FIVE AND A HALF YEARS ALAN  4:00 pm March 19, 2012

John McCain: I Was Against the War on Women After I Was For It

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

... shall never touch mineHooray, you guys, “Country First” John McCain can now go back to being America’s Sweetheart Divorced Husband! Having just a few weeks ago voted for the Blunt Amendment — that stupid thing that Mitch McConnell got a boner for, about letting all private employers determine just how slutty their workers were allowed to be in their off-hours — Senor Straight-Talk is now really wishing the GOP would just “get off it.”

[W]hen host David Gregory asked McCain whether there is a “war on women” among Republicans, McCain said that Republicans needed to “get off” the issue of birth control and “respect the right of women to make choices.”

[...]

“I think we have to fix that,” he said. “There’s a perception out there because of the way that this whole contraception issue played out … We need to get off of that issue. In my view, I think we ought to respect the right of women to make choices in their lives and make that clear and to get back onto what the American people really care about — jobs and the economy.”

Want to lay a friendly $10 thousand wager that McCain’s beloved “cunt trollop” Cindy Lou Who McCain has gotten all Lysistrata up in it? Or did Wonkette bff and supercool fun-time slut Megs McCabe use her Veruca Saltian powers of “Daddy I Want A” for good instead of e-vil? [HuffPo]

 
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{ 96 comments }

nounverb911 March 19, 2012 at 4:02 pm

McCain's still around? I thought he crashed and burned in November 2008.

kissawookiee March 19, 2012 at 4:32 pm

McCain's still around? I thought he crashed and burned in ___________.

The guys on the flight deck practically had that embroidered on their jumpsuits.

vodkamuppet March 19, 2012 at 4:39 pm

+9000 million

Serolf_Divad March 19, 2012 at 6:07 pm

He's a POW in nobama's Amerikkka!

hagajim March 19, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Both he and the Snowbilly are still around to make us miserable, go figure.

FROTHY March 19, 2012 at 11:40 pm

AGAIN?

Come here a minute March 19, 2012 at 4:02 pm

You can't fight the seether.

BigSkullF*ckingDog March 19, 2012 at 4:54 pm

"I try to rock her in my cradle.
I try to knock her out.
I try to cram her back in my mouth, yeah."

Callyson March 19, 2012 at 4:03 pm

McCain said that Republicans needed to “get off”
That might help, for starters…

nounverb911 March 19, 2012 at 4:05 pm

They can always do it Lindsey style.

SorosBot March 19, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Why do you think they made sure all insurance policies had to cover boner pills, even if it violated the moral and religious beliefs of the employer?

(I mean I for one think they're very immoral; old men having sex is disgusting and wrong).

Barb March 19, 2012 at 4:03 pm

"Finish the danged fence" (around the menstrual huts)

mormos March 19, 2012 at 4:04 pm

do as i say, not as i do

OR

well yeah i voted for it but i don't believe in it!

Baconzgood March 19, 2012 at 4:05 pm

"We need to get off of that issue"

Translation:

Oooops. I forgot women are allowed to vote.

Loaded_Pants March 19, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Well, when you're 120-yrs-old, it's easy to forget that women got the right to vote.

PuckStopsHere March 19, 2012 at 4:07 pm

If we "respect the right of women to make choices in their lives," what is to prevent them from making slutty ones?

Pop_Socket March 19, 2012 at 4:07 pm

It's as if a Doritos executive came out against the obesity epidemic. Does he have no clue he is part of the problem by having unleashed Caribou Barbie on the world?

SexySmurf March 19, 2012 at 4:08 pm

McCain is just upset that the "war on women" doesn't involve bombing any actual women.

Or Iran.

Come here a minute March 19, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Bomb, bomb, bomb
Bomb Barbara Ann.

EDIT: Whoopsies, Abernathy! (See below.)

DaRooster March 19, 2012 at 4:09 pm

OK John… you got my vote.

Abernathy March 19, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Ann (and all the other ladies, too)!

sati_demise March 19, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Oh McNasty, pander master got to pander.

dadanarchist March 19, 2012 at 4:11 pm

My vote: the Ice Queen must have focused her freeze-ray vision on his "walnuts" until he changed his mind.

MissTaken March 19, 2012 at 4:11 pm

I'm sure it just took a stern lecture from his resident pharmaceutical expert, Cindy, to set the maverick straight. Oh, and her refusal to give him any of her beer heiress lovin' certainly helped, too.

SorosBot March 19, 2012 at 5:08 pm

OK, the thought of those two having sex has killed my boner here.

FROTHY March 19, 2012 at 11:56 pm

Don't worry, hon, MissTaken can help you with that.

DetectiveGrey March 19, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Watching McCain politick is like reading a Batman comic: His handlers are never sure if it's McCain putting on the crazy wingnut cap, or if it's the crazy wingnut putting on the McCain cap.

Barb March 19, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Has McCain called Bristol to apologize yet?

Loaded_Pants March 19, 2012 at 7:44 pm

In reality, the Palins should be calling him to apologize for tanking his campaign.
It'll never happen, of course.

Steverino247 March 19, 2012 at 4:13 pm

We have always been at war with Dysplasia.

Goonemeritus March 19, 2012 at 4:13 pm

So if they abandon the war on women (cut and run?) does this mean they just double down on hating brown people or will they name some new enemy of the state?

Texan_Bulldog March 19, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Who's left for them to hate? I guess the Asians–it might be their turn now since they've been coasting on easy street since the internment camps.

FROTHY March 20, 2012 at 12:08 am

You forgot "macaca." Also, too, there's plenty of killing of Teh Azunz going on alla time. See "dot-bashers," and recent murder of a young East Asian military member.

Major Thom March 19, 2012 at 4:42 pm

All of it, Katie.

Jus_Wonderin March 19, 2012 at 4:14 pm

She either has great eyesight or is an excellent shot.

Baconzgood March 19, 2012 at 4:16 pm

FAUX NOOSE HEAD LINE CIRCA LATE OCTOBER 2012:

The GOPers were always at war against the war on women.

Texan_Bulldog March 19, 2012 at 4:17 pm

What's old Walnuts think about his states' plan to have all women give their employers a signed note from the doctor declaring they are NOT on the pill for contraception? I suspect that lots of women in AZ are gonna come up with ovarian cysts, endometriosis and debilitating cramps.

neiltheblaze March 19, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Right. NOW he's embarrassed.

Blueb4sunrise March 19, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Mavericky I mean Maveromney.

If I recall correctly from the Punditry for Dummies book, I think this means that Rmoney loses to Frothy on the women-hate issue, but has some [?] cred on the economy.

DustBowlBlues March 19, 2012 at 4:20 pm

McCain? Let me think. Was he the old guy in that movie?

Texan_Bulldog March 19, 2012 at 4:23 pm

I see that Barry is going to be in Cushing, OK. See that the good Oklahoma citizens behave themselves, Dusty! (Or at least refrain from calling him a n***** in public.)

DustBowlBlues March 19, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Funny thing: I'm on his list for emails but it hasn't been mentioned. Hardly noticed. He's just picking up money in OKC on Tuesday night, doing his appearance in Cushing and that's it. No fanfare about public appearances, leading me to believe that Cushing isn't going to be a public event, or open to a few pre-selected people, probably on the off-chance rednecks would outnumber us by 5 to 1. That's why Okrahoma can never have anything nice.

Negropolis March 20, 2012 at 1:46 am

To be honest, I'm glad he's not advertising it. I get ansy whenever he gets anywhere near Dallas, and OK is a bit too close, if you know what I mean.

Not_So_Much March 19, 2012 at 4:23 pm

I was going to ask if he checked for Lou Sara's opinion on this. But she's (technically) a woman, so that really doesn't matter.

WiscDad March 19, 2012 at 4:25 pm

It's my understanding (from some that know him), McCain is more like "Cunt First". He never has and never will respect women.

Biff March 19, 2012 at 5:12 pm

If he doesn't respect them or even like them, he should at least be very afraid of them.

glamourdammerung March 19, 2012 at 6:19 pm

I did not think we were allowed to talk about McCain's disgusting behavior with his first wife because…uhm…Michelle said "whitey" on that tape that is coming out any…day…now.

bikerlaureate March 19, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Is his apology for his Blunt amendment vote forthcoming, or was it eaten by the ellipsis in the quote above?

chicken_thief March 19, 2012 at 4:28 pm

He was probably terrified that they would start asking him about Viagra again if he let them continue down that line, and embarrass the shit out of him. Again.

hollywooddood March 19, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Now that is fucking mavricky.

Designer_Rants March 19, 2012 at 9:28 pm

I think it's slutty and prostituty.

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 19, 2012 at 4:29 pm

I think the Republican's are missing their best selling point on this whole contraception thing. Where would you rather work? A place that hires sluts and pays for their slut pills? Or a place that doesn't?

Let the market decide!

Guppy March 19, 2012 at 4:30 pm

"Senor Straight-Talk"

Alt+164

vodkamuppet March 19, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I read this on Gawker (I know, ew) this morning and was floored that neither the author nor one single commenter mentioned walnuts voting for the Blunt amendment 2 weeks ago. The consensus is that McCain has regained his sanity since losing in 08. Really. They shouldn't have fired Newell over there.

Designer_Rants March 19, 2012 at 9:26 pm

I went from checking in on Gawker 5 times a day to maybe every few weeks shortly after whatsisname from DeadSpin took over. Never quit an addiction so successfully in my life. I suppose I'm not their target market, because I doubt he'll be "unsuccessful" based on whatever Denton metrics are used to measure that sorta thing.

vodkamuppet March 20, 2012 at 2:57 am

Gawker has been going to hell for years now.nothing new

hagajim March 19, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Poor old bastard crashes even when he isn't flying an airplane.

spends2much March 19, 2012 at 4:36 pm

It's nice that an old guy who used to hang around with whores and strippers respects the rights of the gals to make (some of) our own lady parts decisions. He's a 20th century coot in an increasingly 18th century party. The fact that it's the 21st century escapes them all.
John McCain: The Progressive Face of the GOP! Ha!

Beowoof March 19, 2012 at 4:38 pm

I wonder if McCain's wife told him she would go back to banging a used car salesman if didn't change his position.

Boojum_Reborn March 19, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Change position? In the 1.3 seconds between erection and ejaculation? Even Rmoney couldn't flip flop that fast.

the_onceler March 19, 2012 at 4:39 pm

John McCain was on a Sunday news program and Meet the Press at that? Wow, stop the presses!

DemmeFatale March 19, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Choice?
He used the word "choice?!"
Could it be a dog whistle for the left?
(Nah.)

anniegetyerfun March 19, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Well, at least he's consistent about changing his position to suit the changing tides of public opinion. No wonder he and Rmoney get along so well.

BornInATrailer March 19, 2012 at 4:42 pm

How many highball glasses got thrown at him before he came to this conclusion?

Biff March 19, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Beer steins.

Boojum_Reborn March 19, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Pill bottles.

Designer_Rants March 19, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Botox syringes.

LagunaB March 19, 2012 at 5:43 pm

All of them Katie.
Can you see it? It is her money, so just go for it! Throw all the glasses.

LiveToServeYa March 19, 2012 at 4:44 pm

It's OK for Walnuts to change his mind. Our side allows that. It's theirs that doesn't. However, now that he's said what he did, Youtube doesn't forget.

MarionNYNY March 19, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Wonder if he's hoping to be the voice of reason and choice of a brokered convention.

Designer_Rants March 19, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Smoke Filled Room sez: "Needz moar Walnuts!"

FROTHY March 20, 2012 at 12:13 am

No way. He got his ass beat to a pulp the last time.

GreatChristiano March 19, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Ok, but if ya give wimmuns the choice, and they make the wrong one,

the blame defaults back to the guy. Always.

BornInATrailer March 19, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Is it a coincidence that this came (heh) shortly after Ricky starts in on porn? Maybe Walnuts just wants to enjoy his golden years with his lemon party vids.

prommie March 19, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Rebecca is becoming increasingly Wonkettized. She has become wonderfully vulgar and gratuitously vicious!

MadBrahms March 19, 2012 at 5:23 pm

There is nothing gratuitous about calling out these assholes for their war on women. Bring on all the vulgarity you've got, Schoenkopf! Your country needs you!

Designer_Rants March 20, 2012 at 11:50 am

All according to plan… maha. Hahaha. HAHAHA! HAW HAW HAHAHAH! (skullfuck)

Sue4466 March 19, 2012 at 5:02 pm

There’s a perception out there because of the way that this whole contraception issue played out …

It's not a perception John. And it's not based on the way things "played out." It's a reality based on the batshit assaults being made by the GOP on women's reproductive rights and on all workers' rights to live their lives free of their employers' religious or moral beliefs.

Jukesgrrl March 19, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Republicans … victims of circumstance for more than 40 years.

Sue4466 March 19, 2012 at 9:13 pm

That should be their fucking bumpersticker!

Boojum_Reborn March 19, 2012 at 5:23 pm

So, who is the hot blonde with the duct tape on her mouth?

Not that I'm into that or anything….

MadBrahms March 19, 2012 at 5:30 pm

I don't know, but I bet her husband reads the Wall Street Journal.

(Warning: reading linked article may cause aneurysm in women, pro-feminist men, and anyone who hates terrible pop psychology)

FROTHY March 20, 2012 at 12:15 am

JAYzus! Where do they FIND these dumb bints?

rickmaci March 19, 2012 at 5:27 pm

I'm sort of thinking Johnny Boy got a wake up call when he found out the contraception issue edged right up to his home door step, so to speak.

Mr Pre-Press March 19, 2012 at 5:35 pm

He who is without Cindy may cast the first stone—his heat-seeking moisture-missile is not finding its target, obviously.

Designer_Rants March 19, 2012 at 9:17 pm

"moisture"? Doubt it. A woman who doesn't even know how many houses she owns probably doesn't get wet over ol' "Needz Moar PTSD Therapy" anymore.

BarackMyWorld March 19, 2012 at 5:36 pm

When is Obama going to call Meghan McCain and apologize for Wonkette calling her a "slut"? Where's the outrage???

He should immediately return BarackMyWorld's campaign contribution from 2008.

glamourdammerung March 19, 2012 at 6:17 pm

And once again, the "liberal" media "forgets" to point out that McCain told yet another easily refutable lie.

OneYieldRegular March 19, 2012 at 6:19 pm

How f-ed up does one have to be to vote for the f-ing Blunt amendment at the same time one's own daughter is out proudly giving interviews about how fabulous it is to be sexually-liberated?

Redhead March 19, 2012 at 6:35 pm

I was saying in 2008 that I honestly though McCain was starting to go senile. This sounds about right.

James Michael Curley March 19, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Every time he appears on a Sunday 'news' show he starts the interview off with that "You guys thought I would be dead by now." smirk.

Boojum_Reborn March 19, 2012 at 7:14 pm

I may have said it before, but the Cindy/Meghan mother daughter thing is not an offer I would refuse. That's one at a time or both together.

Ladies, you (or the NSA) have my number. Call me.

Designer_Rants March 19, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Uh, Rebecca, I almost feel like you're dangerously close to breaking the decency rules with that last paragraph… but I like it.

horsedreamer_1 March 19, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Megz can be my Volcano Girl anytime, anyplace.

Negropolis March 20, 2012 at 1:21 am

Or did Wonkette bff and supercool fun-time slut Megs McCabe use her Veruca Saltian powers of “Daddy I Want A” for good instead of e-vil?

**golf clap**

Veruca Saltian? Fuckin' genuis.

ttommyunger March 20, 2012 at 8:38 am

John who?

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