get drunk before and after

Go Party With RNC Chairman Reince Priebus WEDNESDAY! (UPDATED)

Late night shots.UPDATE: This event is actually on WEDNESDAY, people familiar with the Gregorian calendar inform us. SO, uh, there’s still time!
If the funeral you were planning to attend tonight Wednesday has been unexpectedly postponed, won’t you join RNC Chairman Reince Priebus at his 40th Birthday Party/Fundraiser, in the Nation’s Capital? Priebus and buds are holding a “Pints with Reince” event, which looks to be one in a series of events that helpfully misdirect any attempts at correctly pronouncing the Chairman’s name. (Have we been mispronouncing “pints” all this time? Or does “Reince” actually rhyme with “pints?” And how funny is it that Twitter people have figured out “Reince Priebus” minus all the vowels is “RNC PR BS,” in that exact order!) Anyway, if you have $40 burning a hole in your wall safe ($500 if you want actual pints!), you can spend the evening trading bon mots and head lice with Governor Scott Walker, Senator Ron Johnson, and Congressmen Sean Duffy, Paul Ryan, Reid Ribble, Tom Petri, and Jim Sensenbrenner. Dress is “Boat Shoe-Solemn.” [GOP; Facebook]

Comments

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  • nounverb911

    Does the Priebus get good mileage?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      By Jeebus, he does!

      Let's just look at the extras on this fabulous car! Wire-wheel spoke fenders and two-way sneeze through wind vents, star-studded mud guard, sponge-coated edible steering column, chrome fender dents – and factory air conditioned air from our fully factory-equipped air conditioned factory!

      It's a beautiful car, friend, with doors to match! Birch's Blacklist says this car was stolen but for you friend a complete price: only two-ninety-five hundred dollars in easy monthly payments of twenty dollars a week twice a week and never on Sunday!

      • OzoneTom

        Ralph Spoilsport will be there then?

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          In the city of….EMPhasema!

      • James Michael Curley

        If you need gas, just squeeze the fox right there and maybe he'll pass another one..

      • MilwaukeeKent

        Ah, the sea, and the Andulusian girls with the flowers in their hair…

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      You have to wash and reince it every now and then.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Does the Priebus get good mileage?

      At $500/pint it damn well better!

    • Sparky McGruff

      You may laugh at it because it looks really dorky… But there's a lot of pre-pubescent boys that have lost their virginity in the back of a Reince Priebus.

      • nonbeliever7

        Well done sir. Well done.

    • Negropolis

      Well, he's kind of short. The one with the longer legs (The Ryan) get better millage, I hear.

  • Fare la Volpe

    They say never trust a man with two first names.

    I say never trust a man with no names at all.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      If your party is run by a guy with a name like an eyechart, you might be a redneck.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Maybe it makes sense in Estonian? Kazahk?

      Martian?

      • GunToting[Redacted]

        It sounds lovely in the original Klingon.

    • Giveusabob

      So his personal motto "Reince Reince, Baby" doesn't engender any trust? Lighten up!

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    No thanks. I'd rather … well… almost anything.

    • Callyson

      "Clean out the toilet" was my first thought…

      • Fare la Volpe

        "With my tongue"

        • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

          "…after a fresh piercing."

        • Negropolis

          "After a flush left a bit of santorum in the bowl."

  • tihond

    Isn't a Priebus Party that new scary thing all the teens are doing?

    • Biff

      When you run out of lemons, you got to improvise.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Lather, Rinse Repeat.. That's what I got outta that.

    • BornInATrailer

      Ooo "Blather Reince, Repeat" should be the reply to any RNC speech-y thing he does.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Chillatte

    Man, I miss Michael Steele days….the brother really knew how to throw a party (and stiff the GOP with the bill).

    • Limeylizzie

      Plus, he is sexy, all beautifully dressed and I bet he is a laugh riot.

      • http://www.wonkette.com Chillatte

        I heard his hamster dance is sick!

    • Callyson

      Really–who wants to be in the company of a lot of boring politicos when one can hang out with dancing lesbians in bondage instead?

    • Negropolis

      I long for the days of lesbian bondage clubs. Verily, those were simpler times.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    I would but, uhhhh, I have anal hair that needs bleaching.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Pix or get the f…
      (Dear God, what am I saying?!)

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Srsly, dood. You do NOT want to see the bleached anal hair of a 230-pound man.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    But will there be a visit to a lesbian bondage club? Who knew you could miss Michael Steele?

    • Biff

      Brother still here, right on MSNBC, right now. Per tradition, I changed the channel.

  • Sassomatic

    Chicks with Dicks or GTFO

    • Callyson

      Ann Coulter is on her way.

    • Man0nTheStreet

      What do you think "Reince Priebus" is code for?

  • memzilla

    “Pints with Reince” has to be hosted by LNS, because dickwaddery.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    With a name like that, I'd figure he was turning 70.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Well, now we know where all the douchebags are gonna be tonight.

    • Barb

      BMW, they will be standing behind the velvet ropes of Club Happy, hoping to get a glimpse of the birthday boy.

    • dadanarchist

      Well, now we know where all the douchebags closet cases are gonna be tonight.

    • AbandonHope

      Man, it would be a shame if a bunch of Republican-led deregulation caused that bar to be unsafe for large gatherings in any way, wouldn't it?

      It'd be a damned shame.

  • chascates

    If there's no sexual harassment toward women at this it's not a GOP birthday party!

    Also someone must put on blackface and play a welfare queen/southern slave/current President,

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      It would almost be worth the $40 if I wouldn't be frisked for my camcorder at the door.

  • Fare la Volpe

    When Mr. Priebus wakes up in the morning, he claps his hands and orders his maid to put his clothes on him. He calls it a Reince Dressing.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Chunky or creamy?

      • Fare la Volpe

        Well, he did endorse Santorum…

        • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

          Frothy then.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

            Oi.

    • Barrelhse

      Blew cheese?

  • iburl

    Make sure to Reince the Santorum off your Priebus before (and after) you show up.

  • Man0nTheStreet

    Door Prize: Santorum Surprise!!

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    Aren't Priebus one of the things they look for when collecting a rape kit? First the rapey ultrasound in VA. Then the Prejudential candidates pledging to put their rapey hands all over the uteruses of America iffin' they get elected. If the Rethugs get the White House & Senate America's womenz will be needin' rape kits 24/7.

  • SorosBot

    If your Priebus party lasts longer than four hours, consult your doctor.

  • edgydrifter

    Don't think of it as $500 to drink with a bunch of insufferable douchebags. Think of it as $500 for a chance to projectile vomit on Scott Walker and Paul Ryan. That's a friggin' bargain, my friend.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Are you kidding? They are probably used to that & they love it.

    • AbandonHope

      I'm sure the alcohol is so watered down you'd have to bring your own ipecac to manage any bile at all (so to speak).

  • JohnnyQuick

    Rinsed Pubis.

    • Boojum_Reborn

      Rancid Prepuce.

  • Barb

    Oh hell no! I can get roofied and violated without paying a cover charge, thank you!

    • AbandonHope

      You been visiting Allegedly James O'Keefe?

      • iburl

        ♫ ♪ The Pimp booooat, soon you'll be taking another ride! ♫ ♪
        ♫ ♪ The Pimp booooat, your drink's got roofies and more inside! ♫ ♪

  • Schmannnity

    Boat shoe solemn? I guess I'll have to go home and change from white buck bubbly.

  • Man0nTheStreet

    Hey Mods! How did I lose a p-point for the last comment?

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      Pee goes up, pee goes down. You can't explain it.

      • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        How'd the pee get there? Huh? Who put it there?

  • ph7

    Special Guest: Scott Walker? Time to email the invite to the SEIU and AFL-CIO headquarters, both about 20 blocks away from this bar!

    • Terry

      That would make my day, actually

  • Barrelhse

    RINSE PREPUCE 2012!!

  • NYNYNYjr

    Santorum Reince Priebus is Latin for "Beware of Greeks bearing gifts"

    • BarackMyWorld

      How do you say "Beware of Geeks bearing gifts"?

    • Boojum_Reborn

      I thought it was "Beware of Sleeping On Your Stomach Around Greeks".

  • Jerri

    I don't want to ruin beer drinking by associating it with all those evil chuds, thank you very much.

    • Numbat_Dundee

      I think you'll find they won't beb drinking beer. Pints of the blood of the oppressed are the go at these sort of gatherings.

      • Loaded_Pants

        No, no. The blood drinkin' comes later & it's $1K a pint.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        You know our politicians well, I see.

  • HippieEsq

    Even for a Tuesday Night in DC, and even if you WERE a Republican, this would be a terrible party. Too many hair plugs, not enough bongos (by which I mean blonde empty-headed WI farm girls).

    • Man0nTheStreet

      Maybe the Log Cabin Repukes will send a few of their new blonde intern "gurls" to take a few for the team…

    • tessiee

      "not enough bongos"

      Not enough bongs, either.

      • HippieEsq

        At the RNC, correct. But in my living room, we're golden.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

          Um, so, can we plan on visiting you anytime soon?

      • Negropolis

        And not nearly enough dongs. After all, we are talking about male Republicans, here.

  • IceCreamEmpress

    If there's any justice in the world, both "Reince" and "Priebus" rhyme with "penis".

  • Preferred Customer

    You know who ELSE used gothic Germanic fonts in his banners and enjoyed hanging out in beer halls?

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      I… I know this…Stop putsching me for an answer!

    • RadioStalingrad

      Pope Ratzi?

    • Tundra Grifter

      Thor?

    • horsedreamer_1

      Lemmy?

    • HippieEsq

      Obama, Ailes and the Mailman?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      If anyone else says "Hitler," I swear …

    • billy_reuben

      Ghandi?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      The Dalai Lama?

  • James Michael Curley

    Give the guy a break. With a name like that you know he came out of gym class with his underwear over his head more times then not.

    • Man0nTheStreet

      After he was in the lockerroom holding other boys' underwear over his nose, breathing deep…

  • http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39308_Breitbarts_Fans_Spew_Racism_Call_for_President_Obama_t glamourdammerung

    I wonder how much of the entertainment is going to be in blackface.

    • Man0nTheStreet

      Michael Steele's not invited!

    • Negropolis

      Oh, all of them, Kat…

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

      All of it, Katie?

  • OneYieldRegular

    Please tell me "pints" and "Reince" don't rhyme.

  • owhatever

    Since things are getting pretty busy with Iran and Hoops and Peyton Manning, can the President just call Reince now and apologize in advance?

  • fuflans

    Text UNITE to 91919 to learn more about the GOP’s Mobile Army

    that's awful wishful thinking for fat while people on scooters.

    • Preferred Customer

      It's better than the old ad that used to advise you to Text UNITE to 91919 to learn more about the GOP’s Dick Armey.

      • Boojum_Reborn

        Better, because less true.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com FROTHY

        Rest assured, their Dick Army is WAY bigger than their mobile army.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    I can't begrudge a Reince Priebus a pint-swillin' good time any more than the next fanciful critter. May they whang-dang-doodle all night long — if they get it drunk enough maybe it'll show 'em its sweet tooth.

  • Rotundo_

    With that lineup I would have thought this would be at a titty bar on the south side of Milwaukee near Mitchell Field, with a two drink minimum instead of a 500 buck charge to drink with the assholes. They could probably get a couple of beers at a place like that. In Madison, they'd get their asses kicked into mush.

    • Negropolis

      Silly. There are far too many blahs and Messicans in Milwaukee for them to hold their event, there.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Airport Lounge Libel!!!

      But, if the state GOP did gothere, ther are, conveniently, male exotic dancers in the lower level.

  • ElPinche

    Will Mexicans and Blacks be allowed ? (not required to provide goods and services)

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    "Pints With Reince" stubbornly refuses to become the new "Fox In Sox"

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    OT

    The Saloon reports that Frothy Rick is all wrong when he says that "a wealth of research" shows porn "causes profound brain changes." So rest easy Wonketeers and keep downloading yer terabytes of porn. Your brain won't turn into a clone of Chuck Norris' fecal grey matter.

    • AbandonHope

      Chuck Norris doesn't generate fecal matter. It just keeps collecting in him.

      • horsedreamer_1

        So, ODB did sew an asshole's asshole shut.

  • MissTaken

    ♫ Ain't No Party
    Like a Reince Priebus Party
    Cause a Reince Priebus Party
    Don't Stop! ♫

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    I know the calendar disagrees, but the weather is PERFECT for my Seersucker.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You know, somewhere on the outskirts of DC, tomorrow, some big money GOP type is going to be waking up, holding his aching head, and saying to himself "My God, what did I drink last night? It must of been a lot, because I woke up with a Reince in my Priebus."

  • dadanarchist

    Is this the return of Late Night Shots, much beloved douchebag/asshole/wingnut/date-rapist convergence?

    Gawd, I hope so – that was a snark-rich environment.

  • RadioStalingrad

    They are all going to circle jerk to the Ryan Budget — with a buttsechs bonus round when they get to the tax cuts to the job creators.

  • Boojum_Reborn

    Vomit, Reince, repeat.

    Suds with Priebus.

  • fitley

    Actually the party is in the bathroom stall in the men's room. Outside the stall is open to the public.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    Dear Editrix, can you give ib.adnxs.com some amphetamines? That site is soooooooo sloooooooow. Thnx

  • Graham Cracker

    I guess that all the Rent Boys in D.C will be booked tonight.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    That's quite a list of people I'd rather not have a beer with. Anyway, I think I'm doing my hair that night. What night is it? Yeah, that night.

  • Tundra Grifter

    I'm guessing Reince is a few pints short of a quart.

  • docterry6973

    Since I don't think I could work a 'stand your ground' defense, i would prefer to gouge out my left eye instead.

  • finallyhappy

    Goosh, maybe it was one of these guys who sat down at my table in the food court, asked what I was eating in a heavy southern accent(some crazy ethnic stuff- no good ol American hamburger for me) and so I gave him some of my lunch(he was well dressed and groomed) He offered to pay for what he ate- I said no. He was not trying to pick me up- I am old. I think it was a novelty thing for him- I was uncomfortable- but didn't know what to do. I deal with homeless people all the time- not curious southern guys who have never seen papad or pakora before.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Was there was too much pepper in the paprikash?

  • Dashboard Buddha

    When he's forced to talk to the baggers they call it lather, Reince, and repeat.

  • horsedreamer_1

    With Sean Duffy there, I have to ask: will TJ Lavin be there to taunt them about killing the health care law?

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    I hope they all have a wonnerful, wonnerful time (as an old person with his own orchestra used to say). May there be raucous hilarity, drunken hijinks, sexual shenanigans, and many, many cell phones with cameras AND video.

    $40 to get near Scott Walker??? Jesus, if I only still lived in DC …

  • rocktonsam

    Pass

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Reince Preibus??? Long Form Birth Certificate or GTFO!

  • MilwaukeeKent

    It's an old trick, but effectively-forged free tickets, many of them, distributed in select DC neighborhoods….It would have been worth the lawsuit.

  • Negropolis

    …Governor Scott Walker, Senator Ron Johnson, and Congressmen Sean Duffy, Paul Ryan, Reid Ribble, Tom Petri, and Jim Sensenbrenner.

    Thank you, the one they call Kaia, for reminding me exactly how many shitty politicians the state of Wisconsin has elected in recent times.

    Someone really needs to send over a few rentboys to this party.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Tommy Thompson & the Fitzgeralds not making the cut is shocking.

      But that recently resigned (to avoid the FAIL of being recalled; also, "to spend time ith her family", i.e. take a six figure job with, say, the mining lobby) state senator from Wausau will be there giving handies.

  • dennis1943

    Rheinhold is 40?………….

  • ttommyunger

    A perfect Republican Trifecta this election year: Led by someone with an unpronounceable name by Candidates with unfathomable policies funded by unconscionable assholes. Yer welcome.

  • LiveToServeYa

    I'd be happy to have a Rint with Piebus, or whatever, if he buys it.

  • DahBoner

    Help celebrate the death of the Republican party!

    Will Michael Steele be bringing drinks and snacks around?

    OH BOY! MORE SHIT ON A SHINGLE! CHOP, CHOP!