the reaping

Ann Coulter Says It Is Now Time To ‘Go After’ The Obama Children

Despite steadfastly declaring a year ago that if people nominated Mitt Romney to be president, “we’ll lose,” fervent Mitt Romney supporter and reluctant believer in math Ann Coulter has now decided that in order for loser Mitt to lose slightly less appallingly, his supporters and the undecided tens of millions on the right must “go after” Sasha and Malia Obama. Of course, with recent Oaxacagate, we have seen that this subtle strategy is already well in effect. But now Ann Coulter has arrived, and she will take over from here. How does one go after a child, though, besides attacking their spring break style?

Is it like this?

According to Ann, so far it just involves going on television with particularly poufy yellow hair and saying, “Reap them,” or whatever. This sweet angel named Hannity claims in a clip from a TV show he has that “in my opinion” it’s quite unpleasant for a person to call a woman the c-word on air. Ann Coulter then segues beautifully into, Hey, this gives me an idea, of a different thing to do that is awful.

Just a recap:

I think it’s more just going after the family members and the children, and by the way, that has been done grotesquely and viciously over the years by the left…

Which…you think that would indicate that it is not the best idea. But also, how is it “time,” when this insulting of the t(w)eens has already been happening since 2010 or so? Anyway, fake-endorsing Romney has given Ann Coulter a few more paid media appearances, and maybe now she is thinking long-term, and wondering if by advising Romney to ruin the lives of children, she will somehow ruin Romney’s life too, and then Chris Christie will trundle on to a weird summer victory? We would watch that. Ve-e-e-ry closely. [Media Matters]

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About the author

Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

View all articles by Liz Colville

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225 comments

        1. Exhausted66

          "You've already voted on that comment" said the screen when I tried to give two thumbs up. One for each nut.

  1. Barb

    Q: What's does the Ann Coulter doll look like? A: It has the head of a Barbie, but all the parts of Ken!

    1. chicken_thief

      I can never see her name without thinking of a "short story" posted on the intertubes titled "I Fucked Ann Coulter in the Ass, Hard". Cleverly written story. Humorous, even. Obvs, can be found via the googles.

  2. HempDogbane

    If one were an evil human being and wanted to raise another Ann Coulter from a girl child, how might one accomplish this?

    Edit: that was the nurture question. I had a nature one, but it was too disgusting to put in words.

    1. Ruhe

      Let's see…First Miss Havisham kicks Estella out and lets Pip move in. Then she insists that he dresses in all of Estella's clothes. Then….

    2. GOPCrusher

      It would have to involve a cage and rubber hoses, but it's a fine line between Coulter and full blow feral beast.

    3. tessiee

      "raise another Ann Coulter from a girl child, how might one accomplish this?"

      Isn't there a lab in Brazil that clones those things?

        1. chicken_thief

          Whoa! THERE'S an idear – a little man on man, girl on girl action with Sweet Lindsay, Shawn, DeMint and Coulter. Lindsay could massage his lady bits with a Poulon 4000 while the three men swapped spit in a big pile! Maybe we could even get Lou Sarah to make a cameo – she's prolly hurtin' for bucks by now.

  3. Texan_Bulldog

    What are you going to say negative about a middle schooler & an elementary age child? Seriously? They're not getting falling down drunk, there aren't any upskirt pics, they didn't get knocked up in a tent drunk on wine coolers and they don't have a reality show or have had chin implants. WTH?

  4. Callyson

    Christ, the wingnuts on HuffyPo were going on about supposed liberal hypocrisy on the kids issue after the Frothy Mix went on his rant about Malia in Mexico. "Palin girls!" "Maher!" "Letterman!"
    Yeah? Show me one statement where Obama, Hillary Clinton, or any other *presidential candidate* (as opposed to some comedian, who contrary to the opinion of some trolls is not a DNC employee) went off on a Republican's child…
    Assholes.

    1. carlgt1

      well the odd false-equivalence of the Repukes seems to be "if a Wonketter makes fun of Meghan McCain — then Rush & other 'top pundits' have carte-blance to attack the 'ugliness' of Amy Carter & Chelsea Clinton etc etc"

  5. livefastdieold

    Remember all the horrible things the left said about Meghan McCain & the Huntsman daughters? Like about how they're attractive & have reasonable opinions?

  6. WhatTheHeck

    Ann, please shut up. All that bleach you use on that hair is getting to your brain. What a stupid and unwarranted thing to say about young children.

    1. Ruhe

      Okay, that is, amazingly, a view of Coulter that makes her seem somewhat attractive…because…you know, at least she doesn't look like zombie Ayn Rand.

  7. freakishlywrong

    I literally physically recoil when I see either of these two. Seeing them together makes me want to log off and drive home in a huff. And start power drinking.

    1. James Michael Curley

      Better yet, start some power equipment and go after any alleged pre-menopausal eggs that woeman can claim.

  8. mavenmaven

    Ann Coulter: "Maybe It's Time" For Conservatives To "Go After The Obama Children" "because, after all, how much lower can we conservatives sink?"

    1. Terry

      Maybe Coulter has made a massive bet with someone over how far down she can make the conservatives go.

    2. Not_So_Much

      I don't think anyone should ask how much lower they can go. They've already been disturbingly creative.

  9. GemlikeFlame

    You know, Coulter's no idiot, but I think she feels like she somehow has to compete with Rush for sheer offensiveness. This ought to put her on top for a bit, but I'm kinda hoping it doesn't escalate. I mean, right wing political theatre is one thing, but this is borderline idiot incitement.

    Besides, if she's unhappy about what people were saying about the Bush offspring, well, truth as an absolute defense against libel/slander still stands.

      1. GemlikeFlame

        Implausible on the face of it. Nobody with a pulse could possibly take the Palin circus seriously.

        1. The_Lucky_Wife

          But the RWNJs do take the Palins seriously, so much so, that they equate them with our current President and his family. And they equate a late night comedian saying one offensive word about Quitter Palin to the mouthpiece of the gop going off in Sandra Fluke for three days. If no Democrats condemned Maher, none excused him either, and if I recall correctly, NOW did condemn his remark. Gopers, however, have tried to excuse Limpy (including Quitter Palin).

  10. chicken_thief

    "…Chris Christie will trundle on to a weird summer victory? We would watch that. Ve-e-e-ry closely. "

    First of all, Christie couldn't "trundle" anywhere. The man has one speed – plod. Secondly, no need to watch "closely". You can see that fat fuck a mile away. Literally.

    1. prommie

      Fucking fat fuckface shitbag fucking lardass fat fucking piece of motherfuckig fat fucking shit ratbastard dickwad shithead fucker. Thats what I think of that fat fucking turd.

    2. Ruhe

      I think "trundle" is meant to describe the motion of the Harkonenesque gut-barrow the governor uses to push (literally) his weight around.

    3. tessiee

      The first sign that Christie's on the move is when the liquid in glasses and cups begins to move a la "Jurassic Park".

      1. dubyatf

        Impact tremor?
        Slaps forehead
        I just realized what's causing those booming noises in Clintonville, WIsconson. . .
        Christie keeps dropping his pannus before he can get it tucked into his limited edition Yeti Spanx.

  11. IceCreamEmpress

    Hopey has two beautiful daughters, Anger and Courage. Oh, whoops, I meant Sasha and Malia.

  12. Chill-A-Sketch

    What could possibly an old, lonely, hateful, and irrelevant childless tranny like Coulter know about children? I almost feel bad for her (well, not really).

  13. SorosBot

    "that has been done grotesquely and viciously over the years by the left"

    Funny how every time the right-wing accuses the left of doing something horrible that they do, they never have any actual examples or evidence.

    1. AbandonHope

      Hey, they're the ones that haven't denied the rumors that Ann Coulter and Glenn Beck simultaneously raped and murdered a girl in 1990.

    2. Ruhe

      That one, among other Republican rhetorical tropes, appears with such regularity and in such a consistent form that I am sure there literally has to be a secret play-book out there that they all consult.

      1. glamourdammerung

        That one, among other Republican rhetorical tropes, appears with such regularity and in such a consistent form that I am sure there literally has to be a secret play-book out there that they all consult.

        Secret? It is called Fox "news".

    3. Mumbletypeg

      Really. I listened, and waited. Coulter rattles off something about how Dems "outed Republicans' gay children." Never specifies. I dunno. I give up.

    4. GOPCrusher

      No. But they always manage to make it their justification for everything. For a group of people that despise liberals so bad, kind of makes you wonder why they imitate everything they do.

      1. Gleem McShineys

        We were forced against our wills to be complete shitheel scabfuck crudscum fuckstick cuntwagons! If it weren't for those terrible librals, we'd be ANGELS

    5. Doktor StrangeZoom

      Well, of course, there was the Rude Thing that Letterman said about "Palin's daughter," which was a joke about Bristol (by then an adult), but the right all knew that he REALLY meant Willow, because Liberals All Molest Children Every waking Moment.

      So, yeah, just like we all take our marching orders from George Soros, we all agree with David Letterman–and not even the real David Letterman, but rather the imagined David Letterman, who is far worse.

  14. AbandonHope

    Hey, I got one for you: What's the difference between Ann Coulter and infected pink slime?

    …No, really, I'm asking.

    1. BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Infected pink slime is more appetizing, and smarter, and an awesome name for barb's next all-girl band.

  15. Slim_Pickins

    Anne's Adam's Apple is much less prominent since he started taking those female hormones.

  16. Gratuitous World

    She actually means conservatives should enlist younger, poor + middle class Americans to go after them while she (and pretty much everyone else) ignores it for the next decade

  17. MozakiBlocks

    Oh please do this Mitt because the one thing that will make Barry lose his shit is attacking Malia and Sasha. The result may not be what you think it would be.

    1. AbandonHope

      Example: Ever seen that West Wing episode where the Secret Service catches the guy that kidnapped President Bartlet's daughter? Now double it.

    2. GOPCrusher

      Barry is too cool for that. But it would be awesome to see Michelle deliver the near fatal throat punching to Coulter that he/she/it so rightly deserves.

    3. Dumbedup

      Forget barry, Michelle! Jackhammering punches into Rmoney's face with her powerful toned arms.

  18. V572 Flambé

    What kind of unholy alliance has allowed Hannity to have Coulter on his awful show repeatedly? Why hasn't she burned him to the waterline like she does every other talk-show honcho?

    These are the questions the Lamestream Media refuses to pursue, and for good reason.

    1. weej_bain

      When Coulter breaks out her riding crop and starts with the potty mouth, the Seanmeister breaks into a sweat and starts writing hot checks.

    2. James Michael Curley

      To 'burn Hannity to the waterline' would assume that Hannity was stable in the water.

      1. V572 Flambé

        Picked the wrong military metaphor. How about “Why hasn't Coulter RPGed Hannity's foxhole…”?

    1. doloras

      Babe, seriously, on behalf of all the actual trans people on Wonkette, and their friends, NOT COOL. Not cool to use that word, which is the equivalent of "N*gger* or "F*ggot". And not cool to compare trans people to scumbags like Ann Coulter, who – all joking aside – isn't even one.

  19. Failed_2_Menace

    Her premise that ridiculing the opposition's kin has ever been a trait exclusive to the Left is as insightful as Billy Beer was tasty.

  20. Tundra Grifter

    Why does the party that claims to be based on principles always compare its actions to those of the people it hates?

    Insult Mr. Obama? Hey, look what they said about George Bush!

    Insult women (Boss BlunderRush)? Hey, look at Bill Maher!

    Undermine the President? Hey, remember what they did to George Bush!

    Sheer InSannity is the past master of this technique. Look at the vile hate speech of "the left!" Then "Listen to Ann Falter!"

    Is it just me or are these folks really just nutz?

  21. prommie

    They are black, of course, and if that weren't bad enough, they are unemployed, and they are not even looking for work, instead they take handouts from their parents, so they are shiftless, lazy welfare queens, when you get right down to it.

    1. Ruhe

      Nancy Regan's astrologer foretold their rise to power. Then Vince Foster arranged her disappearance before he himself was rubbed out.

  22. elviouslyqueer

    Okay, I'm confused. When did Bert from Sesame Street turn into a hideously ugly drag queen? And why does Ernie look like he's just swallowed a carton of Colon Blow?

  23. DaRooster

    Going after the Bush gals was not a "dig and try to be extra mean" kinda thing… they took after their dad… so pointing out their moronishness was pretty easy.

  24. Fukui-sanYesOta

    Man, the bouffant chester and skeletor-in-a-wig are really going to town with their whackdoodle siren in the echo chamber.

    This is incitement, plain and simple. It won't be Rmoney or whoever, but their halfwitted barely literate internet monkeys will now FILL any comment section on the web with attacks on Sasha and Malia. Even the second-tier media fucks like Beck and Savage will be bandwaggoning along happily, I expect. The second tier gang will be all "the left did it first! hate speech!" but of course that doesn't take away from the fact that you'll be attacking little girls who are protected as much as possible from all these hateful fucking cunts.

    Sorry, I have no snark on this. It's cowardly and it's contemptible.

    1. Gleem McShineys

      When FOX commands a "conservative" to eat a shit sandwich, literally instructing them to pluck a bowl-bound floater out and put it between two slices of bread, maybe add a little tassley toothpick to hold it together, and chomp down on it with zeal

      THEY DO IT.

      Fuckin' fatwas. How do they work?

  25. FakaktaSouth

    Is Ann talking about the fact that it was funny when a Bush kid got popped doing something goofy when drunk? I do remember that.

    But he was the President, so it's not really the same thing.

  26. anniegetyerfun

    Oh, they should definitely do this. Seriously, don't hold back. What do you think of these two young black girls who live in a big house and have a powerful daddy? How does that make you FEEL, rightwingers? Elaborate in great detail; please, hold nothing back.

    1. emmelemm

      On the one hand, I agree: show your true colors. On the other hand, there are plenty of people out there willing to offhandedly shoot a black child and knowing they will get away with it. We *must* find a way to re-establish violent rhetoric as unacceptable.

  27. Boojum_Reborn

    See, teh problem is, with these two girls, that neither of them were born to WHITE parents. If they had any ambition, the sperm and egg would have simply refused to conceive until all the blah genes were sent to the back of the DNA.

  28. actor212

    Hey, Ann?

    Do it. Please. And any Coultergiests, please feel free to join in. You especially, Sean Hen-nity, former WRESTLING announcer. Just. Bring. It.

    I want you to make Malia and Sasha cry on national TeeVee.

    Then we might get single payer healthcare and jetpacks for everyone who votes for Obama and a tax rate of a gazillion percent on incomes over a million and free condoms in nursery school, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmK?

    1. AbandonHope

      I didn't know that… so he went from fake sports to fake news, eh? Good for him, staying with what he knows.

      1. actor212

        Oh yea! He was an "announcer" for the WWF back in the late 80s. I think that was after he stopped giving blow jobs to his fellow drunk carpenters.

    2. Rotundo_

      Finding out that Shawn got his start as a wrestling announcer explains so much, so very, very much about him. It crystallizes who he is in three words "Former Wrestling Announcer". So Becko and Rusty were radio wankers and Shawn a wrestling announcer. The intellectual heft of the right simply dazzles some days…
      Coulter on the other hand in not explainable at all. There are some folks that only by dint of DNA can be said to be human; she certainly doesn't outwardly display many of the traits.

  29. Eve8Apples

    For decades, Republicans have declared war on children, the poor, the sick, the aged, the infirm, the powerless and the disabled. I see nothing new here.

  30. AbandonHope

    Have we ever seen Ann Coulter and Orly Taitz in the same room together? I'm just saying…

  31. Eve8Apples

    That going after Sandra Fluke strategy worked really well for the GOP. I think they should double down by attacking an elementary school and middle school student.

    It's no wonder they couldn't find and kill Osama Bin Laden. Their ambition is to destroy little American girls.

    1. GOPCrusher

      And yet Bristol Palin demands an apology from the President because Bill Maher called her mother a Cunt.
      I'm still waiting for Tawd to go public and tell the world that he refudiates Sarah's cuntness.

  32. Toomush_Infer

    Okay, Ill say it if Hannity won't: Ann, you are a Continual Disappointment… although the moment she had that bad idea, she did light up for a second – you could see the gears trying to find an unbroken cog…

  33. Ruhe

    All this talk about Anne's adam's apple. Really people! In the immortal words of Jim Rome, pointing out that a horsey-faced woman has an ugly horse face is not a take.

  34. Redhead

    so it's okay to attack actual minor children of Obama, but not to attack the almost-grown (and legal to drive, have sex and do many other things) offspring of Palin?

    1. kissawookiee

      "actual minor children WHO HAVE NOT ACTUALLY DONE ANYTHING STUPID AND/OR OFFENSIVE IN PUBLIC of Obama." /fixed

      I think that's the key. Something to do with Christian forgiveness, which can't happen without a prior sinful failing, so they're obviously Muslin.

  35. Poindexter718

    Go for it, Coultergeist.
    Call the adorable and precocious Malia "uppity."
    Call cute lil' Sasha "a practicing vegetarian" or "an admitted Thespian."
    Because Goldwater's record for GOP failure has stood far too long…

  36. BarackMyWorld

    Anyone who takes Coulter seriously is an idiot.

    The only thing she's good at is inventing absurd ad hominems, and yet Fox News keeps inviting her back to make her deranged comments and predictions, despite having no track record of ever being right about anything.

  37. ingloriousbytch

    Sasha could stomp Ann Coulter's bony ass into oblivion before that pasteurized, processed freeze-dried bitch knew what hit her.

  38. Gleem McShineys

    Well, this strategy should work out about as well as "making Mitt appear more human."

  39. Gainsbourg69

    Hey Ann, call me when Sasha and Malia are seen out in public drunk off their asses or get caught doctor shopping for pills like the Bush girls did.

  40. MarionNYNY

    Of course, she's only proposing doing this in response to the left wing attacks on Republican children. When Limbaugh called Chelsea Clinton a dog, he meant it in the nicest possible way.

  41. Gleem McShineys

    So in light of the long shadow cast across today's news, of an innocent blah kid getting blown away in Florida, and several Jewish kids getting blown away in France, this weird skeletal pundit recommends…

    GOING AFTER CHILDREN.

    What could go wrong?

  42. Dumbedup

    Obama just makes these people nuts, they can't seem to touch him, he just sings or tells a joke. he's definitely Reaganesque and they are reduced to going after his adorable little girls. She should watch out though. People get worked up about abusing kids. She does show her face in public, just sayin…

    1. glamourdammerung

      Five years? I think you are being too generous towards Mr. Coulter.

      Just standing up to these cretins practically throws them into seizures of submissive pissing.

  43. iburl

    "Ann Coulter Says It Is Now Time To ‘Go After’ The Obama Children"

    …and their little dog too?

  44. tessiee

    I'd like to see her *try* and start some shit. Michelle and her mighty arms would rip that blond mop out by its gray roots.

  45. not that Dewey

    There was a great TownHall Freudian slip that chascates posted once (I can't believe that they still haven't corrected it!):

    "There is a long history of this from the Left," Coulter said. "I'm spitting man about this attack on Herman Cain, maybe he should be at the top of the ticket."

    "Spitting Man" Coulter. Now more than ever.

    1. user-of-owls

      Oh that's just precious. Poignant Points Plus:

      Sexual charges against a black man didn't work against Clarence Thomas and it won't work against Cain.

      1. not that Dewey

        Please make that a meme. I've tried, but it didn't stick.

        Addendum to Wonkette Style Manual: all references to Mr Coulter shall include the formulation "Spitting Man".

  46. rickmaci

    Actual text of what mAnn said to insHannity. sHe is very scary.

    "Scale of Dragon, Tooth of Wolf,
    Witches' Mummy, Maw and Gulf
    Of the ravin'd salt Sea shark,
    Root of Hemlock digg'd i' the dark,
    Liver of Blaspheming Jew,
    Gall of Goat, and Slips of Yew
    Silver'd in the Moon's Eclipse,
    Nose of Turk, and Tartar's lips,
    Finger of Birth-strangled Babe
    Ditch-deliver'd by a Drab,
    Make the Gruel thick and slab:
    Add thereto a Tiger's Chaudron,
    For the Ingredients of our Cauldron.

    Double, double toyle and trouble'
    Fire burn and Cauldron bubble."

  47. An_Outhouse

    Remember when Jenna or not Jenna (I don't remember which) was photographed tripping and on her ass in a D.C. club? MoveOn and the ACLU just would not leave that alone. I think the Socialist Worker is still harping on the Bush's about that.

    1. Negropolis

      Not-Jenna turned out to be my favorite one, though, they both semed to have turned out decently enough as human beings in spite of their family.

  48. Eve8Apples

    I think the GOP should go after Bo next. American voters always support politicians who pick on little girls and puppies.

  49. unclejeems

    Meh, she's just angry because Sasha and Malia are actually someone's daughters, instead of the spawn of a wildebeast and a horned toad. On the other hand, does she really want to move up to number 1 on the FLOTUS' shit list? Think twice, Ann, think twice.

    1. user-of-owls

      "Mr. Jeems? I've got someone on the line from the Amalgamated Brotherhood of Wildebeasts and Horned Toads Local #54 and he seems upset.

      What? Well, yes, I suppose you could call him, 'hopping mad,' but I don't think that will help his mood at all, sir."

  50. thefrontpage

    Ann Coulter is like an Etch-A-Sketch: If you shake it just a little bit, all the substance disappears, and you realize there's really nothing there but flakes of chemicals, and nothing else.

  51. rocktonsam

    everything I want to say about this twit, I'm no longer allowed to, out of respect to Rebecca,

    I hope a snake bites off this twits big toe off also.

    Enough about Sha-yawn,

    Now about Coulter…

  52. valthemus

    That nice Ann Coulter was not telling the Romney campaign to rhetorically attack the Obamas' children! She was telling the RNC goon squad to do it. Huge difference!

    (Hopefully someone will finally pour water on Annie-cakes and she'll just melt away.)

  53. Negropolis

    Ummm…what?

    BTW, what's the corpse doing wearing a blonde wig, and why is it talking that man?

  54. ttommyunger

    "Ann Coulter Says It Is Now Time To ‘Go After’ The Obama Children." Yes, Ann Coulter WOULD say that.

  55. Negropolis

    But, that's the thing about conservatism. Picture a barrel, but with the bottom being a gapping maw of an abyss, and lining the walls of the barrel are bitter faces that niggle away at you as you descend forever and ever…amen.

    Did I scare you?

  56. dubyatf

    Between the stories about the pit peeper and the fantasy fornication league (Coulter, Hannity, Graham, Demint) it's doubtful that I'll ever eat again.

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