UPDATE: This event is actually on WEDNESDAY, people familiar with the Gregorian calendar inform us. SO, uh, there’s still time!
If the funeral you were planning to attend tonight Wednesday has been unexpectedly postponed, won’t you join RNC Chairman Reince Priebus at his 40th Birthday Party/Fundraiser, in the Nation’s Capital? Priebus and buds are holding a “Pints with Reince” event, which looks to be one in a series of events that helpfully misdirect any attempts at correctly pronouncing the Chairman’s name. (Have we been mispronouncing “pints” all this time? Or does “Reince” actually rhyme with “pints?” And how funny is it that Twitter people have figured out “Reince Priebus” minus all the vowels is “RNC PR BS,” in that exact order!) Anyway, if you have $40 burning a hole in your wall safe ($500 if you want actual pints!), you can spend the evening trading bon mots and head lice with Governor Scott Walker, Senator Ron Johnson, and Congressmen Sean Duffy, Paul Ryan, Reid Ribble, Tom Petri, and Jim Sensenbrenner. Dress is “Boat Shoe-Solemn.” [GOP; Facebook]
GET DRUNK BEFORE AND AFTER 5:01 pm March 20, 2012
Go Party With RNC Chairman Reince Priebus WEDNESDAY! (UPDATED)
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{ 141 comments }
Does the Priebus get good mileage?
By Jeebus, he does!
Let's just look at the extras on this fabulous car! Wire-wheel spoke fenders and two-way sneeze through wind vents, star-studded mud guard, sponge-coated edible steering column, chrome fender dents – and factory air conditioned air from our fully factory-equipped air conditioned factory!
It's a beautiful car, friend, with doors to match! Birch's Blacklist says this car was stolen but for you friend a complete price: only two-ninety-five hundred dollars in easy monthly payments of twenty dollars a week twice a week and never on Sunday!
Ralph Spoilsport will be there then?
In the city of….EMPhasema!
If you need gas, just squeeze the fox right there and maybe he'll pass another one..
Ah, the sea, and the Andulusian girls with the flowers in their hair…
You have to wash and reince it every now and then.
At $500/pint it damn well better!
You may laugh at it because it looks really dorky… But there's a lot of pre-pubescent boys that have lost their virginity in the back of a Reince Priebus.
Well done sir. Well done.
Well, he's kind of short. The one with the longer legs (The Ryan) get better millage, I hear.
They say never trust a man with two first names.
I say never trust a man with no names at all.
If your party is run by a guy with a name like an eyechart, you might be a redneck.
Maybe it makes sense in Estonian? Kazahk?
Martian?
It sounds lovely in the original Klingon.
So his personal motto "Reince Reince, Baby" doesn't engender any trust? Lighten up!
No thanks. I'd rather … well… almost anything.
"Clean out the toilet" was my first thought…
"With my tongue"
"…after a fresh piercing."
"After a flush left a bit of santorum in the bowl."
Isn't a Priebus Party that new scary thing all the teens are doing?
When you run out of lemons, you got to improvise.
Lather, Rinse Repeat.. That's what I got outta that.
Ooo "Blather Reince, Repeat" should be the reply to any RNC speech-y thing he does.
Man, I miss Michael Steele days….the brother really knew how to throw a party (and stiff the GOP with the bill).
Plus, he is sexy, all beautifully dressed and I bet he is a laugh riot.
I heard his hamster dance is sick!
Really–who wants to be in the company of a lot of boring politicos when one can hang out with dancing lesbians in bondage instead?
I long for the days of lesbian bondage clubs. Verily, those were simpler times.
I would but, uhhhh, I have anal hair that needs bleaching.
Pix or get the f…
(Dear God, what am I saying?!)
Srsly, dood. You do NOT want to see the bleached anal hair of a 230-pound man.
But will there be a visit to a lesbian bondage club? Who knew you could miss Michael Steele?
Brother still here, right on MSNBC, right now. Per tradition, I changed the channel.
Chicks with Dicks or GTFO
Ann Coulter is on her way.
What do you think "Reince Priebus" is code for?
“Pints with Reince” has to be hosted by LNS, because dickwaddery.
With a name like that, I'd figure he was turning 70.
Well, now we know where all the douchebags are gonna be tonight.
BMW, they will be standing behind the velvet ropes of Club Happy, hoping to get a glimpse of the birthday boy.
Well, now we know where all the
douchebagscloset cases are gonna be tonight.Man, it would be a shame if a bunch of Republican-led deregulation caused that bar to be unsafe for large gatherings in any way, wouldn't it?
It'd be a damned shame.
If there's no sexual harassment toward women at this it's not a GOP birthday party!
Also someone must put on blackface and play a welfare queen/southern slave/current President,
It would almost be worth the $40 if I wouldn't be frisked for my camcorder at the door.
When Mr. Priebus wakes up in the morning, he claps his hands and orders his maid to put his clothes on him. He calls it a Reince Dressing.
Chunky or creamy?
Well, he did endorse Santorum…
Frothy then.
Oi.
Blew cheese?
Make sure to Reince the Santorum off your Priebus before (and after) you show up.
Door Prize: Santorum Surprise!!
Aren't Priebus one of the things they look for when collecting a rape kit? First the rapey ultrasound in VA. Then the Prejudential candidates pledging to put their rapey hands all over the uteruses of America iffin' they get elected. If the Rethugs get the White House & Senate America's womenz will be needin' rape kits 24/7.
If your Priebus party lasts longer than four hours, consult your doctor.
Don't think of it as $500 to drink with a bunch of insufferable douchebags. Think of it as $500 for a chance to projectile vomit on Scott Walker and Paul Ryan. That's a friggin' bargain, my friend.
Are you kidding? They are probably used to that & they love it.
I'm sure the alcohol is so watered down you'd have to bring your own ipecac to manage any bile at all (so to speak).
Rinsed Pubis.
Rancid Prepuce.
Oh hell no! I can get roofied and violated without paying a cover charge, thank you!
You been visiting Allegedly James O'Keefe?
♫ ♪ The Pimp booooat, soon you'll be taking another ride! ♫ ♪
♫ ♪ The Pimp booooat, your drink's got roofies and more inside! ♫ ♪
Boat shoe solemn? I guess I'll have to go home and change from white buck bubbly.
Hey Mods! How did I lose a p-point for the last comment?
Pee goes up, pee goes down. You can't explain it.
How'd the pee get there? Huh? Who put it there?
Special Guest: Scott Walker? Time to email the invite to the SEIU and AFL-CIO headquarters, both about 20 blocks away from this bar!
That would make my day, actually
RINSE PREPUCE 2012!!
Santorum Reince Priebus is Latin for "Beware of Greeks bearing gifts"
How do you say "Beware of Geeks bearing gifts"?
I thought it was "Beware of Sleeping On Your Stomach Around Greeks".
I don't want to ruin beer drinking by associating it with all those evil chuds, thank you very much.
I think you'll find they won't beb drinking beer. Pints of the blood of the oppressed are the go at these sort of gatherings.
No, no. The blood drinkin' comes later & it's $1K a pint.
You know our politicians well, I see.
Even for a Tuesday Night in DC, and even if you WERE a Republican, this would be a terrible party. Too many hair plugs, not enough bongos (by which I mean blonde empty-headed WI farm girls).
Maybe the Log Cabin Repukes will send a few of their new blonde intern "gurls" to take a few for the team…
"not enough bongos"
Not enough bongs, either.
At the RNC, correct. But in my living room, we're golden.
Um, so, can we plan on visiting you anytime soon?
And not nearly enough dongs. After all, we are talking about male Republicans, here.
If there's any justice in the world, both "Reince" and "Priebus" rhyme with "penis".
You know who ELSE used gothic Germanic fonts in his banners and enjoyed hanging out in beer halls?
I… I know this…Stop putsching me for an answer!
Pope Ratzi?
Thor?
Lemmy?
Obama, Ailes and the Mailman?
If anyone else says "Hitler," I swear …
Ghandi?
The Dalai Lama?
Give the guy a break. With a name like that you know he came out of gym class with his underwear over his head more times then not.
After he was in the lockerroom holding other boys' underwear over his nose, breathing deep…
I wonder how much of the entertainment is going to be in blackface.
Michael Steele's not invited!
Oh, all of them, Kat…
All of it, Katie?
Please tell me "pints" and "Reince" don't rhyme.
Since things are getting pretty busy with Iran and Hoops and Peyton Manning, can the President just call Reince now and apologize in advance?
Text UNITE to 91919 to learn more about the GOP’s Mobile Army
that's awful wishful thinking for fat while people on scooters.
It's better than the old ad that used to advise you to Text UNITE to 91919 to learn more about the GOP’s Dick Armey.
Better, because less true.
Rest assured, their Dick Army is WAY bigger than their mobile army.
I can't begrudge a Reince Priebus a pint-swillin' good time any more than the next fanciful critter. May they whang-dang-doodle all night long — if they get it drunk enough maybe it'll show 'em its sweet tooth.
With that lineup I would have thought this would be at a titty bar on the south side of Milwaukee near Mitchell Field, with a two drink minimum instead of a 500 buck charge to drink with the assholes. They could probably get a couple of beers at a place like that. In Madison, they'd get their asses kicked into mush.
Silly. There are far too many blahs and Messicans in Milwaukee for them to hold their event, there.
Airport Lounge Libel!!!
But, if the state GOP did gothere, ther are, conveniently, male exotic dancers in the lower level.
Will Mexicans and Blacks be allowed ? (not required to provide goods and services)
"Pints With Reince" stubbornly refuses to become the new "Fox In Sox"
OT
The Saloon reports that Frothy Rick is all wrong when he says that "a wealth of research" shows porn "causes profound brain changes." So rest easy Wonketeers and keep downloading yer terabytes of porn. Your brain won't turn into a clone of Chuck Norris'
fecalgrey matter.Chuck Norris doesn't generate fecal matter. It just keeps collecting in him.
So, ODB did sew an asshole's asshole shut.
♫ Ain't No Party
Like a Reince Priebus Party
Cause a Reince Priebus Party
Don't Stop! ♫
I know the calendar disagrees, but the weather is PERFECT for my Seersucker.
You know, somewhere on the outskirts of DC, tomorrow, some big money GOP type is going to be waking up, holding his aching head, and saying to himself "My God, what did I drink last night? It must of been a lot, because I woke up with a Reince in my Priebus."
Is this the return of Late Night Shots, much beloved douchebag/asshole/wingnut/date-rapist convergence?
Gawd, I hope so – that was a snark-rich environment.
They are all going to circle jerk to the Ryan Budget — with a buttsechs bonus round when they get to the tax cuts to the job creators.
Vomit, Reince, repeat.
Suds with Priebus.
Actually the party is in the bathroom stall in the men's room. Outside the stall is open to the public.
Dear Editrix, can you give ib.adnxs.com some amphetamines? That site is soooooooo sloooooooow. Thnx
I guess that all the Rent Boys in D.C will be booked tonight.
That's quite a list of people I'd rather not have a beer with. Anyway, I think I'm doing my hair that night. What night is it? Yeah, that night.
I'm guessing Reince is a few pints short of a quart.
Since I don't think I could work a 'stand your ground' defense, i would prefer to gouge out my left eye instead.
Goosh, maybe it was one of these guys who sat down at my table in the food court, asked what I was eating in a heavy southern accent(some crazy ethnic stuff- no good ol American hamburger for me) and so I gave him some of my lunch(he was well dressed and groomed) He offered to pay for what he ate- I said no. He was not trying to pick me up- I am old. I think it was a novelty thing for him- I was uncomfortable- but didn't know what to do. I deal with homeless people all the time- not curious southern guys who have never seen papad or pakora before.
Was there was too much pepper in the paprikash?
When he's forced to talk to the baggers they call it lather, Reince, and repeat.
With Sean Duffy there, I have to ask: will TJ Lavin be there to taunt them about killing the health care law?
I hope they all have a wonnerful, wonnerful time (as an old person with his own orchestra used to say). May there be raucous hilarity, drunken hijinks, sexual shenanigans, and many, many cell phones with cameras AND video.
$40 to get near Scott Walker??? Jesus, if I only still lived in DC …
Pass
Reince Preibus??? Long Form Birth Certificate or GTFO!
It's an old trick, but effectively-forged free tickets, many of them, distributed in select DC neighborhoods….It would have been worth the lawsuit.
Thank you, the one they call Kaia, for reminding me exactly how many shitty politicians the state of Wisconsin has elected in recent times.
Someone really needs to send over a few rentboys to this party.
Tommy Thompson & the Fitzgeralds not making the cut is shocking.
But that recently resigned (to avoid the FAIL of being recalled; also, "to spend time ith her family", i.e. take a six figure job with, say, the mining lobby) state senator from Wausau will be there giving handies.
Rheinhold is 40?………….
A perfect Republican Trifecta this election year: Led by someone with an unpronounceable name by Candidates with unfathomable policies funded by unconscionable assholes. Yer welcome.
I'd be happy to have a Rint with Piebus, or whatever, if he buys it.
Help celebrate the death of the Republican party!
Will Michael Steele be bringing drinks and snacks around?
OH BOY! MORE SHIT ON A SHINGLE! CHOP, CHOP!
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