balls"

AbandonHope March 22, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Also, dear GOD, Coulter gets uglier every time I see him.

Barb March 22, 2012 at 2:25 pm

I'd like to punch her in the Adam's apple.

AbandonHope March 22, 2012 at 2:27 pm

If Coulter's eyes sunk any lower they'd fall through the back of his neck.

LettucePrey March 22, 2012 at 3:26 pm

I'd like to beat her with her own cock.

actor212 March 22, 2012 at 2:25 pm

She's always looking for virgin blood.

I mean, fresh meat…TERRITORY! Territory, fresh territory, I mean

Barb March 22, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Q: What's does the Ann Coulter doll look like? A: It has the head of a Barbie, but all the parts of Ken!

Clancy_Pants March 22, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Lady looks like a dude!

JustPixelz March 22, 2012 at 3:07 pm

And the dude looks like a chick. Um, which one is which?

nonbeliever7 March 22, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Ha, they really got us. That's just Andy Dick doing one of his outrageous parodies.

Not_So_Much March 22, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Cunt. that is all.

Z Crudmonger March 22, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Yup, Hannity is a cunt. Coulter? Meh.

BornInATrailer March 22, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Coulter is more of a prick.

finallyhappy March 22, 2012 at 4:51 pm

I always said I won't use that word but it suits this mean ugly bitch

WiscDad March 22, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Ann Coulter is a cunt…plain and simple.

chicken_thief March 22, 2012 at 2:43 pm

I can never see her name without thinking of a "short story" posted on the intertubes titled "I Fucked Ann Coulter in the Ass, Hard". Cleverly written story. Humorous, even. Obvs, can be found via the googles.

BlackRhino March 22, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Oh my sweet dingle, it's true!!!11!
reading it now

Stevola March 22, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Don't insult cunts.

Isyaignert March 23, 2012 at 1:15 am

I think Man Coultergeist is a DICK – a muthafukkin' DICK!!

HempDogbane March 22, 2012 at 2:29 pm

If one were an evil human being and wanted to raise another Ann Coulter from a girl child, how might one accomplish this?

Edit: that was the nurture question. I had a nature one, but it was too disgusting to put in words.

actor212 March 22, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Well, one thing for sure: it would involve an "operation".

Boojum_Reborn March 22, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Step 1: Take one (1) boy child.

Step 2: ????

Step 3: Aiiiieeeee!!!

Ruhe March 22, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Let's see…First Miss Havisham kicks Estella out and lets Pip move in. Then she insists that he dresses in all of Estella's clothes. Then….

GOPCrusher March 22, 2012 at 3:06 pm

It would have to involve a cage and rubber hoses, but it's a fine line between Coulter and full blow feral beast.

Gainsbourg69 March 22, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Leave it out in the woods and let the critters raise it.

tessiee March 22, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Harry Harlow would probably be willing to lend you a wire monkey.

Sparky McGruff March 22, 2012 at 8:25 pm

I'd upfist you, but I'm feeling helpless.

tessiee March 22, 2012 at 6:46 pm

"raise another Ann Coulter from a girl child, how might one accomplish this?"

Isn't there a lab in Brazil that clones those things?

freakishlywrong March 22, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Those two getting together would be the gayest hate-fuck in all of TeeVee.

actor212 March 22, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Where did I leave that brain bleach??????

freakishlywrong March 22, 2012 at 2:37 pm

At the Lindz/DeMint post..

chicken_thief March 22, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Whoa! THERE'S an idear – a little man on man, girl on girl action with Sweet Lindsay, Shawn, DeMint and Coulter. Lindsay could massage his lady bits with a Poulon 4000 while the three men swapped spit in a big pile! Maybe we could even get Lou Sarah to make a cameo – she's prolly hurtin' for bucks by now.

actor212 March 22, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Oh, thanks. Thought I lost it.

Biff March 22, 2012 at 3:26 pm

And I just lost something else.

Texan_Bulldog March 22, 2012 at 2:31 pm

What are you going to say negative about a middle schooler & an elementary age child? Seriously? They're not getting falling down drunk, there aren't any upskirt pics, they didn't get knocked up in a tent drunk on wine coolers and they don't have a reality show or have had chin implants. WTH?

freakishlywrong March 22, 2012 at 2:37 pm

THEY ARE ON THE PILL AND HAVE HAD 5 OR 6 ABORTIONS.

chicken_thief March 22, 2012 at 2:39 pm

But when you add in the blah factor, it is essentially the same.

actor212 March 22, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Malia caused the Messican earthquake near Oaxaca!

DemmeFatale March 22, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Maybe we should ask Amy Carter and Chelsea Clinton for pointers.

Callyson March 22, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Christ, the wingnuts on HuffyPo were going on about supposed liberal hypocrisy on the kids issue after the Frothy Mix went on his rant about Malia in Mexico. "Palin girls!" "Maher!" "Letterman!"
Yeah? Show me one statement where Obama, Hillary Clinton, or any other *presidential candidate* (as opposed to some comedian, who contrary to the opinion of some trolls is not a DNC employee) went off on a Republican's child…
Assholes.

carlgt1 March 22, 2012 at 4:54 pm

well the odd false-equivalence of the Repukes seems to be "if a Wonketter makes fun of Meghan McCain — then Rush & other 'top pundits' have carte-blance to attack the 'ugliness' of Amy Carter & Chelsea Clinton etc etc"

livefastdieold March 22, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Remember all the horrible things the left said about Meghan McCain & the Huntsman daughters? Like about how they're attractive & have reasonable opinions?

WhatTheHeck March 22, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Ann, please shut up. All that bleach you use on that hair is getting to your brain. What a stupid and unwarranted thing to say about young children.

Biel_ze_Bubba March 23, 2012 at 2:17 am

Brain?

weej_bain March 22, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Ann Coulter is really zombie Ayn Rand, but the crypt time has shaved a number of IQ points.

AbandonHope March 22, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Damn, can you even hit negative IQ levels?

GOPCrusher March 22, 2012 at 3:08 pm

If you can have negative P points, then all things are possible.

Ruhe March 22, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Okay, that is, amazingly, a view of Coulter that makes her seem somewhat attractive…because…you know, at least she doesn't look like zombie Ayn Rand.

freakishlywrong March 22, 2012 at 2:33 pm

I literally physically recoil when I see either of these two. Seeing them together makes me want to log off and drive home in a huff. And start power drinking.

James Michael Curley March 22, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Better yet, start some power equipment and go after any alleged pre-menopausal eggs that woeman can claim.

Boojum_Reborn March 22, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Or antifreeze drinking.

mavenmaven March 22, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Ann Coulter: "Maybe It's Time" For Conservatives To "Go After The Obama Children" "because, after all, how much lower can we conservatives sink?"

Terry March 22, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Maybe Coulter has made a massive bet with someone over how far down she can make the conservatives go.

GOPCrusher March 22, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Probably Bill Maher. Winner gets to be the fucker instead of the fuckee.

Not_So_Much March 22, 2012 at 2:53 pm

I don't think anyone should ask how much lower they can go. They've already been disturbingly creative.

GemlikeFlame March 22, 2012 at 2:33 pm

You know, Coulter's no idiot, but I think she feels like she somehow has to compete with Rush for sheer offensiveness. This ought to put her on top for a bit, but I'm kinda hoping it doesn't escalate. I mean, right wing political theatre is one thing, but this is borderline idiot incitement.

Besides, if she's unhappy about what people were saying about the Bush offspring, well, truth as an absolute defense against libel/slander still stands.

fuflans March 22, 2012 at 10:26 pm

it's not the bush offspring. it's the palin brood that gets their goat.

so to speak.

GemlikeFlame March 23, 2012 at 12:22 am

Implausible on the face of it. Nobody with a pulse could possibly take the Palin circus seriously.

The_Lucky_Wife March 23, 2012 at 5:51 am

But the RWNJs do take the Palins seriously, so much so, that they equate them with our current President and his family. And they equate a late night comedian saying one offensive word about Quitter Palin to the mouthpiece of the gop going off in Sandra Fluke for three days. If no Democrats condemned Maher, none excused him either, and if I recall correctly, NOW did condemn his remark. Gopers, however, have tried to excuse Limpy (including Quitter Palin).

Limeylizzie March 22, 2012 at 2:34 pm

STFU, you bony-assed, sinewy, vile, asinine, cuntish piece of gristle.

finallyhappy March 22, 2012 at 4:53 pm

this is worthy of 1000 thumb ups!

Limeylizzie March 22, 2012 at 5:05 pm

I love me an adjective or nine.

mull_man March 22, 2012 at 5:58 pm

hmm gristle … that's it – she's subhuman / something came over her

Negropolis March 23, 2012 at 1:19 am

"cuntish"

Delicious, Lizzie. Delicious.

chicken_thief March 22, 2012 at 2:35 pm

"…Chris Christie will trundle on to a weird summer victory? We would watch that. Ve-e-e-ry closely. "

First of all, Christie couldn't "trundle" anywhere. The man has one speed – plod. Secondly, no need to watch "closely". You can see that fat fuck a mile away. Literally.

prommie March 22, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Fucking fat fuckface shitbag fucking lardass fat fucking piece of motherfuckig fat fucking shit ratbastard dickwad shithead fucker. Thats what I think of that fat fucking turd.

Ruhe March 22, 2012 at 2:59 pm

I think "trundle" is meant to describe the motion of the Harkonenesque gut-barrow the governor uses to push (literally) his weight around.

actor212 March 22, 2012 at 3:09 pm

He can trundle downhill! SLOPE LIBEL!!!!!!!!!!!

tessiee March 22, 2012 at 7:20 pm

The first sign that Christie's on the move is when the liquid in glasses and cups begins to move a la "Jurassic Park".

dubyatf March 23, 2012 at 1:01 am

Impact tremor?
Slaps forehead
I just realized what's causing those booming noises in Clintonville, WIsconson. . .
Christie keeps dropping his pannus before he can get it tucked into his limited edition Yeti Spanx.

4TheTurnstiles March 22, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Those kind of kids do look very suspicious, you know. With their hooded sweatshirts and all.

AbandonHope March 22, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Somebody get that man a sammich.

And I guess Hannity can have one too.

tessiee March 22, 2012 at 7:21 pm

But no sangwich for Chris Christie.

IceCreamEmpress March 22, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Hopey has two beautiful daughters, Anger and Courage. Oh, whoops, I meant Sasha and Malia.

Chill-A-Sketch March 22, 2012 at 2:37 pm

What could possibly an old, lonely, hateful, and irrelevant childless tranny like Coulter know about children? I almost feel bad for her (well, not really).

hagajim March 22, 2012 at 2:37 pm

I'd say she's a cunt – but that would be too demeaning to cunts. And also, adams apple.

SorosBot March 22, 2012 at 2:37 pm

"that has been done grotesquely and viciously over the years by the left"

Funny how every time the right-wing accuses the left of doing something horrible that they do, they never have any actual examples or evidence.

AbandonHope March 22, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Hey, they're the ones that haven't denied the rumors that Ann Coulter and Glenn Beck simultaneously raped and murdered a girl in 1990.

glamourdammerung March 22, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Because conservatives lie.

Ruhe March 22, 2012 at 3:03 pm

That one, among other Republican rhetorical tropes, appears with such regularity and in such a consistent form that I am sure there literally has to be a secret play-book out there that they all consult.

glamourdammerung March 22, 2012 at 3:14 pm

That one, among other Republican rhetorical tropes, appears with such regularity and in such a consistent form that I am sure there literally has to be a secret play-book out there that they all consult.

Secret? It is called Fox "news".

SorosBot March 22, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Along with Rush Limbaugh and the rest of talk radio.

Mumbletypeg March 22, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Really. I listened, and waited. Coulter rattles off something about how Dems "outed Republicans' gay children." Never specifies. I dunno. I give up.

Pop_Socket March 22, 2012 at 3:14 pm

I never knew that Mary Cheney was all that in the closet, having two kids with a woman partner and all.

SorosBot March 22, 2012 at 3:23 pm

And I didn't know that she was a child and not a middle-aged woman.

Pop_Socket March 22, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Because to Republicans, you have hide your gay children in the attic their entire life.

Swampgas_Man March 22, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Pretty sure Alan Keyes' daughter came out all on her own.

Loaded_Pants March 22, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Ah, but if she was a Democrat then technically Ann's right.

actor212 March 22, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Because liberals, hullllllooooooooooooooo??????

GOPCrusher March 22, 2012 at 3:13 pm

No. But they always manage to make it their justification for everything. For a group of people that despise liberals so bad, kind of makes you wonder why they imitate everything they do.

Gleem McShineys March 22, 2012 at 3:17 pm

We were forced against our wills to be complete shitheel scabfuck crudscum fuckstick cuntwagons! If it weren't for those terrible librals, we'd be ANGELS

Doktor StrangeZoom March 22, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Well, of course, there was the Rude Thing that Letterman said about "Palin's daughter," which was a joke about Bristol (by then an adult), but the right all knew that he REALLY meant Willow, because Liberals All Molest Children Every waking Moment.

So, yeah, just like we all take our marching orders from George Soros, we all agree with David Letterman–and not even the real David Letterman, but rather the imagined David Letterman, who is far worse.

AbandonHope March 22, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Hey, I got one for you: What's the difference between Ann Coulter and infected pink slime?

…No, really, I'm asking.

Boojum_Reborn March 22, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Pink slime doesn't have a dick.

WhatTheHeck March 22, 2012 at 3:42 pm

I beg to differ. Pink slime includes all parts of the meat.

BigSkullF*ckingDog March 22, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Infected pink slime is more appetizing, and smarter, and an awesome name for barb's next all-girl band.

kissawookiee March 22, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Dominick's and Safeway haven't banned Coulter yet?

HempDogbane March 22, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Coulter has far better bone structure.

Loaded_Pants March 22, 2012 at 6:13 pm

A very bony structure.

not that Dewey March 22, 2012 at 11:48 pm

One of them wasn't treated with ammonia.

user-of-owls March 23, 2012 at 12:35 am

Damn shame they didn't use it on the toxic one first.

not that Dewey March 23, 2012 at 10:24 am

I've got those proposal presentations today, after lunch. Wish me luck!

Slim_Pickins March 22, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Anne's Adam's Apple is much less prominent since he started taking those female hormones.

Slim_Pickins March 22, 2012 at 5:01 pm

fixed

Gratuitous World March 22, 2012 at 2:40 pm

She actually means conservatives should enlist younger, poor + middle class Americans to go after them while she (and pretty much everyone else) ignores it for the next decade

MozakiBlocks March 22, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Oh please do this Mitt because the one thing that will make Barry lose his shit is attacking Malia and Sasha. The result may not be what you think it would be.

AbandonHope March 22, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Example: Ever seen that West Wing episode where the Secret Service catches the guy that kidnapped President Bartlet's daughter? Now double it.

GOPCrusher March 22, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Barry is too cool for that. But it would be awesome to see Michelle deliver the near fatal throat punching to Coulter that he/she/it so rightly deserves.

Dumbedup March 22, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Forget barry, Michelle! Jackhammering punches into Rmoney's face with her powerful toned arms.

V572 Flambé March 22, 2012 at 2:41 pm

What kind of unholy alliance has allowed Hannity to have Coulter on his awful show repeatedly? Why hasn't she burned him to the waterline like she does every other talk-show honcho?

These are the questions the Lamestream Media refuses to pursue, and for good reason.

weej_bain March 22, 2012 at 2:51 pm

When Coulter breaks out her riding crop and starts with the potty mouth, the Seanmeister breaks into a sweat and starts writing hot checks.

chicken_thief March 22, 2012 at 2:56 pm

True love?!

James Michael Curley March 22, 2012 at 3:03 pm

To 'burn Hannity to the waterline' would assume that Hannity was stable in the water.

V572 Flambé March 22, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Picked the wrong military metaphor. How about “Why hasn't Coulter RPGed Hannity's foxhole…”?

Mumbletypeg March 22, 2012 at 2:42 pm

If ever a smouldering, barbaric-plagued wasps'nest of hatred has evoked more cuntempt from my depths I can't think of any.

MissTaken March 22, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Does anyone know how to write out TRANNY on an Etch A Sketch?

Boojum_Reborn March 22, 2012 at 2:53 pm

A-N-N-C-O-U-L-T-E-R

C_R_Eature March 22, 2012 at 5:47 pm

BORG-WARNER LIBEL!!1!!1

doloras March 22, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Babe, seriously, on behalf of all the actual trans people on Wonkette, and their friends, NOT COOL. Not cool to use that word, which is the equivalent of "N*gger* or "F*ggot". And not cool to compare trans people to scumbags like Ann Coulter, who – all joking aside – isn't even one.

Failed_2_Menace March 22, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Her premise that ridiculing the opposition's kin has ever been a trait exclusive to the Left is as insightful as Billy Beer was tasty.

Tundra Grifter March 22, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Why does the party that claims to be based on principles always compare its actions to those of the people it hates?

Insult Mr. Obama? Hey, look what they said about George Bush!

Insult women (Boss BlunderRush)? Hey, look at Bill Maher!

Undermine the President? Hey, remember what they did to George Bush!

Sheer InSannity is the past master of this technique. Look at the vile hate speech of "the left!" Then "Listen to Ann Falter!"

Is it just me or are these folks really just nutz?

Pop_Socket March 22, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Have we had Rush Limbaugh call them ugly yet? Or does he only pay attention to Dominican boys now?

PubOption March 22, 2012 at 3:51 pm

I don't think he would try the 'White House Dog' routine again. But then, he is Rush.

prommie March 22, 2012 at 2:45 pm

They are black, of course, and if that weren't bad enough, they are unemployed, and they are not even looking for work, instead they take handouts from their parents, so they are shiftless, lazy welfare queens, when you get right down to it.

chicken_thief March 22, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Rumor has it that they are talking about going to college. Too. Also.

prommie March 22, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Atheist commies.

Pop_Socket March 22, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Elitist snobs. Doing the same things real white people do.

Negropolis March 23, 2012 at 1:24 am

What snobs!

Ruhe March 22, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Nancy Regan's astrologer foretold their rise to power. Then Vince Foster arranged her disappearance before he himself was rubbed out.

GOPCrusher March 22, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Nancy Reagan killed Vince Foster? OMG!

chicken_thief March 22, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Vince Foster was god and Nancy Reagan did him?!

Pop_Socket March 22, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Don't they live in public housing, too?

Negropolis March 23, 2012 at 1:25 am

The most public of housing, in fact!

glamourdammerung March 22, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Too bad that when one of their followers does something, these cretins are not going to be held to account for their incitement.

johnnyzhivago March 22, 2012 at 2:51 pm

I think it's time to go after spider legged transvestite talk show guests.

elviouslyqueer March 22, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Okay, I'm confused. When did Bert from Sesame Street turn into a hideously ugly drag queen? And why does Ernie look like he's just swallowed a carton of Colon Blow?

DaRooster March 22, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Going after the Bush gals was not a "dig and try to be extra mean" kinda thing… they took after their dad… so pointing out their moronishness was pretty easy.

johnnyzhivago March 22, 2012 at 2:52 pm

How come Obama's kids haven't joined the military?

Fukui-sanYesOta March 22, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Man, the bouffant chester and skeletor-in-a-wig are really going to town with their whackdoodle siren in the echo chamber.

This is incitement, plain and simple. It won't be Rmoney or whoever, but their halfwitted barely literate internet monkeys will now FILL any comment section on the web with attacks on Sasha and Malia. Even the second-tier media fucks like Beck and Savage will be bandwaggoning along happily, I expect. The second tier gang will be all "the left did it first! hate speech!" but of course that doesn't take away from the fact that you'll be attacking little girls who are protected as much as possible from all these hateful fucking cunts.

Sorry, I have no snark on this. It's cowardly and it's contemptible.

Gleem McShineys March 22, 2012 at 3:27 pm

When FOX commands a "conservative" to eat a shit sandwich, literally instructing them to pluck a bowl-bound floater out and put it between two slices of bread, maybe add a little tassley toothpick to hold it together, and chomp down on it with zeal

THEY DO IT.

Fuckin' fatwas. How do they work?

GOPCrusher March 22, 2012 at 4:27 pm

You had me at "little tassley toothpick".

FakaktaSouth March 22, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Is Ann talking about the fact that it was funny when a Bush kid got popped doing something goofy when drunk? I do remember that.

But he was the President, so it's not really the same thing.

themcwow March 22, 2012 at 2:53 pm

She looks like Anthony Perkins as Norman Bates as Norman Bates' mother.

anniegetyerfun March 22, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Oh, they should definitely do this. Seriously, don't hold back. What do you think of these two young black girls who live in a big house and have a powerful daddy? How does that make you FEEL, rightwingers? Elaborate in great detail; please, hold nothing back.

emmelemm March 22, 2012 at 3:06 pm

On the one hand, I agree: show your true colors. On the other hand, there are plenty of people out there willing to offhandedly shoot a black child and knowing they will get away with it. We *must* find a way to re-establish violent rhetoric as unacceptable.

Boojum_Reborn March 22, 2012 at 2:55 pm

See, teh problem is, with these two girls, that neither of them were born to WHITE parents. If they had any ambition, the sperm and egg would have simply refused to conceive until all the blah genes were sent to the back of the DNA.

Sassomatic March 22, 2012 at 2:58 pm

No way would I go after a teenage girl. Teenage girls are fucking mean as hell.

actor212 March 22, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Hey, Ann?

Do it. Please. And any Coultergiests, please feel free to join in. You especially, Sean Hen-nity, former WRESTLING announcer. Just. Bring. It.

I want you to make Malia and Sasha cry on national TeeVee.

Then we might get single payer healthcare and jetpacks for everyone who votes for Obama and a tax rate of a gazillion percent on incomes over a million and free condoms in nursery school, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmK?

AbandonHope March 22, 2012 at 3:18 pm

I didn't know that… so he went from fake sports to fake news, eh? Good for him, staying with what he knows.

actor212 March 22, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Oh yea! He was an "announcer" for the WWF back in the late 80s. I think that was after he stopped giving blow jobs to his fellow drunk carpenters.

GOPCrusher March 22, 2012 at 4:29 pm

I had forgotten all about that. LOL!

Rotundo_ March 22, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Finding out that Shawn got his start as a wrestling announcer explains so much, so very, very much about him. It crystallizes who he is in three words "Former Wrestling Announcer". So Becko and Rusty were radio wankers and Shawn a wrestling announcer. The intellectual heft of the right simply dazzles some days…
Coulter on the other hand in not explainable at all. There are some folks that only by dint of DNA can be said to be human; she certainly doesn't outwardly display many of the traits.

Eve8Apples March 22, 2012 at 3:00 pm

For decades, Republicans have declared war on children, the poor, the sick, the aged, the infirm, the powerless and the disabled. I see nothing new here.

AbandonHope March 22, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Have we ever seen Ann Coulter and Orly Taitz in the same room together? I'm just saying…

James Michael Curley March 22, 2012 at 3:06 pm

With or without a cup?

Eve8Apples March 22, 2012 at 3:03 pm

That going after Sandra Fluke strategy worked really well for the GOP. I think they should double down by attacking an elementary school and middle school student.

It's no wonder they couldn't find and kill Osama Bin Laden. Their ambition is to destroy little American girls.

GOPCrusher March 22, 2012 at 3:26 pm

And yet Bristol Palin demands an apology from the President because Bill Maher called her mother a Cunt.
I'm still waiting for Tawd to go public and tell the world that he refudiates Sarah's cuntness.

Toomush_Infer March 22, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Okay, Ill say it if Hannity won't: Ann, you are a Continual Disappointment… although the moment she had that bad idea, she did light up for a second – you could see the gears trying to find an unbroken cog…

ifthethunderdontgetya March 22, 2012 at 3:05 pm

All that's missing from this Wingnut Brain Trust Summit™ is Rush Limbaugh.
~

JustPixelz March 22, 2012 at 3:05 pm

I liked her better in the Chick-fil-a song.

Gratuitous World March 22, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Real astute analysis. I keep seeing "exposing flaws of children" listed right between "economy" + "deficit" on the issues that matter most to Americans.

Ruhe March 22, 2012 at 3:08 pm

All this talk about Anne's adam's apple. Really people! In the immortal words of Jim Rome, pointing out that a horsey-faced woman has an ugly horse face is not a take.

GOPCrusher March 22, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Have a take and don't suck.

Redhead March 22, 2012 at 3:11 pm

so it's okay to attack actual minor children of Obama, but not to attack the almost-grown (and legal to drive, have sex and do many other things) offspring of Palin?

SorosBot March 22, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Well they started attacking Chelsea Clinton when she was 13, so there is precedent.

kissawookiee March 22, 2012 at 3:30 pm

"actual minor children WHO HAVE NOT ACTUALLY DONE ANYTHING STUPID AND/OR OFFENSIVE IN PUBLIC of Obama." /fixed

I think that's the key. Something to do with Christian forgiveness, which can't happen without a prior sinful failing, so they're obviously Muslin.

Poindexter718 March 22, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Go for it, Coultergeist.
Call the adorable and precocious Malia "uppity."
Call cute lil' Sasha "a practicing vegetarian" or "an admitted Thespian."
Because Goldwater's record for GOP failure has stood far too long…

BarackMyWorld March 22, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Anyone who takes Coulter seriously is an idiot.

The only thing she's good at is inventing absurd ad hominems, and yet Fox News keeps inviting her back to make her deranged comments and predictions, despite having no track record of ever being right about anything.

ingloriousbytch March 22, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Sasha could stomp Ann Coulter's bony ass into oblivion before that pasteurized, processed freeze-dried bitch knew what hit her.

Toomush_Infer March 22, 2012 at 3:29 pm

and then Malia…..oh boy…..

Gleem McShineys March 22, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Well, this strategy should work out about as well as "making Mitt appear more human."

MarionNYNY March 22, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I'm confused, this Ann Coulter is a real person? I thought it was Hannity in a blonde wig doing a character.

SaintRond March 22, 2012 at 3:30 pm

The balls on that cunt!

Gainsbourg69 March 22, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Hey Ann, call me when Sasha and Malia are seen out in public drunk off their asses or get caught doctor shopping for pills like the Bush girls did.

MarionNYNY March 22, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Of course, she's only proposing doing this in response to the left wing attacks on Republican children. When Limbaugh called Chelsea Clinton a dog, he meant it in the nicest possible way.

Gleem McShineys March 22, 2012 at 3:31 pm

So in light of the long shadow cast across today's news, of an innocent blah kid getting blown away in Florida, and several Jewish kids getting blown away in France, this weird skeletal pundit recommends…

GOING AFTER CHILDREN.

What could go wrong?

glamourdammerung March 22, 2012 at 5:32 pm

I would have thought after Rwanda influencing American hate radio, it was obvious that conservatives merely copy terrorist tactics.

Dumbedup March 22, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Obama just makes these people nuts, they can't seem to touch him, he just sings or tells a joke. he's definitely Reaganesque and they are reduced to going after his adorable little girls. She should watch out though. People get worked up about abusing kids. She does show her face in public, just sayin…

Schmegeg March 22, 2012 at 3:39 pm

And five years later, Sasha and Malia will totally fuck this woman up.

glamourdammerung March 22, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Five years? I think you are being too generous towards Mr. Coulter.

Just standing up to these cretins practically throws them into seizures of submissive pissing.

iburl March 22, 2012 at 3:40 pm

"Ann Coulter Says It Is Now Time To ‘Go After’ The Obama Children"

…and their little dog too?

Negropolis March 23, 2012 at 1:31 am

This deseves a million upfists.

owhatever March 22, 2012 at 3:44 pm

And they complain that the girls travel with Secret Service guards.

yrbmegr March 22, 2012 at 3:47 pm

It just makes the Obama children better future presidents.

tessiee March 22, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Is it finally time to rip the duct tape off her package and slap it over her big mouth?

tessiee March 22, 2012 at 4:01 pm

I'd like to see her *try* and start some shit. Michelle and her mighty arms would rip that blond mop out by its gray roots.

not that Dewey March 22, 2012 at 4:06 pm

There was a great TownHall Freudian slip that chascates posted once (I can't believe that they still haven't corrected it!):

"There is a long history of this from the Left," Coulter said. "I'm spitting man about this attack on Herman Cain, maybe he should be at the top of the ticket."

"Spitting Man" Coulter. Now more than ever.

user-of-owls March 22, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Oh that's just precious. Poignant Points Plus:

Sexual charges against a black man didn't work against Clarence Thomas and it won't work against Cain.

not that Dewey March 22, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Please make that a meme. I've tried, but it didn't stick.

Addendum to Wonkette Style Manual: all references to Mr Coulter shall include the formulation "Spitting Man".

user-of-owls March 22, 2012 at 11:26 pm

Spitting Man Coulter is this generation's Palin Hookworm Conjecture.

ElPinche March 22, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Oooh ! It's Mann Coulter as Cuntniss Cunterdeen in the Cunter Games.

rickmaci March 22, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Actual text of what mAnn said to insHannity. sHe is very scary.

"Scale of Dragon, Tooth of Wolf,
Witches' Mummy, Maw and Gulf
Of the ravin'd salt Sea shark,
Root of Hemlock digg'd i' the dark,
Liver of Blaspheming Jew,
Gall of Goat, and Slips of Yew
Silver'd in the Moon's Eclipse,
Nose of Turk, and Tartar's lips,
Finger of Birth-strangled Babe
Ditch-deliver'd by a Drab,
Make the Gruel thick and slab:
Add thereto a Tiger's Chaudron,
For the Ingredients of our Cauldron.

Double, double toyle and trouble'
Fire burn and Cauldron bubble."

carlgt1 March 22, 2012 at 6:30 pm

as if those Faux News skanks are going to memorize 15 lines of Shakespeare….

An_Outhouse March 22, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Remember when Jenna or not Jenna (I don't remember which) was photographed tripping and on her ass in a D.C. club? MoveOn and the ACLU just would not leave that alone. I think the Socialist Worker is still harping on the Bush's about that.

Negropolis March 23, 2012 at 1:34 am

Not-Jenna turned out to be my favorite one, though, they both semed to have turned out decently enough as human beings in spite of their family.

Eve8Apples March 22, 2012 at 5:04 pm

I think the GOP should go after Bo next. American voters always support politicians who pick on little girls and puppies.

C_R_Eature March 22, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Sphincterella says what?

unclejeems March 22, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Meh, she's just angry because Sasha and Malia are actually someone's daughters, instead of the spawn of a wildebeast and a horned toad. On the other hand, does she really want to move up to number 1 on the FLOTUS' shit list? Think twice, Ann, think twice.

user-of-owls March 22, 2012 at 7:07 pm

"Mr. Jeems? I've got someone on the line from the Amalgamated Brotherhood of Wildebeasts and Horned Toads Local #54 and he seems upset.

What? Well, yes, I suppose you could call him, 'hopping mad,' but I don't think that will help his mood at all, sir."

thefrontpage March 22, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Ann Coulter is like an Etch-A-Sketch: If you shake it just a little bit, all the substance disappears, and you realize there's really nothing there but flakes of chemicals, and nothing else.

Rotundo_ March 22, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Ann is more like shit upholstered in skin within a bone framework.

rocktonsam March 22, 2012 at 6:55 pm

everything I want to say about this twit, I'm no longer allowed to, out of respect to Rebecca,

I hope a snake bites off this twits big toe off also.

Enough about Sha-yawn,

Now about Coulter…

valthemus March 22, 2012 at 7:20 pm

That nice Ann Coulter was not telling the Romney campaign to rhetorically attack the Obamas' children! She was telling the RNC goon squad to do it. Huge difference!

(Hopefully someone will finally pour water on Annie-cakes and she'll just melt away.)

Negropolis March 23, 2012 at 12:59 am

Ummm…what?

BTW, what's the corpse doing wearing a blonde wig, and why is it talking that man?

ttommyunger March 23, 2012 at 9:00 am

"Ann Coulter Says It Is Now Time To ‘Go After’ The Obama Children." Yes, Ann Coulter WOULD say that.

smitallica March 23, 2012 at 9:56 am

Why don't you go after a sandwich, you bony harridan?

DahBoner March 23, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Over Ann Coulter's dead penis!!!!

louierenault March 23, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Hey, what's Gunnar Nelson doing on Hannity?

MRjonz March 23, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Wait; isn't stalking children of liberals Michelle Malkin's job?

Boojum_Reborn March 22, 2012 at 2:51 pm

When you find it, you will see Rush Limbaugh's face staring up at you from beneath.

chicken_thief March 22, 2012 at 2:53 pm

They'll punch through the bottom and start digging under it.

Negropolis March 23, 2012 at 1:16 am

But, that's the thing about conservatism. Picture a barrel, but with the bottom being a gapping maw of an abyss, and lining the walls of the barrel are bitter faces that niggle away at you as you descend forever and ever…amen.

Did I scare you?

Gleem McShineys March 22, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Here's the news story about it:
http://www.backpacker.com/pit_toilet_peeper_new_h

Limeylizzie March 22, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Thanks, I thought it seemed apt.

Sparky McGruff March 22, 2012 at 8:26 pm

DRILL, BABY, DRILL!!!

dubyatf March 23, 2012 at 12:48 am

Between the stories about the pit peeper and the fantasy fornication league (Coulter, Hannity, Graham, Demint) it's doubtful that I'll ever eat again.

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