oh my god

Rick Santorum Calls Out Obama For Daughter’s Mexican Vacation

At least wear a condom, Rick,Did you hear that President Obama allowed his daughter to go to Mexico with 12 friends and 25 Secret Service agents? Our friends on the right end of the political spectrum have been calling it poor leadership for the First Parents to send their child to Deathly Mexico after the State Department recently issued a travel warning for certain parts of the country (that don’t include Oaxaca, where Malia was visiting). At least this is the angle — “hypocrisy,” a bullshitter’s best argument-friend — they’re basically using it as an excuse to call the Obama family jet-setting spendthrifts. And now classy piglet Rick Santorum, who is actually wading into this story about the President’s daughter, is calling Obama a bad father/president who is setting a bad example. Sweet jiminy Christ burgers.

Here’s “Santo” chatting with his good pal Glenn Beck, who apparently didn’t die last year as everyone had assumed:

“What I would say is that the president’s actions should reflect what his administration is saying,” Santorum told Beck. “If the administration is saying that it’s not safe to have people down there, then just because you can send 25 Secret Service agents doesn’t mean you should do it. You should set an example. I think that‘s what presidents do. They set an example. And when the government is saying this is not safe, then you don’t set the example by sending your kids down there.”

Another things presidents “do”: Not go out of their way to chime in on someone else’s parental decisions, like where they allow their kids to go on Spring Break. Take the “wasting taxpayer money” angle if that gets your rocks off. But what is this “DERPA DERP he sent his kids to DERP hypocrite SPLAT haw haw Mexico” crap?

[The Blaze]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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117 comments

    1. sullivanst

      I don't know, but I'm willing to cash in my IRAs to buy (hopefully) enough bleach to find out. Chlorox is fine for that, right?

  1. EatsBabyDingos

    Cue massive earthquake in my favorite state, Guerrero. Which I am sure will be a message from Jeebus.

    1. Omarcommin

      Can you just imagine the fresh hell that goes on in this guy's house? All of his kids were home schooled? Jesus H Christ, those kids are f'd up.

  2. spends2much

    Yeah. THIS is important, Rick. THIS.

    And where was he talking to Glenn Beck, a Chilli's parking lot?

  3. SharkSandwich

    I'm starting to think that these ad hoc attacks on the president are politically motivated.

  4. SorosBot

    Someone who forces their kids to be home schooled instead of getting an actual education; and has in fact said that, if one of his daughters was rapes, he'd force her to give birth to the rapist's baby; has no business questioning anyone else's parenting decisions, Rick, you horrible person and horrible parent you.

  5. BaldarTFlagass

    I hope Malia takes advantage of her locale and the fact that she will probably not have to clear customs, and brings her dad back a big brick of Oaxacan Gold for Father's Day.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        Yeah, but it costs about a bazillion times as much money. Her allowance would go so much further with the imported.

  6. Sassomatic

    "If the administration is saying that it’s not safe to have people down there, then just because you can send 25 Secret Service agents doesn’t mean you should do it"

    Um, no, that is exactly what that means. If you have 25 secret service agents, you can go pretty much anywhere you please.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Shit, he's commander-in-chief. He could send the 82nd Airborne with her. For "maneuvers."

  7. prommie

    I am now convinced that Obama has learned that the weakness of the GOP is that it is like an enraged bull, and can't help itself from charging at any red flag. So Obammerz just waved the red flag of birth control, and the GOP charged into that disaster, and now he has waved the red flag of spring break, and the GOP will again charge heedlessly into the utter disaster that will occur, that will certainly occur, if they try to attack or even make an issue out of the President's teen daughter.

    1. Native_of_SL_UT

      Obama's doing it wrong. He should do like our last President did and send his daughters off for a permanent spring break party.

    1. SorosBot

      When his wife was out of town; he certainly would never do that woman's work when the old ball and chain was around.

  8. Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    "…not only that, but the President won't store his Winnebago off-premises, and he keeps hanging his laundry out to dry. Clearly, he's in violation of the covenant."

  9. BaldarTFlagass

    What the fuck, Rick. I'm sure that those irresponsible parents just threw her the keys to Air Force One and said "Just make sure you bring it back with the same amount of gas that's in it. Have fun!!!"

    1. FakaktaSouth

      As I laughed I just heard Dave Chapelle's voice in my head (this actually happens a lot)- "oh this racism is killing me." Then I cried and got sick.

  10. Goonemeritus

    The scary parts of Mexico are the one that are close to the American boarder. This is not true of the Canadian boarder so I’m once again forced to blame this on our southern states.

    1. SorosBot

      In part; it's the fault of the southern (well southwestern) states working hand in hand with the NRA.

    2. BaldarTFlagass

      True this. I take a few days down in Puerto Penasco/Sonora every year to see this band I like, there's always a bunch of fearmongering on their message board about getting beheaded by the drug cartels. But Lukeville (google it) doesn't quite have the element of danger you might find in Juarez, Matamoros, or T-J. Never had a problem.

  11. BaldarTFlagass

    He should have just sent her to Daytona or South Padre, for the underage drinking and the possibility of an appearance on "Girls Gone Wild." Skin to win!!!

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        Yeah, alcohol poisoning usually has a deleterious effect on one's ability to cross international borders.

  12. MissTaken

    If Santorum is so concerned about Mexican violence than I'm sure he will argue that we need to stop the flow of guns from good ole USA to Mexico. Right? RIGHT?!

  13. ChernobylSoup

    A) I reckon Sasha is in a foul mood this week (for not getting to join Malia in Mexico), and is looking for an outlet for her anger.

    B) Science proves Sasha could beat Rick Santorum's ass.

    You see where I'm going with this?

  14. BaldarTFlagass

    I'm sure Rick sends his kids to Jesusland Fun Park down in Tennetucky for their Spring Break relaxation. Big Time!!!

  15. actor212

    So hang on…isn't Santorum, by broadcasting his concerns, actually putting Malia in danger, since the general rule is not to report on the whereabouts of the President's kids?

    1. Steverino247

      That's exactly what this asshole did. She would have gone there and back and no one would have known. But nooooooo….

  16. NorthStarSpanx

    So if Rick became (if he was so blessed) President, and developed agoraphobia (along with his other anti-social pathologies) in the White House's East Wing, he's leading by example? And our take-away? Become hoarders and afraid of sex.

  17. Baconzgood

    Obama is from Kenya, he sent his kid to Mexico, Fast & Furious was in Mexico. Vin Diesel was in fast and furious. Now follow me here, Vin was also in that stock broker film where they ripped everyone off. Boiler plate or somthing. Obama wants to raise Diesel prices and turn the market into socialismz. WAKE UP SHEEPLE! It's right there in front of you hidden in plain sight!

  18. MinAgain

    Way to harsh the Spring Break buzz, dude.

    Do you think Santorum became a sanctimonious prick because the spelling is so close to his actual name, or was that just a happy accident?

  19. SoBeach

    7.6 Earthquake just hit between Mexico City and Oaxaca. Stop, Rick. We promise we'll listen from now on.

    1. MissTaken

      Of all the children of the Presidential candidates this year Sasha and Malia are the only ones guaranteed to not end up on the pole.

      Yes, Little Ricky Jr, I'm looking at you!

  20. Mumbletypeg

    May I refer you, Frothy, to those among your own peers who were examples of contenders proving their L-oserness even before they'd won anything. Including but not limited to: Joe Miller the Drape Measurer, and Herman Cain the show stopper.
    Stellar precedents for those never destined to be Presidents. Go on and follow in their footsteps Ricky, please do.

  21. Chichikovovich

    The kids would have preferred to vacation in the US, but wherever they go they encounter one or two morons waving birth certificates in ziplock bags.

  22. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Come on, Sen. Santorum, how do you expect the President to get his coke and weed in from Mexico? You know you can't trust their mules, and if you can't trust family, who can you trust?

  23. el_donaldo

    When you add the idea of Mexican people to that of black people and female people, it just sets off a massive fear reflex in Santorum's brain.

    Right now he's probably under a desk somewhere hugging a jar of fetuses.

  24. Schmannnity

    If Mexico wants to be a tourist destination, it is going to have to learn English in compliance with federal law.

  25. SayItWithWookies

    This is how you know Rick wouldn't be interested in running everyone else's personal life if he became president — because he studiously avoids giving — gratuitously and at the first opportunity — advice to the current president about how to be a father. The motherfucker wants to become First Biddy, not president.

  26. sullivanst

    I thought families were strictly off-limits in all circumstances and for all purposes whatsoever.

    Wait, what's that you say? IOKIYAR? Oh.

  27. Schmegeg

    Rick Santorum is Right! Next spring, send her to Florida and the Secret Service can gun down some redneck asshat vigilantes.

  28. JustPixelz

    "…that‘s what presidents do. They set an example."

    This reminds of the example Dubya set when he sat frozen in an elementary classroom after being told the nation — the nation he took an oath to defend — was under attack.

    Also reminds me of the example Dubya set when he flew over New Orleans so he could see the devastation his horse show buddy Brownie was about to make worse.

    Who can forget when Dubya said we can go to war on borrowed money? And torture people! There's an example for a President can set. Plus lying to Congress about WMDs.

    Ricky should remind Americans of the example Republicans set when they're in charge.

  29. owhatever

    The President will call Rick and apologize, right after calling Newt and Brisket. List is getting longer.

    1. Redhead

      "I'm sorry that you were offended by what the voices in your head told you about things that have nothing to do with you" seems like it would work for all three. Mass text?

  30. Terry

    Can I please point out that this is actually a school trip and not hitting the beach in Cabo with the college kids?

    1. finallyhappy

      I still remember the chicken Mole I ate in the mercado in Oaxaca- more than 30 years ago!

  31. swordfis

    Someone above referred to Santorum as "Biddy-In-Chief." This is spot on. He's like an abysmally intrusive and judgmental mother. Come to think of it, has anyone seen HIS birth certificate? Maybe Rick has had some surgical reorientation along the way. If so, he needs more counseling. I propose this as a new malicious rumor.

  32. MarionNYNY

    The President also sends his daughters out to some hot bed of liberal thinking called "school" every day, and has hopes that they will go to college, the elitist snob.

  33. Antispandex

    And just how many jelly doughnuts will we, the TAXPAYERS, be forced to buy every week if the Santorum family moves into the Whitey House? Huh?

  34. kingofmeh

    fixed your comment, rick:

    "What I would say is that the president’s actions should reflect what his administration is saying,” Santorum told Beck. “If the administration is saying that GOVERNMENTS SHOULD SPEND LESS MONEY, then just because you can GET THE PENNSYLVANIA SCHOOLD DISTRICT WHERE YOU CLAIM RESIDENCY TO PAY $100,000 FOR YOUR CHILDREN'S TUITION TO AN ONLINE SCHOOL WHILE YOUR CHILDREN RESIDE IN VIRGINIA doesn’t mean you should do it. You should set an example. I think that‘s what presidents do. They set an example. And when the government is STRESSING FISCAL CONSERVATISM, then you don’t set the example by GRABBING A GOVERNMENT ENTITLEMENT.”

  35. Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    Cueing Pat Robertson to blame Malia and the Secret Service for the Acapulco 7.9 earthquake in 3… 2…

  36. Limeylizzie

    What is really disgusting is that the White House asked that this trip NOT be made public , due to safety concerns.

  37. Eve8Apples

    Do you think Kenny Chesney and Jimmy Buffett would tell their kids to avoid spring break in Mexico? Hell no. They would advise their kids to have a beer and a margarita in Mexico and come back with a bitchin' tattoo. Malia – listen to Kenny and Jimmy and ignore Ricky.

  38. MadBrahms

    So following Santorum's logic, no foreigners should visit / spend money anywhere in our country because Detroit is a crime-ridden post-industrial wasteland.

    Sorry, Vegas.

  39. Redhead

    They're probably just mad that he sent his daughter to the country full of Mexicans instead of running screaming from them and chanting "they're takin mah jerb!!!"

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