MUSTA BEEN A TYPO  9:35 am March 21, 2012

Obama Wishes Iranians Happy New Year, Forgets To Declare War

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

What is this, Barack Obama wishing the Iranian people a pleasant Nowruz, or Persian New Year? That is not very warlike, Barack Obama. Haven’t you been reading Tha Newz lately? We read this mostly as a “please enjoy your holiday in spite of the intransigent nuts who run your government” message — who couldn’t relate to that? — sprinkled with a bit of “and also sorry about those sanctions but seriously your government really sucks” subtext. As a consolation prize, Obama offers you in return that “The United States will continue to draw attention to the electronic curtain that is cutting the Iranian people off from the world.” Sort of like China, except that the U.S. government is actually bothered by mass censoring of the Internet in your case, Iran. But is that really the issue, Fox Nation commenter dingbats? Let’s have a policy debate!

The real problem, according to commenter “voteexceptional,” is that Obama is expecting his message will make every Iranian a Christian. What kind of idiot would believe that?

Obama thinks the world believes him. He stupidly uses flattery to try to win Iran over and make them as nice as Christians. Won’t work Obama. They are good liars too! Just like you. Lying is part of their culture. They are not Christians Obama.

Good old Christians, always not lying about things. Any other salient points, Fox Nation idiots?

“louisiana_mom:” He celebrates Hanukkah 2 weeks early, forgets all about Easter last year and wishing Christians a Happy Easter but he can remember to wish Iran happy holidays!??!

“mamadore:” BUT, will he wish a nation of Christians a Happy Easter. He didn’t recognize it last year except to have an Easter Egg Hunt for the kids, but that had nothing to do with the religious part of Easter and Christ’s rising.

Anyway, that right there seems like enough radioactive bat guano to qualify this as a “GOP debate,” yeah? There you go, John McCain, you’ve got a few experts to cite in your next press release arguing for war on Iran. You’re welcome. [White House YouTube/ Fox Nation]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 146 comments }

BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 9:39 am

Fuck Easter. You don't even get a day off from work for that. What a stupid fucking holiday.

freakishlywrong March 21, 2012 at 9:42 am

The fuxnuts, they lurve the Peeps.

tessiee March 21, 2012 at 9:45 am

My peeps love the Peeps, too.

freakishlywrong March 21, 2012 at 9:52 am

I used to love jelly beans too, but now they remind me too much of The Reagan.

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 10:15 am

My peeps love my peepee

weej_bain March 21, 2012 at 10:20 am

Should Barry send Ahmadinejad a case or three of Peeps? Maybe a special diorama?

Jerri March 21, 2012 at 9:53 am

Plus, you (by which I mean me as a child) had to spend upwards of 4 hours at church, and the gifty part is terrible. Thanks for the crappy black jellybeans and hollow milk chocolate egg, Bunny Christ, but I'm good.

DaRooster March 21, 2012 at 10:22 am

Licorice Libel!!

Mumbletypeg March 21, 2012 at 10:33 am

I was baffled to come outside this a.m. and find irises budding — normally these wait (here in central VA) til closer to "Easter" or April, like the dogwoods — but I mention this because for a change I'll be spending "upwards of 4 hours" this weekend on the National Mall at some atheist rally I was invited to.
With cherry blossoms peaking.
Iris, dogwood and lilac budding early.
Maybe it's a sign — although the atheists in attendance would disagree (I'm not one btw) — but I'm getting quite a laugh that good old-fashioned Easter is getting pwned this year as far as all the flora & butterfly what-not coinciding around this heathen-fest instead.

Jerri March 21, 2012 at 11:01 am

That sounds so pretty (the flowers and so on, not the rally, which could be fun.)

Flowers are blooming here in Wisconsin, too. And it's supposed to be 75-80 degrees again today. It's nuts, but since there is little to nothing I can do about that, I will just enjoy the warm weather and flowers.

BerkeleyBear March 21, 2012 at 11:51 am

GAH!!!!!!! I finally move out of the Midwest after a decade-plus to the NW, and you are all getting 70 degrees + in Illinois, Indiana, Wisconsin and the East Coast too. Meanwhile, Portland is still getting snow every damn night in the hills (fortunately it isn't sticking to the roads or the city would shut down) and I haven't seen the sun for more than an hour at a time for a week.

I'm taking my kids to California next week. If the weather follows me then we will have proof that I am, in fact, the cause of all this. I'm not sure if that makes me the Winter King in need of being sacrificed to bring Spring or what, but I may start abusing my powers – pay me or I'll move back to your neighborhood.

SorosBot March 21, 2012 at 9:53 am

Well Good Friday is basically a day off work for Easter. And a fun day to practice some blasphemy – I usually watch the Life of Brian for it.

LesBontemps March 21, 2012 at 9:59 am

Apparently, Good Friday off is only an Eastern (specifically, Northeastern) thing, because Catholics.

SorosBot March 21, 2012 at 10:02 am

Really, other people don't get it off? Weird.

And I've had it off in Chicago before, and know at least one person on the West Coast who has it off too, so it's not just Eastern.

BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 10:10 am

I haven't had Good Friday off since I was in grade school. And that's 1960s-70s.

LesBontemps March 21, 2012 at 10:18 am

I don't actually have any first-hand experience, since I try never to leave the Northeast. It's just too hard to find a decent pizza or even a Kaiser roll anywhere else. But the spousal unit (a westerner) keeps harping on it.

DaRooster March 21, 2012 at 10:24 am

We only closed the store from noon to three… and then "Back to it."

sullivanst March 21, 2012 at 11:05 am

Don't think it's very common to have it off here on Long Island, my boss expects me to work, I don't remember my wife ever being off on Good Friday either (at various jobs). And it's super-catholicy around here (so catholicy, our Congressasshole founded his political career on support for the IRA, and it worked for him, which sure as hell doesn't work for me).

BerkeleyBear March 21, 2012 at 11:52 am

Illinois gives its employees the day off, also a Catholic legacy. Indiana doesn't, California doesn't, don't know about the South.

Beowoof March 21, 2012 at 1:38 pm

As recovering Catholics my significant other and I usually have bacon cheese burgers and then select a movie the catholic church has said would be bad for us.

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 10:13 am

We get Good Friday.

Grief_Lessons March 21, 2012 at 11:25 am

A lot of us socialist Canadians also get Easter Monday, an abomination of a holiday created expressly because of the rip-off of Easter Sunday always falling on a weekend.

BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 11:31 am

The Italians do that too.

DaRooster March 21, 2012 at 11:41 am

Easter Monday?? Is that for the hard boiled egg related gastrointestinal problems?

Grief_Lessons March 21, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Most of us just use it as a day to sit on our asses, eat leftover ham, enjoy the first signs of spring, etc. Theologically, this is probably what Jesus did on the first day after his return to heaven.

JimNauseam March 21, 2012 at 1:10 pm

If you're Irish, Easter Monday is "Fuck The British" day.

Callyson March 21, 2012 at 12:46 pm

I hated Easter even when I was a kid. Never could color those stupid fucking boiled eggs. And the Easter Bunny was a…um, you know, the R – word…

freakishlywrong March 21, 2012 at 9:40 am

This outrage cannot stand.

Baconzgood March 21, 2012 at 9:41 am

MOOSLUM KENYAN TEARRIST!

Maman March 21, 2012 at 9:41 am

No one at Fox has pointed out that all those A-rabs stick together? Sheesh

BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 10:25 am

I'm really surprised that they haven't, especially since Iranians are considered Aryans, so it would be a false equivalency, which would be right up Fox's alley.

BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 9:41 am

"They are good liars too! Just like you. Lying is part of their culture."

This guy probably thought Paul Ryan was telling the truth when he explained how great everything will be after the congress enacts his latest budget.

Wadisay March 21, 2012 at 10:27 am

I thought "voteexceptional".s comment was in Farsi.

Failed_2_Menace March 21, 2012 at 9:42 am

In the Republican response, John Bolton wished the Iranian people a "Happy Nuclear Winter should I ever get within six feet of the goddam button."

Chillatte March 21, 2012 at 9:42 am

In your face, Netanyahu.

SorosBot March 21, 2012 at 9:42 am

"He stupidly uses flattery to try to win Iran over and make them as nice as Christians"

We already have problems with the Iranians, why would you want them to start acting that nasty and arrogant and not nice at all?

anniegetyerfun March 21, 2012 at 11:32 am

It's the American way.

DerrickWildcat March 21, 2012 at 9:42 am

Derrick Wildcat Nation only says nice nice things about people.
Dear Mr. Persia, I like your cats.

LiveToServeYa March 21, 2012 at 9:43 am

I had an electronic curtain, once, but the lights kept freaking the cats out.

BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 9:49 am

My dogs always used to run flat out into my iron curtain. Stupid dogs.

MadBrahms March 21, 2012 at 9:55 am

I always wanted one of those as a kid, but my mom said they were a fire hazard.

Atomic26 March 21, 2012 at 9:43 am

Funny, I always thought that the idea of being "Christian" and nice to people applied whether they liked you or not. Also since Easter (the goddess, not the day named after her) holds bunnies and eggs to be important having an egg hunt seems like the best thing to do to honor the roots of that particular holiday.

prommie March 21, 2012 at 10:17 am

Hay-soos actually said at one point "what credit is there in loving your friends, everyone loves their friends, I'm saying that you have to love your ENEMIES."

RedneckMuslin March 21, 2012 at 9:43 am

Geez, Obama and Iran. Get a room, already!

Mumbletypeg March 21, 2012 at 9:44 am

Um, "mamadore"? Christ's rising ain't got nothin' on the dough rising 'round your brainpan.

freakishlywrong March 21, 2012 at 9:44 am

What's scary is; I keep saying that they can't possibly keep up all the ginned up fauxrage for 8.5 more months. But they can. Peak Wngnut doesn't exist; they just go hatier. Someone's face is going to get stuck like that.

ifthethunderdontgetya March 21, 2012 at 9:53 am

"Peak Wingnut" is a theory in search of evidence.
~

LesBontemps March 21, 2012 at 10:03 am

Unfortunately "Peak Wingnut" does occur, generally manifesting as civil war.

Doktor StrangeZoom March 21, 2012 at 10:51 am

Wingnut levels appear to defy the 2nd law of Freakoutdynamics.

Grief_Lessons March 21, 2012 at 11:28 am

It's closely correlated to the traditional folk advice, "You never go full wingnut"

BarackMyWorld March 21, 2012 at 9:57 am

I'm expecting post-election riots after he wins.

BerkeleyBear March 21, 2012 at 11:56 am

Yeah, but hoverrounds have a limited charge, so they'll be stuck rioting at their local WalMarts.

prommie March 21, 2012 at 10:18 am

They just keep drilling for more hate, and there are always the Saskatchawan hate sands, if that runs out.

BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 9:45 am

"make them as nice as Christians."

Excuse me? In the immortal words of the Virgin Mary, come again?

Baconzgood March 21, 2012 at 9:48 am

Pay no attention to that inquisition, or turning a blind eye to the Nazis, or that sacking of Constantinople in 1204, behind the curtain.

Mumbletypeg March 21, 2012 at 9:50 am

She/ he/ it is cheapening their faith referring to it this way. As if it were perfume being discussed — "not like us 'nice-smelling' Christians" — instead of allegiance to a belief system/ worldview/ creed.

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 10:32 am

In the immortal words of the Virgin Mary, come again?

Say, what did Mary shout when she orgasmed? "Oh son! Oh SON! OH SON!"?

I'm going to hell, ain't I?

Baconzgood March 21, 2012 at 9:45 am

I read some of the comments and I have a theory why Skoalrebel was out of the line up for a bit. He was trolling Fox Nation and boning up on his bat shit crazy for our entertainment.

bureaucrap March 21, 2012 at 9:46 am

Yes, it's important for us to recognize the religious roots of Easter — as a ceremony celebrating the Babylonian goddess Astarte (hence the name), goddess of fertility. So Obama needs to say, "happy astarte everyone, now go out and procreate!!!"

Mort_Sinclair March 21, 2012 at 9:47 am

We read this mostly as a “please enjoy your holiday in spite of the intransigent nuts who run your government” message — who couldn’t relate to that? — sprinkled with a bit of “and also sorry about those sanctions but seriously your government really sucks” subtext.

Best laugh of the morning so far. Thanks.

hagajim March 21, 2012 at 11:23 am

Shucks, when I read that I thought he was talking about Congress.

tessiee March 21, 2012 at 9:47 am

'Obama thinks the world believes him. He stupidly uses flattery to try to win Iran over and make them as nice as Christians. Won’t work Obama."

What "voteexceptional" is saying is that she thinks President Obama should cast aspersions on Persians.

MadBrahms March 21, 2012 at 9:57 am

And incursions, most likely.

LesBontemps March 21, 2012 at 10:20 am

And explursions.

x111e7thst March 21, 2012 at 9:47 am

I-ran is full of A-rab sand monkeys just like I-rak. Start bombing now

Goonemeritus March 21, 2012 at 9:48 am

Boy I guess some people are really nostalgic for the good old days of “Evil Empire” and “you’re either with us or against us”.

BeccaGo March 21, 2012 at 9:49 am

And did he even bother to wish the pagans a happy Ostara yesterday? NO HE DIDN'T.

ifthethunderdontgetya March 21, 2012 at 9:49 am

“and also sorry about those sanctions but seriously your government really sucks”

Truly. I'm sure the Iranians would like us to pick it for them again.

Of course, the Shah didn't turn out so great, but hey, we all make mistakes, amirite?
~

freakishlywrong March 21, 2012 at 9:54 am

What's fucked is they hate U.S of America's Gummint just as much..

dubyatf March 22, 2012 at 3:39 am

Nah, not really. Their government hates our government but the Iranian people are strangely fascinated by America. Which doesn't make any sense, since the populace is said to be highly educated and sophisticated. On the other hand, Ahmadinajad is a douche nozzle, or would be reincarnated as one in a perfect world.

neiltheblaze March 21, 2012 at 9:50 am

Christians aren't nice.

BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 10:14 am

Well, they are, at least to each other, just so long as they belong to the same sub-cult (see under Ireland)

chicken_thief March 21, 2012 at 10:19 am

Oh no! You're going to burn in hell for saying that.

neiltheblaze March 21, 2012 at 1:46 pm

I'm going to burn in hell for lots of better reasons than that.

tessiee March 21, 2012 at 10:42 am

Some of them are.
We need a word to distinguish the ones who are mean and crazy.
I suggest "christopaths".

BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 9:52 am

He was probably using some kind of invisible secret Islamic code in this message to pass along secrets on nuclear weapon technology.

Baconzgood March 21, 2012 at 9:56 am

He was blinking in Arabic the whole time.

LesBontemps March 21, 2012 at 10:07 am

Good thing Iranians blink in Farsi.

Baconzgood March 21, 2012 at 10:10 am

I'll teach you to ruin my snark with your fancy liberal "facts" and "knowlage".

anniegetyerfun March 21, 2012 at 11:34 am

It's hard to blink in Arabic, or Farsi, because you have to do it backwards.

dubyatf March 22, 2012 at 3:40 am

Simple-you just turn around.

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 10:44 am

Quick! Which pants pocket was his bandana dangling from!?!?!?!?!

Baconzgood March 21, 2012 at 9:54 am

I have one of those curtains buried under ground to keep Lord Singen-Smith III Duke of Butt-Sniff from running out of the yard. Sometimes I turn it off and wait for him to get too close to it….then crank it up and watch him jump.

prommie March 21, 2012 at 9:55 am

Oh no, this is not good, not good at all! Charles Kraphammer will krap himself over Obama's betrayal of his oath of allegiance to Israel! Netanyahu and Isreali Ambassador to the Senate Joe Lieberman will be busy this election season, using threats of a middle-east crisis to campaign for the republican nominee!

BarackMyWorld March 21, 2012 at 9:56 am

If Obama could fly, these people would want to impeach him for breaking the law of gravity.

LesBontemps March 21, 2012 at 10:08 am

Like they need an excuse.

JustPixelz March 21, 2012 at 11:52 am

Gravity is a theory that's out there. But it doesn't agree with the Bible on several points. The Earth is the center of the universe, the Sun stopping in the sky, Jesus rising. So it must be false and should not be taught in our schools. Also, no law or policy based on gravity should be enacted.

doloras March 21, 2012 at 5:03 pm

If Obama could walk on water, these people would want to impeach him for not being able to swim.

dubyatf March 22, 2012 at 3:43 am

False! 'Cause all Republicans *know* darkies can't swim.

Mumbletypeg March 21, 2012 at 9:57 am

Would it be descending to their level of pettiness to inform these mock-Christians that Zoroaster ran his Mazda over their Dogma quite a long time ago — and these flagrantly fouled-up excuses for devout bible-adherents are doing a lousy job concealing their scars from that collision of faiths?

unclejeems March 21, 2012 at 11:31 am

I had a Mazda once, but the transmission blew out.

Gleem McShineys March 21, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Be prepared for the backlash. Hopefully you can tolerate their burning, searing, absolutely vacant stares of infinite incomprehension.

"Zoolander? Whut–?"

Oblios_Cap March 21, 2012 at 10:04 am

Did he send a predator drone filled with depleted uranium Easter Eggs to Tehran? That's what Muscular Jebus would have done!

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 10:21 am

Don't even ask what the chocolate bunnies were made of…

MozakiBlocks March 21, 2012 at 10:05 am
BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 10:12 am

It's like having a Renaissance Man as President.

MadBrahms March 21, 2012 at 10:14 am

Danny DeVito would be a horrible president.

Nostrildamus March 21, 2012 at 12:44 pm

I'd take him over John McCain. The Penguin is was way less demented.

Doktor StrangeZoom March 21, 2012 at 10:24 am

Clearly, James O'Keefe needs to send an undercover operative to sign "Please keep killing babies and promoting socialism, also weren't you really born in Kenya? to Obama, just to see if the Usurper signs back "Thank you."

It's JUST LIKE a teleprompter!

anniegetyerfun March 21, 2012 at 11:36 am

I'm afraid I actually climaxed, twice, while reading that.

Gleem McShineys March 21, 2012 at 12:49 pm

I'm afraid I climaxed after reading that you climaxed.
Its an orgasmic version of the blueberry pie scene from "Stand By Me" around here.

tihond March 21, 2012 at 10:08 am

Sure he could wish the Vietnamese a tip top tet, but where was Krusty's Easter Special?

DaRooster March 21, 2012 at 10:13 am

"He stupidly uses flattery to try to win Iran over and make them as nice as Christians."

Stupidly?

Yep… they should be nice… like you. You fucking mental midget. You don't even respect the President of the United States. Get out of my country… all y'all.

Guppy March 21, 2012 at 10:14 am

Sort of like China, except that the U.S. government is actually bothered by mass censoring of the Internet in your case, Iran.

The only reason the US is bothered is US companies aren't making a buck off of selling censorship tech to Iran, because sanctions.

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 10:14 am

People! People! Settle down already!

I've fucked dated enough Iranian women in my life and wishing them a "happy" anything is tantamount to an insult!

I mean, an orgasm is like a death threat to them.

Watch Ahmadinnerjacket slip off a glove and slap Obama in the face, now.

BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 10:18 am

Ah, Iranian women. They've got special dispensation from Allah to wear their legs upside down. Never seen such calves, like fucking Popeye arms.

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 10:26 am

Are you accusing them of having cankles?

Cuz I could show you pictures.

They're a little sticky…

Now IRISH chicks…

CountryClubJihadi March 21, 2012 at 10:18 am

Happy 1391 everybody. Seriously, my friends could not even send me Norouz e-cards this year because they barely have bandwidth now. I love you, Barry.

MadBrahms March 21, 2012 at 10:20 am

Just wait until Ahmadinejad retaliates with his passive-aggressive Easter greeting to America. Begun, the Hallmark Wars have.

b[redact]opple March 21, 2012 at 10:20 am

I remember a few years ago the fascist Archbishop of Athens denounced a left-wing parliament deputy for making an Easter speech about "renewal" and "spring" and "pretty flowers" and everyone was, like, "groan, how embarrassing." But I guess the US is not so different! Nice how Obama cold forgot about the damn holiday last year, if these accounts are true.

Doktor StrangeZoom March 21, 2012 at 10:21 am

The Christian thing to do would be to send priests to molest their children.

chicken_thief March 21, 2012 at 10:31 am

Or a Evangelical preacher to engage the services of their hookers.

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 10:23 am

Here's a surprise: not only did Obama recognize Easter last year, he held a fucking prayer breakfast, that FOX never covered…

Doktor StrangeZoom March 21, 2012 at 10:33 am

Yeah, but did he break into Prime Time to specifically thank Our Lord Jesus Christ for rising from the dead and wiping away our sins? Anything less is a War on Religion.

(Note: also, if he did do that, it would be fake and wouldn't count, because Obama is evil)

Gleem McShineys March 21, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Good news! Even if the protective condom that is FOX News, which is a barrier from any factual information from ever coming near the minds of their viewers should get punctured — their minds are completely sterile! No ideas will ever grow there! THE HATE IS SAFE

DerrickWildcat March 21, 2012 at 10:26 am

LOL the play button is a Hitler mustache!

FlipOffResearch March 21, 2012 at 10:26 am

In the meantime, noted dick Dick Cheney wished the Iranian people a happy new war.

chicken_thief March 21, 2012 at 10:28 am

Sheeple, open your eyes! This is nothing. At the last G8 summit Obummerz was talking to Merkel…. leader of Germany…. home of the Nazis….. connect the dots!!!!!!!

Barb March 21, 2012 at 10:34 am

I miss celebrating Easter as a child. An afternoon of dying eggs and then an eternity of egg salad. Good times!

prommie March 21, 2012 at 10:38 am

And fucking ham. The tradition in our family was something called a "fresh ham," which is an un-hammed ham, a pork leg, that has not been cured. In protest of this idiocy, for years I called cucumbers "un-pickled pickles."

SorosBot March 21, 2012 at 10:47 am

Same here, just because that's what my mom's family ate. It doesn't taste good; and she once a year we get that foisted on us, even though the rest of our family are all atheists and, as I tell her, I'm coming over just for dinner, not Easter dinner, because I don't celebrate Easter and asking me to do so is really offensive. Why we can't cook up something decent instead is beyond me.

dubyatf March 22, 2012 at 3:51 am

Wait, I'm confused. Which was it, fucking ham or fresh ham? Or was it fucking fresh ham? Fresh fucking? Freshly fucked? Did someone mention orgasms?

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 10:41 am

In fairness, the eggs were pretty dead when they got to you.

Doktor StrangeZoom March 21, 2012 at 10:55 am

I miss the good old Passover celebrations of my childhood, when we'd kill some Christian infants to make our matzos…

LesBontemps March 21, 2012 at 11:28 am

… and blame Sarah Palin for it.

anniegetyerfun March 21, 2012 at 11:41 am

The thing that makes Norwuz kind of cool is that it's actually a pagan/Zorastrian holiday, much like Easter was a non-Christian holiday, that the Iranian regime has tried to tone down over the years. It's older than Purim (and in fact, may be the inspiration for Purim). There are elements of "fire worship", or least, the use of fire in ceremonies, that freak the Islamists out.

As such, we should be celebrating the FUCK out of this holiday, with the Iranians. Anything to piss off the mullahs. Of course, I don't expect Fox commenters to know this.

Doktor StrangeZoom March 21, 2012 at 11:50 am

Isn't it good,
Norwuz and wood?

proudgrampa March 21, 2012 at 12:17 pm

As a Pastafarian, I am looking forward to "Pastover."

May you be touched by his Noodly Appendage.

gurukalehuru March 21, 2012 at 3:57 pm

I celebrate Oyster.

ttommyunger March 21, 2012 at 1:05 pm

For his next trick, Barry will walk on water. Faux Noose: "Ha, Ha, the President Can't Swim!"

JimNauseam March 21, 2012 at 1:12 pm

This time of year it's extra fun to tell Christians that "Easter" is the name of a pagan fertility goddess, and that those eggs they're coloring are stand-ins for testicles. Let the good times roll!

Isyaignert March 21, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Haha – you sound like a lot of fun on a date!

glamourdammerung March 21, 2012 at 2:59 pm

They should just run the headline "Obama does something, Republicans freak the fuck out". It would save the editors a bit of time.

lochnessmonster March 21, 2012 at 5:31 pm

No matter what he does, he'll offend someone. Mr. President, don't change!

Isyaignert March 21, 2012 at 5:35 pm

I'm sure they're all stompin' and spittin' down at the GOTP HQ – Obama just foiled their plans for another illegal, immoral war-of-choice-for-profit.

BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 10:27 am

Kosher Deli?

James Michael Curley March 21, 2012 at 10:28 am

Don't forget the Portuguese Roll. Rest of the country don't even know what a Portuguese Roll is.

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 10:31 am

They'd be closed all day Saturday. Unless it's a Faux-sher deli.

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 10:34 am

Mmmm, papo Secos….

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 10:35 am

WTF kinda name is "Nowruz" anyway? What candyass religion names one of their important holidays after the guy who drove my cab this morning????

actor212 March 21, 2012 at 10:42 am

Well, "balanced," maybe.

Or "fair," maybe.

Oh hell, I give up!

Stevola March 21, 2012 at 11:45 am

Unfair and unbalanced

Doktor StrangeZoom March 21, 2012 at 10:53 am

Well, if you include the secondary meaning of "fair"–light-skinned–then, sure.

Jerri March 21, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Don't feel too discouraged. It will probably snow 3 feet in June here to make up for this.

DaRooster March 21, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Long trip…

dubyatf March 22, 2012 at 3:48 am

It depends on what your definition of "and" is.

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