Wait a minute Mr. PostmanGOTCHA, Barack NOoObamA! You know how on Law & Order they always manage to find a witness who says, “Yeah, I do remember a little somethin’ funny in that parking lot three Tuesday mornings ago. There was a tan Camry, plate started with 473A. It was in space 42, I remember, and I noticed the guy was staring at the docks and was holding a bloody dagger. Do you think that might be helpful?” and then the whole thing just opens up like a beautiful bloody-dagger-holding tulip. Those detectives are always so lucky! Well, sometimes such wonderful people with perfect recall (“eidetic memory”) show up in real life too, like this mailman, who has sworn to Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s “posse” of birthers looking into the worse-than-Watergate coverup about … you know … things, that he totally absolutely remembers meeting Barack Obama outside the home of the mother of domestic terrorist Bill Ayers, and the mother of domestic terrorist Bill Ayers told this mailman that Bill Ayers was helping a “foreign student” with a funny name from either Indonesia or Kenya through Harvard? Then the mailman met Barack Obama, and totally remembers the young man he met the one time, because he was very polite and nicely dressed (sounds like our Bamz!) and he said, “My name is Barack Obama, remember it because I will be president of the United States some day, after I have denied having more than a passing acquaintance with the domestic terrorist son of the woman whose house we are standing outside.” Something like that. Noted investigative journalist Jerome Corsi explains!

“He greeted me,” Hulton says. “He was very polite, dressed nicely, but informally – slacks and a dress shirt – and he spoke with no accent. Immediately this young black man entered into conversation with me. He told me he had taken the train out from Chicago and had come to thank the Ayers family personally for having helped him with his education.”

Hulton remembers asking the young man what his plans were for the future.

“He looked right at me and told me he was going to be president of the United States,” Hulton says.

“There was a little bit of a grin on his face when he said it – he sounded sure of himself, but not arrogant. I know how people will say things because they have an ambition, but it did not come across that way,” Hulton says. “It came across as if this young black male was telling me he was going to be president, almost as if it were the statement of a scientific fact that had already been determined, as if his being president had been already pre-arranged.”

Hulton says the claim made him speechless.

That mailman sounds really nice! There’s ever so much more from Corsi over at WingNutDaily — how far the train station was from the home of the mother of domestic terrorist Bill Ayers; where Michelle Robinson Obama worked when she mentored Barack and whether other domestic terrorists worked there as well (they did!); and many other neatly tied threads to the mystery of … you know, whatever. Have fun! [WND]

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  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    I wish Barack would use all this power these people have inadvertently imbued him with, and wipe them out with it.

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    Hey, I smoked dope with Barry once. He, Hitler and I enjoyed a few blunts.

    • Wait…were you sitting to the left of Jeffrey Dahmer?

    • oldedinvn

      I remember that day. What a laugh I had about Barry & Adolph chocking. You sir, seemed to have been too used to it.

    • el_donaldo

      On Mars? I think I saw you guys there!

    • WiscDad

      Roy Blunt?

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      You know who else smoked blunts with Hitler?

      • teebob2000

        Hitler? No wait, how would that work?

        • doloras

          He was BESIDE HIMSELF with joy.

    • Steverino247

      Oh, heil yeah, baby. Heil yeah.

    • Nostrildamus

      Was there a LaRouchie photographer there?

  • freakishlywrong

    You know, I never knew who the fuck Bill Ayers was until the wingtards started screaming about him. Shit isn't sticking, fuckwits.

    • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

      Isn't he a weather man in DC or something…?

      • Dashboard Buddha

        You may be thinking of Wink Summers.

        • freakishlywrong

          Flip Spiceland. I shit you not.

          • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

            It is no accident that Jim Cantore is lookin' buff as hell.

      • He used to be the religious reporter on WPLJ. Father Bill Ayres. I kid you not

        (Ok, a little…I keed!)

    • smitallica

      That's why they pivoted to the even more sinister, more communist-y, more nobody-ever-fucking-heard-of-him SAUL ALINSKY! (Dun-dun DUUUNNNNNHHHH!!!!)
      They have nothing.

      • Doktor StrangeZoom

        Don't forget the Cloward-Piven strategy! We all study that one day and night too, in our mandatory communist cell meetings.

      • He's a JOOOOO, you know. Them JOOOOOZ R dangerous wut with all their edjumacation and thinkifying and big brainz and stuff.

        Damn, doesn't the racism of this particular set of accusations ever BLIND these fools? It's SO glaringly obvious that they picked up some unknown guy with a Jewish name because it's all scary to the honkies and all.

    • oldedinvn

      I hate you young fucks what dont not no history of where you might live. Pommies & Oz people are excused. Not Limmie Lizzie.

    • Chichikovovich

      I knew Bill Ayers well. I would always give him a call whenever I had to know which way the wind blows. But one day he pointed out to me that I didn't need him for that.

      • sarah_connor

        well played…

      • I always suspected your REAL name was Bob.

    • SorosBot

      It's so ridiculous; here was a guy pretty much nobody has heard of, but now he's the WORST TERRIST EVAH (even though he didn't actually kill anybody) because of an organization he was involved with way back in ancient history, when Obama was ten, and before most people around today were even born. All because he kind of knew Obama. Nobody gives a shit, wingnuts.

      • GunToting[Redacted]

        Well, other than the wingnuts.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      See also: Saul Alinsky.

    • Honestly I only knew who Weather Underground were because of the girls who blew themselves up in that East Village apartment, one of whom is tragically basically the most notable alumna of Lesbian Girlscout College, the sister cousin school of Atheist Liberal College.

      • Oh yes, Atheist Liberal College and Lesbian Girl Scout College collaborate yearly on the "Easter Gender-Blind Casting Passion Play Bacchanalia", which has been the subject of stern editorials in the National Catholic Register.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Well, it's like everything else with these clowns – it doesn't matter that you don't understand the reference, it isn't for you. It is for people who have a dark place in their soul that they need to fill with some inherently implausible but facile explanation. Because admitting that they just hate the man because he's blah, and they moved to Arizona to get away from the scary blahs, and they are still burned that communist bastard MLK got a holiday, would be too much to admit.

      So they simultaneously claim he's a socialist, Marxist, communist, facist, foreigner, radical, useless, feckless, ruthless, scheming, stupid, brilliantly dangerous Chicago style (which most people think as effective, but they read as palling around with Al Capone) politician. All of which is somehow code for blah.

  • smitallica

    I saw Chloe Sevigny eating chicken wings at the Beanery on the Promenade one night last week. Seriously. Do I have to spell it out for you??
    WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!1!!!!1!

    • That's nothing!

      Once, I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's!

      And his hair was perfect!

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      When I was in college in the summer of 1981, I bused Harrison Ford's table, and he was really quite a nice guy!!!!!

    • NeonTrotsky

      Hey, I saw Chloe and Harmony Korine looking unshowered on the subway. IT ALL CONNECTS! THE CHLOE CONSPIRACY!

  • AlterNewt

    "He looked right at me and told me he was going to be president of the United States,” Hulton says."

    Well, that's pretty uppity.

    • WiscDad

      Bwaahahaha…that was great!!!

    • Because, of course, EVUHboddy tells some mail carrier they've never met before and don't know all the secrets of their lives.

      Sheesh, my mail carrier's been doing the route for 20+ years, and while I chat with the bugger regularly, I'll be damned if I'm introducing him to my friends or telling him my business plans.

  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    Also, do you think this will be reflected on by the wingnutters as proof that he's the antichrist, or proof that he's always been power-mad, or proof that single-parent households are moral, virtue-less failures?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I kinda dig that the anti-christ is my president. I hope the rest of the world knows it, too. That way, nobody will be fuckin' with us, see?

    • CZL

      All of them, Katie.

  • AbandonHope

    Wait, I thought that back then he was going by "Barry Soetoro". Which fantastically unlikely decades-spanning liberal-conspiracy theory is it, huh? Huh?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I believe that mailman!!!

    • Yea, I'm absolutely certain he was not compensated in any way, shape, or form for this statement given thirty years later and not even in 2008.

    • Chichikovovich

      Me too. After all, he was commended for 39 years of honorable service to the USPS. That's the mark of a man of quality and virtue.

      • BerkeleyBear

        Cliff Clavin supports your endorsement! And the loser Ratzenburger who played him (and hates Obama from what I recall).

        • doloras

          Ratzenburger? Is he related to the Pope?!? That would explain a lot.

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      If you can't trust the word of a US postal carrier, really, why even bother having an America anymore?

    • chicken_thief

      Actually, my uncle used to live in Chicago. During the summers I would visit and stay with him for a couple of weeks at a time. In the summer of '88 I was sitting on the porch and the mailman came by. We started chatting a little bit about this and that, and after awhile it occurred to me that this douche bag was one lying motherfucker. So I started making up shit just so this Cliff Claven goober would try to top me and sure enough, he did. After awhile I got tired of it so let him get on his merry way, but I'll never forgot that lying s.o.b – Allen Hulton.

      • katamaran24

        I accept without doubt or suspicion your totally believable remembrance.

  • Clean and articulate?
    (clutches pearls)

  • Baconzgood


    • oldedinvn

      You lefties never believe the truth even when we make it up.
      Truth is what we want it to be.
      Learn dolt, we are more than 50%.
      If 53 million would vote for the shrub, imagine what we can do to a black guy, even if he does everything we want. He is still blah.

  • Bezoar

    In that portrait he needs a hairlight. Something a professional photographer would have used. Also, notice how his eyes seem to follow you?

    • Clearly, you've never shot school portaits. You're lucky to get a fill light.

    • oldedinvn

      I noticed that when I left the room, the eyes still followed me. Damn, Barry & his spies frighten me.

  • wonderful people with perfect recall (“eidetic memory”)

    Thank you! I knew I had that special something only few people have (not sure how many people, exactly), and always remember it's important to brag about it (though I couldn't be sure what purpose it serves), since it's so cool to possess such a quality (I just can't always remember what it's called).

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Myself, I have a pornographic memory.

      • LetUsBray

        I have a phonographic memory: I remember every record player I've ever met.

        • I have a pantographic memory: I remember not to touch the overhead wires on the train line.

          • GunToting[Redacted]

            I have a photogenic memory. It's beautiful.

      • AbandonHope

        I'm pretty sure I had one of those between the ages of 14 and 29. Seems to have quieted down lately, though. Must have run out of juice for the pornograph.

        • Unpossible! Or, you need a testosterone injection…

      • Major Thom

        Don't let Ricky hear that.

      • Bowchickawhatnow?

      • oldedinvn

        I only remember my fuck ups.
        With a lot of luck, someday I will remember the night before when I said something cool.
        If only I could live to a thousand & prayed that accidents happened.

    • (“eidetic memory”)

      That's a novel spelling of "idiotic". Norwegian, maybe?

  • Tundra Grifter

    Good thing the young Mr. Obama wasn't walking back from a convenience store with canned ice tea and Skittles in his pocket.

    • oldedinvn

      What a dream. how much better Umerika would be without a blah president.
      I miss the great Umerika when I could get in an accident drunk & explain that I thought it was a blah person pulling a knife on me. Sometimes the cops said it nwas a light pole asshole. Most times I walked by saying that it looked blah.

  • AbandonHope

    As we all know, postal workers are always models of sanity and restraint, so I totally believe this guy.

    • This guy sounds reasonable, like he only threatened to shoot up his job.

  • not that Dewey

    One bright, warm Chicagoland day, he recounts, he met the student who fit Mary Ayers’ description in front of the Ayers home in Glen Ellyn, Ill. That young man, Hulton is convinced, was Barack Obama.

    HOLY CRAP!! I lived in Glen Ellyn, IL in the late 80s/early 90s. I must be part of the conspiracy. There was a guy who used to come into the Village Links pro shop, where I was a waiter. He would order a pitcher of lemonade and call me "chief". That must have been Bill Ayers. And then my stepfather barricaded himself in the bedroom with his mistress and piles of guns and coke and my mother divorced him, the end.

    • sewollef

      Your story warms my heart. At least you escaped those horrific times with your sanity, right…?

      • not that Dewey

        Who's to say what "sanity" really is…

    • banana_bread

      I like downtown Glen Ellyn. They have a yarn store, a great breakfast place, and an Anthrax-R-Us for the terrorists. Parking can be a pain, though.

      However, downtown Wheaton is better; they have TWO yarn stores.

      • not that Dewey

        There's that new Al Yvgarden, where the terrorists love to eat.

        I actually went to HS in Wheaton, or "Christian Jihadi Wheaton", as Riley used to call it. Got to see Ronaldus Magnus come through for the dedication of the Billy Graham Center — "Accelerating Global Christian Jihad Evangelism"

    • tcaalaw

      And then my stepfather barricaded himself in the bedroom with his mistress and piles of guns and coke

      You can't tell us something like that without telling us how the standoff ended!

    • Christ, dood, I sure as fuck hope this is just you yarnin' and not fer realz.

      • not that Dewey

        It's all true, except the Bill Ayers part. Some guy really did call me "chief", or sometimes "sport".

        That was a global minimum for my mom. She had rebound-married this guy, who seemed normal enough — firefighter, divorced single dad of two cool kids.

        But then he turned out to be a total monster. The girlfriend would write passive-aggressive notes in lipstick on my mom's windshield. He left my mom with all kinds of debt. After the divorce, he was castigated by the rest of the firehouse/EMT/hospital crew, who sided with their friend the ER nurse over this freak.

        The two kids are grown now, and one is an EMT who works with mom, and they get along fine. The ex-stepdad's brother, with whom I am even now facebook friends, is a wonderful guy. He got back-of-Rolling-Stone-ordained as a minister, and he officiated at my and Mrs D's wedding in the jazz club.

      • not that Dewey

        I hadn't thought about it quite a while, until I saw Glen Ellyn mentioned in the WND article (THANKS ALOT, WND!!)

        I was doing one of those online credit report thingies a couple years ago, and it asked my to verify my previous addresses, of which I've had about a billion. I remember most of them. But I didn't even recognize that one, and I failed that portion of the verification process and it wouldn't let me see my credit report. About a week later, I had a V-8 realization that it was that dog-forsaken house in Glen Ellyn.

  • Someday I will have more pee than Barb. [/spoken as if a scientific fact]

    (I hope no one remembers seeing me at Rebecca's house.)

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I'm just glad that the future president didn't meet George Zimmerman on the street that fateful day.

    Edit: Dangit, Tundra!

  • LabRodent

    Its ALWAYS the mailman!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I'm starting to think that Obama is the African-American Randall Flagg.

    • tessiee

      Is that why one of his nicknames is "The Dark Man"?

    • Hey, I was convinced that Rick Perry was Randall Flagg, but he turned out to be the most inept Paul Lynde impersonator of all time.

  • Baconzgood

    "He was very polite, dressed nicely…Clean and articulate"

    What he didn't scream "M-Fer, I want more iced tea,"?

    • oldedinvn

      If he was well dressed & polite, he could not have been blah.
      What does articulate mean?

      • Biff

        In my line of work, articulate means to steer an earth-moving vehicle via a hinged center pivot point, which I'm quite sure is what the mailman was referring to.

  • Goonemeritus

    “He looked right at me and told me he was going to be president of the United States,” Hulton says.

    I keep writing “Dictator for life in a small Caribbean Nation” on my ten year goals for my annual review. HR is not amused and my boss says it makes it difficult for him to do the gap analysis.

    • Steverino247

      I always write "Survival" on mine. And they are not amused here, either.

  • Obama also introduced himself the same way on a 1988 episode of Card Sharks. I was home sick from grade school, but it couldn't have been anyone else. I was only 9 years old, but wondered, "how can this guy be president if he's guessing 'higher' on a 9? He's definitely going to raise taxes on the rich."
    I remember it like it was yesterday. I had left the couch to get a Capri Sun (tropical punch). When he lost the game to a Santa Monica housewife, he was very polite (not uppity at all!) as he graciously departed, saying "allahu akbar" when he received his parting gift of Snuggles fabric softner. Now he's "president." I'll never forget that day.

    • teebob2000

      I was just going to say that exact same thing.

    • Call Joe Arpaio IMMEDIATELY! He MUST KNOW.

  • SorosBot

    "and he spoke with no accent"

    So apparently a black man speaking with no "accent" is remarkable and surprising to this man. But he's not racist, no.

    • Bezoar

      Wouldn't it have been a Kenyan accent? Or Indonesian? Or Madrassan? Etc.

      • South Chicago, knowI'msayin'?

        • So he spoke with either a Polish or Mexican accent, then?

    • "Beef jerky time!"

    • Biff

      It's a significant point–I can barely conceal my own Kenyan colonial accent, myself.

  • freakishlywrong

    OT, but speaking of domestic terrorists; Eddie Munster really ass-raped the "rest of us" with his new "budget". All Republics will blindly support.

    • Limeylizzie

      And all "disappointed" Progressives will still complain about our Barry.

    • teebob2000

      YOUR problem for not being a millionaire!! You can come rake my lawn while I'm paying NO taxes on my capital gains. Ta-ta, poor!!! Ah-hahhahahahaha!!

    • Raw Story is saying the Repuglycant's are surprisingly slow to support, so far. Apparently, they're not happy that it's TRILLIONS of dollars off.

  • Urban_Achiever

    Where's the part where the mailman rips off his rubber mask and starts muttering about "meddling kids"?

  • LabRodent

    I betcha my mailman remembers my dog Rex! Oh yeah he remembers Rex.

    • Chichikovovich

      But the joke was on you when Rex became King of America, as planned and the postman blew the whistle. A bit arrogant to give him that name, thinking your postman wouldn't know Latin, but now Corsi's got you.

  • cheetojeebus

    Can somebody please ask this 'postman' where I left the extra set of keys to the truck?

  • Tundra Grifter

    From the Wing Nutz' Daily account:

    "Hulton assumed that by 'helping' the student, Mary Ayers meant she and her husband were financially supporting the black foreign-exchange student with his education."

    That's some rock-solid journalism right there! When I help out around the house, that means I'm paying for everyone's college education. Including our cat and dog.

    "Even should Obama waive privacy rights, the Hawaii Department of Health might not feel compelled to release any adoption records that may exist. Tight restrictions to vital records have been enacted by the Hawaii State Legislature to seal any public documents pertaining to Obama’s birth records and his adoption status."

    They write this as if the laws were specifically passed to prevent Mr. Obama's double-secret records from ever seeing the light of day! Just when did Hawaii pass the "Obama Privacy Act?"

    The garbage about adoption removing citizenship per the US Constitutions is classic WND and evil "Dr." Corsi raving. Like a drunk in a bar at closing time, desperate for attention and someone to listen…

    • Terry

      Do you know what single piece of evidence should end any adoption discussion? Have you ever seen that photo of Obama as a little boy playing on the beach with his maternal grandfather? They are like twins except for skin color.

      Then again, when have simple facts and evidence gotten in the way of an awesome conspiracy story?


      • SoBeach

        I've never seen that picture. You're right about Obama and his grandfather. And the picture is adorable.

      • Chichikovovich

        Oh sure. His "maternal grandfather". That guy looks like Nikita Khrushchev to me.

      • DaRooster

        Watch out for the hit man in the background though…

        Wonder when that kid is gonna come forward with evidence.

      • I didn't know they were pulling adoption out of their asshats! Are they blind?! Barack, his mother, his grandfather and Malia Obama are all unmistakably on the same family tree.

        • Barack Hussein Obama is the spitting image of Stanley Dunham, big ears, beautiful smile, crinkled eyes, everything. Except the skin colour and the hair, they could be twins separated by 50 years.

          I cannot believe these people have gone so fucking batshit insane that they would rather believe this mendacious prick, Corsi, over the evidence of their own lyin' eyes.

      • luke_warm

        They let him go in the ocean? How were they not more concerned about the welfare of the future President of the United States?

  • SorosBot

    Oh, and get your guilt by association conspiracy theories straight, crazy stupid birthers; Ayers and Obama didn't know each other until after Obama had moved to Chicago, when he was teaching at the University of Chicago after he had graduated Harvard; there's no way Ayers could have helped with Obama's education.

    Not to mention that if this guy wasn't making shit up you'd think he would have told the story someone who is actually credible, instead of one of the biggest racist fascist fucks in the country.

  • A Republican mailman…Karl Malone perhaps?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Apparently still bitter over having no championship ring.

      • not that Dewey

        So the postman doesn't always ring twice?

        • BaldarTFlagass

          Not even once, though they did make the Finals that one time, only to be jobbed by an at-death's-door flu-ridden Michael Jordan.

    • Chichikovovich

      So that's why the referees didn't call Jordan for the obvious push-off on Byron Russell. And Jordan played for Chicago. It all fits. Wake up sheeple!

      • Cause Malone choking every single time had nothing to do with it, right?

      • First, a Chicago Thug usurps the virginal, White Oval Orifice. Then, Chicago poaches Utah's 3 best players. Now, Chicago is the best team in the NBA, and longtime Utah coach and former Chicago Bull Jerry Sloan has retired from coaching in disgust! Wheels within wheels!1!1!

  • CapnFatback

    Hulton says the claim made him speechless.

    A condition that lasted throughout the 2008 campaign and most of Obama's first term, presumably.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    “It came across as if this young black male was telling me he was going to be president, almost as if it were the statement of a scientific fact that had already been determined, as if his being president had been already pre-arranged.”

    He was obviously one of the "Boys from Blah-zil".

    • Bezoar

      Now that was funny. But that's a problem, 'cuz I'm at work, where laughing out loud is disapproved.

    • That was pretty choice.

  • dadanarchist

    Well, I know a guy who knows a guy whose sister's beautician's husbands' boss' third-cousin thrice-removed's bellboy's taekwondo masters' penpal's masseuse's mechanics' landlady TOTALLY SAW Bill Ayers, Derrick Bell and Saul Alinsky circle jerk into a tube in an advanced genetics lab in Albania and that test tube said: Barack Obama. That's right, bitchez, ALBANIA! Kenya is just a red black herring!

    Joseph Farah, I'm waiting for my call and my birfer buxxx!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      "That's right, bitchez, ALBANIA! Kenya is just a red black herring!"

      Your move, Enver Hoxha.

  • oldedinvn

    I remember years ago on a drunk night. I met Mitt, Newt & Rick in a place of ladies of negotiable affections. I remember only because none of them tipped & I heard rough language from the ladies to them.
    National Enquirer wnt a story?,

  • Baconzgood

    These people are getting on my nerves more than the moon landing people. Barry should pull a Buzz Aldrin on their asses.

  • fartknocker

    Joe Arpaio, I knew him. He's the Sheriff in Maricopa County, Arizona who chases Mexican housekeepers and landscapers over immigration status but can't investigate the reported sexual abuse of over 200 children in his jurisdiction. Instead he out playing "birther searcher" because a Black man who is the President.

    I got a three leg dog named Tripod and when he shits in my front yard he sometimes barks "Kenya." I bet he can find the president's real birf certificate.

  • StarsUponThars

    " … the claim made him speechless." Totally know that feeling.

  • DaRooster

    "…and he spoke with no accent."

    Welp, this story is blown… hell you can't find anyone in this country without an accent.

  • DaRooster

    "…almost as if it were the statement of a scientific fact that had already been determined, as if his being president had been already pre-arranged.”

    Of course it is scientific dummy… hello… The Bible!! Sheesh.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Oh please. I met Barack Obama outside the DQ in Birmingham, AL. I remember cause he whipped out this HUGE package and said "I'm gonna make every white man in this state jealous." He was right. And I too was speechless.

    • Limeylizzie

      I am so jealous, also.

    • Biff

      Don't be reDQlous!

    • ttommyunger

      Of course you were speechless, my deah. Southern girls know better than to talk with their mouth full, hee, hee.

      • FakaktaSouth

        Precisely! (That seriously just made me bust out laughing in front of a buncha folks I can't really explain this to – reading wonkette on my phone in public (esp whilst walking) is a dangerous habit.)

        • ttommyunger

          Thank you for taking my comment exactly as I'd hoped you would; you are truly a Southern Belle, my hat is off to you, ma'am and my apologies for any humorous inconvenience it may have caused you.

  • The_Trainman

    Bloody daggers can't be forgot. Glad this courageous fellow went public, it's about time.

  • BornInATrailer

    "“My name is Barack Obama, remember it because I will be president of the United States some day.."

    Haha, awesome. I read this and laughed, assuming that this, some manner of Manchurian Candidate goofiness, was merely implied in the story. But then the mail carrier just went ahead and said it.

    Oh, 'Becca, you really led this Corky down the garden path that time.

  • SoBeach

    There's a good living to be made peddling crap like this. Just ask the people who sold all the books claiming Clinton was an "Arkansas Mafia" drug runner who had all his enemies killed by state troopers. And there's only one rule in the conspiracy biz: Go big. NOTHING is so absurd the whack jobs won't believe it.

    • OK, so one time? I was in this Turkish bath in Greenwich Village and there was this dude with a big Fro talking to Dead Elvis and the black JFK about resurrecting an Egyptian pharaoh…

  • Guppy

    Any chance this mailman was making the rounds at Dealy Plaza in 1963?

    • We all misheard "grassy knoll," when it was really "gassy troll."

  • Barb

    I love mailmen! I understand to do this job your only talent has to be that you can walk.

    • Bezoar

      You're overlooking the demands of interfacing with a very wide array of challenging mailbox installations.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        And putting the mail in the mailbox of the proper recipient. I seem to get my neighbor's mail more frequently than seems normal.

    • dadanarchist

      Walk AND read AND count. Which, when you get down to it, is really asking a lot of your average red-blooded American. Viz. and Viz. and Viz. and etc. etc.

  • BornInATrailer

    Are we sure that John Ratzenberger isn't just reviving his Cheers character and punking WND?

    • boobookitteh

      Now that you mention it, I did hear Cliff Clavin's voice in my head as I read that account.

  • neiltheblaze

    Jerome Corsi isn't even trying hard anymore.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Given his audience, does he really have to?

    • He's certainly trying my nerves, and, as for hard, well,he hasn't been in a LONG time, so.

  • sarah_connor

    "He looked right at me and said, 'these aren't the droids you are looking for. You can move along.'"

  • Chichikovovich

    I guess we can conclude something solid from all this. Bill Ayers' mother was clearly pretty cheap when it came to handing out the Christmas tips.

  • WiscDad

    okay…so there was this black kid, wife of a domestic terrorist and a mailman standing in the street….

  • An_Outhouse

    Barry's been fucking with his time machine again.

  • There is no proof that that big-eared skinny kid was Obama. It could have been some other half-Kenyan Socialist Muslim with a secret cabal of terrorist backers destined to become president some day.

  • FraAnima

    “He looked right at me and told me he was going to be president of the United States,” Hulton says.

    "Afterwards, he sort of laughed. Like this: 'moowah hah hah ha ha!!!' And rubbed his hands together."

  • WiscDad

    Celebrity Death Match – Weatherman vs Mailman

  • DahBoner

    What a memory!

    Does he remember when I forgot to put proper postage on that letter?

  • I love how Thomas Ayers, Blue-Blooded Captain Of Chicago Industry, is now a Marxist Revolutionary in the fantasies of Wingnuts because his kid took the '60s a little too seriously:

    Thomas G. Ayers (February 16, 1915, Detroit, Michigan – June 8, 2007, Chicago, Illinois) was president (1964–1980), CEO and chairman (1973–1980) of Commonwealth Edison.[1]

    Ayers served as chairman of the Board of Trustees of Northwestern University, the Erikson Institute, the Bank Street College of Education in New York City, the Chicago Symphony, the Chicago Community Trust, the Chicago Urban League, the Community Renewal Society, the Chicago Association of Commerce and Industry, Chicago United, the Leadership Council for Metropolitan Open Communities, and Dearborn Park Corp.,[1] and served as vice president of the Chicago Board of Education.[2]

    Ayers also served on the board of directors of Sears, G.D. Searle, Chicago Pacific Corp., Zenith Corp., Northwest Industries, General Dynamics Corp. of St. Louis, First National Bank of Chicago, the Chicago Cubs, and the Tribune Co.[1]

    In 1938, he married Mary Andrew, the mother of his children. His son William Ayers, once the leader of the radical Weather Underground, has been a professor of education at the University of Illinois at Chicago since 1987.[3] His son John Ayers, once on the staff (1983–1986) of former U.S. Rep. Lane Evans (D-IL), is a national leader in charter school development.[4]

    If anything, the Old Man's worldview won out, if you look at Bill Ayer's career path post-inept-bombings, and despite his mild, egocentric rabble-rousing at education conferences (which I have witnessed).

  • HistoriCat

    Needs more chalkboard.

  • Schmegeg

    Once they get affidavits from the paperboy and the milkman, they can move for summary judgment.

  • You don't need a mailman to tell you bullshit's ZIP code.

  • GreatChristiano

    He spoke with no accent? WRONG!

    Wouldn't Barracka have had a Chicagoan accent?

  • Biff

    If The Donald's army of investigators had only done their job, it would have never gotten to this point.

  • It came across as if this young black male was telling me he was going to be president, almost as if it were the statement of a scientific fact that had already been determined, as if his being president had been already pre-arranged.

    At last–this explains everything. Thank you Jerome Corsi for making things so simple that even a five-year-old (or a typical Tea Party member) can understand them.

  • Limeylizzie

    More than a century ago, W.E.B. Dubois observed: "Daily the Negro is coming more and more to look upon law and justice, not as protecting safeguards, but as sources of humiliation and oppression. The laws are made by men who have little interest in him; they are executed by men who have absolutely no motive for treating the black people with courtesy or consideration; and, finally, the accused law-breaker is tried, not by his peers, but too often by men who would rather punish ten innocent Negroes than let one guilty one escape." How fucking little has changed.

  • A half-Kenyan in the suburbs of Chicago whose father was a Mau-Mau Revolutionary, who went to Harvard, and who built his career on Socialist rabble-rousing? I think the private dicks Wingnut Daily hired have just been tossing them Google links about Tom Morello:

    • Holy shit, he's Jomo Kenyatta's grandkid! This I did not know. Kenyatta was a hero to my people! Thank you for this wonderful nugget of information.

      You can tell I don't get out much or listen to any of you kidz' Noo-fangled music.

      • Hey, don't blame it on my generation, I had moved on to Hard Bop and Afropop by the time the kids started Raging Against The Machine.

  • iburl

    "as if his being president had been already pre-arranged"


  • sullivanst

    Too bad he forgot the part where Young Barack explained how and when he'd had fake birth announcements planted and two fake birth certificates drawn up so he could carry out his eebil genius plot to take over the world.

    Also, too… where was this guy four years ago?

  • sullivanst

    But don't you see how that just proves the coverup?

  • larrykat

    I have spoken with many "young black males." There were some young black males in the supermarket last night. I even saw some young black males on the way to work today. It seems like there are young black males everywhere.

  • Let's see if I can play the Wingnut Conspiracy Game here, dribbling a thin au jus of facts over the batshit.

    Obama attended Columbia in NYC from '81-'83, lived and worked in Chicago as a community organizer from '85-'88 before attending Harvard Law, and then moved back to Chicago after graduating in 1991.

    Bill Ayers came out of hiding in the early '80s and earned his education degrees at Bank Street College and (gasp!) Columbia!! in (OMG) NYC!!, in '84 and '87 respectively.

    So obviously, Bill Ayers met Obama in a socialist terrorist salon in New York City in the early '80s, and convinced his Blue Blood Captain Of Industry and Secret Marxist Dad to finance both of their advanced degrees and hook up Obama with a cover job way the fuck on the Southeast Side of Chicago, which is at least a 2-hour train commute from Thomas Ayers' North Korean, I mean North Suburban People's Palace.

    I don't know how either one of them kept a straight face and pretended to have just met, at the 1995 Satanic seance at Ayer's house to garner Sex Magick for Barack's State Senate campaign.

    What part of this isn't making sense to you?

    • banana_bread

      Well, Glen Ellyn is more west suburban than north. Otherwise it makes perfect sense.

      • You are of course correct. Thomas Ayers' refusal to live on the North Shore is the ultimate proof that he was a Stalinist!!1!

    • All of it, Chettie.

  • owhatever

    Through rain and sleet, dust and hail, storm and thunder, booze and drug hangovers, pedophelia arrests and five years in Shawshank, being chased by dogs, bitten by children and taking a gummint salary, the postman remembers something from a long time ago. Yeah. Hannity will be all over this.

  • swordfis

    Are there no workhouses? …. because Corsi and Arpaio need non-criminal jobs.

  • Troglodeity

    " … almost as if it were the statement of a scientific fact that had already been determined, as if his being president had been already pre-arranged …"

    "Almost"? Why pull your punches, Corsi?

  • barto

    There's just way too many incredible elements in that story for it not to be true! My mailman has nowhere near the total recall of this guy – sometimes he even delivers the mail like two houses down – haha, silly man! He has a strange, sweet, smokey smell also, just like this guy, I'll bet.

  • He's the Sheriff in Maricopa County, Arizona who chases Mexican housekeepers and landscapers over immigration status but can't investigate the reported sexual abuse of over 200 children in his jurisdiction. Instead he out playing "birther searcher" because a Black man who is the President.

    This really should be in every "liberal media" story about this cretin.

  • SabreDancinBear

    I call this story "Prospective Monologue to a Postman"…

  • GregComlish

    This story is too complicated. How can we distill it down into something I incoherent that I can slather on my rusty Winnebago?

  • ttommyunger

    "investigative journalist Jerome Corsi…" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

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