Firm.So, has Romney campaign Communications Director Eric Fehrnstrom been fired yet? No? How about … now? Has he been fired now? Mitt Romney does like to fire people, and it seems in this case that Eric Fehrnstrom might be really bad at his job. Here he is, being bad at his job on CNN:

HOST: Is there a concern that Santorum and Gingrich might force the governor to tack so far to the right it would hurt him with moderate voters in the general election.
FEHRNSTROM: Well, I think you hit a reset button for the fall campaign. Everything changes. It’s almost like an Etch A Sketch. You can kind of shake it up and restart all of over again.

To what else could Fehrnstrom have compared Romney’s firmly held principles and beliefs?

* A Slinky.
* A Weeble Wobble.
* Sea Monkeys.
* Silly Putty.
* An “Easy Bake” Oven.
* A Slip N Slide.
* A Sit-N-Spin.
* A Transformer.
* All of them, Katie.


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  • Barb

    And he's simpler than the operating instructions for a hinge.
    I see that Jeb has endorsed Mitt. Hooray! Now I just need to know who Dan Quayle endorses and my life will be complete.

    • Quayle endorsed the potatoe

      • nounverb911


        • No, I mean a potatoe. Boy never was too bright.

      • Both potatos

    • RadioStalingrad

      And here I hitched my wagon to that star, Tawd Palin. RESET!!1!

  • nounverb911

    Can we turn him over and erase him now, please?

    • DaRooster

      Won't muss his hair fer sure.

  • prommie

    Campaign staffers are so morally empty.

    • GayInMaine

      Hey! As a campaign staffer I….

      well, I have no real argument, really.

  • north_of_moscow

    And he has Kung Fu grip!

    • nounverb911

      Romney's no G.I. Joe.

      • Barb

        Take off GI Joe's pants and you will see how he and Romney are alike.

        • SorosBot

          Wait, how could you take off GI Joe's pants? You would have to rip off the legs, and I guess the codpiece; or try and scrape off the paint.

          • Barb

            Soros, don't ask, don't tell.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            You're obviously too young to remember GI Joe V1.0, who was about a foot tall and completely dressable/undressable, and had a package just like Barbie's.

          • SorosBot

            Well obviously; I grew up with the GI Joes, you know the ones people remember, that were six inches tall with lots of accessories and fought Cobra. That means I am very old; but not ancient, like some Baby Boomer or something.

            Why would they even make a Joe figure dressable? That sounds more like a doll than an action figure.

        • sullivanst

          Ohhhhh… is that what the magic does?

        • SorosBot

          But actually, Romney does have a lot in common with old Cobra Commander. Neither ever shows their true face, but both always hide behind a mask. Both were capitalist swindlers before turning to international terrorism / American politics to rule the world; CC a used car salesman, Mittens a piratical "venture capitalist". And both of their bases found them to be not evil or competent enough and looked for new leadership; luckily for Mittens the full wingnuts apparently have been unable to create a GOP equivalent of Serpentor.

          • James Michael Curley

            I don't know what the hell you are talking about. When I was a kid we had a stick. We would imagine it was a bat. Then we would get a Spaldeen and imagine it was a ball.

          • Biff

            Elitist, with your fancy stick. We had seaweed and a mussel shell.

          • Grief_Lessons

            There were a hundred and fifty of us living in a shoebox in the middle of the road.

          • BerkeleyBear

            And every night dad would come home drunk and cut us in half.

        • Swampgas_Man

          Romney has much better hair.

  • nounverb911

    "Some of my best friends own toy companies."
    –Mitt Romney

    • Robman2

      Verse II: "Some of my best friends bought toy companies and moved them to China, because the lead paint bakes better in the finishing ovens, and, it tastes better when our grand kids chew on it, like friend won ton""

  • MissTaken

    Like all good tech stuff, just hit the reset button, shake it up a bit, and everything's good again with the MittBot.

    • SorosBot

      Except that still doesn't stop the MittBott from constantly getting stuck on the "brag about how rich you are" subroutine.

    • Doktor StrangeZoom
      • GeorgiaBurning

        They need the original install disc

  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    * Hungry Hungry Hypocrites

    • And the thread is over!

    • Ruhe

      How far might that analogy go? If you have kids and they've played that game you probably noticed that despite how crazy with desire for Hippoes the commercials make them, the kids get bored with the actual game in seconds. It's loud and pointless.
      Might Romney supporters react in a similar way to an actual Romney presidency?

  • johnnymeatworth

    What an idiot! Clearly the GOP nominee will be closer to a Wooly Willy than anything….

    • bureaucrap

      didn't you mean a "Wet Willy"? Certainly the effect on public policy would be similar.

  • Mitt Romney: The Jenga candidate

  • SorosBot

    Yep, he can just start all over again; all the things he's said won't be used against him in campaign commercials, no way.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      He would actually get my respect, (though probably not my vote) if he came out after getting nominated with an acceptance speech at the end of the convention something along these lines:

      "Thank you! Thank you! (Pause for applause) Thank you!! Wow! OK, settle down now, I've got few words. Settle down, it's time to start the serious business of kicking Barack Obama out of the White House. (long pause for uproarious applause)

      Listen up. Listen up, people. It's going to be a long march, here to November. A long fight. I'm going to need your help. And the first way you can help me is to try to understand Mitt Romney. See where Mitt Romney is coming from.

      I know you all have seen me a lot on the campaign trail, making a lot of appearances, saying a lot of things about a lot of issues;most of it bullshit. That's right, it takes a lot of bullshit to get the Republican nomination, for whatever it's worth. Let's face it, the Republican base has got a boatload of stupid fucking ideas, many of which, frankly, make me nauseous just thinking about, much less supporting on the campaign trail. A lot of really stupid shit. (pause, awkward silence)

      So here's what you need to know about Mitt Romney: he was lying when he said those things. He was trying to get nominated, for fucks sake. Mitt has been around awhile, seen a lot of things, and he may be a liar, but he's not stupid.

      You idiot teatards out there, with your stupid hats and your fucking ass-backward ideas about how rich people should never pay taxes; and you flea-brained evangelicals, who are only interested in making sure the government is 24/7 messing about in America's uteri; yes even you Paultard dimwits who want to simultaneously abolish the income tax, the military and public schools; you, yes, you all, are the mighty force that chooses the Republican nominee, for good or ill. And you've chosen ME! (pause for awkward, confused, light applause)

      Listen up, morons. I'm done with you. I need a hell of a lot more votes than yours to kick Barack Obama out of the White House (pause for applause). I'm going to need voters with brains, and a basic idea of how the real world works. So, to attract those voters, I'm going to stand on my record as Governor of Massachusetts. MA is pretty liberal state, and I was a pretty moderate governor. I did a good job and was reasonably well-liked. That healthcare thing I did? A fucking work of art. I'm pretty proud of it; we got 'er done. Obama tried to copy it, that's how good it was. He got halfway there, but was thwarted by special interest groups with money on the table, as well as irrational, hateful racists that wield so much power in Republican party…

      (these last few lines sort of meander off as Mitt realizes he's emptied the convention hall)

  • The All-New Mitt-Bot, by Hasbro! (Value system sold separately.)

    • DaRooster

      The All-New Mitt-Bot, by Hasbro! (Value system sold separately out of stock.)

    • hagajim

      Value system for the Mittbott…cash please.

  • Goonemeritus

    I know Etch-a-Sketch, Etch-a-Sketch was a friend of mine. Your candidate sir is no Etch-a-Sketch!

  • nounverb911

    Mitt grew up in Candyland.

  • DaRooster

    "Etch A Sketches are people too my friend."

  • Baconzgood

    "Well, I think you hit a reset button for the fall campaign. Because it's not like he went on record at debates or made stump speeches that were on TV or did radio interviews that were taped."

  • freakishlywrong

    Tack to center, my ass. Appears they have forgotten about the youtubes and the internets thingees.

    • Biff

      Amazing, isn't it? They remember made-up shit from reagan's (and even Lincoln's) presidency, but can't seem to grasp that the internet is forever.

  • Ruhe

    Magic Eight-Ball? Of course the element of chance involved with that one (and any policy changes based on it) seems to fit the Gover's m.o. more than the Mittbot.

  • RedneckMuslin

    A Slinky?

  • If Mitt is a Etch-a-Sketch, Barry is an iPad.

    • edgydrifter

      No, Obama is a Lite-Brite, because, you know… errorist-tay.

    • And Newt is a Heavy Daze Pad.

      • Biff

        Ron Paul must be a notepad and a pencil, then.

        • anniegetyerfun

          Stick. Dirt.

        • Toomush_Infer

          Nope – one free smoke signal….no damn libral sociaizin' blanket, neither….

  • johnnymeatworth

    Sure, but where does he stand on the Keystone Chutes and Ladders XL initiative?

  • Baconzgood

    Soooo his campain is pointless and the knobs don't work right and my kids lose interest in about 5 minutes?

    • prommie

      And he can't move diagonally.

      • LetUsBray

        No, moving diagonally would be more Santorum's thing, since he wants so very much to be a bishop.

        • Chichikovovich

          And his movements are restricted to uniformly white areas.

          • AbandonHope

            Both of these comments are utter perfection.

  • SixThirty

    Just hold a magnet up to his abdomen and the hard drive will be wiped clean.

  • SexySmurf

    I always thought of Mitt as one of those dolls that wet themselves.

    • chicken_thief

      If I'm not mistaken, that's the David Vitter version.

    • emmelemm

      I just noticed your little avatar self-description roll-over, and I have to say, I approve.

      Also, I had a Betsy Wetsy doll when I was a kid.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Husker Don't.

    • sezme

      Kudos on a rather obscure reference. I remember seeing TV ads for Husker Du "The Scandinavian game of 'Do you remember'." Long before the band existed.

  • edgydrifter

    I always considered him the little top hat piece from Monopoly.

    • Uncle Pennybags is people too, my friend!

    • bureaucrap

      Literally "all hat, no cattle."

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "To what else could Fehrnstrom have compared Romney’s firmly held principles and beliefs?"

    Lawn Darts.

    Also, Silly Putty.

  • Barb

    He's not so much an Etch-a-Sketch as he is an endless Saturday-Night-Live-Sketch.

    • In fairness, his party makes a great cast for that classic cartoon, "Wacky Racists".

  • chicken_thief

    I, for one, am convinced that Mitt's evolution from a Tassachusetts moderate to True Conservative is complete and genuine. I mean, he wouldn't just make all that shit up, would he?!

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      That's unpossible. How stupid would you have to be to prance around multiple states yelling about how you're slightly to the right of Pol Pot and then completely change your views once you wrap up the nomination?

      Why, you'd be accused of pandering and flip-flopping and all kinds, and become even less popular than you already were, probably leading to a crushing defeat in November. He couldn't possibly be that much of a tool.

      • chicken_thief

        Maybe dumb enough to praise Ryan Budget 2.0 as bold?

  • Jerri

    Well sure. Just unplug him, wait 10 seconds, and plug him in again. Image problem solved!

  • Barb

    Wacky Wallstreet Walkers?

    • Shouldn't that be "Wacky Wall Streetwalkers"?

      • Barb

        No, I was happy with the way that it was, thanks!

    • Baconzgood

      "Throw them against the wall and they tank the mortgage industry (bail out sold separate)."

  • sullivanst

    Just what you want in a President: shake him, and he goes blank. Genius! Genius I say.

    • sezme

      Worked with Reagan!

    • Toomush_Infer

      I agree….this analagy is near-perfect for Mitt. Better than the Bush feather….Doonesbury, take note!….

  • chicken_thief

    This is good news for Rick Santorum.

  • el_donaldo

    easy bake oven? powered by a warm, dim bulb, you know.

    • chicken_thief


  • Native_of_SL_UT

    They are counting our short memories, what were we talking about?

  • Yes but their real campaign metric will be 'how much will it cost to buy these six swing states?'

  • It's clear that Mitt Romney is a Pet Rock.

  • RadioStalingrad

    Poop Chutes and Ladders.

    • emmelemm

      Ew! Also: funny.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Eats, shoots and leaves.

  • WhatTheHeck

    So Mitt’s people are prepared to turn their campaign into a toy story.
    People grow up and leave toys behind.

    • SorosBot

      Ahem; some of us grown ups still like our toys.

    • el_donaldo

      And then the toys get donated to a daycare center, and then people get nostalgic and want their toys back, but their toys are helping defeat a totalitarian toy regime, and …

      Mitt Romney, Toy Story 3 Revisited. With Newt Gingrich as the purple, cuddly, scary bear.

  • Sacanagem

    Trust me, you don't want to know where the Mittbot 9000(TM)'s reset button is located.

    • Mr Pre-Press

      somewhere under the magic underwear between the dog crate and Ann's Caddy.

    • "Pull. My. Finger. *meepsmeeps*"

    • Sacanagem

      I was thinking in the neighborhood of the prostate, but these work too.

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      I've read "Chobits," and so I simply have to say, Damn you, sir or madam!

  • freakishlywrong

    Pander Games.

  • hagajim

    Mitt is like Clue…as in he doesn't have one.

  • Jerri

    Wooly Willy's beard, also. They both have magnetic personalities, is what I am saying.

    <a href="http://(” target=”_blank”>(

  • Chick-Fil-Atheistâ„¢

    I knew Mitt had lost his marbles. Didn't know his adviser was playin' with 'em.

  • scorpy1

    He's way too boring to be a Transformer. I'd say Go-Bot.

  • Exhausted66

    Stretch Armsrace?

    Sorry, I got nothing.

  • James Michael Curley

    Back in the sixties the Republicans had a Dick that was a candidate and they had to play with that.

  • Callyson

    And Mittens would know all about hitting those reset buttons, also, too, again.

  • teebob2000

    I pictured him more a warped, wobbly Frisbee(tm).

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    The real scandal will come when it's revealed that Fehrnstrom is actually on the payroll of The Daily Show.

  • An Etch a Sketch? If you breathe on the damn things the picture will change… oh, wait… Now, I get it! Sorry.

  • Eve8Apples

    "To what else could Fehrnstrom have compared Romney’s firmly held principles and beliefs?"

    Pair of flip flops
    Magic 8 ball – shake it up and you can't predict what it will say in response to your question

    • emmelemm

      "Ask again later"

  • ttommyunger

    Oh, I think he's more of a "Mood Ring" kind of guy; remember those? No? OK……

  • Wilcoxyz

    Mitt's about as well equipped as a Ken doll.

  • proudgrampa

    What the fuck does that even mean?

  • GreatChristiano

    Play-dough for his uncanny ability to adapt and reshape: he'll be Mexican if you want him to; he loves grits if'n ya live in the South…

  • reasonbran

    Bad analogy. Mitt's more like a Nyet-a-Sketch. No there there. I mean, really: none at all.

    It's like a Buddhist dream gone very, very wrong. The Void! And it's running for President.

    Maybe this is why zombies are so big? It was premonitory?

    • emmelemm

      Shades of Alvin Greene! Also, I like your username.

  • Sue4466

    He then added that the electorate is like a three year old playing peek-a-boo: always surprised that dad's behind those hands.

  • bureaucrap

    I'd characterize him as a helium party balloon – drifts with the wind, but gradually loses lift and finally ends up as a sad, used empty rubber on the sidewalk.

  • Sacanagem

    "Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a MITT 9000 computer. I became operational at the M.I.T.T. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you."

  • MozakiBlocks

    And somewhere David Axelrod laughs maniacally while sacrificing another chicken.

  • ALIVE!

    Ron Paul is Operation, "the wacky doctor game."

  • owhatever

    President Obama called me to apologize, and talk about Tim Tebow getting traded to the Jets.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Makes all the trees the right height…oops, shook it….

  • Toomush_Infer

    Etch-A-Sketch Romney….it has a ring to it…oops….just look at these fiscal policies….oops, we'll try to get that back/….,maybe if we shake him up again…

  • owhatever

    I called Brisket Palin to apologize for saying she was a fat bitch who can't dance, but she would not take my call. I left a message promising to make up for also saying she was a fame whore by sending her an Etch-A-Sketch, with directions.


  • thebeatgoeson

    That's not just a host – that's Sexy Liberal John Fugelsang!

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