This is what Robert De Niro does to white peopleMichelle Obama attended an Obama campaign fundraiser in New York last night and you can just guess what happened: Someone, a rich Hollywood/New York liberal, made a joke that threatens traditional values, of the sort they practice in the Heart Land. The race-baiter was Analyze That and The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle star Robert De Niro, who told the crowd, “Callista Gingrich. Karen Santorum. Ann Romney. Now do you really think our country is ready for a white first lady?” according to the pool report. Conservative Republicans, the only group that *really* understands America’s shameful history of racism against white people, simply will not care for this joke. Newt Gingrich, for example, is demanding a presidential apology for Robert De Niro’s joke. When will it stop, Mr. President?

First, the outrage (via TPM):

“I do want to say one thing, both on behalf of my wife and on behalf of Karen Santorum and on behalf of Ann Romney: I think that Robert De Niro’s wrong,” Gingrich said, according to CNN. “I think the country is ready for a new first lady and he doesn’t have to describe it in racial terms.”

Then, the continued outrage:

After condemning DeNiro as “rich enough he probably doesn’t notice the price of gasoline,” and “successful enough he probably doesn’t notice the unemployment rate,” Gingrich continued to express outrage over the line.

Finally, the part where he won’t shut up and demands things:

“What De Niro said last night was inexcusable and the president should apologize for him. It was at an Obama fundraiser, it is exactly wrong, it divides the country,” he said. “If people on the left want to talk about talk show hosts, then everybody in the country should hold the president accountable when someone at his event says something that is utterly and terribly unacceptable as what Robert De Niro said.”

President Obama, you must launch Robert De Niro into space forever. He must be shackled at Space Gitmo by tea time this afternoon, where he will be eaten by Lava Monsters and Dementors, just like Rush Limbaugh was.

UPDATE: Oh Jesus Christ, c’mon: “Per @CarrieNBCNews, FLOTUS spokeswoman Olivie Alair says Robert DeNiro’s joke last night about a white first lady is ‘inappropriate.'”


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  • Barb

    Callista would be the "Third Lady"

    • You assume

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Really, there's more than enough time to upgrade before the inaugural.

        • When Callista is mysteriously taken away from the campaign trail after having a "fit" on the podium (muttering about "sudo ops"), they'll claim its just a family emergency.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Until the "Next Lady" comes along.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      And we can only speculate on which ordinal would apply to Ann Romney.

      Who really knows how many sister-ladies there would be, and how to rank them?

      • Toomush_Infer

        No, she'd still be "first wife"….it's how Mormans keep order…

    • Not_So_Much

      "Lady" seems a little strong…

    • hilbillyheroine

      I've known many ladies, and Callista is no "lady".

  • Arken

    I demand Obama apologize for every single person in the media who has ever said anything offensive, individually.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      Like Bristle, I'm still waiting for my phone call.

  • nounverb911

    Is there any one whiter than Callista?

    • Elric of Melnibone.

    • GregComlish


    • Newt.

    • horsedreamer_1

      The Brothers Winter?

  • nounverb911

    Callista's black roots are showing again.

  • Obama – Please apologize for DeNiro's shitty choice in movie roles over the last decade.

    I demand satisfaction.

  • Lucidamente1

    Wait, I thought conservatives said it was liberals that couldn't take a joke and got all huffy about stuff.

    • dadanarchist

      They can't take a joke when it serves their political purposes. Which I guess is always.

  • Do Fembots or blow-up dolls ACTUALLY fall into into a "race"???

    • What do you have against plastocysts????

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    Go on Congressman Fatty McPuffy, tell De Niro that to his face…

  • CountryClubJihadi

    He should have clarified that he meant a flat-assed, no lipped, stringy haired bitch with no soul.

    • Biff

      And that schnozola, don't forget that! Jesus Christ, she puts Jimmie Durante to shame with that thing!

  • skoalrebel

    Callista hasn't been this offended since the batteries in her vibrator died without warning.

  • Schmannnity

    In the unlikely parallel universe where Newt Gingrich is elected president, I say America would not be ready for a white first lady and Gingrich would be president and Michelle Obama would continue as first lady, just to get in Newt's grill.

  • Limeylizzie

    To be fair to Newt, Robert De Niro loves the blah ladies, he was obsessed with a friend of mine , she was blah and English, who worked at his restaurant, so I am sure he has major hotness for Mrs.Barry.

    • LesBontemps

      Who doesn't?

      • Limeylizzie

        I know I do.

    • Great, thanks. You had to say it. Now my better half is off somewhere "thinking" about Michelle with an English accent.

      • Limeylizzie

        If he /she needs any help , this woman is gorgeous, blah, English and Jewish….

        • Lascauxcaveman

          OMG, she's like a younger, chocolatier Alex Kingston! I'm in love again.

        • SorosBot

          OMG you're friends with Queen Elizabeth X? (Sorry; total Doctor Who nerd here; and yeah she's very gorgeous).

          • Limeylizzie

            No, no that is not my friend I just gave her as an example of gorgeous, Blah English women.

          • Shellwith2Ls

            Oh God, I was about to write that she was QE X too.

        • Damn you, Lizzie, I think you've just described his perfect woman. If there's a picture of her in an IDF uniform, I'm doomed.

        • OK, I'm totes in lerve. Thanks, LL.

          • Limeylizzie

            Also an amazing actress, stage and film, I just love her .Nigerian father, Jewish mother.

    • You beat me to it, with first-hand knowledge!

      • Limeylizzie

        It's a well-known fact, I think all of his wives were blah, no?

        • Three out of three: Diahnne Abbott, Toukie Smith, Grace Hightower (current).

  • edgydrifter

    Gingrich will have to create a new cabinet-level Whinging Czar to track all the things which morally outrage and/or personally offend Newt.

  • SorosBot

    Sigh. Do we have to explain the joke to you, Newtie? And can you explain what the fuck is supposed to be inexcusable about the statement? Ah, but this is the right wing, where they don't understand that we only call out racism when someone actually says or does something racist; they seem to think they can claim just mentioning race is somehow racist.

    • MissTaken

      Why do you hate white people?

      • SorosBot

        It's true, I do hate white people; not all of us of course, but so many are such screeching assholes, morons, deliberately ignorant and proud of it, and blind to their own privilege that it makes me ashamed to be one of them.

        • Bezoar

          I'm working up a recipe for 'Soylent Dumb' that should fix the problem.

    • BarackMyWorld

      I think DeNiro's use of irony was just too elitist for Newt to get.

  • I need to see Ann's, Karen's and Callista's guns before I decide.
    Michell has set the REAL standard.

    • She whipped out her pair of 38s. I wasn't scared. Then she pulled her pistols. I was scared.

  • iburl

    “I think the country is ready for a new first lady "

    Uh, no, we're not. Especially not for some tarted up fembot.

  • "hold the president Speaker of the House accountable when some one tool at his event bidding says something that is utterly and terribly unacceptable as what Robert De Niro Newt Gingrich, the House Speaker himself, said.”


  • LesBontemps

    Newt Gingrich sounds like a girl. A whiny little white girl.

  • Schmannnity

    Callista–The Tiffany Stamps First Lady.

  • Preferred Customer

    You think De Niro's funny? Funny how? Like a clown, here to fucking amuse you?

  • johnnymeatworth

    Wow, that's the best thing De Niro's said since Goodfellas….

  • as long as she doesn't encourage the radical idea of eating healthy, this country is ready for any socialite FLOTUS.

  • Wow! You mean an insensitive jerk made a crude joke in front of the President?

    Did he call anyone a "slut"? Cuz that's the standard the GOP has set.

    • Veritas78

      Oddly, Callista is the one potential first lady who actually is a slut, in the "purest" sense of the word—and a home-wrecker to boot, by the dictionary definition, unless Gingrich's domicile is not actually a home (which it might not be).

  • SexySmurf

    After condemning DeNiro as “rich enough he probably doesn’t notice the price of gasoline,”

    Unlike Newt, who is so poor he has to give history lessons to truckers at rest stops for nickles.

    • LesBontemps

      Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Maybe Newt is giving up on the GOP and joining the Rainbow Party.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Unlike Newt, who is so poor he has to give history lessons blow jobs to truckers at rest stops for nickles.

      As in, "I'm going to give you a blow job you'll never forget!"

      • People who explain other people's jokes should be skull-fucked!!

    • Negropolis

      History lessons, eh? That's what the kids are calling 'em these days, huh?

  • Wilcoxyz

    Newt dumps white ladies every few years. He's racist against cancer and MS.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Gingrich is taking extreme umbrage on behalf of all the FLOTUS in waiting? Or was he naming the members of his Next Wive's Club?

  • chascates

    Too soon for a white first lady jokes? Inappropriate!

    Watermelon, witch doctor, or Muslim attire jokes? Just HUMOR, for god's sake!

  • Lucidamente1

    I'll never be ready for this:

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Gotta hand it to Calista, that hair helmet has the most amazingly artificial color/texture I've ever seen. It's nothing less than a work of art.

    • Biff

      I've been so intent on Calypso's hair, nose and razor-thin lips that I've neglected her fucking knock-knees. Lotta aspirin have fallen from between them, I'd bet.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Looks like the early bird line outside of the Kissing Cousins (it's an all you can eat that catered to the olds in Florida)

  • Abernathy

    No need to demand an apology, newt. Unlike every mealymouthed conservative who's all like, "I don't hate ladies, but I do support Limbaugh, therefore, by "logic," Limbaugh doesn't hate ladies, stop throwing lady-shaped bombs, librulz" I think many of us would go on record in full support of DeNiro's joke. It's the closest to cool he's come in a long time.

  • OkieDokieDog

    Uh, Noot? Bob was not talkin' to you.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    After condemning DeNiro as “rich enough he probably doesn’t notice the price of gasoline,”

    …and lives in NY, and probably hasn't driven a car since Ronin.

    • But he did drive the shit out of that BMW, didn't he?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Well, that was some pretty fancy driving. After that, there is simply nothing left to prove.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Newt, just don't pull a "You talkin' to me?" It won't work.

  • SmutBoffin

    To the Republican presidential candidates of TwenTeeTwelve,

    Your shit is predictable and boring. Please do any two (2) of the following by the Nat'l Convention:

    1) appear on the TeeVee show where you exchange spouses for a week,
    2) accidentally (or on purpose, whatever) vomit on a voter,
    3) release a videotape where you say "whitey",
    4) not talk about faux-populist crap for 3 minutes and make a serious policy suggestion.

    • Biff

      5) Just fuck off and go away, already.

  • SoBeach

    "It was at an Obama fundraiser, it is exactly wrong, it divides the country…"

    He's right. It divides the country between grown-ups who can understand a rather weak joke, and blubbery, red-faced, screechy peckerheads who think if they whine loud enough the joke will somehow balance out Limbaugh's assholeishness.

    • SmutBoffin

      See, if you take the limit as the vituperative variable approaches infinity and employ Kristol's identity, we see that DeNiro is EXACTLY WRONG.


      • SoBeach

        You sound like you went to college, snob.

  • Z Crudmonger

    Newt needs to go home and get his fucking shine box.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    “Callista Gingrich. Karen Santorum. Ann Romney. Now do you really think our country is ready for a white first lady?”

    Mrs. Ron Paul is really the one who should be offended here.

    • Mahousu

      I think she's more gray than white.

    • Biff

      What does that make Marcus Bachmann, chopped liver?

      • Veritas78

        Queen For A Day does not count.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Newt, if Mr DeNiro apologizes, then will you fucking drop out of the race? Please?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      No no no no no NO. You will not deprive us of Newt making a final stand at the Convention that easily.

      There will be blood. And popcorn.

      • Bezoar

        I just bought a brand-new Rival Air Popper, 1,400 Watts, works great! I'm planning ahead.

  • Redhead

    Why do obscenely rich people call other obscene and rich people "rich" as though it's some horrific insult when in reality they're all rich and obscene?

  • Sassomatic

    Are we ready for a marshmallow and a lady-shaped bit of plastic to occupy the White House? No.

    • LesBontemps

      Not a mere marshmallow, but a whole Moon Pie.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      [a giant marshmallow man crashes through the streets of DC]

      "Well, there's something you don't see every day."

  • el_donaldo

    I hate to state the obvious, but when is Newt going to apologize for his joke campaign that has offended anyone with a basic sense of decency or reality?

  • el_donaldo

    BTW, what happened to the tiny auxiliary Wonkette in the right-hand column? Is this the austerity-era Wonkette we're seeing now?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      There are no back pages at the new Wonkette. Everything rates above-the-fold front page coverage!!

      • All articles are better than average now

        • BaldarTFlagass


    • Biff

      Wonkwire is dead, and now with the new type or die mentality, we have to read and comment on 15 posts each and every day, but at least no mention of santorum yet today, so yay?

  • freakishlywrong

    Well fuck. I had something and then read the update. This is not like Flush. There is NO NEED for anything to be deemed "inappropriate", fer fuck's sake already.

  • thefrontpage

    Robert DeNiro should run for president–THEN we'll get some things done around here! And Moron Gingrich–DeNior was making a JOKE. It is HUMOR. It is a JOKE. The desperateness of the morons on the right to take any little thing and blow it up into nothingness just to score moronic and idiotic and psycho fringe points is pathetic. Just pathetic! DeNiro/Pesci 2012!

  • Mahousu

    The only thing that will mollify Callista is if De Niro and/or Obama get her something from her Tiffany's wish list. She's given up on Newt ever since his credit line got cut off.

  • ElPinche

    Callista Gingrich is so white, she makes Karen Santorum look like Ann Romney.

  • proudgrampa

    Oh for fuck's sake.

    Really, Michelle?

  • Lighten up, Francis.

  • WiscDad

    I'm pretty sure that Newt and Mitt and Rick, their wives, their NASCAR and sport team owner friends, their banking, manufacturing and oil friends…and just about everyone within the six degrees of separation from them are rich enough to not notice the price of gas. Who the fuck is he to call out a rich person. (Eric Cartman voice)….Stupid rich people

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    The Food Stamp President who Hates Israel and is seeking to Destroy America by discouraging work and encouraging a Culture of Laziness among Shiftless Negroes absolutely must apologize for this hideous misrepresentation of the truth.

  • HistoriCat

    I think De Niro should apologize. If you're going to be speaking at a fundraiser, you really should bring better material. Come on Bobby, you know hordes of creative types – can't you find one who can help you come up with a good joke?

    • SorosBot

      Have you seen any of his "comedies" for the past decade and a half or so? I think it's obvious the answer is no.

    • I was thinking that myself – the real outrage is the lameness of the joke.

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    I stillsee everything twice!

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Hey newt, your panties are so far up your butt right now that I'm pretty sure they have santorum on them.

    • SorosBot


  • BaldarTFlagass

    Yeah, like trying to salvage his train wreck of a campaign.

  • joshleefolsom

    It was funny, I laughed, but frankly I think Colin Quinn gave him that joke, so there's his out.

  • freakishlywrong

    This will loop on Faux until the next fauxrage.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Don't Re-Niro!!!

  • fuflans

    Listen, you fuckers, you screwheads. Here is a man who would not take it anymore. A man who stood up against the scum, the cunts, the dogs, the filth, the shit. Here is a man who stood up.

    travis bickle

  • ElPinche

    Yesterday, all the wingtards were screaming "1st amendment!!" about those racist bumper stickers, and now they're whining about Deniro's joke. Fuck them. Fuck that big fat whining pussy Newt. And fuck his sun bleached ghost wife.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    "But Gingrich, speaking at a campaign event in Shreveport, La.,"

    That is the real joke. I am originally from there. I wonder why he even has to have an event there given the backwater bunch that would vote conservative anyway.

  • If people on the left want to talk about talk show hosts, then everybody in the country should hold the president accountable when someone at his event says something that is utterly and terribly unacceptable as what Robert De Niro said.

    Uh, did Rush get fired or anything?

    Republican Calvinball: If people on the left are allowed to keep breathing, then the President should cut Social Security and taxes for rich people.

    If only the President would just stop listening to them…

  • spends2much

    Yeah, yeah, Newt, Robert de Niro is history's greatest monster for that comment. As a white lady, I am soooooooooooooo offended.

    And let's ponder the idea of First Lady Callista Gingrich for a moment, shall we? A first lady whose "cause" would be, I don't know, how to tell real Tiffany's from fake? Lectures on how to move from Mistress to Wife? She's the shining light of Family Values that Murrica is craving.

  • realmurkin

    Do you really think our country's ready for a first lady who plasters her makeup like a trollop, (you cunt)?

    • Veritas78

      Happily, we weren't. Apparently we aren't, again.

      (I must say I have much more sympathy for Mrs. McCain.)

  • An_Outhouse

    Newt's envious of successful people. It isn't pretty.

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    If this were The West Wing, we'd see Michelle glowering at the TV screen as the aide apologizes, then she'd turn to Barack, toss off a comment combining disdain for political necessity and a raunchy innuendo, and then they'd cut to commercial.

  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    Hold on. This isn't a roast, nor is it the Correspondent's Dinner. de Niro really should call this one back, because this is the presidency. They can be fun-loving and light on snark, but I agree that race should not be part of the esprit.

    I mean, hell. Barry said so in his "A More Perfect Union" speech.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Eh, context matters. This was a joke, by a well-known mouthy celebrity, at a partisan fundraiser for Pete's Sake.

      • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

        I guess we'll have to ATD, because you're right in the context, and right in the partisanship… yet I feel that it still links back to an incumbent Presidency.

        Mind you, I also feel sad that white America sit at the edge of their seats every night, brooding, tense… they're waiting for this black man to show off his blackness. They hated knowing Stevie Wonder and EW&F played parties in the White House. They want him to play any race card sooo badly, so they can finally point out how much of a "nigra" he is, in spite of his whiteness.

        And I'll assure you, that makes me waaaay sadder than de Niro's snark… but it isn't part of the Rachel Maddow roundtable discussion.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Try to cheer up and just borrow a little religion from Voltaire:

          "I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it."

          • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

            You work miracles, Lascaux. I am spry once more.

  • elburritodeluxe

    Race War! Race War! It's on! The shit is on!

  • Having won the War Against Women, Republicans move on to the War On Humor.

  • Nesnora

    In Gingrich land you are only divided by the moist cleft in his monstrous pale ass— one cheek suffocates facts while the other oppresses history.

  • Urban_Achiever

    Robert DeNiro–while you're at it, go ahead and apologize to Bristol as well. I'm sure you've offended her in some way that she has yet to blog about.

  • Guppy

    De Niro is sorry that conservatives made him call those white bitches white, just like conservatives do all the time.

  • As is well-known, Bobby is not even ready for a white first lady in the De Niro household, so he just assumed most Americans share his values. I'm surprised the FLOTUS didn't have to slap his face herself.

  • After condemning DeNiro as “rich enough he probably doesn’t notice the price of gasoline,” and “successful enough he probably doesn’t notice the unemployment rate,” Gingrich continued to express outrage over the line.

    To be fair, Gingrich is also rich enough that he doesn't notice the price of gasoline, and has never done honest work a day in his life, so probably isn't affected by unemployment either.

    And he's hoping that voters are racist enough that they don't notice that gas prices were just as high in 2008 and Gingrich's plan to piss off every muslim on the planet will drive them higher, and angry enough about the fact that there's a Nigra in the White House that they don't notice that employment's been going up steadily for months.

  • Bezoar

    It's the attack of the imaginaries I think he has to fear.

  • Wonderthing

    Yep. Tightass whities will rule. If you let them.

  • owhatever

    Sorry, Newt, but the President is busy calling Brisket Palin today to say sorry, sorry about something. You have to get in line. How about we send Joe Pesci and his baseball bat to see you instead?

  • Steverino247

    And if Obama apologizes, the right will bitch about how Obama is always apologizing.

    And I loved that "go get your fucking shine box" comment!

  • I don't recall anyone demanding that the Republican presidential candidates apologize for Rush's slutgate.

  • Funny how when I did a google for "is america ready for a black first lady", I came back with several dozen columns in major news outlets from late 2008. There's basically no way that that's what De Niro was making a joke about, though, right? It must really be that he's reverse-racist.

    • Beat me by a minute! Yeah, that's the butt of the joke.

      • Bezoar

        And it's funny! I mean, it is if you have a sense of humor, history, and proportion.

    • swell65

      Robert DeNiro doesn't care about white people.

  • Bezoar

    Today, we are all Robert DeNiro.

  • It was a clumsy joke, but a meta-joke, that actually poked fun at wingnut attitudes. So of course, Obama must apologize!

  • Honestly, I don't even see why Gingrich or Romney should be offended. After all, it's pretty obvious that they're both black themselves.

    (I bet you all forgot that guy exists didn't you? You're welcome, Wonkeratti)

    • Oh Jesus, not that clown again. Listen, the only way to stop his stream of idiotic videos is to talk the Obama Girl into fucking him.

  • BarackMyWorld

    We've now entered the part of the campaign where candidates will complain about any little thing just in hopes something will stick. Or as Fox News calls it: Tuesday.

  • barto

    Well, as Obama would say, "Where da white wimmin at?"

  • Joey_Blau

    bah… better: "we appologise that Newt is a grasping pretentious boor."

  • The_Trainman

    Yo, Bobby! (thumbs up)

  • Not sure who I am more annoyed by, these morons for manufacturing yet another poutrage or the FLOTUS staffer that apologized to the lunatics.

  • crybabyboehner

    Newt "Numbnuts" Gingrich, meet Travis Bickle.

  • neiltheblaze

    Ridiculous. He didn't call Callista a home wrecking Tiffany skank or anything.

  • rocktonsam

    that was pretty cool when De Niro and Pesci went on SNL and beat up Colin Quinn and that pothead guy.

  • First Bill Maher, now Rober DeNiro… When will this shameful, foul, unholy, disgusting, dreadful, impious, nasty, evil, mean-spirited, misogynistic, distasteful, RNC devised, Rupert Murdoch funded, callous, wicked, simply not very nice Liberal War Against Women end?!?

  • Negropolis

    Good ironic snark, Bobby. Really.

  • ttommyunger

    Having split my share of Dark Oak myself over the years, I can only say, Huzza, Sir! As they say in the South: "I thought I was fucking all these years until I saw a couple of them fucking."

  • EmileZoloft

    Stupid as it is to demand an apology for that, Newt's at least right in demanding it from Obama, because can you imagine asking Robert DeNiro to apologize to you?

  • soeoho

    Da weft hand doesn't know what the white hand is doin'

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