BUT NOT FOR THEE  3:15 pm March 19, 2012

Santorum Accepts Blessing After Pastor Tells All Buddhists, Muslims to Git Outta US

by Rebecca Schoenkopf


It’s a good thing Rick Santorum is so very concerned with our First Amendment right to freedom of religion. He says so every day! Which is why it might come as a surprise to some (it will not come as a surprise to anyone) that maybe Rick Santorum only believes in First Amendment rights for Christians and not any of those godless Buddhists, Mooslims, Mohommedans, or Other? The heathen infidel lesbian witches at RightWingWatch bring you this not at all terrifying video of some heehaw preacher screamin’ and a-shriekin’ at all us to git out his cuntry before laying his hands on the smiling, smegma-slicked puss of Mr. Senator Rick Santorum.

Here is the touching benediction.

[RightWingWatch]

 
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{ 217 comments }

Madfall March 19, 2012 at 3:18 pm

I can haz Christian forgiveness? Nooo, you be stealin my Christian forgiveness!

Maman March 19, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Apparently Christian forgiveness is only for other Christians. The rest of you can fuck off.

AbandonHope March 19, 2012 at 3:37 pm

More "compassionate conservative" churches should have this etched into their entry archways. It's like that saying about abandoning, uh, something or other when you enter. It's on the tip of my tongue.

Angry_Marmot March 19, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Ceiling Cat is watching you humiliate yourselves.

BornInATrailer March 19, 2012 at 3:18 pm

But atheists are OK, right?

Madfall March 19, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Those scornful bastards will be the first against the wall.

JustPixelz March 19, 2012 at 4:51 pm

I assume you're talking about the wall of separate between church and state. The one with surveyor's marks on it, right?

comrad_darkness March 19, 2012 at 11:03 pm

I don't think he realizes they exist, honestly. Which is a relief.

FROTHY March 20, 2012 at 12:57 am

They already bin killing 'em out in TexASS.

Callyson March 19, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Jesus fucking Christ…

Baconzgood March 19, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Jesus just face palmed.

Dashboard_Jesus March 20, 2012 at 2:37 am

hey now, watch yo mouth!

anniegetyerfun March 19, 2012 at 3:21 pm

What about teh Juice?

nounverb911 March 19, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Orange or grapefruit?

LesBontemps March 19, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Tomato!

flamingpdog March 19, 2012 at 3:38 pm

I coulda had a V-hate!

FROTHY March 20, 2012 at 1:25 am

Where V=Vagina, of course.

Doktor StrangeZoom March 19, 2012 at 10:09 pm

"It is interesting at great political rallies how you have a Protestant to pray and a Catholic to pray, and then you have a Jew to pray. With all due respect to those dear people, my friend, God Almighty does not hear the prayer of a Jew. For how in the world can God hear the prayer of a man who says that Jesus Christ is not the true Messiah? It is blasphemy."–Bailey Smith, president, Southern Baptist Convention, Aug. 22, 1980.

Callyson March 19, 2012 at 3:21 pm

"If you don't love America, you don't like the way we do things, I got one thing to say: GET OUT!"
Yes, preacher, please do GTFO…

bikerlaureate March 19, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Love means never having to say you're a sorry, misinformed sack o' paranoia.

Chillatte March 19, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Does that mean we get to keep the gays?

nounverb911 March 19, 2012 at 3:22 pm

God called, he wants his son back.

Loaded_Pants March 19, 2012 at 7:15 pm

"I got nailed on a piece of wood for this stupid shit?"
–Jesus Sonofgod.

Fare la Volpe March 19, 2012 at 3:22 pm

The "One God" of your religion is named Yahweh, you little cretin.

weej_bain March 19, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Yahweh or the highway?

Biff March 19, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Yahway, not Blahway!

Baconzgood March 19, 2012 at 3:44 pm

We don't need Yahweh-ing in on this Fare.

arihaya March 20, 2012 at 7:02 am

I thought it is Jehovah … wait, don't stone me !

Mahousu March 19, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Slight correction:

"You're either for me, or you're not a Nazi."
– Rick Santorum

donner_froh March 19, 2012 at 3:24 pm

There is only one second baseman for the San Diego Padres and his name is JESUS (Guzman).

Pithaughn March 19, 2012 at 6:14 pm

At least once a week I buy lunch from Jesus. He has lovely brown lashes.

Fare la Volpe March 19, 2012 at 3:24 pm

"We don't worship Buddha."

Neither do Buddhists, dumbass.

Mahousu March 19, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Never trust a man with two first names.

nounverb911 March 19, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Chris Christie?

chicken_thief March 19, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Trust Christie? – fat chance.

Baconzgood March 19, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Hey wait….Oh that's right no one does trust me. And for excellent reasons.

Jukesgrrl March 19, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Rick Perry, Rick Scott, Scott Walker, Walker Texas Ranger …

vodkamuppet March 19, 2012 at 3:26 pm

They hate Buddhists now too? Fucking Buddhists?!

anniegetyerfun March 19, 2012 at 3:29 pm

With all their self-awareness and shit? Fuck yeah! USA! USA! USA!

starfanglednut March 19, 2012 at 4:20 pm

And compassion, acceptance and lack of materialism. We can't have that!

Loaded_Pants March 19, 2012 at 7:23 pm

And here I was thinkin' the biggest threat to America was all that turban-wearin' Sharia Muslim stuff.

valthemus March 19, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Seriously! I mean, c'mon!! Who hates Buddhists?!?

BornInATrailer March 19, 2012 at 3:39 pm

These are the same people that hate Sikhs. And they hate them only because they think that is what an Arab should look like.

"…these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons."

chicken_thief March 19, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Me, but only the ones at the San Francisco Airport.

doloras March 19, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Sri Lankan Tamils (Hindus and Catholics, mainly) being oppressed by the mainly Buddhist Sinhalese majority. Or those people who remember that the major Zen orders in Japan were totally alongside their WW2 military dictatorship. Or the Tibetan serfs under the old lamaist theocracy.

Westerners seem to have this idea that Buddhism is some kind of cuddly "not-really-a-religion", whereas just like every other religion, it can be used for good and assholish purposes.

vodkamuppet March 19, 2012 at 4:09 pm

All good examlpes but do you think Dennis Terry is actually aware of any of that? I knew there had to be some group of people somewhere but I doubt Pastor Denny is taking a principled stand on they're behalf.

redarmyzombie March 20, 2012 at 2:06 am

Don't forget people murdered/enslaved by the junta in Burma/Myanmar/whatever the fuck they call it these days.

horsedreamer_1 March 19, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Maya Arulpragasam?

FROTHY March 20, 2012 at 1:29 am

Easy for YOU to say.

Negropolis March 20, 2012 at 2:30 am

MIA libel!

dadanarchist March 19, 2012 at 3:36 pm

In Dennis Terry's defense, Richard Gere is a Buddhist.

vodkamuppet March 19, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Ah, there you have it.

Dashboard_Jesus March 20, 2012 at 2:43 am

hey, me and the Buddha are just brothas from anotha mutha http://www.beliefnet.com/Faiths/Buddhism/2000/02/

Baconzgood March 19, 2012 at 3:26 pm

(wait for it…….)

I find this difficult to masterbate to.

RadioStalingrad March 19, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Do these ass muskets still believe in the trinity? Or is it a two for one deal now?Holy Ghost, batman.

AbandonHope March 19, 2012 at 3:49 pm

It's a Buy Two Deities, Get One Free sale. A clever little marketing move designed to undercut the profits of other monotheistic religions and eventually corner the market and establish a monopoly.

Boojum_Reborn March 19, 2012 at 6:43 pm

It sounds like he is establishing a monopolytheism.

pdiddycornchips March 19, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Men like the preacher before us exist to separate morons from their money. God and theology are props they use and discard at will. Fast talking preachers are as old as civilization itself. They survive because there's never a shortage of fools who send them money. What IS different is those fools used to be easily recognized and easily dismissed. Now, they make up the bulk of Republican primary voters. This country is facing a moral dilemma, how to reverse decades of conservative sanctioned ignorance and stupidity.

StarsUponThars March 19, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Poor Jeebus. Every day he's gotta listen to the shit that's said in His name.

mormos March 19, 2012 at 4:00 pm

jesus libel!

HarryButtle March 19, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Yea, well, if He doesn't like it, He could always DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT*. How's about some of that fire & brimstone and turnin' people into salt? Turn Rick Santorum inside out on live television, and I'll bet the rest would wise up pretty effing quick.

* If He was real, of course.

rickmaci March 19, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Of course.

Boojum_Reborn March 19, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Yeah, well, have YOU ever turned a bag of shit inside out? Srsly, that's some kind of nasty.

memzilla March 19, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Hmmm… "charismatic" pseudo-leader… buncha white people with their right hands raised up in the air, saluting…. hmmm…

sullivanst March 19, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Don't forget the openly expressed desire for a nation purged of believers in disfavored religions…

Maman March 19, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Someone want to explain that not everyone practicing Judeo-Christian ethics worships Jesus Christ? This crap makes my brain hurt.

chicken_thief March 19, 2012 at 3:42 pm

And it seems that few for those who worship Jesus Christ practice Judeo-Christian ethics.

SorosBot March 19, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Or ethics at all, really.

Jukesgrrl March 19, 2012 at 4:56 pm

They think they adopted the Jews to help them out with their rapture. No one seems to have clued them in that more Jews are Democrats than Republicans … let alone this kind.

FROTHY March 20, 2012 at 1:36 am

Nobody ever accused the Jooz of being stupid. Which they'd have to be to join a party that depends on them all being killed or converted.

rickmaci March 20, 2012 at 7:33 pm

"…that depends on them all being killed or converted."

Converted under the threat of death if they don't.

weej_bain March 19, 2012 at 3:27 pm

What about us agnosticators? Can we keep on burning question marks here and there?

Boojum_Reborn March 19, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Is an agnosticator someone who doesn't know if he's fucking?

Dashboard_Jesus March 20, 2012 at 2:45 am

reminds me of a favorite old joke…whaddya call a dyslexic agnostic insomniac? (wait for it) someone who lies awake at night wondering if there really IS a dog!

SorosBot March 19, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I am shocked – shocked! – that a man who uses his religion to justify his bigotry against women and gay people would also be a bigot against non-Christians. Shocked I tell you.

OneYieldRegular March 19, 2012 at 3:54 pm

That this is even a story is only because the guy's batteries haven't run down yet.

Tommy1733 March 19, 2012 at 5:23 pm

You need a lie-down and a cold cloth for your forehead.

donner_froh March 19, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Muslims don't worship Mohammed; Buddhists don't worship Buddha. Must be lots more howlers but that's as far as I could watch this asshat.

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 19, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I cannot wait for this to be the centerpiece of Sean Hannity's "Vetting Santorum."

Although it might not be fair and balanced, as I'm pretty sure that FOX News current slogan is "Venting Santorum."

Oblios_Cap March 19, 2012 at 3:28 pm

The Religion of Peace, my ass!

AbandonHope March 19, 2012 at 3:45 pm

You know, my daughter goes to a preschool run by a Methodist church. When we've been there for various open houses and shows and whatnot, I've seen a ton of posters up talking about respecting all races, all religions, all socioeconomic strata… and it always gives me the startling realization that these hateful, bigoted, loud-mouthed harpies do NOT speak for all Christians. It's one of those things that I always know, logically, in the back of my mind, but it's easy to forget unless you see evidence to the contrary.

I'm still very secular, still reeling from eight years of Catholic school education, but I'm always so glad to see some actual liberal, progressive, caring Christians out there somewhere. Gives me a ray of hope that is often so fleeting.

SorosBot March 19, 2012 at 3:28 pm

"There's one god, and his name is Jesus!" Someone has forgotten to give the father and the holy ghost their due.

doloras March 19, 2012 at 3:51 pm

The Christian God has three names. The Muslim God with his 99 names has them beat.

Boojum_Reborn March 19, 2012 at 6:49 pm

So, Arthur C. Clarke is the Supreme Potentate?

SexySmurf March 19, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Buddha Christ, that congregation looks like the Grim Reaper's waiting room. During the standing ovations, I wonder how many people stood up too fast and broke a hip.

WIDTAP March 19, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Excuse me, that is Buddha Funking Christ on a Pogo Stick. Full title or GTFO.

Boojum_Reborn March 19, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Not enough?

SoBeach March 19, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Preachers like that are flat-out hilarious. You just know they're laying it on thick, trying to get the camera people and stage crew to laugh. Sort of like the way actors will occasionally get goofy with each other towards the end of a long running stage play.

AbandonHope March 19, 2012 at 3:39 pm

For the sake of this nation's future, I desperately want to believe that… but I think this guy believes what he's saying as much as Santorum does.

SoBeach March 19, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Remember this: For every sex and drug scandal you read about involving a bible-thumping preacher, there are hundreds if not thousands involving holy-rollers not famous enough to merit news coverage.

It's show business, and behind the scenes they party like rock stars.

anniegetyerfun March 19, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Is this what Santorum is concerned about when he talks about religious people not being allowed to participate in the public sector in a meaningful way?

Haha, just kidding. I know it's not.

LesBontemps March 19, 2012 at 3:31 pm

The god of Abraham, the god of Issaac and the god of Jacob — there is only one god, there is only one god, and his name is Jesus.

I could be wrong, but I am pretty sure that Jesus was not the god of Abraham, Isaac and/or Jacob.

An_Outhouse March 19, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Fuck you, blasphemer.

hagajim March 19, 2012 at 3:42 pm

I believe that is correct, for a winner of the Daily Double.

Biff March 19, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Jesus is a time traveler!

redarmyzombie March 20, 2012 at 2:09 am

Keep an eye out for the Blue Box!

doloras March 19, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Ask any Muslim, the god of Abraham was Allah.

GOPCrusher March 19, 2012 at 5:21 pm

I'm surprised that he stopped there and didn't come right out and say that the worshippers of the God Of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob killed Jesus.

snoopyfan2010 March 19, 2012 at 10:14 pm

You might be referring to the trinity, no?

flamingpdog March 19, 2012 at 3:32 pm

But, how does this affect Bristol Palin??

Maman March 19, 2012 at 3:40 pm

No on apologized to her.

OkieDokieDog March 19, 2012 at 3:32 pm

hahaha! Silly Xtians. They don't know that they're going to be converted to Mormons after they die.

AbandonHope March 19, 2012 at 3:47 pm

And then converted into GAY Mormons, thanks to the wonder of the Internet.

OkieDokieDog March 19, 2012 at 4:35 pm

That's my new interwebz hobby, converting the Mormons into the Ghays.

NYNYNYjr March 19, 2012 at 11:29 pm

Also, I'm going to dig them up and put them into new graves, with headstones that say "John Jones- Gay Mormon- Married to Bill Smith Beloved Husband and Devoted Top"

kingofmeh March 19, 2012 at 3:34 pm

fox news commentary favorably comparing santorum's being blessed by this guy immediately after xenophobic commentary to reverend wright saying controversial things whilst president obama may or may not have been present/hugging a left-wing law professor in 3. . . 2. . . 1 . . .

Jus_Wonderin March 19, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Most of these guys only know Profit.

Baconzgood March 19, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I love how these holy rollers never say Jesus. As if "JEEZ-US!!!" is better than just plain Jesus. I guess Jesus is like a 3 Musketeers and "JEEZ-US!!!" is like a Snickers.

kissawookiee March 19, 2012 at 3:38 pm

No, Jesus is a Pulparindo.

PuckStopsHere March 19, 2012 at 3:36 pm

"As long as sexual perversion is becoming normalized…"

This is good news for sexual perversion.

Angry_Marmot March 19, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Now that I could masturbate to.

comrad_darkness March 19, 2012 at 11:09 pm

When did we normalize perversion of common sense and logic. That's what I want to know.

flamingpdog March 19, 2012 at 3:36 pm

I always love how these Holy Roller clowns rant and rant about how horrible things are in the US, but they always end up thanking the Lawd for "this great nation". Somebody needs to take a look at the script sometime.

GeorgiaBurning March 19, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Its always been a great place for grifters like him. In most other countries his sort is reduced to living in shacks and begging for small change; which locals fork over just to make them leave.

Pithaughn March 19, 2012 at 6:13 pm

And then they'll say something like the parents whose son just died from bacterial meningitis are so very blessed and lucky because they had the gift of having their son and he'll always be alive with Jesus and in their hearts. No further snark needed, it's built in IMHO.

redarmyzombie March 20, 2012 at 2:13 am

Silly pdog, EVERYONE know conservatives have a memory span only SLIGHTLY longer than a gnat's!

MissTaken March 19, 2012 at 3:37 pm

How long until this Pastor gets found snorting meth off his male hooker's penis?

SorosBot March 19, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Or Santorum's?

Baconzgood March 19, 2012 at 4:01 pm

How long does the photo lab take to get back the prints?

starfanglednut March 19, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Tingly!

MarionNYNY March 19, 2012 at 3:37 pm

It's nice that the preacher isn't telling God what to do.
I'm sure Santorum would have corrected the preacher on the Christian nation stuff, but the preacher is an old with a cane, and Santorum doesn't believe in correcting the olds, no matter what batshit crazy suff they're shouting.

slowhansolo March 19, 2012 at 3:37 pm

"God damn Rick Santorum!"

GOPCrusher March 19, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Rick Santorum is The Pusher Man?

WhatTheHeck March 19, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Sorry Rick, you Catholics are going to be “left behind“ along with the rest of us, cause the Rapture™ is a Christian fundamentalist sort of thing. You are going to be lumped together with the rest of us. So get used to us untouchables now.

DerrickWildcat March 19, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Jesus hates a lot of stuff.

Baconzgood March 19, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Jesus was ALL about the Hatin'.

bikerlaureate March 19, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Except at Hate-Ashbury. He was mellow there.

sharethegrief March 19, 2012 at 3:37 pm

If we could just capture the energy of Xtian persecution, we could tell the Saudis to fuck off.

valthemus March 19, 2012 at 3:38 pm

For a round-up of some of Dennis Terry's more whimsical hate-mongering…
http://www.goodasyou.org

Baconzgood March 19, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Bleck! That's like drinking a bottle of syrup of ipecac.

AbandonHope March 19, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Look out, Westboro Baptist Church, you have some sizzling competition here!

Jukesgrrl March 19, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Thanks, but no thanks. I have work to do — I can't go to bed with a headache again today.

SorosBot March 19, 2012 at 3:38 pm

He also says "We don't worship Allah!" Um, yes you do; it's the same god, that Jews, Christians and Muslims all worship.

Maman March 19, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Just with another name… Just like the Judeos have for God.

SoBeach March 19, 2012 at 3:49 pm

The whacky fundies don't believe God and Allah are the same. Not at all. To them Allah is a "moon god". And that's about as deep as I care to get into their fuckedupedness.

AbandonHope March 19, 2012 at 3:53 pm

I was about to insert a Sailor Moon joke here, but that would push my geek meter way past 11.

Toomush_Infer March 19, 2012 at 4:02 pm

No Sailor Moon joke reaches 11…. I was thinking more about what the Bondage Fairies might like to do to him…

Angry_Marmot March 19, 2012 at 6:20 pm

I'll be in my bunk.

doloras March 19, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Does that mean Moonbase Newt is a sekrit Muslim?!?

SorosBot March 19, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Too bad for them they're wrong. The big difference is just that the Muslims view Jesus as just a prophet, not an incarnation of god – but it's the same Yahweh / god the father of the Bible.

Redhead March 19, 2012 at 6:41 pm

The Torah and the old testament are basically the same thing, right?

MosesInvests March 19, 2012 at 7:20 pm

The Torah is the first five books of what Christians call the "Old Testament"-we Joos just call it the Bible.

arihaya March 19, 2012 at 4:23 pm

let's hope there are no Maronite Christians anywhere near this douche bag, or he will get a nice rim shot

Sassomatic March 19, 2012 at 9:40 pm

That is the kind of plain, simple fact that people like this are unable to comprehend. In fact, a lot of these theocratic state Christians actually have no idea that Islam is a monotheistic religion. Most of them, actually, cannot find their asses in the dark with both hands.

hagajim March 19, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Shouldn't the headline on the YouTube say "Asshole Introduces Santorum – Front Row Sprayed With Stank"?

prommie March 19, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Its ironic that this man would bless a smegma-smeared Santorum, because smegma and santorum is just about the unholiest combination in the universe.

Baconzgood March 19, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Show us on the doll where Dennis Terry touched you Rick.

Biff March 19, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Wonder if he'll get the GCB endorsement, also?

chicken_thief March 19, 2012 at 3:46 pm

This is bad news for Mitt Romney.

Texan_Bulldog March 19, 2012 at 3:46 pm

This type of dude is why I'm agnostic. I grew up being yelled at by a Southern Baptist preacher who, I shit you not, would come into the Sunday school class and bitch because we (who were only 8 or 9) were only giving $1 in the offering.

Jukesgrrl March 19, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Did he want you to steal the money from the Miracle Children's Network jar on the 7-Eleven counter?

comrad_darkness March 19, 2012 at 11:09 pm

At least his message was crystal clear. It's all about the $$.

doloras March 19, 2012 at 3:47 pm

To be fair, the distinguishing mark of Christianity is the insistence that their prophet is God; of course they're going to project that hubris onto everyone else.

Fare la Volpe March 19, 2012 at 4:14 pm

You got your savior in my deity! You got your deity in my savior!

Two great tastes that taste like shit for everyone else.

Boojum_Reborn March 19, 2012 at 6:41 pm

No wonder Santorum was there.

braddkurtz March 19, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Do yourselves a favor and turn on Youtube's closed-captioning. Then go to 2:29 on the top video. You heard it here first, folks: God declares that marriage is between "a man anna wallman."

thebeatgoeson March 20, 2012 at 10:49 am

Stand up and say "Fallow. Powell. Lalo. Lalo." LOLOL, I say! There are lots of lols in that closed captioning!

AbandonHope March 19, 2012 at 3:50 pm

That's it, time to set up a Shadow Liberal State and shut these assholes out. I call Secretary of Energy. (I like power, but not too much power.)

DerrickWildcat March 19, 2012 at 3:51 pm

The current movement of Southern Baptists to, "re-brand" themselves isn't going as smoothly as expected.

MissTaken March 19, 2012 at 3:51 pm

And all of you Pagans with your egg-balancing tomorrow can git outta here, too!

skoalrebel March 19, 2012 at 3:52 pm

That's the most uplifting thing I've seen since the Kardashian family sex tape. [spit!]

BornInATrailer March 19, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Muscular Christ sez: genuflect or GTFO!

Baconzgood March 19, 2012 at 3:53 pm

WORST REMAKE OF THE APOSTLE EVAR!!!!!!

weej_bain March 19, 2012 at 3:53 pm

♪♫ That little cretin is a millionaire ♫♪

Jukesgrrl March 19, 2012 at 4:51 pm

I'll bet he's got more than one installed microwave oven, too.

flamingpdog March 19, 2012 at 7:44 pm

♪Rmoney for nothing and clicks for free.♪

bikerlaureate March 19, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Well, that was unpleasant.

WiscDad March 19, 2012 at 3:53 pm

But Obama gets shit for Jeremiah Wright…fucking hypocrites

glamourdammerung March 19, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Even more screwed up when people were trying to claim that Wright's statements about blacks historically getting a quite a bit of less than a fair shake in this country was somehow controversial.

northernbassist March 19, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Two things, just in the first 15 seconds:

1. Did this clown ever stop to think that God's will *is* being done? That the guy in the White House now is supposed to be there?

2.) "We want revival." Dennis Terry
"You cain't always git whut you want." Mick Jagger

glamourdammerung March 19, 2012 at 3:55 pm

This pretty much sums up why the Republican Party is a joke without a punchline.

CountryClubJihadi March 19, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Kanon Tipton or GTFO. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5F3XLSXw1gk&fe

Allahu Akbar.

Makinglifehell March 19, 2012 at 4:01 pm

If fucktwats like this screecher-man really loved Jeebus they should want to meet him immediately, no? But offer them the chance to be with him right now and they're all, "Nah, it's cool. I'll wait." Fucking hypocrites!

owhatever March 19, 2012 at 4:03 pm

I worship money. Can I stay?

Toomush_Infer March 19, 2012 at 4:03 pm

"Gawd, I don't want to tell yeeuw whut ta doo, BUT….."

fartknocker March 19, 2012 at 4:05 pm

While DHS is monitoring Twatter, Facebook and the Wonketter, should send a note with the lovely YouTube videos of these sermons to the IRS and ask them to look at the church's tax exempt status. Shit like this is why she be taxed as a entertainment business and treated as a PAC.

Makinglifehell March 19, 2012 at 4:06 pm

And afterward, all three men on stage tossed each others' salad. The end.

Guppy March 19, 2012 at 4:10 pm

We don't worship Mary neither, ya dirty Cafflicks!

Smitros March 19, 2012 at 4:12 pm

This (practicing if demonstrably imperfect) Christian will let his born in the U.S.A. Buddhist wife be removed from the country as soon as she is pried from his cold, dead hand.

Fare la Volpe March 19, 2012 at 4:13 pm

I think we're all forgetting that Barack Obama is the real bad guy here.

SkinnyNerd March 19, 2012 at 4:16 pm

At 1:38: As long as they continue to kill little babies in our mothers' wombs

So, uh, dropping bombs on people that may include pregnant women, not cool then? Just asking.

Makinglifehell March 19, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Those aren't bombs. They're Freedom Balloons!

johnnyzhivago March 19, 2012 at 4:18 pm

I didn't actually think Christians "worshipped" Jesus, I thought we worshiped with Jesus???

johnnyzhivago March 19, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Does this clown know that Santorum is a papist?

Jukesgrrl March 19, 2012 at 5:14 pm

They're so desperate to have a social conservative back in the White House they'd even take a Catholic. You'd think they would have given up after George "Yes I'm a Christian, I Just Don't Go to Church" Bush didn't give them everything they want. Then again, they HAD a real Christian in Jimmy Carter, but they didn't like him either. Maybe they just enjoy hating.

Allmighty_Manos March 19, 2012 at 4:34 pm

We welcome full religious diversity in the U.S. As long as you're Baptist, Southern Baptist or Methodist.

GeorgiaBurning March 19, 2012 at 5:37 pm

don't know about those Methodists, though…some are almost Lutheran

DerrickWildcat March 19, 2012 at 4:52 pm

They're not booing. They're saying, Buuuuuuuuuuuuuddhists!

SheriffRoscoe March 19, 2012 at 4:55 pm

The Christians are tired of being persecuted in America. Here's secret footage of one of their clandestine meetings.

Tommy1733 March 19, 2012 at 5:18 pm

I would pay lots of money to be able to totally kiss another guy in the middle of that satanic service. we have got to keep same-sex kissing until things change!

GOPCrusher March 19, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Is this another phase of The Obama War Against Religion that I keep hearing about?

GeorgiaBurning March 19, 2012 at 5:36 pm

It's a recruiting poster- for the Obama side.

rickmaci March 19, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Good Lord on high, did I really just hear this guy say the god of Abraham, Issac and Jacob is…JESUS?

glamourdammerung March 19, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Yeah, I noticed that too.

FraAnima March 19, 2012 at 6:08 pm

I waz just going to make that comment. Oy gevalt.

gurukalehuru March 20, 2012 at 10:13 am

Yes. Yes, you did.

swordfis March 19, 2012 at 5:57 pm

This is one of the most nauseating things I've ever seen.

glamourdammerung March 19, 2012 at 6:08 pm

This must be that "Christians are being persecuted" crap I keep being lectured about by teabaggers.

Neoyorquino March 19, 2012 at 6:12 pm

No snark. I'd love to say something clever, but I'll settle for just saying something. I promised myself I wouldn't just sit on my hands when another knuckle-dragging mouth-breathing bubba defined Christian faith to others as jingo-istic, atheist-bashing, gay-hating xenophobia. The ones that make the loudest noise gather the most attention. For lack of a clever rejoinder, let me just say, "we're not all like that." We just need to speak louder, and more frequently. http://johnshore.com/best-hits-2/

Redhead March 19, 2012 at 6:38 pm

"There's only one God! And his name is Jesus!"

Errrrm – which of you heathen-atheist-Buddhist-Muslins wants to be the one to correct this asshole on what his own bible says?

MosesInvests March 19, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Okay, I'll go. God's name as told to Moses is the Hebrew letters "Yod-Heh-Vav-Heh", usually transliterated as YHVH or YHWH. Pronunciation is uncertain-traditionally, Jews don't say His name but use the name "Adonai", "My Lord". The Tetragrammaton is an amalgamation of the Hebrew words for "Was-Is-Will Be." In other words, The Eternal.
Jesus (or JAAAAY-ZUS!) ain't it.

Redhead March 19, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Congrats! That's 60 words more than this clown has ever read of the Bible!

PubOption March 19, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Love his Foghorn Leghorn moment. "We don't worship Buddha…I say, we don't worship Buddha.."

gurukalehuru March 20, 2012 at 10:15 am

I say, I say, that's a joke, son…A JOKE

C_R_Eature March 19, 2012 at 8:58 pm

I can't help but notice that, yet again, the Pastafarians have not made the list. This is an unacceptable Outrage.

We Demand the right to be demeaned, belittled, discriminated against and treated as shittily by the evangelical Christian/Right wing Catholic axis as all the other religions and philosophies!

flamingpdog March 20, 2012 at 2:42 am

RAMEN!

C_R_Eature March 20, 2012 at 5:35 am
AlterNewt March 19, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Playin' the hits!

Sassomatic March 19, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Got no snark for this. Too scared. If these people have their way this country will be a Christian version of Iran. This has nothing to do with going -back- to the way we were before. Fundamentalism is a radical new political philosophy that is asserting itself in many countries, including this one. It is not a joke. It is very, very dangerous.

Burgdorf March 19, 2012 at 11:31 pm

Did Santorum just cough to try to hide his laughing when the preacher man said "I pray tonight for our president"?

redarmyzombie March 20, 2012 at 2:17 am

I see what you did there!

Negropolis March 20, 2012 at 2:29 am

Let me just say that you've got to be pretty fucked in the head to hate Buddhists, and that includes you, fundamentalist Hindus. Sorry.

ttommyunger March 20, 2012 at 8:43 am

Good rule: never trust a man with two front names. Also, Jesus is coming back, but this time he is really pissed, too, as well as….

paulabflat March 20, 2012 at 11:27 am

wait a second…

i thought rick santorum said that protestants aren't real christians. and. yet. here he is in a protestant type establishment, begging for acceptance.

boy. you know what? the signs usually aren't this overt….
http://videocafe.crooksandliars.com/heather/santo

Trinket March 20, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Does that guy know Rick Santorum is a Papist?

Baconzgood March 19, 2012 at 4:19 pm

I know…It's a dated joke. But the snark is there in spirit.

HistoriCat March 19, 2012 at 4:33 pm

We've all been there dude – but the snark IS there in spirit, so it's OK.

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