GET DRUNK BEFORE AND AFTER  5:01 pm March 20, 2012

Go Party With RNC Chairman Reince Priebus WEDNESDAY! (UPDATED)

by Kaia Mursi

Late night shots.UPDATE: This event is actually on WEDNESDAY, people familiar with the Gregorian calendar inform us. SO, uh, there’s still time!
If the funeral you were planning to attend tonight Wednesday has been unexpectedly postponed, won’t you join RNC Chairman Reince Priebus at his 40th Birthday Party/Fundraiser, in the Nation’s Capital? Priebus and buds are holding a “Pints with Reince” event, which looks to be one in a series of events that helpfully misdirect any attempts at correctly pronouncing the Chairman’s name. (Have we been mispronouncing “pints” all this time? Or does “Reince” actually rhyme with “pints?” And how funny is it that Twitter people have figured out “Reince Priebus” minus all the vowels is “RNC PR BS,” in that exact order!) Anyway, if you have $40 burning a hole in your wall safe ($500 if you want actual pints!), you can spend the evening trading bon mots and head lice with Governor Scott Walker, Senator Ron Johnson, and Congressmen Sean Duffy, Paul Ryan, Reid Ribble, Tom Petri, and Jim Sensenbrenner. Dress is “Boat Shoe-Solemn.” [GOP; Facebook]

 
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{ 141 comments }

nounverb911 March 20, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Does the Priebus get good mileage?

actor212 March 20, 2012 at 5:08 pm

By Jeebus, he does!

Let's just look at the extras on this fabulous car! Wire-wheel spoke fenders and two-way sneeze through wind vents, star-studded mud guard, sponge-coated edible steering column, chrome fender dents – and factory air conditioned air from our fully factory-equipped air conditioned factory!

It's a beautiful car, friend, with doors to match! Birch's Blacklist says this car was stolen but for you friend a complete price: only two-ninety-five hundred dollars in easy monthly payments of twenty dollars a week twice a week and never on Sunday!

OzoneTom March 20, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Ralph Spoilsport will be there then?

actor212 March 20, 2012 at 5:20 pm

In the city of….EMPhasema!

James Michael Curley March 20, 2012 at 5:23 pm

If you need gas, just squeeze the fox right there and maybe he'll pass another one..

MilwaukeeKent March 20, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Ah, the sea, and the Andulusian girls with the flowers in their hair…

smokefilledroommate March 20, 2012 at 5:11 pm

You have to wash and reince it every now and then.

Lascauxcaveman March 20, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Does the Priebus get good mileage?

At $500/pint it damn well better!

Sparky McGruff March 20, 2012 at 10:42 pm

You may laugh at it because it looks really dorky… But there's a lot of pre-pubescent boys that have lost their virginity in the back of a Reince Priebus.

nonbeliever7 March 21, 2012 at 8:40 am

Well done sir. Well done.

Negropolis March 21, 2012 at 12:29 am

Well, he's kind of short. The one with the longer legs (The Ryan) get better millage, I hear.

Fare la Volpe March 20, 2012 at 5:04 pm

They say never trust a man with two first names.

I say never trust a man with no names at all.

actor212 March 20, 2012 at 5:12 pm

If your party is run by a guy with a name like an eyechart, you might be a redneck.

Lascauxcaveman March 20, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Maybe it makes sense in Estonian? Kazahk?

Martian?

GunToting[Redacted] March 20, 2012 at 6:10 pm

It sounds lovely in the original Klingon.

Giveusabob March 20, 2012 at 11:55 pm

So his personal motto "Reince Reince, Baby" doesn't engender any trust? Lighten up!

Sharkey March 20, 2012 at 5:06 pm

No thanks. I'd rather … well… almost anything.

Callyson March 20, 2012 at 5:14 pm

"Clean out the toilet" was my first thought…

Fare la Volpe March 20, 2012 at 5:30 pm

"With my tongue"

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ March 20, 2012 at 8:26 pm

"…after a fresh piercing."

Negropolis March 21, 2012 at 12:31 am

"After a flush left a bit of santorum in the bowl."

tihond March 20, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Isn't a Priebus Party that new scary thing all the teens are doing?

Biff March 20, 2012 at 5:48 pm

When you run out of lemons, you got to improvise.

smokefilledroommate March 20, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Lather, Rinse Repeat.. That's what I got outta that.

BornInATrailer March 20, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Ooo "Blather Reince, Repeat" should be the reply to any RNC speech-y thing he does.

Chillatte March 20, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Man, I miss Michael Steele days….the brother really knew how to throw a party (and stiff the GOP with the bill).

Limeylizzie March 20, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Plus, he is sexy, all beautifully dressed and I bet he is a laugh riot.

Chillatte March 20, 2012 at 5:17 pm

I heard his hamster dance is sick!

Callyson March 20, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Really–who wants to be in the company of a lot of boring politicos when one can hang out with dancing lesbians in bondage instead?

Negropolis March 21, 2012 at 12:32 am

I long for the days of lesbian bondage clubs. Verily, those were simpler times.

actor212 March 20, 2012 at 5:08 pm

I would but, uhhhh, I have anal hair that needs bleaching.

Lascauxcaveman March 20, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Pix or get the f…
(Dear God, what am I saying?!)

FROTHY March 21, 2012 at 4:34 am

Srsly, dood. You do NOT want to see the bleached anal hair of a 230-pound man.

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 20, 2012 at 5:08 pm

But will there be a visit to a lesbian bondage club? Who knew you could miss Michael Steele?

Biff March 20, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Brother still here, right on MSNBC, right now. Per tradition, I changed the channel.

Sassomatic March 20, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Chicks with Dicks or GTFO

Callyson March 20, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Ann Coulter is on her way.

Man0nTheStreet March 20, 2012 at 5:16 pm

What do you think "Reince Priebus" is code for?

memzilla March 20, 2012 at 5:08 pm

“Pints with Reince” has to be hosted by LNS, because dickwaddery.

smokefilledroommate March 20, 2012 at 5:10 pm

With a name like that, I'd figure he was turning 70.

BarackMyWorld March 20, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Well, now we know where all the douchebags are gonna be tonight.

Barb March 20, 2012 at 5:22 pm

BMW, they will be standing behind the velvet ropes of Club Happy, hoping to get a glimpse of the birthday boy.

dadanarchist March 20, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Well, now we know where all the douchebags closet cases are gonna be tonight.

AbandonHope March 20, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Man, it would be a shame if a bunch of Republican-led deregulation caused that bar to be unsafe for large gatherings in any way, wouldn't it?

It'd be a damned shame.

chascates March 20, 2012 at 5:12 pm

If there's no sexual harassment toward women at this it's not a GOP birthday party!

Also someone must put on blackface and play a welfare queen/southern slave/current President,

actor212 March 20, 2012 at 5:14 pm

It would almost be worth the $40 if I wouldn't be frisked for my camcorder at the door.

Fare la Volpe March 20, 2012 at 5:13 pm

When Mr. Priebus wakes up in the morning, he claps his hands and orders his maid to put his clothes on him. He calls it a Reince Dressing.

actor212 March 20, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Chunky or creamy?

Fare la Volpe March 20, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Well, he did endorse Santorum…

weej_bain March 20, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Frothy then.

FROTHY March 21, 2012 at 4:39 am

Oi.

Barrelhse March 20, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Blew cheese?

iburl March 20, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Make sure to Reince the Santorum off your Priebus before (and after) you show up.

Man0nTheStreet March 20, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Door Prize: Santorum Surprise!!

weej_bain March 20, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Aren't Priebus one of the things they look for when collecting a rape kit? First the rapey ultrasound in VA. Then the Prejudential candidates pledging to put their rapey hands all over the uteruses of America iffin' they get elected. If the Rethugs get the White House & Senate America's womenz will be needin' rape kits 24/7.

SorosBot March 20, 2012 at 5:19 pm

If your Priebus party lasts longer than four hours, consult your doctor.

edgydrifter March 20, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Don't think of it as $500 to drink with a bunch of insufferable douchebags. Think of it as $500 for a chance to projectile vomit on Scott Walker and Paul Ryan. That's a friggin' bargain, my friend.

Loaded_Pants March 20, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Are you kidding? They are probably used to that & they love it.

AbandonHope March 20, 2012 at 7:29 pm

I'm sure the alcohol is so watered down you'd have to bring your own ipecac to manage any bile at all (so to speak).

JohnnyQuick March 20, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Rinsed Pubis.

Boojum_Reborn March 20, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Rancid Prepuce.

Barb March 20, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Oh hell no! I can get roofied and violated without paying a cover charge, thank you!

AbandonHope March 20, 2012 at 7:33 pm

You been visiting Allegedly James O'Keefe?

iburl March 20, 2012 at 11:18 pm

♫ ♪ The Pimp booooat, soon you'll be taking another ride! ♫ ♪
♫ ♪ The Pimp booooat, your drink's got roofies and more inside! ♫ ♪

Schmannnity March 20, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Boat shoe solemn? I guess I'll have to go home and change from white buck bubbly.

Man0nTheStreet March 20, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Hey Mods! How did I lose a p-point for the last comment?

Doktor StrangeZoom March 20, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Pee goes up, pee goes down. You can't explain it.

smokefilledroommate March 20, 2012 at 10:18 pm

How'd the pee get there? Huh? Who put it there?

ph7 March 20, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Special Guest: Scott Walker? Time to email the invite to the SEIU and AFL-CIO headquarters, both about 20 blocks away from this bar!

Terry March 20, 2012 at 5:44 pm

That would make my day, actually

Barrelhse March 20, 2012 at 5:26 pm

RINSE PREPUCE 2012!!

NYNYNYjr March 20, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Santorum Reince Priebus is Latin for "Beware of Greeks bearing gifts"

BarackMyWorld March 20, 2012 at 5:35 pm

How do you say "Beware of Geeks bearing gifts"?

Boojum_Reborn March 20, 2012 at 7:15 pm

I thought it was "Beware of Sleeping On Your Stomach Around Greeks".

Jerri March 20, 2012 at 5:32 pm

I don't want to ruin beer drinking by associating it with all those evil chuds, thank you very much.

Numbat_Dundee March 20, 2012 at 6:36 pm

I think you'll find they won't beb drinking beer. Pints of the blood of the oppressed are the go at these sort of gatherings.

Loaded_Pants March 20, 2012 at 7:16 pm

No, no. The blood drinkin' comes later & it's $1K a pint.

FROTHY March 21, 2012 at 4:41 am

You know our politicians well, I see.

HippieEsq March 20, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Even for a Tuesday Night in DC, and even if you WERE a Republican, this would be a terrible party. Too many hair plugs, not enough bongos (by which I mean blonde empty-headed WI farm girls).

Man0nTheStreet March 20, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Maybe the Log Cabin Repukes will send a few of their new blonde intern "gurls" to take a few for the team…

tessiee March 20, 2012 at 9:53 pm

"not enough bongos"

Not enough bongs, either.

HippieEsq March 20, 2012 at 11:38 pm

At the RNC, correct. But in my living room, we're golden.

FROTHY March 21, 2012 at 4:45 am

Um, so, can we plan on visiting you anytime soon?

Negropolis March 21, 2012 at 12:36 am

And not nearly enough dongs. After all, we are talking about male Republicans, here.

IceCreamEmpress March 20, 2012 at 5:35 pm

If there's any justice in the world, both "Reince" and "Priebus" rhyme with "penis".

Preferred Customer March 20, 2012 at 5:37 pm

You know who ELSE used gothic Germanic fonts in his banners and enjoyed hanging out in beer halls?

Doktor StrangeZoom March 20, 2012 at 5:52 pm

I… I know this…Stop putsching me for an answer!

RadioStalingrad March 20, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Pope Ratzi?

Tundra Grifter March 20, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Thor?

horsedreamer_1 March 20, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Lemmy?

HippieEsq March 20, 2012 at 11:41 pm

Obama, Ailes and the Mailman?

FROTHY March 21, 2012 at 4:46 am

If anyone else says "Hitler," I swear …

billy_reuben March 21, 2012 at 7:51 am

Ghandi?

BaldarTFlagass March 21, 2012 at 8:52 am

The Dalai Lama?

James Michael Curley March 20, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Give the guy a break. With a name like that you know he came out of gym class with his underwear over his head more times then not.

Man0nTheStreet March 20, 2012 at 5:51 pm

After he was in the lockerroom holding other boys' underwear over his nose, breathing deep…

glamourdammerung March 20, 2012 at 5:40 pm

I wonder how much of the entertainment is going to be in blackface.

Man0nTheStreet March 20, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Michael Steele's not invited!

Negropolis March 21, 2012 at 12:37 am

Oh, all of them, Kat…

FROTHY March 21, 2012 at 4:46 am

All of it, Katie?

OneYieldRegular March 20, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Please tell me "pints" and "Reince" don't rhyme.

owhatever March 20, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Since things are getting pretty busy with Iran and Hoops and Peyton Manning, can the President just call Reince now and apologize in advance?

fuflans March 20, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Text UNITE to 91919 to learn more about the GOP’s Mobile Army

that's awful wishful thinking for fat while people on scooters.

Preferred Customer March 20, 2012 at 6:05 pm

It's better than the old ad that used to advise you to Text UNITE to 91919 to learn more about the GOP’s Dick Armey.

Boojum_Reborn March 20, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Better, because less true.

FROTHY March 21, 2012 at 4:47 am

Rest assured, their Dick Army is WAY bigger than their mobile army.

Mumbletypeg March 20, 2012 at 5:47 pm

I can't begrudge a Reince Priebus a pint-swillin' good time any more than the next fanciful critter. May they whang-dang-doodle all night long — if they get it drunk enough maybe it'll show 'em its sweet tooth.

Rotundo_ March 20, 2012 at 5:48 pm

With that lineup I would have thought this would be at a titty bar on the south side of Milwaukee near Mitchell Field, with a two drink minimum instead of a 500 buck charge to drink with the assholes. They could probably get a couple of beers at a place like that. In Madison, they'd get their asses kicked into mush.

Negropolis March 21, 2012 at 12:43 am

Silly. There are far too many blahs and Messicans in Milwaukee for them to hold their event, there.

horsedreamer_1 March 21, 2012 at 12:49 am

Airport Lounge Libel!!!

But, if the state GOP did gothere, ther are, conveniently, male exotic dancers in the lower level.

ElPinche March 20, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Will Mexicans and Blacks be allowed ? (not required to provide goods and services)

Doktor StrangeZoom March 20, 2012 at 5:51 pm

"Pints With Reince" stubbornly refuses to become the new "Fox In Sox"

weej_bain March 20, 2012 at 6:04 pm

OT

The Saloon reports that Frothy Rick is all wrong when he says that "a wealth of research" shows porn "causes profound brain changes." So rest easy Wonketeers and keep downloading yer terabytes of porn. Your brain won't turn into a clone of Chuck Norris' fecal grey matter.

AbandonHope March 20, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Chuck Norris doesn't generate fecal matter. It just keeps collecting in him.

horsedreamer_1 March 20, 2012 at 7:52 pm

So, ODB did sew an asshole's asshole shut.

MissTaken March 20, 2012 at 6:09 pm

♫ Ain't No Party
Like a Reince Priebus Party
Cause a Reince Priebus Party
Don't Stop! ♫

GunToting[Redacted] March 20, 2012 at 6:12 pm

I know the calendar disagrees, but the weather is PERFECT for my Seersucker.

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 20, 2012 at 6:24 pm

You know, somewhere on the outskirts of DC, tomorrow, some big money GOP type is going to be waking up, holding his aching head, and saying to himself "My God, what did I drink last night? It must of been a lot, because I woke up with a Reince in my Priebus."

dadanarchist March 20, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Is this the return of Late Night Shots, much beloved douchebag/asshole/wingnut/date-rapist convergence?

Gawd, I hope so – that was a snark-rich environment.

RadioStalingrad March 20, 2012 at 6:37 pm

They are all going to circle jerk to the Ryan Budget — with a buttsechs bonus round when they get to the tax cuts to the job creators.

Boojum_Reborn March 20, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Vomit, Reince, repeat.

Suds with Priebus.

fitley March 20, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Actually the party is in the bathroom stall in the men's room. Outside the stall is open to the public.

weej_bain March 20, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Dear Editrix, can you give ib.adnxs.com some amphetamines? That site is soooooooo sloooooooow. Thnx

Graham Cracker March 20, 2012 at 6:56 pm

I guess that all the Rent Boys in D.C will be booked tonight.

Monsieur_Grumpe March 20, 2012 at 7:00 pm

That's quite a list of people I'd rather not have a beer with. Anyway, I think I'm doing my hair that night. What night is it? Yeah, that night.

Tundra Grifter March 20, 2012 at 7:10 pm

I'm guessing Reince is a few pints short of a quart.

docterry6973 March 20, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Since I don't think I could work a 'stand your ground' defense, i would prefer to gouge out my left eye instead.

finallyhappy March 20, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Goosh, maybe it was one of these guys who sat down at my table in the food court, asked what I was eating in a heavy southern accent(some crazy ethnic stuff- no good ol American hamburger for me) and so I gave him some of my lunch(he was well dressed and groomed) He offered to pay for what he ate- I said no. He was not trying to pick me up- I am old. I think it was a novelty thing for him- I was uncomfortable- but didn't know what to do. I deal with homeless people all the time- not curious southern guys who have never seen papad or pakora before.

Dashboard Buddha March 20, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Was there was too much pepper in the paprikash?

Dashboard Buddha March 20, 2012 at 7:26 pm

When he's forced to talk to the baggers they call it lather, Reince, and repeat.

horsedreamer_1 March 20, 2012 at 7:53 pm

With Sean Duffy there, I have to ask: will TJ Lavin be there to taunt them about killing the health care law?

Jukesgrrl March 20, 2012 at 7:55 pm

I hope they all have a wonnerful, wonnerful time (as an old person with his own orchestra used to say). May there be raucous hilarity, drunken hijinks, sexual shenanigans, and many, many cell phones with cameras AND video.

$40 to get near Scott Walker??? Jesus, if I only still lived in DC …

rocktonsam March 20, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Pass

johnnyzhivago March 20, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Reince Preibus??? Long Form Birth Certificate or GTFO!

MilwaukeeKent March 20, 2012 at 9:58 pm

It's an old trick, but effectively-forged free tickets, many of them, distributed in select DC neighborhoods….It would have been worth the lawsuit.

Negropolis March 21, 2012 at 12:22 am

…Governor Scott Walker, Senator Ron Johnson, and Congressmen Sean Duffy, Paul Ryan, Reid Ribble, Tom Petri, and Jim Sensenbrenner.

Thank you, the one they call Kaia, for reminding me exactly how many shitty politicians the state of Wisconsin has elected in recent times.

Someone really needs to send over a few rentboys to this party.

horsedreamer_1 March 21, 2012 at 12:52 am

Tommy Thompson & the Fitzgeralds not making the cut is shocking.

But that recently resigned (to avoid the FAIL of being recalled; also, "to spend time ith her family", i.e. take a six figure job with, say, the mining lobby) state senator from Wausau will be there giving handies.

dennis1943 March 21, 2012 at 6:08 am

Rheinhold is 40?………….

ttommyunger March 21, 2012 at 8:13 am

A perfect Republican Trifecta this election year: Led by someone with an unpronounceable name by Candidates with unfathomable policies funded by unconscionable assholes. Yer welcome.

LiveToServeYa March 21, 2012 at 9:33 am

I'd be happy to have a Rint with Piebus, or whatever, if he buys it.

DahBoner March 21, 2012 at 10:06 am

Help celebrate the death of the Republican party!

Will Michael Steele be bringing drinks and snacks around?

OH BOY! MORE SHIT ON A SHINGLE! CHOP, CHOP!

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