wacky times man

Everyone Is Playing With Etch A Sketches, Because of Politics!

I... I don't get itRomney guy Eric Fehrnstrom sure made a funny when he went on television today and said of the general election, “It’s almost like an Etch A Sketch. You can kind of shake it up and restart all of over again.” What an IDIOT. Now everyone is making mean jokes about the Etch A Sketch children’s toy, on Twitter and TwitPixxx. Look at Rick Santorum in the car there, playing with his Mitt Romney gaffe toy, and not enjoying it at all. Ol’ Newt is playing with the drawing machine too! Oh, these wiseacres.

Check out Fathead here, who brings his sticker-clad Etch A Sketch on all campaign trips. How else is one supposed to kill time on the bus after exhausting the entire Internet’s worth of pornography?

This election is now Newt Gingrich’s to lose, again.

[Images via Matt Beynon and Ginger Gibson]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
What Others Are Reading

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


    1. actor212

      Ann Romney?

      I mean, it can't be Karen Santorum cuz she's flatter than a carpenter's dream, and I've never seen Callista's breasteses because I can't tear my eyes away from her polished alabaster complexion, which simply can't occur in nature.

      1. nonbeliever7

        I think…maybe…you mean Katherine. But both were spunky beauties in their time. Some other old person can insert the Lou Grant joke here.

    2. IceCreamEmpress

      Oo, I know! I know!

      The Republican Party. It's shaky as fuck and everyone in it is a knob.

    1. vtxmcrider

      If they are Republican stairs, they're going down. If they are Republican male congressional lips, they are also going down, usually in a men's room.

    1. OneYieldRegular

      He probably gave up mere moments later when the only thing he could draw was a flatline.

      Can you imagine Rick Perry with one of these things?

  1. OneYieldRegular

    Whatever else one might say about it, this is going to earn Etch-A-Sketch's PR manager one huge promotion.

      1. OneYieldRegular

        No, but morons will want their kids playing with a toy that challenges a moron, so: capitali$m.

  2. SorosBot

    Newt's campaign is like Legos – broken and scattered in pieces all over the floor, but they still be annoying if you step on them.

  3. dadanarchist

    Jebus H. Tebow! Put a warning label on that Newt "picture." Staring into his chins too long could result in death.

    1. Tilley

      Below the belt ain't lookin' too good, neither. Always suspected Newt was a grape-smuggler.

    2. sullivanst

      Even if you're not staring at the chins, it won't take long before you're blinded by the white.

  4. Mumbletypeg

    From urbandictionary:

    "Etch-a-sketch – When used as a verb, it can mean to rock one's head forcefully back and forth in an effort to erase a supremely unpleasant thought or memory.

    Today* we are all etch-a-sketchers.

    *Here on wonkette, with the goat rodeo of twatwafflery that's brought to our attention almost daily, might as well make that "Every day."

  5. Baconzgood

    I once saw an Art Show (Baltimore? Phili? Boston?) where the artist did really great pieces on etch a sketches (landscapes, still lifes, portraits etc). It took all my effort to keep from yanking them off the wall and shaking them.

    1. AbandonHope

      Okay, I get it now. The first three knobs are for the X, Y, and Z dimensions; the fourth knob is for the color; and the fifth knob is for time travel!

      1. bagofmice

        Technically, if you are plotting on a 2d surface you are going to need x and y for addressing, r, g, b, a for color and transparency.

        1. AbandonHope

          Not necessarily, if you use HSV color space instead, and assume that saturation and value are constant (i.e. it can only draw in bright rainbow colors, which all of us gay commit libruls love).

  6. Wonderthing

    Since the Republicans seem to want to compare themselves to sixties toys, perhaps that explains why they're all Vac-U-Formed.

  7. dubyatf

    Judging from his slack-jawed expression, he's REALLY concentrating on how to operate it. Seriously-that's the same look my dad used to have on his face when he was studying for a quantum mechanics exam (also, I saw the same look the summer I was 14 and he was reading a book called "Understanding Your Teenager.").

  8. BaldarTFlagass

    From the wiki: "Etch a Sketch was manufactured in Bryan, Ohio until the company moved the manufacturing plant to Shenzhen, China in 2001."


    1. hagajim

      This is Mittens' ploy to get them to reshore their jerbz….once he and his cronies cut the holy hell out of their workforce and leverage debt them into several bankruptcies.

  9. hagajim

    I figure I'll just shake the shit out of my computer tonight and all this Etch-A-Sketch stuff will be wiped clean.

  10. Andrew Drinker

    Newt Gingrich's speech: "Look here, I'm still running, even though I'm messing around with an Etch-A-Sketch! You can't make me drop out! Nah nah nah-nah nah! I'm going to play Jacks next followed by a rousing game of Drunken Yahtzee! with Callista later, all while gaining a few delegates here and there just to piss off that Santorum guy! Haha! He may have a successful marriage and many children with the same wife, but I can keep him from getting delegates! Neener neener Rick's a Weiner! Look, I can draw a pee-pee on my Etch-A-Sketch!"

  11. PeaceWithHonor

    It's like that old gag: Did I say that out loud? Only it happens whenever a Romney partisan opens his or her mouth. They should try doing the campaign in sign language. American sign language, of course.

  12. FakaktaSouth

    When anything you do ends in ceding the moral high ground to Newt Gingrich, you are so screwed. Wear it out Rick. Tell everybody. All this does is make it even MORE likely that would be Mitt voters here just stay home. Identity voters DO NOT like this, because even THEY know this makes THEM look stupid. (A time when having your base REALLY think "I'm you" works against them) EVEN THESE GUYS down here WILL NOT apologize for this. They LOVE standing FOR something – usually really stupid things against their own interests, but they LOVE soundbite presidents. They will sit it out.

  13. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    During what day of the Republican Convention due the put Gov. Romney in a giant machine and shake him to reset? 'Cause I would watch that.

    Although, I always assumed on Romney there was a little hole in him where you just shoved a paperclip in to reset.

  14. pinkocommi

    Of course, Santorum likes Etch-A-Sketch only because – as he is against masturbation – he has so much free time on his hands. And free hands.

  15. IceCreamEmpress

    If you make a Jiggle, it might make you giggle! If you vote for a Jiggle, it might make you barf!

  16. Beowoof

    That was the most irritating toy ever, and it is the perfect fit for the most irritating candidates ever.

  17. Antispandex

    As you may have guessed from my screen name, I have always been interested in the blend of philosophy and physics (hence my aversion to all things stretchy, as they may snap back), so I have been wondering about this thing we call “Newt”. Do we change Newt by observing Newt? Is Newt dependent upon an observer for his “Newtness”? Most importantly, would Newt cease to be Newt, if we ceased to observe Newt? I, for one, am willing to make the experiment. Wish me luck.

  18. bumfug

    Rick doesn't like the Etch-A-Sketch 'cause when you shake it, it's too much like *blush* oh, you know…

  19. rocktonsam

    "Bart, write the word Kent Brockman said on the etch-a-sketch."


Comments are closed.