THE MOST REGRETTABLE STATE OF ALL  12:25 pm March 21, 2012

Arizona Lawmaker Woman Wants Women To Watch An Abortion Before Having One

by Liz Colville

two thumbs up

An Arizona law-etching ladyperson (“lady”) by the name of Terri Proud, Representative from Tucson, has decided that there just isn’t enough going on in the House and Senate right now in Arizona, even though there is, so how about a law saying that women should not just have to see a black-and-white moving image of a living zygote prior to having an abortion, but should watch an actual abortion be performed before having one themselves? Yes. Finally.

A blog on the Arizona Republic website printed an e-mail that allegedly came from Terri Proud’s state e-mail account. (The post also lists a bunch of crazy laws currently on the floor in Arizona.) And here is this beauteous and apparently unedited e-mail:

Personally I’d like to make a law that mandates a woman watch an abortion being performed prior to having a “surgical procedure”. If it’s not a life it shouldn’t matter, if it doesn’t harm a woman then she shouldn’t care, and don’t we want more transparency and education in the medical profession anyway? We demand it everywhere else. Until the dead child can tell me that she/he does not feel any pain — I have no intentions of clearing the conscience of the living – I will be voting YES.

When asked to comment by the Huffington Post, a Proud spokesperson was told that Proud was too busy “performing legislative duties,” whatever that means.

BUT — when asked for comment by the Arizona Republic blogger, Proud responded with this amazing piece of English. Women, she said, should be educated on surgical procedures,

especially when a foreign object is extracting from a delicate organ.

Er. So a zygote is a :”foreign object”? CONCESSIONS! Reaching across the aisle!

Luckily (although, can’t even believe he has to BOTHER), Proud’s Democratic counterpart, Matt Heinz, did some research and found out that “there are laws in place to prevent spectators from watching surgery, which would include abortions.” So, that’s fine, Proud and her fanclub will just get to work creating a law that defines abortion as murder. If only that were guaranteed to always be a joke and funny, but it is not! [Arizona Republic via Huffington Post]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 189 comments }

nounverb911 March 21, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Why would anyone want someone to watch Brewer speak?

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Office pool on when her face flakes off?

kissawookiee March 21, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Same reason you want to watch a skunk try to get its head outta the peanut butter jar. Comedy gold.

BeccaGo March 21, 2012 at 12:28 pm

I think Terri Proud should watch a lobotomy.

LesBontemps March 21, 2012 at 12:40 pm

The watching is supposed to be before the procedure

Barb March 21, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Arizona, it's not the heat, it's the stupidity.

SorosBot March 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm

But it's a dry moron!

JustPixelz March 21, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Careful what you say about your neighbors to the west. Someday you may need to borrow a cup of crazy and they won't be in a mood to share.

Do Mexicans (New or otherwise) drive up to the Arizona border and just watch? Or is Jerry Springer still more entertaining for the crazy aficionados of the southwest.

What was wrong with just 47 states?

Nostrildamus March 21, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Also, they must run naked through a line of GOP lawmakers holding wooden paddles.

Andrew Drinker March 21, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Ah, college.

Limeylizzie March 21, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Ummm , actually I would offer to do that, taking one for the team, if they could wear uniforms.

prommie March 21, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Air Marshall Goering's uniforms were the most ridiculously ornate!

Limeylizzie March 21, 2012 at 12:42 pm

He was the Rehnquist of the Nazi Party.

prommie March 21, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Rehnquist was the Rehnquist of the Nazi Party, I would have thought?

Nostrildamus March 21, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Lizzie, I'm sure many in the GOP would be up for that, given your taste in uniforms.

Thanks for bringing the country together!

starfanglednut March 21, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Or tool belts. Tool belts are HAWT.

Limeylizzie March 21, 2012 at 6:21 pm

They don't do it for me, I am strictly a uniformaphile.

starfanglednut March 21, 2012 at 8:21 pm

Well, we can share the cable boy then.

DaRooster March 21, 2012 at 12:30 pm

So the Abortionplex is getting a Cineplex!!

Barb March 21, 2012 at 12:31 pm

I just yodeled Diet Pepsi out of my nose, thanks!

DaRooster March 21, 2012 at 12:32 pm

No popcorn?

Man0nTheStreet March 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm

that's *not* popcorn….

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Please. That's "abortion corn", flung out of its hot kernel

Ruhe March 21, 2012 at 12:39 pm

"Abortion corn" at first made me think of "abortion porn" which is what this is really all about for coarse dimwits like this "lady".

freakishlywrong March 21, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Jeeze, Barb, coffee, Gatorade and now Pepsi? Get to the booze, girl!

Barb March 21, 2012 at 12:42 pm

I can't drink right now. My ovaries have gone into shock and the doctor is talking about taking them out now. I have a high fever and I'm banging my head on the desk to try to feel something. Can you tell that I am edgy, LOL?

freakishlywrong March 21, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Awww..shit, I didn't know. I'm sorry honey. Where's that husband of yours to take care of you?

AbandonHope March 21, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Oh dear… I hope you get better soon!

Did your ovaries go into shock from seeing that shirtless Santorum picture? Because I'm pretty sure it would do that to me, if I had them.

nounverb911 March 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm

In 3D IMAX?

starfanglednut March 21, 2012 at 3:55 pm

3D glasses are available in the lobby.

outragedcitizen March 21, 2012 at 12:31 pm

God, at one time, I wanted to live in Arizona. Now, I just wish it would go away.

GunToting[Redacted] March 21, 2012 at 12:55 pm

S'not so bad. Copious amounts of alcohol help.

sullivanst March 21, 2012 at 2:05 pm

I thought the copious amounts of alcohol imbibed in the Governor's Mansion were part of the problem…

Isn't it ironic that she's called Brewer when she's more interested in the output of distilleries?

Toomush_Infer March 21, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Co…peee…ous…..

HarryButtle March 21, 2012 at 1:13 pm

It's truly a beautiful place to live…if you look past the people.

sullivanst March 21, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Both figuratively and literally, in the case of the governor.

GOPCrusher March 21, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I used to travel there in the late 70's/early 80's. Always thought about wanting to go back. When they drug their heels at observing Martin Luther King Jr. Day, I decided that they would no longer get anymore of my sweet, sweet, vacation caysh.

kissawookiee March 21, 2012 at 4:45 pm

I do live here and I still want it to go away.

Fukui-sanYesOta March 21, 2012 at 12:31 pm

I think AZ lawmakers should be forced to watch an hour long video of facepalms interspersed with scenes of spider monkeys whacking off before they're allowed to vote on legislation.

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 12:31 pm

What if they could watch sex before having it?

Cuz that would be cool.

nounverb911 March 21, 2012 at 12:36 pm

The Santorums?

DaRooster March 21, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Who doesn't?

Native_of_SL_UT March 21, 2012 at 1:12 pm

That should be part of the sex eduction program so the kiddies can see the destructive nature of sex before they do it themselves.

SorosBot March 21, 2012 at 12:32 pm

To be fully informed, should a pregnant woman who wants to keep the fetus have to spend a week taking care of a brood of three or four screeching little brats?

DaRooster March 21, 2012 at 12:34 pm

That's birth control!

gullywompr March 21, 2012 at 12:45 pm

No, but Terri Proud should.

sewollef March 21, 2012 at 1:18 pm

"…a brood of three or four screeching little brats."

I'm sure there's more republicans in the Arizona legislature than 3 or 4, SB.

By the way, is that the right collective noun for a group of republicans — a brood?

Swampgas_Man March 21, 2012 at 4:26 pm

I think what you mean is an ABORTION of Republicans.

gullywompr March 21, 2012 at 12:32 pm

"Best performance by a Foreign Object goes to…. ZYGOTE!!"

sati_demise March 21, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Lets hope the fine citizens of Tucson perform an abortion on this lawmaker the next election.

GunToting[Redacted] March 21, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Tucson is one of the few reliably reddish cities in the state. We can hope.

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Actually, I forsee many great uses for this kind of thinking.

For example, say you're having a massive heart attack. The hospital can't admit you until you've watched open heart surgery, to make sure you change your life style.

Ruhe March 21, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Or…let's say your contemplating sending your armed forces, unprovoked, into another nation. Shouldn't you have to watch videos of children being blown to bits by bombs and land-mines before you go ahead and commit.

GunToting[Redacted] March 21, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Presupposes that the 101st Chairborn don't fap to this already.

Not_So_Much March 21, 2012 at 12:33 pm

"especially when a foreign object is extracting from a delicate organ"

Is she talking about her fascination with her own poo? Playtime with her hairbrush?

What is it they think they win if they are the most extreme asshole on record?

sullivanst March 21, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Reelection, of course.

You can fool some of the people all of the time. Turns out, that's a big chunk of Arizonans.

Gratuitous World March 21, 2012 at 12:33 pm

I believe this means cops can just pull over pregnant, or suspected pregnant women + make them watch a live abortion. for education

GOPCrusher March 21, 2012 at 1:47 pm

While they are at it, they can check their immigration status!

Dashboard Buddha March 21, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Ma'am…I'm pulling you over for being Pregnant on a Sunny Day.

Baconzgood March 21, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Free movies at the Abortion plex! This place is getting better and better. I can't wait till they finish the fetus ice rink.

DaRooster March 21, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Keep your skates sharp.

sullivanst March 21, 2012 at 1:13 pm

I'm mostly looking forward to the cardiac bloodshakes.

Andrew Drinker March 21, 2012 at 12:34 pm

NEW RULE: You must watch naked gay buttsex before getting your prescription of Viagra refilled.

SorosBot March 21, 2012 at 12:36 pm

But that would mean most of the Republican politicians wouldn't need their Viagra anymore.

starfanglednut March 21, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Where do I sign up?

ifthethunderdontgetya March 21, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Stupid and Proud.
~

sewollef March 21, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Proud comes before a fall, I believe.

SorosBot March 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm

And fuck, this so fucking maddening. This sentence is so absolutely awful – "Until the dead child can tell me that she/he does not feel any pain" Fuck you dipshit. There is no dead child in an abortion; it is a fetus, not a fucking child; it's a little ball of cells and tissue. And no it doesn't feel pain, for the exact same reason it can't tell you that –
BECAUSE IT DOESN'T HAVE A BRAIN, YOU MORON, IT IS INCAPABLE OF FEELING OR SENSING ANYTHING.

Now go fuck yourself and stop trying to tell other women what to do with their own bodies, you vile evil piece of shit.

Limeylizzie March 21, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Oh SorosBot,you are the man.

anniegetyerfun March 21, 2012 at 12:38 pm

These are the same people who will tell you that "lower" animals don't have feelings or feel pain.

SorosBot March 21, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Right, and for the same reason they think brainless embryos can still feel pain; because of the "soul". Well if we're gonna bring fantasy concepts into this, then maybe we should make sure abortion is legal because the birth of unwanted babies makes the unicorns and fairies cry.

prommie March 21, 2012 at 12:41 pm

I hear dead fetuses!

freakishlywrong March 21, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Small Gubbmint in AZ is now going to be in the O.R.

Baconzgood March 21, 2012 at 12:44 pm

(devil's advocate)

She doesn't have a brain yet she is capable of speaking.

Callyson March 21, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Aaaand I won't need to leave a comment on this thread, other than to send SorosBot a huge hug for this gem…

DetectiveGrey March 21, 2012 at 1:19 pm

My librul snob high school education always taught me that in order to be considered 'alive', a carbon-based being has to take in fuel and export waste, respire in some fashion, and respond to stimulus. I'm unsure of where a fetus falls on this spectrum, or if it's even a correct way of thinking.

This shit is why I studied machines in college instead. A lot easier to understand.

dinkybossetti March 21, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Another reason it wouldn't be able to tell her it doesn't feel pain: dead children do not speak.

Redhead March 21, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Marry me. (We can make this twatwaffle watch the abortions!)

SorosBot March 21, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Thanks, but I'm already spoken for!

starfanglednut March 21, 2012 at 3:59 pm

You are so sweet.

Steverino247 March 21, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Dead zygotes tell no tales!

Is it "Talk Like a Pirate Abortionist Day?"

(And good for you, SB! Love the comment.)

dubyatf March 21, 2012 at 11:07 pm

I KNOW, Soros. That so-called sentence really abortioned up my brain. Not only did I realize within the first 30 minutes of reading it that A-Hah! Dead kids can't speak cause they're dead, you see, I also realized I would love to kick this idiotic b*tch in both ovaries at the same time.
Furthermore! Has she ever given birth to anything besides porny legislation? 'Cause I have, and I have something to say about my uterus and all uteri in general: they are NOT delicate. In fact I'm pretty sure my uterus could take her with one Fallopian tube tied behind its back.
The nimrods get nimroddier.. Is there no zenith? Sheesh and crikey.

dubyatf March 21, 2012 at 11:18 pm

And one more thing.
Watching an actual abortion procedure is supposed to be some sort of dramatic deterrent mechanism, I guess, but it would have about the same impact as observing a pelvic exam, which I'm supposing is going to totally miss the desired after grossout factor. Unless you're a 2.5 year old boy and you're in the room with your mom when she's having her annual exam because your father works for the Department of the Interior and in order to qualify for per diem pay your father gets relocated every 9 months so your mom doesn't know anyone who can babysit you and must therefore take you with her. Now, I grant THAT could leave a scar. (Seriously, I didn't know a soul, and who knew he'd be paying attention?)

bumfug March 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm

If they really wanted to curb abortions they'd make 'em watch Michael Bay movies. Women will do anything to get out of that.

freakishlywrong March 21, 2012 at 12:36 pm

The fact that this is a "woman" is highly suspicious. Really, bitches, no matter how much you roll over for them, they'll never accept you.

MissTaken March 21, 2012 at 12:36 pm

"if it doesn’t harm a woman then she shouldn’t care, and don’t we want more transparency and education in the medical profession anyway? We demand it everywhere else"

Um, no. I didn't get to watch a video when I had a cyst removed from my wrist. I didn't realize I should have demanded it.

prommie March 21, 2012 at 12:41 pm

But that cyst was alive! It was a life! Just like the millions of poor, defenseless, innocent cancers plucked from their hosts every year. Won't someone think of all those living things?

Dashboard Buddha March 21, 2012 at 12:43 pm

I still pine for my appendix.

Steverino247 March 21, 2012 at 7:26 pm

I pine for the fjords.

Dashboard Buddha March 21, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Oh man…those are a bitch to have removed.—

GunToting[Redacted] March 21, 2012 at 12:59 pm

I hope you keep your cyst in a jar in a place of honor like I do.

proudgrampa March 21, 2012 at 1:07 pm

I had one removed from my shoulder. The cool thing is, my doctor let me have a couple of martinis before he started.

He was the best doctor I ever had. They don't teach martini-drinking in med school anymore.

Man0nTheStreet March 21, 2012 at 12:36 pm

This Terri Proud just has some "home videos" she wants to get on the market…

freakishlywrong March 21, 2012 at 12:38 pm

But, but conservative media said the "war on women" is a hoax perpetuated by the "Democrat" party!

Sassomatic March 21, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Or or or, you could have ALL pregnant women watch 1) an abortion and 2) childbirth, then let them choose. I wonder how that would turn out.

valgal2342 March 21, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Good one

CivicHoliday March 21, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Indeed! And none of this medicated I'm-half-asleep-while-pushing bullshit, we need some all-natural full-bush screaming blood and shit smeared home birth action.

SorosBot March 21, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Either that or a full-fledged C-section, with full close-up on all the gore.

AnAmericanInTO March 21, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Shit, if I watched a C-Section before I had one, I'd be the only woman around with a 7 year old in-utero.

sullivanst March 21, 2012 at 2:08 pm

If every woman was made to watch, you'd just be one of many…

Sassomatic March 21, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Yeah, people tend to know about the blood and screaming, but it's the shitting they don't know about.

Limeylizzie March 21, 2012 at 12:39 pm

They should be made to watch my ex trying to perform cunnilingus and cutting to my bored expression.

BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Hence the term "ex"?

ttommyunger March 21, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Hee, hee!

freakishlywrong March 21, 2012 at 12:46 pm

I doubt Tammy, or any of them, knows what this "cunnilingus" thing is, Lizzie.

Maman March 21, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Sure they do… they think that Lizzie's ex is clever at speaking multiple languages

Dashboard Buddha March 21, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Coffee on screen now…thank you.

Aside…really? Cunni is not that hard as long as the practitioner is earnest and willing to learn.

Limeylizzie March 21, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Therein lies the rub.

chicken_thief March 21, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Or lack thereof, as the case may be…

SorosBot March 21, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Yeah, it's both simple and very fun to do. What's wrong with a guy if he's not a full, eager performer?

Dashboard Buddha March 21, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Back when I was in property maintenance, I cleaned offices with this dude named Brazzil. He had this really bizarre aversion to cunnilingus. So, of course, since we had lots of drive time between job sites, I would tell him how great it was at every chance I got. It passed the time.

Swampgas_Man March 21, 2012 at 4:31 pm

WHY would that topic of conversation even come up?

Oblios_Cap March 21, 2012 at 12:39 pm

This creates a problem for the Frothy Pope. A movie with pregnant women, Vaginas, and insertion and it's a snuff film to boot! When will Santorum denounce this decadent practice? He's already come out against anyone's right to watch p0rn.

prommie March 21, 2012 at 12:39 pm

I am proposing that everyone must watch the "pink slime" video before ordering chicken mcnuggets.

RadioStalingrad March 21, 2012 at 12:40 pm

And why stop there? What about aprés dilatation and curettage? They should have to eat their own fetus and personal pan placenta's.

SayItWithWookies March 21, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Maybe Arizona legislators should've been forced to watch a person die for lack of a kidney transplant before they cut the state's Medicaid and Medicare eligibility.

Baconzgood March 21, 2012 at 12:41 pm

"Until the dead child can tell me that she/he does not feel any pain"

Whaaaaaaa?!?!?!

Dashboard Buddha March 21, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Wait…if a woman is forced to watch a movie about an abortion, doesn't that mean that an abortion must first be performed? And, if we're looking at the immutability of the soul, wouldn't such a video set on endless loop somehow bring pain to the soul of the aborted child?

Why does this woman hate souls?

sewollef March 21, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Be cool, DB… they weren't American souls, they were firrin, so it's OK.

BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 12:43 pm

We could save a WHOLE FUCKING BUNCH of money on healthcare costs if we made everyone watch someone get a procedure done before they got one for themselves. Colonoscopy, anyone? Varicose vein removal? Hemorrhoidectomy? Eeeewwwww.

proudgrampa March 21, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Actually, I enjoyed my colonoscopy. The anesthesia was AWESOME.

BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Yeah, but you probably didn't have to watch.

proudgrampa March 21, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Well, that's true. But I did get a whole set of cool pictures afterwards.

Wanna see?

BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 1:28 pm

You got them up on your Photobucket or Flickr account?

GOPCrusher March 21, 2012 at 1:52 pm

The saddest part of this is that there probably a whole group of fucknuts that get their rocks off while looking at colonoscopy pictures.

Dashboard Buddha March 21, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Hell…make 'em watch a video of Limbaugh's Pilonidal Cyst removal.

Callyson March 21, 2012 at 12:44 pm

My delicate organ is getting sick and tired of all the attention it has been getting from the Republicans lately. My delicate organ wants to tell them all to fuck off and mind their own business.

ttommyunger March 21, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Arizona: still looking for a few good zygotes…..The Few, the Proud, the Fucked in the Head!

Maman March 21, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Which are the hearty organs? And can we watch cancer removal too?

JustPixelz March 21, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I think the Repubicans who are hysterical about "Obamacare", should watch a woman die of breast cancer because she couldn't get affordable health insurance.

edgydrifter March 21, 2012 at 12:47 pm

If you replaced a howler monkey's skin with beef jerky and fed it nothing but vodka and corn syrup for six months, you'd have a hard time telling it apart from Gov. Brewer.

sewollef March 21, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Crap. My head exploded with that image…

starfanglednut March 21, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Simply awesome.

Baconzgood March 21, 2012 at 12:47 pm
GOPCrusher March 21, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Idaho actually, but yeah, couldn't believe when I heard that this guy was saying that women were claiming to be raped just so they could get an abortion. If Chuck Winder gets a single female vote in the next election, I will be shocked.

Dashboard Buddha March 21, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Prepare to be shocked then.

Baconzgood March 21, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Idaho, Iowa…..I've been to both at one point or another. They are the same.

freakishlywrong March 21, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Has Romney tapped her for VP yet?

chicken_thief March 21, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Mittens may be tapping Jeb thanks to the bold endorsement. He may even ask him to be Veep., too. Also.

dittoBot3000 March 21, 2012 at 12:49 pm

The next logical step is for a woman getting an abortion to actually perform an abortion first.

sullivanst March 21, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Isn't the end-game to have the woman performing the abortion on herself, just like in the pre-Roe days they so crave?

dittoBot3000 March 21, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Good point. Though, the ultimate goal is for woman to have sechs only with their Church-approved spouse, missionary, on a bed, for procreation, no lube, no lighting, awkwardly, eyes clothes, head bent in prayer, thinking of Ronald Reagan or Jeebus, waiting for it to end so they can do the laundry.

sullivanst March 21, 2012 at 2:06 pm

"Church approved"? But what about atheists and infidels?

Oh, wait, that's not a bug, it's a feature. Silly me!

Jukesgrrl March 21, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Most of these women are married to closeted gay men, so they don't really have to worry about doing the deed all that often.

Toomush_Infer March 21, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Been there….

Trannysurprise March 21, 2012 at 12:49 pm

But what if the women have already seen "The Undefeated"? Oh wait, none of them have seen that. NEVERMIND.

Dashboard Buddha March 21, 2012 at 12:51 pm

I guess we should add abortions to sausage and laws.

BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 12:51 pm

If a woman has to watch another abortion prior to her having her own abortion, what about the woman who is having the abortion that she is watching? Did watching a more-previous abortion not deter her?

Toomush_Infer March 21, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Yeah, I'm wondering where are all these women who can afford to have abortions just so these other women can watch them – they aren't cheap, you know…

WiscDad March 21, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Would that be called perpetual abortion?

gurukalehuru March 21, 2012 at 3:27 pm

She was a Moebius Stripper in a perpetual abortion machine
She was a Moebius Stripper in a perpetual abortion machine
Every time she got an abortion
there was one that she'd already seen

LettucePrey March 21, 2012 at 12:56 pm

You know, every morning I turn to Wonkette and see another abortion-related laff riot, and I think "Haha, those brilliant satirists, what story have they made up today?" only to find out that no, this shit is actually going down in the U.S.A. We are so fucked.

Baconzgood March 21, 2012 at 12:56 pm

I'm so glad I'm a man. A man with a cock. Those Vee Jay-Jays seem to be some sort of fantastic legal hassle.

HarryButtle March 21, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Abortion porn. Jeezus. I'm trying to raise an 11-year-old girl in Arizona…I wonder what we can expect for her in 5 years.

I have to move, don't I?

Toomush_Infer March 21, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Or she has to start Acting School early…

gurukalehuru March 21, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Don't move to South Carolina. Or Idaho. Or Oklahoma. Or Florida. Or Texas. Or Alaska. The list goes on.

Jukesgrrl March 21, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Just move to the CITIES of Phoenix or Tucson. Both have Democratic mayors. This insanity is brought to you from the endless suburbs of Maricopa Co., populated by people who think they're living in Utah. Your daughter can even get her higher education in Arizona. I know plenty of alums of the U of A and Northern Arizona U. who are perfectly normal. Productive citizens with senses of humor, even.

FNMA March 21, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Someone has to do this, so I guess it's my turn…
I find this difficult to masterbate to.

Terry March 21, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Someone needs to add an amendment to that bill requiring that all men seeking a vasectomy or a prescription for boner medicine have to watch either or both a vasectomy being performed or prostrate surgery. Something invasive that involved bringing a blade near a man's junk.

See how fast the men will kill that bill.

CivicHoliday March 21, 2012 at 1:05 pm

I'll agree to watch an abortion when you agree to watch a slow-mo video of a middle-aged man with prostate troubles trying to pass a pea-sized kidney stone.

hagajim March 21, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Two things….1. wouldn't an abortion have to be performed to force people to watch an abortion being performed…., and 2. HIPPA

sullivanst March 21, 2012 at 1:24 pm

You sound like you're assuming the intent wasn't to outlaw all abortions…

Redhead March 21, 2012 at 1:40 pm

HIPPA only applies to PEOPLE. These are WIMMINZ.

Isyaignert March 21, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Oh there you go again, being all logical 'n' law-abiding 'n' stuff.

hagajim March 21, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Hell, they killed the one where they had to get a prostate exam if they wanted the boner meds….took about 1/2 a second.

Sue4466 March 21, 2012 at 1:16 pm

How pro-abortion of her to want there to be abortions to watch.

prommie March 21, 2012 at 1:17 pm

They could just have women watch a session of the Arizona Legislature, thats a public abortion.

ElPinche March 21, 2012 at 1:31 pm

I'm ok with it as long the conservative chickenhawks serve a mandatory year on the frontline in whatever war they put us in. The unilateralists get no flack jackets.

Gnatsum March 21, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Personally I’d like to make a law that mandates a woman watch a severely sleep deprived single mom walking around in circles in her shabby apartment with a screaming newborn in the middle of the night before that woman is allowed to have a "blessed event" If it’s not a life it shouldn’t matter, if it doesn’t harm a woman then she shouldn’t care, and don’t we want more transparency and education in the medical profession anyway? We demand it everywhere else. Until the abused and neglected unwanted child can tell me that she/he does not feel any pain — I have no intentions of clearing the conscience of the living – I will be voting SHUT UP OLD WHITE MAN AND KEEP YOUR LAWS OFF MY BODY.

Limeylizzie March 21, 2012 at 8:42 pm

Excellent comment and adorable puppy FTW.

NorthStarSpanx March 21, 2012 at 1:54 pm

So, if you become a disgruntled staffer of Representative Proud (R-Tucson,) does that mean you'll always be a Proud staffer, even when you are not?

BTWBFDIMHO March 21, 2012 at 1:56 pm

My new proposal: before voting for a Republican you'd have to live with one of them for a week. The end.

Sassomatic March 21, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Remember, sleep with your ass to the wall and don't drop the soap.

owhatever March 21, 2012 at 2:09 pm

It's a great day for foreign objects in Arizona.

Isyaignert March 21, 2012 at 2:10 pm

WTF?!? I had knee surgery and was asked if I wanted to watch – I said, "No thanks." These people who are all up in other people's sex lives really need to smoke a joint and get laid or something.

Nesnora March 21, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Sure, as long as Terri Proud is forced to watch a video showing the way women had to do it BEFORE it was legal and a professional medical procedure. You know, with metal hangers and swamp voodoo and a wooden "biting stick" and endless screaming. To make it even more educational, lets cast in a 10 year old rape victim. For perspective.

MegPasadena March 21, 2012 at 2:17 pm

What about my privacy and my right of not having people watch my abortion procedure?

Jukesgrrl March 21, 2012 at 10:20 pm

What is this word "privacy"? It's not in the Conservapedia's dictionary. The video can be shot from a drone. You won't even know it's happening.

Isyaignert March 21, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Remember those frozen embryo "snowflake babies" that the GeeDub administration fawned over and had people adopt in an effort to end stem cell research (those fukkers).

Bill Mahar said, "You can't put a real baby the freezer like you can a "snowflake" baby, ergo, the "snowflake" baby ain't a real baby.

Carrabuda March 21, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Um, duh, GOP. The reason we want to evict them is obvious: they're behind on the rent. How many months will the government force us to lodge these unemployed bums?

Schmegeg March 21, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Just don't make me watch Marathon Man before going to the dentist.

smitallica March 21, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Gigli?

Steverino247 March 21, 2012 at 7:31 pm

The most irritating part of these stories is knowing that the true reason behind the fight against universal health care in this country is the desire to make abortions illegal again. If abortion and birth control were forbidden under any circumstances, we might be able to get everything else treated. I'm really fed up with the right's obsession with female reproduction (or the lack thereof) getting in the way of having affordable health care for everybody.

Jukesgrrl March 21, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Good point.

DaddyDearest March 21, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Hands down, funniest comments of any blog, ever! Thanks all!

Limeylizzie March 21, 2012 at 8:44 pm

New and very intuitive, welcome DaddyDearest.

velma__dinkley March 21, 2012 at 10:51 pm

So then pregnant women will need to watch a birth with perineal lacerations, labial lacerations, and vaginal lacerations before deciding to proceed, right?

Dashboard Buddha March 21, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Two working class dudes…driving around between jobsites all night…and NOT talking about sex?—

Barb March 21, 2012 at 5:18 pm

LOL! Abandon, that's not the reason. (shhhh, it's really the reason)

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