TODAY IN CANADA  11:24 am March 21, 2012

Campaign Bus Boob Wheels Delight Canadian Countryside

by Jim Newell

You pervertsIt’s your Wonkette Wednesday Canadian Politics Roundup! Let’s see, what’s going on up there… ahh, this lady, Danielle Smith of Alberta’s “Wildrose” party, appears to have wheels for boobs as her bus art, instead of the typical flapjack-on-the-head graphic. “We’re getting it adjusted right now since it will be a distraction throughout the campaign,” a party spokesperson reassures. Endless distraction? We doubt the media would ever get distracted by something like this.

Shannon Stubbs, the party spokesperson, has had a good larf or two over the press attention, telling the National Post, “We do think that if this is the absolute worst thing to go wrong in the campaign, then that’s not too bad… We’ve been having a bit of laugh because of the attention it’s been getting. Somebody suggested we submit a picture into Leno or Letterman to get international attention, as well as the national coverage we’ve been getting.”

What fun! Letterman! Everyone’s having so much fun. Yes, everyone…

“These stories continue to reinforce stereotypes about women… they tend to focus on women’s’ bodies instead of focusing on what women bring to the table in terms of their competencies,” said Clare Beckton, executive director of Carleton University’s Centre for Women in Politics and Public Leadership in Ottawa. [...]

“The media itself is as much responsible for this kind of behaviour — the media continues to write stories and support stories of this kind,” Beckton said.

The media?? Crap, she’s talking about us — EVERYBODY SCRAM–

[National Post via Michael Roston]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 131 comments }

nounverb911 March 21, 2012 at 11:26 am

Are the boobs from Chik-fil-A?

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 11:27 am

I doubt it. They look too tender.

Callyson March 21, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Depends on how many hormones were injected into them.

Lascauxcaveman March 21, 2012 at 1:04 pm

They're from Canadian Tire, eh?

Barb March 21, 2012 at 11:26 am

She's got a nice set of lugs!

memzilla March 21, 2012 at 11:36 am

Finished changing the tire? Remember to take the jack off.

Barb March 21, 2012 at 11:38 am

How can you tell if you need to change the tire? Would she be flat chested?
Morning Mem!

memzilla March 21, 2012 at 11:41 am

I like how you cleverly use "morning coffee" to mean "fresh mimosa."

Baconzgood March 21, 2012 at 11:41 am

That's 2! You're on a roll.

Barb March 21, 2012 at 11:43 am

Now I'm craving Baconz on a roll. I'll give you $500.00 to bring me one, please.

Baconzgood March 21, 2012 at 11:45 am

Try bacon on a croissant. Man oh man did that work for me

WhatTheHeck March 21, 2012 at 11:42 am

Because of the sheer size of her rims, her wheels need to be balanced and rotated periodically.

Smitros March 21, 2012 at 3:15 pm

And in Alberta it's going to be cold, too, with predictable results.

skoalrebel March 21, 2012 at 11:27 am

I'd hit it. [spit] Is that the famous Bang Bus?

teebob2000 March 21, 2012 at 11:50 am

I dunno, but I wouldn't mind giving her whitewalls, if you know what I mean…

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 11:27 am

How come she's only wearing one pastie?

Isyaignert March 21, 2012 at 11:31 am

Now that's funny!!! You're a good observer.

BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 11:48 am

I think the one on the right is an "innie" and the one on the left is an "outie." I think inverted nipples are kind of rare. Especially in chrome.

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 11:57 am

To get her nipples hard, you need a gas station air pump.

Callyson March 21, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Pasties are surprisingly tricky to work with.
Not that *I* would know, of course…

themcwow March 21, 2012 at 12:38 pm

She threw it under the bus.

FNMA March 21, 2012 at 11:27 am

I'd hit that bus.
Wait a minute…

HuddledMass March 21, 2012 at 11:29 am

Oh wow. Snarking this is like shooting fish in a barrel. Or boobs on a bus….

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 11:30 am

We're all boobies on this bus.

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 11:29 am

Danielle Smith of Alberta’s “Wildrose” party

Really? They named their party after a bum wine?

Oh Canada! Don't ever change…

Chichikovovich March 21, 2012 at 11:33 am

Alberta is the "Wild Rose Province". Just like Manitoba is the "Thunderbird" province and Nunavit is the "Antifreeze Territory".

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 11:34 am

Does that make BC the Sterno Province?

Chichikovovich March 21, 2012 at 11:49 am

Pretty good for a Yank!
[Plus New Brunswick is the "Rotgut Distilled in the Garage from 8-pound Sacks of Fermented McCain French Fries Province" and Québec is "La Provence de: Quelle sorte? Je m'en câlisse. Moé, J'en ai besoin, là."]

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 11:58 am

Which would leave the Maritimes and….

…wait for it….

Ripple

Biff March 21, 2012 at 12:21 pm

BC is more into the bud. They grow some mean-assed shit in the Okanogan Valley.

Lascauxcaveman March 21, 2012 at 1:09 pm

They also have a pretty decent microbrew industry, so when they get around to legalizing the bud, you're gonna see some pretty amazing synergy when the two industries start to co-mingle.

anniegetyerfun March 21, 2012 at 11:45 am

Saskatchewan – The Starlight Tours Province.

freakishlywrong March 21, 2012 at 11:29 am

Well, she's gotten her international media. Right here on the Wonkett.

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 11:47 am

I'm sure she'd prefer a different kind of exposure.

I know I would.

freakishlywrong March 21, 2012 at 11:55 am

It appears she's getting just the right kind..

Baconzgood March 21, 2012 at 11:29 am

NEEDZ MOAR HOCKEY SCOREZ!!!!

freakishlywrong March 21, 2012 at 11:30 am

Oh, and Clare is so fucking uptight you couldn't drag a needle out of her sphincter with a tractor. Lighten up! At least y'all can still take the pill.

LesBontemps March 21, 2012 at 11:30 am

Gives new meaning to "pneumatic." Or maybe the same meaning.

prommie March 21, 2012 at 11:34 am

But there is always a catch.

CivicHoliday March 21, 2012 at 11:30 am

In other news of Canuckistan, "Tory MP Stephen Woodworth wants Parliament to create a committee of politicians whose task it will be to review a law that stops short of defining unborn children as “human beings.” The war on Uteri has spread to the north!

Lascauxcaveman March 21, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Actually, they've always had their religious right up there, only with Canada's smaller population, it's only 1/10 the size of ours, and more polite.

Failed_2_Menace March 21, 2012 at 11:30 am

Clare Beckton clearly does not comprehend that taking note of a woman whose rack spins at 65 MPH/105 KPH (metric system sweater puppies!) is a legitimate sign of respect.

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 11:31 am

And the wheels on the boobs go round and round, round and round…

memzilla March 21, 2012 at 11:31 am

I never tire of boobs.

anniegetyerfun March 21, 2012 at 11:46 am

Oh, fucking well played. Christ. I tip my hat to you. Well, I'm not dressed yet, so I guess I sort of just flashed the screen.

SorosBot March 21, 2012 at 11:31 am

The boobs on the bus go 'round and 'round…

Wait a second, that's not right.

The boobs on the bus bounce up and down,
Up and down, up and down.
The boobs on the bus bounce up and down,
All day long.

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 11:32 am

HA! Beat you to it!

Barb March 21, 2012 at 11:49 am

Soros, kinda makes you wonder what's at the back of the bus, eh?

SorosBot March 21, 2012 at 11:57 am

The fucking on the bus goes in and out, in and out, in and out…

valgal2342 March 21, 2012 at 1:05 pm

It's, …."All through the town."

Chichikovovich March 21, 2012 at 11:31 am

We’re getting it adjusted right now since it will be a distraction throughout the campaign

Good thing. Put a hubcap on the back tire, or it just looks weird.

Baconzgood March 21, 2012 at 11:31 am

Nice rack and pinion.

or

Tires or GTFO!

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 11:31 am

ow

LesBontemps March 21, 2012 at 11:32 am

Show us your trucknutz!

(Maybe busnutz? Is that even a thing?)

DaRooster March 21, 2012 at 11:50 am

I once Buss-ed a nut…

BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 11:33 am

I thought that was Michele Bachmann for a moment. But then, I noticed "no crazy eyes."

SpiderCrab March 21, 2012 at 11:46 am

But plenty of stock, right-wing crazy positions on the issues. The resemblance is remarkable.

DaRooster March 21, 2012 at 11:51 am

Chrome Boobs=Crazy Eyes…

GOPCrusher March 21, 2012 at 1:14 pm

That was what I thought last night when I saw this story on Olbermann.

Captain_Quark March 21, 2012 at 11:34 am

I believe that in the Oglala Sioux language "Danielle Smith" means "Shiny Chrome Boobs".

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 11:36 am

Not "Buses With Boobs"?

BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 11:34 am

They still have politics in Canada? I thought they had got their shit together years ago, and the state had just faded away.

Chichikovovich March 21, 2012 at 11:49 am

Counter-revolutionary activity by the Kulaks.

BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 11:54 am

So, blood-bath purge ahead?

Chichikovovich March 21, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Well let's just say that some people might become a bit dizzy with success when the NDP takes control.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collectivization_in_

TheJasonAlexanderFanClub March 21, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Keep in mind this is Alberta, Canada's answer to Texas/Oklahoma/Arizona.

slowhansolo March 21, 2012 at 11:35 am

Thanks for the alt-text LOL, seriously.

Canmon March 21, 2012 at 11:35 am

I could tell they were fake.

DaRooster March 21, 2012 at 11:51 am

If I can touch 'em… they're not fake.

slowhansolo March 21, 2012 at 11:36 am

That's gotta be some terribly painful underwire in that Madonna bra.

PhilippePetain March 21, 2012 at 11:36 am

I wouldn't mind slapping some lug nuts on those.

Chichikovovich March 21, 2012 at 11:37 am

“These stories continue to reinforce stereotypes about women… they tend to focus on women’s’ bodies instead of focusing on what women bring to the table in terms of their competencies,” said Clare Beckton, executive director of Carleton University’s Centre for Women in Politics and Public Leadership in Ottawa.

Not to mention that they select quotes that reinforce joyless stereotypes of heads of Centres for Women in Politics, and people from Ottawa.

Doktor StrangeZoom March 21, 2012 at 11:54 am

How many Women's Studies majors does it take to change a lightbulb?

THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

Chichikovovich March 21, 2012 at 12:03 pm

There's a variation on that one I've always liked:

How many Women's Studies majors does it take to change a lightbulb?

[Scowl, pound the table:] One!

JustPixelz March 21, 2012 at 11:37 am

Her wardrobe malfunctions involve screaming and police and (socialized!) health care.

Goonemeritus March 21, 2012 at 11:37 am

At my age I am way more focused on “what women bring to the table” over my earlier more body centric focus. As much as I still like boobs a nice pie or cobbler can’t be beat!

Chichikovovich March 21, 2012 at 11:52 am

Especially if you eat it off a pair of boobs.

Stevola March 21, 2012 at 11:52 am

She's not going to show her pie

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 11:38 am

Man, I'd like to jack those up…

prommie March 21, 2012 at 11:39 am

Boobies! They are the only purely good thing on earth. There is nothing bad about boobies!

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 11:43 am

Not enough?

GOPCrusher March 21, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Man boobies?

SoBeach March 21, 2012 at 11:39 am

"These stories continue to reinforce stereotypes about women… they tend to focus on women’s’ bodies…"

Sigh. It's a bleak world where we can't snicker like twelve year olds about boobs, but we have to do what's right. Before I start acting all grown up and stuff just let me attach some tassels to the wheels and watch them spin around a little while I giggle. After that, no more. I swear.

DaRooster March 21, 2012 at 11:39 am

The boobs on the bus go round and round….

JustPixelz March 21, 2012 at 11:39 am

Hey future 51st state: In America we put our boobs in the bus!

USA! USA! USA!

DemmeFatale March 21, 2012 at 11:43 am

I remember when "The Bare Naked Ladies" could not play in Toronto, because their name "objectified women." (Yeah, if you're a first grade boy!)

OneYieldRegular March 21, 2012 at 11:44 am

As the old joke goes… Q: How many members of the Centre for Women in Politics and Public Leadership in Ottawa does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: That's not funny.

RedneckMuslin March 21, 2012 at 11:44 am

"These stories continue to reinforce stereotypes about women". Uh, men have boobs, too.

Jimmyone March 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm

After knee surgery, I lost 46 lbs. Now my boobs are smaller than the wife's.

Tundra Grifter March 21, 2012 at 11:45 am

This reminds me of the Land O' Lakes butter carton, where people with 'way too much time on their hands can do a little cutting and folding and produce an Indian maiden showing her all.

I was going to write "a topless Indian maiden" but if you do it right she certainly has a nice top – a peach of a pair!

Tundra Grifter March 21, 2012 at 11:46 am

Jim: I hope you guys thought long and hard about this Post. Wonkette is still to blame for bringing Duh Gov'Nuh to national attention. Is Danielle Smith next up?

Doktor StrangeZoom March 21, 2012 at 11:47 am

John McCain mocked Obama's energy policy as merely "telling people to keep their boobs inflated"

Mr Pre-Press March 21, 2012 at 11:48 am

Do the spinnies go in opposite directions too??

Tundra Grifter March 21, 2012 at 11:49 am

“'The media itself is as much responsible for this kind of behaviour — the media continues to write stories and support stories of this kind,'” Beckton said."

Along with being a major league buzzkill, Carleton University's Ms. Beckton's grammer skills need a bit of work. "Media are" – "medium is."

Baconzgood March 21, 2012 at 11:54 am

Medium? What do they have a bunch psychics on this?

Tundra Grifter March 21, 2012 at 12:21 pm

The great Ernie Kovacs (who would be much better known today if more of his shows had survived) said "Television is a 'medium' because nothing on it is rare and nothing on it is well done."

GOPCrusher March 21, 2012 at 1:19 pm

If he saw what passes for television entertainment today, Ernie would be considered a "medium".

Doktor StrangeZoom March 21, 2012 at 11:56 am

Meh, that battle's lost. All the data is in on that one.

(ducks)

ttommyunger March 21, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Whatever happened to the use of "collective nouns"? Is that just for us olds now?

proudgrampa March 21, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Yes, Grandfather.

ttommyunger March 21, 2012 at 1:03 pm

figures.

Tundra Grifter March 21, 2012 at 1:35 pm

ttug:

We don't need your Communist, socialist, Marxist grammar here – none of that "collective" shit. OK?

ttommyunger March 21, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Found out! Yoicks!

MissTaken March 21, 2012 at 11:51 am

I don't think Victoria's Secret carries bras in Double Radial size.

Doktor StrangeZoom March 21, 2012 at 11:57 am

I think you'd be looking for Goodyear's Secret anyway.

Chichikovovich March 21, 2012 at 12:06 pm

I knew there was something familiar about the shape of that blimp.

Tundra Grifter March 21, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Carrie Snow used to say she had the same bra size as a Corvette.

DaRooster March 21, 2012 at 11:53 am

Not only are her boobs wheels out there for everyone to see… she wears a pearl necklace.

el_donaldo March 21, 2012 at 11:55 am

Oh, great, boobs are hypnotic enough, and now they SPIN?!? No fair.

SayItWithWookies March 21, 2012 at 11:55 am

It doesn't take much, does it? I mean, she's wearing a blouse, so the tits allusion doesn't even make sense. Now if her picture had been topless, that would've been something.

Sharkey March 21, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Beckton? Where have I heard that name before?

Tundra Grifter March 21, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Bend it Like?

Jim Newell March 21, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Thread won! (Although that spelling was "Becton") (she could have changed it — she was weird)

Native_of_SL_UT March 21, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Here is a case of being thrown under the bus I wouldn't mind at all.

DaRooster March 21, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Gives a whole new meaning to titty twister…

Man0nTheStreet March 21, 2012 at 12:32 pm

A full set of spiked-helmet hubcaps on those wheels would be just the sort of kinky thrill loved by all Alberta farmers… think about it, Ms. Smith!

ttommyunger March 21, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Those are definitely not low profile tires and I refuse to believe this was an accident. Those sly northern snow bunnies are a clever lot.

Poindexter718 March 21, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Somebody pass a law and give Clare Beckton the trans-vag ultrasound she so depserately craves!

proudgrampa March 21, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Casabas are SO much sexier.

Gleem McShineys March 21, 2012 at 1:21 pm

“We’re getting it adjusted right now since it will be a distraction throughout the campaign. From now on, we will no longer be having Danielle take off her shirt at campaign events to prove that her breasts are not actually shaped like bus tires. This will definitely allow us to get back to the important issues of the campaign."

owhatever March 21, 2012 at 2:13 pm

The purpose of a campaign ad is to draw the attention of viewers. A masterpiece, this. Leave it alone and win.

Sassomatic March 21, 2012 at 2:17 pm

The boobs on the bus go round and round round and round
The boobs on the bus go round and round
So vote for wheel boobs lady . . .

Thedongsofwar March 21, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Lol

MadBrahms March 21, 2012 at 6:20 pm

I think she sets a poor example for women, inflating them like that.

Coggy March 21, 2012 at 7:45 pm

HILARIOUS!

di_da_is_alpha March 21, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Hey, that's the best story ever on Wonkette. Really. It almost made me forget that the price of gasoline is $4.11 a gallon and rising.

the_problem_child March 21, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Show us your tires!

Barb March 21, 2012 at 11:48 am

Baconz, did you know that some Taco Bell restaurants are serving breakfast now? It's a great way to start your morning out with ice cold diarrhea.

Baconzgood March 21, 2012 at 11:51 am

I love mexican food….That's why I don't eat at Toke-a-bowl.

Barb March 21, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Taco Cabana!

GOPCrusher March 21, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Bud Beer? I think that's already been done.

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