five and a half years alan

John McCain: I Was Against the War on Women After I Was For It

... shall never touch mineHooray, you guys, “Country First” John McCain can now go back to being America’s Sweetheart Divorced Husband! Having just a few weeks ago voted for the Blunt Amendment — that stupid thing that Mitch McConnell got a boner for, about letting all private employers determine just how slutty their workers were allowed to be in their off-hours — Senor Straight-Talk is now really wishing the GOP would just “get off it.”

[W]hen host David Gregory asked McCain whether there is a “war on women” among Republicans, McCain said that Republicans needed to “get off” the issue of birth control and “respect the right of women to make choices.”


“I think we have to fix that,” he said. “There’s a perception out there because of the way that this whole contraception issue played out … We need to get off of that issue. In my view, I think we ought to respect the right of women to make choices in their lives and make that clear and to get back onto what the American people really care about — jobs and the economy.”

Want to lay a friendly $10 thousand wager that McCain’s beloved “cunt trollop” Cindy Lou Who McCain has gotten all Lysistrata up in it? Or did Wonkette bff and supercool fun-time slut Megs McCabe use her Veruca Saltian powers of “Daddy I Want A” for good instead of e-vil? [HuffPo]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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    1. kissawookiee

      McCain's still around? I thought he crashed and burned in ___________.

      The guys on the flight deck practically had that embroidered on their jumpsuits.

    1. BigSkullF*ckingDog

      "I try to rock her in my cradle.
      I try to knock her out.
      I try to cram her back in my mouth, yeah."

    1. SorosBot

      Why do you think they made sure all insurance policies had to cover boner pills, even if it violated the moral and religious beliefs of the employer?

      (I mean I for one think they're very immoral; old men having sex is disgusting and wrong).

  1. Baconzgood

    "We need to get off of that issue"


    Oooops. I forgot women are allowed to vote.

  2. PuckStopsHere

    If we "respect the right of women to make choices in their lives," what is to prevent them from making slutty ones?

  3. Pop_Socket

    It's as if a Doritos executive came out against the obesity epidemic. Does he have no clue he is part of the problem by having unleashed Caribou Barbie on the world?

  4. SexySmurf

    McCain is just upset that the "war on women" doesn't involve bombing any actual women.

    Or Iran.

  5. dadanarchist

    My vote: the Ice Queen must have focused her freeze-ray vision on his "walnuts" until he changed his mind.

  6. MissTaken

    I'm sure it just took a stern lecture from his resident pharmaceutical expert, Cindy, to set the maverick straight. Oh, and her refusal to give him any of her beer heiress lovin' certainly helped, too.

  7. DetectiveGrey

    Watching McCain politick is like reading a Batman comic: His handlers are never sure if it's McCain putting on the crazy wingnut cap, or if it's the crazy wingnut putting on the McCain cap.

    1. Loaded_Pants

      In reality, the Palins should be calling him to apologize for tanking his campaign.
      It'll never happen, of course.

  8. Goonemeritus

    So if they abandon the war on women (cut and run?) does this mean they just double down on hating brown people or will they name some new enemy of the state?

    1. Texan_Bulldog

      Who's left for them to hate? I guess the Asians–it might be their turn now since they've been coasting on easy street since the internment camps.

      1. FROTHY

        You forgot "macaca." Also, too, there's plenty of killing of Teh Azunz going on alla time. See "dot-bashers," and recent murder of a young East Asian military member.

  9. Baconzgood


    The GOPers were always at war against the war on women.

  10. Texan_Bulldog

    What's old Walnuts think about his states' plan to have all women give their employers a signed note from the doctor declaring they are NOT on the pill for contraception? I suspect that lots of women in AZ are gonna come up with ovarian cysts, endometriosis and debilitating cramps.

  11. Blueb4sunrise

    Mavericky I mean Maveromney.

    If I recall correctly from the Punditry for Dummies book, I think this means that Rmoney loses to Frothy on the women-hate issue, but has some [?] cred on the economy.

    1. Texan_Bulldog

      I see that Barry is going to be in Cushing, OK. See that the good Oklahoma citizens behave themselves, Dusty! (Or at least refrain from calling him a n***** in public.)

      1. DustBowlBlues

        Funny thing: I'm on his list for emails but it hasn't been mentioned. Hardly noticed. He's just picking up money in OKC on Tuesday night, doing his appearance in Cushing and that's it. No fanfare about public appearances, leading me to believe that Cushing isn't going to be a public event, or open to a few pre-selected people, probably on the off-chance rednecks would outnumber us by 5 to 1. That's why Okrahoma can never have anything nice.

        1. Negropolis

          To be honest, I'm glad he's not advertising it. I get ansy whenever he gets anywhere near Dallas, and OK is a bit too close, if you know what I mean.

  12. Not_So_Much

    I was going to ask if he checked for Lou Sara's opinion on this. But she's (technically) a woman, so that really doesn't matter.

  13. WiscDad

    It's my understanding (from some that know him), McCain is more like "Cunt First". He never has and never will respect women.

    1. glamourdammerung

      I did not think we were allowed to talk about McCain's disgusting behavior with his first wife because…uhm…Michelle said "whitey" on that tape that is coming out any…day…now.

  14. bikerlaureate

    Is his apology for his Blunt amendment vote forthcoming, or was it eaten by the ellipsis in the quote above?

  15. chicken_thief

    He was probably terrified that they would start asking him about Viagra again if he let them continue down that line, and embarrass the shit out of him. Again.

  16. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I think the Republican's are missing their best selling point on this whole contraception thing. Where would you rather work? A place that hires sluts and pays for their slut pills? Or a place that doesn't?

    Let the market decide!

  17. vodkamuppet

    I read this on Gawker (I know, ew) this morning and was floored that neither the author nor one single commenter mentioned walnuts voting for the Blunt amendment 2 weeks ago. The consensus is that McCain has regained his sanity since losing in 08. Really. They shouldn't have fired Newell over there.

    1. Designer_Rants

      I went from checking in on Gawker 5 times a day to maybe every few weeks shortly after whatsisname from DeadSpin took over. Never quit an addiction so successfully in my life. I suppose I'm not their target market, because I doubt he'll be "unsuccessful" based on whatever Denton metrics are used to measure that sorta thing.

  18. spends2much

    It's nice that an old guy who used to hang around with whores and strippers respects the rights of the gals to make (some of) our own lady parts decisions. He's a 20th century coot in an increasingly 18th century party. The fact that it's the 21st century escapes them all.
    John McCain: The Progressive Face of the GOP! Ha!

  19. Beowoof

    I wonder if McCain's wife told him she would go back to banging a used car salesman if didn't change his position.

    1. Boojum_Reborn

      Change position? In the 1.3 seconds between erection and ejaculation? Even Rmoney couldn't flip flop that fast.

  20. the_onceler

    John McCain was on a Sunday news program and Meet the Press at that? Wow, stop the presses!

  21. anniegetyerfun

    Well, at least he's consistent about changing his position to suit the changing tides of public opinion. No wonder he and Rmoney get along so well.

    1. LagunaB

      All of them Katie.
      Can you see it? It is her money, so just go for it! Throw all the glasses.

  22. LiveToServeYa

    It's OK for Walnuts to change his mind. Our side allows that. It's theirs that doesn't. However, now that he's said what he did, Youtube doesn't forget.

  23. GreatChristiano

    Ok, but if ya give wimmuns the choice, and they make the wrong one,

    the blame defaults back to the guy. Always.

  24. BornInATrailer

    Is it a coincidence that this came (heh) shortly after Ricky starts in on porn? Maybe Walnuts just wants to enjoy his golden years with his lemon party vids.

  25. prommie

    Rebecca is becoming increasingly Wonkettized. She has become wonderfully vulgar and gratuitously vicious!

    1. MadBrahms

      There is nothing gratuitous about calling out these assholes for their war on women. Bring on all the vulgarity you've got, Schoenkopf! Your country needs you!

  26. Sue4466

    There’s a perception out there because of the way that this whole contraception issue played out …

    It's not a perception John. And it's not based on the way things "played out." It's a reality based on the batshit assaults being made by the GOP on women's reproductive rights and on all workers' rights to live their lives free of their employers' religious or moral beliefs.

  27. Boojum_Reborn

    So, who is the hot blonde with the duct tape on her mouth?

    Not that I'm into that or anything….

    1. MadBrahms

      I don't know, but I bet her husband reads the Wall Street Journal.

      (Warning: reading linked article may cause aneurysm in women, pro-feminist men, and anyone who hates terrible pop psychology)

  28. rickmaci

    I'm sort of thinking Johnny Boy got a wake up call when he found out the contraception issue edged right up to his home door step, so to speak.

  29. Mr Pre-Press

    He who is without Cindy may cast the first stone—his heat-seeking moisture-missile is not finding its target, obviously.

  30. BarackMyWorld

    When is Obama going to call Meghan McCain and apologize for Wonkette calling her a "slut"? Where's the outrage???

    He should immediately return BarackMyWorld's campaign contribution from 2008.

  31. OneYieldRegular

    How f-ed up does one have to be to vote for the f-ing Blunt amendment at the same time one's own daughter is out proudly giving interviews about how fabulous it is to be sexually-liberated?

  32. Redhead

    I was saying in 2008 that I honestly though McCain was starting to go senile. This sounds about right.

    1. James Michael Curley

      Every time he appears on a Sunday 'news' show he starts the interview off with that "You guys thought I would be dead by now." smirk.

  33. Boojum_Reborn

    I may have said it before, but the Cindy/Meghan mother daughter thing is not an offer I would refuse. That's one at a time or both together.

    Ladies, you (or the NSA) have my number. Call me.

  34. Negropolis

    Or did Wonkette bff and supercool fun-time slut Megs McCabe use her Veruca Saltian powers of “Daddy I Want A” for good instead of e-vil?

    **golf clap**

    Veruca Saltian? Fuckin' genuis.

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