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Etch A Sketch Company’s Stock Price Triples After Political Guy Says ‘Etch A Sketch’ on TV

When Romney aide Eric Fehrnstrom said something about Etch A Sketches on CNN yesterday, America’s children all immediately ran to the toy store to pick up their copies, because nothing moves consumer retail spending in the children’s toy market quite like a Mitt Romney aide making an unfortunate metaphor on morning cable television. And stock traders, whose job is just to make reactive whimsical trades after every mealy-mouthed central bank and cable news idiot statement within ten minutes, were quick to get in on the action: Ohio Arts, the company that makes Etch A Sketches in China, saw its stock price more than triple. Everyone’s rich again, forever!

National Journal writes:

Romney’s primary opponents and critics jumped on the comments. Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich and former Sen. Rick Santorum, R-Pa., each made appearances with Etch A Sketch toys. Santorum spokesperson Alice Stewart was out handing the toys outside of an event. The DNC also pounced.

Ohio Art, OART:OTC US on the stock exchange, started yesterday at $4.00 per share and finished the day at $12.50 per share.

From there it’s a clear shot to $150.25, by next week! Let’s check on the latest price, just to ensure it’s sticking to this exponential trajectory:

OHIO ART CO (OART.PK)
9.65

SELL IT NOW.

[National Journal]

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Hola wonkerados.

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116 comments

    1. Biff

      Thanks in no small part to malwart and toys-r-us, demanding price concessions if they intend to stay in business have their products placed on our shelves.

      Toys"R"Us is owned by Bain Capital, and we all know who owns the other one.

    1. bloodandirony

      Laugh all you want, Bain is probably unloading their massive holdings of Ohio Arts stock at the inflated price, even as we type.

  1. Joey_Blau

    volume is only 80,000 shares.. that is a thinly traded stock.

    quote right now is ask 9.50 vs bid 4.26 so no one is buying…

    1. James Michael Curley

      That's not a market. That's a couple privileged white dudes pissed off at each other in a poorly run boiler room.

  2. HempDogbane

    Next week Fehrnstrom will make an unfortunate remark relating Romney with a gigantic purple silicone dildo. Hilarity will ensue.

    1. skoalrebel

      Wow! [spit!] I read that as "Hillary will sue," and now I have a very disturbing mental image involving purple dildos, lawyers, and pantsuits. Not fuckin' cool, man [spit]

    1. Fare la Volpe

      Bad move. You should have just waited till the Etch-A-Sketch 4S came out this summer.

    2. WhatTheHeck

      The new Etch A Sketch screen is so fab, it has an eye-popping 18 pixels. The old one from 6 months ago had only 12 pixels.

    3. Biff

      Sounds like a corporate store. I only have access to an affiliate, and the wait was even longer.

  3. Steverino247

    I e-mailed their PR person yesterday and told her enjoy the ride, but to hang on tight because tigers are dangerous to ride. She sent back something like "Can you believe it?"

  4. freakishlywrong

    Jesus, these childish assholes. What' s with the props? Supporters too stupid to understand the English? Just yesterday some twatwaffle in Wisco brought a pig to push his "no pork" bullshit. When the press caught up to him the damn thing was squealing and thrashing.. He had to run down an alley with the damn thing wriggling and screeching. (TMS)? And remember the fucking flip flops? Dumb, humorless assholes.

    1. Baconzgood

      I took a bath on hula-hoops and that ball with the handle on it that kids bounce around on.

  5. FNMA

    Damn, if only I could get one of those bozos to mention my book, which has been described as "delightfully goofy," "Elmore Leonard on laughing gas" and "consistently funny, profane and gratuitously outrageous."

    I'm such a whore…

      1. FNMA

        I guess it's all right to do so. If not, nice knowing you all.
        It's called Don't Be Cruel and yes, is on Amazon with an astonishingly low ranking.

    1. Isyaignert

      I saw your book on Amazon – there are two reviews and both are stellar! I'll have to buy your book. You should be very proud of yourself; I'm proud of you!! Congratulations!!!

      I've been helping my brother with his hilarious autobiography titled "Camping on Crutches." We're almost ready to publish on AMZN.

    1. Data Exactly

      Newt Gingrich would like to take a moment out of his campaign to tell you "Lean Six Sigma!" That is all.

  6. SayItWithWookies

    I hope this wasn't intentional product placement. I would never want my peace of mind in the integrity of our political system shattered, especially while I was enjoying this refreshing Snapple beverage.

    1. actor212

      Say, I bet that would go great with my roast beef sandwich, made with real Boar's Head beef!

      Boars Head, who uses only the finest ingredients available, just as we've they've done continuously for over a century. We They are proud to say that our their meats and cheeses contain no fillers, gluten, artificial colors, flavors or trans fat. We They wouldn't put anything in our their products that you wouldn't put on your own table.

      That's Boar's Head.

      1. Data Exactly

        When it comes to a boar's head, you start at the nose and work your way through. That's the only way to eat!

  7. Millennial Malaise

    This is kind of like when Teddy Roosevelt invented the teddy bear, except Teddy was one of the good Republicans and Mitt Rmoney is, even after 65 years on earth, still a puny, disposable tabula rasa, whom everyone pays attention to out of irony or apathy or both.

  8. elviouslyqueer

    Mitt, now would be a good time to state that Newt closely resembles PlayDoh, Ron Paul needs to impale himself on a Sit 'n Spin, and darling Creamcup is a spokesperson for Anti Monkey Butt. Kids' retailers everywhere will thank you.

  9. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    My grandma with dementia asked for a kindle for Christmas, so I bought her an etch-a-sketch and called it a kindle. She's been reading the shit out of that thing.

  10. Fare la Volpe

    I hope someone compares Gingrich to Star Wars figures soon. I've got some student loans to pay off.

  11. SorosBot

    And here I thought Romney's campaign was only good for the makers of flip-flops and Skynet.

  12. AbandonHope

    In deference to their change of manufacturing location in 2001, the company was going to change their name to "Shenzhen Arts" but it just didn't focus group well.

  13. Poindexter718

    I recommend an options play that matures around the GOP convention: Long Sept 1 OART calls struck at 12.50 financed by selling Sept. 1 KY Corp puts struck at 6.66. The trade is referred to on teh Street as a "Froth Spread":

  14. widestanceromance

    In contrast, Skittles prices are. . .ahh, nevermind. I got no humor in me these days.

  15. Isyaignert

    OMFG – My husband just watched Rachel Maddow's show and told me that Bain Capital (Willard's company) owns Etch-A-Sketch! Damn, the irony is getting really thick.

    1. James Michael Curley

      Bain Capital, along with Carlyle and Thomas Partners own Dunkin Donuts. Haven't had any of those sinkers for years. Got drummed off the force though.

  16. Come here a minute

    Crap, shoulda seen that coming. Now getting ready to buy stock in the next stupid thing Mitt says.

  17. BarackMyWorld

    Romney will fix the economy by having someone go out and say the name of a different company every day.

  18. Toomush_Infer

    I dunno, trading on Etch-A-Sketch might not be such a good idea – shouldn't your broker keep a record?…

  19. Toomush_Infer

    Also -if Mitt wins the nomination, will his new general election theme song be: "I'm All Shook Up"….?

  20. MaxUdargo

    I'm just glad we've all accepted The Market as the only legitimate arbiter of all values. Because The Market is so fucking rational, you see.

  21. ttommyunger

    I am frankly amazed that there is still a manufacturer; I haven't even SEEN one of those in forty years-you've got to be shitting me, Wonkette.

Comments are closed.