Everyone knows, correct, that Mitt Romney’s dad, Ol’ “Messican George” Romney, was born in Mexico because his own dad had fled the US so he could keep all his trillion wives, si, claro? Weeellll, there’s a last best straw currently being grasped at by those few (a third to half of all Republicans) who claim our own Bammerz is ineligible for the presidency he has held for the past three years. And that last best straw is one that seeks to forget a good solid century of settled case law and send back to China all those members of the Yellow Peril while they’re at it. Goodbye, heathen Chinee! Unfortunately, Mitt Romney is also a heathen Chinee. Friendly fire, what can you do?
US v. Wong Kim Ark was decided in 1898, and affirmed that anyone born on US soil was a US citizen. (That’s right; Chinese weren’t “citizens” until a hundred years ago.) This was noteworthy because it undermined the veeeery racist Chinese Exclusion Act and was one of the few times when the intersection of race, the law and the courts didn’t result in a lynching. Perhaps you studied Wong Kim Ark in graduate school? TRICK QUESTION. “College” is for snobs; “Graduate school” gets you sent straight to the camps!
Anyway, a whole pile of Bachmanns out in Californy is still suing to get Obammerz tossed in Gitmo, including a dude who is running for president hisself, as a write-in candidate — John Albert Dummett, Jr., you guys heard of him? Sure he’ll do great! Now, these good people say BO was born in Kenya (everyone knows that) but just in case he wasn’t, his dad was born in Kenya, so if we just forget Wong Kim Ark (ACTIVIST JUDGES!), etc., etc., and by the way Mitt Romney is a filthy foreign also too and thus i.e. therefore ergo must also go to Gitmo. Rick Santorum’s dad was born in Italy we heard? Let’s be sure and “toss” him too. 
That leaves Newt and Ron Paul, but Newt was adopted? Do we even know who Newt’s father is? And nobody likes Ron Paul.
That leaves only Orly Taitz, who will be your next president. Congratulations America! Good job! [Orange County Register]
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Wow, this is even funnier than his dog and the "piddler on the roof" story.
Someone just brought me a copy of the New Yorker with that story lovingly portrayed on the cover. It may be the best New Yorker cover since Harold Ross worked there.
I saw that and loved it!
Paid for by the "Santorum is a REAL US America Name, just like Smith and Taintz" Committee.
John Albert Dummett, Jr., you guys heard of him?
Endorsed by Red Foxx on Sanford and Son weekly, yes, I know him
Aka Lamont U. B. I. G Dummett.
Prove your grandmother was actually on the Mayflower or GTFO!
You got an old grandma there, son.
What if she was the "Mayflower Madam"?
Meta, dude.
Shh… you are getting John Edwards excited.
Y'all are just not getting it right. [spit!] When the Constitution requires that the president be a "natural born citizen," that's just a fancy way of sayin' "no niggers."
Sadly, true. All the rest would just be collateral damage, acceptable in combat.
Clearly an impostor, what with his spelling/pronouncing "Constitution" correctly.
But doesn't Mitt-bot need to qualify as a natural built citizen?
It gets complicated with the component outsourcing.
Yerrow Gull Fol Plesident! She rove you rong time!
Karl Rove is yellow girl?
He gots a purty mouf.
the popular euphemism is "foot massage"
I don't get it.
Romney's birth certificate was printed on an Etch-A-Sketch?
Ron Paul is automatically disqualified due to the "two first names restriction" in the Constitution.
Chester Arthur libel!
Or George Washington, if you're blah.
Thomas Jefferson, too. Abe Lincoln. Ulysses S Grant. Harry Truman. FDR. Grover Cleveland.
HOLY CRAP! We have a full blown constitutional crisis on our hands!
Ronald Reagan is exempt, of course.
William Harrison. Woodrow Wilson. Teddy and Franklin Roosevelt. It just goes on and on.
Still waiting for Trig's birth certificate. And Andrew Breitbart's death certificate.
Those morans will blow a gasket when they find out that humans evolved out of …….Oh my God…..AFRICA.
hahaha – evolved. MAH GRANPAPPY AIN'T NOT NO MONKEH!
And now you know the true reason why Darwin's theory is under attack.
So it's actualy Guante Romnirez, Ricardo Santos, and Tritón Gingrico?
Timeline: 2013
The United States of America is officially dissolved after slipping into chaos following the historic "United States vs. Barack Obama" ruling in the Supreme Court which determined that due to a grammatical error, no one was actually qualified to hold the office of the President.
Orthography is destiny!
Obama, Romney, and Santorum are all lawyers.
Obama, Romney, and Santorum all had fathers born in another country.
COINCIDENCE???
We must therefore bomb Iran, QED
And they all three wear ties, the most diabolical invention ever devised. I suspect a plot.
You know, I don't think the 'natural-born citizen' rule covers people born Caesarian. Likewise, 'on U.S. soil' precludes those giving birth in hospital beds. You have to get low-down, dirty and au naturel.
You make childbirth sound so…..sexy.
So by that logic, only Mexicans birthed to farm labor mothers qualify?
And Vietnamese rice pickers.
As long as it's in a 'Merkin rice paddy. Let's see–California and Arkansas have lots of rice, we've already elected candidates fro both those places. Well reagan shouldn't really count, he wasn't a native Californio, after all…
the founders of the republic were terrified by Macduff
He was a scary bastard, carrying those boughs from Birnam wood and all: the inventor of camo.
Being in Cali I shall not Dummett down…
Doom-may, doom-may…
The CA Republicans, on the other hand, are double Dummetting down…
Laguna Niguel attorney Orly Taitz, known nationwide for efforts to prove President Barack Obama is not a natural-born citizen, is leading the Republican field in the reelection bid of U.S. Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif., according to a poll by another Republican in the race.
Senator Feinstein, calm down and stop that hysterical laughter. At least compose yourself until you get to the office.
Wait until RMoney picks Rubio as his veep. Birfers heads will assplode.
Looks like we need to do a little Peking at somebody else's birth certificate, huh?
My theory is that newt was adopted from an Irish orphanage, because he looks like a fucking potato.
Oh, Newty. I'm sorry you gotta head like a potato. I really am.
I just wish he'd spend the rest of his life out in San Ber'dino.
Just 60 miles, 60 miles down the San Ber'dino Freeway.
That GOP bullshit makes you choke all day.
(That's right!)
Jeezus Fuck, its getting scary out there. The president is near, and the crazies go crazy.
By their reasoning, John McCain is the worst of the bunch, having been born in Panama.
Thank goodness we dodged that bullet. Think of the hundreds of frivolous law suits we would have had to endure if he had been elected. Wait. He's not black, is he? Never mind.
But, as a true American, he wants to bomb-bomb-bomb Iran, so he clearly is an NBC.
This makes no sense…the motherfucker is whiter than bleached Wonder Bread!
These lunatics will never give up their idiocy, will they?
It pays well.
Sambo's, the pancake hauz, coming back in 3, 2, 1…
Damn, I loved Sambos!
It is very racist of those who forced its closure.
From the OC, not making this up:
But is he a natural born creep? The mutant spelling tells me this alien must forfeit his inalienable rights as our nation already has a surfeit of regular creeps.
DAMN IT.
So that's who the Radiohead song is about.
Is it the Yiddish spelling?
The dude was teabagging over 30 years before it was cool.
So, yeah, clearly a NB creep.
So the skinny on this post is that two Wongs don't make a White, amirite?
>>>rimshot<<<
Remember to tip your waitress.
The attorney handling the suit is Gary Kreep, who earlier had a fallout with Laguna Niguel attorney and U.S. Senate candidate Orly Taitz
Orly usually gets along so well with creeps–surprising about Gary.
Newt was not adopted, he was adapted.
From what? We'll let you know when the DNA tests are back.
Also, The attorney handling the suit is Gary Kreep
Man, this shit just writes itself.
MITT ROMNEY FOR PRESIDENT CAMPAIGN OFFICE
OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE–THURSDAY, MARCH 22, 2012
CONTACT: Lloyd Braun, Campaign Headquarters, Saltpeter, Utah, (555) 555-1212.
Saltpeter, Utah (March 22, 2012)—Mitt Romney officially announced today, Thursday, March 22, 2012, that he was indeed born in American Samoa, a U.S. territory, to a Mormon father and an American Samoa Princess, Mary Beckford Samoa, while his father was doing missionary work in the U.S. territory. Since American Samoa is a U.S. territory, Romney is a naturalized U.S. citizen. "I love American Samoa, and all of the fine American Samoan residents, and I am proud of my great American Samoan heritage, and, unlike an Etch-a-Sketch, I will always have my American Samoan heritage as a part of me," Romney said during a press release at his Utah campaign headquarters in Saltpeter, Utah. "By the way, I'm also looking forward to the national release of 'The Hunger Games' tomorrow, Friday, March 23."
And I thought all those "birther" people were republicans just pickin' on O'bammer…
So according to our title, Romney is still unborn?
Of course he's unborn. He has a date of manufacture instead.
Kenyans, Panamanians, Mexicans… next thing you know, we'll elect a president whose first language is… I dunno, Dutch?
MARTIN VAN BUREN LIBELZ!!!! Just cause his wife was a Hoes, no doubt!!!
Wat komt dit land aan?
Santorum likes to brag about his grandfather coming over from Greece or wherever. Grandfather not citizen means Santorum's father is not a citizen. Santorum's father not a citizen means Santorum is not a citizen. Unless the DNA shows his mother was, um, impure and Ronald Reagan is his daddy.
Hello, Anonymous? I have a link I'd like to share with you: http://www.johndummett.us/
You know what to do.
He definitely wins "best dressed candidate" award for this outfit: http://www.johndummett.us/welcome.html
Gingrich was adopted? Is it too late for his parents to get their money back?
The attorney handling the suit is Gary Kreep, who earlier had a fallout with Laguna Niguel attorney and U.S. Senate candidate Orly Taitz – among the best known of lawyers pressing the case of Obama’s birthright.
Dummett & Kreep, indeed…
Romney was made in America. I've seen the warranty card. (Too late – its expired)
And Orly is a natural born citizen, because even as an embryo she wanted to be one?
It's no surprise that birthers have the same opinion of Mormons and blah people — "not one of us".
"The attorney handling the suit is Gary Kreep…"
Sounds like a GOP stalwart.
Jesus Christ on a fucking cracker, is this ignorant cunt still around? Enough!
I stopped reading the story at the point where it said his attorney is a Kreep.
"And nobody likes Ron Paul. "
Paul's dad was a hobbit, ergo ipso facto thereforandwhatsitwhosenotetc, Paul is ineligible.
But Orly Taitz is an anchor baby from Moldova!
(And, btw, I thought she was like 65. She's only 49?!?!?!?!?!)
Bullshit is a helluva drug.
Not only is Romney ineligible to run, but his hero stories about saving men under his command on the Swift boats is also a lie.
When you really get down to it, only Chief Crazy Horse is qualified to be President.
Having Oily Titz involved shows how important this matter is. She is never wrong.
Technically, a newt is hatched from an egg. So, constitutionally-wise speaking…
Ooh. Teacher!!! Newton Searles McPherson.
Orally Taint LOL
From page 236 of Nixonland:
The didn't trust Romney – a situation not helped by the mysterious pamphlets that started circulating: "Supreme Court Declares Romney Not Eligible Under The Constitution." (Romney had been born while his parents were in Mexico.)
That's George Romney, and this happened during the NH primaries in '68. Same as it ever was.
a whole pile of Bachmanns
I thought it was "gaggle" of Bachmanns and a "pile" of Gingrinches?
They got the Wong Kim!
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