Here is a kid probably being an asshole. He is all aggro and in this fat cop’s face even while some pretty girl with long luscious hair tries to stop him by distracting him with her young nubile body. Yup, total jerkwad move, kid. We get it, you have testosterone now. Maybe go smoke a joint or something, jeez. And here is the cop, weighing in at two or three bills (?) and pushing the girl off the young man so he can choke him out with his big fat cop hands until he is prone on the ground with 2 or 300 (?) pounds of fat cop on him. This is what we in the legal community (we are not a part of the legal community) call “excessive use of force” sometimes, at least if the person is white. But what do the legal scholars of Fox Nation think of this video?
“Cool!” video after the jump!
{ 134 comments }
Huh-huh…huh… Police brutality's COOL! Huh-huh…
Da beers!
Beavis: Huh-huh-huh, kicking ass kicks ass!
Butthead: Hey, Beavis! That guy is, like, FAT!
Fighting instead of sex? Time for AA, kid…
Fox Nation & fat fuck cop, look in the mirror:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIDAI0vfUYg
If the cop gets fired, never fear. There's an opening at a certain Sheriff's office in Florida he can apply for.
Or campus rent a cop at Berkeley.
Can we recognize Fox Nation at the U.N.? Then invade it, replace its government and install a King of some kind. Howzabout John King? Or the Burger King?
Wouldn't the title "Grand Dragon" be more appropriate for Fox Nation?
The Burger King? Empty plastic heads already rule FOX News, so why not?
Also, it's not like the Burger King could get any creepier.
We should invade them, <remove> their leaders and convert them to The Church of the Subgenius.
We could install Don King, though, I'm not sure if it'd be governed any different than it is today.
Na.. they already lost to Wendy's… let's invade them instead
It's just a traditional Chicago first day of spring ritual.
Also a first day of summer ritual.
And a first day of fall, and …
Our hero first responders can do no wrong, people, what the fuck's wrong with you?
He was totally resisting the lecture!
Of course they think it's cool. The kid is brown.
Umm, green shirt? Obviously Irish. Kid totally had it coming, if just for that.
The huge bull limpet, enraged by the rock, endeavours to encircle its sprightly opponent…
Fortunately that kid wasn't facing down a neighborhood watch volunteer. But then Fox Nation might have upped the rating to "kewl".
A clear example of flabbius corpus.
Obviously, the Chicago PD isn't too stringent on the annual physical fitness requirement for their officers.
Are you kidding? He's comparatively buff for the CPD! He probably won the Mr Chicago contest.
So Mike and Molly is a documentary?
i took a random picture at chicago pride a couple years back. some wingtards with christian hate signs, my gay friends and some cops 'keeping the peace'.
when we looked at the full screen results, we saw that all five people had exactly the same physique and huge bellies. it's really really funny.
Choking Cop and Pepper Spray Cop need to get together for the best cop movie duo since Lethal Weapon.
They fuck you at the Free Speech Zone.
"I'm getting too
oldfat for this shit."Choke 'n' Pepper III: Still Chokin' and Sprayin'
Diet Choke & Dr. Pepper?
Choke would have to lose 500 lbs.
omg, how did they not get called Assault 'n Pepper?
Which one is Turner and which one is Hooch?
And then they form a superband with the "don't tase me bro" cop, and get a gig on CMT. With a special guest appearance by Jeff Foxworthy.
Jeff Foxworthy is marginally acceptable; it would have to be with Larry the Cable Guy.
[Sideshow Bob shudder]
Apparently FOX viewers don't find this difficult to masturbate to.
When I was that age my girlfriends were always instigating my problems with the police. If I had her by my side I would probably be CEO of GE by now. Instead I'm gooning for a lesser fortune 500, distinguished mainly for its lack of rigor in background checking.
IF Fox actually reported on the Trayvon Martin murder the Nation would also agree that the post was COOL!.
Not only is the cop twice the weight of the kid, but he's like six inches taller and carrying a gun.
Geez, I guess he thought it wouldn't be a fair fight, since he wasn't wearing riot gear!
All the better to get at that tender, young, sweet ass.
Makes the best barbecue.
I have no idea why cops are called pigs. Doesn’t make sense.
Anthony Weiner at 1:08!
These are things I learned as a kid.
Lesson #1 – when you're a kid and dealing with a cop, always "shut the fuck up".
Lesson #2. If you speak, call him Sir, and then shut the fuck up again.
Allow him to make all the mistakes? You may walk. Make the mistakes yourself, you're toast. Very simple.
Well, yea, but this is like a chihuahua (no ethnic comparison intended) yapping in the face of a mastiff. The mastiff would laugh it off.
This jerk is heading for a departmental hearing.
There were no cell phones back in the day.
Good advice. Those rights enumerated in the preamble of the Constitution are just for show. We aren't really allowed to exercise them.
Kids only have the constitutional rights adults say they do. That's how we roll here in the Land of the Free.
My High School used to have a FREEDOM SHRINE.
This consisted of large, laminated copies of the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights.
I would bet money that at least one student got detention for talking in the hallways within clear view of the FREEDOM SHRINE (and the freedom of speech enshrined therein).
Talking in the hallways is subversive!
Eh, a smart kid knows which battles are worth fighting. Something I stress to my own children.
Drunk-in-public teenagers should just stand down when a cop gets all puffy. Not that cop is right; just that you can't win that one.
I gotta think the kid figured there was just one cop…albeit one fucking Jabba the Hutt cop…and all his buds who'd have his back.
Um, oops.
No argument. It's just that spring time makes me pine for a time long since past. A time when we enjoyed a kinder, gentler police state.
If you're already dunk in public, there is no fucking way you're standing down. So, I guess the real piece of advice, here, is not to be drunk in public.
BTW, to no one in particular, and really not even to this case in particular, but my philosophy has always been that we expect more of people in authority on a job than we do of someone in their capacity as a civilian, and that we should expect more of the former than the latter. It is a civilian's right to be a dick to authority, period. It's authority's responsibility to do everything within their power to de-escalte a situation, if even it is within their right to exercize authority. That's why they are trained; less is indeed more when it comes to exercizing authority lest you lose your moral authority. In fact, this was kind of ruled by the courts to be the case here in Michigan where mouthy civilizans were given tickets for asking why they were given tickets…and the civilians subsequently won their lawsuits.
Why (and how) does that cop have on a Kevlar vest?? He is already impenetrable.
It's not Kevlar, it's Spanx. It's keeping him in.
It's an industrial strength sports bra.
Gah; fuck the police once again.
"The Nation Thinks This Post is COOL."
I used to subscribe to The Nation, now I remember why I let my subscription lapse.
That there thingy is for Fox Nation, not The Nation.
Yet that is so freakin' cool, to get the official stamp!
It's like the cop has the badge,
and so the video gets the stamp…
Did the T-shirt say "Kiss me,I'm Irish"…or "Beat the shit out of me, please, sir."
This video is not difficult to masturbate to.
It has to be the girl, right? Not the five-hundred pound pigman and the choking.
Oh relax. The fat guy was given a safety word.
It's just everything. If I was reading an erotic romance novel, I would want this scene to be the climax.
Is that a valid police move? I just don't see that in the official PD training:
"Ok, officer, feel your anger, your pants are choking the life out of you , feel your vent up racism, think about your small penis and impotency , FEEL THE RAGE!! Choke your partner!!! "
"I can feel your anger. It gives you focus, makes you stronger!"
I was going to go there, but that would have been my second Star Wars reference for the day. I'll let C_R_Eature keep his crown as wonknerd of the day.
Don't those guys ever have to pass a fitness test or anything? What a fat fuck.
He should have shot the kid and pleaded self-defense. It works in Florida.
oh, that motto makes sense now:
To Serve (himself at the all you can eat buffet)
and Protect (his tiny mind from anything a drunk kid may say by pressing on a major artery)
Is that the Mullin's on Clark? I used to get plowed there before Cubs games.
(Because G_d help help you if you had to watch the Cubs sober.)
I'm no longer a Pirates fan. At least with the Cubs there is no hope and never will be. But this year is their…ahhhhh forget it. Who am I kidding.
Out here, in my part of the country we have these guys called the Seattle Mariners…
I'll see your crappy teams and raise you my Mets.
Speaking as a former Chi-towner and Cubs fan, I must report that I am much happier having transferred my allegiance to the Rockies, who have in 19 years of existence made it to one more World Series than the Cubs in the past 60. Plus Wrigley Field is like the worst football stadium in the UK.
How is it that I am always on the complete other end of the opinion spectrum from anything someone who would be a part of something called the Fox Nation thinks? I mean EVERY time, on EVERY topic, without fail. Is it me? I think it's me.
Fox would certainly like you to think that.
Yes it's you.
You, and your ounce of human decency.
"Next on FOX: Puppies; They're Just So Adorable."
"When You Smash Their Heads".
At night he becomes a bartender!
Working too hard can give you a heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack.
(Soon, hopefully.)
For years I thought that was:
"Sgt. O'Leary is walking the beat,
Tiny becomes a bartender"
I figured Tiny was one of those big burly guys with the shaved head and all the tattoos, tending bar.
This neighborhood watch guy is out of control. The next thing you know they will be shooting the kids.
The Fox viewers like it because they heard it wrong. They thought it was a chicken, not a kid…well, to tell the truth, either one would spark up their dull jobless (Obama's fault) lives.
Just keep choking that Filipino.
Excellent ongoing commentary by Brownshirt youths. Sieg (belch) Heil.
I liked "Mike & Molly" better before all the Very Special Norman Lear Episodes.
Teh Wonkette needs a 'certified cool' tag for all posts– "Teh Wonkett thinks this post is Kewl! Derp!"
Rough Translation:
Cop: I can't wear green and don't pinch me punk!
Asian: You no wear green You no get not pinched!
Cop: You are not even Irish!
Asian's Girlfriend: He's right babe you are Filipino.
Asian: I stomp my feet and karate chop you!
Credit – stolen straight from Youtube.
I was so hoping this video had closed captioning. I can imagine it would go pretty much along those lines.
Mike went all ragey after Molly lost all that weight and dumped him for his skinny black friend.
He was fleeing the interview!!!
Also…"Chicago, home of the fat cop, and really great hotdogs. Coincidence? I don't think so!"
don't forget the deep-dish pizza
And ribs.
Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke
You gotta understand
It's just our bringin' upke
That gets us out of hand
Our mothers all are junkies
Our fathers all are drunks
Golly Moses, naturally we're punks
Choking: It's foreplay, essentially.
"This video is private."
Holy crap! They really did pull the vid!
Someone's lawyering up!
After the 911 can we afford not to choke annoying non-white teens?
Looks like Paul Blart turned into quite the badass.
i hate the police, don't you?
i don't know, but i seem to feel better when they're not around.
barfly
When I click on the video, it says it's private. It looks like Fox Nation believes what happens between a video of police brutality and its fap-fap-fapping audience is nobody's business. Too bad they don't extend that courtesy to the rest of us.
And he's not even a coon!
Back it up there, Prommie.
Dear Our Lady,
I believe that Prommie was employing the First Person Sarcastic.
Sincerely,
Boojum
Who let this riff-raff into the room?
Remind the Nation that the cop is represented by a union and gets a government pension at retirement. That will cheer them up.
No kidding. Those dumfuk kops are one layoff away from joining OWS.
Techincally, we in the legal community call that "Excessive Use of Fat".
Same action (possibly) different video: http://youtu.be/umTawimFYLs
Thanks for posting this. When I clicked the Wonkette link it actually said the poster no longer has a YouTube account. Ugly video all around, the ugliest part was the comments on the link you posted. Need shower now.
Ah, the wit and wisdom of the YouTube comment thread…
It says the video is private…what's up with that?
I love the headline of the video. "Cop Chokes Out Mouthy Drunk Kid on St. Patty’s Day".
"Mouthy Drunk Kid". No bias there.
Don't tell me … this is the training video Ray Kelly is using to prepare New York's finest for their springtime Occupy antics.
What did I win?
And THAT, my friends, is why I was terrified letting teens leave the house last Saturday.
Police brutality in Chicago? Who knew?
There are two kinds of cops in this world: professional and the other kind. Officer Donuts lost his cool, instead of the kid getting gripped, cuffed, arrested and given a DC charge, the City of Chicago has a lawsuit on it's hands, or should.
That's thing; for a properly trained person with te right temperament for such a stressful job, this could have been a very easy, by-the-book arrest.
High burn-out level — Donuts reached his.
Yup. I'm not saying what the cop did was justified, but I totally understand why he did it. And… that's why I'm not a cop. He's supposed to be a professional and not succumb to his urge to choke a kid that weighs about the same as his average breakfast platter.
"Fat Chicago Cop" is kind of redundant.
Let me tell you, it's going to be a long, hot and fat Occupy Summer in Chicago, this year. And nothing will have been worse than a hot, fat Chicago cop during a Chicago summer. Talk about nerves. If you're sweating like a hooker in church walking a block during a Lake Effect in the middle of winter…God have mercy on those hippy's souls.
Whaddya mean the uploader closed their YouTube account and the video can no longer be seen? Oh man!
Can't click on the vid? No worries, it will be on endless loop all summer. Different cops, different kids, different localities, same shit…..guaranteed; it's already starting.
The link says the account on YouTube was deleted by the owner.
I don't know the Bucks are working on their 20th season under .500. That's pretty hard to beat. It's a tough 2 decades in the North Shore.
My Mariners lost ten more games last year than your crap-crap-crappy Mets. [/puffs up chest] And that was with one of the best pitching staffs in all of baseball!
What else ya' got Met Boy, huh? C'mon, bring it!
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