today in canada

Campaign Bus Boob Wheels Delight Canadian Countryside

You pervertsIt’s your Wonkette Wednesday Canadian Politics Roundup! Let’s see, what’s going on up there… ahh, this lady, Danielle Smith of Alberta’s “Wildrose” party, appears to have wheels for boobs as her bus art, instead of the typical flapjack-on-the-head graphic. “We’re getting it adjusted right now since it will be a distraction throughout the campaign,” a party spokesperson reassures. Endless distraction? We doubt the media would ever get distracted by something like this.

Shannon Stubbs, the party spokesperson, has had a good larf or two over the press attention, telling the National Post, “We do think that if this is the absolute worst thing to go wrong in the campaign, then that’s not too bad… We’ve been having a bit of laugh because of the attention it’s been getting. Somebody suggested we submit a picture into Leno or Letterman to get international attention, as well as the national coverage we’ve been getting.”

What fun! Letterman! Everyone’s having so much fun. Yes, everyone…

“These stories continue to reinforce stereotypes about women… they tend to focus on women’s’ bodies instead of focusing on what women bring to the table in terms of their competencies,” said Clare Beckton, executive director of Carleton University’s Centre for Women in Politics and Public Leadership in Ottawa. […]

“The media itself is as much responsible for this kind of behaviour — the media continues to write stories and support stories of this kind,” Beckton said.

The media?? Crap, she’s talking about us — EVERYBODY SCRAM–

[National Post via Michael Roston]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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  • nounverb911

    Are the boobs from Chik-fil-A?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I doubt it. They look too tender.

    • Callyson

      Depends on how many hormones were injected into them.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      They're from Canadian Tire, eh?

  • Barb

    She's got a nice set of lugs!

    • memzilla

      Finished changing the tire? Remember to take the jack off.

      • Barb

        How can you tell if you need to change the tire? Would she be flat chested?
        Morning Mem!

        • memzilla

          I like how you cleverly use "morning coffee" to mean "fresh mimosa."

      • Baconzgood

        That's 2! You're on a roll.

        • Barb

          Now I'm craving Baconz on a roll. I'll give you $500.00 to bring me one, please.

          • Baconzgood

            Try bacon on a croissant. Man oh man did that work for me

          • Barb

            Baconz, did you know that some Taco Bell restaurants are serving breakfast now? It's a great way to start your morning out with ice cold diarrhea.

          • Baconzgood

            I love mexican food….That's why I don't eat at Toke-a-bowl.

          • Barb

            Taco Cabana!

    • WhatTheHeck

      Because of the sheer size of her rims, her wheels need to be balanced and rotated periodically.

    • http://jdsmithwriter.blogspot.com Smitros

      And in Alberta it's going to be cold, too, with predictable results.

  • skoalrebel

    I'd hit it. [spit] Is that the famous Bang Bus?

    • teebob2000

      I dunno, but I wouldn't mind giving her whitewalls, if you know what I mean…

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    How come she's only wearing one pastie?

    • Isyaignert

      Now that's funny!!! You're a good observer.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I think the one on the right is an "innie" and the one on the left is an "outie." I think inverted nipples are kind of rare. Especially in chrome.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        To get her nipples hard, you need a gas station air pump.

    • Callyson

      Pasties are surprisingly tricky to work with.
      Not that *I* would know, of course…

    • themcwow

      She threw it under the bus.

  • FNMA

    I'd hit that bus.
    Wait a minute…

  • HuddledMass

    Oh wow. Snarking this is like shooting fish in a barrel. Or boobs on a bus….

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      We're all boobies on this bus.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Danielle Smith of Alberta’s “Wildrose” party

    Really? They named their party after a bum wine?

    Oh Canada! Don't ever change…

    • Chichikovovich

      Alberta is the "Wild Rose Province". Just like Manitoba is the "Thunderbird" province and Nunavit is the "Antifreeze Territory".

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Does that make BC the Sterno Province?

        • Chichikovovich

          Pretty good for a Yank!
          [Plus New Brunswick is the "Rotgut Distilled in the Garage from 8-pound Sacks of Fermented McCain French Fries Province" and Québec is "La Provence de: Quelle sorte? Je m'en câlisse. Moé, J'en ai besoin, là."]

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Which would leave the Maritimes and….

            …wait for it….

            Ripple

        • Biff

          BC is more into the bud. They grow some mean-assed shit in the Okanogan Valley.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            They also have a pretty decent microbrew industry, so when they get around to legalizing the bud, you're gonna see some pretty amazing synergy when the two industries start to co-mingle.

          • GOPCrusher

            Bud Beer? I think that's already been done.

      • anniegetyerfun

        Saskatchewan – The Starlight Tours Province.

  • freakishlywrong

    Well, she's gotten her international media. Right here on the Wonkett.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I'm sure she'd prefer a different kind of exposure.

      I know I would.

      • freakishlywrong

        It appears she's getting just the right kind..

  • Baconzgood

    NEEDZ MOAR HOCKEY SCOREZ!!!!

  • freakishlywrong

    Oh, and Clare is so fucking uptight you couldn't drag a needle out of her sphincter with a tractor. Lighten up! At least y'all can still take the pill.

  • LesBontemps

    Gives new meaning to "pneumatic." Or maybe the same meaning.

    • prommie

      But there is always a catch.

  • CivicHoliday

    In other news of Canuckistan, "Tory MP Stephen Woodworth wants Parliament to create a committee of politicians whose task it will be to review a law that stops short of defining unborn children as “human beings.” The war on Uteri has spread to the north!

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Actually, they've always had their religious right up there, only with Canada's smaller population, it's only 1/10 the size of ours, and more polite.

  • Failed_2_Menace

    Clare Beckton clearly does not comprehend that taking note of a woman whose rack spins at 65 MPH/105 KPH (metric system sweater puppies!) is a legitimate sign of respect.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    And the wheels on the boobs go round and round, round and round…

  • memzilla

    I never tire of boobs.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Oh, fucking well played. Christ. I tip my hat to you. Well, I'm not dressed yet, so I guess I sort of just flashed the screen.

  • SorosBot

    The boobs on the bus go 'round and 'round…

    Wait a second, that's not right.

    The boobs on the bus bounce up and down,
    Up and down, up and down.
    The boobs on the bus bounce up and down,
    All day long.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      HA! Beat you to it!

    • Barb

      Soros, kinda makes you wonder what's at the back of the bus, eh?

      • SorosBot

        The fucking on the bus goes in and out, in and out, in and out…

    • valgal2342

      It's, …."All through the town."

  • Chichikovovich

    We’re getting it adjusted right now since it will be a distraction throughout the campaign

    Good thing. Put a hubcap on the back tire, or it just looks weird.

  • Baconzgood

    Nice rack and pinion.

    or

    Tires or GTFO!

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    ow

  • LesBontemps

    Show us your trucknutz!

    (Maybe busnutz? Is that even a thing?)

    • DaRooster

      I once Buss-ed a nut…

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I thought that was Michele Bachmann for a moment. But then, I noticed "no crazy eyes."

    • SpiderCrab

      But plenty of stock, right-wing crazy positions on the issues. The resemblance is remarkable.

    • DaRooster

      Chrome Boobs=Crazy Eyes…

    • GOPCrusher

      That was what I thought last night when I saw this story on Olbermann.

  • Captain_Quark

    I believe that in the Oglala Sioux language "Danielle Smith" means "Shiny Chrome Boobs".

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Not "Buses With Boobs"?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    They still have politics in Canada? I thought they had got their shit together years ago, and the state had just faded away.

    • Chichikovovich

      Counter-revolutionary activity by the Kulaks.

    • TheJasonAlexanderFanClub

      Keep in mind this is Alberta, Canada's answer to Texas/Oklahoma/Arizona.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    Thanks for the alt-text LOL, seriously.

  • Canmon

    I could tell they were fake.

    • DaRooster

      If I can touch 'em… they're not fake.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    That's gotta be some terribly painful underwire in that Madonna bra.

  • PhilippePetain

    I wouldn't mind slapping some lug nuts on those.

  • Chichikovovich

    “These stories continue to reinforce stereotypes about women… they tend to focus on women’s’ bodies instead of focusing on what women bring to the table in terms of their competencies,” said Clare Beckton, executive director of Carleton University’s Centre for Women in Politics and Public Leadership in Ottawa.

    Not to mention that they select quotes that reinforce joyless stereotypes of heads of Centres for Women in Politics, and people from Ottawa.

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      How many Women's Studies majors does it take to change a lightbulb?

      THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

      • Chichikovovich

        There's a variation on that one I've always liked:

        How many Women's Studies majors does it take to change a lightbulb?

        [Scowl, pound the table:] One!

  • JustPixelz

    Her wardrobe malfunctions involve screaming and police and (socialized!) health care.

  • Goonemeritus

    At my age I am way more focused on “what women bring to the table” over my earlier more body centric focus. As much as I still like boobs a nice pie or cobbler can’t be beat!

    • Chichikovovich

      Especially if you eat it off a pair of boobs.

    • Stevola

      She's not going to show her pie

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Man, I'd like to jack those up…

  • prommie

    Boobies! They are the only purely good thing on earth. There is nothing bad about boobies!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Not enough?

    • GOPCrusher

      Man boobies?

  • SoBeach

    "These stories continue to reinforce stereotypes about women… they tend to focus on women’s’ bodies…"

    Sigh. It's a bleak world where we can't snicker like twelve year olds about boobs, but we have to do what's right. Before I start acting all grown up and stuff just let me attach some tassels to the wheels and watch them spin around a little while I giggle. After that, no more. I swear.

  • DaRooster

    The boobs on the bus go round and round….

  • JustPixelz

    Hey future 51st state: In America we put our boobs in the bus!

    USA! USA! USA!

  • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

    I remember when "The Bare Naked Ladies" could not play in Toronto, because their name "objectified women." (Yeah, if you're a first grade boy!)

  • OneYieldRegular

    As the old joke goes… Q: How many members of the Centre for Women in Politics and Public Leadership in Ottawa does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    A: That's not funny.

  • RedneckMuslin

    "These stories continue to reinforce stereotypes about women". Uh, men have boobs, too.

    • Jimmyone

      After knee surgery, I lost 46 lbs. Now my boobs are smaller than the wife's.

  • Tundra Grifter

    This reminds me of the Land O' Lakes butter carton, where people with 'way too much time on their hands can do a little cutting and folding and produce an Indian maiden showing her all.

    I was going to write "a topless Indian maiden" but if you do it right she certainly has a nice top – a peach of a pair!

  • Tundra Grifter

    Jim: I hope you guys thought long and hard about this Post. Wonkette is still to blame for bringing Duh Gov'Nuh to national attention. Is Danielle Smith next up?

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    John McCain mocked Obama's energy policy as merely "telling people to keep their boobs inflated"

  • Mr Pre-Press

    Do the spinnies go in opposite directions too??

  • Tundra Grifter

    “'The media itself is as much responsible for this kind of behaviour — the media continues to write stories and support stories of this kind,'” Beckton said."

    Along with being a major league buzzkill, Carleton University's Ms. Beckton's grammer skills need a bit of work. "Media are" – "medium is."

    • Baconzgood

      Medium? What do they have a bunch psychics on this?

      • Tundra Grifter

        The great Ernie Kovacs (who would be much better known today if more of his shows had survived) said "Television is a 'medium' because nothing on it is rare and nothing on it is well done."

        • GOPCrusher

          If he saw what passes for television entertainment today, Ernie would be considered a "medium".

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      Meh, that battle's lost. All the data is in on that one.

      (ducks)

    • ttommyunger

      Whatever happened to the use of "collective nouns"? Is that just for us olds now?

      • proudgrampa

        Yes, Grandfather.

        • ttommyunger

          figures.

      • Tundra Grifter

        ttug:

        We don't need your Communist, socialist, Marxist grammar here – none of that "collective" shit. OK?

        • ttommyunger

          Found out! Yoicks!

  • MissTaken

    I don't think Victoria's Secret carries bras in Double Radial size.

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      I think you'd be looking for Goodyear's Secret anyway.

      • Chichikovovich

        I knew there was something familiar about the shape of that blimp.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Carrie Snow used to say she had the same bra size as a Corvette.

  • DaRooster

    Not only are her boobs wheels out there for everyone to see… she wears a pearl necklace.

  • el_donaldo

    Oh, great, boobs are hypnotic enough, and now they SPIN?!? No fair.

  • SayItWithWookies

    It doesn't take much, does it? I mean, she's wearing a blouse, so the tits allusion doesn't even make sense. Now if her picture had been topless, that would've been something.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Beckton? Where have I heard that name before?

    • Tundra Grifter

      Bend it Like?

    • http://gawker.com Jim Newell

      Thread won! (Although that spelling was "Becton") (she could have changed it — she was weird)

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    Here is a case of being thrown under the bus I wouldn't mind at all.

  • DaRooster

    Gives a whole new meaning to titty twister…

  • Man0nTheStreet

    A full set of spiked-helmet hubcaps on those wheels would be just the sort of kinky thrill loved by all Alberta farmers… think about it, Ms. Smith!

  • ttommyunger

    Those are definitely not low profile tires and I refuse to believe this was an accident. Those sly northern snow bunnies are a clever lot.

  • Poindexter718

    Somebody pass a law and give Clare Beckton the trans-vag ultrasound she so depserately craves!

  • proudgrampa

    Casabas are SO much sexier.

  • Gleem McShineys

    “We’re getting it adjusted right now since it will be a distraction throughout the campaign. From now on, we will no longer be having Danielle take off her shirt at campaign events to prove that her breasts are not actually shaped like bus tires. This will definitely allow us to get back to the important issues of the campaign."

  • owhatever

    The purpose of a campaign ad is to draw the attention of viewers. A masterpiece, this. Leave it alone and win.

  • Sassomatic

    The boobs on the bus go round and round round and round
    The boobs on the bus go round and round
    So vote for wheel boobs lady . . .

  • http://strangestoriesaboutsadpeople.blogspot.com/ Thedongsofwar

    Lol

  • MadBrahms

    I think she sets a poor example for women, inflating them like that.

  • http://images2.dailykos.com/i/user/2722/TMW2012-02-29colorlowres.jpg Coggy

    HILARIOUS!

  • di_da_is_alpha

    Hey, that's the best story ever on Wonkette. Really. It almost made me forget that the price of gasoline is $4.11 a gallon and rising.

  • the_problem_child

    Show us your tires!