Drag Queens Proclaim Their Love Of Super Christian Anti-Gay Chick-fil-A (VIDEO)

  "even dykes say yay"

Chick-fil-A, great American chicken store, has this inconvenient reputation of being quite, quite Christian and, through its nonprofit organization, for supporting groups that are known to be anti-gay, like Focus on the Family and the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (WHICH EXISTS). WELL! In the name of Digging Freedom (this is actually how you dig freedom), three drag queens who call themselves Willam Belli, Detox, and Vicky Vox, put together this rather brilliant and professional music video. The ladies take Wilson Phillips’ “Hold On,” transform it into a catchy ode to fried boneless bird breasts and waffle fries, RAP, and say a polite “F U” to Chick-fil-A’s elderly gay-for-God billionaire CEO, S. Truett Cathy (while do these rich old men always have initials for first names???)

There are really too many witty lyrics to transcribe here, but here’s the chorus:

Some day somebody’s gonna make you wanna gobble up a waffle fry
But no, no, don’t you know, Chick-fil-A say you’ll make the Baby Jesus cry

And the gist of the message:

So chow down at Chick-fil-A
So chow down at Chick-fil-A
Even if you’re gay

Put it in your mouth
Don’t matter if you’re gay
Chow down at Chick-fil-A

Like some other conservatives we have the misfortune of knowing, the Baptist Chick-fil-A family is a fan of saying whatever a person wants to hear at a particular moment in time. So, son Dan Cathy apparently proclaimed last year, “While my family and I believe in the Biblical definition of marriage, we love and respect anyone who disagrees.” That is a nice way of putting that, if only it were not BS! Like a certain “steward of the Lord” we know, Dan Cathy writes on the C-f-A website that the point of Chick-fil-A is to “glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us.”

The company has also conducted some rather high-profile fundraisers with groups like the Pennsylvania Family Institute, which counts banning gay marriage among its beloved causes.

Anyway, back to the queens, who say they “just want a little meat without your Bible.” But why give the bastards any of your money?!?! Perhaps the end goal is to make something so flattering that S. Truett will actually be inclined to accidentally watch the thing, during which he will be made very uncomfortable by (enjoy) all the sexy therein! [Forbes]

Related

 
Related video

About the author

Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

View all articles by Liz Colville

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

99 comments

  1. Allmighty_Manos

    I hate to admit it, but I love going to Chick fil when traveling through red states. Everyone seems so happy to be there, the sandwiches taste like actual meat minus nasty special sauce goo, and I can get kids meals w/o any kind of advertising for crap movies, I mean they put actual educational books in the kiddie packs. So I salute all efforts to make it a drag hangout.

        1. JustPixelz

          Shhh. They think the books are about Jesus riding a dinosaur to His (Jesus') completely heterosexual friend John's house.

  2. FakaktaSouth

    UGH Fuck Chic-fil-a for real. Never open on a Sunday when that salty fried chicken on a bun sounds the best. Y'all shut up. I don't eat Krystals (or White Castle? Whatever yanks call it) Chic-fil-a would be classy drunk food.

  3. BaldarTFlagass

    My religion calls for me to eat chicken only on Sundays, so I've never had Chick Fil A.

  4. hilbillyheroine

    I live here in Oklahomophobe, and I (sheltered that I can sometimes be) did not know this about Chicky fillet. I took my grandkids there last week! I gave them my money! In my defense, my barely 2 year old grandson bit a Christian kid and caused a screaming hell-raising commotion in the little playhouse. I kinda think my 2 year old may be gay, and I'll almost bet the big fat kid he bit said something homophobic to him.

    1. HistoriCat

      Eh – don't sweat it too much. All big corporations basically suck – some are just more verbal about it than others.

  5. KathrynSane

    Fun fact: My high school biology teacher was the faculty advisor for our school's chapter of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes. When he taught us about evolution, he said that he only doing it because he was forced to by the government and that there are other explanations and we should look at this wacko Christian faux-science book for the real truth.

    Hooray, Pennsyltucky!

    1. Baconzgood

      If it makes you feel any better, when I was 17 I smoked a joint with my civics teacher in the parking lot during the homecomming game.

    2. TheMightyHaltor

      Isn't a biology teacher who doesn't believe in evolution kind of like a math teacher who doesn't believe in subtraction?

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      That comment was rolled in egg, double dipped in flour and deep fried to PERFECTION! (See, my healthy lunch didn't last long).

    2. Negropolis

      A Pull-it Surprise?

      Barb, I'm dying, here. If I don't stop laughing, you're going to be charged with hilarious homicide.

  6. JustPixelz

    Well if you don't like what Chick-fil-a does with their profits, you can always spend your money at Domino's. WAIT! What? How about The Right Wing Restaurant, in Tulsa? Maybe Herman Cain's old Godfather's Pizza? The Republican Restaurant in Chicago?

    I'VE GOT IT! Dairy Queen.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      You know what I want? That thing Knight Rider was eating. Of course I have never disparaged David Hasselhoff. Nothing is better than "eat a cheeseburger on the floor at the end of the night" drunk. He looked genuinely happy. How can anyone hate that?

  7. MissTaken

    Huh, I always thought the drag queens were fans of that other Christian fast food chain, In-N-Out.

    1. bagofmice

      Perhaps drag queens are the secret behind Ruth's Chris. It's where you find your meat, from rare to well done.

    2. Biff

      Do they still do that thing with the bible verses? I thought since the only fambly member left is some granddaughter, they'd maybe quit that?

      1. MissTaken

        Nope, they're still there. Right on the wrapper of your Double Double is something or other about Jeebus.

        1. Biff

          Oh darn. At least it's unobtrusive, and I'm only in the neighborhood a few times a year, so I can justify going. Truth be told, I rarely eat fast food anymore. Those damned sweet tater tots at Sonic sure do rock, though.

        2. smokefilledroommate

          That actually pissed me off upon learning of it (and seeing it), but living in Arizona, I thank "god" for small favors like a California burger chain that can serve up crazy ass num-nums like animal fries and some weird-ass protein style whole grilled onion extra cheese and tomato thang that I order. I swear, it'd be the only thing I missed if I left here.

  8. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Great. Now the gays are taking over fried chicken. Is nothing in this country safe?

  9. actor212

    The ladies take Wilson Phillips’ “Hold On,” transform it into a catchy ode to fried boneless bird breasts and waffle fries, RAP, and say a polite “F U” to Chick-fil-A’s elderly gay-for-God billionaire CEO, S. Truett Cathy

    Name like that, sounds like he should be one of the drag queens singing the song

  10. Schmannnity

    I've always preferred Col. Harlan Sanders because he always seems so racially enlightened.

  11. Blueb4sunrise

    Ohhhhhhh no. You can't fool me AGAIN with that line: My name is Dan, but you can call me Cathy.

  12. DaRooster

    "(while do these rich old men always have initials for first names???) "

    So they can wear them on their chest at Denver International while they fly around the bunkers…

  13. RadioStalingrad

    Stupid goyum, every good jewish bizness man knows you hire shabbos goy to run your Arby's and whatnot on Saturday.

  14. Doktor StrangeZoom

    They're trying to ram chicken down our throats!

    Or choke it!

    Or something bad, involving chicken, and ramming, without repeating the TV Weatherman joke that has already been made in this thread!

  15. vulpes82

    Don't y'all recognize Ru Paul's Drag Race contestant Willam? She was kicked off for a MYSTERIOUS RULE VIOLATION just last night! It is the ESCANDALO of the decade for gay people!!! God, this place is so straight!

    1. Baconzgood

      I recognized Detox. I hate to bash the lil lady, but Drag Race is one of her guilty pleasures. At least it's not LifeTime movies.

  16. banana_bread

    There was a Chik-Fil-A in my dorm when I was a collegiate Bread. I got sick of them in about three weeks. They moved upstate to Chicagoland in the last couple of years and the lines were INSANE. Bitches love them some waffle fries.

    Anyways, before I knew about their crazy crusader agenda, I got some for nostalgia's sake. I have to say, their video drive-thru was really cool and their staff was extremely nice. Too bad the people in charge are douchebags.

  17. Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    This is the reason why I changed my handle. I am a slave to their nuggets. I can't help it. Look, I shop the Home Depot because the AFA hates them… but this chicken company tears my innards out at their deliciousness.

    Someone spank me for supporting their hatefulness.

  18. Mumbletypeg

    <i(while do these rich old men always have initials for first names???) </i>

    G. Gordon Liddy
    F. Scott Fitzgerald
    F. Murray Abraham
    T. Boone Pickens

    One of these is "rich and old"… one is dead.. one is notorious, and one rather obscure (still working on the list)…

    1. PubOption

      When I first saw the name T. Boone Pickens, many years ago, I misread it as T. Bone Pickens.

  19. Pop_Socket

    My gay college roommate knew the whole story of the bible-thumpers behind Chick-Fil-A because he was from College Park, GA where the original Dwarf House (how's that for political incorrectness) invented the sandwich. He claimed you had to be an ordained Baptist minister to get a franchise.

    P.S. He loved the stuff.

  20. dijetlo

    Dan Cathy COO: “While my family and I believe in the Biblical definition of marriage, we love and respect anyone who disagrees.”
    Wow, that guy sounds very Christian, doesn't he? His company donates a significant portion of it's profits to charity and gives it's employees 1 weekend day off every week so they can spend time with their kids….
    And this is the guy we hate?

    1. Guppy

      Yeah, that's part of the love/hate I (at least) have with Chick-fil-A. Does the decent treatment of its workers balance out the money going to Focus on the Family?

    2. Negropolis

      Yeah, and VW made some really nice cars during the war…yeah, I totally went there.

      Shorter Chick-fil-A: We'll be praying for you.

      I honestly don't get why some people think that being non-confrontational about hate makes hate any less hateful. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but shouting hate and backdooring it doesn't change the essence of it.

  21. Chichikovovich

    “While my family and I believe in the Biblical definition of marriage, we love and respect [the money of] anyone who disagrees.”

    (Edited for clarity.)

  22. Tommy1733

    You know, it is obviously disgusting that this company actively opposes equal rights but this comment "glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us" coming from the gob of a company that fosters the factory-farming and unsustainable agriculture industries smacks of some serious cognitive dissonance.

  23. Tundra Grifter

    I still like their music, and continue to admire their politics, but the years haven't been kind to the Dixie Chicks.

  24. ttommyunger

    I know I always head there when I get a craving for cardboard between two slices of foam rubber.

Comments are closed.