get drunk before and after

Go Party With RNC Chairman Reince Priebus WEDNESDAY! (UPDATED)

Late night shots.UPDATE: This event is actually on WEDNESDAY, people familiar with the Gregorian calendar inform us. SO, uh, there’s still time!
If the funeral you were planning to attend tonight Wednesday has been unexpectedly postponed, won’t you join RNC Chairman Reince Priebus at his 40th Birthday Party/Fundraiser, in the Nation’s Capital? Priebus and buds are holding a “Pints with Reince” event, which looks to be one in a series of events that helpfully misdirect any attempts at correctly pronouncing the Chairman’s name. (Have we been mispronouncing “pints” all this time? Or does “Reince” actually rhyme with “pints?” And how funny is it that Twitter people have figured out “Reince Priebus” minus all the vowels is “RNC PR BS,” in that exact order!) Anyway, if you have $40 burning a hole in your wall safe ($500 if you want actual pints!), you can spend the evening trading bon mots and head lice with Governor Scott Walker, Senator Ron Johnson, and Congressmen Sean Duffy, Paul Ryan, Reid Ribble, Tom Petri, and Jim Sensenbrenner. Dress is “Boat Shoe-Solemn.” [GOP; Facebook]

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Hola wonkerados.

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141 comments

    1. actor212

      By Jeebus, he does!

      Let's just look at the extras on this fabulous car! Wire-wheel spoke fenders and two-way sneeze through wind vents, star-studded mud guard, sponge-coated edible steering column, chrome fender dents – and factory air conditioned air from our fully factory-equipped air conditioned factory!

      It's a beautiful car, friend, with doors to match! Birch's Blacklist says this car was stolen but for you friend a complete price: only two-ninety-five hundred dollars in easy monthly payments of twenty dollars a week twice a week and never on Sunday!

      1. James Michael Curley

        If you need gas, just squeeze the fox right there and maybe he'll pass another one..

    2. Sparky McGruff

      You may laugh at it because it looks really dorky… But there's a lot of pre-pubescent boys that have lost their virginity in the back of a Reince Priebus.

    3. Negropolis

      Well, he's kind of short. The one with the longer legs (The Ryan) get better millage, I hear.

  1. Fare la Volpe

    They say never trust a man with two first names.

    I say never trust a man with no names at all.

    1. BornInATrailer

      Ooo "Blather Reince, Repeat" should be the reply to any RNC speech-y thing he does.

    1. Callyson

      Really–who wants to be in the company of a lot of boring politicos when one can hang out with dancing lesbians in bondage instead?

  2. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    But will there be a visit to a lesbian bondage club? Who knew you could miss Michael Steele?

    1. Barb

      BMW, they will be standing behind the velvet ropes of Club Happy, hoping to get a glimpse of the birthday boy.

    2. AbandonHope

      Man, it would be a shame if a bunch of Republican-led deregulation caused that bar to be unsafe for large gatherings in any way, wouldn't it?

      It'd be a damned shame.

  3. chascates

    If there's no sexual harassment toward women at this it's not a GOP birthday party!

    Also someone must put on blackface and play a welfare queen/southern slave/current President,

  4. Fare la Volpe

    When Mr. Priebus wakes up in the morning, he claps his hands and orders his maid to put his clothes on him. He calls it a Reince Dressing.

  5. weej_bain

    Aren't Priebus one of the things they look for when collecting a rape kit? First the rapey ultrasound in VA. Then the Prejudential candidates pledging to put their rapey hands all over the uteruses of America iffin' they get elected. If the Rethugs get the White House & Senate America's womenz will be needin' rape kits 24/7.

  6. edgydrifter

    Don't think of it as $500 to drink with a bunch of insufferable douchebags. Think of it as $500 for a chance to projectile vomit on Scott Walker and Paul Ryan. That's a friggin' bargain, my friend.

    1. AbandonHope

      I'm sure the alcohol is so watered down you'd have to bring your own ipecac to manage any bile at all (so to speak).

      1. iburl

        ♫ ♪ The Pimp booooat, soon you'll be taking another ride! ♫ ♪
        ♫ ♪ The Pimp booooat, your drink's got roofies and more inside! ♫ ♪

  7. ph7

    Special Guest: Scott Walker? Time to email the invite to the SEIU and AFL-CIO headquarters, both about 20 blocks away from this bar!

  8. Jerri

    I don't want to ruin beer drinking by associating it with all those evil chuds, thank you very much.

    1. Numbat_Dundee

      I think you'll find they won't beb drinking beer. Pints of the blood of the oppressed are the go at these sort of gatherings.

  9. HippieEsq

    Even for a Tuesday Night in DC, and even if you WERE a Republican, this would be a terrible party. Too many hair plugs, not enough bongos (by which I mean blonde empty-headed WI farm girls).

    1. Man0nTheStreet

      Maybe the Log Cabin Repukes will send a few of their new blonde intern "gurls" to take a few for the team…

  10. IceCreamEmpress

    If there's any justice in the world, both "Reince" and "Priebus" rhyme with "penis".

  11. Preferred Customer

    You know who ELSE used gothic Germanic fonts in his banners and enjoyed hanging out in beer halls?

  12. James Michael Curley

    Give the guy a break. With a name like that you know he came out of gym class with his underwear over his head more times then not.

    1. Man0nTheStreet

      After he was in the lockerroom holding other boys' underwear over his nose, breathing deep…

  13. owhatever

    Since things are getting pretty busy with Iran and Hoops and Peyton Manning, can the President just call Reince now and apologize in advance?

  14. fuflans

    Text UNITE to 91919 to learn more about the GOP’s Mobile Army

    that's awful wishful thinking for fat while people on scooters.

    1. Preferred Customer

      It's better than the old ad that used to advise you to Text UNITE to 91919 to learn more about the GOP’s Dick Armey.

  15. Mumbletypeg

    I can't begrudge a Reince Priebus a pint-swillin' good time any more than the next fanciful critter. May they whang-dang-doodle all night long — if they get it drunk enough maybe it'll show 'em its sweet tooth.

  16. Rotundo_

    With that lineup I would have thought this would be at a titty bar on the south side of Milwaukee near Mitchell Field, with a two drink minimum instead of a 500 buck charge to drink with the assholes. They could probably get a couple of beers at a place like that. In Madison, they'd get their asses kicked into mush.

    1. Negropolis

      Silly. There are far too many blahs and Messicans in Milwaukee for them to hold their event, there.

    2. horsedreamer_1

      Airport Lounge Libel!!!

      But, if the state GOP did gothere, ther are, conveniently, male exotic dancers in the lower level.

  17. MissTaken

    ♫ Ain't No Party
    Like a Reince Priebus Party
    Cause a Reince Priebus Party
    Don't Stop! ♫

  18. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You know, somewhere on the outskirts of DC, tomorrow, some big money GOP type is going to be waking up, holding his aching head, and saying to himself "My God, what did I drink last night? It must of been a lot, because I woke up with a Reince in my Priebus."

  19. RadioStalingrad

    They are all going to circle jerk to the Ryan Budget — with a buttsechs bonus round when they get to the tax cuts to the job creators.

  20. fitley

    Actually the party is in the bathroom stall in the men's room. Outside the stall is open to the public.

  21. Monsieur_Grumpe

    That's quite a list of people I'd rather not have a beer with. Anyway, I think I'm doing my hair that night. What night is it? Yeah, that night.

  22. docterry6973

    Since I don't think I could work a 'stand your ground' defense, i would prefer to gouge out my left eye instead.

  23. finallyhappy

    Goosh, maybe it was one of these guys who sat down at my table in the food court, asked what I was eating in a heavy southern accent(some crazy ethnic stuff- no good ol American hamburger for me) and so I gave him some of my lunch(he was well dressed and groomed) He offered to pay for what he ate- I said no. He was not trying to pick me up- I am old. I think it was a novelty thing for him- I was uncomfortable- but didn't know what to do. I deal with homeless people all the time- not curious southern guys who have never seen papad or pakora before.

  24. horsedreamer_1

    With Sean Duffy there, I have to ask: will TJ Lavin be there to taunt them about killing the health care law?

  25. Jukesgrrl

    I hope they all have a wonnerful, wonnerful time (as an old person with his own orchestra used to say). May there be raucous hilarity, drunken hijinks, sexual shenanigans, and many, many cell phones with cameras AND video.

    $40 to get near Scott Walker??? Jesus, if I only still lived in DC …

  26. MilwaukeeKent

    It's an old trick, but effectively-forged free tickets, many of them, distributed in select DC neighborhoods….It would have been worth the lawsuit.

  27. Negropolis

    …Governor Scott Walker, Senator Ron Johnson, and Congressmen Sean Duffy, Paul Ryan, Reid Ribble, Tom Petri, and Jim Sensenbrenner.

    Thank you, the one they call Kaia, for reminding me exactly how many shitty politicians the state of Wisconsin has elected in recent times.

    Someone really needs to send over a few rentboys to this party.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Tommy Thompson & the Fitzgeralds not making the cut is shocking.

      But that recently resigned (to avoid the FAIL of being recalled; also, "to spend time ith her family", i.e. take a six figure job with, say, the mining lobby) state senator from Wausau will be there giving handies.

  28. ttommyunger

    A perfect Republican Trifecta this election year: Led by someone with an unpronounceable name by Candidates with unfathomable policies funded by unconscionable assholes. Yer welcome.

  29. DahBoner

    Help celebrate the death of the Republican party!

    Will Michael Steele be bringing drinks and snacks around?

    OH BOY! MORE SHIT ON A SHINGLE! CHOP, CHOP!

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